Tutor Corps

Mentor

Handbook

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Table of Contents Page(s)

Welcome 2

About Tutor Corps 2 - 4

Your Role 5 - 6

What Will You Do? - Expectations and Guidelines 6 - 7

A Top Priority- Tutor Safety 8 - 9

How to Create a Partnership with Your Tutor’s Parent or Guardian 9

Tutor Corps Support- How Tutor Corps Works with You and Your Tutor 9 - 10

You Can Make a Difference in the Life of a Tutor 10 - 11

Valuable Relationships 11 - 13

Strategies for Common Problems 13 - 15

Thank You 16

Additional Information 17 - 19

Blank Page for Your Notes 20

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Welcome

Thank you for choosing to make a difference in a tutor’s life. There are all kinds of statistics that show what a huge difference a mentor can make in a tutor’s life, but the numbers are often difficult to associate with real people and real life situations.

Think back to when you were younger. Who was the person in your life that made a difference to you? It may have been a neighbor who taught you a new skill, a cousin who took you to your first ball game, an aunt or uncle or family friend who taught you how to play catch or ride a bike or fly a kite or do your math homework.

These are all special moments for tutors that help them develop confidence in themselves, and caring for the world around them. We all had someone in our lives, other than a parent, who made a difference to us. This is what you can do for a tutor in our program. It’s so simple-it’s just a matter of making yourself available on a consistent basis. It’s showing you care. It’s having fun with a tutor. It’s listening to them talk about whatever is going on in their life. It’s a series of small, teachable moments that in the end instill a sense of wonder, warmth, and confidence into a tutor’s life.

You are about to become a mentor to a tutor. And both of your lives will be forever changed by the experience.

We are so happy you have decided to join the Guadalupe Center’s Tutor Corps Mentoring Program!

About Tutor Corps

The Guadalupe Center of Immokalee is committed to helping its Tutor Corps members

successfully graduate from high school and continue onto college. In turn, students

must demonstrate leadership skills and take initiative over their own college-readiness

experience as a Tutor Corps member. Tutor Corps is very proud that beginning in 2007,

100% of its members have been accepted to colleges around the nation.

Tutor Corps is a two component program, college preparedness and employment as

tutors in one of the Guadalupe Center’s educational programs. The college

preparedness program is designed to help students better themselves in a number of

different ways and increase their chances of getting into the college of their choice.

Sessions include ACT/SAT prep, public speaking, FAFSA workshops, writing, and many

other related classes and workshops. There may be opportunities to attend college

tours, summer experiences on college campuses, and informational sessions with staff

from a local college. We hold many different meetings and attendance at these sessions

is mandatory. These meetings are held after school, on half days, and days when

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students do not have school. On occasion, there are also meetings on Saturdays.

Additionally, for every year a tutor is in our program they can accrue up to $4,000 in

scholarship money.

The second component is employment in one of the Guadalupe Center’s educational

programs. Here tutors work approximately 15 hours/week helping struggling students in

our after school program or early childhood education program overcome their

educational barriers and perform at grade level. This small income earned by the tutors

is oftentimes given to their families to help with household bills, food, or used to

purchase school supplies that the tutors need for their own academics.

Who are our Tutors?

Our tutors are high achieving Immokalee High School students who dream of

graduating from college one day and are willing to put forth the effort to achieve it.

How are tutors accepted into the program?

Tutors apply to the Tutor Corps Program in the fall of their freshmen, sophomore, junior,

or senior year of high school. When applying, they must submit an application, two

letters of recommendation, a copy of their grades which must display a 3.0 GPA or

higher, along with supporting documentation. Selected students then go through an

interview process. After being interviewed by Guadalupe staff, the appropriate numbers

of tutors are hired and begin their participation in the Tutor Corps Program.

Throughout their time in the program, tutors are required to maintain a minimum 3.0

GPA and participate in all Tutor Corps workshops. Tutors and their Parents/Guardians

are required to sign a participation contract which outlines all expectations and

obligations throughout the duration of a tutor’s time in our program. Failure to uphold

their end of the contract may result in dismissal from Tutor Corps, although this is

almost never a problem we face.

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Who to contact

If you have any questions regarding your tutor or the program, please feel free to reach out to any of the program staff listed below. Megan McCarthy, Vice President of Programs 509 Hope Circle Immokalee, FL 34142 239-657-7145 mmccarthy@guadalupecenter.org Althea Irving, Director of School Age Programs 509 Hope Circle Immokalee, Fl 34142 239-657-7133 airving@guadalupecenter.org Helen Midney, Tutor Corps High School Coordinator 509 Hope Circle Immokalee, Fl 34142 239-657-7148 hmidney@guadalupecenter.org

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Your Role

The success of the match depends greatly on the efforts of the mentor, the tutor, and

the Guadalupe Center. Each one plays an important role in helping to build a

meaningful relationship.

George Ohye says, “In a nutshell, mentors are like surrogate grandparents living in an

adjacent town. For some, it does not entail doing anymore than staying in touch to

encourage to excel and study, being there as a sounding board and serving as a

reminder of what a college education can do to take one out of poverty. For others, like

Fiddlers Creek neighbors Barbara & Doug Davidson, it can mean much more as they

have been a source of emotional support to Mario Trejo, Tutor Corps college student,

who experienced a family tragedy. The Davidson’s, as well as folks at the Center, were

there for him in his time of need.”

Why be a mentor?

Friendship is a powerful thing. It’s fun, most anyone can be a friend, and it’s important.

Experiencing fun activities together and forming a trusting bond with a tutor can have a

powerful and positive impact on the tutor.

A mentor is also a role model. Good role models bring out the best in people and are

sources of guidance. They are reliable, patient, nonjudgmental, caring, enthusiastic, and

committed. By taking on this role as mentor these are the qualities we want you to show

your tutor. Many times tutors have not experienced adults who exhibit these qualities. It

is important for the intellectual and character growth of your tutor that they see these

traits in everyday life, so they can learn and implement them into their own.

What is a mentor?

It won’t be long before you meet your tutor for the first time. And, when you do, it will

help you to understand your role as a mentor.

Successful mentors…..

Emphasize friendship over changing the behavior of the tutor.

Are not authoritarian.

Decide activities together with tutors.

Are consistent and dependable.

Have realistic expectations.

Are patient.

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Focus on having fun.

Set boundaries and limits.

Acknowledge that positive impact on the tutor comes after the relationship is

built.

Put a tutor’s safety and well-being first.

What a mentor is NOT

Parent

Financial support

Peer

Therapist

For the match to be successful all parts, tutor, mentor, and Center, must be working

cohesively. Occasionally one of these components falls out of line. Please see the

“Strategies for Common Problems” section beginning on page 13 for helpful ways to

deal with problems within a match. And, as always, the Guadalupe Center staff is

available to help with any situation that may occur.

What Will You Do?

Expectations and Guidelines

We all had someone in our lives, other than a parent, who made a difference to us. This

is what you can do for a tutor in our program, it’s really pretty simple - it’s a matter of

making yourself available on a consistent basis. It’s showing you care. It’s having fun

with a tutor. It’s listening to them talk about whatever is going on in their lives. It’s a

series of small teachable moments that, in the end make a BIG difference.

Kids who feel better about themselves do better in school.

Mentoring is not a classroom program, and it’s not tutoring. Mentoring is one-on-one

relationship built on camaraderie. Of course, some students do talk with their mentors

about class, or do homework, or read together, but it’s really about friendship and

guidance.

To make the most of your relationship:

Be a good role model:

o Listen.

o Have fun.

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o Take time to get to know this new person in your life.

o Choose activities that you both enjoy and that will strengthen the bond

between you.

o Don’t set out to impose mandatory changes in the tutor. Positive behaviors

will flow after your tutor trusts you and your tutor grows in being more

secure, not by your declaring mandatory behaviors that the tutor has to

do.

Be Consistent:

o Show the tutor you think your time together is important.

Be involved and participate in agency activities:

o This connects you with other mentors and tutors and allows your tutor to

interact with other students in the program.

Regularly communicate with your tutor and the Tutor Corps High School

Coordinator.

o Anytime you are unsure about what to do or how to handle a situation, the

Tutor Corps High School Coordinator is here to help.

Work for a long-lasting relationship.

Realize that problems may come up:

o Its normal for problems to arise in a match relationship

o Try to balance your expectations of what it will be like with your tutor and

be realistic about how fast the relationship will take to develop.

To begin each year we hold a dinner at the Guadalupe Center in Immokalee in mid

November (for early returning mentors) or in mid January (for later returning mentors)

where mentors meet their assigned student and family.

Additionally, we hold two picnics for mentors and tutors. One will be held in the

Hideaway Beach Community on Marco Island for Seniors and Juniors, and the other will

be held at Wiggins State Park for Sophomores and Freshmen. For some of the

students, this will be the first outing on a beach. Picnics will be in February or March.

Each year we also participate in a cultural event. This event varies from year to year.

Generally it is held on a Sunday in February or March. More information will be provided

at a later date.

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A Top Priority- Tutor Safety

Our tutor’s safety is our #1 priority. We focus on the tutor’s safety and well-being

throughout the match. We do this by providing:

o Thorough professional screening.

The safety and security of our students and mentors is of the utmost

concern to the Guadalupe Center. Because of this, we require that all

mentors be fingerprinted prior to participation as a mentor in the Tutor

Corps Program. This will not be an annual requirement. Once you are

fingerprinted, you will not have to be fingerprinted again for 5 years. We

have worked to ensure this process is the easiest possible for you and

appreciate everyone understanding the necessity of screening all people

who come in contact with minors.

To process the background screenings there is currently an $84.25 fee

associated for each person being screened. We have looked into every

possible way to avoid or lessen this fee for mentors but unfortunately there

is no way around this charge.

The Tutor Corps High School Coordinator will walk new mentors through

the background screening process and the current mentors through the

rescreening process when the time arises.

o Through structured events.

The Guadalupe Center provides a series of structured activities

throughout the year. The Center does not authorize activities between

tutors and their mentors outside of those scheduled by the

organization. If a mentor decides to participate in an outside activity

with the tutor any liability incurred would be the responsibility of the

mentor.

We do not allow for underage tutors to spend the night at a mentor’s

house.

o Through careful and thoughtful matchups.

In this regard, single female mentors are paired with female mentees and

single male mentors are paired with male mentees. Mentor couples can

be paired with female or males mentees.

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o Through constant contact between tutors and mentors.

The Tutor Corps Coordinator works closely with each group to maintain

consistent contact with the mentors and the tutors.

As a mentor you play a role in supporting Guadalupe Center’s primary role of keeping

the tutor safe. Mentors need to model appropriate behavior.

Some safety issues include: Internet safety, bullying and violence prevention, the tutors

medical condition and tutor abuse prevention.

If you ever have a situation where your tutor talks to you about any abuse or

violence he/she is subject to, contact a Guadalupe Center staff member

immediately. Our response to the disclosure by a tutor can prevent negative

outcomes for the tutor and their family. For that reason, it is critical that

volunteers follow our protocols on abuse.

How to Create a Partnership with Your Tutor’s Parent or Guardian

Parents have entrusted their child to you. Parents remain the leaders in their family and

our role is to support them whenever we can when appropriate. It’s important that we

respect and honor that. The parent’s support is critical to the success of the match. It

may take a while to establish your role with the parents. Listed below are some ways

you can work with the Parent/Guardian.

o Communicate with them before and after an activity. Describe what you

plan to do and what you’ve done together.

o Make sure they are aware of activity plans, and ask if the activity is ok (do

not rely on the tutor to tell the parent/guardian about plans.)

o Let them know about changes in the plans.

o Respect the privacy and confidentiality of your tutor’s family.

o Maintain a primary relationship with your tutor and do not become overly

involved with the rest of his/her family.

o Talk to the Tutor Corps High School Coordinator about any concerns you

have about your tutor’s family or your tutor’s well-being.

Tutor Corps Support- How Tutor Corps Works with You and Your Tutor

Tutor Corps works hard to support the relationship you have with your tutor. Sometimes

they will call, text, meet you in person, or email you to make contact. This allows us to

provide support, give you ideas for activities, etc. You can think of the Tutor Corps

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Coordinator as the main link between you, your tutor, your tutor’s school, and the

agency.

That’s not all that the Tutor Corps Coordinator provides for your match. They also:

Provide you with feedback on how you’re making a difference.

Find information and resources that you might be interested in.

Give you activity ideas for you and your tutor.

Help you communicate with your tutor.

Work with you on any conflicts that might come up.

You don’t need to wait to hear from the Tutor Corps Coordinator. Here are some good

reasons for calling the Tutor Corps Coordinator:

To get feedback from the tutor, and organization about how the match is going.

Share fun stories about your match.

Discuss concerns you are having with your match or the safety of your tutor.

Ask for activity ideas.

Report any emergency situations.

Contact the Tutor Corps Coordinator by phone and/or email, whichever is most

convenient for you.

If the Tutor Corps Coordinator is not available please contact the agency for assistance.

We make it a priority to serve you when you need it.

You Can Make a Difference in the Life of a Tutor

It’s pretty simple; by building a trusting relationship with a tutor you can make a powerful impact in his/her life. That’s what it’s all about.

Here are some thoughts on making a difference:

Consistently sharing activities together (having lunch, just talking) is the biggest factor in forming a positive relationship with them.

Deciding together what activities to do fosters a stronger relationship.

By being there you are making a difference even if you don’t think you are.

If you’re concerned about not making a difference, talk it over with the Tutor Corps Coordinator.

Mariela Vega says “My mentor from Guadalupe is truly concerned about me and always

keeps up to date with me!”

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Ruth Estrada says “The events that include both mentors and mentees allow us to get closer to them.”

Valuable Relationships

Now that you’re matched with your tutor you may be thinking what comes next and how fast it will happen?

As every experienced mentor will tell you, the relationship takes time to develop. It is a different experience for every mentor and tutor, and no doubt your relationship will be unique.

However there are some common stages that most match relationships will go through at different times, usually depending on the level of trust that has been established.

HONEYMOON STAGE

From the first meeting to approximately the fourth month.

What does this stage look like?

o You are both trying to figure out each other. o Tutors may try to get their mentors approvals or impress them.

What can you do to move it along?

o Without prying, learn facts about your tutor and reference them in your conversations: e.g. favorite things, best friend, where they’ve traveled.

o Be consistent and flexible, do what you said you were going to do. o Be patient and remember that relationships have ups and downs, and don’t

happen by themselves.

GROWTH STAGE

From approximately the fourth-month to one-year.

What does this stage look like?

o This is the most crucial time regarding the development of the mentor/tutor relationship. This is the time that may be a turning point in the relationship.

o It is common, around the four-month date, that your tutor will begin testing you to see what you really are about and how much he/she can get away with.

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What can you do to move it along?

o Show your tutor that he/she can trust you, through your reliability, consistency, and time together. As trust develops your tutor will probably begin sharing bits of information here or there with you.

o Keep in close contact with the Tutor Corps Coordinator for ideas. o Recognize and praise accomplishments o If you need to give advice or address behavior problems, give reason; avoid

“should”.

MATURITY STAGE

This stage begins somewhere around the one year anniversary.

What does this stage look like?

o You will notice your relationship with your tutor had become more positive and realistic and match activities are less structured.

o Most mentors have shed their preconceived notions regarding the match and their tutor.

o As the relationship matures, you will see the maturity of your tutor as he/she develops.

What can you do to move it along?

o Identify past shared experiences and enjoy shared “jokes.” o Learn something new to both of you, together.

TRANSITION

Your relationship with your tutor may transition to less regular contact because of a change in where you or your tutor lives, a change in life circumstances, a feeling that you have successfully taken your tutor through a critical stage, tutors graduating high school and transitioning to college, decreasing times that the tutor and mentor are meeting, or because of challenges in the match that might cause us to re-determine that pairing. When one of these circumstances occurs, the tutor and mentor may decide that it is a time for a transition in your relationship. This transition should be handled in a sensitive, thoughtful, and caring way.

o No matter the reason or length of the match, you and your tutor have given a lot to each other and going through this transition should be handled in a sensitive, thoughtful, and caring way.

o Recognize that you may have made an impact at some level on your tutor.

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o The tutor you now know is probably not the same tutor with whom you were initially matched. Changes have probably occurred. Celebrate the experience as much as you can together-highlights and hurdles,

o If the transition of closing the match is not approached carefully, a tutor can be hurt by the experience. Our staff will work with you and the tutor to help you with this transition.

Strategies for Common Problems

Over the years we have seen the common problems that can occur in any match.

These are called common because they are, well…..common. It’s normal for

tutor/mentor relationships to experience some of these situations.

“What do I do?”

“My tutor doesn’t show appreciation.”

Coming into the match with a preconceived notion of how your tutor should show

appreciation will set you up for a letdown. Your tutor may not say “please” and

“thank you” when you first start meeting, and even after many times together

he/she may still not respond in a way that you deem appropriate.

“I had a good time” may eventually be a response, but may be a long time in

coming. Sometimes he/she might only say, “It was o.k.” Be sure you model the

behavior you would like your tutor to demonstrate, and be consistent.

“My tutor doesn’t share feelings and/or initiate conversation.”

You may feel that your tutor is not putting as much into the relationship as you

would like. The relationship may seem one-sided for a long time with you doing

the talking, but your tutor may not say much.

Eventually your tutor may well respond in a more open and honest way, trusting

you and confiding in you as an adult who will not disappoint or walk out on

him/her. Conversations between you will grow and your tutor may share more

feelings with you. If this happens, rejoice in it, but remember that no relationship

is perfect and all relationships are defined in a variety of ways.

“My tutor never calls me”

Tutors love to receive phone calls, but seldom feel comfortable initiating them,

asking your tutor to share with you the good feeling that comes from getting a

phone call may help him/her to understand that adults also like to receive calls

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from people they like. Giving your tutor definite times to call may help, as can

enlisting the parents help in encouraging your tutor to call.

It is important not to stop calling with hopes that they will call you. It is important

to be patient, and be sure to enforce the behavior with positive remarks when

they call.

“My tutor doesn’t act the right way.”

Your tutor may come from a family with a different value system than yours. It is

not your responsibility or role to try to change your tutor. Your match is a learning

experience for both of you. If your tutor has never been to a play, they may not

know what behavior is expected of them.

Try to be content with the understanding that, through your example, your tutor

may come to respect values that are more positive. But this may be a long

process.

“My tutor doesn’t seem to need me.”

Every tutor should have someone to bring encouragement to them, but your tutor

may not respond in a way that makes you feel you are needed. Feeling needed

may be expressed by your tutor in small ways, and may be non-verbal.

In time you may learn to recognize small signs that your tutor needs you. This will

help you in being content with the knowledge that you are making a difference

and are a much-needed part of your tutor’s life.

“My tutor doesn’t make time for me.”

Your tutor may seem to have little time for you, but be assured that although

other activities and other family issues may appear to interfere, your tutor is

benefiting from the interest and involvement of a caring adult friend. You are the

person spending one-on-one time with your tutor; listening, sharing, and showing

your desire to be together on a regular basis.

No group activity, school event or family commitment can take the place of your

special relationship with your tutor. If you recognize the importance of what you

are doing, chances will increase that your tutor will recognize this too. And if all

else fails, speak to the Tutor Corps Coordinator so the issue can be addressed

and resolved with the tutor quickly.

“My tutor doesn’t seem interested.”

Keep in mind that we all demonstrate interest in different ways, and your tutor

may not know how to communicate that he/she is interested.

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Be sure you do not make assumptions based on your tutors behavior, and talk to

the Tutor Corps Coordinator if you have questions.

“My tutor doesn’t want to improve.”

Your tutor may have many adults eager to tell him/her what is wrong.

What your tutor will respond to is someone who will point out and praise

strengths. These strengths (assets) can range from the values that the tutor

holds to things he/she is good at doing. If your tutor knows that you are going to

be positive, give encouragement and compliments, and appreciate the unique

person that he/she is, change what will happen in very positive ways, and your

tutor will grow in confidence, competence and caring.

The most important thing to remember is that you will need to be patient and persistent

throughout the relationship! Your relationship may take time to develop, but if you are

able to manage your expectations, be open to surprises, and accepting of your tutor as

an individual, you are in for a fantastic ride! The Guadalupe Center is available to help

you through any of the above situations. Remember to seek help as necessary.

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THANK YOU!

As your match begins, and throughout the entire life of your match, we want to THANK

YOU! You are stepping forward on a journey where you don’t know exactly what will

happen, but you are doing this because you care for others and you know there is a

great reward in life in the relationships you develop.

We wish you all the best in your match with your tutor. Have great fun. Take pride in

your contribution to the happiness of your tutor. We will be with you, supporting you,

throughout your journey.

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Additional Information

Effective Relationships

Mentor skills to help develop the relationship Below are some communication tips for use in your match relationship.

Listening:

o One of the most overlooked aspects of communication is the act of

listening. Listening in the true sense means not talking, not lecturing,

and not advising.

o Many times, a few minutes spent really listening will defuse much of

the frustration of adult-youth communication.

Attitude:

o Another important aspect of communication is attitude. During

communication, youth often react not to what adults are saying, but the

way they say it. This is especially true with teenagers.

Humor:

o Humor is often the missing link in many adult/youth relationships.

Sometimes even the most intense discussions can use an injection of

humor. It can serve to relieve a particularly stressful moment and, at

the least, can indicate that things are still okay in the world.

Basic rules of communication

Make your communication positive

Be clear and specific

Recognize that individuals see things from different points of view

Be open and honest about your feelings

Accept your tutors feelings and try to understand them

Be supportive and accepting

Do not preach or lecture

Learn to listen

Maintain eye contact

Allow time for your tutor to talk without interruption; show you are interested in

what he or she has to say

Get feedback to be sure you are understood

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Listen for feeling tones as well as for words

Ask questions when you do not understand

Set examples rather than giving advice

Potential Scenarios

1. Your tutor tells you that he/she has a secret. They will only tell you if you

promise not to tell anyone else.

A mentor cannot promise to keep all secrets. Some secrets may be

harmless, such as information about a gift or surprise for someone.

However, if your tutor tells you that he/she is being harmed in some way,

or someone he/she knows is being harmed, you are required to inform a

Guadalupe Center employee immediately. In this scenario, it is best to tell

to tell your tutor that he/she can tell you anything, but some things are

serious enough that you may need to ask for some help on how to handle

it, so you cannot always promise that you won’t tell anyone.

2. You do something really special for your tutor, but he/she does not say

thank you. In fact, she seldom says “thank you” and neither does her

parent.

It can be frustrating when your tutor doesn’t thank you, but there are many

factors to consider. Has this been role modeled for your tutor? Is your tutor

too embarrassed to thank you? Is your tutor shy and uncomfortable

verbalizing her feelings? It is fine to remind your tutor when to say “thank

you”, but try not to take it personally if it takes some time for your tutor to

make it a habit. If you watch closely, chances are that your tutor is

showing appreciation through behavior more than words.

3. After several outings, you notice that your tutor has a problem with body

odor and cleanliness.

As difficult as it can be to discuss this topic, ignoring it is probably the

worst thing you can do because if you notice it, chances are that your

tutor’s friends have noticed it, too. Depending on your tutor’s age, you

could talk either to your tutor or your tutor’s parent. If you talk to your

tutor’s parent, an offer to help will be received better than a simple

statement about the tutor’s hygiene. If you are talking to the tutor,

approach the topic form an educational standpoint. Maybe your tutor isn’t

aware of the changes in his/her body as he/she gets older and they

haven’t developed a daily hygiene routine yet.

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4. You frequently find yourself talking to your tutor’s mother about her

personal problems such as her divorce, her job, or financial situation. You

feel that you need to help because if you don’t, nobody else will.

It is natural for you to feel the urge to help your tutor’s parent. Sometimes

you can do that just by spending a minute listening and sympathizing.

However, it is important to keep boundaries with the tutor’s parent and not

lose sight of who you are matched to. Taking on too many of the family

problems can quickly lead to burn-out and then you might not be able to

help your tutor at all. If you are concerned about your tutor’s parent,

encourage the parent to seek appropriate assistance from her support

system or from professionals who are better equipped to advise her.

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Notes