The New Alphabet
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Transcript of The New Alphabet
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is for apple, and is for boat,That used to be right, but now
it won't float!Age before beauty is what we
once said,But let's be a bit more realistic
instead.
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Now...The Alphabet
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A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
perhaps car-d-iac?
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D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
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H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
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L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
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P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
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S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
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W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind.
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I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!
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