Tinder Love: The Right Swipe , Week 3 - “Love Story” ➡ Ice Breaker and Introductory Scripture: ˓ Kent talked about how smooth it is when someone says, “Mi amor.” For you, what’s the most romantic thing someone can say or do? Buy jewelry? Show up with food? Clean the toilet? ˓ Sunday’s message was about a great, lasting love story. Who in your life has showed you the most and/or taught you the most about how to do love the right way? Tell us about them. ➡ Sermon Content: Ê Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 - I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun. ˓ Solomon went through a period of time where he denied himself nothing, and he found it to be pretty empty. A lot of us have had at least a stint like that—how is it possible that we can do or try everything under the sun and still end up unhappy? Ê Song of Songs 1:2 - Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine. ˓ Kent said that when romance starts to fade in a relationship, one of the first signs is that a couple stops kissing. What have you seen or experienced that indicate a relationship’s romance is fading, or a couple is drifting apart? Ê Song of Songs 1:3 - Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Kent explained how this isn’t just about scent—she’s saying, “Your character is just as attractive to me as the cologne that you wear. The person you are, the man that you are, your integrity, your character is just as attractive to me as anything physical about you.”

Ê Love at first insight . Kent said that he doesn’t know about love at first sight, but he does believe in love at first insight. This is when you look beyond the person’s physical attributes and take notice of who they really are what they care about. ˓ How has overemphasizing love at first SIGHT instead of INSIGHT gotten you in trouble in the past? ˓ What are some examples of how love at first INSIGHT paid off for you? ˓ If you’re single, how can you practically value love at first insight over love at first sight? If you’re married, what advice do you have for single people to help them do that? Ê Song of Songs 3:7-8 - Look! It is Solomon’s carriage, escorted by sixty warriors, the noblest of Israel, all of them wearing the sword, all experienced in battle, each with his sword at his side, prepared for the terrors of the night. Kent followed up this verse by saying, “We all need people in our lives—friends and family—who are willing to fight for our relationship: the kind of people who will do everything they can to help your marriage succeed. The kind of people who will cheer your love on. The kind of people who won’t take jabs at your relationship whenever they see the opportunity.” Ê We all need people who will come alongside and fight for our relationship. ˓ How have you seen someone’s relationship/marriage (yours or someone’s you know) suffer or thrive because of the people around them? Ê Gold diggers: 1. Don’t marry ‘em. 2. Don’t be one. Marry someone who loves you for you, not because of what you can provide. Ê Losers: 1. Don’t marry ‘em 2. Don’t be one. Don’t marry someone who’s not willing to work for a living. Don’t marry someone who’s not willing to contribute to the marriage—financially, emotionally, effort-wise, etc. ˓ Married people: if you could say anything to a single person you know about what type of person not to marry, what would you say? ˓ What if you or someone you know has married someone who doesn’t contribute? What kind of encouragement/advice/support can you offer them?

Ê Philippians 2:3-4 - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Ê When it comes to anything in marriage, selflessness—not selfishness—is the key. Kent referred specifically to sex in marriage, but this principle applies across the board, as well. Kent said that the key to a long-lasting, healthy marriage is putting each other first.

˓ In what ways might you need to take a more selfless approach to your spouse? How could it help your marriage/resolve some of your conflicts? ˓ If you’re single, how can you apply the idea of selflessness and not just looking out for your own interests to your current friendships/relationships? ˓ Do you have any stories about how putting the other person first has made a positive impact on your relationship or the relationship of someone you know? ˓ Communication, sex, work: three of the top reasons couples fight. How have you seen one of these issues create conflict in your relationship? Ê You’re gonna fight, but when you do, fight fair. Don’t point fingers. Don’t make assumptions about the other’s motives. Believe the best. Don’t match someone’s tone if they’re angry. ˓ Fighting fair is crucial. What have you learned about the best and worst ways to resolve conflict with your significant other (and your friends)? What works, and what doesn’t work? ➡ Application and Next Steps: Ê Take stock of your marriage—is there anything YOU can work on to make it better? (Emphasis on you , not your spouse.) Ê If you’re married: Are your friends/people in your life helping or hurting your marriage? What can you do to either fix that or continue to cultivate that?

Ê If you’re single: Are your friends/people in your life helping or hurting you? What can you do to either fix that or continue to cultivate that? Ê If you’re married: what’s the one thing you can do to improve communication with your spouse this week? Ê If you’re married: what’s the one thing you can do to be more selfless with your spouse this week? Ê If you’re single: what’s the one thing you can do to improve communication with the people in your life this week? Ê If you’re single: what’s the one thing you can do to be more selfless with the people in your life this week?