The Lament of Lust and Love

8/12/2019 The Lament of Lust and Love

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The Lament of Lust and Love

Written by Miles O. Peterson

Pictures by Steven Mosley



Marie



Good Service

Holding my phone wishing it were you,So I can press the right buttons to get through to you.

A message of how I feel girl,Giving you that good service,Five bars to make you Sprint and let you know

You earned this.No model can touch your style,I’ll hold onto you tight,

Texting and calling so you can receiveIn coming all night.I don’t mean to be rude Or rushing to be on your peak minutes,I can surely wait past 9So there aren’t any limits

To how long we consume And exchange sweet sentiments.I wanna eat you like a deliciousCrumb Entenmann’s,But I can tell it’s still earlyBefore we can meet.Until then I’ll keep downloading apps So I can be the best

Bump you ever had, And you don’t have to be mad Cause I’ma wanna plug you in

And put a ring on you.So we can start a family plan And I’ll always be “in” to you.



Elastic

I know it’s wrong But thinking about usSeems to be like breathing:I can’t seem to stop. Maybe it’s less passionate

And more of an irritation, An unquenchable itchI scratch and scratch.

Trying to relieve myself of These endless fantasies,No matter what I doI can’t seem to get away. Not sure, but why now?

We seem to be such a bad thing.I still love you, butI wish these thoughts were goneOut of my head

And maybe my heartNo…that’s too drastic.

We bounce back like elastic Whenever a slip falls our way.Hopefully, too many pulls

And stretches Won’t leave us out of shape. Although, things seem a little limp.



Run Away

I’m ready to run away with you. Let go of this entire world

And fly away with you.Hit the roadHit the sky

Hit the seaBe alone with you until all I seeIs you and the stars,Gazing into your eyes that reflect

All our God has created.Hold my hand as I hold yours,Let’s use the keys and lock the doors. Leaving it all behindLeaving it all behindEmbracing this unityFar from business and busyness,I’m ready to run away with you. Run far far away,Praying for wings so we can take off,Because I just want you,I just want you with me.



One Day It’ll Be Right

I think I write love songs because I want you near.Feeling your affection overwhelming me is

A Sweet ecstasy that I can only dream about,Because every turn we seem to make leads toNo outlet,

A dead end, A place where our tires just spin, And I’m sick of wasting gas and inhaling These toxic fumes.It’s ludicrous, it’s suicide. I mean doing the same thing expecting change

Just makes me gnash my teeth and need Invisalign.I can’t stop writing these songs about you though.

Wishing and hoping one day, we can get it right,One day we can be together and it’ll just be right.



I Hope You Don’t Mind

I hope you don’t mind When I wrap my arms around you,Pull you close to me,Smell your air, and steal your body heat.I hope you don’t mind

When I stare into your eyes And gaze and gazeHoping to find out what’s on your mind.

Trying to be a mind reader is not that easy.I hope you don’t mind When it’s difficult to be patient And I desire youSo I lead us down a slippery slope That I secretly don’t regret. I hope you don’t mind

That this wait drives me crazy too.I might seem together,

Well knitted and fitted,But in private I unravel with this pen:Scribbling thoughts.I hope you don’t mind I’m missing you always

And I’m horrible at letting you know That you’re always on my mind. I hope you keep me there,

And are longing for that day too.I hope it’ll come very soon So we can spend more of this time

Together instead of dreaming.



Feel

Sometimes I wonder why God made the body To feel so good. At times, everything feels so good That I can lie in bed andRoll and stretch

Breathe and curl And feel an uncontrollable ecstasyFlow through my nerves.Every sensory follicle on my flesh tinglesLetting me know this is good.I’m just lying in bed though,

Alone, hands to my side Wondering and dreaming and wishing That I wasn’t, Because something that feels so goodShouldn’t be enjoyed alone,Because something that feels so goodCan’t be experienced by me alone. I’m sure she feels the same

When she lies in bedNext to me or even alone,She probably asks the same question“Why would you make me this way?” Having to struggle with temptation from

The sheets that layGently across my skin,Driving me crazy wishing it was

A person tempted by the same sin. At least then, it wouldn’t seem so bad. At least then, it wouldn’t seem so mad. I’m glad though for this skin For this flesh and all I feel within,Every rush and tingle and euphoric crave,Because at some point I’ll enjoy what you’ve made In a way that’s explained without words. At that time I won’t wonder anymoreI’ll be thankful for what you’ve made.



Common Sense

I never thought I’d lose my taste, Or forget how things smell.I never thought I could lose my sight,

And wonder how things feel. And now it seems your voice is

Fading away, leaving me with nothing.But, this love for you hasn’t given way, It must mean it’s more than common sense.



Shine On

The rays from the sun are too brightForcing me to cover my eyes

And shrink away.I’m trying to keep myself fromGetting burned again.

Spending too much timeIn the light and warmth,Feels good and wonderful,But all you’re left with is burns.

Afraid to be in this new light,Still recovering, hoping my sunscreenDoesn’t run away

As I sweat with uncertainty. When I’m standing in these rays, Bright and bold,Pushing UV so much it’s messing

With my mind. Thinking this UV is you and me,

But my doubts think otherwise.I could be wrong,Could be feeling a little overwhelmed And I’m just on the brink of heat stroke. I’m trying to shrink away,

Because I’m not ready for tans Or potentially getting burned.So just, give me an umbrella and a moment,

And when things are good in myHeart and mind,Maybe I’ll step back out into your glow. Hoping that you won’t get tired of waiting

And decide to shine somewhere else.I must remember even the sun takes

Turns and moves around the world.Unless God’s got a special plan For you to stand still and shine on me.



JEM



I Can’t Lie

I can’t lie I want to hold you again.I want to embrace your flesh

And kiss your body.I want to hear your breath quicken And know your enjoying yourself.

I can’t lie I want to see you In secret again

And feel the embarrassment and fearOf “what if we get caught?” But, I know it doesn’t matter

Because it’s too late. We’re so far gone

It feels like time has stopped.I want to feel your legs,I want to feel your lips,

I want to feel your breast, And feel you on me.

I can’t lie I won’t lie

I wish you would text me Just so, I know you didn’t forget me

Because I didn’t forget you.

Yet,I know I’d have to run from you,I’d have to forsake that crave

To feel your smile against my lips, To feel that your lips have

Curled up and I can feel your happiness.I’d have to forsake my desire To see you standing there

Dressed in blue

Ready to



If we went furtherHear one of us say ‘I love you.’

Yet,I know it wasn’t close to love,

But the maxims of lust.I’d have to forsake everything

About that idea And I will

But… Every time I drive near your street

To make that right turnI’ll remember.

I can’t lie.



Burn

BurnBurnBurn

I heard it’s better to burn And let this beast in me turn to ashes.

I’m asking and asking For the flames to be cut back,

But the pain is necessary in fact. Waiting for the day of rest for my soulGroaning in expectation, I’ma explode.

Tapping out SOS in Morse code.I heard it’s better to burn

And let this beast in me turn to ashes. Where’s my wife? Where’s my queen?

God help me to not scream while These trials by fire try this heart of mine, Try this faith you have given me to soar.

Battle bruises, burns of my choosing,I want to win, but I feel like losing.

Burn burn burnBurn burn burn

Turn the flames upCause my lust has got to burn.



Stay With You

I wish I could stay with you.Find out how you are behind doors,

See what posters and pictures You hang on your walls,

And find out what music you like.

I wish I could stay with you And spend time finding out

What made you pick those sheets, Those curtains, that rug,

Those chairs,See what kind of drinks

You offer to your guest.I wish,

I could stay with you just one night Away from rules and expectations,

Just enjoying your company,Opening myself up to youSo you could see a little bit

Behind my door.I wish I could stay with you

Just one time. We wouldn’t have to do anything .Fall asleep watching a flick or two,It would be our little rendezvous,Nothing extravagant or too exotic

Just two souls in communion. A social union of thoughts,

Ideas and opinions, And if necessary

Union of spirit, soul, and flesh.But, really…

I wish I could stay with you.



TroubleIf I don’t shut my mouth I’ll get myself in trouble.

From my thoughts to my lips,From my brains to my hands,

I’m plotting some devious behavior That I’m sure will get me in trouble.I’m trying to tiptoe into Forbidden

And make my way into Make

Believe, When I shouldn’t.

I have more than enough,Chasing me,Desiring me,

But, my yapping won’t stop.Can’t hold this tongue to keep quiet,

Just shut up!Stop thinking you can be so smooth.

Stop thinking they feel like you.Stop dwelling in Never Land

And comeback home.I don’t want trouble.

I don’t want problems.Even though you tempt me,

I gotta defend me.Defend this heart, And this temple,

From myself since I’m devilish

And planning a way to get all Jacked up.

Juiced up on pride and pain, A little lust will make me vain.

A monster I don’t want to fight It’s super strong like Bane.

Stupid troubleStupid lips

Stupid thoughts

God help me



This Forbidden

I never thought I would desire something so foreign.Completely different from what I normally feel,

What I’m normally into, What usually grabs my attention.

If I told someone, my brother or sister,

How I feel about youI don’t think I’d get any approval.

Even now, writing this feels so wrong.Something about that veil and barrier

That separates you and me,In more than one way,

Makes my heart and beast lust for you more. The fact that you’re hidden and set aside

From the world intrigues me.Knowing if I was to make a move

It would be suicide.Stepping on a line that calls for rebellion,

Rebellion in your hands and in mine. There wouldn’t be a way for us to meet

Halfway without someone dying:Spiritually or physically, both are devastating.

This forbidden lust This forbidden love This forbidden lustPains me it’s rough

I never thought you would grab my heartI’m probably lying though,

Because whenever we’re together I’m hoping .

I’m hoping you feel like me.

Wondering if I think hard enough



You’ll feel my rhythm, And maybe your heart will

Beat in sync with mineSo we could see dreams come true.

I got a feeling when we lock eyes you canSee more than my hazel pupils,

Because I’m looking passed your Brown eyes and brown skin

Trying to see how I can make Your heart flutter and your breath stop.

Trying to find the right bait so I canLure you away into my playground.

Not to use or abuse you,But bring you delight.

Something that’ll make you second guess

And bite. Although it’s all trouble from the inception

Of this thought,Because my commitment to anotherMakes this forbidden and an error.Hurting my love by following lust

Is such a terror.So, I pray that God breaks this flame

I got for you.

Please LORD drench it with a flood To wash away the glue

That we’ve spread between us By spending quality time

And picking each other’s mind. If you don’t bring the rain Jesus

I’m sure this fire will rage,Making me harsh,

Bitter, And rough to my commitment



And more lured by this forbidden. This forbidden lust This forbidden love This forbidden lust

I’ve had enough.



Secret Song

I swear whenever we meet you’re more beautiful.My heart grows fonder, but I stay cool

Making sure my secrets never leak.I g ot a muzzle on my heart so it won’t speak .Hoping at some point these feelings will die

Because I know it’s all really a waste of time.I dream though if things were bizarre

In a different world where this love is hallowed,Set a part to enjoy between beats,

Riding on the rhythm that takes a seat And keeps the mojo flowing, flowing.

The show keeps going our souls are growingFingers interlocked, hand holding.

I’d meet your parents, and you meet mine,

We’d have nice dates, sipping on wine.I’d want to be with you like all the time

Since whenever we’re together I always smile ,But, I wake up and reality is foul.

Heart breaking to know that you can never know,

You’ll only see on the stage this orchestrated show That I pray comes to an end,Swiftly and doesn’t come again

Because a broken heart is hard to mend. You’re not the only one that this is for,

You just happened to be the best triggerFor this loaded round to slide out the chamber.

If anyone wanted to, just push the fader And hear the secret song playing all along,Synced up right with this ticking time bomb.

Waiting for you to clip the right wires and let this explode.Fiery passion that paints reds and glowing gold

But, I’m blue singing this songCleaving to the Lord’s truth to carry on.

This tragedy of a nice guy feels so wrong. The wheels will turn and I’ll slide like pong ,

Basic and boring but captivating to some,If I ever told you my heart, we’d be done.



Stay Cool

I’m trying to keep my mind off her hips,

And keep my eyes off her lips,Because her heart is what I really want.

I gotta stay cool, man, play it cool; All I gotta do is say wasup.



Burden

Buying my life with 1s and 0sSeems to be more than enough

To make things harder. To make things worse than they are,

And I wonder how far,

How far can I carry this burden?Keep carrying these thoughts

Thinking, questioning, askingHow will I keep up with the pace?

How will I keep up with the crowd? When I know it won’t last; Shinny, hip, and flammable,Because in the end it’ll fade,

Fade away and it won’t matter at all.

Yet, I can’t get this lust and envy out Of my heart or out of my mind.



Stop

StopDon’t look

StopDon’t mak e eye contact

Stop dreaming

Stop trying to imagineSomething that doesn’t need to be

Let her reflection fade awayKeep your eyes straight

StopDon’t look

StopDon’t dream

Close your eyes and remember

Flee youthful lustStop adoring

Stop dreamingClose your eyes and drift

Deep into the musicLet these headphones squeeze your mind

Squeeze those thoughts outStop dreaming

Stop staring Just stop



RENEE



Burning Bridges

I’m glad that this bridge is burning Throwing kerosene into the mix

So the process get’s along a little quick Because my heart is far too sick

To deal with these secrets any longerI’m tired of fantasies, lies, and an alternateUniverses that led me to be haunted

By your faceBy your grace

Your foolishness and loving fun demeanorIf I explain more I might become meaner And let more words slide across the page

Can’t have that though

Can’t feed more into something like a parasite I’ve found the problem and I’m making the site

CloverfieldDestruction to save the world

Sending the Avengers to save me from this girlBut I’m glad it’s fizzling out

Glad the last spark is growing cold And the glow is fading away

Turning to ashes that I’m hoping blow in the wind

And are forgotten so I can move away from this sin Thankful the Lord forgives my failed tests

Remembering I’m just flesh Who was twitter pated with the wrong one

Oh well, that’s how all love songs begun How every story was spun

And how every war in Troy was done A heart throb, a pretty face

Pearly whites and a derriere You can see from spaceOr maybe just a crush

That leaves the dude crushed



Notice Me

Would you notice meIf I smiled at you brightly?

Would you notice meIf I listened to you intently?

Would you notice me

If I loved you from a far? Would you notice me

If I came to your rescue? Would you notice me

If I cared for your wounds? Would you notice me

If you broke my heart? Would you notice me

If I fought for your love?

Would you notice meIf I stood with you through it all?

Would you notice meIf I was there to pick you up from a fall?

Doesn’t seem that way .Doesn’t seem like you noticed at all.

Seems like I’m invisible And all of my love was a waste.

So, I wonder Would you notice me

When I don’t return your calls? Would you notice me

When I ignore your presence? Would you notice me

When I pull away from you? Would you notice me

If I acted like I didn’t notice you?

Would you notice then?



Won’t matter, because it’s too late in the end.



Wasting Time

I must be wasting my time.Don’t know why I didn’t see this before,

But I’m pouring into something that’s more Of a hassle; like a pail with a slow leak.

Everything I’m trying is just hitting the floor Yet, I’m going back and forth To my hearts well trying to give

All that’s deep down inside of me. I must be wasting my time

Being foolish and ignorant,Ignoring warning signs. Thoughts and feelings.

I haven’t felt this bad since I got drunk .

At least that was fun. This just hurts and makes me sick Angry, bitter, fighting resentment

Trying to convince myself to find contentmentSomewhere in these past years of labor.

I can’t blame you And I won’t, but

I must be wasting my time.I’m not looking for a refund

Or some compensation,Because there was happiness, There was pleasure and joy,

But now, I can’t see it and it sucks.I’m w alking in the dark.

If things can get better, I hope they do,But right now I can’t see it through.I don’t want to waste anymore time.

I don’t want any more pain

Or anymore heart breaks.

No more falls and acts of disobedienceI just want to be happy

I just want to be rightI just want to spend my time

On a positive investmentNot a gamble.



Imperfect

It’s easier to write and tell lies Instead of thinking of ways

To end my life.

Broken hearts lead to suicide And I’ve thought about dying

More than you think.I’m sorry for being imperfect,

I can’t read minds and emotions Make me weird.

I wish I could do better, butI’ll keep hiding tears.

Walking away feeling cold

Because awkward moments get old.I wish it was easier than

Having to stopUnder street lights and let my Thoughts flow from this pen

But, if I don’t let the pressure within Come out

I’m sure blood will decide to run.Lord, help me.

I’m sorry for being imperfect.Maybe next time I’ll kiss you

Good night and hold you in my armsInstead of driving off thinking

Of how I will harmMyself for being me.

Imperfect little meImperfect is all of me

I’m sorry .



Cold

I wonder if stress can killPowerful and painful like a heart attack

It’s feeling like I’m fading to black Laying on my back being crushed

By enough weight to change my soul

I know it’s my fault, but why are you so cold? Yesterday feels far away and tomorrow is John Doe.

I’m stuck with Today with no place to go Trapped so tight I need the Jaws of Life to know

My sorrow from this self-inflicted showOf cuts and bruises

No matter how I look at it I’m losing Struggling with choosing right and right

Good versus good and all of it could

Make tomorrow brighter or something on fire That’s burning away to ashes and dust

And you must know this isn’t easy Trying to get back to the yellow brick road

Leading down a path we both go on Journeying to the emerald city to get our wish

I know I was a scarecrow lacking brains A cowardly lion and a heartless tin man

But maybe you can click your heels And we can head back home

Any place where it isn’t so cold



Severed Lines

It feels like my heart is no longer in it.I can’t tell if she can read it on my face,

I hope not because it wouldn’t help.Struggling to resuscitate something dying,

I’m trying , I really am no lying.

Praying for wisdom, grace, and love Wanting things to be better for us,

But I think my heart checked out.My thoughts are trying to get it together,

Trying to get it all lined up,But there’s an issue somewhere on the line

And the message is getting lost.I hope this won’t last forever.

Having my heart and mind severed

From one another is like walking blind. When you’re trying to love

I need it to be altogether, Altogether and right,

Because feeling this way just ain’t right.



Uncertainty

The past seems present on these aged pages, Trying to understand where all of this came fromLooking for answers in the old places of my mind

That I've archived and put away to hide. All of this is difficult to deal with. I want answers,

But hearing clearly is more of a challenge than I thought. You're fighting for something I thought we had lost

seeing your struggle makes me question the cost

of what to do next in all of this. Your heart and smile I surely miss, but

I'm still not sure if it's really for us.Is it really His will for us to be?

I guess we'll ride it till the end of the line And find out really what's the divine

Plan for our hearts and hands to play.Entangled together or waving farewells,

Whatever it is I just pray it tells

of His glorious plan for our lives now and tomorrow, Joy or sorrow, I'm still not sure.Please, Lord help us to the core.

Get to the heart of it, the meat of the beast And do what you must so that we have peace.

No longer being tossed to and fro by winds of doubtBut, resting in truth that we're on the right route.



Sad Tales

The bottom of this bottle is looking good to me;Seeing distorted through glass is likely

The clearest I’ve seen since it’s all happened. A tragedy in my hand as the ship sinks

With many tears, you would think, but I’m lacking .

Even though my heart is broken and still cracking Whose fault was it? I can’t really tell,

But every tale told I’m the one who yelled,Cried wolf, and made this fairy tale fail.

Now with regrets I’m trying to say farewell.Hoist up my sails and catch a brisk gust

Cause I can’t stay here anymore and trust That things will work out right for you and I.

Wearing a smile would only be a lie

On display for all to witness and experienceNot knowing the pain from every remembrance.



Remorse

I’m sorry , The pain of my decision is

Starting to kick in.I knew it would be hard,

But that doesn’t mean I was ready.

Ready to deal with losing you, And I won’t be selfish and say you aren’t hurting.

I’d be surprised, but I could be wrong. I’m sorry things turned out this way.

I’m sorry we don’t talk, We don’t see each other,

And that we’ve grown apart. After years of bonding

This has cut the line and forced

A canyon between us.I’m still believing this was right.

Still believing that it’ll all work for good To those who love Him

And follow His heart.I’m counting the days before things

Will change. When maybe I can move on And start making a new way

A new path and a new life.Instead of wishing tears would

Come when I realize how sorry I am.



Ghosts

Standing there I look to my rightRemembering her is like seeing a ghost

Just a phantom or outlineOf what I use to love

Seeing her naked body

As she looked at mine There was no shame

There was no fear Just peace and joy

Lust mixed with love And excitement that we had gotten use to

But now I can’t seem to get use to Her not being thereOr being anywhere

Thoughts about this ghost justRemind me of how alone I am

Standing there naked Vulnerable weak and fragile

Remembering the pain and the separationI try not to look that way anymore

I try not to believe in ghosts



Unicorn

You are my unicorn, You are my joy,

You are my fable,Because no one would believe that we met.

No one could imagine the mysticalUnion we experienced

As the night crept around us. A mysterious being as yourself

Gracing a mere mortal With your presence.

I would be called crazyFor speaking these tales,

These testimonies I've gathered

From what many see to be an allusive fox:Sly, cunning,Exotic, and transcendent.


You are my dreamthat I never knew existed.

You startled me awake

And drew me into Slumberland Where magic became our reality

And unsure moves became our playground.Exposing me to another side

Of what was already hidden to most.Overwhelmed by the beauty I saw

And now I try to hold onto fleeting times That will never come again.

But, I can cherish the moments

we were one, my friend.


You are my ZenithMy burning star pressed against the black sky.

You are my wishful thinking

And gallant mirage, Where eternity bends for me to see A glimpse of the heavenlies.

Broken by my despising heart,cuts from our crossing will always be deep,

But I have no regrets from it all While I travel Repentance after another fall.

You are my Unicorn, You are my joy,

You are my harmony.

The Lament of Lust and Love

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