Timely Topic for Spring Conference · 11.06.2012 · CareerBuilder writer, Beth Braccio Hering....
Transcript of Timely Topic for Spring Conference · 11.06.2012 · CareerBuilder writer, Beth Braccio Hering....
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 1
Fam
ily F
orum
SPRING 2012
Family Forum is the
newsletterof the
Minnesota Council on
Family Relations, a
state affiliate of the
National Council on
Family Relations
The Minnesota Council on Family Relations strengthens all families by
educating and supporting family professionals and promoting
connections among those involved in research, policy and practice.
Timely Topic for Spring ConferenceSharonPowell,SpringConferenceCo‐chair
HowcanFamilyEducators,SocialWorkers,MinistersandrelatedYouthandFamilyprofessionalsbestservetheneedsofsame‐sexcouplesandtheirfamilies?Howcanwesupportconversationsaboutcontroversialtopics?Whatarethequestionsthathelpvotersandlegislatorsidentifytheimpactoftheproposed
MarriageAmendmentonfamilies?Howdocurrentstatutesaffectsame‐sexcouplesandtheirfamilies?Howcanschoolprogramssuccessfullyserve,nurtureandprotectGLBTQyouth?WhatdoweneedtoknowaboutGLBTQrelationshipandfamilyformationdevelopment?WewillbegintoanswerthosequestionsatourspringconferenceonMonday,June11thattheComoRainforestAuditorium.Don’tmissthisopportunitytogatherwithyourcolleaguesandobtaininformationyouwillneedinyourworkwithfamiliesbeforeandafterthisfall’svoteonMarriageAmendmentinMinnesota.Welookforwardtoadayfilledwiththoughtfuldiscussion,inspiringbreakoutsessions,informativekeynotespeakersandamovingperformancebythe515Playershighlightingthediverselegalissuesfacedbysame‐sexcouplesandtheirfamilies.Letyourcolleagues,collaborators,ministers,legislatorsandschooldistrictpersonnelknowaboutthisopportunity.Gotowww.mcfr.netformoreinformationandtoregister.
Go to
pages 11-12 forSpring Conference
Information and printable registration
forms to register bymail or fax.
June 11, 2012! Spring 2012 MCFR ConferenceSame-Sex Couples and their Families: Connecting Policy, Research and Practice
Como Park Visitor Center, Rainforest Auditorium, St Paul, MN
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 2
Greetings MCFR Members,
IamdeeplyhonoredandgratefultohaveanopportunitytoservetheMCFRBoardofDirectorsasPresidentthisyear.IamalsodeeplytouchedbythegreatcooperationandcollaborationofMCFRmembers,includingthefabulousMCFRpastandcurrentBoardmembersandourbrilliantAdministrativeDirector,LindaVukelich,tostrengthenallfamiliesbyeducatingandsupportingfamilyprofessionalsandpromotingconnectionsamongthoseinvolvedinresearch,policy,andpracticeinMinnesota.It’snot“Minnesotanice,”Isay,“It’sMinnesotagreat!”
The Difference between Management and LeadershipYoumaybeinapositiontomanagepeopleinanorganization,suchasaschool,hospital,company,orgovernment.“Butareyouactuallyleadingthem?”askedaCareerBuilderwriter,BethBraccioHering.Shearguesthattoptalentintoday’sworkplaceknowsthatbothmanagementandleadershipskillsarenecessaryforsuccess.
A manager accomplishes tasks, but a leader inspires people.Bothmanagersandleaderscarethatworkgetsdone.Forexample,amanagershouldbeabletoorganizeandpulltogetherthenecessaryelementstofinishaprojectontime.Incontrast,JosephGrenny,co‐authorofInfluencer,saysthatmanagersoftenstruggletoachievetheresultstheywantbecausewhentheirteamfailstodeliver,managerstypicallyblametheirteamforlackofmotivationandaskthemtosimplyworkharder.However,hearguesthatthemostinfluentialleaders–the5percentwhosucceedconsistentlyatinfluencingprofoundandessentialbehaviorchange–practiceintentionalinfluencebyspendingasmuchashalfoftheirtimethinkingaboutandactivelyinfluencingthebehaviorstheyknowwillleadtotopperformance.
A manager executes a plan, but a leader has a vision.Managersaremorelikelygoodatfollowingthroughondirections.Theymayhaveexceptionalabilitytosticktobudgets,organizeresources,andstayontrack.Ofcourse,allofthemareveryimportanttotheday‐to‐dayoperationsofacompanyoranorganization.Butthesestrengthsmaynotalwaystranslateintobeingaleader.PeteFriedes,formerCEOoftheinternationalhumanresourceconsultingfirmHewittAssociatesandco‐founderofmanagingpeoplebetter.com,saysthatthemanagerismoreintothedetailsofgettingthingsdonethantheleader.Theleaderismoreintocommunicatingwheretheorganizationistryingtogo.Hearguesthattheleaderhasavisionofwhatdirectiontheorganizationshouldgo,whattheorganizationcanaccomplishandgenerallyhowitshouldaccomplishtasksthatleadtowardthevision.
Leadership requires good management skills, but the reverse is not necessarily true.Leadersaremorelikelytousetheirmanagerialskillstocarryoutvisionstotheirfullpotential.Friedessaysthatthebestleadersarealsogoodmanagers,but
From the President San HaMinnesota Council on Family Relations
Board of DirectorsPresident
..........................San Ha 612-564-8877
President-Elect..................Mary Maher 612-247-3619
Immediate Past President..............Leanne Sponsel 651-646-1474
Secretary...................Kristin Dillon 612-484-4014
Treasurer...................Beth Yokom 763-433-4901
Membership Committee Chair ..............................Volunteer Needed
Policy Committee Chair..............................Volunteer Needed
Communications Committee Chair..............................Volunteer Needed
Ethical Practices Project Chair..................Betty Cooke 952-545-0588
Spring Conference Chair................Sharon Powell 612-729-7459
Ethics Workshops Coordinating Committee Chairs
........................Bill Allen 612-701-3813..................Mary Maher 612-247-3619
Student/New Professional Section..........Chair Chun Zhang 612-232-3612
NCFR Representative.....................Rose Allen 651-480-7745
Past Presidents....................Ada Alden 612-975-6990.....................Glen Palm 320-308-2129......................Ron Pitzer 612-331-1970
At-Large Members..................MIke Bender 763-331-4443
..............Michael Brown 651-582-8399................Carol Bruess 651-962-5829
............Peggy Cardenas 651-230-7220..........Colleen Clements 651-402-1224
...............Beth Gausman 763-432-7164.............Alisha Hardman 612-616-6906
....................Lisa Krause 763-438-1093............Raelene Ostberg 507-645-2948
...................Gail Peavey 612-940-4245................Sharon Powell 612-729-7459
Family Forum Editor: ......................Ron Pitzer 612-331-1970
Family Forum Managing Editor: ...............Linda Vukelich 651-278-4241
Minnesota Council on Family Relations2738 Evergreen Cir, St. Paul, MN 55110
phone: 651-407-0950 fax: 651-407-1754www.mcfr.net
Continued on page 3
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 3
thebestmanagersmayormaynotbecomegoodleadersbecausetheymaynothavethevisiontoknowwheretheorganizationshouldbeheading.Henotesthatatmostlevelsinanorganization,onecanbeagoodmanagerwithoutbeingaleaderbygettingtasksdoneeffectivelyandaccomplishinggoalssetbyhighermanagersandleaders.Butsolelybeingabletomanagepeoplewellmaynotbeenoughtoleadtheorganization.
I have a vision that strengthening all families is the best way to build a wonderful world for all.Ibelievethatfamiliesconstitutetheworldinwhichwelive.Therefore,itiscriticaltosupportandempowerallfamiliestostrengthenthefoundationoftheworld.Idon’tknowwhetherIamamanageroraleader,butIknowthat
Iamtryingtobeapersonwhostrivestomaketheworldabetterplaceforall,especiallybystrengtheningallfamilies.IfyouarereadingthisMCFRFamilyForum,Ibelieveyouhavealreadybeendoingwonderfulthingsforyourfamily,friends,communityand/ortheworld.AndIalsobelievethatifwecooperateandcollaboratetogether,ourvisionswillbecarriedouttotheirfullpotentialeffectivelynotonlyforusbutalsoforgenerationstocome.Inadditiontoyourownvisions,dreams,orgoals,IhopeyoucanhelpusachievethemissionofMCFRaswell.
Haveawonderfullifewithyourfamilyandfriends!
SanHa,M.Ed.MCFRPresident
From the President San Ha (Continued from page 2)
A note from the Editor:
Enjoythisissueofthenewsletter—perhapswhileexperiencingthepleasantsummerbreezes.Mythankstoall ofthecontributorswhohavepreparedtheseitemstoinformandenlightenus.Again,IencourageeachofyoutoconsidercontributingtoFamilyForumbypreparingabookrevieworaresearcharticle/brieforbysubmittinganitemfor“Members’Corner”(ourversionofLetterstotheEditor).IfyouhaveanysuggestionsforimprovementofFamilyForum,pleaseletmeknow.Thankyou.
RonPitzerFamilyForumeditor
Wearecallingforproposalsandpostersforthe2012MCFRFallConferenceonNovember16!Studentsandnewprofessionalswhoareinterestedinbuildingstrongrelationshipswithinthefamilylifefieldareencouragedtosubmittheirproposalsandposterseightweeksbeforetheconference–bymid‐
September.Also,studentsandnewprofessionalsatanylevelarewelcomedtoparticipateintheMCFRcommunity.EnjoythenicesummerandgetyourproposalsandpostersreadyfortheupcomingMCFRfallconference!!!
Student/New Professional Section Chun Zhang, Student and New Professional Section
June 11, 2012! Spring 2012 MCFR ConferenceSame-Sex Couples and their Families: Connecting Policy, Research and Practice
Como Park Visitor Center, Rainforest Auditorium, St Paul, MN
Tune-in to the Esme Murphy show on WCCO 850 am on Saturday, June 2 at 7:30 pm, to hear an interview with our keynote presenter Maureen Ittig, PhD!
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 4
Communications
Beth Yokom, MCFR Treasurer
Currently,MCFRfinancesareabitoutofstepwiththe2012budget,primarilyduetotheannualspringconferencedateofJune11,whichislaterthanusual.ThebudgetwascreatedassumingincomeandexpensesforaconferencetobeheldinAprilorearlyMay.So,let’s“dothenumbers”asofApril30,2012: YTDtotalincome $425.33 YTDtotalexpenses 3,939.65 YTDnetordinaryincome ‐3,514.32 TotalAssets 7,909.04
Thoughwearebelowbudgetprojectionsforincomeandexpenses,weexpectthingstocatchupfinanciallyasconferenceregistrationscomeinfortheJune11conference,Serving Same‐Sex Couples and Their Families: Connecting Policy, Research and Practice.
Makeyourplansnowtoattendtheconference!We’dlovetoseeALLMCFRmembersthereasweconsideraverytimelytopicfrommanyperspectives.Registrationandotherconferencedetailscanbefoundelsewhereinthisnewsletter.
Bestofall,whenyoureneworjoinMCFR,yousave$20ontheconferenceregistrationfee‐asoundfinancialdecisionforyourpocketbookandforours.MCFR’sfinancialhealthdependsuponmembershipandconferenceparticipation,sojoin/renewandregister!
I’mlookingforwardtoseeingyouattheconferenceonJune11!
Committee Reports Treasurer’s Corner
What’s New at NCFR
Thisyear’sNCFRConferencebeginsonOctober31inPhoenix,Arizona.YoumaynothaveHalloweenplansyet,butthinkaboutincludingNCFRinyourcelebration.Thisyear’sconferencethemeis“FamiliesandHealth”.Topeekattheprogram,gotohttp://www.ncfr.org/ncfr‐2012
Early bird registration rates end on June 30.NCFRpublishesReport‐aquarterlymagazineformembers.TheSpring2012issuefocusesonMilitaryFamilies.ThisissueisavailableforanyonetoviewontheNCFRwebsiteathttp://www.ncfr.org/ncfr‐report/reportcurrent‐issue
VideoLexiconisaprojectcurrentlybeingdonebyNCFR.Theyarecollectingshortconversationsfromsomeofthetopresearchersinthefamilyfieldandputtingthemon‐lineattheNCFRwebsite.http://www.ncfr.org/community/video‐lexicon
Minnesotaresearchersareincluded.Pauline BossdescribesAmbiguousLossandJean Illsley ClarketalksaboutOverindulgence.
Fortheseandotherresources–checkouttheNCFRwebsiteatwww.ncfr.org.
RoseAllen,PresidentElect–AffiliateCouncilBoard
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 5
IamstillinterestedinreceivingcasestudiesaboutethicalissuesthatparenteducatorsinMNarefacing.IntheinterestofkeepingthepurposeofthisMCFRcolumn(toidentifyethicalissuesandtoapplytheMCFRapproachtoethics)aliveIhavecreatedacasestudytoconsider.AsamemberoftheNationalParentingEducationNetwork(NPEN)IreadwithinteresttherecentdiscussionabouttheBacktoSleepcampaignandhowdifferentparenteducatorswererespondingtohowtheyconveyedthemessageofthiscampaigntoparents.TherecentTimemagazinearticleandcoveronAttachmentParentingbringsadifferentperspectivetosleepissuespromotingco‐sleeping.Helpinginfantssleepisacommontopicinparenteducationgroupsandcanbecomeanethicaldilemmaforparenteducators.TheNationalInstituteofChildHealthandDevelopmentinitiatedtheBacktoSleepcampaigninthe1990sasapreventativemeasureagainstSuddenInfantDeathSyndrome(SIDS).Seethewebsite(http://www.nichd.nih.gov/sids/)formoreinformationaboutthecampaignandtheevidencetobackuptheimportanceoftherecommendedpracticesforparentsaroundinfantsleep.ThediscussionontheNPENlistservhasbeenfocusedonhowtoshareinformationlikethiswithparents.InitiallyitappearedthatitwasjustamatteroftellingparentsthisiswhatisrecommendedfromareliablesourceandisbasedonresearchrelatedtoSIDS.Therearefewareasinparentingwherewecanfeelcompletelysureabouttherecommendationsthatwegive.PreventingSIDSbytellingparentsinamoreauthoritativewaytoput
babiestosleepontheirbacks(supineposition)seemslikeano‐brainer.Asthediscussionwentonitbecameclearthatitmightnotbeassimpleasitseems.YoumightalsowanttolookatthereviewofBacktoSleeponWikipedia(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back‐to‐Sleep).AttachmentParenting(AP)byDr.WilliamSearswasalsodevelopedasaparentingphilosophyduringthe1990s.OneoftheprinciplesofAPthatwasarticulatedwasaroundsleepwiththerecommendationforco‐sleepingasawaytodealwiththeinfant’sneedsduringthenight.APprovidessomeclearguidelinesabouthowtodothistobesafebutitstillappearstobeinconflictwiththeBacktoSleepcampaign.Itwouldnotbedifficulttoimagineaparentgroupforinfantsthathadparentswhohelddifferingviewsaboutsleeprepresentedbythetwogroupsidentified.ThequestionfortheparenteducatorishowtoshareinformationaboutBacktoSleepwithparents.Isitanethicaldilemma?Canthegroupprocessforethicalthinkingbeusedtoprovidenewinsightsintothissituationinbothhowtolistentoparentsandhowtosupportparentsinmakingdecisionsthatareinthebestinterestsoftheirbabiesandtheirfamilies.
There is a parent group of 9 mothers and 1 father with infants ages 3‐9 months. Two parents in the group are “true Believers” of Attachment Parenting and have adapted co‐sleeping as part of their parenting practices. The parent educator has raised two children who were infants prior to the Back to Sleep campaign. Both typically slept on their tummies
and encountered no problems. She is a bit skeptical about the research behind Back to Sleep but feels the need to share it with parents. There is another parent in the group who lost a sibling to SIDS during the 1980s and is an ardent advocate for Back to Sleep practices. She can’t understand why anyone would risk not using this approach to putting babies to sleep. Two other mothers are struggling with sleep issues and have tried putting their babies to sleep on their backs and are not finding this to work with their babies. TakesometimetoreviewtheMCFRethicalprocessandapplyittothiscase.Todecideifthisisindeedanethicaldilemma,reviewtheprinciplestoseewhichonesapply.Arethereconflictsbetweendifferentprinciplesinthelist?Forexampleinthefirstsetofprinciplesaboutrelationshipswithparentsnumber3reads,”Wewillrespectculturalbeliefs,backgroundsanddifferencesandengageinpracticethatissensitivetothediversityofchild‐rearingvaluesandgoals.”Thissuggeststhatwerespectthatparentsmayhavedifferentperspectivesonissueslikeinfantsleeping.Someparentsmayvalueco‐sleepingwhichisdifferentfromthecurrentrecommendations.Wecouldalsoapplyprinciple3fromSection2aboutourrelationshipswithchildren.Thisprinciplereads,“Wewilldonoharmtochildrenandyouthandinsistthesamefromothers.”TherecommendationsfromBacktoSleeparemadebasedonpublichealthresearchinformationmeanttoprotectchildrenandreducetheincidenceofSIDS.Wearealsocommittedtoourowndevelopmentofaknowledgebasethatguidesus
Parent Education Ethics in Practice by Glen Palm, Professor and Head, Family Studies Department, St Cloud State University, MCFR Board
CaseStudy
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MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 6
Parent Education Ethics in Practice(Continued from page 5)
Ethical Thinking and Practice:Updating and Collaborating
MaryMaher,President‐Electtowardethicalandeffectivepracticeasparenteducators.CantheMCFRprocessbeusedtoprovidesomenewinsightsintothisissueinbothhowtolistentoparentsandhowtohelpparentsmakedecisionsthatareinthebestinterestsoftheirbabiesandtheirfamilies?PleasesendanycommentsaboutyouranalysisofthiscaseusingtheMCFRethicsprocesssothattheresultscanbesharedinafutureissueoftheFamilyForum.
SevenpresentersoftheEthicsWorkshopsmeton4/27toreviewandedittheupdatedpowerpointpresentation.BillAllenisadaptingtheslidestoincludemanyofthegroup’swiseandcreativesuggestions.Thescriptwillalsobeamendedandthenactivemarketingoftheworkshopswillbeginagain.DawnCassidyandJasonSamuelsofNCFRheldaninitialmeetingwithBettyCookeandBethGausmantodevelopplansforaWebinarversionoftheworkshop.Asecondmeetingisscheduledfor5/10.WelookforwardtotheopportunitytopresentthismaterialtoCFLEsacrossthecountry.
Membership Update:Social Work Continuing Education
CreditLetyourSocialWorkcolleaguesknowthatMCFRconferencesnowofferContinuingEducationCreditsfortheirlicensure.MembershipbringsaheftydiscounttotheregistrationfeeaswellasfirstaccesstoMinneNewsandtheForum.
Encourage a colleague or friend to join now!
Stay in touch at www.mcfr.net
Annual MCFR Conference – November 16, 2012
The keynote speaker for the
Annual MCFR Conferenceon Friday, November 16
will be
Pauline Boss, PhD
Pauline’smostrecentbookis“LovingSomeoneWhoHasDementia:Howtofindhopewhilecopingwithstressandgrief.”Buildinguponherbackgroundin
ambiguousloss,sheturnsthetablestofocusonthefamilieswhoarelivingwithdementiaandcaringforlovedones.ShehaskeptverybusywithmanyspeechesandworkthroughouttheUnitedStatesandbeyond.Weareveryluckytohaveherwithus,andwantedtosharethedateandnameearly.
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 7
MCFR Annual Conference – November 16, 2012ChangeinDateforourAnnualConference.InitiallyplannedforthefirstFridayinDecember,wechangedthedatewhenPaulineBosshadaconflictwithgettingbackfromasessionwithfamilytherapistsinJapanplanningsupportprogramsforfamilieswithambiguouslossfollowingthemassive2011tsunami.
Greatideasevolveovertime,andhowtheoryisdevelopedwillbeshownbyourkeynotespeaker,PaulineBoss.Hermostrecentbook,Loving Someone Who Has Dementia: How to Find Hope While Coping with Stress and Grief,isagifttoanyfamilymemberwhohaddealtwithmemorylossofalovedone.
VernBengtson,PhD,USC,pastpresenterinMinnesotasaid:“Thisbookisamustforanyonesuffering
alongsidealovedonewithdementia.Dr.Bosswriteswiththewisdomofascholarandthewarmthofafamilytherapist.”MacaranA.Baird,MD,MS,professorandhead,UofMNMedicalSchool,Dept.ofFamilyMedicineandCommunityHealthsaid:“Thisismorethanasurvivalguideforunpaidcaregiversandsupportgroupsforfamiliesofthosewithdementia.Itisaneasilyunderstoodself‐caremanualforlivingwellthatilluminatesoptionsforfindingbalanceandresiliencewhilemanagingtheambiguouslossofhavingalovedonewithdementia.”
Otherpresentationswillbeconfirmedlater,butLeahHansonhasagreedtopresentthebackgroundfordevelopingthelongitudinalstudyatRegions
HospitalontheMinnesotaMemoryProject.Therewillbeacallforpresentationssothatthelifespanwillbeaddressed.Asusual,therewillbeworkshops,studentpresentations,food,andasilentauctiontofundscholarshipsforstudentstoattendconferences.TherewillalsobeanupdateoftheactivitiesoftheMinnesotaCouncilonFamilyRelationsthroughouttheyear–andhonoringspecialpeoplewithourtwoMCFRAwards.
Thelocationfortheconferencewillbeidentifiedshortly.
Ifthisintriguesyou,pleaseletmeknow.Wewouldlovetohaveyouonourplanningteam.Myemailis:smeyers@umn.edu.MinnellTralleandLeanneSponselarealsoonthecommittee.
Welookforwardtoseeingyou
SueMeyers,Chair,AnnualConferencePlanningCommittee
Recentresearch,citedonlinebyHuffpostHealthyLiving1/12/2012,indicatesthatInternetaddictsexperiencebrainchangessimilartothoseofalcoholicsandgamblers.Thenewlypublishedstudy,inPlosOne,ajournalofthePublicLibraryScience,saysthatbrainsofInternetaddictsseemtoundergochemicalchangessimilartothoseofalcoholicsandotherdrugaddicts.ThereisnowadiagnosticevaluationcalledIADorInternetAddictionDisorder.Researchersfounddifferencesbetweenaddictsandnon‐addictsinthepartofthebrainlinkedtoemotionalprocessing,executive
thinkingskillsandcognitivefunctioning.WithInternetaddicts,researcherswereabletofindthepartofthebrainwhereabnormalconnectionsbetweennervefibers,similartothebrainsofalcoholicsandotherswithimpulsecontroldisorders,werefound.ResearcherHenriettaBowden‐Jones,SeniorLectureratImperialCollegeLondon,said,“Wearefinallybeingtoldwhatclinicianssuspectedforsometimenow,thatwhite‐matterabnormalitiesintheorbito‐frontalcortexandothertrulysignificantbrainareasarepresentnotonlyinaddictionswheresubstancesareinvolvedbutalsoinbehavioral
onessuchasInternetaddiction.”Researchershavelongarguedoverwhethervarioustypesoftechnologyaddiction,suchasInternetandvideogames,shouldbeofficiallyclassifiedasamentalillness.Thisresearchshouldputthatargumenttorest.TherehaveevenbeensomedeathsreportedduetoInternetaddiction:a20‐year‐oldvideogamesenthusiastwhodiedfromabloodclotdoctorsbelievedevelopedbecausehewasspendingmorethan12hoursadayplayingvideogames,anda21‐year‐oldmanfounddeadinhishometwomonthsafterhedevelopedagaming
review Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap
Reviewed by Marcie Parker, Ph.D., CFLE, President and CEO of Parker and Associates, a healthcare research and consulting firm in Excelsior, Minnesota.
[By Kevin Roberts; published by Hazelden-call 1-800-328-9000; 2010; ISBN # 978-1-59-285-948-1; softcover; 2010, 181 pages]
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MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 8
addictionsostrongherarelysleptorlefthisroom‐‐‐‐despitedifficultybreathing,thismanrefusedtogotothedoctorandcontinuedplayingvideogames.AsofNovember2011,SouthKoreahasanewlawrequiringgamingsitestoshutoutplayersunder16fora6‐hourblockeverynight. KevinRobertsisarecoveringvideogameaddictwhohaswrittenthisbookinordertohelpaddicts,theirfriendsandfamilymemberscometogripswithInternetaddictionandseekhelp.Robertssaysthatincreasingnumbersofpeopleareisolatingthemselves,ignoringrealityandrealhumanrelationships,turningtheirbacksonfamilyandfriends,andevenlosingtheirjobsandlivelihoodsduetotheiraddictiontotheInternetandvideogames.Robertsprovidescompulsivegamersandsurfers,theirfamilies,friendsandco‐workers,withastep‐by‐stepguidetowardrecovery.Thekindsofhelpheoffersincludesupportgroupstoassistthosestrugglingwithcyberaddiction,aswellasreferralsforone‐on‐oneandfamilyandgrouptherapyandpsychiatrichelpwithdrugtherapyaswell. Oneofthethingsthatmakesthisaddictionchallengingisthatweall,tosomedegreeoranother,mustusetheInternetonaregularbasisatworkandathomeinordertofunction.Inthisway,itissimilartoanorexia,bulimiaandbinginginthatweallneedtoeatandneedtohaveabalancedandpeacefulrelationshipwithfood.Thus,aswithfood,wemustdevelopahealthyrelationshipwithonlineactivities.Anotherthingthatcanmakethisadifficultaddictiontobreakisthatthesameskillsandaptitudesthatcanleadtotwenty‐firstcenturyaddictswhoturnaninnocentpastimeintosomethingwhichtakescontroloverone’slife,alternatesrealityandalienatesfamilyandfriends,canalsoleadacyberaddictto
challengingandhighlylucrativecareers. Thereis,ofcourse,abrightupsidetousingtheInternetandplayingvideogames.AsRobertspointsout,successasabusinessleadermaydependonskillsdevelopedasagamer.Onlinegamerscompeteincomplexandchangingvirtualenvironments,organize,buildskillsandfunctioninvariousrolesandmustlearntorecruit,organize,motivateanddirectlargegroupsofplayerstowardasinglespecificgoal.Theyalsolearntotakecalculatedrisksandmakedecisivedecisionswithimperfectandincompleteinformation.Theseonlinemanagersmustalsodealskillfullywithconflictandconflictresolution.Ithasbeenreportedthatsurgeonswhoplayvideogamesmorethan3hoursaweekare37%lesslikelytomakemistakesduringaspecificsurgicalprocedureandfinishtheprocedure27%fasterthannon‐gamers.Videogamesarealsocriticallyimportantindevelopingandmaintainingtheskillsofsoldiersresponsibleforelectronicbattlefieldmonitoringandpredatordronesurveillance.Educationalresearchersfindthateducationalvideogamesinclassroomsprovideaninteractivewaytoimpartinformationandmorefullyengagestudentsinlearning.OncologistshavesuccessfullyusedagamecallRe‐Missionwithyoungcancerpatientstoimprovetherapeuticadherenceandtreatmentsuccess.Theelderlyhavebegunusingvideogamestomaintainphysicalandmentalagilityandtokeepupwithsocialnetworkingnationwideandworldwide. Withallthissaid,therearesomeInternetusersandvideogamerswhobecomestronglyaddictedandstruggletofunctioninreality,workandfamily.AsDr.JohnEveringhamsaysintheforeword,“Likemanyaddicts,Ihavetradedoneaddictionforanotherthroughoutmylife.”[p.X]
Ibecameawareofthisserialaddictionwatchingaco‐workerinoneofmyfirstpositionsasaresearcher.Thisgalwasaddicted,serially,tomarijuana,cocaine,caffeine,sex,overeating,dieting,drinking4‐5bottlesofNyquileachnighttogettosleep,exerciseandonandon.IamsurebynowshehasspedthroughInternetaddictionandisontosomethingelse.Thiswasmyfirstrealawarenessthatnature/geneticsmightplayamuchbiggerroleinaddictionsthanwascommonlyarguedbythenurturecamp.” RobertsfascinatingnewbookincludesanIntroduction,WelcometotheCyberUniverse,ChooseYourPoison,YourBraininCyberland,IntotheBlackHole,ClimbingOutoftheHole,TheJourneyofRecoveryContinues,AGuideforLovedOnes,Resources,NotesandAbouttheAuthor.Inchapters1‐2,hehelpsuspeerintoandunderstandthecyberworld.Inchapters3‐4,Robertslooksatthescienceandbehaviorsinvolvedinaddiction,andhowthisaddictionis similartoothers.Inchapters5‐6hetellsthestoryofhisownrecoveryandprovidescasestudiesofotherswhohaveovercomethisaddiction.Andinchapter7,Robertsofferswaysthatfamilyandfriendsofacyberjunkiecanhelp,whetherthatpersonisachildoranadult. Hepointsoutthatformostpeople,whilevideoandcomputergamesandotherformsofdigitaltechnologyaremerelyusefulandharmlessadditionstoourlives,forotherstheiruseiscompulsiveandexcessive.Timespentwiththesedevicesbeginstosupplantrealrelationshipswithrealpeopleandcauseaddictstoturnawayfromsocialsituations,timespentwithfamilyandfriendsandevenlossofjobs.Thisaddictionbeginstotakeitstollonone’smental,physical,andemotionalhealth.Robertssaysthathe
Continued on page 9
Review - Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap (Continued from page 7)
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 9
experiencescarpaltunnelsyndromeandpersistentbackpainfromhisaddictiontovideogamesandtheInternet,hehasmissedappointments,lostjobs,lostlotsofmoneyandcreatedsignificantbarrierstohismaintainingrelationshipsandfriendships.Insteadofspendingtimewithfriendsandfamily,hewouldsinkhoursanddaysintochattingwithso‐called“friends”aroundtheworld.Hemissedsocialgatherings,dinnerswithfriendsandtimewithfamily.Hehadaninsatiableurgetogame,surfandchatonline,oftenin50‐hourgamingbingesandall‐nightonlinechatting.Healsobeganlyingtofriends,claimingtobeonanout‐of‐towntrip,when,infact,hewasspendingdaysandnightsonthecomputer. Likemostaddicts,RobertsdideverythinghecouldtohidehisInternet/gamingaddictionfromeveryone.Likegamblingaddiction,itcanbekeptsecretfromfamilyandfriendsuntilthegamblerhascleanedoutallthesavings,401Kplans,andpensionsandlostthehousebeforeanyoneinthefamilyrealizeswhatisgoingon.ItfinallytookRoberts’willingnesstoadmithehadaproblemtomakeuseoftalktherapy,drugtherapy,friendsandstrongsupportgroupstoallowhimtogainsomedegreeofcontrolovertheaddiction.Inordertowritethisbook,Robertshashadtotalkwithplayersfromaroundtheworld,visitgamingforums,takeacloselookatFacebook,MySpaceandothernetworkingsitesandscourtheprofessionalliteratureforwhatlittleresearchexistsonthetopic.Whathefoundisthatbecausecyberaddictionisanewphenomenon,thereislittleresearchonthetopicbuttheresearchisswellingeveryyear. ThegoalofthisbookistohelpanyoneaffectedbyoveruseoftheInternet,videogamesorotherelectronicdevices.Theaddict,someonewholoveshimorher,apartner,achild,orafriendcouldallusethisbooktoadvantage.Thiscanbeaverydifficultaddictionforfamily
andfriendstounderstand.SomegamershavesuchanaddictionthattheywillactuallyurinateinabottleratherthangetuptousethebathroomandwillforegomealsandjobsratherthansignofftheInternet.Socialnetworks,whichcanencouragebroadeningone’shorizons,fosterartisticandcreativetalents,enhancecommunication,travelandnetworking,canalsostuntrealtimehumancontactandrelationships.Videogamesalsoencourageahighlysedentarylifestyleinchildrenandteenswhentheyreallyneedphysicalactivity,friends,asociallifeandhometime. Thisbookiswell‐written,packedwithcasestudies,verbatimquotesfromaddicts,theirfriends,parents,familiesandspouses,andwhatweknowtodateabouttheresearch.Italsocontainslists[e.g.WarningSignsofCyberAddiction,p.65]andassessmentandself‐assessmentchecklists.AhighpercentageofgamingaddictsseemtohaveAsperger’s[ahigh‐functioningformofautism],ADHD,bipolardisorderandothercomorbidities.And,aswithalladdictions,Robertscoversthetopicofwhattodoincaseofarelapse[seep.136ff].Weknowfromthebehaviorchangeliteratureonmakingahabitchangethatitisnotuncommonforpeopletoexperiencesevenormorerelapsesbeforetheyarefinallyabletomakethechangetheyareseekingapermanentpartoftheirlives. Therearesomeminorquibbleswiththebook,suchasstraysthatmissedtheeditor’seye[using“are”insteadof“is”or“less”insteadof“fewer”].Overall,thisisafascinatingbook,muchneededandonewhichwillbeagreatusetoawideaudienceofhealthcareproviders,therapists,parents,teachers,employers,andaddictsthemselves.Istronglyrecommendthebookasonewhichiseasytoread,accessibleandwhichperformsagreatservicetousall.
Review - Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap (Continued from page 8)
June 11, 2012! Spring 2012 MCFR Conference
Same-Sex Couples and their Families:Connecting Policy, Research and Practice
Como Park Visitor Center, Rainforest Auditorium, St Paul, MN
Register today! Online and mail/fax registration available at www.mcfr.net
Tune-in to the Esme Murphy show on WCCO 850 am Saturday, June 2 at 7:30 pm, to hear an interview with our keynote presenter Maureen Ittig, PhD!
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 10
MCFR History SueMeyers,ProfessorEmeritus,SchoolofSocialWork,UniversityofMinnesota;MCFRHistorianandBoardmember
Changesaremanyduringthespring‐summertransition.Therearegraduations,marriages,jobchanges,illnesses,retirements,childrenborn,movesawayfromhomeandevenconstructionzonestoaddtothelist.Howweapproacheachchangedependsonourperspectiveofchange.Isitagainorloss–orjustachange? ThelateJohnBrantnersaidthatweallcouldbenefitbychangingthewaywedothings.Hisexamplewaswherehesatduringachurchservice.Formany,theirexpectedlocationforsittingisassumed,andothersin“their”spaceareintruders.Brantnersaidthattheentireviewaroundapersonandhis/herplaceinitischangedwhenwephysicallymove.Thesunshinesdifferentlythroughthecolorfulwindowswhenseenfromadifferentangle. Constructionzonesforceustomakechanges–agivenforMinnesotaduringsummer.Ifyouknowoptions,itiseasier.Ifyouhavenevertraveledofffreeways,thetripwillbearduous.Orasmanyparentsofadevelopmentallydelayedchildknow,welcometoHolland.Youdidn’tplantogotoHolland,andthoughitislovely,itwasnotthelocationyouthoughtyouwereheadingtoforthose8months. Allchangesbringexcitementandfear.Newretireesarelearningwhattobeactiveinandhowtosavespaceforindividualinterests.Othersarefollowingpassionsheldincheckbecauseoftheiroccupations.Foranumber,familychangeswillmakeaquickchangeofperspective–
whetherpositiveornegative.Apartner’sillnessordeathofparentisscaryandremindsusofhumanlimits.Movingtoanewlocationandjobcanbestimulatingbutalsocancutlong‐heldfriendships. InApril,IwasabletoattendapresentationbyIraReiss,notedsociologistwhofocusedonhumansexuality.Hiswife,Harriet,hasbeenonthisjourneywithhim.The“young”retireesatthemeetingweresurprisedatsomestatisticsofchangesinsexualitybyyoungadults.Followinghispresentation,IattendedaworkshopwithPaulineBossonambiguouslossinfamilies.Shewovetheresearchandtheorybuildingintoaframeworkforunderstandingdynamicsoffamiliestoday–fromlivingwithstroke,toautism,todementia.Thegroupwasveryinterestedandprovidedexamplesforothersforsupport. SeveralmonthsagoIspokewithSanderLatts,apastpresidentofMCFR.Hediedlastmonthofkidneydisease.Heknewitwouldbedifficultandmadeuseofhospicecareduringthelaststagesofhisdisease.WewereamongtheMinnesotansatNCFRwhoremarkedthatwereallyshouldgettogetherinMinnesotainsteadofonlywhentravelingtoallthosefinecitieswhereNCFRwasheld. Mayallyourchangesenhancewhoyouareandprovidefodderforworkingwithfamilieswhetherpersonally,professionallyorasavolunteer.Thosegroundedinthefamilyfieldhaveexcellenttoolstoadapttochangesoccurringthroughouttheyears.
Annual MCFR Conference – November 16, 2012
The keynote speaker for the
Annual MCFR Conferenceon Friday, November 16
will be
Pauline Boss, PhDPauline’s most recent book is “Loving Someone Who Has Dementia:
How to find hope while coping with stress and grief.” Building upon her background in ambiguous loss, she turns the tables to focus on the families who are living with dementia and caring for loved ones. She has kept very busy with many speeches and work
throughout the United States and beyond. We are very lucky to have her with us.
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 11
Serving Same-Sex Couples and Their Families -Minnesota Council on Family Relations presents:
Connecting Policy, Research and Practice The conference will offer an opportunity to carefully examine the proposed marriage amendment by applying the Family Impact Analysis tool to better understand the ramifications of this policy. The interactive program will also include sessions to inform and support family practitioners in
serving all Minnesota families.
Conference Features: National and Minnesota Experts
Interactive Program Components! Two sets of Concurrent Breakout Sessions! Photography Exhibit! Theatrical Performance! Bookseller! Resource Fair! Continuing Education Credit
Clock HoursCFLESocial Work CE
Keynote presenter:
Dr Maureen IttigResearch Associate, Project Director, Penn State University
Monday, June 11, 20128:30 am - 4:30 pm
Como Park Visitor CenterRainforest Auditorium
St Paul, Minnesota
Registration form on reverse or Register online at www.mcfr.net. MCFR members save with member pricing. Scholarships available!
Call 651-321-3919 for more information.
MCFR Family Forum, Spring 2012, page 12
Registration: MCFR Annual Spring ConferenceOnline: Register online with a credit card at www.mcfr.netMail: Mail this registration form with payment to: MCFR, 2738 Evergreen Circle, St. Paul, MN 55110Fax: Fax this completed form with credit card information to:
651-407-1754
Name:___________________________________________________________________________
Address:________________________________________________________________________
City, State Zip:___________________________________________________________________
Email:___________________________________________________________________________
Phone:__________________________________________________________________________
REGISTRATION FEES: ☐ Member $99 ☐ Nonmember $119 ☐ Student/New Professional/Retired $49 ☐ Scholarship*
MCFR DUES: ☐ Individual $45 ☐ Student/Retired $25 ☐ Organization $75 (2 mbr regs)
AMOUNT DUE: Registration $_______________ Dues $_______________
TOTAL ENCLOSED/AUTHORIZED: $_______________
PAYMENT METHOD:
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☐ *Scholarship (Application required) Scholarships are available for MCFR student members and other MCFR members with financial need. Scholarship applications are available at www.mcfr.net and must be submitted by May 25. MCFR membership required. Recipients will be notified by June 1.
Minnesota Council on Family Relations presents
Serving Same-Sex Couples and Their Families-Connecting Policy, Research & Practice
Monday, June 11, 2012 8:30 am - 4:30 pm Como Park’s Rainforest Auditorium
Questions? Call 651-321-3919 or go to www.mcfr.net