The Perfect Catch: Fishing, Family, and Friendships
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Transcript of The Perfect Catch: Fishing, Family, and Friendships
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REELING IN THE PRAISE
In Kevin Walsh's book, a simple weekend shing trip becomes an
occasion or an aging ather and his three sons to rediscover howmuch they love each other.
Rabbi Harold Kushner
author oWhen Bad Tings Happen to Good People
Kevin has done it again. He always nds a way to use sports as
a backdrop to bring people together. Te Perect Catch is a warm
story that will touch you.
Jim Nantz
For any man who has ever wanted to make his ather proud
and bond with his brothers, you must read Te Perect Catch.
It's perect or anyone who loves the outdoors, loves to sh and
is not araid to put love back into the tricky dynamic o malerelationships in the amily and among riends.
Dr. Marty Becker
America's Veterinarian
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Fathers and sons and rods and reels and heartbeats in rhythm.
Read Te Perect Catch.
Dan Shaughnessy
author, Francona, the Red Sox Years
Any woman who has ever doubted that women create
relationships while men solve problems will have some ahamoments with this book! Great un, and good ino. I'm hooked.
You will be, too.
Mary M. Mitchellbestselling etiquette author oComplete Idiot's Guideto Etiquette, Fast rack, and 7 other books including
Woos to the Wise: Learning to Lick at Lie andChew on Civility
Just so you know, the Kevin Walsh I once knew melted crayons
in my sink and was totally ascinated with creating a mohawk hair
tall tale doll with the classroom sewing machine. How he became
a V guy and author I'll never know, but I'm sure proud o him.
Lorraine HirshKevin's Fih Grader eacher, Rydal Elementary
A mans book written by a boy whom I taught along with his
brothers many years past. Whod a thunk it? Nice going, Kevin.
Robert HunterKevin's Sixth Grader eacher, Rydal Elementary
Tis book has soul.Gary anguay
Screenwriter and Sports onight V Host, Boston
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Fishing, Family and Friendship
Boston, Massachusetts
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2013, Kevin Walsh. All rights reserved. No part o this book may
be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without writtenpermission except in the case o brie quotations embodied in criticalarticles or reviews. Any similarities to other intellectual works areeither coincidental or have been properly cited when the source isknown. rademarks o products, services, and organizations mentionedherein belong to their respective owners and are not aliated withSweet ea Books. Te author and publisher shall have neither liabilitynor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss ordamage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by
the inormation contained in this book. For inormation, address thepublisher at Sweet ea Books.
Paperback ISBN13: 978-0-9839012-5-9Hardcover ISBN13: 978-0-9839012-6-6Kindle ISBN13: 978-0-9839012-0-4Library o Congress Control Number: 2013940184
Library o Congress Cataloging inormation on le with publisher.
Sweet ea BooksPO Box 812748Wellesley, MA 02482www.SweeteaBooks.comwww.Facebook.com/TePerectCatchBook
Brands and trademarks mentioned in the text o this book are property o their
respective owners. Photographs are rom the private collections o the Walsh amily.
Design and production: Concierge Marketing, Inc.Printed in the United States
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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For my ather, brothers, wie,
and children and all those who fsh.
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Conens
Inroducion: Te Rabbi and he Caholic .....................1
1 Weting he Fly, Wheting he Appeie ..........................7
2 Mee My Dad, Bob ........................................................... 19
3 Coming Home .................................................................. 23
4 Mee My Older Broher, Chris ...................................... 33
5 Four Guys Four Wheelin ............................................... 37
6 Mee My Younger Broher, Michael ........................... 45
7 Ill Be Beter Fishing Where Were Going ................. 49
8 Brohers Figh Over Beerin Walmar ...................... 55
9 On Fish, Fish On! ............................................................ 59
10 Before Fly Fishing, Bas and Bricks o he Head ........ 75
11 Good Guys, Grea Fly Fishing Guides ........................ 89
12 Cell Phones Swim wih he Fishes ................................ 97
13 90 Percen of Fish Are Caughby 10 Percen of Fishermen .........................................101
14 Brohers Inside and Ouside he River ......................115
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15 Fish Ou of Waer, My Dad a a Bar ...........................125
16 Mee My Mom, Carole .................................................131
17 My New Mom and heGreaes Love Sory Ever ..............................................147
18 Te Perfec Cach ...........................................................155
19 ell Your Sons o Go Fishing ......................................169
20 Were Screwed ................................................................175
21 Te Healing Ride Home ...............................................187
22 Tanksgiving ....................................................................201
23 Reurn o he rou Pondand Promises of a Beter Broherhood .......................207
Tank You Noe o Dad ................................................219
Acknowledgmens ..........................................................221
Abou he Auhor ...........................................................225
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1
INTRODUCTION:
THE RABBI AND THE CATHOLIC
It was early May 2012. Sitting across rom me at a Panera Bread
in suburban Boston with a cup o coee between his hands wasmy riend and best-selling author Rabbi Harold Kushner. We get
together every couple o months to talk about sports, lie, and
writing. On this day I wanted to tell him about my upcoming fy
shing trip with my dad and brothers and how special it was to us
as men.
Te rabbi wanted to know more about the shing and my
relationship with my amily. I kind o expected he might ask, and
I was more than willing to share.
I told Rabbi Kushner that my dad didnt give us much choice
about whether we could make it. Dad more or less told my brothers
and me that we would be joining him in six months and at his
expense. It was a summons with plenty o advance notice, a call to
action; and we obeyed. Hes still our ather aer all. It turned out
to be a perect call.
Even though Dad lives in a dierent state, I see him about
every other month. I cant say the same or my brothers. Tey
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K E V I N W A L S H
2
live in two dierent states much arther away. Tere are stretches
when I wont see my brothers or a couple o years. With our
men living in our dierent states it isnt easy to get together.
In act, it had been ve years since we last did, and more than
thirtyyears since we piled into a car or an appreciable drive to a
vacation destination.
In recent years we had discovered that shing was something we
could count on. It was an event. Lets ace it, men need an event to
get together. All the men in my amily sh. Some do it more and
better than others. Te point is we enjoy it, and we enjoy doing
it together. We needed this vacation. We needed to resolve some
lingering issuesor at least I did. I was not as good o a brother
as I should have been, and I wanted to x that. But whether it was
my intention, or someone elses, it was perectly clear to everyone
that we needed to be more involved in each others lives, despitethe great distance separating us.
Tis would be a rst. We had never taken a guys-only amily
vacation. It elt wonderully weird. Te rabbi took it all in with a
warm look on his ace that matched the coee in his hands. Hes a
good man and a great listener.
Rabbi Kushner wanted to talk about something else too. He
was worried about his Boston Red Sox. Hes a season ticketholder so hes invested. He watches me on V talking about the
state o Red Sox Nation, and he wanted to know more. It was
only a month into the season, but already new manager Bobby
Valentine was being crushed by ans and talk radio or his weird
personality and questionable baseball decisions. Te rabbi was
wondering i the season was a lost cause. I hated to tell him, but
it sure looked lost to me.
So how exactly do a rabbi and a good Catholic boy hook up?
About ten years ago, while my wie, Jean, and I were living in
Central Caliornia, she suered a miscarriage. We were hurting.
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T H E P E R F E C T C A T C H
3
A priest recommended reading When Bad Tings Happen to Good
People by Harold Kushner. I anyone could relate to a bad thing
happening to a good person, it was Rabbi Kushner. He lost his
twelve-year-old son Aaron to progeria, old mans disease. Rabbi
Kushners book gave me and, ultimately, Jean peace when we
needed it most.
When I moved to Boston in the summer o 2009, I had
remembered that Harold Kushner was rom the greater Boston
area. With the help o another rabbi whom Id met at a book signing
or my rst book, Te Marrow in Me, I tracked Harold Kushner
down. I sent him one o my personal copies oTe Marrow in Me.
He read it, enjoyed it, and later reached out by email. Weve been
riends and coee conversationalists ever since.
You know, Kevin, its very unusual or men to get together like
were doing, Rabbi Kushner said, mug in hand. Men dont oenget together as riends just or conversation. Te women do, but
i you ever see two men in a restaurant together, theyre almost
always talking about business. Look around, he suggested.
I observed two men sitting by the ront door with a legal pad
between them. O to the side another man sat solo, ddling with
his pencil and looking out the window. No doubt he was awaiting
the arrival o an associate.Around the shop I noted small groups o women engaged in
conversation leaning toward one another or closer connection
and privacyno barrier between them. Next to us a large group
o women, members o a book club, had gathered at a table to
discuss last months novel and what to read next.
Rabbi Kushners comment about the dearth o male bonding
pointed out what should be obvious to all, but what so many
men are oblivious towe oen ignore our ellow man, including
those in our amilies. I was as sure o this as the rabbi was. But
what you eel in your heart, gut, and soul sometimes needs
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K E V I N W A L S H
4
academic muscle to do the fexing. So I picked up the phone and
called two manly men who could do that kind o heavy liing
with appropriate credibility.
Its true and a very signicant phenomenon that runs very
deep in our society with strong implications, says Boston College
Proessor and Neuropsychologist Joe ecce. Men rarely show
compassion and bonding with each other unless its behind the
scenes, one-on-one. Showing concern or a ellow man is perceived
as a weakness, and most men wont risk that.
It wasnt always this way, says Dr. Anthony Rotundo,
historian and author oAmerican Manhood. In the late 1800s
you oen saw boys and men on sports teams posing or pictures
with their arms draped around each others shoulders and
leaning into each other.
But around 1910 things started to change. Tose same picturesbecame the ice cube tray model, a coolness toward whoever was
next to you, and each in his own compartment. Connecting and
bonding were discouraged. It starts early and accumulates over a
lietime in a toxic way. In the end men dont know how to nurture
each other and take care o each other. Tey dont know how to
listen to what a guy is saying and how to understand what hes
reallysaying. Teres a cost or that, according to Dr. Rotundo.Te cost is an emotional toll that taxes our health, our spirit,
and our relationships. Te short shri isnt just limited to our
male riends. We guys oen do it to the men in our amilies too.
And you know what? Its just so darn unnecessary. Tats when I
knew I had another book to write: a book or men about men, and
one that the women seated next to Rabbi Kushner and me would
want their husbands to read.
I hoped to accomplish a lot o things with the shing trip and
ultimately the writing, but or simplicity sake let me see i I can
boil it down to about ve. Tats enough. More than anything, Ill
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T H E P E R F E C T C A T C H
5
admit very selshly, I wanted to build a better relationship with my
brothers. I hungered or what all sons cravea athers approval.
I wished or Dad to see how proud his sons are ohim and how
thankul we are or the lives and opportunities hes given us as we
strive to become the good men, athers, and riends we long to be.
I hoped that readers would vicariously see a part o themselves
in our amilys stories so they too could refect on building more
caring relationships with the men in their lives. And lastly, I just
wanted to have some reasonably clean good un while being a
mans man. Tats good living.
Fishing would be the ramework or my personal and amily
journey. But the male bonding and riendship beyond the bonds
o blood would hopeully be the greater takeaway. Tat would
only come with dicult sel-introspection and letting go o sel-
absorption. Te question was, would this trip give me the chanceto make it right?
As ar as the Red Sox go, there was no question about how
bad they were in 2012. Te not-so-loveable losers lost ninety-
three games. It was their worst season in orty-seven years. Tey
missed the playos or the third straight season. Manager Bobby
Valentine was red a day aer the season ended.
Still, Rabbi Kushner believes. He thinks the team that so manypeople around Boston have given up on is worth ghting or.
Tats why he spends so much time going to games, watching
them on V, scouring the box score, and talking about it with
guys like me. I believe thats called aith. And i the good rabbi can
have it in the Red Sox, I can certainly have aith in my amily.
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Author Kevin Walsh, Needham, Mass., 2012
O N E
Weting he Fly,Wheting he Appeie
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K E V I N W A L S H
8
It was just beore sunset on a spectacular late October day in 2012
in Needham, Massachusetts. Te daytime high hit 63 degrees,
about 10 degrees above normal. As the sun ell, its low angle made
the colors o the trees around the trout pond o the Needham
Sportsmans Club pop. Te water was as smooth as glass, capturing
a perect refection o the orange, red, purple, and yellow leaves
that would soon all into the water and sink to the bottom.
As I sat on the tailgate o my white oyota acoma pickup, Iwas thankul or many things in my liemy health and amily
in particular. I have a beautiul wie, Jean, who has blessed me
with two darling, young daughters: eleven-year-old Samantha and
nine-year-old Amanda. I was also thankul that I had a place like
this to come to and thankul or the role that shing plays in my
lie and the lives o my amily members.
Tanksgiving was a month away, and I would join my elderly
ather and two adult brothers on a shing trip o a lietime in the
tributaries o the Great Lakes in Western New York. Four men,
living in our dierent states, gathering together or the rst time
in a long time, and what might be the last time. Much like the sh
that we were going aer, we too were going back to our roots.
Late all is the time when steelhead trout swim out o the Great
Lakes and up the rivers to lay their eggs in the same place where
they were born. Side by side they swim, and side by side they
spawn, spawning an opportunity to bond in an experience as
proound or us as it is or them. As the sh hunker down in pairs
in the channels o the river, we would pair up as partners trying to
catch them. But this trip was not really about shing. It was about
us connecting as men, with shing providing the vehicle.
Beore we got to that stage, I still had a little shing business to
take care o at the Sportsmans Club in Needham. I slipped on my
Orvis vest and careully slid o the back o my truck. I there were
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T H E P E R F E C T C A T C H
9
sh in the ront le corner o the pond, I dont want to let them
know I was coming.
I stepped slowly and gently along the gravel that led up to the
grassy bank lining the ponds edge. I saw a ew risers, so I knew
where to cast. I released the wooly bugger rom where it was
latched in a holding hoop near the bottom o the rod. Te fy was
olive green with red thread wrapped around its neck below a white
head. I I were a sh, I think Id take a bite.
I pulled some slack out o the reel to add line and weight. I
lied the rod tip to two oclock and ficked my right wrist in the
direction o eleven oclock, letting the excess line slide through the
ngers o my le hand. Aer a couple o back and orths, with the
backcast nearly touching the clubhouse porch, I let the line go.
Te fy landed about twenty-ve eet away and slowly sank into
the dark water. I started a slow strip, inching the fy through thewater toward me. No luck.
I lied the fy out o the water and cast again, this time landing
the wooly bugger about two eet to the right. On the second strip
the lime green fy line and the oam strike indicator darted down
and to the le. I lied the rod tip up to the right and elt resistance.
Te unmistakable bounce in the line and the rod tip said sh on.
Not wanting to give the sh any opportunity to slip o the hook,I lied the rod straight up to set the hook deeper into the shs lip.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm my racing heart. I love the
adrenaline rush o the strike and ght, but also the balance it takes
to not horse the sh. More than anything, I try to do less. Ive
lost more sh trying hard instead o trying easy. I held the rod tip
up, knowing that doing so kept tension on the line and made the
sh swim uphill.
Aer a couple o jumps, zigs, and zags, the trout was tuckered
out and ready to be reeled in. I switched the heavier fy line rom
my le hand to my right, pinching it up against the rod with my
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K E V I N W A L S H
1 0
top two ngers while the bottom ngers squeezed the rod handle
into the heel o my hand. Aer a couple o cranks with my le
hand, the twelve-inch rainbow trout had surrendered. I reached
down and plucked it out o the water. Te fy was embedded in the
corner o its mouth. It took a ew wiggles to get it out. Once the
hook was ree, I set the sh ree back in the water. I dont sh or
ood, shing eeds my soul.
Trilled by the catch, I couldnt wait to catch up with my dad
and brothers on the phone, and I was hopeul wed land a bunch
more sh together Tanksgiving week. With that goal in mind I
put my rod back inside the truck and went into the clubhouse to
make a ew calls. I also wanted a beer.
Te clubhouse resembles a log cabin. Its just one room, about
600 square eet in size. Teres a small kitchen with a rerigerator,
sink, and gas stove or cooking. Teres a wood-burning stove orheat, a ew tables and chairs, and lots o pictures on the walls o sh
caught by club members. Nothing ancy. Its just right. Nothing
more, nothing less. Anyone could be comortable here. I put two
dollars in the honor system till, took a can o Heineken out o the
ridge, and cracked it open.
I took a swig o beer while sliding my nger across my iPhone
to unlock the screen. I hit the avorites star to bring up the list onames on speed dial. Bob Walsh is at the top. I touched his name
to start the automatic dialing.
Hello, Kevin, he answered with cheer in his heart, a cordless
phone in one hand and raw materials or building a bamboo fy
rod in the other.
What are you doing Dad? I asked.
Im building my bamboo fy rod or the trip. Ive already built
you boys your own rods with your names etched on the sides.
I dont know that Id ever seen or heard my dad more geeked up
about anything. He was so pumped or the trip. He is a shermans
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T H E P E R F E C T C A T C H
1 1
sherman, but rst and oremost a ather. And he hadnt had his
three adult sons together in ve years. At seventy-three years o
age, he knew he probably didnt have another ve years o good
enough health and stamina to plan another shing trip.
So he took the liberty that comes with age and money. He
booked and paid or the trip beore even asking i his sons could
make it. It was just the kind o positive pressure that made it
happen. I he had said something back in the spring such as,Check your availability or Tanksgiving week, someone
would have wriggled out. No one did. We all understood that
this might be it.
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