fall2014/www.afpnet.org advancingPhilanthropy 17

fundraisers are skilled at understanding the mo-tivations of donors, but are they equally attuned to their own emotions and intentions before they

walk through a donor’s door? Is that even important? Maybe more than you think.

What Makes fundraisers tick?The psychology of giving has long been of interest to fundraisers, and more recently, the field of neuroscience has been providing a stream of exciting insights into the workings of the human brain that have dramatically strengthened an understanding of how people give, why they give and how giving makes them feel. But what about the psychology of the people who make the ask? Until recently, there has been comparatively little empirical or even anecdotal research into the fundraiser’s mind.

an effort to address that imbalance is now underway at the Centre for philanthropy at the University of Kent in the United Kingdom (www.kent.ac.uk/sspssr/philan thropy). funded by a fellowship from the Leverhulme Trust (www.leverhulme.ac.uk), Beth Breeze, ph.D., di-rector of the Centre for philanthropy, is in the midst of a three-year research study, The Formation of Fundraisers: The Role of Personal Skills in Asking for Money. The pur-pose of her research is rather simple, she says: to answer the question “how do the personal and social skills of fund-raisers interact with their professional/technical skills to affect the amounts of money raised for good causes?” put another way, are fundraisers born or made?

Breeze explains that there is a growing body of litera-ture on how to do fundraising—the technical aspects of the job, such as strategies and techniques—but almost nothing on how to be a fundraiser. What personal qual-ities and “soft skills” are required to succeed in encour-aging the transfer of resources from private wealth to the

public good? at the same time, the study of charitable giving has been dominated by economistic studies that involve modelling factors, such as donor wealth and the effect of tax breaks, rather than attempting to understand or account for the impact of those who enable gifts. as she points out, it is not possible to understand the eco-nomics of charitable giving without accounting for the role of fundraising. for example, dire predictions of dips in voluntary income during recessions often fail to mate-rialize due to the energy and drive of fundraisers.

at the National Convention of the Institute of fund-raising (www.institute-of-fundraising.org.uk) in Lon-don held in July, Breeze presented her findings thus far. her session, “Who asks? an exploration of the personal characteristics of U.K. fundraisers,” revealed various per-sonality traits and personal qualities found in development professionals.

n They are emotionally intelligent, which includes having high levels of self-awareness, the ability to regulate emotions, being highly motivated and exhibiting high levels of empathy.

n They have had formative experiences as a child or young person, such as fundraising or borrowing items from neighbors, which mean they are comfortable with asking.

n They have a life outside their day job, such as singing in a choir, enjoying noncompetitive sports and taking evening classes.

n They are avid readers—including reading popular psychology books.

n They can read people and situations, understand body language and “hear the unsaid.”

What makes a fundraiser?

By PAuL LAgAsse

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n They are experts in reciprocity. They enjoy gift-giv-ing and are far more likely to donate blood than the general population.

n They have a great memory for faces, names and per-sonal details.

n They are “Janus-faced”—charming, laid back and fun in front of donors but ruthlessly well-organized behind the scenes.

n They are enablers/scene-setters rather than visible leaders seeking recognition.

n They are not egotistical, preferring to save the plaques for donors, not the askers.

n They are appreciation experts. Despite the job ti-tle of “fundraiser,” they actually spend more time on thanking and stewarding donors than on raising funds.

So far, the research has involved 32 in-depth inter-views and a major survey of some 1,300 U.K. fundraisers. What has surprised Breeze the most? “I’m surprised by how different fundraisers are. There is no one personality type, but there are shared commonalities. I’m also struck by how similar major donor fundraisers are to major do-nors. They want to use their time and skills to achieve change and to feel they have led a purposeful life.”

Thedifferencesbetweenthenonprofitsec-torandthe for-profitworldhavebecomesomething of a mantra among fundrais-

ers.Charitieswork foragreatergood,yousay,whilebusinessesareonlyinterestedintheirownprofit.fundraisersaremotivatedbyadesiretochangetheworld(oratleastacornerofit),whilesalespeople are focused primarily on raisingtheircompany’sbottomline.However,nonprof-itsandbusinessessharesomeimportantthingsincommon—mostobviously,theneedformon-ey.Becausefundraisersandsalespeopleseektoachievevastlydifferentends,fundraisersargue,theirmeansmustdifferaswell.Otherwise,fund-raisersfear,whataretheyexceptasalespersonbyanothername?

“We’re both trying to encourage someoneto make a decision, but for very different rea-sons,”saysBrianSaber,presidentandco-found-erofaskingMatters(www.askingmatters.com).“What we’re ‘selling’ in the nonprofit world ishelpingothersandgoodwill.”

a major difference between fundraisers andsalespeople, Saber points out, is motivation.“In for-profit sales, you learn to love the prod-uct,andyougosellit,”hesays.“Inthenonprofitworld,youbelieve in theorganization,andyousell it, but your reasons for doing so are muchmorepersonal.”

as the person in charge of training for thesilent phase of a major capital campaign, Mat-

The Salesmanship Dilemma

thew S. Cottle, CfRE, director of advancementplanningandspecialprojectsatCaliforniaPoly-technic(CalPoly)StateUniversity(www.calpoly.edu),hadtoconfronttheissueoffundraisermo-tivationheadon.Becauseofadearthofavailabledevelopmentofficerswithmajor-giftexperience,Cal Poly has been recruiting people with com-mercialsalesbackgroundsandtrainingthemtounderstand the differences between the trans-actionalapproachusedbysalespeopleandtherelationshipapproachpreferredbyfundraisers.

Explicatingthedifferencesbetweenfundrais-ersandsalespeople,Cottlesays,hashelpedhimmorefullyunderstandtheroleofthefundraiserinthedonorrelationshipequation,aswellastherisk posed by the cultivation of a transaction-al mindset that values the fundraiser’s need tosecureagiftabovethedonor’sdesireto joinagroup that shares the same passion. “a dona-tion indicatesa sharedaspirationanda sharedemotion,” Cottle says. “If we don’t understandourownemotionalresponses,weruntheriskofallowingtherelationshiptoveeroff inunantici-pateddirections.”

another critical element is the fearof rejec-tion.Ifafundraiser’sfearofrejectionweretopre-venthimorherfromsecuringamajorgiftfroma high-net-worth individual, the result for theorganization’s bottom line could be disastrous.“Becauseyoucaresomuch,itcanfeellikeaper-sonalrejectionifadonorturnsyoudown,”Saber

fall2014/www.afpnet.org advancingPhilanthropy 19

the importance of confidencefundraisers also can learn more about themselves through simple first-hand observation. Tom ahern, principal at ahern Donor Communications (www.aherncomm.com) in foster, R.I., has identified three key common personality traits of fundraisers gleaned from conversa-tions, both formal and informal:

n Empathy

n pride

n Confidence

ahern says that empathy is fundamental to the psycho-logical makeup of a fundraiser. “You need to be able to

close the empathy gap with your donor,” he explains. he cites a dictum of marketing guru and author Seth Godin: people support what they see in themselves. and when the benefit is intangible, such as in the case of a charita-ble gift, it is the fundraiser’s empathy that reinforces the donor’s self-image.

The fundraisers that ahern knows and works with are all deeply proud of the work they do, not only of the causes they support but also of their knowledge of the craft. “They are seriously into learning and making things better,” ahern says. “They’re not satisfied with the status quo.”

says. “Itbecomesa reflectiononyou, and thatgetsinthewayofasking.”

Notonlycanfundraiserslearnfromsalespeo-plehownot to take rejectionpersonally, Sabersuggests,buttheyalsoshouldseektominimizethe riskof rejectionby takingamore strategicapproachtothewaytheyidentifyandcultivateprospects.andthatmeanstakingadvantageofknowledgethat’salreadyoutthere.

“Good fundraisers know that money is aby-product of putting the right opportunity infrontoftherightpersonattherighttime,”saysdonorcommunicationsexpertTomahern(www.aherncomm.com). “and that’s straight out ofsalesandmarketing.”

ahern, whose background is in commercialsales and marketing, points out that his fieldis built on a century of empirical research intohuman behavior that allows people to predictthe outcome of a marketing campaign with ahighdegreeofaccuracy.furthermore,hearguesthat,whetherornotdevelopmentprofessionalsrealize or admit it, fundraising is a specializedkind of sales and marketing. The difference, ofcourse, is the use to which fundraisers put theneutral data—the reasons they seek to place asuitable philanthropic opportunity in front of astrongprospectatamomentthatisopportuneforboththedonorandtheorganization.

Both salespeople and fundraisers are inthe business of persuading people to part

with their money,but for very differ-ent reasons. Where-as a salesperson canpromiseatangibleben-efitforthepersonwiththemoney to spend, a fundraiserinstead can only offer an intangible benefittothedonorinexchangeforthepromiseoftangibleresultsforotherpeople.andifsalesisaboutpersuadingpeopletodosomethingtheymaybe insomewayresistanttodoing,fundraisingisaboutencouragingpeopletodosomethingtheypassionatelywanttodo.

“My motivations are to alleviate sufferingand help people better their lives througheducation,” says William f. Bartolini, Ph.D.,aCfRE, senior adviser for principal givingat George Washington University (www.development.gwu.edu) in Washington, D.C.“Earlier in my career, when I sold shoes andkids clothes, the sales were transactional. Iprovidedaservice,peopleboughttheproduct,andIgotacommission.Itwasajob.Butthat’schangednow.”

In providing a donor with an opportuni-ty to achieve self-actualization, a fundraiserachievesself-actualizationaswell.“I’mengag-ingdonorsinacauseandsharingmypassionandenthusiasmwithdonors,”Bartolini adds.“I’mhelpingchangelives.Howgreatisthat?”

20 advancingPhilanthropy www.afpnet.org/fall2014

along with pride in their work, fundraisers also exhib-it a deep-seated confidence in what they do and how they do it. “Confidence isn’t about go-ing into the room and asking,” ahern adds. “Confidence is about persistence.” To illustrate, ahern

cites his mentor, fund development consultant Guy Mallabone. “he treats everything as a campaign,” ahern explains. “he will take years to match a philanthropist to a project. and he’s not going to

quit until he finds out what that philanthropist cares about.”

Oneofthebestwaystodoyourjobmoreeffectively and successfully is to fullyunderstand what skills, behaviors and

strengthsyouhave—andthoseyouneedtoim-prove.

Youcandetermineyourownaskingstylebytakinga free, 30-question, self-assessment teston the asking Matters website at www.askingmatters.com/whats-your-asking-style.

Howwouldyouanswerthefollowing(trueorfalse)?

n Ihaveagoodmemoryforfactsandfigures.

n IamatmybestwhenIamspontaneous.

n Havingtimealoneisimportanttome.

n Iamcuriousaboutwhatmakespeopletick.

n OnceImakeadecision,Itendtostickwithit.

n Iusemyfeelingstoconvinceothers.

n Imakelistsandcheckitemsoffwhentheyaredone.

n Iadaptreadilytothestyleofthosearoundme.

n Ihavethepatienceforstep-by-stepwork.

n Goalsareimportanttome.

n Iusetheenergyofotherstosparkmythinking.

n Ithinkofmyselfaswellorganized.

To learn more, read Asking Styles: Harness Your Personal Fundraising Power by andreaKihlstedt (CharityChannel Press, 2012), paper-back,87pages.

also,whatmakesthebestmajor-donorfund-raisersthebestatwhattheydo?Whatdothey

Know Thyself

know,whatdotheyactuallydo,whatskillsdotheydisplayandwhatpersonalitycharacteris-ticsdotheyhave?

TheInstituteoffundraising(Iof)inlondonconducteditsownresearchandanalysis,inter-viewingheadsofmajor-donorteamsfrombothlargeandsmallcharities,shadowingmajor-giftfundraisersandseekingtheopinionsofcoach-esandconsultantstodrawupalistof30keycompetencies,personalitytraitsandbehaviorsof leading major-gift fundraisers. These com-petencies were then developed into an onlineself-assessment tool (https://www.spidergap.com/assessments/6118), which major-donorfundraisers can use to benchmark how well

they exhibit the habits, attitudes, beliefs, be-haviorsandessentialknowledgeofaneffectivemajor-gift fundraiser. In addition, the tool willhelpthemidentifytheirstrengthsandhighlightareasofthemajor-giftprocessthatafundraisermaywantorneedtodevelopmost.

Theself-assessmenttakesabout10minutestocomplete,andyour resultswillnotbesharedordistributedbytheIoftoanyoneoranyorganiza-tion.formore information,pleasecontactPhilipallenatphilip@institute-of-fundraising.org.uk.

What makes the best

major-donor fundraisers the best at what they do?

fall2014/www.afpnet.org advancingPhilanthropy 21

Unfortunately, ahern points out, these same charac-teristics often put fundraisers at odds with their own or-ganizations. as revealed in the 2013 Compasspoint study UnderDeveloped: A National Study of Challenges Facing Nonprofit Fundraising (www.compasspoint.org/un derdeveloped), many fundraisers feel their prerogatives are being usurped by people who do not understand their job. This, in turn, damages their pride and rattles their confidence. for example, although there is abundant evidence demonstrating that the most effective length of a well-written fundraising letter is four pages, ahern reports countless fundraisers who have lamented to him that their executive directors and boards insist that letters not exceed one page. “a fundraiser’s job is to have a free hand, yet nobody trusts them,” ahern says. “So, instead of being bold and innovative, they end up caring about whether or not they can get something approved.”

It is a tension that can significantly affect the attitudes and behaviors of a successful fundraiser.

the extroversion Mythanother challenge that can undermine a development professional’s confidence is the persistence of the stereotype that successful fundraisers are extroverts. While experts agree that there is no apparent correlation between success and extroversion, the myth continues to hobble fundraisers and volunteers who consider themselves to be even moderately introverted. If, as ahern and others contend, most fundraisers don’t see themselves as extroverts, how many of them also secretly internalize the conclusion that they must therefore not be very good at their jobs? (Interestingly, in 2012, an informal survey of aCfREs revealed that, out of 53 responses, 16 consider themselves introverts, 23 see themselves as extroverts, 13 say they are both and one says, “It depends!”)

“I have known some wonderful fundraisers who are introverts, and I’d like to suggest that a person doesn’t have to be an extrovert to be a good fundraiser,” says William f. Bartolini, ph.D., aCfRE, senior adviser for principal giving at George Washington University (www.development.gwu.edu) in Washington, D.C. Rather, he explains, successful fundraisers are people with strong empathy and communication skills, regardless of their confidence level. furthermore, those skills can be learned, practiced and improved over time, which in turn leads to greater confidence.

a skilled communicator adjusts his or her style to suit the prospect’s comfort level, notes Bartolini, a self-described extrovert who studies the psychology of fundraising from the perspectives of the fundraiser

as well as the donor. he points out that these changes occur routinely in everyday conversation, such as whenever you adjust the volume or pace of your speech in response to cues that you pick up during the course of a conversation. “Matching up my style doesn’t mean that I’m being manipulative or that I’m changing personalities,” Bartolini says. “If I were matched with an introvert, I would dial down my extroversion and rely on my empathy and communication skills, but I wouldn’t pretend to be an introvert.”

Putting your Personality to WorkNew York-based fundraising consultant and author of Asking Styles: Harness Your Personal Fundraising Power (CharityChannel press, 2012), andrea Kihlstedt (www.andreakihlstedt.com) echoes Bartolini’s belief that fundraisers can and should adapt their approach to the donor. Ideally, she says, the approach should suit the personality of the fundraiser. “Not everyone has to ask in the same way,” she says. “There are many ways to ask, just as there are many types of people.”

Kihlstedt says she was inspired one evening to develop a method for tailoring gift solicitation techniques to different personalities—“a simple fundraising version of the Myers-Briggs assessment,” as she envisioned it. at the time, she was reading with her husband, who is highly analytical, in contrast to her strongly intuitive personality. “Was it possible that we both could be good at asking, even though we’re so different?” she wondered.

Seeking an answer, Kihlstedt and her colleague Bri-an Saber, president and co-founder of asking Matters (www.askingmatters.com), eventually distilled the variables into an easy-to-understand, four-quadrant grid that plots solicitation styles according to two key per-sonality traits: how a person relates to others (extrovert-ed or introverted) and how that person takes in infor-mation (intuitively or analytically). Kihlstedt and Saber characterized the four personalities. (See Chart 1.)

1. Rainmakers (extroverted, analytical) decide ob-jectively, are comfortable talking to anyone, require hard data and connect by incorporating the style of the donor.

2. Go-Getters (extroverted, intuitive) decide by in-stinct, enjoy being with people, are passionate and connect through energy and personal magnetism.

3. Mission Controllers (introverted, analytical) de-cide objectively, are private and thoughtful, require hard data and connect through detailed presenta-tions.

22 advancingPhilanthropy www.afpnet.org/fall2014

4. Kindred Spirits (introverted, intuitive) decide by instinct; are private, thoughtful and passionate; and connect through commitment.

Kihlstedt and Saber found that their model was an ac-curate predictor of success in practice. “The idea is to try to identify your strengths and use them, not to force yourself to be something that you’re not,” she explains. “It makes a huge difference.”

“The image we have of the prototypical super-duper fundraiser is really not accurate,” Saber agrees. Whenev-er he polls fundraisers about their personality styles, he says, Rainmakers—the traditional fundraiser stereotype—actually make up the smallest percentage. In fact, Saber says, more than 50 percent self-identify in one of the two introverted asking Matters’ asking Styles, Mission Con-trollers and Kindred Spirits. (See sidebar.)

Regardless of asking Style, Saber observes, every fundraiser shares the ability to hold a conversation. When meeting with a donor, it does not matter whether you are a smooth and polished speaker or an awkward and hesitant one. “You have to be authentic to be compelling,” he explains. “The No. 1 thing donors want is authenticity, because they want a relationship.”

The asking Matters approach encourages fundraisers to view their particular conversational behaviors as strengths that they can use to their advantage when trying to build connections with donors. “few people will be masters of fundraising,” Saber says, “but anyone can be a master of conversation, and that’s more important.”

In addition, the asking Matters model can be used to identify the personalities of donors, which can help an organization choose a fundraiser with a similar style when soliciting a gift. Organizations that use the personality matrix to pair fundraisers and donors report seeing boosts in the average size of individual gifts—the kind of success that can, in turn, boost a fundraiser’s confidence in his or her skills and asking style.

Saber points out that this pairing approach is not manipulative. “It’s a way of helping people talk with others with whom they’re naturally comfortable,” he explains. “I’d feel terrible if anyone gave me money that they didn’t want to give me.” In his experience, Saber has found that most donors find a solicitation meeting awkward even when they know up front they will be asked to make a gift. Matching the personalities of the fundraiser and the donor facilitates empathy, which makes the conversation easier for the participants.

What’s your eQ?When Matthew S. Cottle, CfRE, director of advancement planning and special projects at California polytechnic (Cal poly) State University (www.calpoly.edu) in San Luis Obispo, Calif., trained commercial salespeople to serve as gift officers during Cal poly’s capital campaign (see

“The idea is to try to identify your strengths and use them, not to force yourself to be something that you’re not,” she explains.

“It makes a huge difference.”

Chart 1. Asking styles

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At the conclusion of her session “Whoasks? an exploration of the person-al characteristics of U.K. fundraisers”

at theNationalConventionof the Instituteoffundraisinginlondon,BethBreeze,Ph.D.,di-rectoroftheCentreforPhilanthropyattheUni-versityofKent in theUnitedKingdom(www.kent.ac.uk/sspssr/philanthropy), asked at-tendeestoconsiderthefollowing:

n Doyoubelievethatfundraisersarebornormade?

n Howcanyoutellthatsomeoneisagoodfundraiser?

n Howcanyoutellsomeonehasn’t“gotit”?

n Whatdistinctivequalitiesdogoodfundraiserstendtohave?

n arethereanyessentialqualitiesthatfundraisersmusthave?

at one of your chapter meetings, considerdiscussingtheseissues.Whatdoyouthinktheywillreveal—aboutyourself,yourpeersandtheprofession?

What Do You Think?

sidebar), his curiosity was piqued about the psychology of fundraisers. his interest led him to research the concept of emotional intelligence (EI), also called emotional quotient (or EQ). EI measures people’s awareness of not only their emotions but also the emotions of others, in addition to their ability to use that awareness to guide their decision making and actions.

Conceived in the mid-1980s and made popular in Daniel Goleman’s influential book Emotional Intelligence (Bantam Books, 1995), at its heart EI encompasses five skills:

1. Self-awareness: the knowledge of your emotions, moods and abilities

2. Self-regulation: the ability to adapt your emotions to a given situation and to think before acting

3. Social skill: the ability to engage in relationships and to steer social situations toward desired outcomes

4. Empathy: consideration for the feelings, concerns and perspectives of others

5. Motivation: the drive to achieve a goal or objective

Bernard Ross, director of The Management Cen-tre (www.managementcentre.co.uk) in London, with Clare Segal, co-author of The Influential Fundraiser (Wiley, 2008), is a long-time advocate of applying EI in fundraising. “Our experience confirms that emotionally intelligent fundraisers and influencers are simply more successful,” writes Ross in his two-part blog post, “Emo-tional Intelligence in fundraising” (www.management centre.co.uk/bernard_ross_blog/focus-your-passion).

Ross sees EI as an essential component alongside emotional engagement, which enables fundraisers to communicate their passion for the cause. EI provides development professionals with a useful tool kit for managing and channeling their emotions and being attuned to how others respond to them. furthermore, Ross says, successful fundraisers recruit staff and volunteers with high degrees of EI to create an emotionally responsive culture in the organization.

Without EI, Cottle adds, it is too easy for fundraisers to be unaware of how their own response to a situation can affect the successful outcome of a gift solicitation. he recalls a visit many years ago with a prospect whose personal philosophy was significantly at odds with Cottle’s own. Because he could not separate his reaction to the prospect’s opinions from the purpose of his visit, Cottle resisted following up with the prospect and ultimately lost the gift. Lack of emotional self-awareness is an all-too-common problem, he points out.

fundraisers need to understand their own attitudes and emotions lest they risk deceiving themselves—and their donors. It reminds Cottle of the words of Nobel prize-winning physicist Richard feynman (1918–1988): “The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool.”

Paul Lagasse is a freelance writer in Annapolis, Md. (www.avwrites.com).