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Merry ChristmasDouglas and the Daily Dispatch join in wishing the peopkle of this

city and of this county a Merry Christmas this morning. As this paper

is delivered to your doortkis, morning, the joyous shotus of the kiddies

as they see what Santa Claus has left for them will make your heartsing your joy, your burden of the year lighter and your happinesscomplete. It is a glorious season. The most joyous of the year. Yourgifts have gone to others, you have received from relative and

friends gifts appropriate to the season. The churches are holding specialservices to celebrate the birth of the Christ child. Forget not to tellthe children that this Christmas day is the celebration of the birth of

Christ Jes,us.

For the Douglas Chamber of Commerce and Mines, a nice gift to

the people of Douglas would be a splendid thermometer, of standardgrade, placed somewhere in the heart of the business district, so that

the residents might be able to see from day to day just what theweather ia doing. There are always residents here who feel that it is

much colder or much warmer than is actually the case. Such a

thermometer would be of value to all.

For the Borderland Climate club, a splendid gift would be moreT>eople coming to the city, brought here through their advertising. Thefirst of this influx has already arrived in the city. From this time

on there will be more and more people coming here to make their homes.For those in hospitals, and ill in their homes, queik return to

health is wished. May they, though confined to their beds today, soon

be able to be out and about their daily affairs. To be ill on Christmas

day is indeed a sad thing, hut friends will come to make the day

happier. To those in the county hospital, the Kiwanians have carried

the spirit of Christmas.Each citizen can give a splendid gift to himaelf, to their families and

to the city, by planting shrubs, palms and evergreens to aid in making

this city more beautiful and attractive than ever. The weather and the

climate of Douglas are the best to be found anywhere. Evergreens,

palms and blooming plants do splendidly in this city. Let’s make

Douglas the most city in the state.Spend the day among the children with your friends. It is a

day of friendliness and happiness. There are rodeo sports at theInternational Speedway today and automobile races for the championship

6f the southwest at the same track tomorrow. Every person i§ ready

with outstretched hand to greet you and wish you a most Merry

Enjoy the spirit of the day. Again, a Merry Christmas to all.

More Truth Than PoetryBy James J. Montague

THE VICTIM|

I learned all the golf that I know—-

-1/ The trick of the pastime I caughtV From the stuff that a popular pro

Wrote down in a book which I bought. •

It taught me to wallop them off of the tee,To pitch to the green with a mashie —

And develop, by practice a game that would beA winner, but never too flashy.

0 • '' V-« I worked out a lesson a day,

I wore into tattersi that book,I was told that I never should play

Till I mended my slice and my hook.

m' Each day, though the pains in my arms and my backWould stab like the thrust of a sabre,

The little white pill I attempted to whackf With intensive and infinite labor.

When I nearly had mastered the game,

When I felt I was getting ahead —

* Exceedingly ill I becameAnd for weeks was confined to my bed.

'

And writhing in pain, muffled up to the throatAnd yearning to try my new game on,

- I learned that some clod-digging amateur wrote*The book that the pro put his name on.

I know that my game is all wrong*,

And it givea me a terrible jarTo think I shall never belong

In the ranks of the lads under par.I am sure thajt forever I’ll be a mere dub,.

That beyond me the coveted art is,/ But now every day, with my heaviest club

yr I am looking for two certain parties!

tNo Longer a PuzzleWe used to wonder how a single Maine farmer could make $350,000

profit off a potato patch, but that was before we laid in our winter

supply. *

Suggested RevisionKipling ought to dig up that “Vampire” poem and delete the words

‘‘hank of hair.”

There Are Two of ’Em• The other Dawes plan, called cloture, isn’t working out so well.

The Point of View.... Curious how much more willing congressmen are to cut the incometax since they’ve had Co pay it themselves

DOUGLAS DAILYDISPATCH, SATURDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 25, 1926.

Doc’s Annual Visit

\~ PLUCKED FROM THE .PLAINSwatchfil waiting j

Louella is a careless tot andusually loses her penny -before shegets a chance to spend it. The otherday her next-door neighbor met her,

on the* street and Louelia, as usual, iexplained that she was on her way |to the store to spend her daily (

penny.Just then *her little brother came

along and piped' up:

"Wun along Louella,' X'se wight

behind you an’ 1/ finders is- spenders.'

OLD LOAFERMrs. Henry Stevens, worker among!

women’s clubs, was speaking on the |right of women the world over, to jvote and to bold office. “Mostwomen are so quietly efficient that

their value passes unnoticed,” sheargued, “and in proof of my point I

often think of the boy who boastedof the amount of work he did.

“ ‘I get up at half-past five andhave my breakfast,’ said the boy.

“ ‘Anyone else get up too?'“‘Oh, yes.. Mother gets my break-

fast and then she gets dad's at six.’“ ‘And your dinner?'“‘Oh, mother gets that, top, and

then gets dad’s when he comes home.’“ ‘Has she the afternoon to herself?’

, “‘Oh, no, she cleans up the house,

looks after the children and fitces up

the supper. Then we read the news-papers and go to bed.’

“ ‘Your mother, too?“ ‘Well, not right away. There's

| always some Gishes to do and gen-

erally some sewing.’“ ‘What w-ages do you get?’

“‘I get S2O and dad gets s'4s.’“ ‘And ' your mother?’“‘Mother? She doesn’t get wages.

She doesn’t do any work.’ ”

HELPING HIM OITA certain youpg film, star got

married the other day. Perhaps thatwas why hubby, as he drove downHollywood , boulevard,, was thinking

of everything but the traffic. Any-

way, he ran right by the signal atCahuenga and nearly ran down apolice officer.

“Let’s see your driver’s license,"

demanded the officer, but it turnedout that hubby had none,. Thenit was discovered that the car haduseless brakes.

“Worse and worse,” exclaimed theexasperated officer, “what do you

mean, driving a car without a licenserunning by traffic signals and noteven having any brakes? You’ll get

life!”All this time, wifey had been

huddled in the back seat, but now.

that she realized her husband’s des-

perate plight she knew that some-jthing must be done to save him.

She had' an inspiration.

"Officer,” she whispered, beckon-ing the policeman to her, “don't mind ja thing my husband says or does.You've got to make allowances for:

the poor man. He's drunk."

DID'T GET OVER —— jSmiff kins is one of those men who j

) like to get something for nothing]and when he <called upon a friend

and found a nice fat chicken hadjust been placed on the table, hesmiled. Then he sniffed apprecia-

tively.

“I say, old man,” he said, ‘‘tha’.smells good. Are you going to eat

it alone?”The other knew Hmiffkins.“Oh, no,” be solid, quietly. “With

spinach and potatoes, and things like

that.”i

FOOT EASE

The flood of politicians besieging

him for office caused Governor-electYoung to remark:

“They all remind me of little Teddy

They are so naive in their requests

and so sincere in their belief inthemselves. 1Vie little Teddy I referto had been to his grandmother’s.

It was a very hot day but whenit came time for him to go hometiie little fellow ran all the way.

" ‘Why, Teddy!” exclaimed his

mother. ‘Why did you run so fast

on this hot day and get all tired

out?’•• ‘Why ma!’ exclaimed the little

chap. ‘I rurined so fast so I’d be

home before I’d gei tired.’ ”

rz >

| Sixteen Years Ago I> ——^

A son was born this week to Mr.and Mrs. W. W. Young in Agua

Prieta. Mr. Young is agent forthe Nacozari railway.

E. A. Von Arnin has returnedfrom New Mexico, where he hasbeen taking a fe\y weeks' outing

on a ranch in valley.

Fletcher M. Doan, ,Tr., arrivedlast night from Boludo to spend

the holidays with his parents,Judge and Mrs. Doan.

W. G. McDonald has arrivedfrom his mine at El Tlgre to

spend the holidays with his fam-ily.

The Elks will keep open houseMonday at their new club roomson F avenue.

Dr. A. W. Vanneman was operat-

ed upon for appendicitis yester-day morning at the Queen, hospital

in Bisbee. • :

one thing about the Nicaraguan,revolutions, they' do* take life easily

down there.

We are waiting to see a picture

of Mr. Ford’s new product and wond-eiung if it will be another tin-type.

Today’s question: What has becomeof the old-fashioned divorce?

What this country needs are day-jclubs for night workers.

Chicago crime expert says it would jbe cheaper' to pension thugs. From jthe reports from some of our bestjails, it seems some sort of plan

has been in effect for several years.

r~ ;Abe Martin

V ,-J

It’s fine C belong C lots o’ differ-ent things, but don’t forget when

! joinin’ tlint everthing Hints organized

is run by two or . three peopl**.

There’s nothin’ new or -wonderfuli about Mussolini, ’eept he bosses u

] little bigger aren thnn’s generally

{ bossed by our own politicians.

Silver Gauntlets

j

elver-bound strips make an Interest*in£' new cuff on a suede glov«& „

! MOVIE SIDE-LIGHTS !» *

(By the Associated Press)

Grass and flowers did not grow fast

enough for the movies, so a lawn,

flower garden and banana tree are

being grown at Universal City by arti-ficial light and heat in order to havea big set ready on the required date.The set represents a plantation home,

and will appear in the plcturizatlon of

"Uncle Tom’s Cabin.”

Featured players, entirely at ease

before batteries of motion picture cam-

eras leveled at them, have been knownto "freeze up” and become as self-con-scious as an amateur while posing fornew portraits and “still” pictures. Thephotographer is obliged to resort to

subterfuges to put his movie camera-proof subjects at their qase during

these ordeals.

Six extras were recently engaged fora scene in "Paradise For Two,” in

which they had to portray the roles of

six extras applying at a theatricalcasting office for work.

#

The wilds aren’t wild enough any

more for making outdoor adventurethrillers. It was necessary .to ship asmall sized menagerie of wild animalsinto the Sierras for the filming of Zane

Grey’s "The Man of the Forest.” Amountain lion, a bear, some deer, foxes,

wolves and a coyote were transportedto the location.

Obtaining animal factors for the|movies usually is an easy matter but'Director Herbert Brenon was hard put]to find camels for use in desert scenes.!He wanted 100 animals but after scour-ing the country, could find only 35,

which were bought or rented fromvarious circuses and dealers. A herdof 150 elephants was recently assem-bled without any difficulty for a pic-

ture of the life of P. T. Barnum. ,>

Monte Blue, Patsy Ruth Miller, Roy

del Ruth and Darryl Francis Zanuck is

one quartette making feature pictures

who have combined their talents twicein one year. Their first picture to-

gether was “Hogan's Alley.!' Theirsecond combination is “Wolf’s Cloth-ing.”

“Big Boy," one of the youngest ci-nema stars, has just celebrated histhird birthday anniversary. His real

name is Malcolm Sabiston, and lastyear while learning how’ to talk, he

became a principal player in juvenilecomedies. He is little more than threefeet tall and weighs less than 40pounds.

Impressionistic/ photography is anexample of modernistic influence inthe motion pictures. It has been em-ployed in “Sunya,” Gloria Swanson’sforthcoming production, in w’hich an

unusual effect of photographing themind has been attempted by DudleyMurphy, cinematographer, in filming

a sequence of enacted “thoughts” withrythmic speed.

The “thoughts" are those of MissSwanson as she gazes into a crystal

which, in the photoplay, reflects arapid succession of visions. They are

projected so fast that they furnish a

vort of sub-conscious background forthe main action of the story withoutthemselves deliberately portraying

scenes, and they cover in a few min-utes what ordinarily would take hoursto screen. The images often are dis-torted to signify the troubled! mindof the character.

Dolores Costello and Kate Price re-

cently met on a set and talked overold times. Miss Costello played in sev-eral pictures with Miss Price as long

ns twelve years ago, when MauriceCostello, father of Dolores and Helene,

was a screen idol.

John Gilbert and Lew Cody havebasement dens in their Californiahomes. Gilbert has equipped his withrapiers, masks and other equipment

for fencing, while Cody has one roomfor billiards and another for his corn-beef and cabbage dinners.

“T have been womlerinK,” said thegeneral manager, "if them whalesreally eats people up. Furthermore,I been wondering whether you couldmake people believe they do if you

built a scenario around one of ’em." I"Well,” said his assis’.ant, medit-

atively, "they stand for a good deal.

Maybe you could. What’s the idea,!chief."

“A feller has been in here witha script that is brand new, with a

thrill in it that would knock ’emoff their seats if they didn’t thinkit was funny. That’s the only troublewith it. It’s got to be convincing

or it’s no good. A laugh would killit."

"You’re right there. It’s got tohe horrible or P’s a bust, that sort

of stuff has. Would it cost muchto film?” .

"Not so much as most of ’em:only you’d have to have a property

***t-sC • 'i- - I OonwvsoXT -'*

whale with a motor Inside of him ito run him. Waterproofing him so

he could keep afloat, and fixing upjmachinery to make him open and |shut his mouth would be something]of a job, but there’s plenty of smart jlads on the lot who could ’do Ujfour us. I sure like the story, andI hope we can do it.”

“New idea in Ht, is there?”"You said so. The lad who thought

it out has got a nut on him. He1 didn’t read the whole script, hut hegive me an outline of it, which was

1 all I wanted. I might as well try

lit on you first. Listen.I “There’s a bird who this hereI author called Jones, but whose name| we’ll change of course, who gets

i kidnapped by a crew of pirates offj a merchant ship, because they figure

j his friends and relatives will come| through with a big ransom for him.

] “While they’re getting him there’s

I a big sea fight, and We could use

j some of those we shot for that: pitcher which we made after the

“Sea Hawk” had made such a hit.j Our pitcher flopped, so nobody wouldj know that the sea fight wasn’t newi stuff.i “At the end of the sea fight they

J make all the crew of the merchant

j ship walk the plank except thisj bozo. They lock him up, down in

the hold or bilge or brig or what-j ever they call it until they can send1 a wireless to his friends for a ran-

“They didn’t have wireless in thepirate days,” objected the assistant.

“We ain’t going back to pirate

days. We’re going to bring 'his

whole business up to date. After,they got him locked up, bad weather Icame up and they was nearly washed ton the rocks three or four times.

“They tried to figure out what was jthe trouble, but they found that they|hadn’t captuyed the prisoner on a,jFriday, and that nobody had spilled

the salt, and that there had neverbeen 13 people at table, there not

being any table on the boat except

the one where the captain ate allalone.

“In a day or two a big fish,

which anybody could see was a whale,

was seen swimming along side, andgiving the captain a mean look every

time it could catch his eye. No

matter how bad the weather was, and

it was terrible all the time, this

whale was right by the boat, withthat half ugly, half jeering look on

his face.“Well, the captain begun to put

two and two together, and pretty soon

he came to the conclusion that his

prisoner was some kind of a jinx,

and that as long as he was on board

there wasn't much show for fine

weather.“He knew his ship wasn’t any too

good, and he was afraid if the wind

and y the waves kept up she would

either be blown on shore or go to

I pieces on him, so he called the crewinto consultation and asked them

what had better be done about the! jinx.

••Most of the boys was pretty sore

when they heard the feller in the

hold was making the trouble, and

wanted to go down and hit him

over the head byway of retaliation.

But the captain said this wouldn t

do no good, on account of the whale

' having no means of knowing what| had been done to the feller. He

1 said the only thing to do was to

I put the guy ashore, and forget the

1 ransom money.

“But the crew wouldn't hear of

that, being entitled to shares of

whatever came aboard in the way

of coin. One of ’em made the sug-

gestion that if the jinx was thrown

overboard while the whale was look-ing, it would satisfy the beast, and

'he would go away and leave themalone, taking- his nasty weather along

with him.“The captain mulled this over, and

finally agreed to it, so that was whatthey done. They brought the fellerup out of the hold, leavin’ the hand-

cuffs on him and took him to the

side of the boat. Then one of them

heaved a biscuit at the whale to

attract his attention, and when he

turned his eyes toward the boat,

they chucked the prisoner overboard.Well, they were surprised when the

whale sticks his jaws out of the

GIVING ’EM SOMETHING NEWby JAMES J. MONTAGUE

ocean so high he can't take in any

water, opens them and fields theguy as nice as you ever saw donein a baseball game. Then his jaws

snapped together, and off he went.And in 15 minutes the sea was as

smooth as a mill pond, with the sun

shining over head and the seagulls

all singing like robins.”

"Sea gulls can’t sing,” said theassistant.

"What difference does that make?We couldn't have gulls singing in apitcher anyway, could we? Now,

don’t interrupt any more.

"You see the whale ploughing , hisway toward land for a while, andthen be comes near the shore, and

coughs up the jinx on a. nice dry*

rock. That can all be done me-

chanical. When \he gets hack tohis home town he organizes a posseof sailors, and they go out andsink the pirate ship. It comes out

in the end, although I haven’t figuredout how to do it, that the fellerhad found the whale stranded on

a rock years back when i’ was a

baby, given it something to cp.t andput it back in the water. The whalehad kept tab on him after that evprytime he went to sea, and when itsaw him captured, it tagged along

after the ship to look for a chanceto save him. People can put the badweather down to chance, or believethe whale? brought it along, just as

they please. How do you like thostory?”

“Great,” said the assistant. “I hope

you can do it.”“Ihope I can. It would be a shame

to waste a bright new original idealike that. I wonder how the fellercame to tjiink it up.”

(Copyright, 1926, Bell Syndicate, IncAdicate, Inc.)

ODD BITS OF NEWS(By The Associated Press)

NEW YORK—After handling

gold and currency shipments

amounting to the enormous totalof $30,566,382,435, James W. Allenis celebrating the completion of25 years of service with theNational, City Bank, where hehas been chief messenger incharge of gold and currencytransportation.

NEW YORK—A special silver lining

was found by patrons of one of the58 night clubs visited in the latestprohibition drive. The proprietor

[ since has been trying to identify

I diners who left in excess of SI,OOO

[ in table checks unpaid when tfce dry

| visitqrs appeared.

WINNIPEG, Man.—Twenty-two

Manitoba ducks for the lakesand ponds of the ancestral estateof Baron Byng, of Vimy, formergovernor general of the dominion,

were passengers on the steamer

which carried Prince George home.They were captured in nearby

marshes.

NEW YORK—Unusual resemblanceto her noted father, Enrico, wasconceded by ship news reporters whogreeted Gloria Caruso, seven, on herarrival today from Paris. Mrs.Caruso (who was Mrs. Ingraham untilher recent divorce) asserted therewas a “tonal resemblance” in thedaughter's singing voice, but no testwas had at the pier.

PARIS. Pink velvet puppies withbright red protruding tongues and an

over-fed air are the fashionable play-things at present in Paris. This ani-mal, one of the most amusing everplaced on the holiday market, is theking of the Christmas counters where

seekers of the smart novelty congre-gate.

WHITEHALL, N. Y Washing-

ton county farmers, after an In-vestigation of the decreased pro-duction of milk from local herds,

blame It on the automobile. Thesirens cause the cows to scurry

about Ithe field Instead of attend- .

lug to business, the report claims.

SCHNECTADY, N. Y.—The GeneralElectric company has come to occupy

the position of benevolent uncle to thecallow alumnus. Four thousand col-lege graduates are on its payroll, ofwhom 1,293 are employed in the local

| plant. Six colleges have more than

100 graduates each with the company.

MANCHESTER, England. Women

hereabouts have taken up jiu jitsu.

Several classes in and around Man-chester have been organized where theJapanese science is taught to women

' and girls as part of a physical culturecourse designed to make them betetrable to 100 kafter themselves whengoing home late at night from fac-tories and other places of employment.

“No Breakfast Complete Without

The Dispatch.”

“Didn't have time” is a good alibifor all erfrors of omission yesterday:

It was the first day of winter andthe shortest of the year.

TWO