The Wonders of Parenting The Wonders of Parenting

Hong Kong Taoist Association Wun Hong Kong Taoist Association Wun Tsuen School Tsuen School

Parents’ Special Interest ClassParents’ Special Interest Class

99thth October, 2014 October, 2014

ParentingParenting

-The care, love and guidance a -The care, love and guidance a parent gives to a childparent gives to a child

-A constant process of raising, -A constant process of raising, educating, and inspiring a child educating, and inspiring a child

-Being a: -Being a: 1.) Nurturer1.) Nurturer

2.) Teacher2.) Teacher

3.) Motivator3.) Motivator

4.) Role model4.) Role model

-A challenging yet deeply -A challenging yet deeply meaningful adventure meaningful adventure

IntroductionIntroduction

(The Free Dictionary, 2012; Ross, 2012)

Basic Duties and Responsibilities of a Basic Duties and Responsibilities of a ParentParent

-Giving a safe environment-Giving a safe environment

-Providing children with basic needs (e.g. food and -Providing children with basic needs (e.g. food and water, shelter, clothing, medical care)water, shelter, clothing, medical care)

-Teaching them important values -Teaching them important values

-Helping them gain confidence and a positive attitude-Helping them gain confidence and a positive attitude

-Having an active role in their education -Having an active role in their education

IntroductionIntroduction

(Theisen, n.d., Webb. 2013)

What was it like seeing your child What was it like seeing your child for the very first time?for the very first time?

Sharing Time Sharing Time

Studies show that :Studies show that :

-Parents develop greater satisfaction in life -Parents develop greater satisfaction in life

-Parents report higher levels of happiness -Parents report higher levels of happiness

-Parents have greater meaningfulness on a -Parents have greater meaningfulness on a moment-to-moment basis moment-to-moment basis

-Parents are more motivated to make -Parents are more motivated to make healthy choiceshealthy choices

-Children greatly benefit from the happiness -Children greatly benefit from the happiness of their parents of their parents

Parenting: The Most Rewarding Job Parenting: The Most Rewarding Job

(Haiken, 2013, Kashdan, 2012; Nelson, Kushlev, English, Dunn & Lyubomirsky, 2012)

What do you enjoy most about What do you enjoy most about being a parent?being a parent?

Sharing SessionSharing Session

What are the recent changes What are the recent changes you noticed in your child?you noticed in your child?

Sharing SessionSharing Session

Early Childhood (3-5 years old)Early Childhood (3-5 years old)

-Sleeping concerns-Sleeping concerns (e.g. hesitant in going to bed) (e.g. hesitant in going to bed)

-Eating concerns-Eating concerns (e.g. “Picky” eating, decreased (e.g. “Picky” eating, decreased appetite)appetite)

-Behavioral concerns-Behavioral concerns (e.g. lack of self-control, (e.g. lack of self-control, demanding behavior) demanding behavior)

-Emotional concerns-Emotional concerns (e.g. shyness, fearful, nervous) (e.g. shyness, fearful, nervous)

-Speech or Language concerns-Speech or Language concerns (e.g. speech (e.g. speech delayed) delayed)

Challenges as Children Develop Challenges as Children Develop

(National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health, 2010c)

Middle Childhood (6-10 years old)Middle Childhood (6-10 years old)-Difficulties in adjusting to their wider -Difficulties in adjusting to their wider

environmentenvironment-School concerns-School concerns (e.g. difficulties with different (e.g. difficulties with different

subjects) subjects) -Emotional concerns-Emotional concerns (e.g. separation (e.g. separation

problems, low self-esteem) problems, low self-esteem) -Peer concerns-Peer concerns (e.g. difficulties in getting along (e.g. difficulties in getting along

with other children)with other children)-Behavioral concerns-Behavioral concerns (e.g. aggressiveness, (e.g. aggressiveness,

temper outbursts, hyperactivity) temper outbursts, hyperactivity)

Challenges as Children Develop Challenges as Children Develop

(National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health, 2010d)

Early Adolescence (11-14 years old)Early Adolescence (11-14 years old)

-Exposure to more stressful situations -Exposure to more stressful situations

-Body image concerns -Body image concerns

-Emotional concerns-Emotional concerns (e.g. low self-esteem, anxiety, (e.g. low self-esteem, anxiety, confusion)confusion)

-Behavioral concerns-Behavioral concerns (e.g. Excessive risk-taking, (e.g. Excessive risk-taking, difficulties in managing anger, rebellious behavior) difficulties in managing anger, rebellious behavior)

-Social concerns-Social concerns (e.g. peer pressure, bullying) (e.g. peer pressure, bullying)

--Informational Concerns Informational Concerns (e.g. “information (e.g. “information overload”, access to inappropriate information) overload”, access to inappropriate information)

Challenges as Children Develop Challenges as Children Develop

(National Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health, 2010a; 2010b )

-Difficulties in balancing time for one’s self, -Difficulties in balancing time for one’s self, one’s family and one’s work one’s family and one’s work

-The downside of technology -The downside of technology (e.g. lowering (e.g. lowering attention spans of children, difficulties in managing attention spans of children, difficulties in managing what our children are watching and listening to) what our children are watching and listening to)

-Having children maintain a balanced diet-Having children maintain a balanced diet -Challenges in keeping a positive family -Challenges in keeping a positive family atmosphere atmosphere

-Children’s mental and emotional issues and how -Children’s mental and emotional issues and how they cope with them they cope with them

Challenges for Parents in Today’s Challenges for Parents in Today’s SocietySociety

(Victorious Kidss Educares, 2012 Prokerala Kids, 2005; Makori, 2012; Maydan, 2008)

What major challenges have you recently What major challenges have you recently faced with your child? faced with your child?

How were you able to overcome these How were you able to overcome these challenges?challenges?

Sharing SessionSharing Session

Instinctive ParentingInstinctive Parenting-Applies traditional parenting -Applies traditional parenting

techniques passed on from techniques passed on from generation to generation generation to generation

--“To parent the way you were “To parent the way you were parented” parented”

Attachment ParentingAttachment Parenting-Strives to respond to their -Strives to respond to their

child's emotional needs at all child's emotional needs at all times. times.

Parenting Styles Parenting Styles

(McGolerick, 2011)

Helicopter ParentingHelicopter Parenting-Monitors every action and activity in a -Monitors every action and activity in a

child’s lifechild’s life

Permissive ParentingPermissive Parenting-Very lenient and relaxed parenting -Very lenient and relaxed parenting

stylestyle-Approaches children as friends -Approaches children as friends

Parenting Styles Parenting Styles

(McGolerick, 2011)

Authoritative ParentingAuthoritative Parenting-A balance between two values: -A balance between two values: FreedomFreedom and and

responsibility responsibility -Being responsive, nurturing and involved -Being responsive, nurturing and involved -Leading by example in order to set standards for -Leading by example in order to set standards for

future conduct future conduct -Being good listeners and speakers-Being good listeners and speakers-Encouraging independence -Encouraging independence -Providing fair and consistent discipline (to support -Providing fair and consistent discipline (to support

rather than to punish) rather than to punish) -Proven beneficial for children of different nationalities -Proven beneficial for children of different nationalities

and cultural backgroundsand cultural backgrounds

Parenting Styles Parenting Styles

(Cherry, 2013; Dewar, 2010; McGolerick, 2011)

Studies show that children raised by Studies show that children raised by authoritativeauthoritative parents are.. parents are..

-Independent -Independent -Responsible-Responsible-Socially comfortable (positive social skills)-Socially comfortable (positive social skills)-Academically successful -Academically successful -Willing to explore new things and gain new skills -Willing to explore new things and gain new skills -Better at controlling their emotions -Better at controlling their emotions

Authoritative Parenting Authoritative Parenting

(Cherry, 2013; Dewar, 2010)

Clearly Sharing your Expectations with your Child Clearly Sharing your Expectations with your Child -How you expect them to treat others -How you expect them to treat others -How you expect them to know what is right and wrong -How you expect them to know what is right and wrong -The responsibilities you expect them to fulfill-The responsibilities you expect them to fulfill-Modeling and regularly explaining reasons for rules are -Modeling and regularly explaining reasons for rules are

needed needed

Staying calm and patient Staying calm and patient -Have a positive mindset while dealing with challenging -Have a positive mindset while dealing with challenging

situations situations -Judge the bad action, but not the child-Judge the bad action, but not the child-Be consistent when it comes to disciplining your child -Be consistent when it comes to disciplining your child

Parenting Skills Parenting Skills

(Lopez, 2004)

Rewarding Positive Actions Rewarding Positive Actions

-Rewarding both through words and actions -Rewarding both through words and actions

-Rewarding through encouragement-Rewarding through encouragement

-Recognize improvements made by your child-Recognize improvements made by your child

-Be honest and specific while encouraging-Be honest and specific while encouraging

-Provide encouragement even during moments of failure -Provide encouragement even during moments of failure

Parents as Role ModelsParents as Role Models

-Set a positive example for your child-Set a positive example for your child

-The use of role-playing -The use of role-playing

-It is natural for parents to make mistakes as well -It is natural for parents to make mistakes as well (“(“There is no such thing as a perfect parent”There is no such thing as a perfect parent”))

Parenting Skills Parenting Skills

(Drexler, 2012; Lopez, 2004)

Early Childhood (3-5 years old)Early Childhood (3-5 years old)

-Get to know your child more through the use of play-Get to know your child more through the use of play

-Encourage your child to play with other children-Encourage your child to play with other children

-Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child-Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child

-Let your child help with simple chores-Let your child help with simple chores

-Regularly read to your child-Regularly read to your child

-Use whole sentences in speaking to your child-Use whole sentences in speaking to your child

Suggestions for Positive ParentingSuggestions for Positive Parenting

(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2007)

Middle Childhood (6-10 years old)Middle Childhood (6-10 years old)

-Encourage your child to share his/her experiences in -Encourage your child to share his/her experiences in school or with friendsschool or with friends

-Encourage your child to set goals-Encourage your child to set goals

-Use discipline to guide and protect rather than to -Use discipline to guide and protect rather than to punish punish

(Make these moments serve as learning experiences) (Make these moments serve as learning experiences)

-Make clear rules and follow them through-Make clear rules and follow them through

-Spend quality time together as a family-Spend quality time together as a family

Suggestions for Positive ParentingSuggestions for Positive Parenting

(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2007)

Early Adolescence (11-14 years old)Early Adolescence (11-14 years old)

-Be honest and open with your child when talking about -Be honest and open with your child when talking about sensitive subjectssensitive subjects

-Encourage your child to get exercise-Encourage your child to get exercise

-As much as possible, eat together as a family-As much as possible, eat together as a family

-Meet and get to know your child’s friends-Meet and get to know your child’s friends

-Show an interest in your child’s school life and hobbies-Show an interest in your child’s school life and hobbies

-Help your children make healthy choices-Help your children make healthy choices

-Encourage your child to think about the future -Encourage your child to think about the future

Suggestions for Positive ParentingSuggestions for Positive Parenting

(Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2007)

-Come up with a healthy routine for your child (e.g. diet, sleeping time)-Come up with a healthy routine for your child (e.g. diet, sleeping time)

-Avoid using computer devices as “babysitters”-Avoid using computer devices as “babysitters”

-Make an agreement with your child on the amount of time he/she can -Make an agreement with your child on the amount of time he/she can use the computer use the computer

-Educate children about the importance of online safety-Educate children about the importance of online safety

-Reserve time each day to have “quality moments” with your child -Reserve time each day to have “quality moments” with your child

-Encourage your child to join extra-curricular activities-Encourage your child to join extra-curricular activities

-Dealing with stress:-Dealing with stress:

-Share your feelings with your spouse, relatives or friends-Share your feelings with your spouse, relatives or friends

-Take time to do activities that you enjoy-Take time to do activities that you enjoy

-Break large tasks to smaller, easier tasks -Break large tasks to smaller, easier tasks

Parenting in Today’s Society Parenting in Today’s Society

(Kessler, 2012; Raising Children Network, 2011)

Next Parents’ Interest Class…Next Parents’ Interest Class…

Cake-Making Lesson Cake-Making Lesson

(23(23rdrd October, Thursday ) October, Thursday )

Thank you very much!Thank you very much!

ReferencesReferences

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2007). Learn some positive parenting tips. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2007). Learn some positive parenting tips. CDCP.CDCP. Retrieved from Retrieved from

http://www.cdc.gov/Features/PositiveParenting/

Cherry, K. (2013). What is authoritative parenting. Cherry, K. (2013). What is authoritative parenting. About.com PsychologyAbout.com Psychology. Retrieved from . Retrieved from http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritative-parenting.htm

Dewar, G. (2010). The authoritative parenting style: Warmth, rationality, and high standards. Dewar, G. (2010). The authoritative parenting style: Warmth, rationality, and high standards. Parenting ScienceParenting Science. Retrieved from . Retrieved from

http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html

Drexler, P. (2012). The key to raising confident kids? Drexler, P. (2012). The key to raising confident kids? Psychology TodayPsychology Today. Retrieved from: . Retrieved from: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201208/the-key-raising-confident-kids-stop-complimenting-them

ReferencesReferences

Fox, J. (2008). Back-to-basics: Play in early childhood. Fox, J. (2008). Back-to-basics: Play in early childhood. Early Childhood NewsEarly Childhood News. Retrieved . Retrieved from from http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=240

Haiken, M. (2013). How being a mom can make you healthier. Haiken, M. (2013). How being a mom can make you healthier. Baby CenterBaby Center. Retrieved . Retrieved from from

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-being-a-mom-can-make-you-healthier_1438536.bc

Kashdan, T. (2012). Is parenthood linked to greater joy and meaning or misery? Science Kashdan, T. (2012). Is parenthood linked to greater joy and meaning or misery? Science speaks. speaks. Huffington PostHuffington Post. Retrieved from . Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/todd-kashdan/parenthood_b_1524849.html

Kessler, S. (2012). Kids and tech: Parenting tips for the digital age. Kessler, S. (2012). Kids and tech: Parenting tips for the digital age. MashableMashable. Retrieved . Retrieved from from

http://mashable.com/2012/03/16/kids-and-tech-parenting-tips-for-the-digital-age/

ReferencesReferences

Lopez, W. (2004). Successful parenting skills that shape children's behaviors. Lopez, W. (2004). Successful parenting skills that shape children's behaviors. AllPsych Online.AllPsych Online. Retrieved from Retrieved from

http://allpsych.com/journal/parentingskills.html Makori, W. (2012). Parenting the modern child. Makori, W. (2012). Parenting the modern child. The Star. The Star. Retrieved fromRetrieved from http://www.the-star.co.ke/news/article-14652/parenting-modern-child Maydan, C. (2008). Parenting, and the challenges of the 21Maydan, C. (2008). Parenting, and the challenges of the 21stst century century. The M Word. The M Word. Retrieved . Retrieved

from from http://www.the-m-word.com/

McGolerick, E. (2011). 5 parenting styles for a new generation. McGolerick, E. (2011). 5 parenting styles for a new generation. Sheknows Parenting. Sheknows Parenting. Retrieved Retrieved from from

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/819528/5-parenting-styles-for-a-new-generation

National Center for Education in Maternal and Child HealthNational Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health (2010a). Adolescence(2010a). Adolescence.. Bright Bright FuturesFutures. Retrieved from . Retrieved from

http://www.brightfutures.org/bf2/pdf/pdf/AD.pdf

ReferencesReferences

National Center for Education in Maternal and Child HealthNational Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health (2010b). Early adolescence(2010b). Early adolescence.. Bright Bright FuturesFutures. Retrieved from . Retrieved from

http://www.brightfutures.org/pocket/pdf/38_41.pdf

National Center for Education in Maternal and Child HealthNational Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health (2010c). Early childhood(2010c). Early childhood.. Bright Bright FuturesFutures. Retrieved from . Retrieved from

http://www.brightfutures.org/bf2/pdf/pdf/EC.pdf

National Center for Education in Maternal and Child HealthNational Center for Education in Maternal and Child Health (2010d). Middle childhood(2010d). Middle childhood.. Bright Bright FuturesFutures. Retrieved from . Retrieved from

http://www.brightfutures.org/bf2/pdf/pdf/MC.pdf

Nelson, S.K., Kushlev, K., English, T., Dunn, E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2012).Nelson, S.K., Kushlev, K., English, T., Dunn, E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2012). In defense of In defense of parenthood: Children are associated with more joy than miseryparenthood: Children are associated with more joy than misery. University of California: . University of California: Department of Psychology. Department of Psychology.

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Prokerala Kids (2005). Common challenges in modern parenting. Prokerala Kids (2005). Common challenges in modern parenting. Prokerala KidsProkerala Kids. Retrieved . Retrieved from from

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Raising Children Network (2011). Feeling stressed. Raising Children Network (2011). Feeling stressed. Raising Children NetworkRaising Children Network. Retrieved . Retrieved fromfrom

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Ross, J. (2012). A parent’s definition of parenting. Ordinary Parent. Retrieved from

http://www.ordinaryparent.com/lessons-learned/a-parents-definition-of-parenting/

The Free Dictionary (2012). Parenting. The Free Dictionary. Retrieved from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/parenting

ReferencesReferences

Theisen, C. (n.d.). 8 essential parenting responsibilities. Theisen, C. (n.d.). 8 essential parenting responsibilities. Family ResourceFamily Resource. Retrieved from . Retrieved from http://www.familyresource.com/parenting/parent-education/8-essential-parental-http://www.familyresource.com/parenting/parent-education/8-essential-parental-responsibilitiesresponsibilities

Victorious Kidss Educares (2012). Challenges of being a 21Victorious Kidss Educares (2012). Challenges of being a 21stst century parent. century parent. Victorious Kidss Victorious Kidss EducaresEducares. Retrieved from . Retrieved from http://blogs.victoriouskidsseducares.org/?p=28http://blogs.victoriouskidsseducares.org/?p=28

Webb, C. (2013). Responsibilities and duties of parents. Webb, C. (2013). Responsibilities and duties of parents. GlobalpostGlobalpost. Retrieved from . Retrieved from http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/responsibilities-duties-parents-7816.htmlhttp://everydaylife.globalpost.com/responsibilities-duties-parents-7816.html