The Writer as Artist

BRUSH STROKESTO IMPROVE YOUR WRITING

5 Brush Strokes

• Participle• Absolute• Adjective shifted out of order• Appositive• Action verbs

THE PARTICIPLE• PARTICIPLE: an –ing verb tagged on the beginning or end of a sentence

The diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

Now, add a few participles: Hissing, slithering and coiling, the diamond-scaled snakes

attacked their prey.

• participles evoke action• participles make us feel part of the action

PARTICPIAL PHRASES• Participial phrases: participles with any modifiers that complete the image

Hissing their forked tongues and coiling their cold bodies, the diamond-scaled snakes attacked their prey.

• Single participles create quick movement• Expanded phrases add details at a slower, but equally intense pace.

Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved.

-The Old Man and the Sea

(Ernest Hemingway)

• Breathing, stretching, pushing, the runner maintained her lead.

• Hissing, salivating, waiting for just the right moment, the tiger staked out its prey.

You try. Use a participial phrase (some –ing verbs) to describe the picture.

ABSOLUTE

• -a noun combined with an –ing participle (hands shaking, feet trembling)

• Mind racing, hands shaking and feet trembling, the climber wondered how he was ever going to overcome the mountain’s next challenge.

• You try. Use an absolute (noun plus –ing verb) to describe this picture.

Adjectives shifted out of order

• The large, red-eyed, angry bull moose charged the intruder.

• The large bull moose, red-eyed and angry, charged the intruder.

• “And then, suddenly in the dead of night, there came a sound to my ears, clear, resonant and unmistakable.”– The Hound of Baskervilles by Sir Arthur

Conan Doyle

Better than: “And then, suddenly in the dead of night, there came a clear, resonant and unmistakable sound to my ears.”

You Try

Write a sentence to describe the person(s) in the picture above using adjectives shifted out of order.

APPOSITIVE

• Renames a noun• The volcano, a ravenous God of fire, spewed

forth lava and ash across the mountain.• The waterfall, a tilted pitcher, poured the

fresh, pure spray into the creek.

ACTION VERBS

• Eliminate passive voice and reduce BEING verbs

Passive verbs: -require a being verb-weaken images because they freeze the action

EXAMPLES OF PASSIVE VERBS

• The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher.

• The grocery store was robbed by two armed men.

VS Active sentences:• The old, white-whiskered rancher rode the

runaway horse into town.• Two armed men robbed the grocery store.

Replace BEING verbs with ACTION verbs

• The gravel road was on the left side of the barn.

• The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.

• WILL HELP YOU SHOW RATHER THAN TELL

ASSIGNMENT

Find parts of Flavio’s Home that use any or all of the following brushstrokes:

– Participles– Absolutes– Appositives– Adjectives shifted out of order– Action verbs*also, sensory imagery and metaphors or similes

• http://www.nytimes.com/pages/multimedia/

• http://www.london2012.com/