STOP WATCHINGAND GRIND

SWAG

2

We have become a society of watchers. We are taught to watch others live their lives

while we ignore our own. Ask yourself, how many games do you watch on TV? How

many reality TV shows do you watch on a weekly basis? How many hour-long dramas

do you watch every week? If your TV consumption is more than 7 hours a week, then

you fit in my definition as a “watcher.”

What happens when you watch too much? Watching too much stunts your

growth and demoralizes you. You get caught in idolizing and coveting. You begin to idol-

ize others as your “god” and covet the life that you think they have. You become demor-

alized because you can’t seem to figure out how you could ever have the money and

success that they have. So what happens next? Next you find yourself going to work

each day because you went the day before. You don’t set goals because you’re afraid

to fail. You don’t ever start anything new because you don’t have a plan to finish it.

I see so many people that are living like zombies. They aren’t dreaming. They

aren’t living. They just exist. Who has what? Who’s doing what? What’s the latest shoe?

What’s the latest handbag? Oh, such and such has this bag or this shoe, so let me

work overtime on this dead end job so that I can have it too. Let me skip meals, skip

bills, and nearly go broke so that I can look like my favorite star on TV. I’m talking to

somebody right now. Is it you? Is it someone you know?

So many people say they want something, but when it boils down to it, they are

not willing to do what it takes to get it. Watching too much steals your ambition. It

steals your creativity. You soon become a copy instead of an original. Whatever we

don’t use, we lose. So if you aren’t using the creative side of your brain because you’re

only using the side that comprehends the information you’re watching, then guess

what? You will lose that creative muscle that you need to build your own dreams. I al-

ways say, if you don’t build your own dream, then someone will hire you to help build

theirs. That’s the truth. It’s important that you stop watching and start doing.

SWAGSTOP

WATCHING

AND

GRIND

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Why is watching too much demoralizing? It’s demoralizing because you’re see-

ing the profit but not the process. You’re seeing the end result without the work. You’re

seeing the shine but not the grind. You’re seeing the glory but not the story. You are

forced to envy where a person’s at and what they have, but you have no real under-

standing what it took for them to get there. If you knew what it took for them to get

there, then you would reconsider wanting what they have. You would actually want

what’s best for you instead and use your own gifts and tools to get it. Watching too

much is demoralizing. Notice that I said “too much,” because you need to watch a little

sometimes to be inspired. Watching a little will light a fire, but if you sit and watch too

much, then that fire will just consume you instead of fuel you.

Nothing comes to a watcher but a daydream. It’s okay to dream, but what will

you do when that dream ends? A dream without action becomes a fantasy and fanta-

sies are fleeting. It’s time to stop watching and start working.

I’m on social media working throughout the day and I often notice people’s com-

mentary on whatever is on TV. On Twitter, I follow several thousand people but I don’t

really read tweets. I only read what’s there on the homepage when I log in. That may be

5-10 tweets, and then I’m doing what I logged in to do and that’s to work. Every tweet I

send has a purpose to serve. But in those 5-10 tweets I read, they may all be on the

same topic, and then it hits me once again that we are a society of watchers. 90% of

the time, what people are all talking about on TV, I had no clue was occurring. Why?

Because I’m creating. So many people are becoming watchers today because every-

one else is watching. We are following the crowd down the broad road and forgetting

that the broad road leads to destruction. We are becoming absent in our own lives and

present in the lives of those on TV. We know everyone’s name on TV and their made-up

life story but can barely remember our own story and haven’t identified our own pur-

pose. The people on TV that we are watching are living a piece of their dream while we

are watching them instead of doing the same. The people on TV didn’t get there by

watching you live your life. They got there by living their own lives. If you are going to

take a lesson from TV, then take that lesson. They didn’t do what you are doing to get

to where they are. They did the opposite.

Watching is a waste. You must remember that your time is your life. Your time is

much more than money. Your time is priceless. You can’t get your time back, so be

careful how you spend it. One day you will look back over your life and I hope it’s worth

watching. You will think about every hour that you let slip away. You will think about the

things you should’ve, could’ve, and would’ve done if only you hadn’t been stuck being

a watcher. You will wish you created something that would outlive you; something other

than your kids, because in our society today, many kids aren’t outliving their parents.

You will wish you created something without an expiration date, something that can be

passed down generation after generation, something bigger than you. Watching is a

waste of life and you can’t get that life back when it’s gone. We have heard too often

that this life is not a practice run and there is no do-over. This is one and done. Don’t

watch your life away.

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And Look InsideStop watching and look inside of yourself. It’s time to discover your purpose. You

may ask, what is purpose? You may ask, how do I discover my purpose? What if I feel

ungifted? What if I feel untalented? Well, there are some things you must first under-

stand about purpose:

1. Everyone has a purpose!

2. Your purpose was born with you

3. Purpose is always rooted in service

You have to realize that you have a purpose just as I have a purpose. There

would be no other reason for you to be born if you weren’t put here to make the world

a better place. Everyone has a unique gift to offer the world in order to make other lives

a little bit easier. You have to look within and give something back to the world.

How do I discover my purpose? Look back over your life. Write down everything

that you did well while growing up. What did you do in your free time when you were a

very little child? What were you drawn to? What were your strengths? What did you do

that not everyone around you could do? Was it drawing, singing, dancing, organizing,

planning, creating, dreaming, working with your hands, working with friends or talking?

What was it that you loved to do? There was something; you just have to sit and think

about it. Everyone did something well as a child.

If you honestly can’t think of something that you did well, then think of some-

thing that you didn’t do well and why. What was it that held you back? What was it that

hindered you? Now, that thing that limited you, wouldn’t you like to see it removed from

the face of the earth? Wouldn’t you like to help others so that they don’t have to suffer

from the very thing that you suffered from? It could be anything; a disability, a living situa-

tion, the doing of someone else, anything!

You see, purpose is connected to one of those things. You either use your gift(s)

to make the world a better place or you work against the thing that hindered you so

that it doesn’t hinder anyone else. Think of your favorite artist in any arena. How has

their work made your life better? Has it inspired you at times? Has it lifted your spirits at

times? Has it kept you calm at times? That was their purpose! They used their gift to

make your life just a little bit easier. The sad thing is that some people never really get a

full grasp of purpose and what it is and they use their gift(s) to make your life easier but

kill themselves in the process. That’s not what purpose should be. Purpose shouldn’t

be a burden if you’re living it. Purpose should only be a burden if you’re ignoring it and

running from it. Purpose is bigger than you and it can change your life and the lives of

others.

My gift as a child was writing. It wasn’t that I could write better than everyone

else but it was that I could express myself fully on paper even when I couldn’t do it with

my voice. I write from the heart, not the mind. Writing isn’t an art to me; it’s a gift of ex-

pression. It’s a release. I don’t write for praise or any awards. I write to express, not to

impress.

I ran from my gift of writing for many years, and then finally at the age of 22 years

of age, I gave in and wrote my first book. That book traveled around the world and

landed me on national television. That book changed a lot of lives and set a lot of peo-

ple free. That book led to many other books that are fulfilling the same purpose. From

the books, there came many other projects that would inspire the world. One thing

leads to another when you’re walking in your purpose. The books led to speaking and

life coaching. Those things led to online classes, podcasts, audio and video content,

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smart phone apps and so on. Everything I did had one thing in common; they all fulfilled

purpose.

Purpose must be about changing lives. Purpose can’t be about profit, although

profit usually comes with it. It can’t be about that. Whatever you decide to do, make

sure you are doing it because you love it and not because you saw someone else suc-

cessful at it. Today we live in a monkey-see, monkey-do society. Everyone is doing

what someone else is doing because that someone else is successful at it. What some-

one else is doing may be connected to their purpose and that’s why they are successful

at it. That doesn’t mean that it will work for you, and even if it does work for you, that

doesn’t mean that it was supposed to be done by you.

Look inside and do that which makes you come alive. That’s what our world

needs most is people that have come alive. If we have a world full of people who are

really living, then our world changes for the better. No matter what it is that you are pas-

sionate about, there is a business model that can be attached to it. Most likely, some-

one else has already written the blueprint and you can just apply it to your life. If not,

then make it make sense and write your own blueprint for the business model. Start

something and sustain it. As long as you are pursuing purpose, whatever you are doing

will never lose the thrill. Every day, I wake up inspired and motivated because I know

that I haven’t reached everyone on the planet with my message. That, alone, is motivat-

ing.

What if I don’t feel gifted or passionate about anything? Then you have to force

yourself to become passionate. Will your way through it and it will become natural after

a while. Find a cause that you can get behind and support it whole-heartedly. We re-

member people like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, and Martin

Luther King Jr., not for their talents, but for their service. The root of purpose is service.

Find something you can serve and do it with everything in you. Start a non-profit organi-

zation or join one that already exists. Dedicate your life to service and serve those in

need. That service of others will make you come alive. It will inspire you to do more. It

will not only impact the lives of those that you’re helping, but it will impact your life as

well. You’ll want to do more. You’ll want to write a book, take it around the country, and

reach as many people as you can with your gift of service. If you want to leave a legacy

on Earth, then you need to serve. We only remember the servants; everyone else is for-

gotten in history, but the people who did something to add to world will never be fully

forgotten. You don’t have to become a global celebrity in your service, but to those you

affected and those who will come after them, you will always be remembered. Whether

it’s your book, your foundation, or your service, you will be remembered.

Purpose is service! Many people are not fulfilled because the world has condi-

tioned them to live selfishly. Everyone is out for self and not many are looking to give

back to the world. It’s selfish to just go to work everyday trying to make all the money

you can make and climb the ranks for the recognition of your peers. It’s selfish to use

your gift(s) only to make money and not think about the effects it could have on the pub-

lic at large. Many people are chasing the American Dream only to achieve it and realize

that it’s a nightmare. Life becomes peaceful when you begin to love others as you love

yourself and you serve the world selflessly. It’s not about how much you can get out of

life, but instead, how much can you give this life. You can’t take anything with you, so

the question becomes, what will you leave behind?

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Now GrindPut in work!! It’s time to get off the couch and start creating. You’re only one

step away from living your dreams; you just have to be willing to take the step. You’ve

watched enough, you’ve listened enough, and you’ve learned enough. Now it’s time to

work. Don’t make it more complex than it needs to be. Don’t look at someone at their

destination and expect to be there as soon as you start. Watching is demoralizing!

Working is inspiring. You will gain your own lessons as you go. Life will teach you what

you need to know in order to succeed. If you trust the process and don’t give up, you

will learn life-changing lessons that others will pay you to learn. So often, people get so

caught up watching others and what they’re doing and trying to do it exactly like them,

but what worked for them may not work for you. If you allow life to teach you, then it

may teach you something that even the greats didn’t learn. Start where you are with

what you have and make it happen.

I started out on my journey with nothing. I didn’t have a college degree. I didn’t

know much about grammar and punctuation. I’d never taken a writing class seriously,

and other than the required composition classes in school, I hadn’t done anything out-

side of that. I started where I was and used what I had. My wife gave me $1,600 from

her college refund check to publish my first book. I was 22 years old when I published

the book and turned 23 a month later. Two years later, I found myself sitting on The

Oprah Winfrey Show and The Tyra Banks Show telling my story. I wasn’t a featured

guest and only Tyra Banks showed my book to the world, but I was 25 years old and

thankful for even that little bit of publicity. My book wasn’t professionally edited and it

was self-published through an Internet publisher. It was available on bookshelves in

every country. I didn’t receive an advance, and I had absolutely no help promoting it. I

just started where I was with what I had. I didn’t make excuses. The year after Oprah, I

was being paid thousands of dollars to speak for organizations and schools for 20 min-

utes to an hour. I’d failed oral communications class in college. I’d never been to a toast-

master’s class. I actually used to drip sweat and tears when public speaking. I didn’t

have any formal speaking training, but I started where I was with what I had. Today, I’m

one of the top life and relationship coaches in the country. I speak for major organiza-

tions and I’m invited around the world to speak. I’ve coached more celebrities then I

ever thought I would. Well, let me not tell that lie; I envisioned all of this and took action.

I dream up ideas at night before I close my eyes and then I roll over to the side of the

bed and grab my notepad to jot the idea down. Usually that night or early the next

morning, I write my graphic designer and tell him what I need done and how much I’ll

pay him to do it immediately, and it’s usually all done from concept to creation in 24

hours.

I’ve written several of my own books and ghostwritten many books for others. I

have products for sale in many different online stores from iTunes to Amazon.com. The

last time I counted, I had built 14 different streams of income all by the age of 28. I

never finished college or took any real training in anything that I do. I just had ideas and

ambition. I let life teach me the lessons I learned and now I teach others. I want you to

get your own knowledge, but even in all your getting, you still may not get what I’ve got-

ten. So that’s why I teach and that’s why you should teach. I always told myself, every-

thing in every book was written by a man, and if he could figure out how to do it, then I

can figure out how to do it. I don’t let others set the boundaries and expectations on

my life. I let God set them and He has none. I trust that if God divinely inspires me to do

something, He will also provide the tools I need to do it. I listen to free teleconferences

and podcast and I pay for the info that I feel I could not otherwise get on my own. I take

a little seed, plant it and watch it produce a mighty harvest.

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I live my life to create, inspire and live a legacy. I couldn’t care less about profes-

sional sports that are being played on TV. I couldn’t care less about the reality shows

that are on TV. Even when I watch TV, I’m doing my own work. I don’t let time go to

waste. The only time that I leave exclusive is my family time. Outside of my family time

and my time with God, all other time is subject to my creations being developed. I don’t

give all of my focus to Lebron James or Peyton Manning. I don’t give all of my focus to

the tomfoolery on TV. I’ve only watched one episode of an hour-long drama, and I

tweeted life lessons while watching it so that it wouldn’t be a complete waste of my

time. I couldn’t tell you what other entrepreneurs or leaders like myself are doing unless

they come to me and ask for help. A lot of them come to me and ask for help because

they’ve been watching me instead of developing themselves. They look at what I’ve

built and they want to be a part of it or use it in some way, but what they don’t realize is

that they can do the same thing and maybe even better if they give more time to creat-

ing and cultivating. I don’t watch what anyone else is doing because God has given me

too much to do. I don’t want anyone else to inspire me but God’s word. I don’t want to

use anyone else’s ideas unless they were created to aid me in what I’m doing. I don’t

want to be a copy of anyone. I want to be the original God intended me to be. I use the

tools and resources needed for my gifts to thrive. If someone has designed a video con-

ferencing site, then I want to talk to them. I don’t want to talk to another author who’s

doing the same thing that I’m doing because we don’t need to be the same. We need

to be different. If someone has created a payment system for my website, I want to talk

to them.

You see, I don’t want to waste time talking to people or watching people who

are not using their gifts in ways that can aid my own gifts. Everybody wants something

and you have to be careful of that. Some will want to take you under their wing so that

you don’t soar higher than them. Some will try to do the same thing you’re doing and

will want to use what you’ve built to better their business, but there is no exchange.

There’s nothing in it for you. Always look for a win-win. One time, a new video site ap-

proached me. They wanted me to start a class on their site and to use it and promote

it. I started using it and I drove a lot of new people to their site. They told me that my

page gets more hits than anyone else on their site. I was bringing a lot to their site and

making them money. It was a win-win though because they had a platform that I didn’t

have. I wanted to teach online classes by video but I didn’t know how to build a site

that does that. So their gifts aided my gifts. We didn’t overlap one another; we bene-

fited one another.

Every day is a grind!! This short ebook I’ve written is done in one sitting. All while

writing this ebook, I answered emails and scheduled all of my coaching sessions for

tomorrow, sent a couple of tweets, did some marketing, and made my wife and son

something to eat since my wife is on bed rest from surgery. This is the grind! I’ll have to

coach another client in a few hours and then teach two group classes later tonight.

Both classes are my creations and set up so that I can coach up to 1,000 people at

once instead of using 1,000 hours of my time. You see, this is the grind and it’s fulfilling.

I’ll get a break to play a video game with my son and I’ll also make my wife dinner and

be in bed by 11pm to rub her back until she falls asleep. Oh, and I’m working from

home. I have an office as well, but because I created my own destiny, I can work from

home when I want and make my own schedule how I want so that I can have family

time and grind time.

All things are possible when you are willing to work for them. My life is very fulfill-

ing and I couldn’t be happier. I have an overflow of blessings, and that’s why I’m giving

this ebook away for free! You may say, well this ebook is very short, so what’s the big

deal? Well, you have to understand that in these few short pages is a plan that can

change your life forever. We are conditioned to make everything more complicated than

it really is, so we get so bombarded with information that it weighs us down and we can

never make a move. I urge you to keep it simple and just take one step at a time by put-

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ting one foot in front of the other. Life isn’t as complicated as we make it. Business isn’t

as complicated as we make it. I want you to take a look at my website

www.tonygaskins.com and browse all the links. Look at the things I was able to create

by 28 years old without a degree or any formal training. I don’t want to impress you. I

want to inspire you. If I can do it, then so can you!

Stop Watching andWork!!

Tony A. Gaskins Jr., the son of a former pastor, was raised in a loving home

along with a younger sister in a small central Florida town where most people believed

About the Author:

that there were only a few avenues one could take in life. The common belief was that

one could either end up overworked and underpaid, sell drugs or become a profes-

sional athlete. Tony escaped the cycle that entrapped so many of his peers and was

awarded a full collegiate football scholarship.

It was in college where Tony would run into trouble. All on his own for the first

time and 1,000 miles from home, Tony found himself in a mess. Women became his

biggest vice, closely followed by the lure of fast money. Tony began selling drugs from

his dorm room and stealing on weekends while juggling women somewhere in be-

tween. After three years of barely staying afloat in his responsibilities as a student ath-

9

lete, his coach decided to release him from the team. One might think that this circum-

stance would have been a clear wakeup call, but Tony was unreceptive. Instead, he

moved back to Florida and continued to sell drugs and juggle women. He was living like

the Prodigal Son, ignoring his natural gifts that were waiting to be unleashed.

It wasn’t long after relocating to Tampa, Florida that Tony would cross paths with

a young lady who would influence positive change in his life. She later became his wife.

Tony was trying to balance his lifestyle of selling drugs and living a lie while keeping his

wife. That balancing act wouldn’t sustain for too long. At 23 years old, Tony was mar-

ried and had a newborn son who arrived 10 weeks early and weighed only two pounds

at birth. Tony decided to give drug dealing one last shot after a long hiatus. He was des-

perate to find a way to provide for his new family. This time would be the last. No less

than a few weeks in his risky lifestyle, Tony’s wife decided she’d had enough and she

left him. To add insult to injury, Tony was robbed two days later by a group of local ene-

mies. Tony found himself grappling with $30,000 in debt, poor credit and nothing to call

his own, a marriage that was hanging on by a thread and a son in the intensive care

unit. It was at this point that Tony finally realized the error of his ways. He fell on his face

and cried out to God. He rededicated his life to Christ and vowed to forever live a life of

service from that day forward. Although there would be trying times and stumbling

blocks in the road, Tony kept his word to God.

Tony pulled out his book, “What Daddy Never Told His Little Girl,” which he had

written and published earlier that year. He set a goal to be featured as a guest on The

Oprah Winfrey Show within two years to admit his shortcomings, and from there, to

move forward with a clear conscience on a mission to change the world. Over those

next two years, Tony engrossed himself in the teachings of the greatest humans to ever

walk the Earth. He absorbed thousands of hours of teaching from world leaders; Jesus

Christ was his most influential source. This new information about every subject impera-

tive to life changed Tony in the most profound ways. He literally became a new man

and almost unrecognizable to his former associates. Christ’s teachings and love re-

stored Tony’s life, his heart, his mind, his marriage and his son. While simultaneously

transforming into a new man, he was also juggling the tasks of standing in as his own

agent, manager and publicist. He secured several speaking engagements, newspaper

articles, magazine articles and local television appearances. Almost two years to the

date, Tony was invited to The Oprah Winfrey Show to share his dark story of once be-

ing a toxic and abusive boyfriend while in college with his ex-girlfriend. Tony admitted to

things the average man would carry to his grave. His reasoning was to turn his mess

into his message and to use his story for God’s glory. He knew that in order to help oth-

ers change their lives, he had to be willing to admit his own faults as a man. It was his

pain which birthed his purpose. He humbled himself and revealed his mistakes as a

young man. The day after appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show, the producers of The

Tyra Banks Show called Tony. Tony was featured on Tyra Banks’ show as a guest ex-

pert with his self-published book in hand. This was a book that Tony wrote at the mere

age of 22 years old when he was fresh out of the dating game. He played the game

worse than most men and survived to tell about it in his books. After the talk show ap-

pearances, Tony was featured on TBN’s 700 Club. He had visited three globally-

televised shows all within a few months while acting as his own agent, manager and

publicist.

Tony put a lot of miles on his life at a young age and was blessed with a level of

wisdom from his mistakes that would not only change his life but also millions of oth-

ers’. He continued to study daily and gain years of growth. It was that dedication to

growth which eventually set Tony free.

Today, Tony has traveled all over the country speaking to groups of all ages. He

is one of the most sought-after speakers in the USA. He speaks on topics of love, busi-

ness, success and self-development. He has addressed audiences for countless col-

leges and universities, major sports organizations and churches. In addition, he is finally

10

conquering his fear of flying so that he can accept the hundreds of invites from around

the globe. Tony is an author of several books and a professional life coach by day,

coaching people from all walks of life all around the globe. He is also a TV & film pro-

ducer on the rise, ghostwriter and an author/business/social media consultant. Be-

cause of his vast life experiences, Tony has become a jack-of-all-trades but a master of

service. It is his belief that as we live, we should teach. This philosophy urged him to

create online schools for people who desire to learn about love and relationships, entre-

preneurship or becoming a life coach. He also organizes and hosts retreats for those

who need to get away, have a great time, and change their lives in the process.

Tony’s story is a testament that it doesn’t matter where you come from or what

you’ve been through; if you want better for your life, then you can have it. The choice is

yours!