Title/Cover + Artwork - East York Animal Clinic that encounters each factor and deals with it openly...

Pet Loss

East York Animal Clinic: Pet Loss

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“…what we have enjoyed, we can never lose…all that we

love deeply becomes a part of us.”

-Helen Keller

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul

remains unawakened.”

-Anatole France


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June 2011: This booklet on pet loss was created by Nahal Moazen of East York Animal Clinic

with the help of Dr. Cindy Kneebone.

Cover Art by Dania Shewchuk of East York Animal Clinic.

Please contact us if you have any questions.

East York Animal Clinic Holistic Centre

805 O’Connor Drive, Toronto, ON, M4B 2S7

P 416-757-3569

F 416-285-7483

www.holisticpetvet.com

[email protected]

http://www.holisticpetvet.com/

mailto:[email protected]


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Celebrating the Animal-Human Bond and the Human-Animal Bond A brief word from Dr. Cindy Kneebone…

This booklet is for you. Discussing and preparing for the death of your beloved pet during their final

moments can be excruciatingly sorrowful. Whether your beloved companion is dying at home or you are

considering euthanasia as a humane option, the purpose of our putting together this booklet on preparing

for death is to help you and your family become familiar with the options available and the procedures

involved as well as to let you know that you are not alone during this difficult time—you have support.

We all know that our pets have unique personalities; similarly, each and every one of our pets also has

unique health needs. Given that every case is distinct, you and your vet will need to sensitively and

honestly assess your pet’s quality of life to decide on whether euthanasia or a natural death at home is

most suitable for your pet.

In the case of euthanasia: as guardians of our pets, we all know how difficult the decision for euthanasia

weighs in our hearts. The reasons for euthanasia are many, and we want to help you to feel comfortable

that your decision is the right one to make.

However, as heartbreaking as this decision may be, death is a short period in your companion’s life

considering that the majority of your beloved pet’s life was spending time with you and family bringing

pure love and joy.

We want you to spend as much time—and more—remembering all those endearing moments of fun and

learning together. These are the important memories and lessons to hold dear and they are woven into

the fabric of your soul for life. We are responsible for all the decisions for our pets—what to feed, when to

walk and so forth. When the final decision needs to be made, we need to know that all life ends and so it

is not the death to dwell on, but those many memories that you and your beloved pet formed together.

From all of us here at East York Animal Clinic, we hope this booklet helps to bring you comfort while you

make your decisions.


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Table of Contents

How will I know when it’s time? 1

Using the HHHHHMM Quality of Life Scale to help with decision making 2

Table 1. Quality of Life Scale 5

Changes associated with Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome in our older friends 6

Preparing for Death 9

Making arrangements ahead of time 9

How do I make arrangements? 9

Euthanasia 10

House call Vet 10

Cremation or Burial? 11

Cremation 11

Burial 11

Getting the support you need for yourself 12

After Death 13

Grieving 13

The five stages of grief 13

Processing Grief 17

Children and grieving 19

Moving forward and healing 21

Memorializing your pet 21

Do you get another pet? 21

Rainbow Bridge Poem 23

Pet Loss Support & Resources 24

Animal loss support groups 24

References for talking to children about death 25

Online Resources 26

Books 27


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How do I know when it’s time?

We are responsible for making decisions concerning our pet companions throughout their entire life, such

as what to feed, where to exercise, who they play with, etc. such that our pet companions are dependent

on the decisions we make for them. When an incurable or chronic illness arises in our pet companions

and we suddenly notice or realize that things have changed—how they interact, whether they enjoy their

usual daily activities—often a profound sadness enters into our consciousness around the possibility that

our companion may not be living with us forever.

Decisions around euthanasia are never going to be easy, especially when we ourselves can often not

make our own pre-arranged funerals. A terminal life ending decision discussion is hard to even begin to

think about let alone talk to someone about—even with your own veterinarian. It can be a profoundly

deep moral issue with the sense of playing God.

How can we decide when euthanasia is the kindest final act we can provide our companion?

What we consider quality of life has been modified to help us understand and decide what quality is for

our companion. We all have a sense of what we enjoy in life and what we like to do with our companion

but when normal activities—like jogging through the forest together with our dog, or our cat is not able to

make it up onto the couch or bed anymore—cease, followed by changes to our companion’s behaviour

and health, what parameters do we use to help us know when it’s time to end a life?

Dr. Alice Villalobos created a quality HHHHHMM Quality of Life Scale to help guide us. It may not be a

perfect scale, but it does illustrate what it means to be healthy and to enjoy a robust life style. We are

providing you with a modified and shortened version of “HHHHHMM” Quality of Life Scale helps decision

making. The complete and unmodified article can be found online: Oncology Outlook for VPN September,

2004 by Dr. Alice Villalobos.1

1 VPN: Veterinary Practice News

“There is no path so dark, nor road so steep, nor hill so slippery that other people have not been there before me and survived. May my dark times teach me to help the people I love on similar journeys.”

-Maggie Bedrosian


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Using the “HHHHHMM” Quality of Life Scale to help with decision making As caregivers we need to recognize and respect that every animal has basic needs. If we can meet these

basic needs at a satisfactory level for our pet companions, then we are justified in preserving the life of

our ill companion during their steady decline toward death. The goal in setting up the Quality of Life Scale

is to provide a guideline so that pet caregivers can maintain and nurture the human animal bond. This

scale will relieve guilty feelings and engender the support of the veterinary team to actively help in the

care and decision making for end of life patients.

You and your veterinarian will be working together to design an end of life program (Pawspice) or pet

hospice that encounters each factor and deals with it openly and honestly with an achievement of quality

of life scale from one to ten, with ten being the best quality of life. Below is a proposed list of the basic

desires that need both healer and caretaker’s attention. Dr. Villalobos named the scale “HHHHHMM,” to help make it is easy to remember the desires we want to satisfy: Hurt, Hunger, Hydration, Hygiene,

Happiness, Mobility and More good days than bad days. A score above 5 on most of these Quality

Issues is acceptable in maintaining a pet hospice, pawspice or end of life program. As each pet is an

individual with a unique situation, they will need a customized, kind and supportive approach.

The HHHHHMM Quality of Life Scale Hurt: 1-10

No hurt: Adequate pain control is the first priority on the scale. This includes your pet’s ability to breathe

properly. Most people do not realize that not being able to breathe is ranked at the top of the pain scale.

Some families are willing to provide oxygen therapy at home for their ailing pets and your veterinarian can

prescribe it through a medical supply house. Pain control may include oral, transdermal and injectable

medications.

Hunger: 1-10

No hunger: If your pet is not receiving adequate nutrition willingly, by hand or assisted feeding (also

known as force feeding), then you may need to consider placing a feeding tube—especially for cats.

Malnutrition develops quickly in sick animals when the caretaker is not educated. Your vet can instruct

you on using blended or liquid diets to help your best friend maintain proper nutritional and caloric intake.

Hydration: 1-10

No hydration problems: Subcutaneous fluids are a wonderful way to supplement the fluid intake of ailing

pets. It may take a few sessions for you to learn the technique of administering subcutaneous fluids. We

are here to help you, please make sure to ask your vet and veterinary technicians for demonstrations.

“Dogs are miracles with paws.” -Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy


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Hygiene: 1-10 Can your pet be kept brushed and cleaned? Is their coat matted? Is your pet situated properly so that

they will not have to lie down in their own waste after eliminations? Pets, especially cats with oral

cancers, cannot keep themselves clean; as a result, they get demoralized quickly. The odour associated

with necrotic tumours (necrotic is synonymous with dead; necrotic tissue is dead tissue) can be offensive

and cause your pet to be socially rejected by family members. Antibiotics help reduce foul-smelling

infections. You can use a sponge dampened with a very dilute solution of lemon juice and hydrogen

peroxide to help soothe and clean your cat’s fur. This mimics the gentle stroking action of a “mother

tongue” on the face, paws and legs. Dogs will also enjoy this.

Happiness: 1-10

Is your pet able to experience any joy or mental stimulation? Is your ailing pet willing to interact with the

family and be responsive to things happening around him? Is your aging cat able to purr and enjoy being

on the bed or on your lap? For cats that enjoy catnip, does your cat still respond to catnip? Can your cat

bat at toys or look at and follow a laser light? Can your ailing pet enjoy being greeted and petted by loving

family members? Can your pet’s bed be moved close to where family activities take place and not be left

in an isolated or neglected area? Is your pet depressed, lonely, anxious, bored or afraid?

Mobility: 1-10

Ask yourself whether your pet is able to move around on their own or with help in order to satisfy their

desires. Does your pet still feel like going out for walks? Is your pet showing central nervous system

problems, seizures or stumbling? Can your pet be taken outdoors or helped into the litter box to eliminate

with assistance? Will a harness, sling or a cart be helpful? Is medication helping your pet?

The answer to the mobility question has variable scenarios. Dr. Alice Villalobos writes that she has met

some utilitarian pet owners who are too rigid in the mobility area. For instance, they regretfully but willingly

sacrifice their pet’s life rather than elect amputation of a limb. Some pet owners have the honest yet

teleological feeling that amputation is mutilation and not fair to the pet. Instead, they allow the pet to bear

a painful limb for months before euthanasia.

The mobility scale can be variable from 1 to 10 based on the species and breed. Compared to large and

giant-breed dogs, it seems that cats and small lap dogs can and do enjoy life with much less mobility. If

your pet is compromised and is only able to lie in bed, is there a schedule to change your pet’s position

and rotate the body as often as every two hours? Atelectasis and decubital ulcers must be avoided.

Atelectasis, common after surgery or in hospitalized patients, is caused by the blockage of the air

passage (bronchus or bronchioles) or by pressure on the outside of the lung. Risk factors for developing

atelectasis include: anaesthesia, foreign object in the airway, lung diseases, mucus that blocks the

airway, pleural effusion (pressure on the lung caused by a build up of fluids between the ribs and the

lungs), prolonged bed rest with few changes in position, shallow breathing (may be caused by painful

breathing), tumours that block an airway. Decubital ulcer, also known as bedsore (may result when a

“Death ends a life, not a relationship." -Jack Lemmon


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patient is confined to a bed or a wheelchair), is an ulceration resulting from an arterial occlusion (closing

of the artery) or prolonged pressure. The nursing care is very demanding for large immobile dogs. Is the bedding material soft enough? Can an egg crate mattress be used and set up properly to avoid decubital

ulcers? Is there a role for a pet mobility cart or an Evans standing cart? If your pet has limited mobility yet

is alert and responsive, the items mentioned above will really make a difference in your pet’s quality of

life.

More Good Days Than Bad: 1-10

The quality of life is compromised when there are too many bad days in a row or if your pet seems to be

“turned off” to life. Bad days are filled with undesirable experiences such as vomiting, nausea, diarrhea,

frustration, seizures, etc. Bad days can result from profound weakness caused by anemia or from the

discomfort caused by an obstruction or a large, inoperable tumour in the abdomen.

Making the final decision to end a beloved pet’s life with euthanasia is a very difficult decision. When the

end is near, people usually want their pet to die naturally at home in their arms or by their pet’s treasured place to sleep. This is fine as long as your pet is just weakening steadily and not suffering to death. A

decision to euthanize can be made more clear to you if the standard scale for quality of life is set ahead of

time and you re-evaluate it every couple of weeks or every few days as required. There is always the

option having a home euthanasia with a house call veterinarian. Hopefully, the concept of a scale for

quality of life along with the professional guidance of your veterinarian can help relieve the angst and

regret about a beloved pet’s death.

Alice Villalobos, DVM, is the Director of Pawspice, an end of life care consultation clinic in Norwalk, California, and

Founder of the Peter Zippi Memorial Fund, which has placed over 11, 000 animals in homes. Dr. Villalobos received

the UC Davis Alumni Achievement Award and the Leo Bustad Companion Animal Veterinarian Award for her

pioneering role in bringing oncology services to companion animal practice. Dr. Villalobos was the 2005-2006

President of the American Association of Human-Animal Bond Veterinarians and is the Director of Animal Oncology

Consultation Service in Woodland Hills and Torrance, California. She writes and lectures on veterinary cancer care,

sharing her 39 years of experience in this field at national and regional conferences worldwide.

“The risk of love is loss, and the price of loss is grief. But the pain of grief is only a shadow when compared

with the pain of never risking love.” -Hilary Stanton Zunin


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Please make sure you go through and answer the questions listed below in Table 1. Quality of Life Scale

and that you re-evaluate the quality of life scale every couple of weeks or every few days as required.

Table 1. Quality of Life Scale (The HHHHHMM Scale)

Pet caregivers can use the quality of life scale to determine the success of Pawspice care. Using a scale of 1 to 10, patients can be scored. H: 0-10 HURT:

Adequate pain control, including breathing ability, is first and foremost on

the scale.

Is your pet’s pain successfully managed?

Is oxygen necessary?

H: 0-10 HUNGER:

Is your pet eating enough?

Does hand feeding help?

Does your pet require a feeding tube?

H: 0-10 HYDRATION:

Is your pet dehydrated? If your pet is not drinking enough, your vet may recommend the use

of subcutaneous fluids once or twice daily to supplement fluid intake.

H: 0-10 HYGIENE:

Your pet should be kept brushed and cleaned, particularly after elimination, avoid pressure

sores, and keep all wounds clean.

H: 0-10 HAPPINESS:

Does your pet express joy and interest?

Is he responsive to things around him (family, toys, etc.)?

Is your pet depressed, lonely, anxious, bored, or afraid?

Can your pet’s bed be close to the family activities and not be isolated?

M: 0-10 MOBILITY:

Can your pet get up without assistance?

Does your pet need human or mechanical help (e.g. a cart)?

Does he feel like going for a walk?

Is he having seizures or stumbling?

Some caregivers feel euthanasia is preferable to amputation, yet an animal who has limited

mobility but is still alert and responsive can have a good quality of life as long as his

caregivers are committed to helping him.

M: 0-10 MORE GOOD DAYS THAN BAD:

When there are too many bad days in a row, quality of life is too compromised. When a

healthy human-animal bond is no longer possible, the caretaker (you) must be made aware

the end is near. The decision needs to be made if your pet is suffering. If death comes

peacefully and painlessly, that is okay.

Over 5 is acceptable in each category. A total of 35 points or greater is acceptable for a good Pawspice.

Villalobos, A., and L. Kaplan. 2007. “Table 10.1. Quality of Life Scale.” In Canine and Feline Geriatric Oncology: Honoring the Human-Animal Bond, p. 304. Ames, IA: Blackwell Publishing.

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking

the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." -Gilda Radner


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Changes associated with Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome in our older friends As our pet ages, degenerative changes in the brain may also occur impairing their cognitive ability.

Cognitive Dysfunction Syndrome, CDS, is caused by physical and chemical changes that affect the brain

function of geriatrics in humans, dogs and cats. Since no tests exist at this point in time for CDS in dogs

and cats, the diagnosis is made by ruling out other medial problems and by excluding all other potential

causes of dementia. We know less about CDS in cats than in dogs because relatively little research has

been done so far on CDS in cats. However, based on the studies that have examined CDS in cats we

know that the physical changes in the brains of cats are similar to those of dogs with cognitive dysfunction

and people with Alzheimer’s disease. Dogs and cats with CDS are often described as less responsive,

forgetful, disoriented and/or confused.

Your dog or cat may exhibit some or all of the behaviour and signs associated with age-related cognitive

decline (listed below).

1. Disorientation

• Confused; will get lost in familiar places or even walk into walls.

• Will go to the wrong side of doors (the hinge side).

• Will get stuck and cannot navigate around or over obstacles/furniture.

• Will get stuck in the corner of a familiar room.

• Is less responsive to stimuli.

• Exhibits decreased recognition of familiar places.

2. Relationships & social behaviour

• Exhibits decreased interest in petting or contact.

• May walk away during petting.

• Or, conversely, is in need of constant contact—over dependent or “clingy” behaviour.

• Exhibits decreased greeting behaviour.

• Exhibits decreased recognition of familiar people and pets.

• Experiences alterations or problems with social hierarchy.

3. Activity: may decrease, increase or be repetitive

• Lethargy

• Altered or aimless activity

• Decrease in daytime sleep

• Increase in wandering or pacing

• Decrease in exploration (apathy)

• Staring, such as staring blankly at the wall or being fixated on an object; may also snap at objects.

• Licking owners or household objects [mostly dogs].

“To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old age.” -Thomas B. Aldrich


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4. Agitation or anxiety

• “Excessive” vocalization. Please note that it is normal behaviour for pets to communicate with you

or voice their pain. “Excessive” vocalization is random and unrelated to pain or communication.

• Restlessness

• Restless sleep

• Increased irritability/aggression

• Aimless pacing and wandering

• Night-time anxiety or night-time restlessness

• Fear/hiding

• New fears/phobias; or, increase in fears/phobias

• Separation anxiety

5. Appetite

• Interest in food can increase by eating a higher volume of food and/or an increased speed of

eating.

• Or, interest in food can decrease by eating a smaller volume of food and/or a slower rate of

eating.

• Anxiety-conflict behaviour at the food bowl.

6. Decreased responsiveness to stimuli

• Decline in vision, hearing or smelling odours.

7. Decreased self-care

• Decreased grooming.

8. Changes in sleep-wake cycle

• Restless sleep or awake at night.

• Increased sleep during the day.

9. Learning & memory

Loss of house training

• Decreased or no signaling of need to go outside to eliminate [dogs and outdoor cats].

Sometimes eliminating in front of you, without realization of their soiling.

• Forgets the distinction between indoors and outdoors. For example, will go outside of home

but then eliminates inside of home upon return [dogs and outdoor cats].

• Elimination in sleeping area or inside crate.

• Incontinence

Loss of learned behaviour

• Impaired responsiveness to known commands or tricks.

• Decreased ability to perform tasks.

• Unable to learn new tasks or slow to learn new tasks.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” -Mark Twain


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Given the above, you can appreciate the importance of making your dog or cat’s environment as

comfortable and as predictable as possible. Keeping your home’s layout (designation of rooms, furniture,

etc.) the same ensures a predictable physical environment for your pet.

You can do the following to ensure a safe and predictable environment for your dog or cat:

• Ensure your pet’s sleeping areas are comfortable and easily accessible.

• Ensure your pet’s water and food bowls are easily accessible.

• Section off/close off any areas where your dog or cat may get lost, stuck or injured.

• For cats:

o Ensure litter boxes are very accessible to your cat.

o Place at least one litter box on each floor or in each area of your home.

o Make sure every litter box has low edges so that your cat can comfortably get into and

out of the box.

o Keep all litter boxes clean.

o Please help out with grooming as required.

o For outdoor cats: start supplying litter boxes for your cat inside your home. Cats with

dementia may have difficulties finding the outside.

• For dogs with mobility issues that have difficulty making it outside:

o Ensure pee-pads or stacks of newspaper are very accessible to your dog.

o Place at least one pee-pad or stack of newspaper on each floor or in each area of your

home.

o Immediately after your pet eliminates, replace/clean pee-pad or replace newspaper.

o Please help out with grooming as required.

Be patient and loving towards your pet in the same way you would treat aging elders. If you think your pet

has CDS after reading this please talk to your vet. Your vet can rule out other potential causes of

dementia and if it appears that you pet has CDS, your vet can discuss treatment options with you.

“Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.”

-George Eliot


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Preparing for Death Making arrangements ahead of time We strongly recommend making arrangements ahead of time. Planning ahead will provide you with the

emotional comfort of knowing that everything is taken care of and will prevent additional stress when the

loss occurs.

How do I make arrangements?

Make sure to ask any questions you may have. If you have children, be open and receptive to any

questions or concerns that your child may have. Encourage your child to ask the veterinarian questions

that may occur. Remember, all questions are valid.

In the case of euthanasia, you will need to decide whether you feel more comfortable bringing your pet to

the clinic or having a home visit from a house call veterinarian. We can provide you with the contact

information for house call vets. As part of making arrangements ahead of time, you may find it helpful to

have back up plans. For example, have the contact details of your neighbourhood veterinary emergency

clinic just in case your regular veterinary clinic is closed and your house call vet is unavailable. You may

also find it helpful to have on hand the contact details of a couple of house call vets.

On pages 11-12, we provide you with some information about cremation and burials.

Some people find memorializing their pet through rituals such as a funeral, memorial service, burial, or

placement of the ashes helps with creating a healthy closure to the loss process. If this applies to you,

some options include having a service or wake at home or using the services of a pet memorial company.

If you are interested, there are many activities that you can do to memorialize your pet. Please refer to

pages 20-21.

If you have children, we recommend reading Children and grieving (pp. 19-20) so that you are better

prepared on how to help your child understand and cope with pet illness and death. Online resources and

books are also listed at the end of this booklet (pp. 24-27).

Equally important, remember to make arrangements for yourself in terms of getting the support you need

whether it is from friends and family and/or grief counsellors (pp. 24-25).

“Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, filling an emptiness we don't even know we have."

-Thom Jones


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Euthanasia Prior to the euthanasia, you will be asked whether you would like to take your pet’s body with you or

whether you would prefer cremation. If you choose to have your pet cremated, you will also be asked

whether you would like to have the ashes returned to you. Please let us know if you would like a lock of

fur from your pet. If you would like, you can bring someone with you to the clinic for support and to drive

you home afterwards. You can bring your family (or close friends) and your pet’s favourite blanket or bed,

toys, candles and music with you. During euthanasia, it can be helpful for children to have a choice of

being present or not. However, if you intend to bring children, it is important to talk to them about dying so that they are well prepared before they accompany you. Even if you do not intend on bringing children

with you, it is still important to talk to them about what is going on with their pet. If a child does not want to

be present during the euthanasia, viewing their pet’s body afterwards for final goodbyes can help create a

sense of closure and finality. Please make sure to read Children and grieving (pp. 19-20) and refer to

pages 25-26 for references on talking to children about death.

Being present for the injection is completely up to you and how comfortable you feel. The euthanasia

solution is administered intravenously (into a vein). Although the solution is specially made to act quickly

and painlessly, your pet will need to remain calm during the procedure to ensure entry into the vein. Once

the entire solution has been administered, the veterinarian will check your pet for no pulse to make sure

the procedure is complete. Afterwards, the veterinarian will leave the room providing you—unless you

prefer not to remain—quiet time with your pet. Please stay for as long as you need to. If you need any

support or assistance, please let us know. We are here for you.

Most euthanasia solutions are formulated to result in a quick and painless termination of nerve

transmission and muscle relaxation. Without nerve impulses, there is no thought, no sensation, and no

movement. The solution is only available to licensed veterinarians possessing the required special

certificate in order to purchase the solution.

House Call Vet You and/or your pet may find it easier having the euthanasia procedure performed in your home. We can

provide you with the contact information for house call veterinarians, please ask our staff. We do

recommend calling the house call veterinarian in advance to acquaint with them as well as to be aware of

their availability to ensure that they are available for when you will need them.

"...love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." -Kabil Gibran


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Cremation or Burial? Cremation If you choose to have your pet cremated, please let us know and we will take care of contacting the pet

cremation service for you. You will be asked whether you would like a private cremation (ashes returned)

or a general cremation (no ashes returned). If you decide on a private cremation, you can also request a

paw print from your pet. Please note that you can also purchase a paw print kit and make this yourself at

home. Although we will contact you once we have received your pet’s ashes (for private

cremations) from the pet cremation service, there is no rush and we want you to come by once you are

ready to pick them up.

Burial Is home burial legal?

We recommend that you check with your local health authority for any regulations.

If you choose to have a pet burial, please call the pet cemetery to make arrangements. We have listed

the contact details for some pet cemeteries below.

"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."

-Isaac Asimov


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Getting the support you need for yourself Your well-being is extremely important and you will need to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

Your friends and family as well as grief counsellors and animal loss support groups can help you by

supporting you. Talking to your friends and family when you know the time is near helps to update them

so that they can be there for you during your loss. By doing so, you will also provide your friends and

family the opportunity to visit your pet and say their farewells. Please realize that you are not alone and

do not need to go through this on your own. Various forms of support exist such as grief counsellors,

animal loss support groups and the OVC Pet Loss Support Hotline (run by volunteers at the Ontario

Veterinary College). Expressing your emotions through writing down your thoughts and feelings can also

be very helpful.

Please refer to the end of this booklet (pp. 24-27) to view the contact details for animal loss support

groups, helpful online resources and books.

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them."

-Leo Tolstoy


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After Death

Grieving

The five stages of grief

The five stages of grief are listed below:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Please note that not everyone goes through all of the stages or in the set order of Denial à Anger à

Bargaining à Depression à Acceptance. Oftentimes, people may skip stages, go through loops, or

fluctuate back and forth between certain stages. It is also important to consider that several factors can

complicate your grief, affecting how you experience various stages of grief. Accordingly, be gentle with

yourself by permitting for additional grieving time. Some of these factors that can complicate your grief

include:

• Not having previous experience with significant loss, death, or grief

• Experiencing other recent losses

• Having a personal history involving multiple losses

• Receiving minimal or no support from friends or family

• Societal norms that trivialize and negate the loss

• Receiving insensitive comments from others about the loss

• Generally poor coping skills

• Feelings of guilt or responsibility for a death

• Untimely deaths (children, young adults or young companions)

• Deaths that happen suddenly, without warning

• Deaths that occur after long, lingering illnesses

• Deaths that have no known cause or that could have been prevented

• An unexplained disappearance

“Grief is so painfully real, regardless of its origin. The love of, and attachment to, an animal friend can equal that of human relationships. Likewise, the loss of an animal can be just as devastating.”

-Rev. Joel L. Morgan


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• Not viewing the body after death

• Witnessing a painful or traumatic death

• Deaths that occur in conjunction with other significant life events like birthdays, holidays, or a

divorce

• Anniversary dates and holidays after the loss

• Stories in the media that misrepresent or cast doubt on medical treatment procedures

• Advice based on negative experiences of others or on inaccurate information about normal grief

When going through a loss of this magnitude, you may find it helpful to seek out the assistance of a grief

counsellor (pp. 24-25).

Knowing more about grief helps to prepare us to cope with life and loss. The five stages—denial, anger,

bargaining, depression and acceptance—are tools to help us identify, grasp and better understand our

feelings as we learn to live with loss.

Denial Denial, the first of the stages of grief is a step you may go through on your way to pet grief recovery.

Denial helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, we are in a state of shock and denial; we may also feel

numb. Life may not make any sense. The world may become meaningless and overwhelming. In our

attempt to find a way to simply get through each day, denial and shock help us to cope with our loss,

making survival possible. In this stage of grief, denial helps us to pace our feelings, letting in only as

much as we are able to handle.

You begin the healing process as you accept the reality of losing your beloved pet and start to ask

yourself questions. As you proceed to become stronger and the denial begins to fade, all the feelings you

were denying begin to surface.

Anger Anger, usually the next stage of pet loss grief, is a misunderstood emotion. Most of us have been brought

up to repress our anger given that it is usually deemed socially inappropriate to express angry emotions.

However, anger is a necessary emotion and part of the healing process. In the case of pet loss grief, it

usually follows the period of shock and numbness during the ‘Denial’ stage.

We usually suppress our anger rather than feeling it. Beneath the anger lies our pain. It is natural to feel

abandoned when grieving for your pet. The bond you have with your pet is a sacred one—it is only

natural to feel pain when your pet dies. During the numbness of the ‘Denial’ stage you may feel no

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which

excludes the ability to experience happiness.” -Erich Fromm


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connection to anything. Anger gives temporary structure to the nothingness of loss by anchoring you back

to reality. Feeling your anger, regardless of who or what it is directed towards, brings you structure by

forming a connection to them through anger. Connecting, through the strength of anger feels better than

feeling nothing. Anger often does not make any sense; it is important to feel your anger without trying to

make sense of it or by judging it. Equally important, do not let anyone else dismiss or criticize your anger.

The anger, in its own way, is another indication of the intensity of your love for your pet.

Despite living in a society that fears anger, be accepting of your anger—be open to feeling it and

expressing it. The more you feel your anger, the more it will begin to dissipate and you will heal more

quickly. Feeling angry can extend to your friends, the veterinarian(s), your family, yourself, and even

towards your beloved pet for leaving you and, for some, towards God. Tell your friends and family how

angry you are. If you are unable to communicate your anger to your friends and family call a pet loss

grief/support helpline (pp. 24-25); the staff of support hotlines have experience with emotions such as

anger. Express your anger—vocalize, write and externalize through exercise.

Your anger will pass and you will then begin to feel the underlying emotions such as pain and sadness

that were beneath your anger.

Bargaining Before a loss, you may feel like you are willing to do anything in order to spare your beloved pet. You may

bargain with God or the Universe if they will only just let your pet live. After a loss, bargaining may take

the form of a temporary truce.

We loose ourselves in a sea of “If only…” and “What if…” statements. We want life as it was before our

loss—we want our pet brought back. We may feel the need to travel back in time to: find the tumour

sooner, stop the accident from happening or recognize the illness more quickly…if only. Bargaining is

often accompanied by guilt. We may direct these “if onlys” back to ourselves by blaming and/or finding

fault in ourselves and what we think we could have done differently. Many pet owners experience guilty

feelings resulting from feeling responsible for their pet’s condition even when there is nothing they can do

to prevent the situation.

As guardians of our pets, we may feel guilty when our pet has a terminal disease or injury. We may blame

ourselves for not noticing the symptoms earlier. We may blame ourselves if finances or other personal

circumstances contributed to decisions made concerning treatment. Regardless of the situation, guilt

keeps us stuck in the grief process. All these feelings of guilt are self-imposed. For guilt to be truly valid,

intent is required. Examine your intentions for how you cared for and loved your pet. There is no valid

place for guilt when you have the best of intentions for your pet’s life. Recognize that once you release

feelings of guilt, you are able to fully grieve.

“Grief drives men into habits of serious reflection, sharpens the understanding, and softens the heart.” -John Adams


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Some suggestions to help you work through guilt to let it go:

• Realize that it is normal to wish you had made an alternate decision or that you could have done more. It is normal to question your decisions or behaviours because you love your pet. However, beating yourself up for these “if-onlys” will not change what has happened. Identify the reasons for your actions and decisions at the time you made them. Recognize that you are human and did not have any hindsight of the situation.

• Remind yourself that you did what you thought was right at the time for your pet. Remind yourself

of your intent of love. • Think from your pet’s perspective. What would they want you to do? What would they tell you

about how you are feeling?

We may also bargain with the pain. We may do anything in order not to feel the pain of this loss. By

attempting to negotiate our way out of the hurt we remain in the past.

Often, people will think of the stages as lasting for weeks or months. They do not. The stages are

responses to feelings that can last for minutes or for hours as we flip in and out of one feeling and then

another. It is important to realize that we do not follow a linear path when entering and leaving each

individual stage. Each person’s path differs, we are all unique and it is possible to feel one stage, then

another and to return back again to the first stage.

Depression After the bargaining stage of grief, our attention becomes focused on the present. Grief enters our lives

on a very deep level as empty feelings present themselves. Depression will feel as though it is never-

ending. It is very important to understand that experiencing depression—in response to the loss of a

loved one—is not a sign of mental illness. Depression is the appropriate response to a great loss. During

this stage, we withdraw from life, we feel immersed in sadness, and we may wonder if there is any point

in continuing to go on alone. Society often deems depression after a loss as unnatural, as a state needing

fixing…as something you simply snap out of as simple as an on-off switch. Whenever you experience

depression, the first question to ask yourself is whether or not the situation you are in is actually

depressing. Losing a loved one is a very depression situation, to not experience depression after the loss

of a loved one would be unusual. Depression is a normal and appropriate response to the loss of a loved

one. Understandably, it is natural to feel depressed when you fully feel the loss by realizing that your

beloved pet did not get better this time and will not be returning. Depression is one of the many necessary

steps during the process of healing that is grief.

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim."

-Vicki Harrison


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Acceptance Acceptance is often confused with being “OK” or “all right” with what has happened. This is not so—

acceptance does not mean that you are “OK” or “all right” with what has happened. Most people do not

feel OK about losing a loved one. Acceptance is about recognizing the new reality that our beloved pet is

physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. Despite the fact that we will

never like this reality and are not OK with it, eventually we accept it. We learn to live with this new reality.

At first, many people go through resistance, resisting living in the now by wanting to maintain life as it was

before their animal companion died. However, over time, by taking steps towards achieving acceptance,

we realize that we cannot maintain and cannot live in the past.

Experiencing acceptance may start off as having more good days than bad ones. As we start living and

enjoying our life again, we may often find that we feel pangs of guilt as if we are betraying our beloved

pet. Easing our grief by being happy and enjoying our lives does not mean that we feel or have any less

love towards the pet we just lost. Love is infinite. During the process of finding acceptance, we give

ourselves permission to go on with our life: we make new connections, new meaningful relationships, and

new inter-dependencies. Rather than deny our feelings, we listen to our needs as we move, change, grow

and evolve. We may find ourselves reaching out to others and becoming involved in their lives. We

participate in our friendships and in our relationships with ourselves. We need to give grief its time in our

life in order for us to begin living again. You may even discover personal growth from the grief you have

experienced. It usually takes approximately one year to reach acceptance.

Processing Grief Some suggestions to help you with processing your grief for your beloved companion: ààààGive yourself permission to grieve

You have just experienced a tremendous loss. It is alright for you to grieve. Try to spend time with people

who understand and appreciate the beautiful bond you had with your pet—these are people who you can

talk openly with about your grief without any fear of judgment. Try to ignore the comments from

misunderstanding individuals.

ààààAcknowledge and express your feelings

By acknowledging and expressing your feelings you are able to gain perspective while releasing some of

the energy within you. Talk to people that you trust—people who understand and appreciate the human-

animal bond. Journaling or writing a letter are also helpful ways for expressing and processing your

emotions. Other forms of creatively expressing your feelings may include creating artwork with clay, oils,

pastels, painting, drawing, designing a shadow box or collage, quilting, weaving, pottery and writing

poetry or stories.

“Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart, and bids it break.” -William Shakespeare


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ààààIdentify what has been helpful with past losses

Identify what has helped you cope and heal during past losses and call on that now. Remember that you

have created a wealth of coping skills throughout your life from using your skills and strength to get you

through losses. Use what works for you now to help you with your grief.

ààààGive yourself permission to backslide

Unavoidable and unpredictable—grief just happens. You will experience waves of emotions during your

grief. Losing your pet may result in many changes to your life. Let yourself know that it will take time for

you to adapt. It is okay for you to take time to adapt to these changes.

You may experience many firsts after a loss. The first morning you are not woken up by enthusiastic

kisses…the first morning you do not fill the food bowl…the first time you are not greeted when you come

home…the first time you are not investigated by being sniffed when returning home…the first afternoon

you do not go for a walk…the first night without sharing your pillow…the first night of not having your pet

sprawl themselves out across your bed…the first time with an empty lap…the first time you do not have a

pair of eyes following your every move when you open the fridge…the first birthday after a loss…the first

anniversary of the death… the list continues… All these “firsts” can, like a strong tidal wave, carry you

backwards into strong emotions of grief. Try to be aware of your feelings so that you can be prepared for

these events in order to allow yourself to grieve strongly again. You may find it helpful to call in advance

on those who support you.

ààààBe patient with yourself

It takes time to grieve a significant relationship, especially the heartfelt one you share with your pet… you

will need to go easy on yourself.

ààààFind a special way to say goodbye to your pet

Our society promotes rituals for humans such as funerals and receptions. Create a ritual for your pet.

Some rituals that have helped others say goodbye to their pet include writing an obituary, holding a

celebration of your pet’s life, donating to a cause in your pet’s name, planting a tree or bush, or creating

something. If your loss was an unexpected one, you can write a letter or talk to a photo of your pet saying

everything that you did not have a chance to say. Also, you can write a letter from your pet to you,

expressing what he or she would tell you.

ààààDo something that brings your joy

It is okay for you to smile, to have fun, to laugh. Allowing yourself to experience joy does not translate into

missing your pet any less. It only means that you are taking care of yourself during your heartache—our

pets always want our happiness…your pet would want you to be happy too.

“I will always remember the tabby who taught me that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Sometimes, just an hour is enough to touch your heart.”

-Barbara L. Diamond


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Children and grieving

"I can still see my first dog. For six years he met me at the same place after school and convoyed

me home — a service he thought up himself. A boy doesn't forget that sort of association."

-E.B. White

A child’s first experience with loss may often be the death of a family pet. A child’s age and development

level will influence how they grieve. Due to shortened attention spans and varying intellectual levels of

understanding death and loss, children express grief differently than adults. However, please remember

that each child is unique and overlap does occur across levels of development. Equally important, please

understand that emotional responses to a pet’s death may vary based on the child’s relationship with the

animal. Accordingly, do not assume that your child will react to the loss in the same manner as you.

Children may experience emotional reactions that can be painful and frightening when experiencing the

death of a beloved pet. You can take the following actions to help your child experience these reactions

as healthy events:

1. Understanding

2. Grieving

3. Memorializing

Listed below are several ways you can help your child to achieve understanding and grieving:

→ It is important to recognize that pet death is a significant loss for children—it should not be trivialized or minimized. As a parent, it is important for you and other adults to teach children how to express their grief in emotionally healthy ways (that are free of shame and embarrassment). This means that you will need to talk with your child. Make sure you find a quiet place where you can talk without interruption. Be as honest as possible. Tell your child that their pet has died and what caused the death. If necessary, explain the meaning of the word “dead.” While it is important to tell your child what has happened, avoid overloading them with details.

→ Use words that you child understands and answer all questions truthfully.

→ Avoid euphemisms. Avoid using terms such as “gone away,” “put to sleep,” “passed on,” and

“lost.” These terms can be both confusing and frightening to children, especially young children, who may associate the word “sleep” with going to bed. As a parent, it is natural for you to want to protect your child from pain, including the pain associated with grieving the loss of a pet. However, avoiding the truth by making up reasons why your pet is no longer at home can lead to many other emotional effects in your child such as abandonment beliefs, a continued sense of hope for their return, and unresolved grief due to a loss not being recognized. It is better to be honest, using simple and accurate terms such as “dead” and “stopped breathing” as this helps establish that the body is no longer alive biologically.

“My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." -Edith Wharton


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→ Stay alert to “magical thinking.” Oftentimes, young children mistakenly believe that somehow they are responsible for their pet’s death. If this occurs with your child, make sure you talk openly with them about this to let them know that it is not their fault.

→ Encourage the expression of feelings. Keep in mind that children will model their parents’ behaviours. You can try drawing, writing and talking together about your pet.

→ Do not encourage replacement of pets; rather, share memories and stories of your beloved pet

with your child.

→ Share your beliefs, hopes and faith(s) about the soul or spirit of pets with your child. For example, “The spirit of our special pet is with God in Heaven,” “our pet’s spirit is the warm feeling of love in our hearts,” or “our pet’s spirit is in nature.”

Rituals such as a funeral, memorial service, burial, or placement of the ashes help to encourage healthy

closure to the loss process. Children process thoughts and feelings by “doing.” Parents are encouraged

to involve their children in a goodbye ceremony and in memorializing their pet. By guiding your child

through “doing” activities like memorializing, to process the loss of their pet, you are providing your child

with a model of how to say goodbye as well as the framework for dealing with death and other significant

changes or losses in the future.

Some activities that you and your child can do together to memorialize your pet:

Place fresh flowers and a lit candle beside a special framed picture of your pet. Please exercise fire safety precautions with children.

Plant a tree, bush or garden.

Write a goodbye letter, a poem or a song.

Draw a goodbye picture.

Write a tribute to your pet. You can create this tribute in any form you wish, such as a card or

poster. And if you like, you can share this tribute with friends and family, your veterinary clinic, your dog walkers and/or dog groomers or online (there are many online pet memorial sites).

Create a memory box with pictures, stories and mementos.

Create a photo album or collage.

Donate money to a favourite charity in memory of your pet.

Be open and ask your child what else they would like to do in memory of their pet. Help make it

happen.

“To suppress the grief, the pain, is to condemn oneself to a living death. Living fully means feeling fully; it means being completely one with what you are experiencing and

not holding it at arm’s length.” -Philip Kapleau


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Moving forward and healing

Memorializing your pet As mentioned earlier, some people find memorializing their pet through rituals such as a funeral,

memorial service, burial, or placement of the ashes helps with creating a healthy closure to the loss

process. If this resonates with you, some options include having a service or wake at home or using the

services of a pet memorial company.

There are many ways to memorialize your pet. Please refer to the list of suggestions provided above in Children and grieving (p. 19). Remember that you can also come up with your own unique way to

memorialize your pet.

Do you get another pet?

It may help to consider the following if you are asking yourself when to adopt a new pet:

Try not to rush into making this important decision until you have sorted out your feelings. Well-

meaning friends, family and even veterinary professionals may suggest a new animal as a means

of comfort and support.

Ask yourself what is motivating you to get a new pet?

→ Be mindful of “replacing” the one that died. You may be disappointed if you compare your

new pet with the memories of your deceased pet. Each and every pet is unique—this

also applies to animals of the same breed.

→ Before you adopt, it is important to consider the new animal’s needs, behaviour, and

lifestyle and how they may differ from those of your deceased pet companion.

Another pet may help you heal. Some people find the companionship of a new pet comforting

during this difficult time.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning

if it were not balanced by sadness.” -Carl Jung


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Have you allowed yourself to grieve the loss of your beloved pet? Some people are not able to

bond with a new pet right away. Keep in mind that the desire to adopt a new companion

immediately after the death of a pet can be driven by the need to avoid the pain of grief. You may

find it easier to welcome a new pet into your life after you have given yourself the time needed to

first heal from the loss.

It is very important to discuss this decision with every member of the family. Make sure that

everyone is ready to commit to the new relationship. People have different time frames with

grieving the loss of a loved one. Bringing a new pet into the family before all members are ready

can hurt or offend someone by implying that the pet’s death is relatively insignificant. Children

may perceive a message that loved ones are easily replaced.

You can volunteer at a rescue group or animal shelter to help homeless animals.

There is also the option of becoming a “foster parent” by fostering an animal through a local

animal rescue group. As a foster parent, you will be providing temporary housing for pet that is

waiting for permanent adoption. You will be helping an animal while examining your own

readiness without a long-term commitment. If the fostered animal fits well into your life, you can

consider permanent adoption.

Only you will know what is best for you. Take your time…you will know when you are ready.

“The pain passes, but the beauty remains." -Pierre Auguste Renoir


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Rainbow Bridge Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; you hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…. Author unknown…

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." -Saint Francis of Assisi


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Pet Loss Support & Resources

“Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”

-William James

Animal loss support groups

OVC Pet Loss Support Hotline Support hotline run by the volunteers at the Ontario Veterinary College.

www.ovc.uoguelph.ca/petloss

[email protected]

519-824-4120 x53694

Please call Tuesday – Thursday from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm ET. An answering service is available outside

regular hotline hours.

Metro Toronto Animal Loss Support Group The group is run by a team of dedicated volunteers who endeavour to meet the needs of individuals

suffering with grief from the death of companion animals and offer:

• Confidential telephone support

• Monthly "Drop-In" meetings

• Specialized counselling referral

• Resource Materials

Meetings are held on TUESDAY, after the 1st non-holiday Monday of each month from 7:15pm – 9:00

pm at:

Lansing United Church

49 Bogart Avenue

North York, Ontario

M2N 1K4

(1 block west of Yonge Street, South of Sheppard)

Newcomers are always welcome. Please call to confirm date.

For more information please call 416-264-6125.

For telephone support, dial the number above and ask for Dr. Elizabeth Mayhew, M.Ed.

“The smallest feline is a masterpiece." -Leonardo Da Vinci

http://www.ovc.uoguelph.ca/petloss

mailto:[email protected]


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Halton/Peel Pet Loss Support Group

People looking for pet loss support may call the following:

905-272-4040 (Mississauga, Ontario)

905-842-2252 (Oakville, Ontario)

905-637-5233 (Burlington, Ontario)

www.mississaugapets.com/petloss.html

If you are trying to cope with the loss of a pet or are facing a euthanasia decision the Halton/Peel Pet

Loss Support Group is here to help you. These numbers are provided by three funeral homes who have

kindly allowed us to publish their phone numbers. When people call the funeral home and ask to leave a

message for the Pet Loss Support Group, this message is then forwarded by the funeral home staff.

Mississauga area (905) 272-4040 Scott Funeral Home Mississauga Chapel 420 Dundas Street East, Mississauga

Oakville area (905) 842-2252 Oakview Funeral Home 56 Lakeshore Road West, Oakville

Burlington area (905) 637-5233 Dodsworth & Brown Funeral Home 2241 New Street, Burlington

References for talking to children about death

Online Argus Institute-Helping Children Through Illness & Death http://csuvth.colostate.edu/diagnostic_and_support/argus/involving_children.aspx

“Children and Pet Loss: How to help your Child or Teen cope with the loss of the family’s pet” by Shiri R. Joshua, M.A. http://www.petlosssupport.ca/userfiles/Children%20and%20Pet%20Loss.pdf “When a Pet Dies” from KidsHealth® (Nemours Foundation) http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/pet_death.html “Explaining Pet Death to Children” by Sara Probst http://www.ottawahumane.ca/your-pets/petdeath.cfm

“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in the full.” -Marcel Proust

http://www.mississaugapets.com/petloss.html

http://csuvth.colostate.edu/diagnostic_and_support/argus/involving_children.aspx

http://www.petlosssupport.ca/userfiles/Children%20and%20Pet%20Loss.pdf

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/pet_death.html

http://www.ottawahumane.ca/your-pets/petdeath.cfm


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Books Ocho Loved Flowers Author: Anne Fontaine Reading level: ages 4-8 48 pages 2007 When her cat Ocho becomes ill, Annie, a little girl becomes devastated. The book illustrates the depth of

Annie and Ocho’s relationship: Annie cares for Ocho when he is healthy and when he becomes ill, she

tries to provide him with what he needs as he is dying. This book guides adults in shaping children’s

experiences and is written in a way that explains grief in terms that children can understand. Ocho Loved

Flowers helps children and adults learn about having strong relationships, communication, having

compassion and letting go.

I Remember: A Book About My Special Pet Authors: Mary and Herb Montgomery 32 pages 2000 For adults and children, this fill-in memory book provides space for photos, drawings, recording memories

and celebrating all the ways a pet was loved and special.

A Special Place for Charlee: A Child’s Companion Through Pet Loss Author: Debby Moorhead 28 pages 1996 Sensitively written, this book helps practitioners and parents in guiding children through pet loss. It

discusses the meaning of love and pet loss and provides parents the appropriate words to express

feelings to help children deal with the painful experience of pet loss.

Online Support & Resources There are many online resources about pet loss. We have listed a few below: Argus Institute (A comprehensive website on pet loss, grieving and moving forward) http://csuvth.colostate.edu/diagnostic_and_support/argus/ “Grieving the Loss of a Pet: Understanding and coping with the grief of losing a pet” by Pat McHenry Sullivan, M.A. & Gina Kemp, M.A. http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grieving_pets.htm

“Only those who avoid love can avoid grief.

The point is to learn from grief and remain vulnerable to love.” -John Brantner

http://csuvth.colostate.edu/diagnostic_and_support/argus/

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grieving_pets.htm


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CCPLB (Canadian Centre for Pet Loss Bereavement) http://www.petlosssupport.ca/resource.php Pet Loss Matters http://www.pet-loss-matters.com/index.html “Ten Tips on Coping with Pet Loss” by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. http://www.pet-loss.net/ Rainbow Bridge http://rainbowsbridge.com/hello.htm

To view the Rainbow Bridge poem in another language: http://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

Books What Now? Support for You and Your Companion Animal Author: Argus Institute, University of Colorado 24 pages 2009 This comprehensive guide offers strategies for evaluating health care choices, assessing quality of life,

making end-of-life decisions and coping with loss.

Goodbye My Friend Author: Mary and Herb Montgomery 31 pages 1991 Beautifully illustrated and written with compassion and love, the authors have included brief stories from

others to discuss memories, pain, grief and helping children to deal with the loss of a pet.

For Every Dog an Angel Author: Christine Davis 32 pages 1998 Written after the unexpected loss of her “forever dog” Martha, this light, heart-felt book honours the

timeless connection between people and their canine companions bringing comfort to those who have

lost their beloved companion.

For Every Cat an Angel Author: Christine Davis 32 pages 2000 Christine Davis, the author, writes with the same heartfelt style as in For Every Dog an Angel to honour

the timeless connection between people and their feline companions bringing comfort to those who have

lost their beloved companion.

“However long the night, the dawn will break.”

-African Proverb

http://www.petlosssupport.ca/resource.php

http://www.pet-loss-matters.com/index.html

http://www.pet-loss.net/

http://rainbowsbridge.com/hello.htm

http://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm

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