TRAITS OF A GOOD LISTNER

You must understand that while acquiring the skill of active listening needs much effort, it is not impossible. A few guidelines are given in the following paragraphs. Some behavior might seem unnatural and forced but can be inculcated with practice. After some time it will appear natural. For instance, it is very difficult to be patient with a speaker when you find him irrational and illogical. However, you must be tolerant under certain circumstances. The guidelines suggested will definitely enable you to develop an attitude of tolerance and understanding.

Being non-evaluative

Paraphrasing

Reflecting implications

Reflecting hidden feelings

Inviting further contributions

Responding non-verbally

IF you are an active listener your verbal and non-verbal behavior will suggest to the speaker that he is being properly heard and understood. It should not, however, indicate what you think about the person. The purpose is to communicate, over-looking the qualities of the ideas, attitudes, and values of the speaker, In other words, you as a listener, will not evaluate the speaker for the ideas and fillings he possesses. Your behavior conveys the impression that you accept the person without making any judgement of right or wrong, good or bad, suitable or unsuitable.

If you wish to clarify a point, you can simply paraphrase what the speaker has said and enquire from the speaker whether you have heard it accurately. Use phrases like the following once to ensure that you have paraphrased the information correctly.

To reflect this you to go a bit beyond the contents of the speaker indicating him your appreciation for his ideas and where they are leading. It may take the speaker to the further extension of ideas. The listener’s aim here is to reflect eagerness and zest by nodding or through verbal means thereby giving positive feedback. If you use this technique to change the direction of the speaker’s thinking, by showing your cleverness is suggesting ideas which the speaker had not thought before, it creates distrust between the two parties. However, if you use the technique with the genuine intention of understanding more, you can cerntainly help the speaker by boosting his confidence making him believe that the listener has his content well.