TM - Interpersonal Communication Rev5 2011

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TOASTMASTERSI N T E R N A T I O N A L

NTERPERSONA

COMMUNICATION

mOASTMASTERSI N T E R N A T I O N A L

Advanced Communication Series


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NTERPERSONALCOMMUNICATION

TOASTMASTERSINTERNATIONALP.O. Box 9052 Mission Viejo, CA 92690 USA

Phone: 949-858-8255 Fax: 949-858-1207

www.toastmasters .org/members0 2011 Toastmasters International. All rights reserved. Toastmasters

International, the Toastmasters International logo, and all other

Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property

ofToastmasters International and may be used only with permission.

Rev. 5/2011 Item 226M

WHERE LEADERS

ARE MADE
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CONTENTS

How to Use This Series 4Introduction 5Project 1: Conversing with Ease 6Project 2: The Successful Negotiator 11Projects: Defusin g V erba l Criticisnn 15Project 4; The Coach 19Projects: Asserting Yourself Effectively 23Appendix 27

The Role Play 27

Project Completion Record.. ., 28

Toastmasters Educational Program 29

Educational Award Requirements 30

AdvancedCommunicator(AC) Award Application 32

Complete Listing of the Advanced Communication Series 34

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HOW TO USETHIS SERIES

Each of the advanced manuals in this series assumes you already know the basics of speech -

organization, voice, gestures, etc. - but not necessarily that your skills are fully developed. Refer to

your Competent Communication manual if you need to review some of the principles of speech.These advanced manuals are designed around four principles:

The projects increase in difficulty within each manual, beginning with an overview of the

subject and then becoming more specialized as you progress.

Each subject incorporates what you have learned from the preceding ones, and it is assumed

you will use these techniques whether or not they are specifically referred to in that section.

The projects supply more information than you need to complete each particular assignment.

This will give you ideas for future talks.

It is the speech preparation and delivery that teach you, not just reading the project in

the manual,

B E S U R E T O Read each project at least twice for full understanding.

Make notes in the margin as you read.

Underline key passages.

Repeat projects as necessary until you are satisfied with your mastery ofa subject.

Ask for an evaluation discussion or panel whenever you wish, especially if few of your club

members have completed the Competent Communication manual.

Credit up to two speeches per manual given outside a Toastmasters club if:

1) your vice president education agrees in advance

2) a Toastmasters evaluator is present, completes the written project evaluation, gives a verbal

evaluation

3) you meet all project objectives.

Have your vice president education sign the Project Completion Record in this manual after you

complete each project.

Apply for Advanced Communicator Bronze, Advanced Communicator Silver, or Advanced

Communicator Gold recognition when you have completed the appropriate manuals and met

the other requirements listed in the back ofthis manual.

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INTRODUCTION

Much of yourToastmasters training to date Inas centered upon giving presentations to audiences.

You talk, they listen. There is very little interaction between you and your listeners. This type of com-

munication training is important if your work or community activities require public presentations.

Think about your daily life, however, and another kind of communication becomes equally impor-

tant. Each day you interact with many people in a variety of situations. You deal with clients at work,

your family, and your friends. You may be called upon to calm an upset customer, convince a sales

clerk to refund your money even though you don't have a receipt, persuade your daughter to clean

her room, or negotiate a raise with your employer.

Special skills are needed to successfully handle these types of situations. This manual can help

you develop them. It contains five speaking assignments that require different interpersonal com-

munication skills. In the first project, you'll learn how to start a conversation with a stranger. Project

Two requires you to negotiate using win/win strategies to achieve your goal. In the third project, you

will learn techniques to defuse a verbal criticism. In the next project, you will practice coaching some-

one who is not performing to your satisfaction. Finally, you'll learn to assert yourself effectively

All of the projects require you to work with a partner, enacting role plays. Be sure to read the

Appendix for information on role plays. Since much of your day-to-day interpersonal communication

is spontaneous, your presentations in this manual will be spontaneous, too. You will be conversingwith your partner, practicing the skills outlined in each project. You won't use notes or practice with

your partner beforehand.

These assignments are challenging, but they will provide you with valuable experience in commu-

nicating with others.

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PR OJ EC T 1

E X E C U T I V E S U M M A R Y :Being a good conversationalist has

a great impact on your personal and

professional lives. Every friendship and

business relationship youhave began

wfith a conversation. Begin conversations

with strangers by asking about the other

person or commenting on your current

mutual situation. Listen carefully to the

responses and ask appropriate follow

up questions. Questions that begin with

what, how, or why will generate more

information and more conversation

opportunities.

O B J E C T I V E S : Identify techniques to use in convers-

ing with strangers.

Recognize different levels of conver-

sation.

Initiate a conversation with a

stranger.

Use open-ended questions to solicit

information for further conversation.

Time: 10 to 14 minutes

CONVERSING WITH EASE

How do you feel when you walk into a room full of strangers? Are you unconnfortable,

anxiously scanning the crowd for a familiar face? Do you tremble at the thought of

trying to make conversation with people you don't know? Do you think others will

find you dull? Do you avoid going to parties or other gatherings just to escape these

unpleasant feelings?

Conversation is an important part of life. Talking with someone else stimulates us.

It provides new ideas and enables us to explore ideas we already have. It also fulfills a

basic need - human contact. Every friendship that has enriched our lives began with

a conversation.

Conversation also plays an important role in our success in life. Successful people

usually share a common characteristic: They can carry on a conversation with just

about anybody. Within minutes, for example, successful executives can put prospec-

tive clients and other people at ease, creating positive first impressions that enhance

their personal and professional leverage.

W H Y W E H E S IT A T ERemember when you first joined your Toastmasters club and had to give your IceBreaker speech? Most likely you were nervous about it. Such nervousness is natural.

After all, you were taking a risk in speaking about yourself to a roomful of strangers.

What if you said or did something embarrassing? What if they didn't like you? These

strangers had a great deal of power over you; their reactions to your speech had a

great impact on how you felt about yourself.

The same feelings apply when you meet someone new. You want to make a good

first impression. But in doing so you first have to make yourself vulnerable. Talking

with another person opens up the possibility of disclosing something about yourself;

the possibility exists that the other person will not respond positively.

L E V E L S O F C O M M U N I C A T I O NWhat can you do to give yourself an advantage when striking up a conversation?

Skillful conversationalists know several ways to prepare for that initial encoun-

ter. But first it's important to understand the different levels on which everyone

communicates.

L e v e l O n e : S m a l l T al k. The first level of a typical first-time communicationis "small talk." Small talk includes remarks about the weather, our immediate sur-

roundings, and current events. On the face of it this type of talk seems superficial

and meaningless, but small talk does have purpose. Once you've exchanged some

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dialogue with someone else for a minute or two, you've had a chance to make an assessment of

the other person, to decide if you have something in common and whether you'd like to carry the

conversation any further. And don't worry about any necessity for disclosure. Since you don't know

the other person, you are not expected to say or reveal anything personal about yourself, nor are

you expecting the other person to do so.

Le ve l Tw o: Fact Disc losure . Should the initial phase go well, you maywant to know your conversational partner better. Ifthis is the case with the

other person as well, the conversation will then proceed to the next level,

as you both begin to disclose facts about yourselves that are not very

personal. For example, you may tell the other person your occupation and hobbies. At this level you

usually find out ifyou have something in common. For example, you may discover that the other

person likes to ski, too, or is an engineer just like you.

Le ve l Th re e : V iewpo ints and Op inions . If both ofyou still feel positively about one another,then your conversation generally proceeds to the third level of communication. In this phase, you

share more personal viewpoints and opinions. For example, you may give your opinion about poli-

tics or mutual acquaintances.

Le ve l Fo ur : Pe rsonal Feel ings . At the fourth level, you both disclose feelings ofa more per-sonal nature than those of Level Three. For example, you may speak about the problems you are

having with one of your children and your concern for the child's future.

A successful conversation begins with the first level, proceeds at a comfortable pace through the

second and third levels, and ends in the fourth level - not necessarily at the first meeting, however.

It may take several meetings and long conversations to reach Level Four.

Now and then we've all been startled by an encounter with someone who begins at Level One

conversation, then suddenly advances to Level Four. Consider what happened to Leslie when shemet Elizabeth during a party at the home ofa mutual friend:

Leslie: Hi. My name is Leslie. I don't think we've met before, (small talk)Elizabeth: No, we haven't - I'm Elizabeth, (small talk)Leslie: Elizabeth! I'm pleased to meet you. I've heard Sharon speak about you. (fact)Elizabeth: Yes, I've known Sharon for a long time. We went to school together, (fact)Leslie: You must be good friends then, (opinion)Elizabeth: Yes. She's been a good friend and a great help to me - especially in the last six

months. I'm going through a divorce now, and it's been horrible. I wish I had never

met the man. I had no idea he could be so mean and petty This whole thing has just

been devastating, (fact and feeling)

Leslie: (awkwardly) Oh - I'm sorry...Oops! Leslie was interested in striking up a conversation with Elizabeth, not in becoming her psy-

choanalyst. But as it stands now, the acquaintance is over before it has begun. Like most ofus, Leslie

has been intimidated by the sudden shift into a Level Four conversation, and she hastily makes an

excuse and leaves.

A succe s s fu l conv e r s a t i o nbegins w i th the f i r s t l e ve l o fconn mu nicat ion - smal l t a lk .

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B e g i n n i n g a d i a l o g u ew i t h s o m e o n e y o u ' v e

ne ve r m e t b e fo r e r e q u i r e sa pos i t i ve a t t i tude .

S U C C E S S F U L C O N V E R S A T I O N SBeginning a dialogue with someone you've never met before requires a positive attitude. In order to

approach someone you've never met before, it helps not only to hold the conviction that everyone

is interesting, but that all these interesting people will find you interesting as well! Before striking up

a conversation with a total stranger, it's important to believe you can learn something from every-

one - and that you have a great deal to offer others. Read newspapers regularly and become knowl-

edgeable about current events. Being familiar with the arts, entertainment, science, and politics will

enable you to contribute to a conversation and will make you interesting to

others.

Those initial moments of conversation with a stranger will generally involve

three subjects: yourself the other person, and your current mutual situa-

tion. Since people are far more interested in themselves and their immediate

circumstances, consider those two areas as likely starting places. Begin the

conversation by asking the person's name, city of residence, or other related

information, as in the following conversation:

You: Hi! I don't believe I've seen you here at our church before. Are you a newcomer?He: Yes, this is the first time I've been here.You: Well, I'm glad you could join us today Are you new here in town?He: Yes. I just moved here from Nebraska.You: Really? I have relatives in Nebraska. By the way my name is. ..

Suppose you are at a party honoring your friend Phil, who was just promoted to vice president of

the company where he has worked for 10 years. After helping yourselfat the buffet table, you end

up standing next to another guest, and the following conversation ensues:

You: So do you work with Phil?She: No, I'm his tennis instructor.You: Oh, really? I didn't know Phil could play tennis.She: He can't!You: (laugh) How long have you been an instructor...

In both of these conversations, notice how the first person picked up on facts about the other

person and then moved the conversation into those subject areas. A good conversationalist is,

above all, a good listener. He or she has learned to wait for information that the other party will

divulge and then move the conversation into those subject areas by asking related questions.

Conversation flows naturally after that when such tactics are used.Another way to start a conversation is to offer a compliment such as, "What a beautiful necklace!

Is it an heirloom?" or "You dance very well. Have you taken lessons?" Usually the recipient will appre-

ciate your attention and respond. Just be sure your compliments are sincere. A falsely made compli-

ment is dishonest, and - if detected - you stand to make an enemy or, at the very least, develop a

rather nasty reputation!

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O P E N - E N D E D Q U E S T I O N SAs the above conversations illustrate, your first few questions most likely will require only a yes or

no answer ("Do you live around here?" "Have you been here before?"). But ask too many of these

types of questions and your conversation will be difficult, since you'll lack

the additional information that enables you to ask follow-up questions.

Instead, ask open-ended questions which are worded in such a way

that a more detailed response is necessary. Most open-ended questions

begin with the words what, how, or why. For example, instead of saying,

"Are you here on business?" (which requires only a yes or no answer), ask,

"What brings you here to St. Louis?" The respondent may then reply "I'm

here for the poultry industry convention," and you could say "Oh really?

What work do you do in the poultry industry?" Most likely the conver-

sation will continue. Likewise, rather than asking, "Does it rain much in Edinburgh?" which again

requires only a yes or no answer, revise your question to "What kind of weather do you have in

Edinburgh?" and follow up on the response with appropriate questions.

Y O U R A S S I G N M E N TThis project involves five parts. First, before the club meeting, select a partner from your club -

preferably someone whom you do not know very well - and together choose a scenario to role

play for three to five minutes. You will enact a situation in which you both meet for the first time at

a location such as a party, convention, or bus stop, and you start and carry on a conversation with

your partner. Be sure to read about role plays in the Appendix, and make sure your partner reads it,

too. You alone must initiate the conversation and establish a common interest. Do not rehearse the

conversation with your partner.

Next, for your presentation, you will present a four- to five-minute speech explaining the impor-

tance of good conversation skills and the conversational process and techniques. This will help your

audience to better understand the presentation's objectives and to evaluate the presentation. Next,you will briefly introduce the scenario you have chosen to role play and your partner. Then you

will enact the three- to five-minute scene with your partner. You will conclude with a short (two to

three minutes), informal discussion with your partner and your audience about the conversation.

You may want to ask what you could have said or done differently that would have been more

effective, if the impression you made with your conversational partner and the audience was gener-

ally favorable, and similar questions.

The in i t i a l moments o f ac o n v e r s a t i o n w i t h a s t r a n g e rge ne ra l l y i n vo l ve t h r e esub j e c t s : you r se l f , t he o the r

p e r son , and you r c u r r e n tm utua l s i t ua t i on .

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EVALUATION GUIDE FOR CONVERSING WITH EASE

Title

Evaluator Date.

Note to the Evaluator: The purpose ofthis project is for the speaker to enact a role play with another member inwhich the two meet as strangers and the speaker begins a conversation. The circumstance under which they meet

as strangers (a party, convention, etc.) is determined by the speaker and the speaker's partner. The speaker was first to

give a brief speech about the importance of good conversational skills, and the conversational process and techniques

(to help the audience to better understand the presentation's objectives and to evaluate the presentation). Then the

speaker was to introduce the role play scenario and the partner, then conduct the role play, initiating a conversation and

establishing a common interest with the other person. Finally, the speaker was to lead a brief discussion with the part-

ner and the audience about the role play. It is suggested you read the entire project before the presentation. In addition

to your oral evaluation, please give written responses to the questions below.

How well did the speaker explain the value of conversational skills and different conversational techniques?

How effectively did the speaker initiate the conversation?

How did the speaker establish a common interest with the other person?

How effectively did the speaker use open-ended questions to carry on the conversation?

How did the speaker advance from one level to another? (The levels are small talk, fact disclosure, viewpoints and

opinions, personal feelings.)

How comfortable did the speaker appear to be in the conversation?

What could the speaker have said differently that may have been more effective?

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PR OJ EC T 1

E X E CUT IV E SUMMARY :Negotiations are successful when both

parties m k away pleased. This is a "win-

win" negotiation, and you can reach it

when you know what both you and the

other party want and the reasons you

both want them. Then generate a list

of options that will benefit you and the

other party, present them to the other

party, and discuss them until a mutually

satisfactory agreement is reached. Be

honest, direct, and appreciative.

O B J E C T I V E S : Employ win/win negotiating strate-

gies to achieve your goals.

Enjoy the benefits of win/win

negotiating.


J o n e g o t i a t e s u c c e s s f u l l y , y o um u s t t h o r o u g h l y u n d e r s t a n d

t h e c o n f l i c t o r p r o b l e m .

THE SUCCESSFULNEGOTIATORYou meet with a vendor to discuss a contract, ask your boss for a raise, rent an apart-

ment, or discuss with friends where to go for lunch. Every day in some way you work

out agreements with people. Yet too often we accept too much without question.

Price tags can be changed, leases and policies can be flexible. Anything is negotiable

if you are willing to take the necessary risks. Negotiating is a skill, and - like any skill -

it can be learned.

T Y P E S O F N E G O T I A T I O N SMost negotiations end in one of these ways:

W i n - W i n . Both parties come out of the negotiation satisfied, knowing that neitherhas taken advantage of the other and that both have profited personally and pro-

fessionally from the transaction.

Win-Lose . One party wins at the other's expense. The successful negotiator feelsgood about the negotiation, but the other doesn't.

Lose-Lose. Both parties reach an agreement, but neither feels good about theoutcome.

The first outcome is the most productive and practical. In win/win negotiations,

both parties are aware of the other's needs and wants, and actually work to fulfill

those needs and wants. Each party is willing to give up a certain amount in order to

achieve the desired results. When the negotiating is finished, both parties walk away

as pleased and contented friends.

Negotiating a win/win situation requires that you know your priorities, the other

party's priorities, and the options and areas in which you will be able to compromise.

K N O W I N G W H A T Y O U W A N TTo negotiate successfully, you first must have a thorough understanding of the con-flict or problem you are trying to resolve. Perhaps your business is booming and you

need to expand your office space; you would like to lease a neighboring office, but it

1 is already occupied. Or you want to vacation in the Caribbean, while your

spouse prefers skiing in Europe. Maybe you could use a salary increase. Or

perhaps your friend is demanding too much of your time lately and you

would like some time to yourself. When you have clearly identified the

conflict or problem, you will be able to start resolving it.

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y-p V W h e n you m a ke an e f fo r tf ^ t o und e r s t and and e m p a-

th ize w i th the pos i t ion o fthe o the r par ty , i t ' s eas ie r

to es tab l i sh rapp or t .

K N O W I N G W H A T T H E O T H E R P A R T Y W A N T SOnce you know your own position, you must learn the other party's position. What does the other

party want or need? What is the point of view? Perhaps the occupants of the office space you

would lil


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N E G O T I A T I N G T I P SThe other party will be more likely to consider your requests ifyou do the following:

Break the ice.Take the time to establish a friendly relationship before you begin negotiationproceedings. Make small talk and establish positive feelings about one another.

Use "I" statements. Say, "I would like you to consider this. .."or"l need your help.. ."Remember,you are the one who has the problem and needs the help of the other person.

Be honest and direct. Don't waste your energy being devious. Chances are the other party willsee through you, resulting in a loss of your own credibility as well as the other person's respect.

Show appreciation. Recognize what the other person has done for you or will be doing foryou. Smile and express your thanks!

Stick to the issue. Don't wander off the subject or allow the other party to direct the discussionto different issues.

Time your discussion. Make your meeting as convenient as possible for everyone involved.Meet in a neutral place or at the place of the other party's choosing. Consider a morning meet-

ing, since most people are more energetic and open to new ideas at that time. Avoid meeting

after lunch or late in the day when energy levels tend to drop.

Y O U R A S S I G N M E N TThis project consists offive parts. First, before the club meeting, you will select a partner with

whom you will together choose a scenario to role play for three to five minutes. You will play the

part ofa person who wants or needs something from the other person and is negotiating to get

it, using the techniques outlined in this project. Your partner will play the role of the person who is

reluctant to fulfill your request. Again, you and your partner may choose the scenario. Perhaps you

want a raise from your boss, or a better price on a new car. But do

not rehearse. Be sure to read about role plays in the Appendix, andmake sure your partner reads it, too.

For your presentation, you will present a four- to five-minute

speech about the negotiation process. This will help your audience

to better understand the presentation's objectives and to evaluate

the presentation. Next, you will briefly introduce the scenario you

have chosen to role play and your partner. Then you will enact the three- to five-minute scene with

your partner.

You will conclude with a short (two to three minutes), informal discussion with your partner

and your audience about the negotiation process which took place. You may want to ask what

you could have said or done differently that would have been more effective and other similar

questions.

R e m a i n o p e n - m i n d e d . D o n ' t

d i scount any idea jus t because i twasn ' t you r s o r b e cause i t ap p e a r s

im p ra c t i c a l on t he su r f a ce .



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EVALUATION GUIDE FOR THE SUCCESSFUL NEGOTIATOR

Title

Evaluator Date

Note to the Evaluator: The purpose ofthis project is for the speaker to enact a role play with another member, withthe speaker negotiating to receive something he or she wants. The speaker and the partner may select the situation

of their choice. The speaker was first to give a brief speech explaining the negotiation process (to help the audience to

better understand the role play's objectives and to evaluate it). Then the speaker was to introduce the role play scenario

and the partner and conduct the role play. Finally the speaker was to lead a brief discussion with the partner and the

audience about the role play It is suggested you read the entire project before the presentation. In addition to your oral

evaluation, please give written responses to the questions below.

How clearly did the speaker explain the negotiation process?

How did the speaker break the ice and establish a good relationship with the other party?

How effectively did the speaker address the needs and wants of the other party?

Did the speaker clearly indicate his or her wants and needs and the reasons for them?

Did the speaker achieve his or her goal?

What could the speaker have said or done differently to be more effective?

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PR OJ EC T 1

E X E CUT IV E SUMMARY :A few communication techniques can

turn an angry confrontation into a

positive, calm discussion. The secret is

to avoid being defensive, and to follow;

these steps: Listen to the other person;

acknowledge the criticism; ask ques-

tions; paraphrase to reflect what the

other person is feeling or thinking; and

agree with the truth. As you talk, remain

calm, don't take anything personally,

use non-verbal listening skills, and show

respect for the other person.

O B J E C T I V E S : Respond non-defensively to verbal

criticism.

Employ a five-step method to identify

the problem, defuse the attack, and

arrive at a solution.

Time: lOto 14 minutes

DEFUSING VERBALCRITICISM"You forgot our anniversary. You really don't care about me, do you?"

"The way you run your business is deplorable."

"You have no idea what you are talking about."

"How could you get us into this mess?"

Angry statements and accusations such as these generally indicate the beginning

of an argument, Arguments are inevitable. After all, no one can agree with others all

of the time. But conflicts can actually be healthy. People who are capable of express-

ing their differences without becoming hostile are less likely to suffer from emotional

and physical stress and have a much better chance of resolving problems to the sat-

isfaction of both parties. Moreover, criticism helps us recognize our flaws and correct

them, making us better people.

Being accused of forgetfulness or ignorance, however, doesn't seem to be the

right way to begin a "productive" conflict. After all, when you are criticized harshly, it's

easy to become defensive. You feel obligated to prove your criticizer wrong, and from

there the conflict only escalates. But by using a few simple communication tech-

niques, you actually do have the power to turn the criticism into a positive discussion.

Before applying these techniques, however, it's important to first understand why

it's so easy to become defensive when criticized.

I M A G E SHow you handle criticism is related to the way in which you perceive yourself and the

way in which you would like others to perceive you.

The way in which you perceive yourselfis called self-image. Your self-image con-sists of the beliefs and values you have about life and living in general - what is good,

bad, right, or wrong. Formed in your childhood, this self-image is bestowed on you

by your parents, teachers, friends, and family. If you received positive treatment from

these people, you developed a healthy self-esteem and self-worth and a positive

self-image.

The way in which you would like others to perceive you is called your publ icimage . Most likely you try to present a favorable public image. You want others tothink of you in a particular way - honest, knowledgeable, patient, funny, helpful - and

so you try to make your actions reflect these characteristics.

When people criticize you, they are making judgments that most likely conflict

with either your self-image or public image. Being called a cheater, for example, may

cause you to become defensive because you have always considered yourself honest

and were raised to be honest. On the other hand, you will probably become even

more defensive if there is some truth to the attacker's accusation and you do have a

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flaw. You respond to the attack by disputing tine other person's comments and trying to reinstate

your favorable public and self-images,

R E S P O N D I N G T O C R I T IC I S MVerbal criticism may be responded to in one of four ways.

Withdrawing. Sometimes you may opt to accept the criticism silently, without a verbalizedresponse. You may even get up and leave the room. The rewards ofsuch responses, however, are

limited. Although the conflict does not escalate, you end up losing self-respect as well as self-

esteem because you did not stand your ground and defend yourself

Rationalizing. The strategy behind this method is initially to admit the merit of the criticism, thenquickly follow with an explanation of why you behaved that way or said the words that brought

about the criticism, i.e., "Darling, I've been so busy at work that I'm afraid our anniversary simply

slipped my mind." Unfortunately, by the time you've spun out your rationalization to its conclusion,

the other person has usually had more than enough time to find holes in your response,

Counterattacking. Trying to divert negative attention from yourself and your faults to the criti-cizer and his or her faults is another common technique. ("Why, I've been running this business forover 15 years. I have heard many complaints about your service and products but never one about

mine.") Counterattacking only escalates the conflict and avoids the real issues.

Responding non-defensively. In this method, you listen non-judgmentally and calmly to theattacker, recognizing the person's need to communicate regarding a problem. The problem is deter-

mined and then you begin working with the speaker to resolve it. This option is obviously the most

productive and rewarding, but it also requires the most effort on your part.

The following steps may be used in responding non-defensively:

L i s t e n non- j ud gm e nta l l yand ca lm ly to the a t tacke r ,

r e cogn i z i ng t he p e r son ' sn e e d t o c o m m u n i c a t er e ga rd ing a p rob l e m .

Listen. Usually we tend to take criticism at face value. In any conflict, however, alot offeeling may be buried beneath the spoken words. It is important to listenwith an open mind to those words and ask questions to find out the feelings

they may be hiding. Once these feelings have been addressed, it will be easier

to determine the issues and resolve the conflict. Remember the example of the

forgetful spouse? In such an exchange, it is easy to assume that the matter of the

forgotten anniversary is the primary issue. But ifa discussion is pursued, the real

issues come to light. The forgotten date, as it turns out, is no match for concern over those long work

hours that the other person has spent away from household responsibilities.

Acknowledge . Indicate to your criticizer that you recognize the criticism. Acknowledging criticismdoes not mean you accept or agree with its content; rather you are simply recognizing that the

other party has opinions and feelings that deserve consideration. This helps your criticizer feel he orshe is being listened to, and aids in reducing anger. So instead of acting on the defensive, the errant

spouse might acknowledge that by saying, "I sense that you are hurt because I forgot our anniver-

sary." Be careful about your tone ofvoice, facial expressions and gestures, when acknowledging

criticism. Any hint of sarcasm or disbelief puts you back on the defensive and makes the criticizer

angrier. But if the criticizer feels you are sincere and concerned about resolving the conflict - and

not just with pacification - your words will signal that it is acceptable to discuss these feelings.

Ask questions. Suppose your spouse responds, "Yes, I am hurt that you forgot our anniversary.You always forget things." It becomes apparent to you that the forgotten anniversary is not the



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only reason she is upset, but you don't know what the other reasons could be. You need more

information. Ask questions. "I must have forgotten other things lately. What did I forget?" Again,

sincerity is vital.

Paraphrase. Use your own words to reflect what the other person is feeling or thinking. This givesthe criticizer the opportunity to clarify his or her own thoughts and feelings and to correct you if

you are wrong, and it enables you to learn more about the problem. For example, you could reiter-

ate your spouse's list of things you have recently forgotten: "I forgot Jimmy's birthday, neglected to

pay the mortgage last month, and forgot to take Andrea to the dentist." Paraphrasing shows the

other person you are really listening.

Agree with the truth. If the criticism has merit, why not say so? To deny the facts would onlyincrease your criticizer's anger. "Yes, I see that I have been somewhat forgetful lately." But you do not

have to agree with the criticizer's interpretation of the facts. For example, ifyour spouse states that

because you are forgetful, you no longer care about the family, it is not incumbent on your part to

accept this interpretation or judgement.

By the time you have reached this final step, the real issue or problem is being addressed, and

you are able to discuss possible solutions to the problem with the other party.

Keep these tips in mind during the conflict:

Remain calm. A non-defensive response means you must keep calm and serene as you are

being criticized.

Don't take it personally. Your criticizer may call you names or accuse you of outrageous actions;

remember, this may simply be evidence of irrational or over-emotional thinking.

Use non-verbal listening skills. Smile, lean toward the speaker, nod, murmur acknowledgment,

and maintain eye contact. All of these show the speaker you are listening.

Show respect for your opponent. Even if the person is screaming or shouting at you, acknowl-

edge the anger and frustration by calmly saying, "It's clear this is really upsetting to you. Let's tryto talk about it."

Y O U R A S S I G N M E N TThis project involves five parts. First, before the club meeting, you will select a partner from your

club and together choose a scenario to role play for three to five minutes. Your partner will verbally

criticize you, and you must determine the reason for the criticism and defuse it. For example, you

recently received a promotion. Your co-worker is angry because she thinks you took credit for one

of her ideas and received the promotion as a result, although she hasn't said so directly. Or you

could be a salesclerk dealing with an unhappy customer. Using the techniques above, you will

determine the underlying reason for the criticism, then defuse it. Do not rehearse the role play with

your partner. Be sure to read the Appendix for information about role playing, and make sure your

partner reads it too.

Next, for your presentation, you will give a four- to five-minute speech about the process of

defusing criticism. This will help your audience to better understand the role play's objectives and

to evaluate it. You will briefly introduce the scenario you have chosen to role play and your partner.

Then you will enact the three- to five-minute scene with your partner.

You will conclude with a short (two to three minutes), informal discussion with your partner and

your audience about the conversation that took place. You may want to ask what you could have

said or done differently that would have been more effective and other similar questions.



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EVALUATION GUIDE FOR DEFUSING VERBAL CRITICISM

Title

Evaluator Date

Note to the Evaluator: The purpose ofthis project is for the speaker to role play with another member, responding to,determining the cause of and defusing verbal criticism. The speaker and partner may select the role-play scenario of

their choice. The speaker was first to give a brief speech explaining how to handle verbal criticism (to help the audience

to better understand the role play's objectives and to evaluate it). Then the speaker was to introduce the role play sce-

nario and the partner and conduct the role play Finally, the speaker was to lead a brief discussion with the partner and

the audience about the role play It is suggested you read the entire project before the presentation. In addition to your

oral evaluation, please give written responses to the questions below.

How effectively did the speaker explain how to handle verbal criticism?

Did the speaker respond non-defensively to the criticism?

How did the speaker indicate he or she was listening to the criticism with an open mind?

How did the speaker determine the reason(s) for the criticism?

Was the speaker able to discuss a solution with the criticizer?

What could the speaker have said or done differently that would have been more effective?



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PROJECT 1

E X E C U T I V E S U M M A R Y :Coaching is an opportunity to help

someone do their best. In your coaching

session, describe the reason for the

discussion, your concern, and the impact

the performance has on you and others.

Acknowledge and listen to the other

person, and ask theiropinion on ways to

improve performance. Discuss solutions

and reach a mutual agreement. Be sure

to follow up on the person's progress and

praise positive results.

O B J E C T I V E S : Determine reasons for someone's

substandard performance.

Coach the person to improved

performance.


THE COACH

T h r o u g h c o a c h i n g , p e o p l el e a r n w h a t is e x p e c t e do f t h e m , t h e i r c u r r e n t

p e r f o r m a n c e l e v e l , a n dw h e r e t h e y m u s t i m p r o v e .

An employee is continually late with weekly reports. Your son is not doing his chores

to the best of his ability. The vice president membership ofyourToastmasters club

has not been mailing new member applications to World Headquarters, so the new

members have not been receiving the Toastmaster magazine or the New Member Kits.

For whatever reason, the work that needs to be done is not being done, or is not

being done to your satisfaction. If you want it done and done properly, you need to

coach or counsel the people responsible for doing the work.

B E N E F I T S O F C O A C H IN GWhen people function efficiently and effectively, everyone benefits. Your job,

whether it is as employer, parent, or club president, is easier. Responsibilities are

shared, tasks are completed properly, and productivity increases. People feel good

about themselves because they are working to the best of their abilities. Everyone

feels part ofa team. They know what they are supposed to do, how they are sup-

posed to do it, and how their work affects achievement of the group's goals.

Coaching plays an important part in helping people function efficiently and

effectively. Through coaching, people learn what is expected of them, their current

performance level, and where they must improve - important information

they need to do their best. Coaching is your opportunity to help someone do

their best.

W H E R E T O S T A R TBefore you speak with the person whose performance is unsatisfactory, you

must do some research. Usually people don't perform well for one of these

reasons:

Poor training. Nobody ever showed them or told them how to do the work properly.

Inadequate equipment. They don't have the right materials or equipment.

Time. They don't have the time to do the work properly.

Motivation. They feel overworked and underappreciated or are unhappy with

the job, co-workers, management, friends, or family. They are not motivated to

perform.

You must determine which of these reasons applies to the situation. Asking your-

self the following questions may help you determine which reason applies, whether

coaching is needed to solve the problem and, if it is, what your coaching session

should address.

INTERPERSONAL COMM UNICATION 19


22/38

Does the person know what is supposed to be done and when? If not, you will need to tell

him or her.

What is the specific difference between the present performance level and the desired perfor-

mance level? The person needs to know what he or she must do to perform satisfactorily.

Does the person know his or her performance is not satisfactory? If not, provide feedback.

Does the person have the skills required to do the job? If not, he or she will need training.

Is the performance standard realistic? If it is not, no one will be able to perform to your

expectations.

What impact does the performance problem have?The person should know how poor

performance affects others.

Does the person have adequate resources to do the job? If not, provide them.

Are obstacles beyond the person's control affecting performance? Ifso, remove the obstacles

and performance most likely will improve.

Does positive performance yield positive rewards? If the person performs well and receives an

undesirable reward for doing so (twice as much work to do in less time, for example), the per-

son's incentive to perform decreases.

Could the person do the job if he or she wanted to? If not, coaching will not help.

Once you have analyzed the situation and decided that the person could perform to your expec-

tations if he or she really wanted to, you are ready to begin your coaching session.

T H E C O A C H I N G S E S S I O NYour coaching session will be more successful ifyou hold it in a private place where you will not be

overheard. Only you and the other person should be present. Make sure you will not be interrupted,

and allow plenty of time for discussion. Focus on the situation at hand. Be warm and friendly calm

and positive. Greet the person with a smile, and begin the session.

1. Describe specifically the reason for the discussion. For example, you could say to your vicepresident membership, "Julie, I would like to discuss Applications for Membership with you."

2. Express your concern abou t the area of performan ce you wo uld l ike improved. "Our newmembers have not been receiving their magazines and manuals for months after they have paid

their dues and completed the applications for membership. Apparently their applications are not

being sent to World Headquarters right away."

3. Describe the impact the perfo rman ce prob lem has on you an d others. "This means all ofthese new members don't receive their Competent Communication and Competent Leadership

manuals and other materials as quickly as they should. When members don't have the manuals,

they have difficulty preparing and presenting projects. Some of them get discouraged and leave

the club."

4. Ack now ledg e and l isten to the other person. The person may apologize, offer excuses, andoffer to do better. Listen to whatever is said.

5. Seek the person's opinion on way s to improve perfo rmance. "What can be done to getthose membership applications mailed within two hours after you receive them?"



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W o r k t o g e t h e r t o d e v e l o p aW l is t of po ss ib le solut ions, an d

d iscuss the mer i t s o f ea ch one .

6. Discuss solutions. Work with the person to develop a list of possible solutions, and discuss themerits of each one. Offer suggestions when appropriate, but build on the person's ideas when

possible. "Keeping a supply of postage stamps and envelopes on hand would be a good idea,

I agree."

7. Agree on a solution and actions to be taken. "So we agree: Tomorrow you will buy envelopesand postage stamps. As soon as you receive a membership application, and the check from thetreasurer, you put them in one of the envelopes, attach a stamp, and mail it on your way home

from the club meeting."

8. Follow up. Ensure accountabil ity by checking progress withthe person. "Did you have any trouble buying those stamps andenvelopes?"

9. Praise positive results. "Roberto and Ellen told me they receivedtheir manuals last week. Thank you for sending in their applications

so quickly. I really appreciate your efforts to send in applications

promptly."

As you coach, remember to:

Keep your feedback related to behavior. Avoid judgments by describing rather than evaluating

behavior. Say, "New member applications haven't been sent in as quickly as they should be," not

"You aren't doing your job."

Use "1"statements rather then "you"statements to reduce defensiveness. Say, "I'm concerned that

our new members get their manuals quickly," not "You don't understand this, do you?"

Speak calmly. Use unemotional language, tone, and gestures. Say, "I'm sure that with the enve-

lopes and stamps on hand, you'll find it much easier to send in these applications," not "Now

you'll finally be able to do your job."

Y O U R A S S I G N M E N TThis project has five parts. First, before the club meeting, you will select a partner from your club

and together choose a scenario to role play for three to five minutes. You will play the role of the

coach, and the other person will be the person whose performance is unsatisfactory. You may

select the scenario of your choice. For example, you could play a sales manager whose star sales-

man's performance has faltered. Your partner could play the star salesman. Using the methods

outlined in this project, conduct a coaching session. Be sure to read the material on role plays in the

Appendix and make sure your partner reads it, too, but do not rehearse.

Next, for your presentation, you will present a four- to five-minute speech about the coaching

process (this will help your audience to better understand the presentation's objectives and to

evaluate the presentation). You will briefly (one minute) introduce the scenario you have chosen to

role play and your partner. Then you will enact the three- to five-minute scene with your partner.

Finally, you will conclude with a short (two to three minutes), informal discussion with your

partner and your audience about the coaching process which took place. You may want to ask

what you could have said or done differently that would have been more effective and other similar

questions.

21 INTERPERSONAL CO MMUN ICATION


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EVALUATION GUIDE FOR THE COACH

Title

Evaluator Date.

Note to the Evaluator: The purpose ofthis project was for the speaker to enact a role play with another member, withthe speaker coaching a person whose performance has not been satisfactory. The speaker and the partner may select

the situation ofhis or her choice. The speaker was first to give a brief speech explaining the coaching process (to help

the audience to better understand the role play's objectives and to evaluate it). Then the speaker was to introduce the

role play scenario and the partner and conduct the role play. Finally, the speaker was to lead a brief discussion with the

partner and the audience about the role play. It is suggested you read the entire project before the presentation. In

addition to your oral evaluation, please give written responses to the questions below.

How clearly did the speaker explain the coaching process?

What was preventing the person from performing satisfactorily? How did the speaker determine this reason?

How effectively did the speaker begin the coaching session?

How did the speaker work with the person to arrive at a solution?

Did the speaker focus on describing behavior rather than evaluating or judging it?

How did the speaker avoid putting the person on the defensive?

How effective was the coaching session? Ifyou were the person being coached, would you be motivated to

improve?



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PR OJ EC T 1

E X E C U T I V E S U M M A R Y :Asserting yourself effectively is a chal-

lenging communication skill because

you must express yourown concerns

and feelings calmly without making the

otherperson defensive. First, state the

problem and tell your feelings. Specify a

solution and describe the positive con-

sequences that will happen ifthe other

person fulfills yourrequest. Speak up

immediately and don't let the problem

fester. Be direct, friendly, and calm.

O B J E C T I V E S : Enjoy the mental and physical

benefits ofbeing assertive.

Employ the four-step method for

addressing a problem and asking

for help.

Overcome resistance to your requests.


Th e f i r s t s t e p i n a s se r t i n gy o u r s e l f e f f e c t i v e l y i s t o

r e a l i z e t h e p r o b l e m y o u a r ee x p e r i e n c i n g is y o u r o w n .

ASSERTING YOURSELFEFFECTIVELYA co-worker makes distracting noises while chewing her gum as you attempt to

concentrate on a project wi th a fast approaching deadline. Your son continues to

leave the milk carton on the table instead of returning it to the refrigerator. Yesterday

the painter applied too much paint on the front door, and today you can see the

unattractive rivulets that have dried down its length. Then there's the repairman

who insists your washing machine is fixed, despite the loud sgueals you hear each

time it runs a cycle.

How do you handle such situations? Do you try to ignore the gum-chewer, grit-

ting your teeth all the while, or do you scream, "Jenny, you sound like a cow! Can't

you be quiet?" Do you return the milk to the refrigerator, even though your child is

perfectly capable of doing so himself, or do you lose control and shout, "How many

times have I told you to put the milk away when you're through?" Do you sand off

the excess paint on the front door, or do you telephone the painter and accuse him

of shoddy workmanship? Do you shut the door to the laundry room so you can't

hear the washing machine, or do you angrily tell the repairman he doesn't know

what he is doing?

Ignoring problems, fixing them yourself, and losing your temper are all typical

responses to stressful situations. But while the first two approaches may solve prob-

lems on a short-term basis, long-term negative effects are likely to follow. Anger and

resentment tend to build up over time, and repressed anger can lead to physical and

emotional problems such as headaches, ulcers, and depression. On the other hand,

losing your temper, making threats, shouting, and calling someone names only puts

the offending parties on the defensive and incites uncooperative behavior.

Asserting yourself effectively is probably one of the most challenging

communication skills. If you do not have the right attitude and verbal

skills, you will do more harm than good.

The first step in asserting yourself effectively is to realize the problem

you are experiencing is your own. For example, the gum-chewer herself

I isn't distracted by the noise she makes; on the contrary, each day she is

able to complete her work satisfactorily as she smacks away on her gum.

It's YOU who is bothered and has difficulty meeting a deadline because of her habit.

Likewise, your son experiences no problem when he leaves the milk on the counter.

YOU are the one who is annoyed and inconvenienced by making a special trip to the

grocery store and spending extra money after the milk spoils.

Instead of blaming, judging, or attacking the other person and putting that

person on the defensive, how about expressing your own concerns and feelings and

then asking for the other person's help? Try this approach:



26/38

State the problem. Describe the problem or situation and behavior that is bothering you. In thecase of the gum chewing co-worker, you could say, "Jenny, Ms. Matthews asked that I have this

report ready for her by 2:00 p.m. I'm trying to complete it, but I'm distracted and can't think when

you chew gum."

Tell you r feelings. Next, explain to the other party how the problem affects you. For example,you could say to Jenny, "I'm worried that I won't finish this report by 2:00 p.m. and Ms. Matthewswill be angry."

Specify a solution. State what you would like done. This would mean asking Jenny in a firm andnon-hostile tone ofvoice, "Could you please stop chewing gum until I am finished?"

Describe the consequences. Finally, mention the positive consequences that will happen ifthe other person fulfills your request. Regarding the gum-popping Jenny, your conclusion could

go something like this: "Ifyou stop, it will help me focus on my work so I can finish on time. Ms.

Matthews will be pleased, too."

T I P SYour efforts at assertiveness will be most effective ifyou follow a few simple rules.

Speak up immediately. Don't wait for hours, days, or weeks before approaching the other party

about your problem. Dealing with the problem immediately will be less stressful and more

productive. Speaking with Jenny right away about her gum-chewing will give you more time to

complete your report.

Be direct. Merely telling Jenny that you can't concentrate when it is so noisy may not have the

effect you want. Jenny may not realize she makes distracting noises while chewing gum. She

may think you are annoyed with Fred because of some noise he is making. State the specific

problem and what the other party can do to remedy it.

Be pleasant. A smile and friendly tone of voice will make others more willing to do what youwould like them to do.

Be calm. Maintaining your composure will also help to maintain your credibility and to attract

the sympathy of the other party. Again, if you act outraged or offend the other parties, they will

not want to help you.

W H E N T H E O T H E R P A R T Y R E S I S T SIn most situations, using the above method will solve the problem. Occasionally, however, the other

person may not comprehend your problem or may take offense despite your best efforts.

For example, after asking Jenny to stop chewing gum, she may respond, "I can't help it. You

know I'm trying to quit smoking, and chewing gum helps me fight the urge to have a cigarette." Or

she may respond, "Well, you drum your fingers on your desk and it drives everybody here crazy."

In the first response, although Jenny has acknowledged your problem, she is apparently more

concerned with her own personal problem (trying to quit smoking) than she is with your problem

(trying to get your work done). In the second response, she has become defensive, avoided the

issue, and attacked you. Neither response addresses your request.

The only way to resolve the situation is to continue delivering your message until it is received,

understood and acted upon to your satisfaction. This may mean repeating your request.

For example, when Jenny states that chewing gum helps her to fight the urge to smoke, try

responding calmly with, "I know you are trying really hard to quit smoking. But I need to finish this

report for Ms. Matthews."



27/38

Suppose Jenny retorts, "That's an easy request for you to nnake. But I can't go for three hours

without doing something to control the urge to smoke." Or perhaps she has informed you that,

"Not chewing gum will make me miserable." Manipulative attempts such as these are a smoke

screen, and it's important that you keep the conversation to the issue at hand: your work. Instead

of being diverted respond by stating, "I understand how uncomfortable you may be. But Ms.

Matthews needs this report by 2:00 p.m."Continue repeating your message until the other party acknowledges

what you have said and complies with your request.

Y O U R A S S I G N M E N TThis project consists offive parts. First, before the club meeting, you will

select a partner with whom you will choose a scenario to role play for three

to five minutes. You will assume the part ofa person asserting yourself regarding some service

received or an event experienced. The other person will play the part of the person responsible for

your dissatisfaction. Emphasize to your partner to resist your initial request; to get what you want,

your challenge will be to break down the other person's resistance.

For example, your partner could play the part ofa person in a movie theater who continually

talks during the show, whereas you will take on the role of the person seated in front, annoyed

because you cannot hear the movie. Or perhaps your partner could play a waiter or waitress at an

expensive restaurant, and you are experiencing poor service. Be sure to read the Appendix for infor-

mation on role playing and make sure your partner reads it, too, but do not rehearse.

Next, for your presentation, you will present a four- to five-minute speech about the assertive-

ness process (this will help your audience to better understand the role play's objectives and to

evaluate it). Next, you will briefly introduce the scenario you have chosen to role play and your

partner. Then you will enact the three- to five-minute scene with your partner.

Finally you will conclude with a short (two to three minutes), informal discussion with your

partner and your audience about the assertiveness session which took place. You may want to askwhat you could have said or done differently that would have been more effective and other similar

questions.

M a i n t a i n in g y o u r c o m p o s u r ewi l l he lp you mainta in your

c red ib i l i t y and to a t t ra c t thes ym p a thy o f t he o the r p a r t y .

25 INTERPERSON AL COMM UNICATION


28/38

EVALUATION GUIDE FOR ASSERTING YOURSELF EFFECTIVELY

Title

Evaluator Date

Note to the Evaluator: The purpose ofthis project is for the speaker to enact a role play with another member, withthe speaker verbalizing dissatisfaction with a situation and the other member being the party responsible for the situa-

tion who is reluctant to do as the speaker requests. The speaker and the partner may select the scenario of their choice.

The speaker was first to give a brief speech explaining how to express dissatisfaction effectively (to help the audience to

better understand the role play's objectives and to evaluate it). Then the speaker was to introduce the role play scenario

and the partner and conduct the role play. Finally, the speaker was to lead a brief discussion with the partner and the

audience about the role play. It is suggested you read the entire project before the presentation. In addition to your oral

evaluation, please give written responses to the questions below.

How well did the speaker explain how to express dissatisfaction effectively?

How effectively did the speaker follow the four-step method when addressing the problem?

Did the speaker clearly state the problem and the remedy?

Ifyou were the other person, would you want to fulfill the speaker's request?

> How did the speaker overcome the resistance?



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A P P E N D I X

THE ROLE PLAY

In a role play, you are asked to pretend to be yourself, or another person, in a par-

ticular situation. You are asked to behave as you feel you (or the other person) would

under the circumstances.

You may think this sounds like acting, but it is not. An actor's goal is to bring to life

the writer's ideas in order to influence and entertain an audience. In a role play, the

people involved are not concerned with the audience, only with themselves. Their

goal is to think, react, and behave as closely as possible to the way someone placed

in that particular situation would think, react, and behave.

A role play contains two basic elements: a scenario and a set of role descriptions.

The scenario is the situation or environment in which the role play takes place, and it

may include the constraints in place.

For example, one scenario could be: You have worked for several years for a small

company that recently landed a multi-million dollar contract. You want to ask your

supervisor for a raise. The role descriptions involved would be those for you and your

supervisor. You are defined as a hard-working employee who puts in many extra

hours making sure the job is done properly Your supervisor is defined as penny-

pinching and somewhat threatened by you, since your work is so outstanding.Working with this scenario, you must approach the subject ofa pay increase with

your supervisor on the basis of your defined role, and your partner must respond as

your supervisor within that defined role. Both of you must deal appropriately with

whatever responses are given by the other. After the role play is over, you can ana-

lyze the interaction and identify what you could have said or done differently that

would have been more effective.

The purpose ofa role play is to give you the opportunity to learn and practice

interacting with others in a non-threatening environment; the role play projects in

this manual give you the chance to study and practice the skills needed to handle

challenging real-life interpersonal communication situations. Role plays benefit

everyone: They help you to understand others better, and the audience can observe

the interaction and draw lessons from it as well.

For each of the projects in this manual, you will participate in a role play For most

of the projects, you and your partner will select the situation or scenario in which the

role play takes place and define each participant's role.

You may not rehearse the role play or discuss it in any other manner. Your

behavior and words during the actual presentation before the club should be

spontaneous.



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PROJECT COMPLETION RECORD INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

P R O J E C T S P E E C H T I T LE DATE V I C E P R E S I D E N TE D UCAT IO N ' S IN IT IALS

1. Conversing With Ease

2. The Successful Negotiator

3. Defusing Verbal Criticism

4. The Coach

5. Asserting Yourself Effectively

Save this page to verify your completion of the projects in this manual. Submit the Project Completion Record formfrom the appropriate manuals when applying for the Advanced Communicator Bronze, Advanced Communicator Silver,

or Advanced Communicator Gold awards.



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TOASTMASTERS

EDUCATION PROGRAM

he Toastmasters education program consists of two tracks - a connmunication track and a leadership

rack. You are encouraged to participate in both tracks. The two tracks are not mutually exclusive, and you

an work in both at the same time. Both provide recognition for specific accomplishments. The awards

nd their requirements appear on the next page. The diagram below shows the award progression in

ach track.

L E A D E R S H I P T R A C K

NewMember

AdvancedLeader Bronze AdvancedLeader Silver

h DTMCompetentCommunicator

AdvancedCommunicatorBronzeAdvancedCommunicatorSilver

AdvancedCommunicatorGold

C O M M U N I C A T I O N T R A C K



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EDUCATIONAL

AWARD REQUIREMENTS

TOASTMASTERSI N T E R N A T I O N A L

Following are the awards you can earn in each track and a brief explanation of its requirennents. For complete

details about requirennents, see the actual award applications.

COMMUNICATION TRACK

C O M P E T E N T C O M M U N I C A T O R ( C C )Requirements: Completed the Competent Communication manual

When the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the CC application online, or send the

completed and signed CC application attached to the Project Completion Record from the manual to World Headquarters.

You'll Receive: A certificate, two Advanced Communication Series manuals free of charge (first time applicants only), and a letterto employer

A D V A N C E D C O M M U N I C A T O R B R O N Z E ( A C B )Requirements: Achieved Competent Communicator award (or achieved Competent Toastmaster award)

Completed two manuals from the Advanced Communication Series

When the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the ACB application online, or send the

completed and signed ACB application attached to the Project Completion Records from each manual to World Headquarters.

You'll Receive: A certificate and a letter to employer

A D V A N C E D C O M M U N I C A T O R S I L V E R ( A C S )Requirements: Achieved Advanced Communicator Bronze award (or achieved Able Toastmaster award or Advanced Toastmaster

Bronze award)

Completed two additional manuals from the Advanced Communication Series

Conducted any two presentations from The Better Speaker Series and/or The Successful Club Series

When the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the ACS application online, or send the

completed and signed ACS application attached to the Project Completion Records from each manual to World Headquarters.

You'll Receive: A certificate and a letter to employer

A D V A N C E D C O M M U N I C A T O R G O L D ( A C G )Requirements: Achieved Advanced Communicator Silver award (or achieved Able Toastmaster Bronze award or Advanced Toastmaster

Silver award)

Completed two additional manuals from the Advanced Communication Series

Conducted a presentation from the Success/Leadership Series, Success/Communication Series, or Youth Leadership

Coached a new member with the first three speech projects

When the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the ACG application online, or send the

completed and signed ACG application attached to the Project Completion Records from each manual to World Headquarters.

You'll Receive: A certificate and a letter to employer30 IN TE RP E RSO N A L C O MM U N IC A T IO N


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ng Mu ltiple Awardsach time any Toastmaster wishes to complete the series of awards on the communication track (ACB, ACS, and ACG), he or she

must complete two new Advanced Communication Series manuals for each award. This means that each time a member earns an

CG award, he or she must complete six different Advanced Communication Series manuals - two for ACB, two for ACS, and two

or ACG. Each time any Toastmaster wishes to repeat an award on the communication track, he or she is permitted to repeat the

manuals used for a previously earned communication award. For example: Ifa member completed "The Entertaining Speaker"

tem 226A) and "Speaking to Inform" (Item 226B) for their first ACB, the member may repeat these manuals for credit toward a

econd ACB or any other communication award being repeated.

member cannot repeat any Advanced Communication Series manuals while working toward a single award (ACB, ACS, ACG).

or example: The member cannot complete "The Entertaining Speaker" twice for the same ACB.

LEADERSHIP TRACK

P E T E N T L E A D E R ( C L ) Completed the Competent Leadership manual

hen the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the CL application online, or send the

ompleted and signed CL application attached to the Project Completion Record from the manual to World Headquarters.

A certificate and a letter to employer

L E A D E R B R O N Z E ( A L B ) Achieved Competent Leader award (completion ofCompetent Leadership manual)

Achieved Competent Communicator award (or achieved Competent Toastmaster award)

Served at least six months as a club officer (president, vice president education, vice president membership, vice president

public relations, secretary treasurer, sergeant at arms) and participated in the preparation ofa Club Success Plan while

serving in this office

While serving in the above office, participated in a district-sponsored club officer training

Conducted any two presentations from The Successful Club Series and/or The Leadership Excellence Series

hen the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the ALB application online, or send theompleted and signed ALB application to World Headquarters.


L E A D E R S I L V E R ( A L S ) Achieved Advanced Leader Bronze award (or former Competent Leader award)

Served a complete term as a district officer (district governor, lieutenant governor, public relations officer, secretary treasurer,

division governor, area governor)

Completed the High Performance Leadership program

Served successfully as a club sponsor, mentor, or coach

hen the requirements are fulfilled, have your club vice president education submit the ALS application online, or send the

ompleted and signed ALS application to World Headquarters.


T O A S T M A S T E R ( D T M ) Achieved Advanced Communicator Gold award (or achieved Advanced Toastmaster Gold award)

Achieved Advanced Leader Silver award (or achieved Advanced Leader award)

istinguished Toastmaster is the highest recognition a member may receive. When requirements are fulfilled, have your club

ce president education submit the DTM application online, or send the completed and signed DTM application to World

eadquarters.A plaque and a letter to employer

INTERPERSON AL COM MUNICATIO N


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ADVANCED COMMUNICATOR (AC)

AWARD APPLICATION

T O A P P L Y :You must be a current m ember of the club listed below at the time your application is received at WorldHeadquarte rs to be eligible for the award. Complete all five projects in two different manuals from the Advanced Communication Series.

Complete both sides of this application.

A current club officer must sign and date the application.

Ask a current club officer to submit your application online at www. toas tmaste rs .o rg/members .If no current officer has online access, mail OR fax (one method only please) the completed form to:

Mem ber Services - Education Awa rds Fax: 949.858.1207Toastmasters InternationalP.O. Box 9052, Mission Viejo, CA 92690 USA

A T T A C H P R O J E C T C O M P L E T I O N R E C O R D S F R O M M A N U A L SP L E A S E P R I N T O R T Y P E :Member No. Club Name & No.

NamePLEASE PRINT OR TYPE (AS YOU WO ULD LIKE IT TO APPEAR O N CERTIFICATE)

Permanent Address Change? j ^Yes | |No

Address 1

District

Date .

Address 2.

City State/Province,

Country.

Phone

Email Address_

ZIP/Postal Code

Complete all requirements before submitting award applications to World Headquarters.

Check award for which you are applying.

I I Advan ced Comnnunlcator Bronze (complete Section I)I I Advanced Comm unicator Gold (complete Section III)

Advanced Communicator Silver (complete Section II)

I . Advanced Communicato r Bronze (ACB) Received Competent Connnnunicator award

(Or received Competent Toastnnaster award)

Completed two Advanced Communication manuals.

(Attach Project Completion Record from each manual.)

32 IN TE RP E RSO N A L C O MM U N IC A T IO N

Date Club/District No.

REV. 2/11
http://www.toastmasters.org/membershttp://www.toastmasters.org/members


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I . Advanced Communicator S i lver (ACS)Received Advanced Communicator Bronze

(Or received Able Toastmaster award or

Advanced Toastmaster Bronze award) CLU B NO. CERTIFICAT E NO. (If applica ble) DATE RECEIVED



Conducted two presentations from The Better Speaker Series and/or The Successful Club Series. (Success/Corvmunication,

Success/Leadership, Youth Leadership workshops and The Leadership Excellence Series do not qualify.) Presentation date maynot be one used previously.

Presentation Name Date Presented

2.

I I I . Advanced Communicator Gold (ACG) Received Advanced Communicator Silver

(Or received Able Toastmaster Bronze or

Advanced Toastmaster Silver) CLUB NO. CERTIFICATE NO. (If appli cable ) DATE RECEIVED



Coordinated and conducted one Success/Communication, Success/Leadership or Youth Leadership workshop. (The Better

Speaker Series, The Successful Club Series, and The Leadership Excellence Series do not qualify.) Presentation date may not be

one used previously.

Workshop Name Date Presented

Coached a new member with his or herfirstthree speeches.

Name of New Member New Member Number (if known) Year Coached

OFF ICER VER I F ICAT IONe Toastmaster whose name appears above has completed all ofthe requirements for this award.

Date:NATURE PRINT NAME CLUB OFFICE HELD

(Members may not sign their own application even if they are a current club officer.)

PTIONAL: Please send a letter about my award to my employer or supervisor listed below.

ype or print neatly and do not abbreviate company name.)

ame of Employer/Supervisor.

nnpanyName

dress 1_

dress 2

y_ State/Province ZIP/Postal Code

untry.

mail:

33 INTERPERSO NAL COMM UNICATION


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COMPLETE LISTING OF

HE ADVANCED COMMUNICATION SERIES

The Advanced Communication Seriestralnsyou for speaking situations you nnay encounter outside of yourToastmasters club. Each of

the following five-project manuals may be used toward the Advanced Communicator Bronze, Advanced Connmunicator Silver and Advanced

Communicator Gold awards.

THE ENTERTAINING SPEAKER (item 226A) Entertaining speakers are always in demand. Projects address preparing and delivering an entertain-ing speech, finding good stories and anecdotes to include in speeches, using humor, incorporating drama into presentations, and presenting an after-dinner speech.

SPEAKING TO INFORM ( Item 226B) Inforrriatlonal speeches are corrirrion, so it's likely you will be asked to present one sorTietlrrie.This rrianual contains Infcrrnaabout organizing an informational speech, tailoring your speech to the audience, conducting a demonstration, presenting a report, and delivering a speech about anabstract subject.

PUBLIC RELATIONS ( I tem 226C) Everyone benefits from the ability to present a good public image. Projects cover preparing a speech that will gener-ate a favorable attitude toward you and your product, company or service; presenting a positive image of yourselfand your company or organization on a radio talk

show; persuading an audience to accept your viewpoint; addressing a hostile audience; communicating with the public during a crisis situation.

FACILITATING DISCUSSION ( I tem 226D) Group discussions are common, and this manual provides instruction in facilitating the most commontypes of discussions. Learn about moderating a panel discussion, facilitating a brainstorming meeting, leading a problem-solving discussion, handling challenging

people during discussions, and helping a problem-solving group achieve a consensus.

SPECIALTY SPEECH ES ( I tem 226E) Speakers are often called on to give different kinds of talks. This manual contains information about giving thoseconsidered most common: impromptu talks, preparing inspirational speeches, selling a product, reading aloud, and introducing a speaker

SPEECHES BY MANAGEMENT ( I tem 226F) Managers encounter a variety of speaking situations in the work environment. This manual offersinstruction in giving briefings, providing feedback, persuading and inspiring an audience, convincing an audience to accept change, and delivering bad news.

THE PROFESSIONAL SPEAKER ( item 226G) Professional speakers can give a variety of presentations to many audiences. This manual offersguidance in preparing and presenting a keynote address, an entertaining speech, a sales training speech, a seminar, and a motivational speech. It also includes

information about marketing yourselfasa professional speaker.

TECHN ICAL PRESEN TAT IONS (item 226H) Presenting technical information in a way that doesn't bore the audience is challenging. Learn howto prepare technical briefings, design and present a proposal, talk about a technical subject to a nontechnical audience, present a technical paper, and enhance a

technical talk with the Internet.

PERSUASIVE SPEAKING (item 2261) Successful people know how to influence and persuade others to accept their ideas, products or services.Projects cover selling a product, making 'cold calls," preparing a winning proposal, convincing an audience to consider your side of a controversial issue, and

persuading listeners to help bring a vision and mission to reality.

COMMUNICATING ON VIDEO (item 226 J ) Video presentations require special preparation and attention to details. Learn how to present aneditorial, appear as a guest on an interview program, host an interview program, conduct a press conference, and use video to train others.

STORYTELLING ( I tem 226K) a good story enhances your speech and makes it memorable. This manual offers instruction in telling folktales, personalstories, stories with morals, emotional stories and stories about historical events or people.

INTERPRETIVE READING (item 226L) Reading words written by someone else requires a special set ofskills. Projects include reading stories, poetrymonodramas, plays, and famous speeches.

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION (item 226M) Daily life presents many challenging communication situations. Topics covered in thismanual include conversing with ease, negotiating, handling criticism, coaching someone to improve performance, and expressing dissatisfaction effectively.

SPECIAL OCCASION SPEECHES (item 226N) Special events present special speaking opportunities.This manual provides instruction in givingtoasts, speaking in praise/giving a eulogy, "roasting" someone, and presenting and accepting awards.

HUMOROUSLY SPEAKIN G ( I tem 2260) Every speaker benefits from using humor. Learn how to incorporate humorous ancedotes and jokes into aspeech to enhance Its beginning, middle or end. Also, learn how to prepare and present an entirely humorous speech.

ADVANCED COMMUNICATION LIBRARY SET ( I tem 226Z) Save $15 by purchasing all ]S Advanced Communication Series manuals.For fastest service, order online at www.toastmasters.org/shop

CHARTS Competent Communication Achievement Chart (Item 307)

Competent Leadership Achievement Chart (Item 308)

Advanced Communication Achievement Chart (Item 309)

t Wall Chart Set - one ofeach off 307,308, and 309 ( Item 306)

These materials are available only to members ofToastmasters International. To order,

please visit our pnline store atwww.toastmasters .o rg/shop or call ToastmastersInternational at 949-858-8255.

Toastmasters International P.O. Box 9052 Mission Viejo, CA 92690 USAItem 209 Rev 1/2011
http://www.toastmasters.org/shophttp://www.toastmasters.org/shophttp://www.toastmasters.org/shophttp://www.toastmasters.org/shophttp://www.toastmasters.org/shop


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NOTES



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NOTES

TM - Interpersonal Communication Rev5 2011

Documents

Transcript of TM - Interpersonal Communication Rev5 2011