TPA Lesson Plan 1 Standard American Usage and Composition Lesson 1: Building Revision Skills Background Info: At the point that these three lessons take place, students have finished drafting and typing the rough drafts of their second essay in the course and are ready to begin revising. Students are writing on one of three topics: a unit of study in a history or science class, a person they admire, or a life lesson they have learned by experience. The vast majority of students have chosen to write essays about a person they admire.

Objectives:

1) Students will review the basics of revision. 2) Students will give suggestions for revision to a sample paper. 3) Students will formulate goals for revision to be done the next day.

Procedure:

Check in with students. Confirm that everyone has finished typing their drafts. Go over the agenda on the board:

o AGENDA: Schedule Overview Revision Review Revision Practice Debrief

Put course calendar on the document camera and ask students to get out their copies. Remind students that the drafting process is now finished and that the next few days will be spent in revising. Highlight the due date for the final draft of Piece 2.

Pose the question to the class, what are the pieces of a five-paragraph essay? Quickly allow the class to generate these and write them on the board.

o Pieces of a five-paragraph essay: Introductory Paragraph Concluding Paragraph Body Paragraphs

Now explain the next task to students: students will be divided into groups, each of which will be in charge of making a list of the parts of each type of paragraph. What makes each type of paragraph a good paragraph? Each group will write their list on the whiteboard.

Divide students into four groups. In general, low-level students should be placed in the Introduction and Conclusion groups because these have been most explicitly taught. Students of middle ability should be in the group about body paragraphs. Students of the highest ability should be asked to brainstorm about organization and full-essay requirements of a five-paragraph essay.

Give students five minutes to generate their lists on the board. During this time, circulate from group to group assisting in the brainstorming.

Students return to their seats. Circulate around the room looking at each of the four lists and praising answers. Add any essential but missing qualities.

The final lists should look something like this: o Qualities of a Strong Five-Paragraph Essay

Introductory Paragraph

Gets the reader’s attention

Introduces the topic

Previews body paragraphs Concluding Paragraph

Reminds readers of the topic

Summarizes the paper

Leaves the reader with something to think about Body Paragraph

Is focused

Has a topic sentence

Includes multiple details and examples

Has a closing sentence or transition Full-essay

Has an introductory paragraph, three body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph

Three body paragraphs are in a logical order

Focus remains the same throughout the essay

All sentences are understandable and clear

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation are correct

Explain that these are the things we are concerned about when we revise. We make sure that the essay is focused, has all of the pieces it needs, and doesn’t have anything extra. Remind students that when we revise, we are making LARGE changes: changes in grammar and spelling are less important than changes in paragraphs and essay structure.

Hand out Piece 2 Revision Sheets. Explain to students that they will be revising a paper that I wrote and that this revision sheet will help them find things they need to revise.

Walk through the revision sheet with students. Explain that each part contains questions they should ask themselves about the essay they will read.

Now hand out the sample essays. There will be two different sample essays in circulation: one for higher-ability students, one for lower-ability students. Let students know that two essays are in circulation but don’t explain the difference. When students have been given the appropriate essay, place them in pairs (each pair has the same essay).

Direct students to read their essays together, taking turns reading aloud. Students should make sure they both understand the text of the essay.

Now let students begin working through the revision worksheet in pairs. Remind students that EACH PARTNER should write on his or her own sheet.

Circulate around the room, helping students as necessary.

When five minutes remain in class, ask various pairs of students to share the revision plans they have decided on in a short debrief.

Collect revision sheets to check for participation and understanding. If revision plans are inadequate, supply adequate revision plans on each student’s sheet.

Instructional Materials:

Pages 4 & 5: Peer Revision Sheet

Pages 6 & 7: Sample Essay for Revision #1

Pages 8 & 9: Sample Essay for Revision #2

Assessment Procedures:

Students will be assessed in several ways throughout this lesson. These assessments are primarily informal, but one formal assessment will also be conducted. All assessments in this lesson are formative in nature.

First, I will informally assess students’ knowledge of the elements of good writing when they go to the board in groups and generate lists of the qualities needed by various parts of an essay (material we have been covering over the past few weeks). I will be sure to address gaps in student knowledge by reminding students of any important parts of these various paragraphs that they have missed during the exercise or afterwards in my full-class debrief.

Second, I will assess pairs of students informally as I circulate around the room by observing the work they do on revising the sample essays. This work will allow me to see how students are applying the knowledge assessed above to a piece of writing. Knowing the parts of an essay is one thing; assessing a piece of writing for them is another. Where I see students passing over an important facet of the essay I hoped they would notice, I will work with them in pairs.

The third assessment will be conducted after class when I collect their Peer Revision sheets. I will take a quick look at their answers to all of the questions, but I will pay closest attention to their three Suggestions for Revision at the end of the sheet. This formal assessment will give me a snapshot as to each student’s current ability to identify things in an essay that need revision. Where the suggestions for revision are insufficient, I will ameliorate them so that all students go into day 2 with a workable plan for revision.

Fourth, I will be assessing students throughout the lesson for motivation and being on-task. This assessment has both formal and informal components: I will observe students during the lesson and remind off-task students to return to their work; I will also examine the worksheets for cursory and lazy attempts and award participation points for the day accordingly.

Writer’s Name__________________________________________ Period_______________

Editor’s Name__________________________________________ Date________________

Peer Assessment for Revision

Directions: read this student’s writing piece and make note of the following things. Write in full sentences.

Be thoughtful. Use quotations from the writer’s piece whenever possible. Be honest and constructive.

1) Did the author include an introductory paragraph?

a. Does the introductory paragraph do a good job of getting the reader’s attention? If so, how? If not, what would you suggest as an attention getter?

b. Is the topic of this essay made clear in the introduction? What is it? (Write at least one good sentence about the focus of this piece)

c. Does the introduction preview the three body paragraphs?

2) Are there three body paragraphs in this essay?

a. Does each body paragraph have a clear main idea? If yes, write the main idea. i.

ii.

iii.

b. Does each body paragraph have details or examples that support it? If not, which paragraphs need more detail?

c. Write down your favorite detail or example.

d. Is there a more logical order the author could place the body paragraphs in? If no, why is the author’s order of paragraphs strong? If yes, what new order to you propose and why?

3) Did the author write a concluding paragraph?

a. Does the concluding paragraph review the main ideas of the three body paragraphs?

b. Does the last sentence in the conclusion leave the reader with something to think about? If yes, why is the author’s last sentence a good one? If no, what last sentence might you

suggest?

4) Does the focus remain the same throughout the writing? Are there paragraphs that have information that do not belong?

5) Basics checklist:

Circle all misspelled words.

Underline confusing sentences.

6) Review the comments you have just made. Now suggest three revisions the author can make to make this essay stronger. Be specific. For example, “Add one or two more examples to your

paragraph about personality to make your first body paragraph stronger.”

i.

ii.

iii.

Draw a square around the best three sentences.

Mr. DreeseOctober 14, 2012

SAU/CompSample Essay for Revision:

Becoming a Vegetarian

**The following essay is a rough draft. It does some things really well, but other parts of the essay don’t work as well. The author would like your help in revising! Read the essay, then evaluate what changes you think the author should make. Later you’ll have the chance to put your plans into action and revise the essay.

I have been vegetarian for six of the past eight years. During that time, I have

learned a lot about the question of whether or not people need to or should eat meat. In

this essay I will write about some of my favorite vegetarian recipes, the reasons why I

decided to try being vegetarian, and some of the difficult parts of being vegetarian.

One vegetarian recipe I really like is omelettes. A lot of people make omelettes

with meat for breakfast, but I like to fill my omelettes with tomatoes, onions,

mushrooms, cheese, and whatever other vegetables I have in the house. It’s also really

easy to make a great stir fry dinner without any meat. Just chop up any vegetables and

saute them in a bit of oil. You can make a curry sauce to put on them, or just add soy

sauce. Sometimes I like to add tofu to a stir fry too. A lot of the best foods in the world

are already vegetarian anyway: pancakes, veggie lover’s pizza, mashed potatoes,

macaroni and cheese; the list goes on and on! The truth is though, I do like eating meat.

Some vegetarians say they don’t even like the taste of meat, but I still do. Sometimes

when I’m at lunch and one of the other teachers has some chicken, I really want to eat it!

Some people say it’s difficult to be a vegetarian, but there are really more than enough

non-meat dishes to eat.

My reasons to be vegetarian have changed a bit over the years. In 10th grade I

had a lot of friends who were already vegetarian. It was the totally cool thing to do. So

first I became vegetarian because of peer pressure. As time went by though, I came to

realize that there were also compelling ethical and moral reasons to being vegetarian.

Animal rights activists will tell you that most of the animals we eat are raised in really

poor conditions. A lot of animals live in inhumane conditions, and I don’t like the idea of

supporting a system that is often (but not always, of course) cruel to animals. I’m also a

vegetarian for my health. A 2009 study published in the Archives of Internal Medicine

found that eating red meat is related to increased heart disease, cancer, and other

illnesses. Being vegetarian is also good for the environment.

There are also some difficult parts about being vegetarian. The biggest is

probably that there are so many things you just can’t eat anymore!!!!! When I was a kid I

ate lots of bacon and it was super yummy, but now I can’t eat it anymore. :-( It’s also

hard when you go to a restaurant, because some restaurants have meat that the chefs

decided to put alone. It’s also hard if you have vegetarians and omnivores in the same

family. My parents both eat meat, and sometimes it’s difficult to find a dish that we all

want to eat. There are some vegetarians that think everybody else should be vegetarian

too, or they’re a bad person. That’s not how I feel. I think everybody should make their

own choice. I’m a vegetarian for ethical, environmental, and health reasons. Sometimes

it’s hard being a vegetarian.

Mr. DreeseOctober 14, 2012

SAU/CompSample Essay for Revision:

A Person I Admire **The following essay is a rough draft. It does some things really well, but other parts of the essay don’t work as well. The author would like your help in revising! Read the essay, then evaluate what changes you think the author should make. Later you’ll have the chance to put your plans into action and revise the essay.

My sister Laura is wonderful. In this essay I will write about her. I will write about our

relationship, her likes and dislikes, and her personality. I hope you think she is cool!!! :-)

Some brothers and sisters fight a lot, but my sister and I have always been great friends.

When we were young, we played together in the backyard. We built snowmen together. My

sister and I can also tell each other anything. If we have a problem, we both can go to the other

for advice. When I was in college, my sister used to visit me there. Now she is in college, and I

visit her a couple of times every year.

My sister likes to ride her bicycle. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin, and she rides her

bike all over Madison. She also likes to go camping. She and her boyfriend once biked 50 miles

to Devil’s Lake State Park and then went camping there. My sister also likes economics. She is

interested in micro-lending. She has studied in Mexico and Kenya. My sister doesn’t like math

class. She also doesn’t like coffee. She likes to play the harmonica, and she plays it totally

awesome!!!!!!!! I wanna play harmonica like she can. These are some of the things my sister

Laura likes and dislikes.

My sister has a wonderful personality. She is very friendly. She is also very fun to be

around. She makes me laugh. My sister is also very adventurous. She is loving and caring. She

also is very interested in politics. She likes to read about political issues and have discussions

about candidates and political issues. My sister’s personality is one of the reasons we have

such a strong relationship.

My sister is a really wonderful person. She has some interesting likes and dislikes and a

great personality. She and I get along very well. If you knew her, you would probably like her a

lot. If you have a sibling, I hope you get along with them too!

TPA Lesson Plan 2 Standard American Usage and Composition Lesson 2: Practicing Revising Objectives:

1) Students will get practice revising by executing their revision plans on a sample essay. 2) Students will assess the effectiveness of revisions, thus deepening their understanding of what a

successful revision process looks like.

Procedure:

Begin by thanking students for their work in class yesterday. Comment on the good plans for revisions that students generated.

Go over agenda on the board. o AGENDA:

Directions for revising demo essays Hand back revision plans Revising demo essays Peer evaluation of revisions

Give directions for revising of demo essays: o Students will each get a computer from the mobile lab cart. o They will log in to GoogleDrive and open the sample essay I have shared with each

individual student. o Students will type their revision plans at the top of the sample essays. o Students will execute their revision plans on the sample essays.

Hand back the revision sheets that students completed yesterday with comments about their revision plans.

Assist students in getting computers and logging in to GoogleDrive.

As students revise the sample essays, circulate around, helping students as necessary and keeping students on task.

As students finish their revising, put them in pairs and give them a Revision Evaluation Sheet. Each pair of students should share his or her sample essay with their new partner, who will read the revised essay and complete the worksheet as an assessment of the effectiveness of the revision.

If some students take longer on the actual revising process, that is okay. Not all students need to complete the peer revision evaluation.

Instructional Materials:

Peer Revision Sheet (from Lesson 1)

Sample Essays for Revision 1 & 2 (from Lesson 1)

Pages 3 & 4: Revision Evaluation Sheet

Assessment Procedures:

During class, students will be informally assessed in two ways: first, I will spend most of my time circulating around the room assisting students in their revisions. This will allow me to observe and assess how they are making progress on carrying out the plans they developed in class on Day 1. Secondly, with GoogleDrive, I am able to open any student’s work at any time to assess his or her progress in real time. Particularly with students about whom I am concerned, I will check in on their papers electronically throughout the class to see if they need help or are off-task.

After class I will conduct a formal assessment by examining the papers in GoogleDrive and using the Revision History feature. This feature allows me to see at a glance all the changes the students have made to the essays. I will be able to assess both effectiveness of the revisions made and how many revisions were done, which will give me some idea of how well students used their time. This formal assessment will be used the next day in class when I show students one another’s revised papers and identify strong revisions.

Name _______________ Hour ___

What Makes a Good Five-Paragraph Essay?

Every essay we write is different. Some are long, others short. Some are arguments, and some are descriptions. Every essay, however, has some things in common. When revising something you’ve written, ask yourself these questions.

Does my essay have…

An introductory paragraph? o Does the first sentence of my introductory

paragraph get the reader’s attention?

o Does my introductory paragraph clearly introduce the topic?

o Does it give a preview of the topics of my three body paragraphs?

Three body paragraphs? o First, look at each paragraph individually, and

answer these questions: Does this paragraph have a topic sentence

that introduces the topic?

Does it include details to support or explain the topic sentence?

Does it include specific examples?

Does this paragraph end with a closing sentence?

Is there any extra information in this paragraph that doesn’t fit with the rest?

Is there any important information about the topic missing from this paragraph?

o Now, look at the three paragraphs together: Do all three paragraphs have different

topics from one another?

Are the three body paragraphs in the most logical order?

Yes No

1 2 3 . Yes No Yes No Yes No

Yes No

A concluding paragraph? o Does my concluding paragraph remind readers of

the topic of my essay?

o Does it review the topics of my three body paragraphs?

o Does the last sentence in my concluding paragraph leave the reader with something to think about?

Does my whole essay keep the same focus throughout?

Do all the sentences in my essay make sense?

Is the language of my essay academic and professional?

Are the grammar, spelling, and punctuation of my essay correct?

A lot of writers like to say, “A piece of writing is never finished, only abandoned.” If you answered “yes” to all of the above questions, then you may be in pretty good shape, but don’t stop now! Look for other ways to improve your essay and go beyond these bare minimum requirements. If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, however, then your path forward is clear: revise, edit, and polish this essay! Make it incredible.

Yes No

TPA Lesson Plan 3 Standard American Usage and Composition

Lesson 3: Peer Revision

Objectives:

1) Students will practice giving feedback on a sample paragraph. 2) Students will see examples of effective revision. 3) Students will begin peer revision assessments of one another’s essays.

Procedure:

Begin by passing out Check In worksheets. These worksheets should take about eight minutes for students to complete. They ask students to read a short paragraph and provide one suggestion for revision.

Go over agenda on the board: o AGENDA:

Check-in Peek at revised sample essays Revision review Begin peer revisions of Piece 2

On the projector, open various sample essays from the class. Share with the class effective revisions done by their classmates. Be complimentary and encouraging. Find something to share in several students’ essays, especially those who need extra encouragement in the class or those who have been difficult to reach.

Shut off the projector and turn on the lights.

Two-minute lecture: why is it important to revise? o Importance of clarity o Importance of focus o Making the essay accessible to readers o Connection back to the reasons for writing in the first place: self-expression. Self-

expression is hampered when a paper isn’t clear, focused, or missing parts.

Give directions for peer revision. o Get back with partners from day 1 of the sample essay revision. o Exchange copies of rough drafts. o Explain to one another what the essay is about. o Read essays, then complete peer revision sheets.

Have students move into pairs. Hand out another copy to each student of the Piece 2 Revision sheets. Direct students to take turns explaining the topics of their papers.

Silent work time begins. Students have the remainder of the hour to work through reading their partner’s essay and completing the revising sheet. During this time, circulate and help students as needed.

Instructional Materials:

Page 3: Check-in worksheet

Pages 4-7: Revised Sample Essays

Students’ essays

Peer Revision Sheet (new copies, but same as the sheet included in the Day 1 lesson)

Assessment Procedures:

The check-in worksheets completed at the start of the class period provide a formal assessment of students’ learning over the last two days. From their performance on this assessment, I will be able to see whether students have internalized some of the requirements for a strong paragraph and can give constructive feedback.

Students will be informally assessed during the peek at one another’s revisions. When I show an example and ask students why it is an example of a strong revision, I will be able to assess by student responses how strong their understanding of revisions is at this point in the learning segment.

Students will be informally assessed as I circulate around the room observing students’ use of class time and ability in conducting a revision assessment on one another’s essays. They will be formally assessed when I examine the Peer Revision Sheets that they fill out.

Name __________________ Hour ____

Revision Check-in

1) Read the following paragraph from an essay about the American Revolutionary War.

First, the Americans thought that the British were taking their money. “No taxation without representation,” they said. Second, the British had many soldiers in America who took food and houses from the Americans. Third, the British made many laws that the Americans did not like. For example, they made it illegal to have a town meeting. All of these actions by the British made the Americans angry and led to the American Revolution. In one sentence, identify the main point of this paragraph:

2) The above paragraph is missing something important. Make one suggestion for revision to the author:

3) What has been the best thing about today for you?

Name __________________ Hour ____

Revision Check-in

1) Read the following paragraph from an essay about the American Revolutionary War.

First, the Americans thought that the British were taking their money. “No taxation without representation,” they said. Second, the British had many soldiers in America who took food and houses from the Americans. Third, the British made many laws that the Americans did not like. For example, they made it illegal to have a town meeting. All of these actions by the British made the Americans angry and led to the American Revolution. In one sentence, identify the main point of this paragraph:

2) The above paragraph is missing something important. Make one suggestion for revision to the author:

3) What has been the best thing about today for you?

*In this sample version of this document that is being submitted with the TPA, names of students have been changed.

Excerpts from Revised Sample Essays

The following are example from our class’s work yesterday. All of these revisions did something important to improve the writing. Let’s take a look!

Introductory Paragraphs

Catherine

Do you have someone that’s important to you? I have one, my sister Laura is very important to me. My sister Laura is wonderful. In this essay I will write about her. I will write about our relationship, her likes and dislikes, and her personality. I hope you will think she is cool!!!! :-)

Jessica

Have you never thought about being a vegetarian? I have been a vegetarian for six of the past eight years. During that time, I have learned a lot about the question of whether or not people need to or should eat meat. In this essay I will write about some of my favorite vegetarian recipes, the reasons why I decided to try being vegetarian, and some of the difficult parts of being vegetarian.

Xing

Have you ever wondered what is feels like to be a vegetarian? I have been vegetarian for six of the past eight years. During that time, I have learned a lot about the question of whether or not people need to or should eat meat. In this essay I will write about, some of my

favorite vegetarian recipes, the reasons why I decided to try being vegetarian, and some of the difficult parts of being vegetarian and finally a few of my favorite vegetarian recipes,

Body Paragraphs

Damien

Some brothers and sisters fight a lot, and sometimes they may not get along.They might argue once in awhile, but they have to end up getting along anyway because their still brother and sister. M, but my sister and I have always been great friends. We do nice things for each other and we don’t argue as much. When we were young, we used to played together in the backyard. We built a snowmaen together. My sister and I can also tell each other anything,there are sometimes when it can be difficult,but when those times are difficult we can always talk to each other,and ask for advice when we need to. If we have a problem, we both can go to the other for advice. When I was in college, my sister used to visit me there. Now she is in college, and I visit her a couple of times every year.

Kevin

My sister has a wonderful personality. She is very friendly. She is also very fun to be around. She makes me laugh. My sister is also very adventurous. She is loving and caring. She also is very interested in politics. She likes to read about political issues and have discussions about candidates and political issues. My sister’s personality is one of the reasons we have such a strong relationship.

Catherine

We have a good and strong relationship. Some brothers and

sisters fight a lot, but my sister and I have always been great

friends. When we were young, we played together in the backyard. We builded t snowmen together. My sister and I can also tell each other anything. If we have a problem, we both can go to the other for advice. When I was in college, my sister used to visit me there. Now she is in college, and I visit her a couple of times every year. Charlie

My sister likes and dislikes some stuff. My sister likes to ride her bicycle. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin, and she rides her bike all over Madison. She also likes to go camping. She and her boyfriend once biked 50 miles to Devil’s Lake State Park and then went camping there. My sister also likes economics. She is interested in micro-lending. She also is very interested in politics. She likes to read about political issues and have discussions about candidates and political issues. She has studied in Mexico and Kenya. My sister doesn’t like math class. She also doesn’t like coffee. She likes to play the harmonica, and she plays it totally awesome!!!!!!!! I wanna play harmonica like she can. These are some of the things my sister Laura likes and dislikes. My sister has a wonderful personality. She is very friendly. She is also very fun to be around. She makes me laugh. My sister is also very adventurous. She is loving and caring. She also is very interested in politics. She likes to read about political issues and have discussions about candidates and political issues. My sister’s personality is one of the reasons we have such a strong relationship.

Concluding Paragraphs

Arnold

There are some vegetarians that think everybody else should be vegetarian too, or they’re a bad person. That’s not how I feel. I think everybody should make their own

choice. I’m a vegetarian for ethical, environmental, and health reasons. Sometimes it’s hard being a vegetarian, but I made that my choice and its yours also. So try some vegetarian dishes you might enjoy them. Rick

There are some vegetarians that think everybody else should be vegetarian too, or they’re a bad person. That’s not how I feel. I think everybody should make their own choice. I have found some great vegetarian recipes. I’m a vegetarian for ethical, environmental, and health reasons, even though I have found it to be difficult at times.. But as time has progressed, I’ve learned that change is good. if you want a healthy, living body, and a good environment for it, switch to being a vegetarian.