Pittsburgh Inebriated Thirsty Thursdays Issue #28 1/21/16

www.pitth3.com

PITT SHIT The

“All the booze that’s fit to print”

January 7, 2016 Trail #85

Return to the West End Cafe/

Shameless Cussy Beerthday Hash

Jan 7 @6:30 pm

West End Cafe - 408 S Main St Pittsburgh, PA 15220

Hared by Shameless Cussy, Double Stuffed, and Scram

Guzzled

Join us for the first Pitt Trail of 2016 as we return to

the infamous West End Café. Come to celebrate

Shameless Cussy’s Beerthday, dance our asses off,

and possibly sing some really bad karaoke (if the

machine hasn’t broken yet). Plenty of 40s and cans of

beer will be on chill to pour into your pitcher at our

favorite West End establishment (bc to hell with

Village Tavern).

Trail will be long, arduous, and extremely dangerous.

Seriously, super dangerous, very NOT dog friendly,

Fido could end up impaled if you don’t listen to us. So

listen. It might even be cold for once, who knows.

Headlamps and flashlights are an absolute must

unless you feel like eating dirt. It will all be worth it

though as we promise trail is at least 3x as scenic as

the last West End hash a month ago in our own

seldom hashed areas.

TRAIL STATS:

RUN #: 85 DATE: January 7, 2016

MILES: 3.1 miles ATTENDANCE: 42 (27 M / 15 F)

START: West End Cafe – West End

TEMPERATURE: 41 degrees F

HARES: Shameless Cussy, Scrum Guzzler, Double Stuffed

Commemoratives:

Patch (50 trails): Spermit, The Black Clap, Defender,

ManGurglar, Creamy, Tight E, Scrum, ICP, Major Pecker

Virgins: Just Jeff

Right:

The hares

pose for

their next

album

cover.

Below:

The three

matching

Amigos

Pittsburgh Inebriated Thirsty Thursdays Issue #28 1/21/16

www.pitth3.com

PITT SHIT The

“All the booze that’s fit to print”

Trail #85 Review by Major Pecker

I knew the minute I walked into the West End Café that we were in for one of the classiest PITT trails of 2016. Between the cigarettes in the snack machine to the condoms for sale over the bar, everything just screamed taste. After making friends with the locals and the staff (this was important given the partying that came later), we headed out to do chalk talk in front of a church. To see the hares off, of course, we sang Father Birmingham, which suited the location well. Despite having been warned repeatedly against it, both Sweetums and Golden Showers brought their dogs on trail. Seriously, they did so even after reading the description and calling the hares to ask if it was okay. Fortunately, Poojo and Zippy mostly take care of themselves anyway, so they were okay.

I went into this trail knowing the west end was hilly, but the hares still managed to impress by scrambling us up and down some pretty steep slopes into and out of various neighborhoods. The first hill we peaked was at the adorably tiny West End Park, where we all enjoyed a few beers before plunging back into the shiggy. This beer stop was followed by a really nice staircase where the pack was presented with two choices: cross the single two-by-four leading to the stairs or try to slide down the cliff side contending with jagged rebar and broken glass. Those who took the stairs had to be extra careful, as the end of the staircase was a 15 foot drop straight onto the ground. Fortunately, no one died (even the dogs made it through relatively safely).

The hares then found us another huge hill to clamber up, and we had a second beer stop in the woods, followed by a nice trail run through the dark woods, punctuated by a lovely shot stop for everyone to enjoy. Circle was at a beautiful overlook where we could see the bar about a quarter mile away (of course, without climbing gear the walk back was a bit longer). Potty Gaurd (note: Canadian Spelling) did a magnificent job running her first circle, since our esteemed RA was still too hungover from new years to help out. Circle was followed by a bangin’ dance party at the West End Café, where Tight Embouchure and Scrum Guzzler both showed off their rapping skills with the DJ (Big Philly, of course). We had cake to celebrate Shameless Cussy’s birthday, and everyone had too much St. Ides Special Brew. Shit trail. Even better apres.

Hashers on Trail #85 Any Cock’ll Do Lips of Steel

Assman Cometh Major Pecker

Bend Overture ManGurglar

Butter My Korn Noah

Cock in a Net Porn Again Christian

Cock Smitten Potty Guard

Cream of Mushroom Scrum Guzzler

Cuffed & Battered Shameless Cussy

Defender of Peedom Sherpes

Dirty Gerbil Shitty Titty Gang Bang

Double Stuffed Sir Vix

Fudge Packer Spermit

Gaggle Cock Sweetums

Gay Horse Dancer T-Bag

Golden Showers T-Boner

HLT The Black Clap

ICP The Little Engine that Came

Just Brit Tight Embouchure

Just Jacob Titty Whiskers

Just Jeff Triple Dipple

Just Marcus Ur-A-Gay Gloryhole

Pittsburgh Inebriated Thirsty Thursdays Issue #28 1/21/16

www.pitth3.com

PITT SHIT The

“All the booze that’s fit to print”

St. Ides Special Brew, endorsed by Red

Man, Method Man, Snoop Dogg, Tupac,

and Scrum Guzzler

Right: Dance party up

in this bitch!

Below: Scrum and Big

Philly get ready for The

Next Episode

Bottom Center: Sir Vix

getting ready for the

dance party

Bottom Right: Tight E

and Big Philly rap some

Gin n’ Juice

Pittsburgh Inebriated Thirsty Thursdays Issue #28 1/21/16

www.pitth3.com

PITT SHIT The

“All the booze that’s fit to print”

January 9, 2016 Trail #86

Dark Side #10 (PITT #86/Zano H3 #4)

When: Saturday, January 9, 2016 at 4:30pm

Where: Zano's Pub House (Yes, Zano's)

3806 Acorn St. Pittsburgh, PA 15207

Hares: Lips of Steel, Golden Showers (GPS)

Unlike past "Dark Side" hashes this one is going to

relatively short with scouted trail being 3.9 miles and

will by far the worst Dark Side so far in 2016. However

we have kept all the negative aspects of the Dark Side

hash. So if you have anything else to do Saturday night

I would consider your other options.

IMPORTANT: Headlamp and/or light is mandatory (no

exceptions)

The hares plan on sending a Facebook location beacon

on this event page to the pack once they arrive at the

stops.

TRAIL STATS:

RUN #: 86 DATE: January 9, 2016

MILES: 4.3 miles ATTENDANCE: 27 (16 M / 11 F)

START: Zano’s – Greenfield

TEMPERATURE: 48 degrees F

HARES: Golden Showers, Lips of Steel

Commemoratives:

Tags (10 trails, 1 hare): Steph Infection, My Hog n Me

Namings: Just Brian A is now Wheelbarrow Willy

Above: Beer stop by what’ left of the Greenfield bridge.

Apparently Gargoyles dwell here now

Left: View from the first beer stop

Below: Steph Infection gets tagged

Song of the

Week

Like a Virgin

Like a virgin, hey

Hashed for the very

first time

Like a virgin

Drink up your beer

And pay next time

Pittsburgh Inebriated Thirsty Thursdays Issue #28 1/21/16

www.pitth3.com

PITT SHIT The

“All the booze that’s fit to print”

Zano H3 #4 Review by Scram Goozler

On an unseasonably warm Saturday in January we returned to the only bar in the city/ Zano-H3 HQ to run one of the

2 or 3 remaining good trails in the area. We placed our order for post trail food, as is Zano-H3 protocol, surveyed the

bar and made our way to chalk talk. Spermit gave us an extended chalk talk while Dippy (ICP) and I watched a few

senior citizens try to take down a steel support beam from the Parkway overhead. This time on trail I decided to

hang with No Code, Drrrr Grrrrbs, and Gaggle towards the back and followed what we thought was trail straight up

a hillside into Schenley. Apparently we missed a mile or so of trail even though we were following marks. But oh

well, we came to our first Beer Stop. The ruins of the Greenfield Bridge. Great stop. Unfortunately Defender, Cock’ll,

Sir Vix, Handycock, and a few others were way off trail (or on trail? No one knows) and arrived almost as we were

leaving. At this point Gaggle and I took a detour throughout Schenley after it was apparent there were more than a

few gaps in trail. To be honest it was really nice on a beautiful clear night and I didn't mind a bit. We found stop two

under a bridge with some recently cleared out hobo equipment. GS and Lips were away as we were entering the

stop and we noticed that there was a lot less people there than at the previous stop. Double Stuffed found a nice

laptop that Black Clap wanted to refurbish (possibly for hobo data purposes) but was then thrown and smashed

repeatedly. We then left Beer Stop two for circle. We ran up into Oakland, trespassed a bit and made it back down

to the soccer fields. After waiting for GS and Lips to retrieve a shot stop that was allegedly on trail, Lips chugged the

shot stop in defeat as Defender sang us a song about his sister. My Hog and Me, Steph Infection and two Boston

Terriers got their tags. [Editor’s note: My Hog n Me should not have received his tags since he was 2 trails shy of being

eligible. This is why we can’t have nice things]. [Second Editor’s Note: Apparently Just Brian A was named

Wheelbarrow Willy but Scrum didn’t remember why or how because he left circle early to watch football. Again, this

is why we can’t have nice things.] We all went back to the only bar in Pittsburgh, ate our delicious burgers and

watched the Steelers play a crazy game of foozeball. Great Beer, Shit trail. Zano-H3.

pitts.hhh@gmail.com To sign up for a trail, submit write-

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send us an email.

Hashers on Trail #86

Any Cock’ll Do Glitter Spitter My Hog n Me

Assman Cometh Golden Showers No Code

Cuffed & Battered ICP Scrum Guzzler

Defender of Peedom John Handycock Shitty Titty Gang Bang

Diaper Dan Just Brian A Sir Vix

Dirty Gerbil Just Brit Spermit

Double Stuffed Just Desiree Steph Infection

Gaggle Cock Just Garrett T-Boner

Gay Horse Dancer Lips of Steel The Black Clap

Upcumming Trails: Thurs 1/21 @ 6:30 pm: PITT #87 – Giant Eagle Waterworks

Sat 1/23 @ 5:30pm: Fool Moon – Mike’s New Moon Saloon

Sun 1/24 @ 1 pm: PGH #1709 – South Park

Wed 1/27 @ 6:30 pm: Tn@ #3 – Hal’s Bar and Grill