Wild Hogs Mild Togs Mad Dogs

Going around Europe: 3 bikes, 8 days, 2100 miles

Day 1: Wed 25 June 2008

Early wake up – 02:00. Stephen sends texts to Phil & Cliff. Wakes them up from constantly

needed beauty sleep ☺ Both complain & set

new early start meeting time of 03:15. It

didn’t work, Stephen arrived at 03:25, and he

only lives around the corner.

Uneventful ride to Dover, just stopping for

Phil to put on his wooly jumper cos he was

cold.

Got to Dover at 5:45. Gave a tract and CMA

info to a foot-passenger before embarking

onto the 06:25 ferry. Strapped the bikes down on the Car? Deck (must mean vehicle-deck)

and went upstairs for a jolly fry-up.

Arrived Calais. Lovely warm weather. How come we’re only 20 miles from UK and already

the weather is great?

Rode towards Dunkirk (Dunkerque!) and stopped further on at Brays Dunes for 3 café’s

(coffees) at a café. Riding on the right hand side of the road wasn’t too hard (would have

been better if we had left-hand-drive bikes!), but it was a bit confusing to think about which

way to look first at an intersection. Look right, left & right again. Or is that left, right and left

again? We played it safe, and all looked left, right, left, right, ok, and drove off quickly just in

case ☺

Went round in circles at De Panne due to roadworks but got back on track and arrived at

Knokke-Heist in Belgium for tea on the beach. It’s funny to think that England is across the

sea, and everything is so different just a few

miles away. We all bought postcards and sent

them to their respective new homes. Stephen

tried speaking Afrikaans to a policeman who

thought it sounded like German and asked him to

converse in English because it was easier!

After tea it was back onto the bikes heading for

Antwerp, went around the tolled by-pass and the

tunnels. Stopped on the other side of a toll-gate

for a sleep on the embankment. Nick Sanders

(world motorcycle tourer) says he survives on cat-naps (some of the places he goes he’s

lucky he isn’t kid-napped!!). And the cat-naps work. Back on the road for the last leg

through to Holland and our first night.

Rode up the A19 towards Breda, then East

towards our objective of Deurne. Cliff’s

SatNav guided us to a pleasant campsite in

Eindhoven. We were told to put our tents

under the trees. No-one else had tents

there but we set up camp and made the

first of lots of lovely cups of tea & coffee.

Cliff’s little gas burner and kettle was

probably the most important item with us.

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Day 2: Thursday 26 June 2008

Broke camp by 8-ish and set off for Venlo, a town on the Eastern border of Holland and

Germany to find some breakfast.

Parked outside the Politia (Police station) with

permission from a policeman and settled down for the

first of many yummy and filling Continental

breakfasts. Had cheese, ham, breads, jam,

coffee......

The town was still very quiet and we browsed past a

few shops. We popped into a leather shop and there

were 3 small motorbikes on display. Stephen asked if

we could borrow them for a photo shoot and the

answer was yes!

We walked around town and took photo’s of the lovely architecture, bought more postcards,

bought some fruit including “flat” peaches which tasted like peaches!

Phil asked a truck driver if he knew where there was a motorbike shop – Phil was saddle-

sore and wanted a cushion (Gel padding or Air-Hawk cushion). So we followed the trucker’s

directions and made it to the bike shop where we looked at all the bikes, had a coffee, left a

Biker’s Bible and some tracts on their information and brochure stand. Unfortunately special

bike cushions were only available to order and we couldn’t wait there for a day!

Headed South towards Koblenz, with lovely scenery, valleys, mountains, big bridges over the

gaps and a little tiny white house all lonely on a mountain-side. We missed the turn-off to the

Nurburgring, but now we know where it is so have got a reason to come back!

We stopped at an Autobahn Kirche (Church) and were

about to leave a Biker Bible on the altar when 2 men

walked in – Walter and Andreas. We chatted to them

and discovered that Andreas is a biker – so our stopping

there was a God-arranged-moment! We gave him the

Bible. They invited us to visit them any time we were

ever in Cologne.

Carried on to a road-side Services for a rest and a cuppa. There were some comfortable

seats (especially for Phil). Stephen bumped his head twice on the low-lights that were

hanging there! Rode on further and Cliff used the sat-nav again to direct us to a camp-site in

the town of Ludwigshafen near Heidelberg. The camp-site was next to the Rhine river in a

suburb called Rheingold-Halle (very important so that we caught the right tram back from

town)

We set up camp and had a swim in the Rhine River. Stephen set off for the opposite shore

but heard a few cheery “good-byes” and realised that he was caught in the fast flowing water

so he swam quickly back again.

The intrepid trio caught the tram to town, walked around and had drinks in a busy square

with outside seating and tv’s all around for the patrons to watch the football. There were 2

pseudo-Harley bikes which looked quite mean and cool. Whilst waiting for the return tram

we fooled around on the tracks and took silly pics.

We caught the tram back to Rheingold-Halle and went to the local horsey community food

hall. We had yummy German grub and threw a stick for a little happy dog called Sally. Had

a couple more fine German drinks and then walked back in the dark to camp. We saw

glowing UFO’s (aka glow-worms and glow-flies) on the way. Went to sleep and Phil enjoyed

his little palace-on-wheels (a caravan!!).

__________________________

Day 3: Friday 27 June 2008

We were woken up at 07:15 with a cup of tea from Cliff which was very nice. Then we had

cold showers which were not very nice!

Back on the bikes and heading South. We all became grumpy in the traffic and stopped to

sort it out. Luckily there was an unmarked police van with BAD VD 32 on his number plate

which made us laugh or we might have had a fracas, and a speeding ticket! All was sorted,

hugs given, lots of Jesus love ☺ We turned off the main motorway so that we could enjoy

some back roads.

Had a leisurely break at Gaggenau, where our brunch

waitress (Martina) told us that she has a Honda Chopper

and her partner is also a biker. We gave her CMA info

and tracts, took a photo of us all which we printed in the

town, took it back and gave to her.

Looked for padded sexy cycle shorts for Phil but none make him look sexy!!! Phil and Cliff

exchanged money at the bank while Stephen played with the toy cars in the kiddies corner ☺

We left Gaggenau and rode through the

majestic Black Forest with lovely tree lined

curved roads and awesome scenery of hills,

farms and trees – slow progress to the

picturesque little town of Schromberg,

nestled amongst the rolling hills.

Refreshments were required so we had

coffee and delicious cakes while observing

the locals and listening to a lot of German

language.

Phil was feeling more and more uncomfortable in the saddle and he went into an Apotheka

(Chemist) to try and obtain some wonder-salve to soothe the affected areas. Unfortunately

he couldn’t speak German and the Pharmacists couldn’t speak English. Stephen tried

speaking in Afrikaans and they couldn’t understand that either. Luckily

a customer could speak some English and was able to translate Phil’s

request. We all had a good laugh and Phil was supplied with a tube of

ointment which presumably helped because we never heard another

thing about it....

Whilst in the Apotheka Stephen found a shopping trolley of his dreams

– filled with sweets. It was a bit of a small trolley but that didn’t stop

him!!

The road to Switzerland beckoned and we left the beautiful forest and

joined the Autobahn. This was our first taste of the “unlimited speed” on such roads and all

the cars moved swiftly, the slow lane going at about 85mph or 130kph and the fast lane

varying up to 100mph or 160kph as traffic allowed. So we covered a fair distance in a short

time!

Phil was feeling tired so we stopped at a service

station where he had a snooze on the grass while

Cliff and Stephen looked around the shop and fuelled

up. Stephen bought a map that included the Alps

into Italy because we had decided to try to go to Italy

since we were so close. There was another

Autobahn Chapel there and Stephen took some

photo’s. It was very modern and purpose built

compared to the previous one which was a church in

a road-side town.

Carried on towards Zurich and stopped to look at a Rheinfall (rapid flowing water) at

Schaffhausen which was very impressive. Wouldn’t like to get caught in that!!

We then set off on a quest to find a camp-site SouthEast of Zurich. We rode towards

Pfaffikon and then couldn’t find the campsite that we expected there. We then headed

towards Lake Zurich to a campsite that was on the SatNav but when we got there it had been

closed for about 5 years. So we rode around the shore-line of the lake to a town called

Rapperswil. There was a lot of noise, traffic and people as there was a jazz festival all

weekend. We tried the Best Western hotel but they wanted 210 Swiss Francs! (about £130

per person for the night). Well it may have been the BEST western but they weren’t getting

our money. Back at the bikes Cliff was accosted by 2 Christian “Village People” who were

very impressed with the Cross on his back and his motorbike. We rode off into the hills and

the gathering dusk, feeling tired, hungry and needing a shower.

We stopped at a pub looking for a guest-house and they

advised Hotel Rossli at Schönenberg, about 2 miles further

on. We made it there and found lodgings at the Inn for £75

each which included the evening meal, bed and breakfast.

We promptly settled in and relaxed on their terrace

quaffing the local mead with a lovely view back over the

distant Lake Zurich.

We had a double room and a single room so Phil got his own while Stephen shared with Cliff.

Cliff put earplugs in before he went to sleep, which should have been a clue. Stephen didn’t

and was kept awake most of the night by midnight bells, snorting and snoring from Cliff!

Huh! Cliff obviously couldn’t hear anything so Stephen kept throwing things at him and made

sure that he also had a disturbed night. After all, what are friends for but to share everything

with!

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Day 4: Saturday 28 June 2008

Saturday dawned with the excitement of the anticipation of riding our

bikes over the Swiss Alps into Italy – WOW!!!

After a yummy Swiss continental breakfast we loaded up the bikes

and had a quick photo shoot in front of the hotel before setting off.

There was a sign next to the front door of the hotel showing that it is

part of the GILDE hotel chain, so of course Stephen had to have his

photo taken next to it.

Onto the road in lovely sunshine riding towards Luzern (Lucerne)

through lovely hilly alpine settings we came across the Harley-

Davidson (Hardly-Dangerous) bike shop near a town called Zug.

The bike shop was on the side of the main road with awesome

views down to the lake and up to mountains beyond. Cliff

bought a T-shirt, we left a Biker’s Bible and tracts on the main

counter after chatting with a H-D assistant called Catherine.

We headed up to the big Alpine mountains, driving through

twisty tunnels and popping out to see amazing views over lakes,

Alpine villages, Swiss Chalets, and, as we rode higher and

higher, there was packed snow on the sides of the

roads. We stopped to take many photos, in awe of

this earthly beauty, a special part of God’s wonderful

creation. We also had a snowball fight and Cliff lay

down on a huge bank of snow but his shirt wasn’t

tucked in so he got a chilly bottom.

In a particularly twisty, hairpin bend, steep gradient

Phil saw a bike in front of him hit the barrier, bounce

off, hit it again and then slow down but the rider was

ok. There were hundreds of bikes, a few cars and NO lorries – hooray!

We stopped at a wayside restaurant and had a huge plate of thick melted strong cheese on

homemade toasted bread.

On we went, riding through a steep mountain pass into Northern Italy, now following Cliff’s

SatNav to get us to a campsite near Villadóssola. We were tired and hot. These last few

miles seemed endless. Yet another tight windy narrow pass, heading deep into the majestic

peaks surrounding us, the Matterhorn a few miles ahead. Suddenly a small village appeared

and we found the unimpressive camp-site. Cliff and Phil “spoke” (gesticulated and spoke

loud slow English) to some people already there. They managed to convey that we needed

to stay the night and the Italians said they’d

phone the campsite owner who would come

soon. A young man called Walter arrived and

we agreed on a price, got extra shower tokens

just in case we needed them. We asked him

where we could eat and he said there was a

Pizzeria in the little village or we could eat at

HIS restaurant just 2km up the hill next to a

lovely lake called Lago (Lake) Antrona. Having

set up camp we set off in shorts, T-shirts and no

crash helmets! to check out the lake and the

restaurant.

It WAS beautiful!! Stephen and Cliff wanted to do

the Wild Hog thing and skinny-dipped in the fresh

clear waters of the lake. Phil thought it was a

good time for a drink and said “bottoms-up” to

which Stephen & Cliff duly obliged – Phil has the

photo evidence! The Ristorante looked cool with

tables on an outside verandah surrounded by

lakeside and mountain views. Walter’s wife

Samantha interpreted a little and Anna waited

upon us. We enjoyed a carafe of vino Rosso and

delicious local food. Another patron, David,

introduced himself as he had ridden around Europe on a BMW a few years previously. He

wasn’t too keen on Harley-Davidsons but did sit on Cliff’s for a photo. He also bought us a

round of Grappa to drink.

Our hunger satisfied, bellies full, refreshed by the cool lake waters we

rode back down to camp, stopping to take photos of Christ icons

amongst the trees in the Church yard.

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Day 5: Sunday 29 June 2008

Down the mountain and onto a motorway towards Torino (Turin). Phil & Cliff’s water bottles

flew off their bikes (note – use cargo net in future). Phil tried to lead us off to Milano (Milan)

but we turned around after 5km and got back on track. We all agreed that Stephen should

be in front when any direction changes or turn-offs had to be made.

Stopped at an Auto-Grill for breki (had to ride a bit off-road, over the other side of the

highway first) but the main Grill wasn’t open yet. So we joined the queue (not really queuing,

just random Italian service) and shouted out our hopeful orders to

a lady behind the counter. We got everything to eat we were

hoping for, including marmalade croissants, paninis and strong

coffee. There were several other bikers there. Parked outside

was a customised small black and orange Honda V-twin engined

chopper with the words “Tiny Lady Biker” painted on the tank –

and the lady rider can’t have been 5 foot tall!

Rode on Autostrada towards Aoste and Montblanc tunnel through heavily queued traffic due

to roadworks. A rainstorm seemed imminent so a stop for rain-gear was called for. Onward

we went through many tunnels. A pale milky blue river was flowing swiftly parallel to the

road. Stephen stopped at a toll-gate but didn’t have a ticket because we had all just

“jumped” a toll-gate in the morning, not realising we were supposed to take a ticket then.

The lady in the booth wrote Stephen’s registration number down, and he joined Cliff & Phil on

the other side (they having jumped this one too). The signage was a bit confusing and we

didn’t know what we were supposed to do.

Phil was getting very tired and bored so we stopped for fuel at a road-side Services but there

was no shade to rest in so we carried on up into the mountains, towards the Montblanc

Tunnel.

Arrived at the Montblanc Tunnel (12km or 7 miles

long). It cost €21-45 or £16-00 each! The tunnel

seemed to go on forever. We all felt that it was

strange, almost disorientating. There were bright

blue lights at regular intervals of about 150metres

which all vehicles are supposed to drive that far apart

in case of any emergency. The tunnel must have

been well ventilated but we could still smell vehicle

exhaust fumes. It was a delight to arrive at the other

side and ride out into the welcoming sunlight with an

awesome view of the Montblanc mountain with snow covered peaks and incredible views.

A coffee break was called for and we stopped at the

beautiful town of Chamonix Montblanc with an icy glacier

visible as a backdrop to the picturesque famous skiing

town. At the coffee shop where we enjoyed delicious

pastries from the bakery across the road a group of

British bikers also arrived. They ride with a club called

the Perverted Centurions. We had a good chat with them

and gave them some tracts as we didn’t have any more

Bibles. The bikers asked about giving donations to the

CMA and we said they could send money direct to the

CMA, as well as requesting a free Biker Bible.

We walked around in the searing heat where we saw

cable cars, paragliders soaring above the slopes and

peaks, awesome snow-covered glaciers and a milky

white/blue river flowing swiftly through the centre of town.

Back on the road to Geneva, where we found a fabulous campsite on the shores of Lake

Geneva on the advice of the afore-mentioned Perverts (UK bikers). Set up camp, swam in

the lake, had a delicious meal at the on-site restaurant. Cliff insisted that we watch the

European football final between Spain and Germany. The tv was inside the restaurant and

their heating radiators were on, even though the weather was already boiling!! The coldest

thing there was the arrogant waiter/manager and we found our own dessert menu’s and had

3 different ice-creams.

Took a couple of dusk/sunset photos at the

lakeside with Phil posing for Charles Atlas

brochure ☺ The silhouette looked more like

Charles Chaplin!! He was very attractive to the

local mosquito population and was bitten all over

(well almost). Stephen went for a short walk then

we all went to bed to the cheers of the campers

watching the ongoing football match. Spain won,

much to the delight of most. Cliff and Phil sawed

wood all night. It rained at 2a.m. and was

spitting when we packed up in the morning.

________________________

Day 6: Monday 30 June 2008

Set off into the rush hour traffic using Cliff’s tv-game (Satnav) as a guide. Needed to stop at

the customs border post to put all our rain gear on as the heavens opened for the first time

on our trip. Rode on into Southern France where after a few miles the rain had stopped and

the rolling hills on either side were bathed in warm sunshine again. After 50 miles we

stopped at a Services for fuel and food. There was something strange happening there

because a BMW bike, Harley Davisdon and a car were all having problems with their alarms

and immobilisers. Cliff tried to help the Harley guy but to no avail. He had to wait for

breakdown rescue. We continued on the motorway but Stephen decided that N6 back road

looked cool so we stopped for a snack at Charlyon. Set off again and took the offramp

where there was a toll-gate. Cliff didn’t have a ticket because in the morning he’d ridden up

to the ticket machine too close to Stephen and the machine didn’t recognise two vehicles.

The lady was very firm, and wouldn’t back down so Cliff had to pay an extra €10-00.

Rode up the enjoyable old road (N6) which ran almost parallel to the motorway but was

much more scenic. We pushed past our original objective of Auxerre to Sens which is closer

to Paris with the hope of having more time to spend in Paris the next day.

The campsite was rudimentary but clean, and the owner Michel was a

friendly chap. We all used lots of smiles and hand signals to

communicate and set up camp again. Had a welcome shower and

then walked into the town itself – about a mile.

There was a beautiful cathedral there and interesting winding walkways

among the beautiful architecture of the town. We stopped for cooling

refreshments seated outside on the pavement while watching the locals

go by (always a fun and interesting past-time). Walked back to camp,

expecting to dine that evening at a pleasant inviting looking restaurant

across the main road from the campsite but it was “fermi” (closed), as

was the pizzeria nearby. Apparently they close on Monday nights.

So we tried to explain our predicament to Michel and asked him to phone for a taxi for us – it

was just too hot and tiring to walk back to the town centre again. He offered us a lift in his

little Renault van and we accepted his kind offer. Back in the town square we chose an

inviting looking restaurant and took a table outside so we could dine al fresco. The waiters

were JonJon and Rosa, who forced us to imbibe great quantities of liquid refreshment. The

food was excellent and being outside we interacted with the passers-by including a group of

young German tourists who insisted on having us in their photos, and them in ours. We all

laughed together like schoolboys. Phil and Cliff posed with a local lad on the edge of the

fountain’s pool in the town square. Eventually

we strolled home again, took photos under the

street lights hanging over the centre of the road.

It made us feel like we were going to be

beamed up (Scotty) ☺

Apparently Phil’s tent was pitched right next to a

mosquito nest, and he appeared the next

morning with more bumps than usual!

________________________

Day 7: Tuesday 1 July 2008

Both Stephen and Cliff woke with the joys of Spring and hope in their hearts, with not a care

in the world. Phil on the other hand was a growling bear. Ooops, sorry – wrong way round!

The contracted illness made Cliff feel quite queasy. He requested two pit stops. A strange

British biker was seen sleeping in the forest behind Fontainebleau Palace and again a bit

later in the palace gardens next to the “keep off the grass” sign. Stephen walked up to the

palace to get a happy snap while Phil cleaned his bike, mowed the grass at the side of the

road, raked up all the leaves and cleaned the windscreens of all the cars in the parking lot.

Then Phil and Stephen enjoyed a lovely coffee and omelette at

a bistro in Fontainebleau. In a phone booth next to the bistro a

grey cat was crouching in the corner, very frightened and

obviously lost. Most of the people walking by stopped to look at

it. One of the chefs put some meat down for it to eat.

Eventually a Community Support officer arrived and took it

away, hopefully not to the oriental restaurant across the road!

A large strong black take-away coffee was obtained for the sleeping vagrant in the park who,

when roused, was very grateful. The Coke we had stopped for earlier hadn’t helped much.

Phil & Cliff then spoke to a biker called Mike about the route to Paris while Stephen was

posting cards. He advised which route to take and they gave him a Biker Bible return form

and a tract.

And so, towards Paris we headed......

It was VERY HOT! Got into Paris and stopped at the first

restaurant we found for juice and water, feeling

dehydrated and boiled alive.

We rode to the Eiffel tower where Stephen was twice

offered a gold ring by the local touts (touts, not louts) and

refused them, told them to clear off.

Phil and Cliff relaxed on the grass. Stephen, the usual

tourist, went on a lone photo shoot and took pics of

anything and everything around the tower. It was still

VERY HOT.

Left the tower and followed SatNav to Arc de Triomf, stopping for a photo before working our

way through the busy lunch-time traffic until we burst out onto the main Northern highway.

Within half an hour there was only the three of us on the road, and rolling grain fields on both

sides. We felt free, cooler, refreshed and enjoyed the great open views after the closeness

of the metropolis.

At Amiens we Cliff and Stephen went to the Tourist Information Centre to look for a camp-

site. It was still VERY HOT. We found the local camp-site which didn’t have any trees,

wasn’t by a lake that we could swim in, although some locals were diving off lock gates

swimming in the canal. Cliff & Stephen went to check in and returned to the bikes to find Phil

upset and annoyed. Phil had said earlier in the day that he didn’t want to camp or sleep in a

tent that night. There were no caravans or chalets available at this site, nor at any other site

in town. Phil decided he was going to ride to Calais on his own and sleep in a hotel! We had

a DEBATE and eventually agreed and decided that we would definitely all stay together

somewhere else, perhaps in a hotel. So we handed back the gate key and were given a full

refund. We then rode around Amiens looking for space in an Inn. But, it was the time of

university exams and there was no room in any Inn! A helpful man at a hotel reception

phoned ahead to Abbeville, a town 50km

further North, and arranged accommodation for

us all.

On the road again....... STILL VERY HOT. And

we were tired. We got to Abbeville about 7pm

and the town was quiet. Found the hotel which

looked very nice. The lady at the reception

desk was English but had lived in France for

many years. We had a good chat and a laugh

with her while arranging a “family” room for the

three of us at a good price, courtesy of Phil.

Up we went to our room which was lovely and cool with a

pleasant view down the town. After showering we went

downstairs again and decided to eat in the hotel rotisserie as

the other one we had seen apparently recycle their salads –

yuck!

The food was c’est magnifique. Cliff and Stephen had a brief

walk around town at midnight. When they got back to the hotel

room Phil was already sawing wood! It was wonderful to settle

down in luxurious comfort after almost 2000 miles on the road

in a week. Thanks Phil!

________________________

Day 8: Wednesday 2 July 2008

The Last Day..... Our last yummy continental breakfast with DIY boiled oëf on toast, as well

as cheeses, sliced meats and filter coffee.

We packed up the bikes and Stephen wrote on a tract which he put onto another bike parked

outside. Phil and Cliff bought zip-bags and trinkets for family back home. Phil left his bike

key on a shelf in the shop and had to go back. Luckily it hadn’t been sold as an ornament!

A quick ride up to Calais, through Boulogne and the last

bit of beautiful French countryside. It was cloudy and

warm. We made it to the ferry terminal in good time. At

the customs/passport control Stephen walked back to

take a photo of the bikes. He said “Don’t move” and Phil

and Cliff put their hands in the air as if they were being

arrested. The customs officer was NOT amused! Ha ha

ha ha!

Once on board we counted all our small change and had a huge meal

on the proceeds. Stephen and Phil walked around the ferry and went

outside on top where it was dry and cool with great views of the other

Channel traffic and England getting closer.

We docked at Dover and the large metal doors opened to reveal......RAIN! Why were we not

surprised? So we put on all our rain gear in readiness for the last 130 miles home. Except it

became 160 miles. Phil was in front at the split of the M20 to Dartford or Heathrow, and he

chose Heathrow. He had far-off destinations on his mind, and didn’t want to go home just

yet. There wasn’t another intersection or off-ramp until Horsham – over 20 miles in the

wrong direction. Oh well, we just laughed and enjoyed the ride.....

Arrived at Orwell Truck Stop near Ipswich in Suffolk at 4pm. 3 bikes, 2100 miles in 8 days.

It was great!

Cliff Lewis (Harley Davidson Night Train)

Phil Harris (Honda Pan European)

Stephen Gilder (BMW Rockster)

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