Think Big

02.07.13 VOL. XLIV, NO. 13

The Indy is wishing for the girls, boys, and weather of summer.Cover Design by ANNA PAPP

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CONTENTSFORUM

3 Beyoncé & the Bigot

NEWS4 I Know What You Did Last

Summer6 Se7en Speakers

ARTS7 Downton Girls8 King Louis

SPORTS9 It Actually Wasn't About the

Bike10 Harvard Hopes for Hoops11 The 47th: not 4 the 49ers

Angela Song '14Christine Wolfe '14Sayantan Deb '14Miranda Shugars '14

Whitney Gao '16 Curtis Lahaie '15 Sean Frazzette '16Alex Chen '16Milly Wang '16Kalyn Saulsberry '14Sarah Rosenthal '15Travis Hallett '14

Anna Papp '16John McCallum '16Maria Barragan-Santana '14Tarik Moon '15

Albert Murzakhanov '16

Michael Altman '14Meghan Brooks '14 Whitney Lee '14

Claire Atwood '16Xanni Brown '14Clare Duncan '14 Gary Gerbrandt '14 Travis Hallett '14 Yuqi Hou '15Cindy Hsu '14 Chloe Li '16Orlea Miller '16Albert Murzhakanov '16 Carlos Schmidt '15 Frank Tamberino '16

As Harvard College's weekly undergraduate newsmagazine, the Harvard Independent provides in-depth, critical coverage of issues and events of interest to the Harvard College community. The Independent has no political affiliation, instead offering diverse commentary on news, arts, sports, and student life.

For publication information and general inquiries, contact President Angela Song ([email protected]) or Managing Editor Sayantan Deb ([email protected]). Letters to the Editor and comments regarding the content of the publication should be addressed to Editor-in-Chief Christine Wolfe ([email protected]).

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The Harvard Independent is published weekly during the academic year, except during vacations, by The Harvard Independent, Inc., Student Organization Center at Hilles, Box 201, 59 Shepard Street, Cambridge, MA 02138.

Copyright © 2013 by The Harvard Independent. All rights reserved.

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harvardindependent.com 3The Harvard Independent • 2.07.13

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On the back edge of the green-ticketed area at President Obama’s second inauguration, an anti-

abortion protester climbed an evergreen tree and refused to come down. For five hours he screamed “What about the babies?”; “Obama is the anti-Christ”; and “Repent” among other phrases of roughly equal sentiment. He screamed for three and a half hours before the ceremony, through the children’s choirs and Myrlie Evers-Williams’ beautiful invocation, over the swearing-ins and the Inaugural Address — he screamed until the SWAT team came for him after the crowds had cleared. He did stop for Beyoncé’s lip-sync of the national anthem (as one of the thousand or so people in his immediate vicinity that morning, I was at least grateful for that). I was surrounded by people who had traveled from across the country to witness this small, uplifting piece of American history unfold. The old man in the tree — later identified as preacher Rives Miller Grogan — did his damndest to ruin the Inauguration. Unfortunately, in the eyes of many ticket holders, he succeeded.

I won’t say that Grogan ruined my morning completely — as a Comparative Religion concentrator who studies politics and faith, I found him mildly academically interesting, and as a Democrat and Obama supporter, I was glad to be there regardless. He did not, as the Internet memes say, “destroy my faith in humanity.” Needless to say, he didn’t restore it either. Rather, the combination of his obnoxious protest and the crowd’s response to him left my view of humanity exactly as it was before the Inauguration. This upset me.

I am not a religious person, despite what my concentration might suggest. I am instead embarrassingly patriotic, to the point that I invariably tear up when I hear 1984’s truly terrible “God Bless the USA” (YouTube Beyoncé’s version). Accordingly,

the day after the President swept the electoral college, my roommate and I booked a flight to Washington D.C. This was to be my pilgrimage — a day spent amongst fellow Democrats celebrating the President we believe in and the country we love. I envisioned old ladies dabbing their eyes during the benediction, conversations with friendly strangers in line, bright-eyed little kids with nylon hand-held flags, and a general sense of spontaneous community. These scenes did in fact play out much as I imagined. On the whole, spectators were pleasant with one another. There were plenty of waving flags and Obama souvenirs, and even the post-ceremony human crush at the Metro doors was fairly calm. I’ve never seen a cheerier line than at the security checkpoint to the National Mall between 5:30 and 6:30 in the morning. Inauguration-goers seemed determined to match their spirits to the tenor expected of the day; this was the side of humanity I had hoped to see.

However, in the green-ticketed area, the mood was somewhat different. Moments after Grogan began shouting, conversations about home states quieted and campaign stories petered out. The entire crowd turned to stare at him in his tree, and then began to jeer:

“Shake the tree!” “I hope the branch breaks!”“Get down, freak!” “Jump!”Police officers rushed the scene to loud

cheers, but as they set up ladders against the tree and sent an officer up to coax him down, Grogan climbed higher and higher until he was clinging to a thin trunk at the top of the tree. It swayed in the wind as the crowd gasped, laughed, and pulled out their video cameras to capture the drama of a seemingly inevitable fall. Sure he was going to fall, I grew more nauseated as the minutes passed until I couldn’t look back

at him anymore. The crowd nauseated me still more. While I, too, was irritated by the protester, I was afraid for him. The spontaneous community that I had hoped for did emerge, but its solidarity was created by anger rather than hope. In fact, a mob mentality had formed. It was peaceful in action — no one attempted to cross the police barrier to actually shake the tree — but furious nonetheless. It was a strange feeling, being part of a herd, succumbing to a collective sweep of negative emotion while trying to remain above it. I had come to the Inauguration hoping to be caught in a sweep of collective joy, hoping that my pilgrimage to the capital would grant me a sense of the good in my fellow Americans. Instead, I found the goodness in us alongside the bad, equally balanced, the scale ready to tip to either side due to external factors as small as a Kerry Washington sighting or a crazy old man in a tree. We seem to be, as a collective, morally neutral. I suppose it’s up to individuals to ensure that there is enough goodness in the world for the scales to remain tipped in its favor.

Meghan Brooks ’14 (meghanbrooks@college) is happy to report that Rives Miller Grogan has been banned from Washington D.C. indefinitely. She wishes exile were used there a little more often.

The Old Man & the TreeDon’t let H PE get your hopes up.

By MEGHAN BROOKSI am instead embarrassingly patriotic, to the point that I invariably tear up when I hear 1984’s truly terrible “God Bless the USA” (YouTube Beyoncé’s version).

4 harvardindependent.com 2.07.13 • The Harvard Independent

News

I know what you

did last summer.

While most deadlines have already passed, leaving our suited-up

classmates to gallavant about from Bain interview to Bain interview, there are still a few more weeks to stake out

your place on the globe this summer. Here are some helpful tips and ideas

from our esteemed upperclassmen staff writers.

—The Indy Staff

Last summer,

I studied abroad in Paris with Harvard Summer School. Despite the course’s title, “Paris and its Revolutions,” and the fact that the closest my academic life comes to France is using le pipette, it was a very rewarding experience. Granted, speaking French beforehand was an advantage we all shared, though the more adventurous might enjoy the linguistic challenge.

The choice of location is much less important than the choice of whether to drop everything and travel. The answer to this question, of course, is always yes. Take it from someone who hasn’t done it but knows people who have – don’t waste every summer doing research or working. Explore a new country, try new food, and meet amazing friends who you would never have met otherwise. Not only will it be good for your mental health, but those who look at your resume will know there’s more to you than books and equations, even if it takes such a trip to realize it yourself.

-Travis Hallett

My summer

was a whirlwind of dance parties, birthday parties, wedding parties, and breaking-of-the-fast-during-Ramadan parties — because when you study abroad, you get to do these sorts of things. The two months I spent in Jordan not only unceremoniously pushed me into intense language-learning mode but also let me enter the lives of people whose culture I had only read about in books. The information you can learn while sitting in Sever Hall is nothing compared to the opportunity to live somewhere else for a summer, somewhere you may never have thought you would travel. Want to work in healthcare? Try out an NGO in Vietnam, Chile, or Namibia. Language study? Travel to the country where the language is spoken, not to some language school on the East Coast. Investment banking? Don’t just sit in an office in New York; go to the office in Beijing or Casablanca. There is nothing so valuable as actually living with the people you hear about on the news or research for that Gov paper, so spend a summer studying, working, and living abroad.

- Clare Duncan

What did I do last summer?

Better question: What didn’t I do last summer? In June, I left for Tel Aviv, stopping briefly along the way for two weeks in the south of France and Zurich, Switzerland. Once in Tel Aviv, I enrolled at Tel Aviv University, where I participated in an intensive Arabic language program that taught me how to read and write in Arabic as well as gain basic conversational skills in South Levantine Arabic. My experience at TAU was great – the dorm I stayed in was newly renovated and I shared a flat with three other girls. Each

room had a balcony, a cable TV (with English channels!), wireless Internet, and state of the art air-conditioning.

I had the opportunity to travel to the south of Israel and learn more about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict – having now been to both sides of the separation wall. While that part of my stay was rather sobering, I appreciate the opportunity I had to be able to get a better view of what is going on. The best part about this whole trip is that Harvard paid for it! Tuition was really cheap; if I had to ballpark it, it was around $1500 for five weeks of classes plus room & board. Ridiculous.

In August, I left France for London,


indyNews

Over the summer, I traveled to Greece to study abroad through the Harvard program. This

experience marked my first time in Europe, which I thought was a glamorous way to spend the first summer of my twenties. I spent five fantastic weeks eating delicious gyros and at least half of my weight in feta cheese. My afternoons consisted of reading Homeric poetry and having a swim in the Mediterranean Sea. In addition to picking up a little Greek and learning more about Greek culture, one of the best parts of my study abroad experience was shutting off my cell phone and being able to fully immerse myself in the present without being able to check my email, send a text, or update my Facebook profile picture at any given time. At first the thought of being disconnected from my social network seemed disconcerting, but, surprisingly, it was liberating and I felt that I could be fully present in my face-to-face interactions. Being free from my phone, I had time to keep a travel journal to process and keep track of the wonderful memories I was making. My advice for travelling: don’t get a phone plan and take advantage of the exciting adventures awaiting you far from the familiar.

- Kalyn Saulsberry

This past summer I managed

to nab a great job after being repeatedly rejected by virtually everything I had applied for. It wasn’t easy, and isn’t necessarily a good template to follow, but with a bit of luck — and a degree of intra-Harvardian networking — it proved that all hope is not always lost when it comes to an often-frightening, ominous summer of uncertainty.

After spring break, I came back to Boston an unemployable and desperate shell who had done badly on a paper and faced a menacing midterm. For whatever reason, the sun decided to shine cruelly on the valley of my discontent, and I happened upon a girl who was looking for people with PBHA experience to work over the summer at SUP (Summer Urban Program) after someone had dropped out and left his/her position unfilled. While I had mentally relegated myself to going home and trying to find some unpaid internship, I wound up interviewing for and soon being offered a position I didn’t even know existed.

Take advantage of every opportunity you can think of, but make sure to keep your eyes open. When things go wrong and you don’t know what to do, there just might be something waiting behind the next door. And, if you’re interested in paid public service positions for the summer, be sure to visit http://pbha.org/ and check out their pages on the Summer Urban Program. It’s an excellent opportunity, whether you’re planning for it or not.

- Gary Gerbrandt

In early January of last year, I knew that I wanted two things out of the summer of 2012; (1) a summer school class that would allow me to complete the necessary credits for a Comparative Literature secondary, and (2) an internship in publishing. I applied to be a proctor at Harvard Summer School for free housing, free meals, and a free class, which would allow me to meet both of my summer goals very cheaply. I got the job. I then sent my résumé out to five different Boston-area publishers and later accepted a part-time offer at an independent publishing house in Downtown Crossing. In other words, my plans worked out perfectly for the first time ever. I was flabbergasted. I then proceeded to spend a fairly relaxing summer hanging out with some pretty cool (if success-obsessed) fifteen-year-olds, taking a great literature and religion course two mornings a week, and learning the ins and outs of the independent publishing market in a welcoming

company. Interestingly, after about a month into the summer I realized that even though I was enjoying myself and learning a lot, my original plan was no longer what I wanted. Although the campus is beautiful, Harvard in the summer is largely empty of the people who define our experience here, and full of people alien to it. It›s lonely. Having lived just outside of Boston for eight years I wanted to be somewhere else, and I had planned on living here forever. Also, even though I truly appreciated my time in the publishing house, I found that the industry doesn›t engage my academic interests in the ways I thought it would. Finally, this fall I dropped my Comparative Literature secondary. Despite my complete reversal of goals and interests, I do not regret last summer at all. Sometimes it›s just as useful to learn what you don›t want to do with your life as it is to continue down the path you’re already on.

- Meghan Brooks

Last summer, I had the opportunity to be a part of the Program

for Research in Science and Engineering (PRISE). Through the program, we were housed in Winthrop, which wasn’t necessarily the best place to live, but getting free accommodation in Cambridge and having the opportunity to do some exciting work in lab is definitely a worth it. The highlight of the summer, however, was the time spent outside of lab. PRISE organized great trips into Boston, which was a great way to explore the city across the river and get out of the Harvard Bubble. I also used the summer to experience what Cambridge had to offer – sounds weird right? But truth is, we barely get to explore Cambridge beyond Noch’s and Felipe’s during the year. Over the summer, I discovered Harvard Square’s hidden gem – Club Passim. It boasts of some great live performers and reasonable prices. Furthermore, you can also enjoy the food from Veggie Planet while you enjoy the performance. Take this summer to enjoy those little things that you skip during the year!

- Sayantan Deb

where I enrolled at the London School of Economics. The best part of being in London was the fact that I was there during the Olympics! Though England was considerably more expensive than Israel or even France (but not Switzerland), I really had a good time there; my time in London consisted mainly of being a totally shameless tourist, which was ultimately a lot of fun. Then, at the end of August, I “crossed the pond” to return home to what is undoubtedly my favorite country in the world.

- Whitney Lee


News

Six professors and — for the first time — an undergraduate student had the opportunity of presenting one big thought in their fields of expertise.

The night’s first speaker, Joseph K. Blitzstein, professor of Statistics, was greeted with cheerful uproar and posters from excited former students of his popular class, Stat 110. Dr. Blitzstein discussed the “Soul of Statistics,” stating all probability is conditional. He used comedic and factual approaches to underscore the importance of statistical components such as algorithms and the property of regression toward the mean.

“This magic potion is why mammals suck,” announced assistant professor of Human Evolutionary Biology, Dr. Katie Hinde. This magic potion — milk — has “everything you need exactly when you need it,” explained Dr. Hinde, urging the government to put forth public policy

promoting research in this significant yet highly under-investigated field. Furthermore, Dr. Hinde noted that researchers found the presence of stem cells in breast milk, which would allow scientists to acquire stem cells in a routine, noninvasive procedure. According to Breastfeeding Online, milk contains roughly sixty healthy components, thirty of which have only been found in human milk. Dr. Hinde concluded her lecture with high hopes for her research: “Milk has the potential to improve the lives of people.”

Doris Sommer, the Ira Jewell William Professor of Romance Language and Literatures and Professor of African and African American Studies, emphasized culture and its significance. “Culture changes the world,” said Dr. Sommer, using an example set by Antanas Mockus. Mockus became mayor of Bogotá, Colombia in 1995, and he set out to tackle the

prevalent problem of traffic deaths by replacing corrupt police officers with mime artists. This change reduced the deaths due to traffic by more than fifty percent. From Mockus’ successful actions we learn that “without pleasure, there is no lasting cultural or political change.”

In her riveting discussion titled “Talking To Dead People,” Professor of Classics and of History Emma Dench highlighted the importance of learning about Rome. The Romans are “very, very dead people”; however, she argued that it is crucial that we study their connections to us to understand our own cultural development. The Romans had many traditions that were similar to our own, and by learning about their politics and culture, we can map out a somewhat imaginable trajectory of our future.

Roberto M. Unger, Professor of Law, attempted to convince the audience the value of time to human beings. In that light, he urged us to pass the work along to the machines we have created. Since machines perform actions that can be repeated, humans should only focus on those that cannot. By preserving time, we can “learn that which we have not learned how to repeat,” Dr. Unger asserted. This truly chilling talk recapped how valuable a human life is and that focusing on time and actions we cannot repeat would grant our desire “to die once.”

The only undergraduate student speaker, Annemarie E. Ryu ’13, discovered the importance of jackfruit and promoted its sale in a global market. Because of her efforts, a Jackfruit Institute will be put forth in India. “I have become a social entrepreneur, and I’ve learned to question the status quo,” proclaimed Ryu. She ended her talk encouraging others to act now instead of later.

Walter C. Klein Professor of Chinese History, Michael Puett, the final speaker of the night, left the crowd with both a hopeful and threatening warning. Strongly pessimistic of his generation’s actions, Dr. Puett argued that his generation left the current one “with a very foolishly complacent way of thinking about the world.” Although people of his time felt that the basic problems of the world had been solved, Puett dismisses this notion as false in every way. “Break out of that worldview. The world we’ve left you with, bad as it is, can still be saved,” Dr. Puett remarked, urging the young members of the audience to take action and question what they have been taught.

These innovative speakers presented their ideas with hopes of inspiring the young and animated audience in front of them. It is now left up to us to question the world in which we live and act upon improving it.

Albert Murzakhanov ’16 (amurzakhanov@college) is thankful for the additional two minutes Drew Faust’s absence left the speakers.

Twelve minutes, one big idea: go! On the evening of Thursday, January 31, 2013, the fourth annual Harvard Thinks Big drew in a large and excited crowd at Sanders Theatre.

Seven Wonders of the Crimson WorldSpeakers present innovative ideas at Harvard Thinks Big 4.By ALBERT MURZAKHANOV


It’s the best British export since America. Boasting Austenian romance, criminal subversion, wartime loss, and Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey takes the

proverbial teacake. PBS’s acclaimed costume drama is one of the most talked about television series of the last three years (challenged only by Showtime’s Homeland). Even on the most American of days — Superbowl Sunday — the program garnered 7.9 million viewers to watch the Crawley family wither in agony at the loss of Lady Sybil and try to continue on in the efforts to save Downton from financial ruin. Anglophilia has clearly gotten ahold of us, and for the better.

The entire show lavishes us with an unparalleled extravagancy of character and setting. The elaborate sets, flawless cinematography, and historically accurate detail set us up for a fully immersive fictional experience. The characters’ lives — both upstairs and downstairs — are engulfing; we can’t help but submit to the alien social intricacies of that not-so-far away world. The proximity of their time to ours is one of the reasons Downton is such a fascinating show: most viewers — American viewers, at least — are so culturally removed from the aristocratic life of the Crawleys that we forget it was less than one hundred years ago that Lordship and Ladyship was a perfectly common form of livelihood. Of course, most of one’s time was absorbed in what most people would call “counting one’s money,” leading the unshakeable Dowager Countess (portrayed by award-winning Maggie Smith) to wonder with utter confusion: “What is a week-end?” Clearly, the Crawley girls are not so absorbed in problem sets as their modern counterparts. Of course, half of the program focuses on the lives of the servants, and, not surprisingly, their concerns haven’t changed much over the last few thousand years.

But don’t be fooled. The concerns of that house — even of the residents of canopy-draped bedchambers — are not so different than ours, particularly in the changing social worlds that they as 20th century Brits and we as 21st century Americans inhabit. As the golden age of the aristocrats is winding down and populist insurgencies are rising up throughout Europe, Lord Grantham and his family come to the rather startling realization that their lives cannot continue on as they have been living it for centuries. Tom Branson, the (adorable) activist chauffer and the husband of Lady Sybil epitomizes this march towards popular rule and the destabilization of the British Empire. Could this not bear certain similarities to America’s current sociopolitical climate, in which it is simply not enough to woo elderly, white America to win the presidency? Big changes happen fast, with gay marriage, universal healthcare, and small-scale versions of the DREAM Act sweeping the nation.

These changes are for “the people,” often working to promote upward mobility amongst the lower classes. It is just this kind of populist action that is changing the way the Crawleys and their servants experience the world in the 1920s.

While it’s true that Downton’s social commentary is thought provoking, the show’s popularity undoubtedly rests on the laurels of its romances. With myriad social and historical barriers to the many couples’ peaceful unions, we are kept speculating on when, where, and how, even if the who is quite obvious (and it usually is). In this element of its narrative success, Downton gives a lesson to the modern world of love and courtship: there must be social etiquette if romance is to remain exciting. Do the “romances” of HBO’s Girls keep us fretfully awaiting the lovers’ fates? Do Harvard students draw tense inward breath and flush upon the thought of encountering their beloved at a party? Perhaps, but the flushing rarely anticipates engaging in witty conversation and implicit innuendos. The thought of romance as it exists in Downton does not possess us as modern young adults for what some might think entirely untrue: it is too easy for us to secure a romantic partner. There are no rules. We socialize daily with people of our admired gender with very few limits. For most of us, it’s not a scandal to engage someone of a different class in an intimate manner. We are unlikely to marry most of the people we meet because there exists very little pressure to marry (relative to the extreme necessity at Downton or in Austen’s works). If a Harvard student fails to marry someone in the next few years, it’s unlikely their parents plan to ship them abroad to look for a partner with lower standards (though one never knows). In essence, there is none of the desperation that gives love such power. Even the non-controversial but immensely romantic pairing of Anna and Bates remains thrilling: imagine how much more exciting a relationship would be if one had to work one’s way through courtship, marriage, and criminally insane ex-wives before its consummation! A climax without buildup is hardly ever satisfying.

Britain has already seen the entire third season of Downton Abbey; America has a few more weeks to whet its appetite for Tom, Carson, and the real star of the show, the Dowager Countess. So make sure to take in the Dowager’s snippets of wisdom before you come back to the modern world. She even has a piece of advice for those viewers lamenting the lack of Downtonesque romance in their lives: “Don’t be defeatist, dear. It’s very middle class.”

Christine Wolfe ’14 (crwolfe@college) and her blockmates are currently writing a new television program, Vampire Abbey, a fusion of Downton Abbey and True Blood.

Dear AbbeyMove over, York Minster.By CHRISTINE WOLFE

Contains spoiler alerts for people too busy to keep up with live TV schedules.

“No Englishman would dream of

dying in someone else’s house.”

“We can’t have him assassinated.

I suppose.”

“Wasn’t there a masked ball in Paris when cholera broke out? Half the

guests were dead before they left the ballroom.”

“She’s so slight, a real necklace

would flatten her.”

“I’m a woman, Mary. I can be as

contraryas I choose.”

Downton Abbey:Best Maggie Smith Quotes


Louis CK is the present and the future of comedy. His work, more than hilarious or original, is fearless. His courage is motivated

by no agenda other than his own, which is that of a true artist who has — through years of raw experience — cultivated a distinct and poignant voice. I’ve followed CK fervently since his volcanic rise to success with his show Louie, the Emmy-Award winning comedy on FX. I’ve watched hours upon hours of Louis’ stand-up specials online at 4:00 in the morning, but a few weeks ago, I got to see the real thing. On January 4th, Louie returned to his hometown of Boston and stepped into Symphony Hall to deliver one of the most inspired comedy sets I’ve ever experienced.

Louis brings revolution to everything he touches. In December 2011, he released Live at the Beacon Theater on his website for $5 without any affiliation to HBO, Comedy Central, or any other middleman, cutting out what he would probably call the bullshit of digital rights management and outside broadcasting media. Doing so created a standard for comedians to follow for years to come.

To keep things from getting trite, Louis follows

his idol George Carlin’s lead by throwing all of his material away at the end of each year and starting fresh. In terms of content, Louis challenges the notion that a comedian can’t say whatever the hell he or she wants without gathering significant criticism and outrage.

At Symphony Hall on January 4th, I laughed so excruciatingly hard and had so many epiphanies that I left exhausted, struggling to maintain a clear account of the night without allowing it to become a blur of hilarity. Louis’ success obviously encourages his humor and writing style, as it seems that with time he becomes exponentially funnier, and his comedy becomes even more meaningful. When I saw Louis in Baltimore last year, he had no opening act, asking “Why would you want to sit through fifteen minutes of ‘Meh’?’” But in Boston, Gary Gulman opened for Louis. Strictly an observational comic, Gulman made a hilarious attempt at discussing the fiscal cliff before returning to familiar ground in his discussion of grocery store lines and Greek salad.

As expected, when Louis walked out, my mind exploded, and I spent the next hour trying to return to sanity amidst chaotic laughter. Louis first talked about how he remembers miserably dragging sacks full of laundry past Symphony Hall as a child. In his bitterness he would glance at the majestic building and mutter “Assholes…”. Now that he’s an artist in his own right — well, he might still feel that way.

A beautiful example of Louis’s originality and astonishing ability to describe universally held thoughts with hilarity and precision was his portrait of a guy on a first date. He explained that a guy on a first date has no single personality. He’s just blindly trying out different things to see what his date will like, similar to “a ransom note with the letters cut out of magazines.” As for the girl on a first date, Louis expressed admiration for her courage in

handing her fate for the night over to a guy, getting into his truck, and saying with a nervous shrug, “Alright. Where are we going?”

Perhaps the most memorable bit — which will undoubtedly go down as one of the boldest and most famous of his time — was the “Of course…But maybe” joke. Preceding this joke was an insightful exploration of human nature. Louis wonders just how savage and depraved human beings would be without laws forbidding things like theft and murder. He claims that every person has a light and a dark side of his or her mind, one that is generous, understandable, and socially acceptable and the other that, if revealed, would be condemned as repulsively cruel and thoughtless. Louis could not resist giving the audience a peek of his own dark side through a series of universally accepted opinions beginning with “of course” and their darker counterparts beginning with “but maayyybe…”

On the Daily Show, Louis admitted, “For me, any joke about anything bad is great.” Not even brilliant comedians like Ricky Gervais have been as successful as Louis at achieving his balance between content and tone. There is nothing that Louis cannot say, because his tone informs us that he is merely taking a modern conception of what is appropriate and poking it with a stick. A lot of successful comedians make people laugh and nothing more. Louis makes people laugh at things they never realized were funny and brings together ideas they’ve had but could never quite articulate. This, I would argue, is the ultimate purpose of comedy.

Frank Tamberino (franktamberino@college) thinks you should see Louis C.K., no buts, no maybes.

The Indy reviews Louis C.K.By FRANK TAMBERINO

Louie Louie Louie Louie

Join us on Thursday, February 14th, 8-9:30pmTicknor Lounge

Boylston Hall

All undergrads welcome!Finale’s will be served!


indySportS

Three weeks ago, after years of vehe-ment denial, Olympian and award-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong

finally admitted to having used perfor-mance-enhancing drugs throughout his career with the exception of his come-back tour, which, ironically, was one of the things that raised suspicion with the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA). Arm-strong’s admission — given in an interview with Oprah Winfrey — only confirmed what most in the cycling world, even within the USADA itself, already knew. To the av-erage person, Armstrong’s story was that of David and Goliath with Armstrong play-ing a uni-testicular cancer survivor trying to wage war with the bureaucratic giant of the USADA and the Union Cycliste Inter-nationale (UCI). His story was engaging and managed to enthrall the masses, but ultimately, it was not real. Armstrong’s admission of guilt seems considerably less altruistic when viewed in the light that the USADA had already built a case against him, one with considerable evidence and numerous witnesses who were willing to attest to Armstrong’s doping. In addition to this, he had already been stripped of many of the titles that he had won after pleading ‘no contest’ to a number of charges levied against him earlier this year. Even still, many still see him as a hero — a fallen hero perhaps — but they wonder, “What’s the big deal?”

Here’s the big deal.As it was so aptly put by fellow Olympic

cyclist Nicole Cooke (who won a gold medal in cycling at the 2008 Olympics) in an in-terview with the UK’s The Guardian, “He’s a criminal. He has stolen people’s liveli-hoods. There must be thousands of clean athletes scrabbling around on the bottom end of the employment structure because that’s all that’s possible, and he’s taken away their careers.” These comments are not coming from an amateur or a stranger to the pressures of professional cycling. Cooke is what some might be tempted to call “the Armstrong” of women’s cycling — though saying that really does her an injustice, in a number of ways. As said in

The Guardian, “Cooke, 29, has won every-thing there is to win in her career — the women’s Tour de France twice, the Ital-ian equivalent, the world championship, Olympic gold. She was the first woman to dominate both long-distance tours and day races. While Armstrong is still worth an estimated $100m, Cooke leaves with little more than her pride and a pile of presti-gious jerseys. In the months leading up to last year’s Olympics she wasn’t even paid her wage by her cycling team.” This humble champion was called on to give her take on the prevalence of drug use and other forms of cheating within the sport. Her testimony was brief, but powerful, as she discussed how disgusted she is about the utter lack of ethics that has swept the sport and many other professional sports leagues.

One of the most unfortunate aspects of this situation is the realization that the fallout of Armstrong’s admission really cannot be fully addressed within the world of cycling because the titles won by Arm-strong cannot be redistributed to his run-ners up. The reason behind this is that the next few cyclists in line have all each (most independently of one another) been caught up in their own doping scandals.

The questions that arise from this are, “What now?” and “What is the most appro-priate way to punish cycling’s now-fallen hero?”. The only answer is to turn to the justice system to help sort this out. With-in the justice system, options are plenti-ful. Armstrong could face dozens of suits, both civil and criminal. On the civil side are Armstrong’s former teammates, em-ployees, and associates who came out in the past to denounce Armstrong for hav-ing cheated. The thing about Armstrong is that in the past, he did much more than deny the cheating allegations — no, he came after his accusers with a vengeance. Armstrong is known to have not only sued people in the industry who spoke out against him but also to have ruined them professionally by ‘blackballing’ them.

Then there’s the criminal side of the matter. There he could face suits from his sponsors and companies who awarded

Crucify HimThe fallout of Lance Armstrong’s doping admission.

By WHITNEY LEE

Adam Bergman United States Erythropoietin (EPO)

Lorenzo Bernucci Italy Sibutramine

DjamolidineAbdoujaparov

Uzbekistan Clenbuterol

Lizandro Ajcú Guatemala Erythropoietin (EPO)

Stephen Alfred United States hCG

Rolf Aldag Germany Erythropoietin (EPO)

Uwe Ampler Germany Steroids

Frankie Andreu United States Erythropoietin (EPO)

Mikel Astarloza Spain Erythropoietin (EPO)

Niklas Axelsson Sweden Erythropoietin (EPO)

him prize money, money that was depen-dent on his clean drug test results. As Fox News reported, “The Justice Department will decide this week whether to join a fed-eral whistleblower suit against 41-year-old Armstrong, a federal law enforcement offi-cial told USA Today. That case was initiat-ed by Armstrong’s former teammate Floyd Landis under the False Claims Act. At is-sue is whether Armstrong and others de-frauded the U.S. Postal Service of around $30 million when it sponsored his team.”

The lawsuit alleges that Armstrong defrauded the U.S. government based on his years of denying use of performance-enhancing drugs. The U.S. Postal Service was a longtime sponsor of Armstrong’s racing career. Moreover, the USADA can charge Armstrong with a number of counts of perjury, which for those who neither study the law nor watch crime TV, means ‘lying under oath’. While some of the stat-ues of limitation have run out, some are still prosecutable. This is a very serious charge for which people — even athletes — go to jail. To return to the words of Nicole Cooke, “Of course Lance Armstrong should go to jail. At the moment, his punishment is not in line with the crimes he has com-mitted”. The feedback from fellow cyclers and Armstrong’s contemporaries seems to be overwhelming in agreement with the call for the justice system to crucify him.

Whitney Lee ’14 (whitneylee@college) prefers her professional sports like her men, nice and honest.

Other DOpers


SportS

On the fateful day of March 15, 2012, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Har-vard’s magical 2011-2012 season

came to an abrupt end at the hands of the Vanderbilt Commodores. The game, how-ever, was not without a honorable attempt from the Ivy League champions. Behind a thirteen-point, five-rebound performance from junior forward Kyle Casey, as well as a solid twelve-point game by fellow junior Brandyn Curry, the Crimson outscored Vandy in the second half, before being put away 79-70. Despite the loss, the sea-son marked the first tournament appear-ance for Harvard since 1948. With players like Casey and Curry leading the way in a strong group of returners, this year looked to be one of the best in Crimson history.

But then came August 30, 2012. On that day, Harvard College announced the beginning of an investigation into approxi-mately 125 students. Two of the names in the bunch were Kyle Casey and Brandyn Curry — the co-captains for this year’s basketball squad. Both seniors eventually withdrew from the school, and the Crim-son’s makeup changed as a whole.

A 2-3 start, with losses to average teams (UMass, St. Joseph’s, and Vermont) led many to doubt if the Crimson’s magic that Coach Tommy Amaker had created within the program was simply a one-year adventure, dismantled by collaboration in an Intro to Congress final. But then Har-vard (12-6) began turning around, losing only three more games in the next thirteen matches, including a big win over Cal (13-8). The losses came in close matches at the hands of perennial contenders UConn (15-5), St. Mary’s (19-4), and Memphis (18-3).

With Ivy League play beginning — and Harvard jumping out to a 4-0 conference record — this year’s squad is beginning to look once again like a legitimate tour-nament contender. At this point last sea-

son, Harvard was bouncing around in the AP Rankings among the best twenty-five teams in the country. This year’s team, while younger and more inconsistent, shows flashes of greatness from time to time. The underclassman step up at the big moments, and the remaining experienced veterans contribute both talent and team leadership.

The most notable difference between this squad and last year’s team is the in-crease in playing time for the hybrid guard/forward sophomore Wesley Saunders. Saunders was elevated from a scantily-used freshman to a starter — and possibly the Ivy League’s best player — in only a year. The star of the Crimson leads the team in scoring with about sixteen points a game, while also collecting second–best averages of four rebounds and four assists. Against archrival Yale, the sophomore stud nailed the Bulldogs with fifteen points and eleven assists, paving the way for Harvard’s close victory. His combination of athleticism and high-percentage-scoring makes him a force that did not exist on last year’s squad.

Another dramatic change is the addi-tion of super-freshman Siyani Chambers. The starting point guard has shown incred-ible court vision in his first year, averaging six assists a contest. The lefty also deliv-ers a nice touch from three, shooting 46.3 percent, while averaging around thirteen points per game, second only to Saunders. Chambers revealed himself to be a clutch performer early on in the season against Boston University, scoring seventeen sec-ond-half points, including the game-winner with four seconds left in regulation. While he may be young, the court marshal of this year’s Crimson could be the difference for the team come March.

The final piece of Harvard’s Big Three is junior co-captain Laurent Rivard. The Quebec native is the team’s three point

specialist, knocking down 42.7 percent of his attempts from behind the arc, and bringing about eleven points per game. Rivard offers a mixture of leadership on the court (along with the other co-captain, senior Christian Webster) and experience — a consistent offensive force for Harvard since his freshman season.

These three, along with Christian Webster, create the dynamic four–guard offense that Harvard runs. A small team, the Crimson capitalizes on their athleti-cism, teamwork, and fundamentally sound game to gain wins. At times, the youthful team seems to play down to their com-petition — noted by their overtime game against Dartmouth and double OT thriller against Brown. Nevertheless, while they have failed to beat the UConns and Mem-phises on their schedule, Harvard has shown strong resistance to the blowout and an exceptional ability to play at those teams’ levels.

In the end, this team is still young. Webster is the only senior left on the squad and eleven of the fifteen players are ei-ther freshman or sophomores. Despite this disadvantage, however, the Crimson are showing instances of excellence. With only Ivy League teams left on the schedule, the biggest matchup looks to be Princeton — the only other undefeated team in the con-ference. Currently, Bracketology has Har-vard slotted as a 14-seed, to face Ohio State in the first round. While it is obviously too early to tell something of that magnitude, it seems safe to say Harvard has a high chance at their third ever March Madness appearance.

Sean Frazzette ’16 (sfrazzette@college) is betting his tuition money on Crimson success. They better do well.

The Best is Yet to ComeHarvard Basketball aims to reach second straight March Madness.

By SEAN FRAZZETTE


indySportS

Arriving late to the Super Bowl show-ing in Adams dining hall, one could almost for a moment imagine it to

be packed with football fans. With HUDS serving up pizza and chicken wings, it even smelled like a tailgate (or at least like a tailgate smells during those fleeting mo-ments before it smells entirely of spilled beer). The Baltimore Ravens led the San Francisco 49ers 14 to 3, and the room was packed, though not much louder than a usual crowded dinner.

The first half was something of a grind-it-out affair. The Ravens dominated both possession and scoring, capitalizing on sloppy penalties and costly turnovers by the 49ers. It didn’t take too long to re-alize that the attention of many students had drifted away the game, if they had ever been watching. Still, when Ravens’s wideout Jacoby Jones made tumbling catch on an underthrown deep pass, near-ly the whole room was cheering him back to his feet as he ran for the end zone. The electrifying play put the Ravens up 21-3 near the end of the half and temporarily converted a surprisingly pro-California audience with its sheer athleticism and persistence. Colin Kaepernick fell flat on his face a few plays later, the 49ers kicked a field goal, and both teams headed to the locker rooms.

This was, of course, what the majority of students had been waiting for. Halftime is primetime for ads, which prominently featured the usual cars, beer, and Har-vard professors (Dan Gilbert was very charming in a Prudential spot). However, we were simply waiting for Beyoncé to show up, and she sure did. As she ascend-ed from the stage — backed by fireworks, flashing lights, and what appeared to be a giant version of herself — the room erupt-ed into a smattering of applause followed by respectful silence, or as it’s known

here at Harvard, a wild and unrestrained display of pure emotion. A quick glance around revealed that this was the one time so far when all the faces in the room were directed at the big screen instead of the laptop screens.

After Destiny’s Child had reunited and then been promptly re-banished the teams took the field for the fast-starting second half. Baltimore’s Jones caught the kickoff from nearly the back of his own endzone and decided to run it anyway, but before the announcers could even imply that he should have just taken the touch-back, Jones had sprinted 108 yards in un-der 12, making the 49ers look like statues and giving his Ravens a seemingly–insur-mountable lead.

Shortly thereafter, the power in the stadium cut out, causing a 34-minute delay, which prompted an enthusiastic cry of, “Yes!! Commercials!” from a fel-low onlooker. It also gave San Francisco a chance to regroup. When the lights came back on, the 49ers came out swinging – in a truly remarkable comeback effort, they put up 17 unanswered points in the third quarter and managed to bring the game to within one touchdown. The Ravens settled for a field goal on their next drive, setting the score at 31-23.

Many of the students in the dining hall had left after the halftime show, and more still had trickled out while the sta-dium was dark and the cameras continued to film players stretching from awkward angles. As the clock wound down on the California comeback, there were maybe a couple dozen students in the dining hall, nearly all of whom were clustered around the four tables closest to the screen. Those who had stayed were strung along for the final quarter as the 49ers came as close to a successful comeback as a team can without actually winning.

With 10 minutes left, San Francisco scored a potentially–tying touchdown, but failed to make good on the 2 point conver-sion. Baltimore put up another field goal with just over four minutes left to make the score 34-29. The 49ers marched right back down the field, only to have their drive stall heartbreakingly within five yards of the end zone. After that, Balti-more just had to run out the clock while San Francisco diehards, bandwagoners, and the rest of us rooting for the comeback kids watched in distress.

By 11 p.m., the Super Bowl was over, the Ravens held the Lombardi trophy, and Adams dining hall was empty. Somewhere in New Orleans, Kelly Rowland and Mi-chelle Williams each shed a single tear.

Xanni Brown ’14 (afsbrown@college) is quite sure that next year she’ll be writing a Super Bowl article about the recently-victorious Cincinnati Bengals.

Harvard Thinks SuperA Harvard student’s perspective of the Super Bowl.

By XANNI BROWN

Think Big

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