Two Stories From the Ex-Prodigal

8/7/2019 Two Stories From the Ex-Prodigal

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2/23

Defensive who? Who who who are you ?

I am the owner of the pigsty

Ok bye

Listen, dont hang up

I do not want to be having thisconversation with you?

Listen to me, my prodigal

I am not your prodigal; I am an ex-prodigal

Whatever, you are the prodigal I

know; I have you on my books as anemployee

X it out, I am the Ex Prodigal

You cant just reinvent yourself-listen, we have improved ourworking conditions

Forget it

You remember the food you stolefrom the pigs

(silence)


3/23

tut, tut I am ashamed of you, afterhow much I trusted you and let youin with my own pigs

I was hungry

We are all hungry; we cannot stealfrom pigs you know, I never stealfrom the pigs do I, and let me tellyou even I get hungry

You eat the pigs, dont you?

Yes, I do and I live by differentrules than the ones I expect you tofollow; thats my style

I know, and that is why I am back to my

fathers house

Listen, I do not care much aboutyour father, considering he hasnever worked for me and his own sonstole food from my pigs

Listen, I was hungry, I needed food

You stole from my pigs

Yes I did

Now be a good boy and get back toworking with me


4/23

You must be kidding

Not at all, and from now on you can

eat one extra handful of pig feedwithout having to steal it

Are you nuts?

What! Is this how your fathertaught you to talk to your employerwho provided for you and theemployer you stole from?

What do you want?

I want you to work for me, theworking conditions have improved, Ican make you the chief executive

pigsty boy

I was the only pigsty boy

No no no, there are many prodigalslike you and I have enough pigstiesfor all of them

So what, my fathers house has manyrooms for as many prodigals there arein the world

I want you to be my chief pigstyboy

Forget it


5/23

And lose my best Pigsty boy?

I am no longer your pigsty boy, I eventhrew away the employee id

You have not resigned, you justleft, I can take you to court fornegligence on the job, stealing fromthe precious pigs, pig feed does notgrow on trees you know

Yea, the stuff you had there wasgrowing new stuff on it

Shows how rich it was

Phew it stank

Now stop making that face over thephone and get your spoilt richbackside here

Not over your dead body

How about for wages?

What wages?

Wages and an identity independentof your father

ummm No


6/23

Wages and a bloated identity thatmakes you feel superior to yourbrothers, so you can throw your

weight around

Mmm, that sounds good, but I am quitethe master and inheritor of everythinghere, I have my fathers ring, you see

Yes, that and some pork- I am sureyou have not had pork where you are

Yeah, but I have had fattened calf

Pork, my boy is the real thing, dowe have a deal?

Ok, but I like it here in my fathers

house it feels real thing enough for me

Oh, rather obstinate you havebecome

Thank you

Now listen my boy, I will make you apioneer pigsty-planter cool eh

I am not interested

You will be the boss of your ownpigsty

I am not leaving my fathers house


7/23

Ah, there you are and it is a deal

What are you talking about?

You have agreed to work with me

No I did not

You will plant a pigsty in yourfathers house

What, are you nuts? my dad is Jewish

Alright, stay where you are; juststart by converting your bedroominto a pigsty

What the swine

Plant me a pigsty

How, I dont have pigs or pig feed

Stay where you are, just startliving like it is a pigsty

How do I do that?

Remember how the pigs would fightfor their food

Yes


8/23

Start doing that, let every goodthing from the father revolvearound you, your comforts and your

belly. Just pig it!

That sounds easy

"Do that and you will already have apigsty without pigs or pig food

Wow

The pigsty is within you

Oink

Make rules

What kind of rules

I dont care what rules; any ruleswill rule, and make sure you imposethem with a fervent frown, and makesure those rules dont apply to you

you mean do-as-I-say, dont-do-as-I-dotypes of rules; what else?

When a prodigal comes home andwhen the celebration begins

Ok

I want you to start sulking


9/23

I can do that, my older brother didthat as well

Yes, your brother is a genius, hebecame my partner without evenrunning away from home

Oh, and I thought he was an idiot fornot joining the party

Son

Yes father

Son your brother has been faithfulto me

I see father

Son, I want you to do likewise

When I entered the fathers house hesulked

He was doing my will son

What must I do to be better than him

Ah you want to be better than yourbrother, you have potential, thereis nothing like wanting to be betterthan others that makes you truly my

son and my representative. It was


10/23

dissatisfaction with my identity inthe Fathers presence that made methe owner of the pigsty in the first

place

Tell me father, what must I do?

Stand at the end of the road

Ok

Spot out prodigals even before theyare within your fathers sight

What if dad asks me what I am up to?

Tell him you are helping him keepan eye out for other prodigals

Ok

Tell other prodigals that they arenot good enough for the father andstop them before the party begins

Will that make me better than mybrother?

Of course it will. You will be thestar of my night sky, full of hotair and gas

Wow


11/23

You will prevent that which yourbrother witnessed, the obscenehomecoming

But, Dad, how will I ever tell anotherprodigal that he is not good enough forthe father? I know I was stinking anddirty and smelly and filthy and thefather accepted me the way I was

Did he let you remain that way?

No, he changed me

Who changed you?

The murderer of the innocent calf andall his servants changed me

What did your brother do?

He did not lift a little finger tochange me

Now go the second mile my son, raisea fist to stop people from beingchanged by the murderer and hisover fed servants, and do this bytelling them to change themselveseven before they can enter thefathers house and invent crazychanges that they can neveraccomplish by themselves


12/23

Aye Aye Sir

Now tell the other prodigals that

you had half a sandal on when youcame home

Yes, but it was all worn out

Stop all prodigals who come inwithout sandals

What else

Remember you took a bath in a ditchalong the way

But that did not change me or make mefit for the fathers house

Yes it did, you had a bath, rememberwe have rules that need to befollowed

Oh yes rules

Make a rule of that bath

what about prodigals who had a bath aschildren, before they became prodigals

did they have it they way you did,voluntarily stepping into the ditchtill the water was running over

their heads?


13/23

no sire, they didnt

make that a part of the rule,confuse them with details so theywill not see the father and theywill only hear what you say

Yes sir, this is beginning to sound goodI feel like I am the best prodigal inthe world er I mean ex-prodigal

ha ha ha whatever, once a prodigalalways a prodigal

Even if I am an ex prodigal you mean

Yes yes especially after you become

an ex-prodigal with the ambition tobe better than others

I not only want to be the best, I wantto train people to blindly imitate me sothey can never be better than me

Yes, and you will have a greatpigsty at the rate at which you aregoing

Thank you father

Now get to work, you slimy pigstyboy


14/23

Aye Aye SirCLICK~ ~

The Ex-Prodigal Returns To thePigsty (with a twist)Trrrrrrrrring Trrrrrrrring~ ~

Pigsty for prodigals, how may I helpyou today?

Hello, how are you

I recognize that voice; you must be oneof the prodigal prodigals who left myPigsty

Yes I am

Thank you for calling, how soon can weexpect you back and are you bringinganybody with you?

Hey thanks for the welcome, yes I ambringing somebody with me

Wow, talk about repeat business, who isthis other person you are bringing with

you?


15/23

It is somebody very precious to me

Excellent, excellent, please extend mywarm welcome

I sure will

Well, I am sure a lot must havehappened in your life since you left

Oh, yes a lot did happen

I am dying to know who this newcompanion would be

It is as I told you somebody veryimportant in my life

Awesome, mind if I ask if it is male orfemale

Sure you can ask, it is male

Ah, scandalous as ever, so you

Actually it is not scandalous oranything of that sort

Yeah, I guess for a prodigal prodigalnothing is scandalous


16/23

Funny that the owner of a Pigstyfor Prodigals should consideranything scandalous

What makes you think owners of Pigstydo not have anything good in them?

I did not say that

I have a heart of gold

ha ha ha, Ive noticed

i try to do what little i can forProdigals who are away from home

yeah i know you have a heart ofgold

Most prodigals come with less thanperfect ways you know

Tell me about it

I dont know if you were like that butyou still were a prodigal right

Yes, I was and I still am in manyways

Some Prodigals steal pig feed out ofhunger

Yup, I remember doing that


17/23

Now, I know how tough it is when onehas walked away from ones fathers

house, I know my accommodation is notthe best in the world, but what theSwine it is the best I can offer andProdigals often run back to theirfathers houses

Do they?

Well where else can they go?

You are correct about that

You went back to your fathers house,Right? Tell me how it was to be backthere?

Well it was the best thing thatever happened to me

Tell me all, tell me all gimmy the details

Well the father, fixed a great meal,and invited friends and neighbors,called me his son got me hooked withthe hottest babe in town

Sounds like one heaven of a Father


18/23

Yes, and the best part is that Iwant to invite you to the fathershouse as well

ha ha ha ha ha, really?

Whats so funny about that?

Do you think I have not tried gettingthere?

I am sure you have tried, but sinceyou are still running your pigsty Iam here to invite you home

It does not work that easy my boy

You were like a father to me in my

absence from my real father, if itwere not for you, and your lousypigsty and the sick food you gave mehere I would have never thought ofgoing back to my father

I am glad I have done my bit of good inthis universe, thanks but no thanks Iam not coming to your Fathers house

You said that you have tried in thepast, wanna tell me about what madeyou give up?

Well since it is your long distance

call, I guess I can tell you


19/23

Long before I set up this chain ofPigsty(s) for Prodigals I wanted to

go to where all the prodigals camefrom

All of us set out

All of you meaning

Me and my household, the servants andthe pigs included

I remember lines on the map to theFathers house that pointed that if Iaccepted the goodness of the father,me and my household would beaccepted, I remember an original

translation that said that myhousehold included my babies youknow what these pigs mean to me I cannot think of them as animals

There are many animals in my fathershouse, I remember there was a time of agreat flood when my father ensure thatevery type of animal was protected andtaken car of and also provided mates ofits own kind

Well along the way

Go on tell me what happened along the

way


20/23

Along the way, I met a lot of peoplefrom the Fathers house

More prodigals?

Yeah, some prodigals, some sons whohad never really been prodigals andsome of the fathers servants

mmm tell me what happened

They were worse than my pigsty

Really? What about them?

I cannot tell, because I do notunderstand it, but to me it was clear

that these morons were nothing likethe father

Really? What makes you say that?

They called me names; they said thatI have no place in the fathershouse, they called my pigs animalsand asked me to get out and that if Ishould come to the father, I shouldget rid of my pigs and have a bathand then proceed

What did you do?


21/23

The thing is I feel sorry for thoseidiots because they claim to be fromthe father but they have been away

from the father so long that they asnot anything like Him and my pigscan teach them a thing or two aboutdemonstrating the character of thefather

How do you know that?

I know the father

What

I know the father in my heart

You mean to say that you are own a

pigsty and live with all your pigs andclaim to know the father in your heart

Well all I can say is that thefather accepts me the way I am withall my pigs and I do not have tochange one bit on my own to be moreacceptable to the father

I can see what you mean, but there arestrict anti-pig rules in my fathershouse

I do not know, about that, I havenever been there, all I know is that

I am accepted with my pigs and all


22/23

I can see what you mean, when I was onmy way home, I thought I had to earn my

acceptance by asking that I be made aservant but the father did not give mea chance

If you look at the family book, youwill find some of the oldest ex-prodigals saying things that thefather does accept female servantsin his house, I also have been toldby the other zealous ex-prodigalsthat the father disapproved ofeating pork and then seemed tochange his mind with regard to thebig picture. The big picture changesevery time the boys change their

mind, they do not understand that ifthe big picture is BIG, it need nothave to fit perfectly into theirbuttonhole sized minds

Yeah, I have heard that a lot of viewskeep changing, and I wondered if we arealways seeing only parts of the wholeand frankly if we would ever see thewhole

My call is that I cannot but be apigsty owner and I cannot but livelike I belong to the father while Iam a pigsty owner


23/23

Cricky, but true

Well you said that you wanted to

come over, when can I expect you atthe pigsty?

Father and I will be moving in for goodthis evening

CLICK~ ~

Two Stories From the Ex-Prodigal

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