Jan. – Feb. 2016 Issue 1 1

A BI-MONTHLY INSPIRATIONAL MAGAZINE FOR WOMEN

Fashion FocusValentines Day Slay!

The Magazine

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From the Editor..........................Page 3

MLK Day 2016–So Fresh & So Clean………….…….Page 4

Reader Story:How to start working out!........Page 6

Fashion Focus……………………….……Page 8

EditorKimberly McDowell

PresidentAlissa Smalls

Vice PresidentShawn Stewart

The LadiesAtzmayah Bailey

Bwana MackCatrena FieldsChristy EilandDonnica Scott

Javonna FergusenKeshala NewtonMichelle GainesNatasha Givens

Nedra HicksNina Bryant–Hunter

Paige TaylorSherron Davis

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A note from the Editor

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12 Ways You're Holding Yourself Back From Your Best Life (Without Even Realizing It)

Brianna Wiest September 2, 2015 Lifestyle

Every ideal cultural narrative surrounds the same issue: how to live your best life. Today, it's about juggling every aspect with ease, being a multi-tasking, multi-functional, infallibly competent robot, and at the same time a loving and kind and open-minded member of society. The difference between this and what was popular and common through the past decades is that our current idea of a "good life" doesn't really include room for exploration or discovery or failure or any of the other things that aren't just possible, but are necessary. When we concoct ideas and routines and lives that we think are best, we leave out a lot of the details that actually matter. We focus on how things appear rather than how they feel, and confuse their "feeling good" for "being good." We think that the best is how we make ourselves most comfortable and "happy," rather than most fully realized. We forego genuine health — of body and mind — for faster, seemingly more effective alternatives. We can't actually do the hard work in every aspect of our lives because we simply don't have enough energy. Rather than letting ourselves slack where importance doesn't fall, we compensate in feigned and disingenuous ways. Here, all the ways you probably don't realize you're sabotaging your best life (and how to turn it around, ASAP): You Have An Idea Of What Your "Best Life" Should Look Like On The Outside, But Not What It Would Feel Like On The Inside, In The Day-to-Day Most people assume they're unhappy because they have something external, they don't understand that their overall contentment is not casual, it's a manner of perception. So when we go to craft ideas of what our best lives would look like, we focus on what pretty pictures would ease all the internal discomfort, rather than the actual solutions. When You're Uncertain, You Seek Advice From Numerous Friends Feeling uncertain is not a call to source everybody you know for their opinions, that only feeds the problem more. Feeling uncertain is a call to truly listen to what you're trying to say to yourself, not further disconnect from that based on what other people would perceive. You're Constantly Trying To Figure Out What You're Meant To Do, Or Who You're Meant For, And So On Trying to figure out what you're "meant to do" is as effective as trying to identify who "the one" is before you start dating them. It's just what people do when they're so afraid of failing that they're not willing to actually try. When you focus too much on the idea of how things should be, you start losing your concept of how they are. Not everything will be picturesque, and that's not just a fact of life you have to begrudgingly accept, it's a reality that often you'll be grateful for — as happiness is how you create the pieces of a life that feels good to you, not how closely you adhere to ideas and images of life that other people desire. You Don't Take Enough Alone Time Which effectively means your mind is constantly bogged down with other people's thoughts and energies. You often end up feeling like nothing more than just the reflection/compilation of all the roles you play for other people, because you've never had to genuinely stand "alone." Also: people who are afraid of taking a healthy amount of alone time don't want to hear what they have to say to themselves, hence adopting everyone else's thoughts instead. You Refuse To Rewrite The Rules Your Parents Or Society Put In Your Head You know they don't apply, or you know they aren't actually helpful, but rather than understand that you can re-write the terms and conditions of your existence, you just follow along with what was implanted in you out of an obligation to others that you place above an obligation to yourself. You're Mindlessly Engaging With People Who Infuriate You And You Can't Figure Out Why It's usually what happens when you don't feel secure enough to express how you really feel. You continue to engage with them because you care about them or you have to, but you've yet to navigate your own operating system to the point that you can calmly and effectively communicate what you need to say in a way they'll be receptive to. You Operate On A Dogma You Don't Actually Agree With Or Believe In It's just what you've "assumed" to be true because everybody else seems to believe it is. The word believe consists of "be" and "live." If you don't feel comfortable (or you don't) choose to "be" and "live" whatever it is you claim to take a stake in believing in, you probably don't buy it as much as you think you do, you just like what you assume it can do for your and/or an image you like to hold of yourself. You're In Love With Outcomes, Not Processes When you imagine your dream life, it consists of how things look, rather than the day-to-day functions and responsibilities it takes to get them that way. The only way to create the life you want is to fall in love with the process, the every day. The main reason people don't do this is because it often requires rethinking what you truly value/desire, which means you have to let go of the false and grandiose idea of what your life could be that is in proportion to how insecure or helpless or judged you feel as it is. You Do Things Out Of Obligation And Confuse It For "Love" True love is about sacrifice that doesn't feel like sacrifice. When you love someone truly, your desires or opinions or preferences may not always come first, but it won't feel like this taxing, negative, almost unbearable duty. You'll be happy to give it at times. This is where people get confused. They show up to places and remain friends with people they don't want to be associated with because of obligation, and fail to realize that in maintaining what's fake and disingenuous under the guise of obligation and love, they're keeping themselves from ever really finding it.

MLK Day 2016

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MLK Day 2016

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1 Focus on What You Love About You Now.

People often focus on their fitness goals—a certain dress size, weight, or athletic achievement, for instance—without appreciating

where their bodies are now, says Jonny Straws, a certified personal trainer based in Orange County, Calif. Rather than starting your

fitness and health journey obsessing about so-called “problem areas,” begin from a positive perspective. Write a list that includes at

least “Five things I really like about myself right now,” Straws suggests. “It’s important that people love themselves now for who they

are and not for what they want to become, because sometimes they’ll reach their goal and still not appreciate themselves when they’re

at their finish line,” he says.

2 Take Some Selfies.

In order to accurately track your progress, it’s helpful to identify your starting point and then define your goal. Straws suggests taking

measurements of your body and some photos so you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come. Throw on a sports bra and shorts (or a

bathing suit or whatever you feel comfortable using), then take a video with your smart phone to capture your body from all angles.

You can turn the video into still photos by taking screen shots. Do this every two to four weeks to track your progress, Straws says.

You might also want use a tape measure and track measurements in your biceps, waist, hips, bust, and thigh areas so you can see

you’re losing inches, even on weeks when it seems the scale hasn’t budged.

3 Start Small.

So you haven’t lifted a weight since the week before Halloween? Give yourself a break. “People want to go back to where they were

with their fitness a few months ago, but they can’t,” says Liz Josefsberg, CPT, a weight loss expert who worked several years as the

director of brand advocacy for Weight Watchers. The first week you’re easing back into exercising, start small. Know that any

movement is good movement. Commit to doing 10 minutes of an exercise video or walking for exercise three days this week. “This will

help you establish behaviors and create the habit you want to have in place,” she says.

4 Make One Change at a Time.

The first week you intend to exercise, look ahead at your schedule and establish modest changes to your routine. On Sunday night,

commit to getting your exercise clothes out for the next day and then setting your alarm to wake up 30 minutes earlier on Monday.

“Set the bar low with new behavior modifications in order to make changes that’ll last,” says Josefsberg. She doesn’t even suggest

exercising that first Monday. Just prep the night before and wake up earlier. Then on Tuesday morning, slip on those exercise clothes

and do 10 minutes of one exercise DVD, suggests Josefsberg. Write down five ways you are going to be healthy today, Straws says:

“Written words are powerful!” Your daily success list could include things like not drinking soda, eating more vegetables, doing 30

minutes of walking today, taking the stairs in your office once a day, and drinking more water. Keep them small and achievable so you’ll

be motivated by your daily victories.

5 Plan Out Your Mornings.

Starting a morning workout routine is just like establishing any other new habit: It requires some plain-old hard work and dedication.

Try these tips from Josefsberg to make it stick: Prep your coffeemaker to go off tomorrow morning when you wake up, pack your lunch

the night before or ask your partner to help out with making lunches for the family, decide which workout DVD or routine you’re going

to do the next morning, lay out the work clothes you’ll wear and get them ready the evening before, and consider buying dry shampoo

so you can save time in the shower before you start your workday. Look at each week ahead of time and plan exercise accordingly. If

you have an early-morning meeting, be realistic and understand that you probably won’t work out that day. Advance prepping and

planning can eliminate decisions about your workout, clothes, or what you’re eating that day—freeing up time to actually exercise.6

How to Start Working Out

(If You Basically Haven’t Moved Since Halloween)

By Diana Kelly

If you’ve pretty much been planted in the couch cushions since that candy binge in October all the way through New Year’s Eve cocktails, here’s how

to start exercising and establish a fitness routine you’ll actually stick with. If the only workout you’ve done over the past few weeks is beating

yourself up for being lazy, it’s time to forgive and move on. We asked weight loss experts and personal trainers for their best advice on how to start

exercising again after a lull. Here’s how to get up, establish a fitness routine, and stay motivated long past waning New Year’s resolutions.

6 Overcome Your Fear of the Gym.

The gym can be an intimidating place for many of us, and if you’re overweight, obese, or just plain inexperienced you might be afraid that people

are staring or judging you. “Most of the time, everyone at the gym is focusing on themselves, even the fittest, most attractive person you’ll

come across,” Straws says. Start with cardio machines to build up your comfort level, or bring some weights to a quiet area of the gym or an

empty studio to start training by yourself, he suggests. You could also ask the personal trainers at the gym for help getting set up on certain

equipment to make sure you’re using it properly.

7Expect to Fall.

Here’s the reality of any journey, whether it’s business, relationships, diet, or fitness—you’re going to make mistakes and stumble along the

way. There will be times when life will get crazy and you’ll temporarily be derailed, says Straws. “Everyone falls. It’s part of the experience and

you should expect it. But the difference between failing on a diet or fitness routine and succeeding is that you pick yourself up from the fall and

keep going, or you use it as an excuse to quit,” he says. Just like you would if you were faced with an issue in the workplace, identify the

problem and take action to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

8 Be Ready for Week Three.

Between week three and week four is the classic time when people quit their New Year’s resolutions, says Josefsberg. “Start this journey

knowing you’re going to be tempted to drop your routine during that ‘red flag’ time and reward yourself so you’ll be inspired to keep going,” she

says. Buy a new workout outfit, begin a new fitness DVD, try a new class at your gym, download some new songs, buy new shoes, or reward

yourself with a massage or mani/pedi pampering session. “Get through that scary time when your motivation starts to wane and you’ll come

out on the other side with your behaviors even more ingrained in those healthy habits,” Josefsberg says.

9 Look Beyond Weight Loss.

“I would suggest divorcing the terms ‘weight loss’ and ‘exercise’ from one another,” says Josefsberg. Exercise for the health benefits that

aren’t related to weight loss, like feeling more energized, happier, calmer, and experiencing better sleep. “I think it can become punishing when

you think of exercise in terms of weight loss, especially when you’re starting out,” says Josefsberg.

When you don’t feel like exercising, remind yourself of how good you’ll feel during or after exercise, says Sydney-based exercise physiologist

Bill Sukala. “If you can begin to associate being active with pleasure and how good you feel as a result of it, you’ll be more inclined to stick to

your exercise routine,” he says.

10 Find Something You Can Stick With.

Fitness experts and doctors alike often say the “best exercise” is the one you enjoy and will keep doing. If you hate boot camp workouts or can’t

see yourself making a weekly commitment to yoga, move on to something you’ll look forward to showing up for. That workout cou ld be a dance

class, Spinning, ballet-inspired barre workouts, or walking with friends. You want to make this experience as pleasant as possible. “Take an

inventory of what needs to happen in your life to make this time that you’re starting an exercise program very, very different from the last

time you tried and quit,” says Josefsberg.

11 Make New Habits.

If you can nail down a few fitness habits—whether that’s getting up a few mornings a week or even showing up to the gym when you don’t feel

like it—you’re more likely to be successful. “Habit is 75 percent of the challenge with exercise,” says Sukala. Once your mental game is on point

and established, the physical aspect of following through with your intentions will be easier, he says.

12 Do It for Yourself.

“If you made a promise to anyone else in your life—your husband, child, boss, or friend—you would do stick to it, but because it’s you and

because you can somehow always negotiate with yourself, you might not stick to your commitment,” says Josefsberg. So if you h it snooze a few

times one morning and skipped your early workout, find time to get those 30 minutes in later in the day. “What I see is that when someone slips

up once, that becomes the excuse not to do the exercise at all,” says Josefsberg. “Figure out where you’re going to put it in the schedule… later

in the week or that day.” This is one of the most common problems Josefsberg sees her clients make. Treat the fitness and hea lth

commitments you make for yourself like you would your job, family, and friendships. You wouldn’t let important people in your life who are

counting on you down, so why do it to yourself?

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Courtesy of

One to grow on…

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Last minute giggles…