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  • THE CORNERSTONE EAGLE

    October 2016 Edition

    Cornerstone International Groups MISSION is to be the best executive recruiting group worldwide, but

    our VISION is to be a true mentor and coach, one-on-one, with our clients, candidates and partners

    locally.

    We believe the way to do it is to promote our 3C VALUES of Community, Credibility, and Continuity. We

    succeed when our partners have achieved Healthier Businesses and Lives. The Cornerstone Eagle is not a

    sales letter to promote activities of our 70 offices globally, but a 3C tool to inspire you to maximize your

    personal and professional potential to be a Better Leader and a Better Person both at home and at

    business.

    We shall be your Faithful Companion / Coach / Mentor on your life and career journey, supporting you to

    discover yourself and offering good advice regarding the SIX important aspects of your professional Life:

    Identity, Money, Career Options, Health, Relationships and Your Future (spiritual and your legacy

    reminders).

    As we enter the month of October and indeed

    the last and 4th quarter of 2016, it reminds us of

    our personal life journey as many of us are

    entering the 3rd or 4th quarter of our life. It is

    time to ask ourselves how can we be more

    HAPPY or have JOY in all we do, as there are

    profound differences between the two. This

    October Eagle will suggest ways we can move

    from Happiness to Joy in our lives.

    We pray that these powerful wings of the Eagle shall continue to enable you to soar to new heights.

    Best Wishes,

    Simon Wan

    Chief Executive

    Cornerstone International Group

    Phone No.: +86 21 6474 7064 |: simon-wan@cornerstone-group.com

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    HAPPINESS and JOY

    I just want to be happy!"

    Asking most people what they want from life gets the same answer, "I just want to be happy."

    There is a common belief that happiness is

    something that can be achieved and held on to

    it. We look forward to that time in which we

    can finally be happy, but it continually recedes.

    When in high school, we think, "If I can just

    graduate then I will be happy." Graduation,

    however, is not fulfilling, and we decide "If I go

    to college then life will be better." But a college

    education does not bring happiness. Maybe it will come upon finding the right job, or getting married, or

    having children, or retiring. The goal remains elusive.

    The "happiness that lasts" is never found because it is actually impossible to get happy and stay happy. If

    life is based on obtaining happiness, then we will always fall short because life is always changing as the

    wheel turns.

    Joy versus Happiness

    It is far better to seek "joy." Joy is related to happiness, but it is a deeper experience.

    In the search for happiness the individual focuses

    upon himself, but joy moves a person out of a

    self-centered preoccupation and provides an

    orientation towards others.

    Joy is an experience which connects us to that

    which is "Greater" than we are. It connects us to

    the creative power that is more than the "I" or

    ego. Joy gets us out of ourselves and in contact

    with this "Other" and with others. Joy can sustain

    us throughout the different phases of life.

    If we are willing to give up the search for happiness, we may find joy.

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    Comparison between Happiness and Joy

    Meaning

    Happiness is an emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to

    bliss and intense pleasure.

    Joy is a stronger, less common feeling than

    happiness. Witnessing or achieving selflessness

    to the point of personal sacrifice frequently

    triggers this emotion. Feeling spiritually

    connected to a god or to people.

    Time frame

    Happiness - temporary, based on outward

    circumstances.

    Joy - lasting, based on inward circumstances.

    HOW TO FIND JOY

    Aiming for joy is more beneficial when compared with happiness, as it is less transitory and is not tied to

    external circumstances. So many of us have lost touch with that feeling, not knowing how to cultivate joy

    any more, so we resort to quick fixes like alcohol, drugs and addictive foods, or find fleeting moments of

    happiness from other places without truly experiencing it and cultivating it for ourselves, for example by

    watching TV.

    It can be challenging for us to shift our mindset from one of negative thinking to one of joy, so here are

    three things you should be doing to increase the amount of joy in your life:

    1. Quieten your mind with meditation.

    It's important to be able to tap into your heart rather than your head, your intuition rather than your

    thinking mind. Quietening the chatter in your mind and creating space within allows you to listen more

    closely to what brings you joy.

    2. Cut down on social media.

    We are so heavily influenced by what we

    'should like/do/have/buy' that this so often is

    not in line with what truly brings us joy. For

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    many of us, social media has become a necessity in our day. If ditching social media altogether is not an

    option, think about how you can cut down on it, for example:

    Checking social media sites just twice a day, once mid-morning, so youre not starting your day

    with social media, and again late afternoon.

    Opting for a maximum of two portals of instant messaging communication that friends and

    colleagues can contact you on. I recall a time when an ex-employer was contacting me on text, Wechat,

    WhatsApp, Viber, Skype, Facebook Messenger and regular phone calls. Needless to say, it was far too

    overwhelming!

    Choose the people you follow or who appear in your feed wisely. If you like to get your daily

    fix of whats happening around the globe, whether it be in world affairs, fashion or self-development, opt

    for those who inspire you, not those who bring you down.

    3. Keep a journal and practise gratitude for the things that bring you joy.

    Cultivate gratitude wherever possible and even have gratitude for the things that challenge you, as these

    help you to grow and build strength. This also helps to define what brings you joy and what doesnt.

    In your journal, at the end of each day, write a list of 10 things that

    you are grateful for that day, it can be anything. Celebrate and

    recognise these aspects of your day. Soon you will see running

    themes, and when you do, intersperse your day with more of the

    good stuff and less of the 'not so good' stuff.

    Having an attitude of gratitude makes us more appreciative and

    trusting, gives us better self-esteem and helps us bounce back

    from stress. It allows us to view the world, and our situation

    within this world, in a more positive, healthy way.

    Just embrace the simple

    experiences and pleasures.

    When we're moving at

    100mph, we take the simple things for granted. These are often the

    things that top up our feelings of joy. When you're more present,

    the simpler things become joyful; the food you eat, the air you

    breathe, the sounds of nature.

    The more people get in touch with their true self, the less they feel

    the need to seek from external influences to experience momentary happiness. Joy becomes a more

    constant state of being, it no longer becomes about what does or doesn't bring you joy, as you begin to

    cultivate joy from the inside out.

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    All of the above are learnings from Diffen, Wheel of Life, Rachel Fearnley and Psychologies

    HAPPINESS AND JOY QUOTES

    Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.

    John Lennon

    If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

    J.R.R. Tolkien

    Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to

    love, something to hope for.

    Immanuel Kant

    The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

    Nicolas Chamfort

    To get the full value of joy you must have someone to

    divide it with.

    Mark Twain

    If I can see pain in your eyes then share with me your

    tears. If I can see joy in your eyes then share with me

    your smile.

    Santosh Kalwar

    From the Bible:

    Luke 15:7

    Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine

    righteous persons who need no repentance. (Jesus speaking in the parable of the lost sheep)

    John 15:11

    These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."

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    Galatians 5:22

    "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness."

    Our Editor, Nancy Chu at nancy-chu@cornerstone-group.com would love to hear from you if you have

    special thoughts to share.

    About Cornerstone International Group

    Cornerstone International Group takes pride in its 25 years in executive search and as trusted advisors to

    CEOs. A global member of the Association of Executive Search and Leadership Consultants (AESC),

    Cornerstone is recognized among those having the highest level of quality in the executive search industry.

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