The New 3Rs in EducationThe New 3Rs in EducationRespect, Responsibility and Respect, Responsibility and

RelationshipsRelationshipsThe True Basics for all Success in LifeThe True Basics for all Success in Life

We Don’t Have To Be EinsteinWe Don’t Have To Be Einstein

To Understand These 2 ThingsTo Understand These 2 Things

• IF YOU CAN’T EXPLAIN IT SIMPLY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND IT WELL ENOUGH

AND

AND AGAIN....AND AGAIN....

• WE CAN’T SOLVE A PROBLEM AT THE SAME LEVEL OF THINKING WE WERE AT WHEN THE PROBLEM WAS CREATED

OLD MODELSOLD MODELS

BiologicalBiological

BehavioralBehavioral

EnvironmentalEnvironmental

Psycho educationalPsycho educational

COMPROMISESCOMPROMISES

• Mr. Mrs. Ms.• Kids Can’t Say Anything They Want• Self-Control Is Taught• The Medicalizing Of Education• Obedience Has Become A Dirt Word• There Are No Excuses• Can You Handle the Truth?• Who Will Parent the Parents?• Life Changing Words From A Father• Fear the Greatest Motivator

LACK OF RANDOM ACCESS LACK OF RANDOM ACCESS MEMORYMEMORY

• SITUATIONAL REACTIVE DISORDER• Occurrences in an individual’s life that he/she has

not had time to rehearse for that lead to an unfavorable response.

• I don’t know what to do! So I will react!!!!!!!!!!!• How do we keep this from happening?• Teachers should teach students how to problem

solve in the following areas that are universal to all students: Relationships, Family issues, Fears and Anxieties, Self-Acceptance issues, Anger problems, Right vs. Wrong, Peer Pressure, and Problems with Authority.

Keys to theKeys to the Foundation of CharacterFoundation of Character

•

•With teenagers - We lead by the power of our relational influence

•and look to help them understand relationships and friendships

•and the application of character in their life.

•From birth to the age of 7 or 8 we work in the tip of the triangle.•Have clear goals, rules and procedures•Build standards and principles into the child, and Teach Self-Control

At a young age adults need to restrain inappropriate behaviors and insist on compliance. We should lead by the power of our authorityChildren enter mental puberty around the age of 9 or 10This is when they begin to think as an adult.

• Between the ages of 9 and 13 behaviors need to be taught that stress respect, and responsibility. When the child understands authority and can self generate these behaviors he/she is now ready to have relational interaction with adults.

• Character and Responsibility needs to be stressed at this age.

•This is the optimal age to teach--------------------------------------- Responsibility

Relationships-Application

• Once compliance is established and authority is understood, we should allow more freedom as we move to the bottom of the triangle

Compliance and Respect

What We Do Now!!!What We Do Now!!!

The Exact Opposite FREEDOM AND CHOICES TO YOUNG CHILDREN – 2-9 TEMPER TANTRUMS, CRYING AND WHINNING. IT IS VERY EASY TO GIVE

IN TO A CRYING CHILD!

NO BOUNDRIES BETWEEN 10-13 YEARS OLD

START SAYING AND DOING WHAT THEY WANT VERY ARGUEMENTATIVE-CONCERN DEVELOPS ON THE PART OF

TEACHERS AND PARENTS REGARDING THE CHILD’S BEHAVIOR

REBELLION, GRADES 9-12, NO SELF DISCIPLINE, OR SELF MOTIVATION

POWER STRUGGLES, NO CHARACTER. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO RESTRAIN THE BEHAVIORS OF A

REBELLIOUS TEENAGER

BRICKS IN THE WALLBRICKS IN THE WALL

Neo-Cortex Higher

Order thinking Limbic System – Mind Will

Emotions

Brain Stem

Bricks in the Wall

All incoming information must pass through the emotions before it can reach the neo-cortex for processing.

As the brain is placed under stress the need for survival becomes greater. It then downshifts into the stem. There are only two ways it can survive ------ FIGHT OR FLIGHT. A person with the FIGHT mentality will develop conduct problems. A person with the FLIGHT mentality develops clinical problems. Conduct problems require respect, Clinical problems require responsibility

Three BehaviorsThree Behaviors that need to be that need to be developed in developed in All ChildrenAll Children

• Respect - Is the child’s behavior violating the rights and privileges of others? Does his/her attitude communicate an ingratitude or disregard for others? (people)

• Responsibility - Are tasks being followed through on? Have I motivated the child to do the job initially by working with him, making it enjoyable and enabling him to sense the achievement for having accomplished the task.

• Compliance - Is the child being respectful to the instruction given from the adult in charged? Does he/she respond correctly to authority? (parents, teachers, employers, law enforcement officials).

TEACHING RESPECTTEACHING RESPECTTHE RELATIONSHIP CONNECTIONTHE RELATIONSHIP CONNECTION

• Begin a praise day and make everyone write down one nice thing about another person. Praise character not achievement.

• Keep promises

• Teach your students what it takes to please you and be aware what causes you to react.

• Be sincere and honest

• Say hello

• Call by name - No nicknames or derogatory remarks

• Offer genuine appreciation

Respect, continuedRespect, continued

• Touching

• Listening

• Attending Events

• 2,3,4,5 X10

Disrespect is really a symptom of a deeper problem going on within a youngster. Anger or guilt is usually at the root. Often teachers are not even aware that the child is angry at them but notice a change in their attitude, and are not sure where it is coming from.

TYPES OF LISTENINGTYPES OF LISTENING

• Ignoring

• Pretend Listening

• Selective Listening

• Attentive Listening

• Empathic Listening

KEYS TO TEACHING RESPONSIBILITYKEYS TO TEACHING RESPONSIBILITYBE PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVEBE PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVE

Get students to focus their attention on their own behavior• AWARENESSand how it affects others. Never, Never ask why did you dothat? Always ask, What did you do? It forces the student to focus on his actions.• DEVELOP A CARING CLIMATEUse the power of your influence - Not the influence of power• GIVE CHOICESGive students limited control.(empowerment) Withoutchoices there is no way for them to be accountable• ASSUME NOTHINGTeach everything - When we give instructions we shouldnever assume they were heard or understood. Teach and re-teach.• AVOID CONFRONTATIONSListen - Acknowledge - Defer• MAKE A PLANPose questions and make the student come up witha resolution to the problem.

COMPLIANCEINSTRUCTION – THERE ARE TWO BASIC METHODS OF INSTRUCTING A CHILD:

BY EXAMPLE OR BY TEACING SPECIFIC INFORMATION. AN ADULT WHO ABRUPTLY CORRECTS A CHILD ASSUMES HE ALWAYS EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATED THE CORRECT INFORMATION.

WARNING – SHOULD BE USED TO DEVELOP EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. IT ALLOWS US TO SEE LIFE FROM THE CHILD’S POINT OF VIEW. IT SHOULD NOT BE USED AS A THREAT, RATHER IT SHOULD BE USED TO DETERMINE IF WE COMMUNICATED THE CORRECT INFORMATION.

CORRECTION –IF WE DO NOT CORRECT INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR BY DEFAULT WE COMMUNICATE AGREEMENT. WE NEED TO EVALUATE OUR MOTIVES FOR CORRECTION CONSIDERING THE THREE BASIC OBJECTIVES: RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY, AND COMPLIANCE