The eyes WHAT DOES WINKING MEAN have it - Robin · PDF fileman winking at a woman he...
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NJJN STYLE 2007 37 by Robin Friedman It can be flirty. Friendly. Sexy. A signal. An inside joke. Or simply a way to say hello with your eyes. And here’s something you probably don’t know. It’s believed to be a tribute to Gandalf. Winking, defined by Webster’s as “to shut one eye briefly,”means many things to many people. Deriving from the Old English, win- cian, it’s thought to originate in European tradition. It was associated with the Nordic god, Odin, a wizard and model for Gandalf of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings books. Odin was mysterious, unpredictable, and misunderstood. His humor was sub- tle, ironic, and…misunderstood. Odin only had one eye. So, naturally, when trying to convey Odin’s kind of humor, closing one eye conveys the message. Or you can dispense with myths and simply subscribe to today’s conventional wisdom that winking is a sign of mutual understanding between two people. Winker and winkee typically use the ges- ture to imply private insight of a public situation. Closing one eye suggests the secret is aimed only at the person being looked at; keeping one eye open means the rest of the world is the backdrop for this shared moment. Of course, much of the meaning behind a wink depends greatly on the winker and winkee themselves. Winking among close friends and family members involves harmless fun, definitely falling under the cat- egory of private insight/inside joke/mutual understanding. But winking to a total stranger — or more bluntly, a man winking at a woman he doesn’t know — invites a whole other set of unsubtle assumptions. So, assuming inquiring ladies want to know, what does that innuendo-a- licious wink from him mean? A recent on-line poll on the topic gar- nered these suggestions from its male respondents: “I like!” “This is your cue, baby.” “You’ve caught my eye.” “I’m interested.” “Hi!” “Can I talk to you?” “Smile for me, sweetheart.” “Want to take the next step?” Since a wink is a definite message — without the cognizance of others and according to an already understood code — it can also have a highly complex suc- cess-versus-failure rate. After all, a wink is a failure if its intended recipient does not see it; or sees it but doesn’t know or forgets the code; or misconstrues it; or disobeys or disbe- lieves it; or if anyone else spots it. In other words, winking is risky busi- ness. It can have a wrong time, wrong place, and most definitely, a wrong recip- ient. In the hierarchy of unspoken com- munication, it is one dicey deed, indeed. Numerous studies have shown high- er-order mammals (read: chimps) inter- pret emotions by paying close attention to facial expressions. Granted, humans do this best, but when a chimp laughs, you know it, right? Social species must learn this art to survive. After all, mistaking Grand Poobah Chimp’s angry face for a happy face can result in an unexpected injury to the brain. Scientists believe most human soci- eties exhibit all the same facial expres- sions — happy, sad, surprised, angry. In one study, for instance, scientists showed photographs depicting facial expressions to a remote tribe with no contact to the outside world and, astonishingly, members of the tribe read every facial expression correctly. Was there a “Smile for me, sweetheart” in there some- where? You’ll have to wait for the sequel on that one. Wink, wink. WHAT DOES WINKING MEAN ? A man winking at a woman he doesn’t know invites a whole other set of unsubtle assumptions. The eyes have it S
Transcript of The eyes WHAT DOES WINKING MEAN have it - Robin · PDF fileman winking at a woman he...
NJJN SSTTYYLLEE 2007 37
by Robin Friedman
It can be flirty.Friendly.Sexy.A signal.An inside joke.Or simply a way to say hello with
your eyes.And here’s something you probably
don’t know. It’s believed to be a tribute toGandalf.
Winking, defined by Webster’s as “to
shut one eye briefly,” means many thingsto many people.
Deriving from the Old English, win-cian, it’s thought to originate inEuropean tradition. It was associatedwith the Nordic god, Odin, a wizard andmodel for Gandalf of J.R.R. Tolkien’sLord of the Rings books.
Odin was mysterious, unpredictable,and misunderstood. His humor was sub-tle, ironic, and…misunderstood.
Odin only had one eye.So, naturally, when trying to convey
Odin’s kind of humor, closing one eyeconveys the message.
Or you can dispense with myths andsimply subscribe to today’s conventionalwisdom that winking is a sign of mutualunderstanding between two people.Winker and winkee typically use the ges-ture to imply private insight of a publicsituation. Closing one eye suggests thesecret is aimed only at the person beinglooked at; keeping one eye open meansthe rest of the world is the backdropfor this shared moment.
Of course, much of the meaningbehind a wink depends greatly onthe winker and winkee themselves.
Winking among close friends andfamily members involves harmlessfun, definitely falling under the cat-egory of private insight/insidejoke/mutual understanding.
But winking to a totalstranger — or more bluntly, a
man winking at a woman he doesn’tknow — invites a whole other set ofunsubtle assumptions.
So, assuming inquiring ladies want toknow, what does that innuendo-a-licious wink from him mean?
A recent on-line poll on the topic gar-nered these suggestions from its malerespondents:
“I like!”“This is your cue, baby.”“You’ve caught my eye.”“I’m interested.”“Hi!”“Can I talk to you?”“Smile for me, sweetheart.”“Want to take the next step?”
Since a wink is a definite message —without the cognizance of others andaccording to an already understood code— it can also have a highly complex suc-cess-versus-failure rate.
After all, a wink is a failure if its
intended recipient does not see it; or seesit but doesn’t know or forgets the code;or misconstrues it; or disobeys or disbe-lieves it; or if anyone else spots it.
In other words, winking is risky busi-ness. It can have a wrong time, wrongplace, and most definitely, a wrong recip-ient.
In the hierarchy of unspoken com-munication, it is one dicey deed, indeed.
Numerous studies have shown high-er-order mammals (read: chimps) inter-pret emotions by paying close attentionto facial expressions. Granted, humansdo this best, but when a chimp laughs,you know it, right?
Social species must learn this art tosurvive. After all, mistaking GrandPoobah Chimp’s angry face for a happyface can result in an unexpected injuryto the brain.
Scientists believe most human soci-eties exhibit all the same facial expres-sions — happy, sad, surprised, angry. Inone study, for instance, scientists
showed photographs depicting facialexpressions to a remote tribe with no
contact to the outside world and,astonishingly, members of thetribe read every facial expressioncorrectly.
Was there a “Smile for me,sweetheart” in there some-where?
You’ll have to wait for thesequel on that one.
Wink, wink.
W H A T D O E S W I N K I N G M E A N ?
A m a n w i n k i n g a t a w o m a n h e d o e s n ’ t k n o wi n v i t e s a w h o l e o t h e r s e t o f u n s u b t l e a s s u m p t i o n s .
The eyeshave it
SS
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