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Charter

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Symbol System

Role Relations

Transformation

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Jewish marriages can take place in a synagogue or outdoors in full view of God (traditional).

All marriages are performed under a ‘chuppah’.

Most marriages take place on Sunday afternoons. Marriage is not permitted on the Sabbath or festivals.

Marriage is not permissible ;

Sabbath - day of God. Jews devote themselves to prayer

Holidays (or intermediate days)

The 49 day period between Passover & Shavous – remembers a plague that killed thousands of people.

(except ‘Lag O’mer’ – the 33rd day. A very popular wedding date!)

The Three Weeks –anniversaries of the destruction of the 1st & 2nd Temples

Australian law permits marriage from 18 years. Old Testament laws allowed marriage for girls from 12 years. Bride Groom

Kallah Chassan

Jewish marriage is a ‘public ceremony’ attended by family and friends. A minyan must be present for the blessings.

The role of the Rabbi is to ensure that the ceremony is performed correctly and that the couple are allowed to marry.

is to avoid being married while menstruating, so that consumation can take place.

is to take a ‘mikvah’ ritual bath days prior to her wedding day.

On Shabbat she is showered with blessings by friends.

to fast on the day in preparation for marriage.

On Shabbat before the wedding, the groom is called to the reading of the Torah.

People throw nuts, raisins or sweets on him as a symbol of a sweet life. This ceremony is called Arfruf.

He fasts as marriage is a solemn as well as joyful occasion.

Wears a kippah (yarmaluke) & Kittel – The Wedding Garment

The kiddushin is composed of two distinct ceremonies: the (erusin) and nisuin (nuptials).

‘Kiddushin the Hebrew term for marriage means ‘sanctification’ related to the word ‘kadosh’ (holy)

Marriage is the ideal human state

God’s design that there are male and female

One woman is set apart for one man in faithfulness, loyalty and mutual respect – reflects the covenant of God and his people.

Emotional and spiritual fulfilment and sexual expression

Reunification of a ‘sundered’ soul

Ties and obligations of marriage sanctify God

To marry and have children is the first command of the Torah

The Chassan & Kallah are separated (for up to a week)

People visit them to wish them a Mazel Tov and blessings on building a true Jewish home.

Reading of the T’naim or marriage conditions to the Chassan, his parents and the Kallah’s parents. The document on which the T,naim are written is called a Ketubah. This is an ancient Jewish practice.

The mother’s break a plate to signify the strength required of a marriage.

The Betrothal ceremony has been combined in modern times with the second service Nisuin. Traditionally the two parts of the ceremony were separated by as long as a year. It is during the Erusin ceremony that the Kallah (bride) and Chatan (groom) are formally and publicly betrothed to one another.

The pre-ceremony ritual is the veiling of the Kallah (Bride).

The Chatan (Groom) lowers the veil over the Kallah's face.

It also recalls the biblical story of Rachel and Jacob. Rachels father Laben substituted his elder daughter Leah, for Rachel. The Chatan lowers the veil over the Kallah to be sure not to make the same mistake Jacob did.

By "dressing" his Kallah with a veil, the Chatan is assured that she is the one he has chosen, and thereby sets her apart from all others.

.. The bride, is escorted by her parents (or both mothers or by her father), and joins the bridegroom who is already under the Chupah.

The Shofar is blown to commence the ceremony. The groom is escorted to the Chupah by his parents. The Maid of Honour follows next in the procession

The escorts carry candles, since Jewish custom associates light with joy. They stand facing the rabbi / official conducting the ceremony.

Forming a square, the fathers of the couple stand on the groom’s left and the mothers on the bride’s right.

The Bride circles her beloved seven times, taken from Jeremiah 31:22b, "a woman shall compass (revolve around, surround) a man."

Seven times is significant because of its scriptural reference of perfection and completion;

The reference in Hosea 2:19-21 of God’s seven-fold betrothal to His people, Israel;

the reference in Revelation 4:5 to the seven Spirits of God;

and as a reflection of the Bride’s desire to be as the seven prophetesses of Israel: Sarah, Miriam, Deborah, Hannah, Abigail, Hilda, & Esther.

The position of the bride on the right side of the groom is based on an interpretation of Psalm 45:10 "the queen stands on your right hand in fine gold of ophir". In Jewish tradition the bride is a queen, and the groom a king.

Outside

Using poles

Simple prayer shawlSynagogue

A Jewish wedding always takes place under a …

The bridal canopy is a multifaceted symbol: it is a home, a garment, a bed covering, and a reminder of the tent of our Patriarchs. It is open on all sides to recall the tent of Abraham, who had doors on all sides of his dwelling to welcome guests.

This is symbolic of the marriage coming under the Holy covering of God.  The covering represents protection, mercy, and grace.

A blessing over a cup of wine is said, followed by a second blessing that reminds us of the holiness of sexuality as well as the integrity of the bonds of marriage. Both the kallah and chatan drink from the same cup of wine, accepting life's joys, as well as responsibilities. 

 

 He who is supremely mighty, He who is supremely blessedHe who is supremely sublime

May He bless the Groom and the Bride.

Groom lifts the veil to take a peek. This is  to verify that she is his wife and not another, avoiding the mistake that Jacob made with Leah.

The sermon or charge should be a personal message to the bride and groom by the Rabbi with challenges and commitments to the Holy One.

(Groom / Bride)______________, will you have (Bride / Groom)__________ to be your wife / husband? Will you love her, honour her / him, comfort and keep her / him, and forsaking all others remain true to her / him as long as you both shall live?

"I will."

 I, ___________ (name)

take thee ___________, (partner’s name)

To be my wedded wife / husband, And I do promise and covenant, Before God and these witnesses, To be thy loving and faithful husband / wife, In plenty and in want, In joy and in sorrow, In sickness and in health, As long as you both shall live.  

Groom / Bride repeat the vows after the celebrant.

This is the crucial moment as the groom, in Orthodox Judaism, says the words,

“Behold, thou art consecrated unto me by this ring, according to the Law of Moses and of Israel.”

In Orthodox Judaism the groom does not receive a ring.

Conservative congregations follow the Orthodox form, but it is usual for the bride to give the groom a ring.

In Reform Judaism both the bride and groom recite the English words, “With this ring I thee wed.”

The words in both formulas constitute the vows of Jewish marriage.

The betrothal section closes with blessings recited over a second cup of wine.

In Orthodox weddings the wine glass is then wrapped in a cloth, and crushed under foot to symbolise the hardship of the Jewish people and the hardships that will inevitably befall the couple.

Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage

In Orthodox Judaism, the Ketubah is the marriage contract. It is read in Aramaic and an English summary is often provided.

The ketubah states the practical commitment of the husband to provide for his wife and assuring her of financial protection in the event of divorce or his death.

The Ketubah is prepared and signed by witnesses. In the presence of 2 witnesses, the groom accepts the Ketubah by taking hold of a handkerchief given to him by the rabbi.

In some Orthodox communities, the groom reads and agrees to the ketubah before the ceremony begins.

In Conservative Judaism, both bride and groom often sign a simple marriage certificate, a practice that is followed in all reform congregations.

The groom makes the following declarations to the bride;"Be my wife according to the law of Moses and Israel and the Messiah Yeshua. I will, love, honor, and cherish you as Messiah loved the holy congregation. I will provide for you as is proper for a husband to do according to the teachings of the word of God."

The Bride has accepted his words and dedicated herself to him, saying;

"I will respect, honor, and cherish you in the same manner as the holy congregation is to love the Messiah."

The 2nd and ‘Nuptial’ stage of the Jewish marriage rite.

Nisuin begins with the recitation of the seven blessings, praising God for the creation of all things, of Man, and of man and woman in His image. Not only the story of creation, but also the history of Israel and its future hopes are echoed.

Traditionally they are also recited at the end of a celebratory meal held in a different home for each of the seven nights following the wedding.

1. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory.

2. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man.

3. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and  provided for the perpetuation of his kind.  Blessed are You, Lord, the creator of man.

4. Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children.

5. Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy.

6. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship.  May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song.  Blessed are You, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together.

7. Blessed are You, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator of the fruit of the vine.

 Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe who creates the fruit of the vine, the symbol of joy. Blessed are thou, O Lord, who has hallowed thy people Israel by the blessing of the marriage canopy, the Chuppah and the sacred covenant of marriage.

After a man proposed marriage to a woman, in ancient Jewish culture, he poured a cup of wine and drank from it.  If she took it and drank also that signified her acceptance and she became his betrothed.

The Lord bless you, and keep you; The Lord make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift us His countenance on you, And give you peace. Numbers 6:24-26

Ladies and Gentlemen, as witness to the covenant of marriage according to the Law of Moses and the Law of the Messiah of Israel, I would like to pronounce to you Mr. and Mrs. (Groom)____________________ , husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

A Traditional end to a Jewish wedding serves as a reminder of the fragility of life, even during the most joyous of celebrations. Life is fragile. We break this glass as a symbol of our past. In the theater that say go break a leg. In a Jewish wedding we break a glass. Forgiveness is an end to a shattered past.

As the Groom smashes the glass everyone will shout Mazel Tov! Which means Good Fortune, may your lives here on out not be shattered, but full of fortune and joy.

Bride and Groom Best Man and Maid of

HonorGroomsmen and

BridesmaidsGroomsmen escorts the

Bride's Mother (Father follows behind)

Groomsmen escorts the Groom's Mother (Father follows behind)

Groomsmen escorts the Grandmothers

Attendants ‘guarding’ the private room.

A brief period of seclusion for the bride and groom to absorb the events of the ceremony where they spend their first moments alone together as husband and wife.

Traditionally, Yichud was the time when the marriage was consumated, but in modern Judaism it is a period of bonding, a time of privacy and peace before the public celebration begins. They will also break their fast before returning to the community to celebrate.

One of the most distinctive and enjoyable aspects of the traditional Jewish wedding is the dancing and mitzvah (commandment) to make the kallah and chatan happy.

The meal begins with reciting the blessing over the wedding Challah, the braided loaf of egg rich bread.

Blessed are You Adonai, our God, ruler of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth.

The voice of joythe voice of gladnessthe voice of the bridegroom,the voice of the bride,and the voice that praises God. 

At the end of the Seudat Mitzvah (festive meal), "Birkat HaMazon" (Grace After Meals) is recited, and the Sheva Berachot (seven blessings) recited under the Chupah are once again repeated.

It is a Jewish ‘mitzvot’ to ensure the happiness of the Kallah and Chassan on their wedding night.

Traditional bridal dance

Traditional Dancing

The Chair Dance is a favourite at Jewish weddings.

All Male dance at an Orthodox marriage.

At traditional Orthodox celebrations men and women dance separated by a "Mechitzah" (divider) for reasons of "Tzniut" (modesty). This is one of the strong virtues binding a husband and wife, enhancing each other's uniqueness.

The Cake

Speeches to honour the Kallah, Chassan and their families and to support the marriage.

Jewish custom dictates that the couple begin their new life together in their community. For seven consecutive evenings following the wedding, it is customary that friends or relatives host festive meals in their honor. The act of feasting recalls the "seven-day celebration" after the marriage of Jacob to Leah, while spending their days in prayer, learning Torah and performing mitzvos in order to give the "new house in Israel" a solid foundation in G-d's ways of holiness.

Kallah

Home

Kosher laws

Raise children

Jewish traditions

Chassan

Study the Torah

Provide & protect his family

Together

•Start a family

•Bring up children In the faith

•Ensure their lifestyle is within Jewish law and culture

Arfruf – Jeremiah 33 :10 – 11. It has a theme of interwoven joy and sorrow as it calls to mind the restoration, redemption, and return of the Israelite people after the exile.

The Torah provides very little guidance with regard to the procedures of a marriage.

The rituals and symbols used in the marriage rite are founded on the Hebrew Scriptures.

Veil covering face - Genesis 24:64-65 Genesis 2464 Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel 65 and asked the servant, "Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?" "He is my master," the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

Lifting the veil - Genesis 29:21-25

Genesis 2921 Then Jacob said to Laban, "Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her." 22 So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. 23 But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. 24 And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant. 25 When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, "What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?"

Escorts carrying candles - Esther 8:16

For the Jews it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor.

Kallah bought to the Chassan in the Chuppah - Genesis 2:22

But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said,

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. 25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Berakhot - Seven Blessings

Mishnah Kiddushin 1:1 specified that a woman is acquired in three ways: through money, a contract, and sexual intercourse

As part of the wedding ceremony the husband gives the wife a ketubah, because of the contractual requirement explained in the Mishnah.

A section of the Mishnah is devoted to the subject of divorce. It develops the basic procedure laid down in Deuteronomy 24. This rests on a man handing his wife a bill of divorce, known as a get.

Sacred texts are significant is providing a basis for the ethical teachings about marriage, but, whilst the Talmud explains the form of the marriage rite, the Torah gives little guidance regarding the procedures for marrying.

The Hebrew Scriptures are significant in regard to the ritual practices and symbols that comprise a Jewish wedding. These provide a ‘history’ (Jacob and Leah) of the people and marriage amongst the Jews dating back to Adam and Eve. The scriptures have little to say about the ethical beliefs associated with marriage as in Judaism, marriage is seen as a contractual covenant between the woman and the man.

Symbols play a significant part in making present key beliefs of Judaism in the marriage rite. The chuppah and blessings over wine fulfil a mitzvah (marriage ideal state). Jews believe that they communicate with God and grow in their relationship with Him by carrying out the mitzvot. The ketubah reinforces the belief that marriage is a holy covenant. The seven blessing praise God for the creation of all things. The smashing of the wine glass further links the couple to the history of Israel.

Structure to adult life

Specified roles for woman and man

Part of the history and tradition of Judaism. Judaism itself is founded on marriage.

Married people share in a covenant that mirrors the one between God and his people.

A way of holiness – leading to eternal life.

Marriage ensures the continuation of the Jewish people and their faith.

Marriage reunifies the sundered soul. That is masculinity and femininity are complimentary halves of the whole human soul.

Marriage emphasises the great joys (marriage) and great suffering (divorce) that is an integral part of all life.

Marriage elevates the mundane to the supernatural

Married love embodies God’s creation, revelation, and redemption in the here and now.

No Grounds needed’.

The Ketubah is designed to protect the interests of the woman (and children)

‘Bet Din’ – jewish council of judges that decide a ‘get’

Divorce is an undesirable, but common reality of human relationships.

No vow ‘to death us do part’ in Jewish marriage rites

Jewish divorce rites come from the Book of Deuteronomy.

Marriage is a sacred union not just a contract. The quality of marriage should be considered.

Every attempt to save a marriage should be made.

Orthodox – only a man can obtain a get.Conservative – The Bet Din can grant either

person a ‘get’.Reform – divorce is a civil, not religious

procedure.

The husband (Orth) or either partner (Cons) can apply to a Bet Din for a divorce.

Attend the Bet Din on a specified date

Get is written by scribe

Husband hands to wife

Wife walks with ‘get’.

Signed by scribe and witnesses

Bet Din cut the document.

Both issued with a release from their marriage.

Women must wait 90 days to remarry. Men can do so immediately