TSIT Kindle Ed.

8/2/2019 TSIT Kindle Ed.

1/47

Tears Shed

In

Time


2/47

By: M. T. DeStefano

For Jennifer Pesta, the women who brought

me back to life when all had seemed lost.

For Braelyn and Sidney, without you in my life,

this would all be meaningless.

Contents


3/47

Part IScars of the Heart

Loves Impurity

Smile in My

Dreams

One Last Breath

To Keep From

Dying

Same Old SongSublime

Think of the Days

In My Heart

Road Untraveled

My Heart Still

Burns

Another Day,

Another Way

Disappeared

Pieces of

My Soul

Water Will CarryYou Home

With Every Breath


4/47

Part II

Calling Out For

You

The Key

Withdrawn

Live Youre

Dreams

Cant Lose

This Smile

The LastWhat If

Our Life

Dearly

I Would Choose

You

Part IIIThe Journey Begins

Within Our Hearts

Through the

Window


5/47

In between these pages,

are the tears I've shed in time.

This is the story of a man,

who died before he came alive.

From my hand, before your eyes,

upon my whole life dine.


6/47

Part I


7/47

Scars of the HeartIt's hard awakening

with an empty story in your heart.

Wanting to write it,

yet not knowing where to start.

So I say;

a heart with no scars

is no heart at all.To understand true love

you must crumble and fall.

The scars may fade; memories stay

Tears of sadness; screams of rage

Sleepless nights; pain filled days

Still I try to hold it inside,

inside my tortured cage.


8/47

Loves ImpurityAnother cold day

leads to the burning in my heart.

While it eats my soul alive,

I realize this love never had a start.

Truth that binds meFrom the dark side of security

Brings me to the light

To see this loves impurities

Still the tears of my heart

Shatter on the floor

As the desperation I feelSlowly shuts the door


9/47

Hopes that were frozen

Stuck Inside my head

Will come back to kill me

As her destructive words said

She was still with him

We would never be

Love I thought was thereCould not be guaranteed

So I'll keep to myself

I'll try to hold my breath

Until this love comes true

Or until my last breath

Why must my love for youSlowly lead me to my death


10/47

Smile in My DreamsShaking in my arms

a quiver down my spine

my legs are getting weakI'm doing just fine

I wish it wasn't like this

Wish I didn't care at all

There is something about you,

that makes me take the fall.

I try to stand upFeelings got stronger

Wish I would feel

this way no longer

I find myself hurting

believing your lies

it hurts so badly

I can't even cry

The effect you had on me

Was beautiful it seems

It's crazy to know I smile in my dreams


11/47

Then I wake up and you're not by my side

For the very first time

My heart, for you, cried

One Last BreathAs the tears drop and shatter like glass,

I bleed the final words that slowly surpass.

The way I always felt when we were alone,

and how you made me stumble

into the unknown.

I gasped for one last breath,

but I choked on my heart.

I strived for one last taste

as we finally fell apart.

With every word I ever wasted

on your behalf,

I hoped you start to choke

on every single laugh.

As I tried to find your picture

so I could look into your eyes,

to make you feel my pain

one last time.


12/47

To Keep From DyingWho are you and who am I?

Why did we ever give this a try?

I'm myself and you are you

where does this pain come from

that we go through?

You gave your heart and you stole mine

did we jump into this blind?We loved each other every day

so why are you still,

So far away?

We thought our time was always good

didnt turn out the way it should

Now you're with him, you left me here

this was always something I feared

Now it's over, I stopped crying

so I'll stay busy to keep from dying


13/47

Same Old SongShe calls you tonight

She knows somethings wrong

you won't tell heryour heart keeps singing

the same old song

She knows you better

she knew that you were down

you insist on holding back

Self pit in which you drown

Her heart won't change

the way she doesn't feel

you knew your heart

would take time to heal

You try not to let her see you hurt

you already knew

She'd leave your heart in the dirt

No matter how she feels

youll continue to see


14/47

your love for her

will always be

SublimeYou've been gone now, for a long time

I feel as if I never knew you at all

Hopefully I'm jumping the gun

And one day you will call

Even if I want to move on

And get my life on track

I know it's hard to doLove is holding me back

So when I close my eyes

All I see is you

Memories still haunt me

Ones I wish I never knew

When I lose myselfI can't hide from the truth

The love that really killed me

Pushed me away from you


15/47

In my dreams you haunt

My love for you won't let me be

When you stare into my eyes

The pain inside won't set me free

When we look back on the memoriesour best moments make me cry

thats why I hope you understand

we would be better if you try

But if I could catch a falling star

and change the course of time

I'd mend our broken heartsso the rest would stay sublime


16/47

Think of the DaysDedicated to a friend

Today I dropped to my knees

from the trouble of breathing

but it wasn't my health

it was the thought of you leaving

There's nothing they can say

To make these feelings go away

As soon as they start to

Something reminds me of you

That brings me to tears

So full of pain

That I'll feel it for years

Then I think of the days

all the times we shared together

it causes the slightest thing

even the touch from a feather

to bring me back to the thoughts

The anger

the hate

the love


17/47

the fears

But no matter what

I can't stop these tears

In My HeartI had forgotten everything

All the good things in my soul

Than you came into my life

You made me feel whole

You always knew the right thing

You showed me how to giveYou finally opened up my eyes

You showed me how to live

The sweet song of your voice

Will echo forever inside of my head

For all the years to come

Ill think about words Id left unsaidThe words I wished Id said to you

I offer up to you now

I pray that one day maybe


18/47

I could be with you somehow

I could not have grown this way alone

You made my life mean something

And I know that youre the one

That recalled my life from nothing

So I try to be strong

I try to numb the pain

I try to tell myself

Youre coming back today

Even though I know

That you are never coming home

I know you are looking down on me

So Ill never be alone

But now youve disappeared

Forever you are gone

Ill never forget your love


19/47

because in my heart

your soul lives on

Road UntraveledAnother morning comes

As the life I pretend

Becomes the life I keep

The truth of who I am

Is buried deep inside

It remains a road untraveled

For everyone but I

And the mask that hides

The longing in my eyes

Can only do so much

With a secret this hard to hide

Even when hiddenAnd locked away

There are still

Times when I cry


20/47

Then I stop

Ask myself "Why?"

My Heart Still BurnsWhen you look at me

what do you see?A man thats broken?

A man thats free?

Why is it so hard to be myself?

It seems even now

I've lost the key

to be myself, so unlike you

why is this so hard to do?

You'll never understand

What I've been through

Even though

These words are true

I've been through more pain

Than most will ever know

They say time heals wounds

It's going to slow


21/47

Every day that these pieces don't fit

my heart takes,

another hit

How many more can I take?I can't tell you

but it will take much more

before I break.

Another Day, Another WayWith the breath of the sun

we find another dayanother chance to love again

to live life another way

Before you I stood

I dropped to me knees

crying to the sky

"Please set me free."

The wolf lies inside

in the depths of the dark


22/47

my strength has gone out

as quick as a spark

The face in the mirror

Eyes stare me down

He knows who I am

as I start to drown

Within those eyes

I can read the painVisions of dreams

it begins the same


23/47

Desires to be free

as tears fill my eyes

how have I grown

into the person I despise

DisappearedLabel me as missing

Ill never be found

Im running far away

I wont make a soundYoull see my letter

My reflection in your head

Youll wonder how Im doing

If Im better off dead


24/47

Youll never know who I am

I will never reappear

Youll know me as the one

The one that disappeared

Pieces of My SoulTime stands still

your eyes crystalize

I fall into a trance

and then I realize

Pieces of my soul

have shattered on the floor

they begin to form together

when you open up the door


25/47

I was betrayed by confusion

That was left upon your face

Your footsteps disappear

Without a traceNow Im broken and blinded

By overwhelming fear

It now becomes reality

With the drop of the first tear

You will be gone

As morning light hits my cheek

It seems even now

Ive gone farther from my peek

Its farther to fall

As I climb higher

Now my heart


26/47

Will burn with the fire

I will never be free

So this is the last time

These innocent eyes see

Water Will Carry You HomeRaindrops fall like tears from the sky

they dampen my paper

they darken my eyes

And youre,

youre so cold, so lost, so far away

you run for the hills and live for the day

But you,

you cannot race time and win

you cannot call love a sin


27/47

Now youre so destroyed,

so lost, and so afraid, but

you cannot fight these tears

Cause you are no stranger to fears

There can be no chorus for songs of the sea

you curse what you done

you damn what might be

but the water will carry you home

With Every BreathWhen theres nothing to lean on

nothing will support you

what do you fall onwhen all you have are dreams

that in a few simple words

there could be no more screams


28/47

Alone and empty

In a dark silent world

With everything you feel

Made up inside your mindKilling yourself with every breath

Lending out your heart

Hoping it wont lead to death


29/47

Part II

Calling Out For YouLast night I fell into a world I never wanted to leave

You were there with me and everything was perfect


30/47

You whispered to me that I'd never have to worry

But theres a problem in having something with you

Please don't take my heart as something you can use

While I tremble at your words knowing what I could lose

You assured me

That I would be yours

You would be mine

Nothing could come between what we had

I'll take a leap of faith and land in your arms

If you'll just catch me as I fall

Please answer my hearts call

'Cause Im calling out for you to be here with me

I'm calling out to you so that we can find a way

A way to make every breath a moment in each others eyes

Than everything fades and I'm back to reality


31/47

I'm left with only thoughts of what could have been

To me letting you go would be a regretful sin

So I'll live everyday trying to be a better manDreaming that here, you've taken my hand

To walk me down this road through my misery

Please help me to get to the other side

To watch the sunset with you on my arm

Can someone tell me, where is the harm

In dreaming of you

The KeyThese shattered pieces lie like photos

spread across my bedroom floor

Memories flood my existence

as I try to find love once more


32/47

So let me know if its a burden

For you to hold the key

If thats the way it is

Please try and set me freeBut you should know

Id live and die a million lives for you

If for just one moment we could be

Now Im left with one last question,

Did you know hold the key?

WithdrawnAs we make it through these nights

With nothing but our dreamsWe soon begin to realize

Nothing is ever what it seems

Our questions without answers

Like a soul without its mate


33/47

Makes me start to wonder

Can anyone relate,

To these problems I await?

Can you hear these cries,

As I reach out for your hand?

Fighting back these tears

Is something I can't stand

You think you are pushing

Me away until I'm gone

If that was ever an issueWouldn't I already have withdrawn?

I need you to listen

To every silent word I speak

Theres something in this message

That leaves me feeling weak


34/47

If you still dont understand

What I am trying to say

In my final wordsThese feelings I'll convey

My heart is on my sleeve

I hope you know how I feel

Its always been you

That has forced me to reveal

My head over my heel

Live Your DreamsThe first time I saw your smile

My heart began to melt

Words cannot explain

The feelings that I feltIts amazing how your smile

Can touch me at my core

I wasnt ready to walk this path

Now its as if I could sore


35/47

I thought this life would be

much harder than it seems

doing everything I can

to ensure you live your dreamsand the courage I provide

will help you to stand

while doubt can mimic properties

being trapped by quicksand

The option of walking away

Will never cross my mindmy love for you is too strong

for me to ever leave you behind

Cant Lose This SmileIts the way I feel

When we first touched

It seems these feelings

Have become so much

I fell for you so easy

And I never tried to stand

Darkness turns to light

Every time I hold your hand


36/47

Its crazy to think

That for the first time

My heart will not cry

I just cant lose this smileCause you didnt pass me by

I knew from our first moment

that one day wed be in love

its like I had my angel

Sent to me from above

Ill cherish every moment

for youre the best thing in my life

the day cant come fast enough

when you become my wife

The Last What IfWhat if we fell in love?

Our love would last forever

What if this was our last day?

We would spend our time together

What if I never said yes?


37/47

Id spend my whole life hoping

What if we hit speed bumps?

We wont have trouble coping

What if we have all girls?Id protect them with my life

What if they grow up too fast?

Ill prepare to give a lucky man a wife

What if time starts to fly by?

Ill try to make it slow up

What if this is the last What if?Ill know its time to wake up

Our LifeEveryone is looking

for someone to fill the hole

we think,

but dont talk much about it

until we start to lose control


38/47

So we started off as friends

I know it made our love strong

For some time we kept our feelings hidden

But when it came time to revealWe didnt wait too long

Something inside my heart

Recognized fate all along

It was hard to wrap my mind around

Our love as a never ending song

So how do you its love?

I cant tell you;

though I know well last forever


39/47

How do youfeel when youre in love?

Its impossible to explain;

though its something we share together

So how do you know its forever?

Every time I look into your eyes

I see our life together

DearlyIve become a part of

a life I did not create

It seems as if

this was always my fate

Now I have to grow

Into a man of example

This is only what I hope

to be considered a sample


40/47

of the life to come

of the challenges ill face

of the time that I find

my destined place

She continues to teach me

When I thought Id be teaching

I try to earn her approval

but sometimes I feel Im reaching

to be more than I need to be

When I love her dearlyand she loves me for me

That is all Ill ever need this to be

I Would Choose YouFeelings I get

when I look into your eyes

like the sun rising

now touching the sky

Warmth that it brings

only love can create


41/47

Proving our love

to be something great

When I feel your touch

my hair starts to rise

like the wind on your skin

on the coldest of days

If I had to choose

to keep feeling this way

Id still choose you

every single day


42/47

Part III

The Journey BeginsSometimes in life

Things begin to change

how can someone feel that


43/47

Dreams are out of range?

They cling to regrets

In colors of black and white

Missing the big pictureLife taking flight

Spreading its wings

The journey has begun

How is it even possible

That one could ever want to run

Away from their creation?Youre so beautiful and pure

in life theres nothing better

youre the ultimate cure

Within Our HeartsFeeling anxious, hands starting to shake

Dont know how much more I can take

Getting nervous, chest is getting tight


44/47

Hard to debate between wrong and right

Mind is clouded, Im losing all control

This feeling inside has brightened my soul

Thought it would be hard to fill these spacesThats when I looked at my girls faces

Never thought I was capable of feeling this way

Loving to watch my little girls play

Hope they dont grow up too fast

I want their time with us to last

I just hope theyre in no hurryLife passes so fast, it seems so blurry

I cant bear to see them leave us here

Even though,

Within our hearts theyll always be near

Through the Window


45/47

When I first held you

I looked into your eyes

Like looking through a window

Into a different worldIts amazing when you see life

In a different light

No matter where this roads leads

For you, I will always fight

You make me feel so selfless

since youve entered my lifeI just hope that one day you

will be privileged enough

to feel what I feel too


46/47

Cause nothing can compare

when your beauty sends me

through that open window to

a bright new worldwhen my true test begins

being the best father I can

This journey of new life

thebest gift Ive ever had

until you look me in the eye

and say


47/47

I love you dad

TSIT Kindle Ed.

Documents

Transcript of TSIT Kindle Ed.