Truyen Ngan English Song Ngu

8/22/2019 Truyen Ngan English Song Ngu

1/38

1 vi truyn ngn song ngThe best time for apples

It was the first lesson after the summer holidays at a small school. The lesson was about theseasons of the year, the teacher said:

They are Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. In Spring, it is warn and everything begins togrow. In Summer it is hot and there are many flowers in the fields and gardens. In Autumn thereare many vegetables and much fruit. Everybody likes to eat fruit. In Winter it is cold and it oftenrains. Sometimes there is snow on the ground.

Here the teacher stopped and looked at one of the pupils.

Stop talking, Tom, he said. When is the best time for apples?

It is when the farmer is not at home and there is no dog in the garden. Answered Tom.

Ma tt nht cho to

ang trong gi hc u tin sau k ngh h ti mt ngi trng nh. Bi hc ni v cc matrong nm. C gio ging:

- Mi nm c bn ma, l: ma xun, ma h, ma thu v ma ng. Ma xun tri m pv mun loi ny n sinh si. Ma h tri nng nc, c rt nhiu rau v qu, ai cng thch n hoaqu. Ma ng tri lnh v thng c ma, i khi cn c tuyt ri trn mt t.

Ging n y, c gio nhn mt hc sinh nhc nh ri hi:

- Tom, khng ni chuyn na. Vo ma no to tt nht h?

- Ma to tt nht l.l khi ng ch vn khng c nh v cng khng c ch ngai vn .

THE CARJACKING

An elderly woman did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act ofleaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun, and proceeded toscream at them at the top of her voice,

I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!

The four men didnt wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad. The woman,somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags in the back of the car and get into thedrivers seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and

tried, to no avail/

And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or fivespaces father down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.The sergeant, to whom she told the story, nearly tore himself in two the other end of the counter,where four pale males were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white,less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

1


2/38

MT V CP XE HI

Mt b c i mua sm xong, quay tr li ni xe t ca mnh. C thy bn g n ng angnh b i bng chic xe ca c. C nh ri ti hng, rt khu song ngn ra, ti gn v gng htsc ht ln:

-Ti c mt khu sng trong tay v ti bit cch dng n! Hy ra khi chic xe, cn b!Bn g n ng khng i li mi ti ln th hai m vi v ra khi xe v chy nh in. B crun ry, ti t ti hng pha sau xe v vo ch li. V qu lp cp, b c khng th cm c chakha vo kha. B th i, th li nhng vn chng ch g.

V ri b cng hiu ra nguyn do. Vi pht sau, b thy xe ca mnh sau khang bn nnm ch xe. B cht ti ca mnh ln xe v li ti n cng an gn nht.

V trung s, ngi m nghe b thut li cu chuyn, gn nh ci v bng v a tay ch v phacui dy bn tip tn, ni bn ngi n ng mt xanh mt ang trnh bo v v cp xe do mt

b lo in c t li nh sau: trng, thp hn nm feet, eo knh, tc bc, xon v cm mt

khu sng lc ln.Khng thy c v tn cng no nh th c lu trong h s.

The magician & the parrot

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. He has a different audience eachweek, so he allowed himself to perform the same act over and over again. There was only one

problem: The captains parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how themagician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of every show.Look, thats not the same hat!

Now hes hiding the flowers under the table!

Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?

The magician was furious but couldnt do anything about it. After all, it was the captains parrot.One day the unthinkable happened: The ship had an accident and sank! The magician foundhimself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot of course!They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a single word. This went on for days.

After a week the parrot finally broke the silence and said, Ok, I give up, Whered you hide theboat?

o thut gia v con vt

Mt o thut gia lm vic trn mt con tu ch cc hnh khch i du ngon trong vng binCaribbean. Mi tun anh ta li c mt lt khn gi khc, bi vy anh ta t cho php mnh cdin i din li mt tr. Ch c mt vn duy nht l: con vt ca vin thuyn trng xem cctr din hng tun v bt u hiu cch m nh o thut din tr.Mi khi n hiu ra, n li bt u go ln khi mn din cha kt thc:

-Hy nhn xem, khng phi l chic m lc ny!-Lc ny anh ta ang giu nhng bng hoa di bn !

2


3/38

-Ny, ti sao tt c cc qun bi u c hnh con t pch vy?

Anh ta rt bc mnh nhng khng th lm g con vt. V suy cho cng, n l con vt ca thuyntrng.

Mt hm, chuyn cha tng c ngh ti xy ra: Con tu gp nn v chm! o thut gia thymnh ang lnh nh gia i dng trn mt vn g, v tt nhin l con vt cng c !H ging mt nhn nhau mt cch cm ght, nhng khng ni vi nhau mt li no. iu din ra trong nhiu ngy,

Sau mt tun con vt ph v s im lng v ni:

- Thi c, ti thua ri y. Anh giu con tu u vy?

Like a gentleman?

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them totheir aunts house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him,

Now heres a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, butremember to do it like a gentleman,

Like a gentleman? Dick asked. How do gentleman do it?

They always give the bigger piece to the other person, answered his aunt at once.

Oh, said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he tool the cake to his sister andsaid to her,Cut this cake in half. Catherine.

Nh mt ngi lch s?

Dick ln by tui v em gi Catherine ca n ln nm. Mt hm, m ca chng a chng tichi nh d trong khi b i ra thnh ph ln mua t qun o mi.L tr chi c mt gi ng h cho n lc bn ri th ngi d dt Dick vo trong bp.

Ch a cho n mt ci bnh ngt rt p v mt con dao ri bo:

Ny, dao y Dick. Hy ct chic bnh ny lm hai ri a mt phn cho em chu. Nhng nhl phi lm vic ny nh mt ngi lch s y nh.

Nh mt ngi lch s ? Vy nh ngi lch s th phi lm th no c?H lun a ming to hn cho ngi kia,d n tr li ngay lp tc.

, th ? Dick phn ng. Cu ta suy ngh v chuyn ny trong vng vi giy. Ri cu ta mangchic bnh a cho em ri ni:

Hy ct chic bnh ny lm hai i, Catherine.

The office rules

Bill Jenkins worked in a big office in the city, and generally he used to go to the barbers during

working hours to have his hair cut, although this was against the rules: clerks had to have theirhair cut in their own time.

3


4/38

While Bill was at the barbers one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have hisown hair cut. Bill saw him and tried to hide his face, but the manager came and sat beside him, sohe soon recognized him.

Hullo, Jenkins, the manager said. I see that you are having your hair cut in office time,

Yes, sir, I am, admitted Bill calmly. You see, sir, it grows in office time.

Not all of it, said the manager of the office at once. Some of it grows in your own time.

Yes, sir, thats quite true answered Bill politely, but Im not having it all cut off.

Ni quy c quan

Bill Jenkins lm vic ti mt c quan ln trong thnh ph, v thng th anh chng hay i ht tctrong gi lm vic. Mc d iu ny tri vi ni quy c quan: cc nhn vin phi ct tc trongthi gian ring ca mnh.

Mt hm, trong khi Bill ang trong tim ht tc th ng gim c c quan cng v tnh vo ct tc. Bill trng thy ng ta v c giu mt i, nhng ng ta ti ngi cnh v nhanh chngnhn ra anh chng.

, cho Jenkins. Ti thy l anh ang ht tc trong gi lm vic y nh!, ng gim c ni.Vng, tha ng. Nhng nh ng bit y, tc cng mc di trong gi lm vic . Bill bnh tnhth nhn.

Nhng cng khng phi tt c. Cng c nhng phn tc ch mc trong lc rnh ri m thi.ng gim c ni ngay.

D tha ng iu rt ng nhng m ti cng u c ht ht tc i u . Bill lch s pli.

Gifts for mother

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they wereable to give their elderly mother.

The first son said: "I built a big house for our mother

The second son said: "I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver".

The third son said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she cant seevery well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the churchspent twelve years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and the verse and the parrotrecites it".

Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.

William, she wrote, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to cleanthe whole house".

Arnold, she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use theMercedes. That driver is so rude, he is a pain!

"But David, she said, "the chicken was delicious

4


5/38

Cc mn qu tng m

Ba ngi con trai ri gia nh ra i lp nghip v u thnh t. H bn vi nhau v nhng mnqu m h c th dnh tng cho ngi m gi ca mnh.

Ngi con trng ni: "Anh s xy cho m chng ta mt ngi nh ln".

Ngi con th hai ni: "Cn em s gi cho m mt chic Mercedes v mt ti x".Ngi con th ba ni: "Cc anh c cn nh l m chng ta thch c Kinh thnh nh th nokhng. M by gi mt m khng c tt lm. Bi vy em s gi cho m mt con vt c bit,n c th c thuc lng ton b Thnh kinh. Nhng ngi cao tui nh th mt mihai nm dy n. M ch cn nu tn chng mc l con vt s c cho m nghe".

Sau khng lu, ngi m gi cho h nhng bc th cm n nh sau:

"William, b vit, ta nh con xy qu rng. M ch mi mt phng, nhng phi lau dn cngi nh".

"Arnold, m qu gi i du lch. M gn nh nh sut ngy nn rt him khi m dng chicMercedes. G ti x rt th l, hn l mt ni kh tm ca m!

Nhng David, con g th rt ngon".

I went out in my slippers

Len and Jim worked for the same company. One day, Len lent Jim 20 dollars, but then Jim lefthis job and went to work in another town without paying Len back his 20 dollars.Len did not see Jim for a year, and then he heard from another friend that Jim was in town andstaying at the central hotel, so he went to see him there late in the evening.

He found out the number of Jims room from the clerk at the desk downstairs and went up to findhim. When he got to the room, he saw Jims shoes outside the door, waiting to be cleaned.Well, he must be in, he thought, and knocked at the door.

There was no answer.

He knocked again. Then he said,

I know youre in, Jim. Your shoes are out here.

I went out in my slippers, answered a voice from inside the room.

Ti mang dp i ra ngoi ri.

Len v Jim cng lm vic cho mt cng ty. Mt hm Len cho Jim vay 20 la, nhng sau Jimb vic v i lm mt th trn khc m khng tr 20 la cho Len.Len khng gp Jim trong mt nm tri, v anh nghe mt ngi bn ni l Jim ang c mt trongth trn v ti khch sn trung tm, do anh ti gp Jim vo chiu ti hm .Anh tm c s phng ca Jim l nh ngi tip tn di lu v ln lu tm Jim. Khi ti phng,anh thy i giy ca Jim ngoi ca ang ch c nh bng.Chc hn anh ta phi c trong phng. Len ngh thm v g ca.Khng c ting tr li.

Anh li g ca ln na ri ni: Ti bit cu trong phng, Jim . i giy ca cu ngai ny m.

5


6/38

Ti mang dp i ra ngai ri. Cu tr li t trong phng vng ra.

What a woman!!!

Three blonde guys are stranded on one side of a wide river and dont know how to get across.

The first blonde guy prays to God to make him smart enough to think of a way to cross the river.God turns hom into a brown-haired man, and he swam across.

The second blonde guy prays to God to make him even smarter, so he can think of a better way tocross the river. God turns him into a red-haired man, so he builded a boat and rows across.

Th mi l ph n

Ba g n ng tc vng b mc cn ti b ca mt con sng rng v khng bit lm th no cth i qua.

G tc vng th nht cu Cha xin cho hn thng minh ngh c cch qua sng. Cha tribin anh ta thnh ngi n ng tc nu, v anh ta bi qua.

G tc vng th hai cu cha xin cho hn thng minh hn c th ngh ra mt cch tt hn qua sng. Cha tri bin anh ta thnh mt ngi n ng tc , bi vy anh ta ng mt conthuyn v cho.

Nothing but the truth- S tht vn l s tht

David Casstevents of the Dallas Morning News tells a story about Frank Szymanski, a Notre

Dame center in the 1940s, who had been called as a witness in a civil suit at South Bend.Are you on the Notre Dame football team this year? the judge asked.

Yes,Your Honor.

What position?

Center, Your Honor.

How good a center?

Szymanski squirmed in his seat, but said firmly:

Sir, Im the best center Notre Dame has ever had.

Coach Frank Leahy, who was in the courtroom, was surprise. Szymanski always had been modestand unassuming. So when the proceedings were over, he took Szymsnski aside and asked why hehad made such a statement. Szymanski blushed.

I hated to do it, Coach, he said.But, after all, I was under oath.

-David Casstevent

S tht vn l s tht

Nh bo David Casstevents ca t Tin bui sng Dallas k li cu chuyn v Frank Szymanski,mt trung phong ca i Notre Dame vo nhng nm 1940, ngi c gi n ta n vi t

cch l nhn chng ca mt v n dn s xy ra ti South Bend.Anh c phi l thnh vin ca i bng Notre Dame nm nay khng? V quan ta hi.

6


7/38

Vng ,tha qi ta.

Anh chi v tr no?

Tha qi ta, v tr trung phong.

Anh chi nh th no?

Szymanski t ra hi lng tng, nhng ri anh tr li mt cch mnh m:Tha ta, ti l trung phong gii nht ca Notre Dame t trc n gi.

Hun luyn vin Frank Leahy cng c mt trong phin ta hm y ly lm ngc nhin vSzymanski lun l ngi rt khim tn v khng bao gi t cao mnh. V th, khi phin ta ktthc, Frank n bn cnh Szymanski v hi ti sao anh li tuyn b mt cu nh vy. Szymanski

bi ri tr li:

Ti khng thch phi tuyn b nh th, tha Hun luyn vin. Nhng xt cho cng, ti tuynth l ch ni tht.

-David Casstevents

The cookie thief - Tn trm bnh quy

The English sentences are in the pictures, so i only post the Vietnamese translation.

1 .Mt ph n tr tui ang ng xp hng ch i n chuyn bay ca c ta trong nhiu gi ngng.

[b]2. C ta quyt nh i mua mt cun sch c git thi gian. C ta cng mua 1 bch bnhquy n na

7


8/38

3.C ta ngi fng Vip room trong sn bay ngh ngi v c sch th gin

4. Bn cnh ci gh l ch bch bnh wi, v c 1 ngi n ng ngi k bn c ta, anh ta angngi c tp ch.

5. Khi c kia ly 1 ci bnh n, th ngi anh kia cng ly n 1 ci. C ta cm thy tht bc mnhnhng ko ni ra. Ngh trong u : "ng l k cc ! Nu ta m ang bc th c l m cho 1 ciy ri y nh"

8


9/38

6. V khi c ta n ci tp theo, th ci anh n cng n 1 ci. C ny bc lm ri nhng ko mungy chuyn

7. n lc ch cn 1 ci bnh cui cng, c ta ngh : "ah ... ci anh ny s lm g y, ng niginh n vi mnh nhe ?" Sau , anh ta, cm ci bnh cui cng ln, b lm i v a cho c y.

8. , qu ng lm ri nh, c gi bc mnh ht chu ni. Nn ng dy, ng sch ci rm, gind b i.

9


10/38

9. Lt sau, khi yn v trn my bay, c ta tm kim trong bp ly knh mt eo, v tht ngcnhin, ci ti bnh ca c y vn cn nguyn trong ti, cha m ra, cha n lun.

10. n lc ny c gi cm thy rt xu h v nhn ra rng : C ta sai ... Th ra ny gi ton

ngi n bnh ca ngi ta ko :shy:11. Ngi n ng chia s bnh cho c y, m ko cm thy tc gin g !!!

12. ... trong khi c ta, li gin d, v ko h c suy ngh s chia s ci bnh vi anh ta. Nhngmi chuyn cng ri, ko cn c hi gii thch v xin li ngi ta na, haizzz

[b]Cu chuyn ny mun ni ln vi ngha, 4 iu ko bao gi tr li c:

10


11/38

Hn nm ri th kh kim li c

Li ni ra cng kh thu li

C hi mt, kh c c hi tt khc

11


12/38

And the last thing, thi gian tri wa th kh m tr ngc li.

A matter of punctuation

An English professior wrote the words, Woman withour her man is nothing on the blackboardand directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: Woman, without her man, is nothing.The women wrote: Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

S dc dc ca cch chm cu

Mt gio s ting Anh vit nhng t n b khng c ngi n ng ca mnh th khng l gc ln bng v hng dn sinh vin ca mnh chm cu mt cch chnh xc.

Cc sinh vin nam vit: n b, nu khng c n ng, khng l g c.

Cc sinh vin n vit: n b! Nu khng c n ng khng l g c.

Poor people12


13/38

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the expresspurpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on thefarm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the fatherasked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of ourgarden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and theyhave the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece ofland to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, butthey serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, theyhave friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanksfor everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help them refresh their perspective andappreciation."Life is too short and friends are too few."

Ngi ngho

Mt ngy kia, mt ngi b cng gia nh giu c ca ng ta dn a con trai mnh i du lch n

mt t nc vi mc ch l cho con trai mnh thy, ni ngi ta sng ngho kh ra sao.H mt ngy mt m trong nng tri ca mt gia nh rt ngho kh. Khi kt thc chuyn i,ngi b hi con mnh: "Con thy chuyn i nh th no?"

"Rt tt, tha b!"

Ngc nhin trc cu tr li ca a con, ngi b hi li: "Con c nhn thy nhng ngi sng ngho kh n th no khng?"

"Vng, c!"

"Vy con hc c nhng g?"

Cu con trai tr li: "Con nhn thy chng ta nui mt con ch, h c bn con. Chng ta c mtci h rng n gia khu vn, h c mt dng sui nh khng c ni kt thc. Chng ta c

13


14/38

nhng bng n thp sng khu vn, h c nhng v sao. Sn trong nh chng ta ko di ra tnn sn trc, h c c mt chn tri.

Khi cu con trai dt li, ngi cha nn lng - khng ni c g.

Cu b ni tip: "Cm n b cho con thy chng ta ngho kh n th no!"

C phi s tht l tt c mi th ph thuc vo cch bn nhn thy chng? Nu bn c tnh yu,bn b, gia nh, sc kho, s hi hc v mt thi lc quan hng v cuc sng, bn c ttc mi th!

Whenever a Man Lies

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into theriver. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water andreappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and thewoodcutter went home happily.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell intothe river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "OhLord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" theLord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no'

to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her. Youwillthirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. ButLord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I saidyes this time."

The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason !!

Whenever a Man Lies 2

Khi n ng ni diNgy n, mt ngi tiu phu lo n mt nhnh cy ln cha ra dng sng. Chng may ng nh

14


15/38

ri cy ba xung ln nc su thm. ng khc v tic n Bt hin ra, hi l do. Nghe xong,t nhin Bt lao xung sng, ri ni ln vi mt cy ba bng Vng trong tay:- Phi ci ny ca ngi?- Tha Bt khng phi.Thm mt ln ln hp na, Bt li ni ln vi cy ba bng Bc, vn khng phi. Ln th ba, Bt

ni vi cy ba bng st, ngi tiu phu hn h: " mi l cy ba ca con".

Xc ng vi s chn tht ca ngi n ng, Bt cho ng c hai cy ba Vng, Bc. Vi ngysau, ngi tiu phu cng b v i do ven sng. Khng may b v lt tm xung sng. Bt lihin ra cu gip ngi n ng khc st tic v. Bt ni ln vi nng Jennifer Lopez:- Phi y l v ngi?- D ng ri!- Ny ngi ch x gt ta.- Tha Bt cho con xin li. Nu con tr li khng phi, Bt li em ln nng Catherine Zeta

Jones, nu con li ni khng phi, Bt s em ln v con v con nhn, Bt s cho con c Zones vLopez. V th, con phi gt Bt ngay t ln u, ch khng con ch cn c nc ph ht cnhrng ny mi nui c c ba v.

Bi hc: n ng thng ni di v nhng l do ht sc chn thc, hon ton c th hiu c!

A Sense of GeeseWhen you see geese flying along in V formation, you might consider what science hasdiscovered as to why they fly that way . As each bird flaps its wings , it creates an uplift for the

bird immediately following. By flying in V formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent

greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are goingmore quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go italone- and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird infront.

If we has as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headedthe same way we are.When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.

It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south.Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.What messages do we give when we honk behind ?

Finally- and this is important - when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of

formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection.They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch

15


16/38

out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

If we have the sense of a geese, we will stand by each other like that.

Bi hc t n ngng

Khi nhn n ngng lun to thnh hnh ch V mi khi bay cng nhau, bn c th s thc mcrng khoa hc khm ph ra iu g gii thch ti sao chng li bay vi i hnh nh vy.Khi mt con ngng vy cnh, n s to ra mt lc nng cao con ngng bay pha sau n. Khi baytheo i hnh ch V nh th, c n s c tip thm t nht 71% sc mnh hn l khi tngcon bay ring l.

Nhng ai bit cng nhau chia s mc tiu chung v c tinh thn on kt th s n ch nhanhchng v d dng hn v h ang i cng hng vi nhng ngi xung quanh.Khi mt con ngng bay lch i hnh, n s phi mt mnh chng chi vi sc cn ca gi, v n

s nhanh chng tr v ng v tr nhn lc nng t con pha trc.Nu chng ra hiu c ngha ny, chng ta s lun gi vng i hnh vi nhng ai i cnghng vi chng ta.Khi con ngng dn u ui sc, n s quay tr li pha sau i hnh nhng ch cho con khcdn u.Cng nh loi ngng, con ngi cn phi lun phin nhau thc hin nhng cng vic i hi sn lc cao.

Nhng con pha sau s pht ra ting ku nhm khuyn khch nhng con pha trc gi vng tc.

Khi bn li v pha sau, bn s gi nhng thng ip g cho ngi khc?

iu cui cng nhng v cng quan trng l khi mt con ngng b m hoc b bn trng thng,khng theo kp n, hai con khc s lp tc tch khi i hnh du n xung t gip v bov n. Chng s li vi con ngng b thng cho ti khi no n c th bay c. V nu conngng cht, hai con ngng kia s bay mt mnh hoc gia nhp vi n ngng khc, bt kpn ca mnh.

Mistake?A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if she could see her license.She replied in a huff. I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and thentoday you expect me to show it to you.Li g?Mt s quan cnh st dng mt c gi tc vng v vt qu tc cho php v hi c mt cch rtlch s rng liu anh c th xem bng li ca c. C nng tr li mt cch ht sc gin d:Ti mong rng cc anh c th kt hp lm vic cng nhau. Mi ngy hm qua cc anh thu bngli ca ti v hm nay anh hy vng ti trnh n cho anh.

SecretA man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life.

16


17/38

My wife makes all the small decisions, he explained. and I make all the big ones, so we neverinterfere in each others business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complainsand no arguments.That sounds reasonable, answered his friend sympathetically, And what sort of decisions doesyour wife make?

Well answered the man. she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, whatfurniture we have, where we go for your holidays, and things like that.His friend was surprised. Oh! he said And what do you consider important decisions then?Well answered the man, I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increaseour help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that.B QuytMt ngi n ng tit l vi bn b mt cuc sng v chng thai mi ca mnh.-V ti quyt inh nhng vic nh, cn ti quyt nh nhng vic ln, nn chng ti chng baogi lm phin ti cng vic ca nhau v cng khng bao gi thy bc mnh v nhau c. Chng ti

khng h phn nn hay ci nhau bao gi. ng ta tm s.-Nghe c v c y! ngi bn tn thng. Th v anh quyt nh nhng vic g no?- th b y quyt nh xem ti phi xin lm vic g, chng ti sng u, s mua nhng cg, i ngh u, v i loi l nhng vic nh th, ngi n ng tr li.-Vy ? Th th anh cho nhng vic g l quan trng? ngi bn ngc nhin hi.-Th ti quyt nh nhng vic nh ai s l th tng, liu chng ta c nn tng cng gip nhng nc ngho hay khng, chng ta phi lm g vi vn bom ht nhn, v nhng vic iloi nh th, ngi n ng tr li.

Little Johnny BoyA new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!.After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.The teacher said, Do you think youre stupid, Little Johnny?No, maam but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself

B Johnny

Mt gio vin mi vo ngh ang th p dng mn tm l ca mnh. C bt u bi ging bng

cch ni:Em no ngh rng mnh ngu ngc th hy ng ln!Mt vi pht sau, b Johnny ng dy.Em ngh rng em ngu ngc h, Johnny, c gio hi.Khng, tha c, nhng em khng thch phi nhn thy c ng mi mt mnh.

The arm was guilty

A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolensome pears from a basket, outside a grocers. The solicitor said to the judge:It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with his right arm; his right arm is guilty, but not hehimself; you can not punish the whole body because one of its limbs is guilty.

17


18/38

You are quite right, answered the judge, so I sentence the prisoners right arm to six days.Now the prisoner will go to prison with his arm if he likes.Everybody at court began to laugh; but people laughed still more when they saw the prisonerunscrew his right arm (it was a wooden arm) He then gave it to the judge, saying: Here is myguilty arm, Sir I dont wish to go to prison with it.

Cnh tay c tiMt ngi n ng b a ra hu ta. Nhn chng ni rng, hm trc b co ly trm qu ltrong mt ci r bn ngoi tim thc phm. Lut s ni vi quan ta: ng l tn ny c ly l bng tay phi; tay phi ca hn phm ti, cn hn th khng c ti;ngi khng th trng pht c c th ca hn ch v mt chn hay mt tay ca hn phm ti.Ngi ni hon ton ng, vy th ti kt n cnh tay phi ca b co su ngy giam gi. By gith tn t ny s khng phi vo t vi cnh tay phi nu hn thch vy, quan ta phn.Mi ngi c mt trong phin ta bt u ci m ; nhng h cn ci to hn khi thy t thoc ni cnh tay phi ca hn ra (cnh tay lm bng g). Sau hn a n cho quan ta v ni:

-y l cnh tay phi ca ti, tha ngi, ti khng mun vo t cng vi n.

Whisper

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said.Mommy, I have to pee.The mother said to the little boy, Its not appropriate to say the word pee in church. From nowon when you have to pee just tell me that you have to whisper.The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to

his father,: Daddy, I have to whisper.The father looked at him and said,Okay, why dont you whisper in my ear.

Th thm

Mt ngi m dn a con trai nh ca mnh ti nh th. Trong bui l, cu b ni:M i, con mun i i.T i khng thch hp ni trong bui l. T gi tr i khi no mun i i th con ch nivi m rng con phi th thm., ngi m ni vi a tr.

Ch nht sau, b trai li i nh th vi b v trong bui l cu b ni vi b:B i con mun th thm.B cu nhn cu v ni:c thi, sao con khng th thm vo tai b.

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 5)

41.What'll I Do ?Neighbor : "Did I bring your lawn mower back last month ?"Indignant Householder : "No, you did not"

Neighbor : "Now what'll I do ? I want to borrow it again ?"

41.Bit lm sao by gi18


19/38

Hng xm : - Thng trc ti c mang ci my ct c tr li cho ng khng?Ch nh tc ti : - Khng, ng u c tr.Hng xm : - Kh cha? Th m by gi ti li mun mn ci my y na y!

42. Creative Imagination

A well-known Royal Academician who noticed a drawing of a fish by a pavement-artist asked theman what sort of fish it was supposed to be."A shark, sir !""But you've never seen a shark," said the R.A"That's true, sir", the man agreed : "but then, don't some of those Academy chaps paints angels ?"

42. c tng tng sng toMt vin s Hn Lm trng thy mt bc phc ha hnh con c ca mt ha s va h bn hi : -Theo anh th y l loi c g ?

- C mp y, tha ngi.- Nhng anh thy c mp bao gi u? - vin s hi.- ng vy, - chng ha s ng , - nhng tha ngi, th sao c my thng cha Vin Hn Lmli v c thin thn c y ?43. Guess Who Sent ThemA young couple that had received many valuable wedding presents established their home in asuburb.One morning they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a singleline : "Guess who sent them"

The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They dulyattended the theatre, and had a delightful time. On their return home late at night, still trying toguess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.And on the table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same handas the enclosure with the tickets : "Now you know !"43. on xem ai giMt cp v chng tr nhn c nhiu qu ci qu gi khi xy t m vng ngoi .Mt sng n, h nhn c qua ng bu in hai v mi xem mt bui trnh din ni tingtrong thnh ph, km theo mt dng duy nht : "on xem ai gi".

Cp v chng rt th v trong vic c xc nh cho ra ngi gi tng nhng khng ti no onra. H n nh ht ng theo v mi v tn hng mt ti vui. V n nh lc tri khuya, haingi vn cn c suy on tung tch ngi mi v danh, th h khm ph ra nh mnh b tcsch mi mn c gi tr. V trn chic bn trong phng n l mt mnh giy vit cng nt chvi l th gi km theo cp v :"By gi th qu v bit ri!"

44. How Are You On Speed ?Head of Business College : "In teaching shorthand and typewriting, we are strong for accuracy"

Inquirer : "How are you on speed ?"Head of Business College :"Well, of last year's class, six married their employers within six months."

19


20/38

44. Tc Hiu Trng Trng Thng Mi : - Trong vic ging dy tc k v nh my, chng ti tnng vo s chnh xc.Thanh tra : - Th cn v tc th sao?Hiu Trng Trng Thng Mi : - Khi ni, trong s hc vin tt nghip kho trc, su c

ly lun su ng ch trong vng su thng thi.

45. Congratulations !"I painted something for the Academy last year""Was it hung ?""Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it""Congratulation ! What was it ?""A board saying, 'Keep to the left' " .45. Xin chc mng!

- Nm ri ti c v mt bc cho Vin Hn Lm.- Th n c c treo khng?- C ch. Treo gn cng chnh, ai cng c th nhn thy n.- Xin chc mng! Anh v ci g vy?- Mt tm bng : "Hy i Pha Bn Tri"

46. An ImitationAn artist famous for painting animals was motoring through Iowa, when he saw a very animatedlooking bull. Thinking he would like to take him on canvas, he got permission of the owner. In

due time he produced an excellent likeness of the bull, which he sold for five hundred dollars. Onseeing the farmer a year later, he told him he had sold the picture of his bull for the price."Good Lord !" exclaimed the old farmer. "Why. I would have sold two real bulls for less than thatone imitation of yours."46. giang li xe bng qua tiu bang Iowa, mt ha s ni ting v ti v th vt trng thy mt con brt linh hot. C thch th hin con b y ln khung vi, ngi ha s bn xin php ch nhn.Sau , ng hon tt mt bc tranh con b ging ht nh tht v em bn c nm trm -la.Gp li ngi nng dn y mt nm sau, ngi ho s thut li vic bn bc tranh vi ci gi nh

vy.- Tri t i! - lo nng dn ku ln. - Ai m mua hai con b tht ca ti vi gi r hn mt conb gi ca cu th ti bn lin.47. You Should Have Thought Of That"I don't like these photos at all", said a client. "I look like an ape."The photographer, famous for his wit as well as for his art, favored him with a glance of loftydisdain."You should have thought of that before you had them taken," was his reply as he turned back towork.

47. L ra anh phi cn nhc trc iu - Ti khng thch my tm nh ny cht no, - mt khch hng ni. - Trng ti c nh kh t y.

20


21/38

Nh nhip nh, lng danh v c ti hm hnh ln ngh thut ca mnh, ban cho ngi khch mtci nhn khinh thng y v cao ngo v mt li p trc khi quay li vi cng vic :L ra anh phi ngh ti iu trc khi anh nh ngi ta chp hnh anh ch.

48. THE SUNSET

Father : "This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know."Friend : "Ah, that accounts for it ! I never saw a sunset like that in this country."48. Hong hn nhp ngoing b : - y l bc tranh hong hn con gi ti v y. N hc v nc ngoi v y anh.

Ngi bn : - A, hn g! x n ti cha h thy hong hn no nh vy c.

49. Soiled Currency"I hope you are not afraid of microbes", apologized the paying teller as hecashed the schoolteacher's check with soiled currency.

"Don't worry," said the young lady, "a microbe couldn't live on my salary."49. Tin bn- Ti hy vng l c khng s vi trng, - ngi th qu ngn hng xin li trong khi thanh ton tinmt cho tm ngn phiu lnh lng ca mt c gio bng nhng t giy bc d bn.- Anh ng lo, - c gi p, - ngay c vi trng cng khng sng ni trn ng lng ca ti u.

50. Why Do You Go On The Balcony ?Wife : "Why do you go on the balcony when I sing ? Don't you like to hear me ?"

Husband : "It isn't that. I want the neighbors to see that I'm not beating my wife."50. Ti sao anh li i trn ban cng ?V : Ti sao anh li i trn ban cng trong khi em ht nh th ch ? B anh khng thch nghe emht sao ?Chng : Khng phi vy u, em. Anh ch mun cho b con hng xm thy l anh hin thikhng c nh p g em ht.

21


22/38


1. Money And Friends"Since he lost his money, half his friends don't know him any more""And the other half ?""They don't know yet that has lost it"1.Tin v bn

- T ngy hn mt tin, phn na bn b ca hn khng cn bit ti hn na.- Cn na kia ?- H cha bit l hn mt tin.

2. Father Wants To Go To BedNext-door Neighbor's Little Boy : "Father say could you lend him your cassette player for tonight?"Heavy - Metal Enthusiast : "Have you a party on ?"Little Boy : "Oh, no. Father only wants to go to bed ".

2.B chu mun i ngCh b hng xm cnh nh : - B chu hi ti nay ch c th cho b chu mn ci cassette ckhng ?

Ngi m nhc rock nng : - B nh chu c tic tng g h ?Ch b: - khng, b chu ch mun i ng.

3. The River Isn't DeepA stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked ayoungster if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had toswim for their lives.

22


23/38

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted: "I thought you said it wasn'tdeep ?""It isn't", was the boy''''s reply : "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their middles !"3.Dng sng khng suMt l khch i nga n mt dng sng xa l. ng ta hi mt thiu nin xem dng sng y c

su khng.- Khng u, - ch b p, v ngi k m bt u vt sng. Nhng ngay sau ng nhn ra cngi ln nga u phi bi tri cht.Khi ngi l khch ti b bn kia, ng quay li ht ln:- Tao c tng my ni l sng khng su.- ng th m, - ch b p, - nc sng ny ch ngp ngang bng l vt ca ng chu thi.

4. My Daughter's Music Lessons"My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me ?"

"How is that ?""They enabled me to buy the neighbors' houses at half price".4. Gi tr ca nhng bi hc nhc- Nhng bi hc nhc ca con gi ti l c mt gia sn ca ti .- Ti sao vy ?- Chng gip ti mua c cc ngi nh ca hng xm ch bng na gi tin thi.

5. A Policeman And A ReporterCountry Policeman (at the scene of murder) : "You can't come in here"

Reporter : "But I've been sent to do the murder"Country Policeman : "Well, you're too late; the murder's been done".5. Cnh st v phng vinCnh st vng qu (ti hin trng mt v n mng) : - Anh khng c vo y.Phng vin : - Nhng ti c phi n y lm v n mng ny.Cnh st vng qu : - A, anh mun mt ri ; v n mng lm xong.

6. A Cow GrazingArtist: "That, sir, is a cow grazing"

Visitor: "Where is the grass ?"Artist: "The cow has eaten it"Visitor: "But where is the cow ?"Artist: "You don''t suppose she'd be fool enough to stay there after she'd eaten all the grass, do you ?"6. B n cHa s : - Bc tranh v mt con b ang n c y, tha ng.Khch : - C thy c u ?Ha s : - Con b n ht ri.Khch : - Th cn con b u ?

Ha s : - Ch b ng tng con b li ngu n mc ng sau khi n ht c sao ng ?

23


24/38

7. Let's Work Together"Can you tell me how to get to the post office ?""That's just where I want to go. Let's work together. You go south, and I'll go north, and we'llreport progress every time we meet"7. Ta hy phi hp vi nhau

- Nh anh ch cho ng n bu in ?- Chnh ti cng mun ti . Ta hy phi hp vi nhau. Anh i hng nam, ti i hng bc, vchng ta s tng thut li tin trin mi khi mnh gp nhau.

8. The French People Have Difficulty"Did you have any difficulty with your French in Paris ?""No, but the French people did"8. Ngi Php khng rnh ting Php- Anh c gp kh khn g vi vn ting Php ca anh khi ti Paris khng?

- Khng c, nhng ngi Php th qu l c.

9. Great MysteryNewsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of thekind in this paper. Where is it ?"

Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".9. B mt khng khipCh b bn bo : - B mt khng khip y! Nm mi nn nhn! Mua bo khng, tha ng?

Khch qua ng : - Li y, tao ly mt t. (c qua mt hi) - Ny, thng nhc kia, trong boc thy tin no nh vy u. N nm ch no ch?Ch b bn bo : - chnh l iu b mt, tha ng. ng l nn nhn th nm mi mt y.

10. Why Do They Have French Lesson?"What's the idea of the Greens having French lessons ?""They have adopted a French baby, and want to understand what she says when she begins totalk".10. Hc ting Php lm g ?

- V c g m gia nh Green li hc ting Php ch?- H va nhn nui mt b s sinh ngi Php nn mun hiu n s ni g khi bt u tp ni.

24


25/38

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 2)11. The Hen And The DogJones : "Sorry, old man, that my hen got loose and scratched up your garden"Smith : "That's all right, my dog ate your hen"Jones : "Fine! I just ran over your dos and killed him".11. G v chJones : - Xin li anh bn v con g nh ti st chung v bi nt khu vn ca anh.Smith : - Khng sao u, con ch nh ti xi ti con g ca anh ri.Jones : - Hay qu! Ti va mi cn cht con ch nh anh y ny.

12. Our Faults"Once a friend of mine and I agreed that it would be helpful for each of us to tell the other all ourfaults""How did it work ?"

"We haven't spoken for five years".12. Tnh bn thng thn- C ln mt ngi bn v ti ng nn ni cho nhau bit tt c li lm ca ngi kia ; nh ths c ch cho c hai.- Kt cc th no?- Sut nm nm ri bn ti khng thm ni chuyn vi nhau na.

13. She's My WifeOne of the guest turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying

to entertain them."What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is ?""Yes", was the answer. "She's my wife""Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonderwho wrote that awful song ?""I did", was the answer.13. V ti Mt v khch quay sang mt ngi ngi bn v ch bai ging ca ca mt ph n ang ht gipvui cho h.

- Ging ca g nghe m khip! Anh c bit b ta l ai khng?- Bit ch, - cu tr li. - V ti .- i ch, xin li anh. Thc ra th khng phi do ging ca ca ch y. Chnh ci th h ln m chta buc lng phi ca ht ln mi l khip. Ti khng hiu a no li i vit mt bi ca kinhkhng nh vy?- Ti vit y.

14. The Difference Between Valor And Discretion"What's the difference between valor and discretion ?"

"Well, to go to a swell restaurant without tipping the waiter would be valor""I see. And discretion ?"

25


26/38

"That would be to dine at a different restaurant the next day".14. Can trng v t nh- Can trng v t nh khc nhau ra lm sao?- , i n mt nh hng xn m khng buc boa cho bi bn tc l can trng.- Ra th. Cn t nh?

- Tc l hm sau nn chn nh hng khc m n.15. FlatteringCritic : "Ah! And what is this ? It is superb! What soul! What expression!"Artist : "Yeah ? That's where I clear the paint off my brushes".15. Nnh b

Nh ph bnh : - i! Ci g th kia? Mt bc tranh tuyt vi! Qu su sc! Qu tinh t!Ha s : - Ci g? l ch ti chi c cho sch sn y.

16. Cigar FruitGardener : "This is a tobacco plant in full flower, madam"Dear Old Lady : "How very interesting! And how long will it be before the cigars are ripe ?"16. Tri x g

Ngi lm vn : - y l cy thuc l ang n hoa , tha b.Mnh ph kh knh : - Hay qu nh! Th bao lu na th x g mi chn?

17. Downstairs And UpstairsDownstairs : "Didn't you hear me pounding on the ceiling ?"

Upstairs : "Oh, that's all right. We were making a lot of noise ourselves".17. Chuyn c x

Nh tng di : - Ti nn ln trn nh th m anh khng nghe ?Nh tng trn: - , khng sao u. Chnh bn ti cng ang lm inh i c ln y ny.

18. Time"Don't you agree that Time is the greatest healer ?""He may be, but he's certainly no beauty specialist".18. Thi gian

- Anh c ng rng Thi Gian s cha lnh mi vt thng khng?- C th y, nhng chc chn Thi Gian khng phi l chuyn gia thm m ri.

19. Borrowing Money"Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?""Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today""And at home ?""They're all very well, thank you, very well".19. Vay tin

- Gp anh tht qu ha qu, anh bn. Cho ti vay mi c khng?- Rt tic l hm nay ti khng c mt xu trong ngi.

26


27/38

- Cn nh th sao?- nh ai cng kho c, cm n anh, khe lm.

20. How Many Knaves Live In This Street ?A wag asked his friend.

"How many knaves do you suppose live in this street besides yourself ?""Beside myself !" replied the other. "Do you mean to insult me ?""Well, then ?" said the first, "how many do you reckon including yourself ?"20. Bao nhiu k bt lng?Mt k thch a hi ngi bn :- Theo anh th ph ny c bao nhiu k bt lng, khng k anh?- Khng k ti! - ngi kia ku ln. - B anh mun s nhc ti y ?- Ch, vy th ph ny c bao nhiu k bt lng, k c anh?

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 3)21. Life - Size Enlargements"Do you make life-size enlargements of snapshot ?""That's our specialty""Fine : here's a picture I took of the Pyramid"21. nh phng ln- y anh c nhn phng nh ln bng kch thc tht khng?- l chuyn mn ca chng ti.

- Hay qu! y, phng cho ti tm nh ti chp Kim T Thp.

22. Terrible ExperienceMiss Gushin : "It must be wonderful to be a parachute jumper. I suppose you've had some terribleexperiences"Parachutist (fed up with her) : "Yes, miss, terrible. Why, once I came down where there was asign : "Keep Off The Grass"".22. Kinh nghim khng khipC Gushin : - Lm ngi nhy d chc hn phi tuyt vi lm. Ti ngh l anh tng tri qua nhiu

kinh nghim khng khip.Ngi nhy d ( chn ngy nhng cu hi ca c ta) : - ng vy, khng khip lm. Ch, cln ti p xung ngay ni c cm bng ghi "Cm i Trn C".

23. Don't Be So ConceitedSmith : "I keep hearing the word 'Idiot' - I hope you are not referring to me"Jones : "Don't be so conceited. As if there are no other idiots in the world!"23. ng t ph naSmith : - Ta c nghe my lp i lp li mi my t "thng ngu". Hy vng l my khng m ch

tao y ch?Jones : - Thi i, ng c ln mt t ph. Lm nh trn i ny khng cn thng ngu no khc.

27


28/38

24. Anything Will DoMusician (after much pressing) : "Well, all right, since you insist. What shall I play ?"Host : "Anything you like, It is only to annoy the neighbors".24. Ci g cng c

Nhc s (sau nhiu ln b ni p) : - Thi c ri, nu nh ng mun th. Ti s chi bi g by

gi y ?Gia ch : - Bt c bi no anh thch. Ch chc tc hng xm thi m.

25. Naming AnimalsAdam and Eva were naming the animals of the earth when along came a rhinoceros.Adam : "What shall we call this one ?"Eva : "Let's call it a rhinoceros"Adam : "Why ?"Eva : "Well, because it looks more like a rhinoceros than anything we're named yet".

25. t tn mung thAdam v Eva ang t tn cho cc loi th trn tri t th mt con t gic i ti.Adam : - Ta s gi con ny l g?Eva : - Hy gi n l t gic.Adam : - Sao vy?Eva : - Bi v n trng ging mt con t gic hn bt k con g chng ta t tn ny gi.

26. StatuesCountry Cousin (after prolonged inspection of building operations) : "I don't see the sense of

putting statues on top of your buildings"Friend : "Statues ? Those aren't statues. They're bricklayers".26. Nhng pho tng

Nh qu ln tnh (sau mt hi ngm ngha vic xy dng) : - Ti khng hiu sao li t my photng ln nc to nh ca anh lm ci g ?

Ngi bn : - Tng no? My ci u phi l tng. l nhng ngi th n.

27. Man - Eating LionOld Lady (at the zoo) : "Is that a man-eating lion ?"

Fed - up Keeper : "Yes, lady, but we're short of men this week, so all he gets is beef".27. S t n tht ngiB gi ( s th) : - l s t n tht ngi phi khng?

Ngi gi th (chn ngy b c) : - ng , b, nhng tun ny chng ti ht sch ngi ri nnn ch c n tht b thi.

28


29/38

28. Identified"This check is doubtless all right," said the paying teller politely, "but have you anything aboutyou by which you could be identified ?The pretty young thing faltered, "I have a mole high up above my left knee".28. Xc minh

- Tm chi phiu ny hon ton hp l, - ngi th qu ngn hng lch s ni, - nhng c c ci g xc minh v c khng?- C nng xinh p p ng : - Em c mt nt rui cao tt bn trn u gi tri.

29. It Wasn't Me"Hello, Frank, I thought you were dead ?""Oh", said Frank, "they did get a story around that I was dead, but it was another man, I knew itwasn't me as soon as I heard of it"29. Khng phi ti u

- , Frank, tao c tng u my cht ri?- , - Frank ni, - ng l h c n i rng tao cht, nhng l ngi khc kia. Nghe tin ny l tao bit ngay lin khng phi l tao m.

30. A Great Discovery ?"Purely by accident, I have made one of the greatest discoveries," said the scientist."May I ask what it was ?""I found," - said the scientist, "that by keeping a bottle of ink handy you can use a fountain pen

just like any other pen, without all the trouble to filling it".

30. Khm ph v i- Hon ho do ngu nhin, ti thc hin c mt trong nhng khm ph v i nht, - nhkhoa hc ni.- Xin php c hi l g ?- Ti khm ph ra l, - nh khoa hc p, - bng cch mt l mc gn bn, ta c th sdng mt cy bt my ht nh bt k cy bt mc no khc m khng phi mt cng bm mc.


Nhng cu truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit. N khng ch gip c bn th gin m cn gip bnnng cao trnh Anh ng.

31. Has The Dinner-Bell Rung ?"My dear sir, you flatter me lingering to hear the remainder of my tale when the other passengersdashed away at the sound of the dinner-bell." Said the longwinded tourist to his one remaininglistener."What! Has the dinner-bell rung ?" asked the other, as he jumped to his feet ands dashed towardthe dining room.31. n gi n ri sao ?

- ng tht l qu ha, ng lm ti hnh din v chu kh nn li nghe nt cu chuyn ti k trongkhi cc hnh khch khc lao vt i ngay khi chung bo gi n vang ln.

29


30/38

- Mt du khch c tt ni nng dng di, t nht, bo ngi nng nghe c nht cn ngi li.- Ci g! n gi n ri sao? - ngi kia ku ln v ng pht dy, lao vt v pha phng n.

32. A Popular Song"So that is a popular song he's singing ?"

"It was before he sang it".32. Ca khc ni ting- Vy ci bi hn ang ht l mt ca khc ni ting ?- N tng ni ting trc khi hn bt u ht bi y.33. A PortraitHost (doing the honors) : "And that is a portrait of me great - great - grandfather"Visitor : " Wonderful ! Why, he doesn't look any older than you !"33. Bc chn dungGia ch (ang a khch i gii thiu quanh nh) : - Cn y l chn dung ng c ba i ca ti.

Khch : - Hay tht l hay! Ch, trng ng c chng gi hn anh t no.

34. A Gift From SisterShe : "Where did you get that umbrella ?"He : "It was a gift from sister"She : "You told me you hadn't any sisters"He : "I know. But that's what engraved on the handle".34. Mn qu ca ngi em gi

Nng : - Anh kim u ra cy d y th ?

Chng : - l mt mn qu ca ngi em gi.Nng : - Sao anh bo em l anh chng c ch em gi no c.Chng : - Th ng vy. Nhng l dng ch khc trn cn d.

35. Haircut Free Of ChargeA man entered a barber's shop with a boy of five or six years of age holding his hand. He was in a greathurry and he asked the barber to cut his hair first and later to cut the boy's hair."He can wait, I want you to cut my hair first," he said.The barber did as he was told and when he has finished the man got out of the chair and the boy tool his

place. The man excused himself and said that he would be back in a few minutes and would pay forthem both. Then he left and the barber began to cut the boy's hair. When he had finished he picked theboy up and placed him in a chair to wait. He gave him a magazine to look at.A half hour passed. An hour passed. At last the barber said :"Don't worry, your father will be back soon""My father ?" said the boy. "He isn't my father, I was playing in the street and he came along andsaid : "Come on with me, little boy. Let's go into this barber's shop together and have our haircut".35. Ht tc min ph

Mt ngi dt tay mt ch b trc nm, su tui bc vo hiu ht tc. ng ta ang rt vi vbo ngi th ht tc cho ng trc ri ht cho thng b.- N ch c m, ng ht cho ti trc i, - ng ta ni.

30


31/38

Ngi th lm theo li v khi hon tt, ngi khch ra khi gh cho thng b ngi vo th ch.ng co li phi i ngay v s quay li sau vi pht tr tin cho c hai. Th l ng ta i ra vngi th bt u ht tc cho thng b. Xong xui, ng b a b t ln mt chic gh ngich v cho n mt t tp ch xem.

Na gi tri qua. Mt gi tri qua. Cui cng, ng th ht tc ln ting :

- ng c s nghe, nh. Ba my s quay li lin.- Ba no? - ch b ni. - ng y u phi ba chu. Chu ang chi ngoi ng th ng y ti bo: "Theo bc i chu. Ta hy vo tim ht tc ny v cng ht tc i".

36. May I Go In To Swim ?Overheard on the beach at a coast resort.Small boy to his mother : "Mummy, may I go in to swim ?""Certainly not, my dear, it's far too deep""But daddy is swimming"

"Yes, dear, but he's insured".36. Con xung bi c khng ?Chuyn nghe c ti bi tm ca mt khu ngh mt ven bin.Ch b hi m : - M i, cho con xung bi c khng?- Nht nh l khng c, cng , nc su gh lm.- Nhng ba ang bi kia ka.- Ba con bi th c; ng c bo him ri.

37. A City Idler

A good - for - nothing city idler had inherited a country grocery store. He was taking his easealongside the counter in his favorite chair when a customer came in and asked for a dozen apples."I can't wait on you to day" said the ex-city man. "Come in some other time when I'm standingup".37. Dn li thnh thMt tay chy li v tch s thnh ph va c hng tha k mt ca hng bch ha minqu. Hn ta ang tn hng th nhn trong chic gh ng nht cnh bn quy th mt ngikhch vo mua mt chc to.- Hm nay khng bn hng nghe, - g cu dn thnh th ni. - Ch khi no ti ng ln th ng

ti mua.

38. B. C 1187Two men, who were visiting a Museum, were seen standing in front of an Egyptian mummy, overwhich hung a placard bearing the inscription : "B.C. 1187"Both visitors were much mystified thereby"What do you make of that, Jim ?""Well", said Jim, "I don't know; but maybe it was the number of the motorcar that killed him".38. Nm 1187 T.C.N

Trong vin bo tng, ngi ta gp hai du khch ang ng trc mt xc p Ai Cp, bn trnxc p y l mt tm bng ch "1187 TCN".Hai anh chng n ht sc thc mc v tm bng y.

31


32/38

- Anh hiu ci ra lm sao, Jim?- Ch, ti cng chu. - Jim ni, - Nhng c th l s xe ca chic xe cn cht tn ny.

39. Boying Ambition"Where any of your boyish ambitions ever realized ?"

Yes, When my mother used to cut my hair I often wished I might be bard headed"39. Tham vng thi trai tr- Nhng tham vng thi trai tr ca anh c ci no thnh hin thc khng?- C ch. Ngy xa khi m ti ct tc cho ti, ti thng c ao l mnh s hi u.

40. Three SonsThree proud mothers discussing their eight-year-old sons."I just know my little Johnnie is going to be an engineer," said the first."Whenever I buy him a toy, he tears it apart to see what makes it work"

The second said, "I'm so proud of Freddie, I just know he's going to be a fine lawyer. He argueswith the other kids all the time""No question about it", said the third mother, "little Harold is destined to be a doctor, Why, henever comes when I called him!"40. Ba qu tBa b m t ho ang bn lun v cc cu qu t tm tui ca h.- Ti bit chc thng Johnnie nh ti ln ln s thnh k s. - ngi th nht ni. - H ti muacho mn chi no l cu cu tho tung n ra xem ci g lm n chy.B m th hai ni : - Ti ht sc hnh din v thng Freie nh ti. Ti bit chc n s tr thnh

mt lut s ti ba. N lc no cng ci c vi nhng a tr khc.- B Harold nh ti th khi phi ni, - b m th ba ln ting, - s n s thnh bc s. Ch, ti mku n th ch bao gi n ti.

- Celine Dion- my heart will go on

Every night in my dreamsI see you. I feel you.That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distanceAnd spaces between usYou have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go onOnce more you open the doorAnd you're here in my heartAnd my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time

Li dch:

Hng m trong gic m ca emem thy anh, cm nhn anhem bit anh ln tin bc nh th no

Khong cch gia 2 ta tht xaanh vn n bn em, ch cho em thy anh vntin bc

D anh bt c ni u, d xa hay gnEm vn tin tri tim i ta lun hng v nhaumt ln na anh n m cnh caV anh y trong tri tim emV tri tim em s khng ngng p... v anh

Trong cuc i mi con ngi tnh yu ch n

32


33/38

And last for a lifetimeAnd never go till we're one

Love was when I loved youOne true time I hold to

In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go onOnce more you open the doorAnd you're here in my heartAnd my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not

go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,And I know that my heart will go onWe'll stay forever this wayYou are safe in my heartAnd my heart will go on and on

c 1 lnNhng n l mi mis chng bao gi ra i cho n khi 2 ta l 1

tnh yu n khi em yu anh

mt ln trong i rt tht khi em gi vngTrong i em chng ta s mi tin bc

D anh bt c ni u, d xa hay gnEm vn tin tri tim i ta lun hng v nhaumt ln na anh n m cnh caV anh y trong tri tim emV tri tim em s khng ngng p... v anh

Anh y chng cn g em phi s hiem bit tri tim mnh vn ps vn mi trn con ng chnanh c ch ng vng tri trong tri tim emv tri tim em vn mi yu anh ....

TAKE ME TO YOUR HEART(Michael Learns To Rock)Hiding from The Rain and Snow *Trying to forget but I won't let goLooking at a crowded streetListening to my own heart beat

So many people all around the worldTell me where do I find someone like you girl[Chorus:]Take me to your heart, take me to your soulGive me your hand before I'm oldShow me what love is - haven't got a clueShow me that wonders can be true

They say nothing lasts foreverWe're only here todayLove is now or neverBring me far away

Li Vit:

Giu mnh di cn ma v tuyt lnhC gng qun mi th nhng khng th

Nhn con ph ng cLng nghe thy tri tim mnh pTh gii c v vn ngiHy ni cho ti bit,ti c th tm u mtngi con gi nh em

Hy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti tilinh hn em

Cho ti c lm bn tay em,trc khi ti trln gi ci

Hy ch cho ti thy tnh yu l g,m sao tikhng h hay bitHy ch cho ti thy iu k diu nht c th

xy raNgi ta ni rng khng c g l vnh hng c

33


34/38

Take me to your heart take me to your soulGive me your hand and hold meShow me what love is - be my guiding starIt's easy take me to your heart

Standing on a mountain highLooking at the moon through a clear blue skyI should go and see some friendsBut they don't really comprehend

Don't need too much talking without sayinganythingAll I need is someone who makes me wannasing

[Chorus:]Take me to your heart take me to your soulGive me your hand before I'm oldShow me what love is - haven't got a clueShow me that wonders can be true

v chng ta cng vyTnh yu ch c th l by gi hoc khng baogi naHy mang ti i tht xaHy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti ti

linh hn emHy trao cho ti i bn tay em v hy m tiHy cho ti tnh yu lm ngi sao dn liTht d dng bit bao a ti n vi tritim emng trn nh ni cao vi vingm nhn vng trng gia bu tri m trongsngvi bn b

Nhng khng ai thc s hiu ti cC l im lng l li ra tt cV tt ti cn by gi l mt ai khin ti cth ct ln nhng giai iu du dngHy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti tilinh hn em

Cho ti c lm bn tay em,trc khi ti trln gi ci

Hy ch cho ti thy tnh yu l g,m sao tikhng h hay bitHy ch cho ti thy iu k diu nht c thxy ra.

- Tokyo Square say you will

Say you will,say you will be mineI just keep missing you tonightI feel so unsure,I feel so alone

I just don't dare to open my eyes

Into deep,going in too deepI can't get you out of my mindBaby no matter just how hard I tryI don't want to be alone tonight

Won't you be my guilding lightLead the way to be by your side

Won't you be my star tonightI need more than a neon light

Only love

2 a.m. and the rain is fallingHere we are at the crossroads once againYou're telling me you're so confused

You can't make up your mindIs this meant to beYou're asking me

But only love can say - try again or walk awayBut I believe for you and meThe sun will shine one daySo I'll just play my partAnd pray you'll have a change of heart

But I can't make you see it throughThat's something only love can do

34


35/38

Say you will,say you will be mineI just keep missing you tonightI feel so unsure,I feel so aloneI just don't dare to open my eyes.

In your arms as the dawn is breakingFace to face and a thousand miles apartI've tried my best to make you seeThere's hope beyond the pain

If we give enough, if we learn to trust

But only love can say - try again or walk awayBut I believe for you and meThe sun will shine one daySo I'll just play my partAnd pray you'll have a change of heartBut I can't make you see it throughThat's something only love can do

I know if I could find the wordsTo touch you deep insideYou'd give our dream just one more chanceDon't let this be our good-bye

But only love can say - try again or walk awayBut I believe for you and me

The sun will shine one daySo I'll just play my partAnd pray you'll have a change of heartBut I can't make you see it throughThat's something only love can do

That's something only love can do .

My Love - Westlife

An empty street,An empty house,A hole inside my heart,I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller

I wonder how,I wonder why,I wonder where they are,The days we've had,

The songs we've sang together(oh yeah).

My Love - Westlife

Mt con ng vng,Mt cn phng trng,Mt vt thng ni tri tim ca anh,Cn phng dng nh nh hn, khin anh luncm thy c nAnh t hi nh th no, anh t hi ti saoAnh t hi nhng ngy cn u, nhng ngychng ta c nhau v nhng bi ht m chng tacng ht

V em i, anh vn mi p m tt c

35


36/38

And oh my love,I'm holding on forever,Reaching for a love that seems so far,

Chorus:

So i say a little prayer,and hope my dreams will take me there,where the skies are blue to see you once again,My love,overseas from coast to coast,to find the place I love the most,where the fields are green to see you onceagain,my love.

I try to read,I go to work,I'm laughing with my friends,

but I can't stop to keep myself

from thinking(oh no)

I wonder how

I wonder whyI wonder where they arethe days we had, the songs we sang together(ohyeah)

And oh my loveI'm holding on forever, reaching for the lovethat seems so far

ChorusTo hold you in my arms,To promise you my love,To tell u from my heartWhat I'm thinking of

Reaching for the love that Seems so far

Chorus to end

Tm kim v tnh yu nh xa vi

V anh ...

- Shayne Ward until you

36


37/38

Baby life was good to meEm yu, cuc sng ny tht l tuyt viBut you just made it betterNhng em lm cho n tr nn tt hn nhiuI love the way you stand by me

Through any kind of weatherAnh yu lm sao khi em ng cnh anh v cng nhau vt qua bao sng giI dont wanna run awayAnh chng mun i cht noJust wanna make your dayAnh mun em tht hnh phcWhen you felt the world is on your shouldersKhi thy em, anh c tng nh c th gii ang nng ln 2 vai anhDont wanna make it worse

Anh khng mun lm cho n t hnJust wanna make us workAnh ch mun chng ta bn nhauBaby tell me I will do whateverBaby, hy ni i em anh s lm tt c v emIt feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew meAnh cm thy nh khng ai bit anh cho n khi em quen anhFeels like nobody ever loved me until you loved meKhng ai yu anh cho n khi em yu anh

Feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched meKhng ai chm n anh cho n khi em chm n con tim nyBaby nobody, nobody,until youBaby, khng ai c, khng mt ai cho n khi em nBaby it just took one hit of you now I'm addictedBaby, ch 1 ci nh nh ln vai thi th anh thy nh ang sayYou never know what's missingEm khng bit mnh thiu iu gTill you get everything you need

Ri n ngy kia em c tt c mi th em cnI don't wanna run awayAnh chng mun i cht noJust wanna make your dayAnh mun em tht hnh phcWhen you feel the world is on your shouldersKhi thy em, anh c tng nh c th gii ang nng ln 2 vai anhDon't wanna make it worseAnh khng mun lm cho n t hn

Just wanna make us workAnh ch mun chng ta bn nhauBaby tell me,I'll do whatever

37


38/38

Baby, hy ni i em anh s lm tt c v emSee it was enough to knowCh xem thi cng bit iu gIf I ever let you goI would be no one

Nu anh em i th anh s khng cn ai naCos I never thought I'd feelAnh cha bao gi ngh rngAll the things you made me feelTt c nhng iu em lm cho anhWasn't looking for someone until youAnh khng tm kim mt ai, khng mt ai cho n khi no em v li bn anh.

Nobody, nobody, until you

---------------end-----Hu Ve-------------------------

Truyen Ngan English Song Ngu

Documents

Transcript of Truyen Ngan English Song Ngu