© 2011 A&C BLACK • PHOTOCOPIABLE WITHIN THE TERMS OF A PERFORMANCE LICENCE

10

MUSIC PRELUDE

PROLOGUE

As the music is coming to an end, enter Malicia Grim carrying a large battered storybook. She steps to the front of the stage, opens the book and begins to read.

Malicia: Rats! They chased the dogs and bit the cats but there was more to it than that. [Looks up at the audience.] Oh, how rude of me. I haven’t even introduced myself. My name is Malicia Grim and I come from a long line of storytellers. Except for my father that is. He’s the mayor of this town so you’d better watch your step. Anyway, I’m going to tell you an incredible tale that happened in this town not so long ago. Let me introduce you to the Amazing Maurice.

Enter Maurice

Malicia: Yes, he’s just a street cat and not much to look at, I admit. But, in a city far away from here at the Wizard’s University, something magical happened to Maurice. One day, he began to think awesome thoughts and he began to speak.

Maurice: [confidently to the audience] I never meant to be amazing. I’m not even sure how it happened.

Malicia: And then there were the rats.

Enter the Clan Rats, side-stepping military-style into a formation of two rows [main character rats in the front row], scratching, sniffing and being generally ratty.

Malicia: Not just any rats. These rats lived beneath the rubbish dump behind the University, where the wizards threw out their worn out spell books, dribbly candle stubs and the green bubbly stuff in the cauldrons. These rats also began to think and to speak.

Clan Rats: Hello!

THE SCRIPT1

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11© 2011 A&C BLACK • PHOTOCOPIABLE WITHIN THE TERMS OF A PERFORMANCE LICENCE

Malicia: They chose names for themselves ~ names from the labels they found on the rubbish dump. There was the eldest, Hamnpork.

Hamnpork: [gruffly] I’m the leader.

Malicia: Peaches.

Peaches: [with a little curtsy] Pleased to meet you.

Malicia: Sardines.

Sardines: Charmed I’m sure. [Gives a little twirl.]

Malicia: Darktan, the leader of the trap disposal squad.

Darktan: Stick with me if you wanna live. [Salutes.]

Malicia: And the cleverest of the rats, young Dangerous Beans.

Dangerous Beans: [looking up, wondering] We’ve definitely changed, but what does it all mean?

Malicia: And a host of others, too many to name here. But when the Amazing Maurice got together with the rats, he had a bright idea.

Maurice: Hold on a minute! I’ve got a bright idea. I think we can make a bit of money out of this situation. All I need is a kid who can play a pipe.

Enter the Kid with a musical pipe.

Kid: That’s when he found me. I was playing some tunes for a few pence on a street corner, when along comes this cat saying...

Maurice: Hey, Kid, wanna make some real money?

Kid: And that was that. We’d travel from town to town.

Sardines: We rats would go in first. Make a nuisance of ourselves: chase the cats, eat the food, widdle over everything...

Maurice: And then me and the Kid would turn up...

Kid: And I’d offer to play my pipe to lead the rats away... for a price of course. Usually 30 dollars.

Maurice: Hey, Kid, never discuss money in front of strangers.

Malicia: Maurice, the rats and the Kid went from town to town ~ the townsfolk were only too happy to pay to get rid of the rats. It was the perfect scam.

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12

So that’s where my incredible tale begins. The Amazing Maurice said it was just a story about people and rats, but I say it was a story about stories. As I always say, if you don’t turn your life into a story, you just become part of someone else’s.

All characters on stage sing ‘Tell them a tale’. The Clan Rats are aligned along the stage. Malicia is sitting, stage right, reading her book. Maurice and the Kid stand centre front.

During verses 1 and 2, the rats act out the scam, leering and posturing at the audience, which some rats invade, pulling faces, scratching and gnawing. During the choruses, the Kid plays his pipe and a townsman runs up and places a bag of money at his feet. Maurice looks around furtively and takes the bag, gesturing for the Kid and the rats, happily celebrating, to regroup.

SONG ~ TELL THEM A TALE

Intro [the Clan Rats join in with finger clicks]

All:Stay for a while, Our story will make you smile, Come and meet my amazing friend. Cat with a plan, A money for nothing scam And the gold just around the bend. We go town to town, It’s a free show, scurry round Till the people pay the piper for his tune.

Chorus Tell them a tale of rats, We’re educated rodents, that’s a fact, And an amazing cat, It’s such a crazy act, Tell them a tale.

Shine all your claws, And practise your squeaks and gnaws, Making sure each platoon prepares. Time to move in, The screams and the shouts begin, Let them see rat runs ev’rywhere. We go town to town, It’s a free show, scurry round Till the people pay the piper for his tune.

Chorus Tell them a tale of rats, We’re educated rodents, that’s a fact, And an amazing cat, It’s such a crazy act, Tell them a tale.

2

Peaches and Dangerous Beans together, longingly: Some day we may find a place of our own, Somewhere just for rats, No more dogs and cats.

Maurice: [spoken, holding up his money bags] What! And break up a beautiful partnership?

Final chorus, all: Tell them a tale of rats, We’re educated rodents, that’s a fact, And an amazing cat, It’s such a crazy act, Tell them a tale, Tell them a tale, Tell them a tale, Tell them a tale.

Malicia: Oh, but I don’t want you to go thinking this is one of those cute little stories for ickle kids about fluffy animals. You know, with titles like ‘Mr Bunnsy has an Adventure’ or ‘Ratty Rupert Sees It Through’. No, this is a proper story with sub-text, narrative tension and social commentary. Not to mention a bit of violence. But I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m not even in this scene. The story really began on a stormy night on the outskirts of the town of Bad Blintz.

Exit Malicia.

SCENE 1

Overlooking the town of Bad Blintz.

Maurice: Well, here we are again. Another town. Another job. Rich pickings, I expect. Honestly, what would you do without me?

Kid: Maurice.

Maurice: Yes, Kid?

Kid: You don’t think what we’re doing is dishonest, do you? Taking their money.

Maurice: Kid, what you’ve got to ask yourself is: who do we take the money from actually?

13© 2011 A&C BLACK • PHOTOCOPIABLE WITHIN THE TERMS OF A PERFORMANCE LICENCE

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© 2011 A&C BLACK • PHOTOCOPIABLE WITHIN THE TERMS OF A PERFORMANCE LICENCE

14

Kid: Well, it’s usually the mayor or the town council who pay us.

Maurice: Exactly, it’s not stealing, it’s gov-ern-ment money.

Kid: Dangerous Beans says it’s un-eth-ic-al.

Peaches: That’s right, Maurice. Dangerous Beans says we shouldn’t live by trickery.

Maurice: Listen Peaches. Trickery is what humans are all about. They elect governments to do it for them.

Dangerous Beans: But it’s wrong, Maurice, and we don’t want to do it any more. We’re better than this. We want to settle down. I’ve been reading about places ~ somewhere rats could live together peacefully.

Maurice: [indignantly] Dangerous Beans, I don’t believe I’m hearing this. What about the Kid’s future?

Kid: Don’t worry about me. I just want to go on playing my music. Maybe the rats are right. We’ve had a couple of narrow squeaks ~ what with the town watch, and then there was that highwayman.

Hamnpork: [interrupting abruptly] I’m the leader and I say we were better off on the rubbish heap. A rat knows where he is in a rubbish heap. All this thinking sounds very un-ratty to me. We shouldn’t be listening to a cat.

Peaches: Then we’re agreed, this will be our very last job.

Dangerous Beans: We divide the money and go our separate ways. Let us lead a new life.

Maurice: All right, all right. But if this is the last time, let’s make this the big one. Let’s leave ’em amazed! Come on Kid, we’ll head into the town. Rats ~ do what you do best.

Exit Maurice and the Kid.

Hamnpork: Platoons!

The Clan Rats divide into three small platoons. Right to left: platoon 3 (the widdlers with Bitesize at the front); platoon 2 (gnawers and squeakers with Sardines at the front); platoon 1 (the trap disposal squad including Nourishing). Peaches and Dangerous Beans stand to one side.

Peaches: We’d better light the candle if we’re going underground. Dangerous Beans, did you mean that about a place for rats?