The Chronicles of Oz:The Wonderful Wizard Of Oz

__________________________

A six-part audio drama by Aron Toman

A Crossover Adventures Productionwww.crossovers.org

EPISODE FIVE

PREVIOUSLY:56

Catching everyone up on the previous four episodes.

OPENING CREDITS

EXT. WITCH'S COURTYARD57

Quox the dragon roars across the courtyard as people scream.

DOROTHYA dragon? The Wicked Witch had adragon? Seriously?!?

UGUHow else was she going to take overMunchkinland?

DOROTHYI thought that's what the shoeswere for!

UGUYou had the shoes. She had a PlanB!

LIONLook out! It's swooping again!

They all scream as the dragon swoops the crowd.

DOROTHYNow we have a confused dragonattacking us!

LIONDorothy, we gotta get out of here!

DOROTHYYou think?

UGUIt's setting fire to the town! Wehave to stop it!

DOROTHYHow? How do you stop a dragon?

182.

LIONLast week you asked the same thingabout stopping a witch.

DOROTHYGreat. Anyone have a giant bucketof water handy? Get me a house,I'll drop it on its head.

Dragon swoops by. People scream.

DOROTHYAll right, I've had enough.

LIONWe're running away?

DOROTHYNo. Ugu, where did the Witch keepher magic?

UGUMagic?

DOROTHYYou know, her spell book. Her onetrue ring, her whatever it is thatmade her all powerful? Look, theWitch of the East had these shoes,didn't the other one have somethingwe could use against this thing?

UGUEverything like that she kept inher tower. The room where -

DOROTHYThe room where I killed her. Ok.Follow me!

She rushes off, with the Lion and Ugu behind her.

INT. TOWER58

Dorothy, the Lion and Ugu rush in. Dorothy searches throughitems, tossing them aside. The dragon screeches outside.

DOROTHYLion, you take that side of theroom. Ugu, you take the other. I'llcheck the wardrobe.

183.

LIONWhat are you hoping to find inhere?

DOROTHYI don't know yet.

LIONThat's not very helpful.

DOROTHYSomething that can stop the dragon.Like the Silver Slippers.

UGUWhy don't you just use the SilverSlippers on it?

DOROTHYGreat, I'll kick the dragon. Idon't know what makes these shoesgo, or even if they do anything butsparkle in the sunshine. The Witchhad to have something else in herarsenal.

UGUMost of her power came from within.

DOROTHYgrabbing at items( )

Broomstick? No. Crystal ball -could that do much?

UGUOnly if you want to watch thedragon from afar and cackle at it.

LIONI'd like to watch the dragon fromafar. Very afar.

DOROTHYShut up and keep looking. Theremust be something. Book of Shadows,magic lasso, dragon Kryptoniteeven.

UGUWhat's Kryptonite?

DOROTHYNevermind just - what's this?

184.

LIONAn ugly hat.

DOROTHYIt's tingly it's... Ugu?

UGUThat... that's the Golden Cap.

DOROTHYYou mean because it's a cap andit's golden-y? You Ozians and yourway with words.

UGUYou don't want to use that. It'sdangerous.

DOROTHYWhat does it do?

UGUIt summons the Winged Monkeys.

LIONOh no!

DOROTHYYou mean those things that broughtus here?

UGUYes.

DOROTHYThe things that killed theScarecrow and the Tin Woodman?

UGUYes.

DOROTHYI see. Right. Well how does itwork?

LIONDorothy, no!

DOROTHYLion, you saw how powerful thosethings were. They pulled the TinWoodsman apart like... they'restrong. We know that. We can askthem to fight the dragon.

185.

UGUThe wearer of the Cap can commandthe Monkeys three times only. Buttheir power is fickle - they'rebound by the Cap but they'reunpredictable -

DOROTHYHow does it work?

LIONDorothy, are you sure?

DOROTHYOf course not, but the alternativeis getting roasted alive by thatthing. Ugu?

UGUPut the Cap on your head and recitethe inscription on the inside band.

DOROTHYHow can I read the inscription ifI'm wearing the cap?

UGUYou'll have to memorise it.

LIONAnd quickly. That dragon iscircling closer.

DOROTHYThank God I have a photographicmemory then.

UGUYou do?

DOROTHYOf course not. All right...

She mutters the spell under her breath for a moment thenputs on the hat.

DOROTHYintoning( )

Ep-pe, pep-pe, kak-ke.

LIONThat's it? That's the spell?

186.

UGUShh!

DOROTHYHil-lo, hol-lo, hel-lo.

A magical winds begins to form.

LIONSomething's happening...

DOROTHYZiz-zy, zuz-zy, zik!

A crash of lightning, just as in Episode 4, and the demonicscreech of the Monkeys echoes.

In front of Dorothy appears the WINGED MONKEY - ghostly,apparition and spokesman of the Monkey Tribe.

WINGED MONKEYThis is the first of three timesyou have summoned the WingedMonkeys. What is it you command ofus?

DOROTHYI... whoah. I did a spell. Cool!

LIONDorothy!

DOROTHYRight. Sorry. Umm, I command you todo battle with the -

The dragon screeches outside - too close for comfort.

DOROTHYfrantic( )

The dragon! Fight the dragon, getit away from here!

WINGED MONKEYAs you wish.

The Winged Monkey vanishes. An army of Winged Monkeys appearand fly past Dorothy, screaming all the way as they face offagainst the dragon.

DOROTHY (V.O.)That poor dragon. It was the sameas the Winkies, really. For yearsit had been under the Witch's

(MORE)

187.

thrall and now it was finally free.DOROTHY (V.O.) (cont'd)

It was confused and scared andlashing out. And now it was facingan army of screaming, magicalflying monkeys. It was probablyterrified.

The skies above the Witch's castlebecame a battleground. The dragonstopped attacking the Winkies andinstead turned its attention to theWinged Monkeys that surrounded it.We watched from the window as itswooped, dodged and tried to eludeits new enemies.

The Dragon continues to screech at his attackers, belchingfire and fighting. And the Monkeys keep coming.

DOROTHY (V.O.)In the end, the dragon couldn'thold out against the onslaught.Dozens of Winged Monkeys descendedupon the creature, grabbing itslegs, its wings, anything theycould. And before we knew it, theydragged the screaming monster awaybeyond the horizon.

The dragon is dragged away. The Winkies begin to cheerbelow.

LIONThey did it. The Monkeys saved us.

DOROTHYThat makes a change I guess.

LIONWhat did they do to the dragon?

DOROTHYI don't know. Flew it awaysomewhere else I guess.

LIONWhere it can scare another villageof people.

UGUAs long as it isn't here. Dorothy,I don't know what to say. You'vesaved the Winkies again.

188.

DOROTHYGood.

pause( )Now it's time the Winkies didsomething for me.

UGUWhat? Anything, we'll do it.

DOROTHYPoint me in the direction of yourbest tin smith.

INT. BLACKSMITH59

Sounds of a forge and anvil slowly build up around Dorothy'snarration.

DOROTHY (V.O.)It had taken me a while, but Ifinally realised something. Oz wasa magic land. I know, obviousright? Clueless Dorothy. Talkingscarecrows and royal mice andwitches and wizards and I was onlynow realising the significance.Until now I'd been treating Oz likeany other place back home. But Ozis no place like home. It has itsown rules. Its own magic rules. Andit was time I used that to myadvantage.

My two closest allies in thismagical land had been taken fromme - but they were the most magicalof my allies. So I figured magiccould bring them back. I had theremains of the Tin Woodman taken tothe Winkie who used to be the cityblacksmith in the days before thewitch. And I asked her to restoremy metal friend to his originalcondition - better than new.

LIONWhat's that going to do?

DOROTHYI don't know yet. I'm playing ahunch. He's a tin man, for God'ssake. Remember the other night, hesaid he doesn't sleep because he's

(MORE)

189.

not really alive? Then he can'tDOROTHY (cont'd)

really be dead either, can he?

INT. WITCH’S GREAT HALL60

DOROTHY (V.O.)Next it was time to find theScarecrow. I assembled the WinkieGuards and took them into thewasteland where the Winged Monkeysfirst found us. And we started asearch for whatever we could findof my brainless friend - whateverremained. Even if it was just hishat, I wanted it.

In a few short hours, we found him.The straw had long since blownaway, but we still had most of hishis clothes, his gloves, his face -and yes, even his hat - stillhanging there in the tree. Wegathered the materials together andbrought him back to the castle,where I personally set aboutrestoring him.

I'm from Kansas, after all. I'vebeen fixing scarecrows all my life.I had this. And no sooner had Irepaired his head -

SCARECROWHello Dorothy - miss me!

Dorothy jumps.

DOROTHYJesus Christ!

SCARECROWYou're renaming me? Cool!

DOROTHYScarecrow! Are- are you really -

SCARECROWA head on a table? Apparently.Dorothy, where's my body?

190.

DOROTHYIt's, over there, I'm stillstuffing it. I'll help attach it assoon as...

she gives his head a big(hug)

Oh Scarecrow, I thought we’d lostyou!

SCARECROWslightly muffled( )

Wow, hugs. Nice hugs. I should getripped apart by Winged Monkeys moreoften!

DOROTHYDon't you dare!

Door opens and the Tin Woodman and the Lion enter.

LIONHey Dorothy, look who I foundescaping from the blacksmith!

TIN WOODMANI wasn’t escaping, I just wasn'tsitting around waiting on them tore-rivet me again.

DOROTHYTin Woodman!

She stands up and gives him a hug too.

TIN WOODMANCareful now, this breastplate wasonly just polished.

SCARECROWLook out, Tin Woodman! She's in ahugging mood!

LIONScarecrow!

DOROTHYOh I can’t believe it! You’re bothback and you’re both here and ...

she sniffles( )

SCARECROWDorothy, are you crying again?

191.

TIN WOODMANCareful, your jaw will rust.

DOROTHYteary with joy( )

Oh shut up. Both of you.sniff( )

I’m never letting either of you outof my sight ever again, got it? Allof you, even you Lion.

LIONSo what do we do now?

SCARECROWNothing until you reattach my body!

DOROTHYThat won't take me long. Then Ithink it's time we went back to theEmerald City. Together.

TIN WOODMANOff to see the Wizard!

DOROTHYAnd I have every intention onmaking an entrance.

INT. EMERALD CITY OFFICE61

Omby Amby and Jelia Jamb have a meeting.

JELIA JAMBHave you seen this?

She dumps a paper on Omby's desk.

OMBY AMBYIt's a photo. Cute kid.

JELIA JAMBCute Munchkin kid. Cute woundedMunchkin kid - see his arm?

OMBY AMBYOh crap.

JELIA JAMBIt's been circulating around thecity. Now they're calling for somedefinitive action from the Wizardto stop the conflict.

192.

OMBY AMBYWhat do they expect us to do? Ifthe Munchkins want to hack eachother to pieces -

JELIA JAMBI need to tell them something. Hasthe Wizard given any indicationwhat he's going to do yet?

OMBY AMBYWhat do you think?

JELIA JAMBThey're asking me the question,Omby. They want to know what theWizard plans to do.

OMBY AMBYThe Wizard, as ever, plans to donothing. The policy of the EmeraldCity is to protect the Emerald Cityat all costs, skirmishes in -

JELIA JAMBIt's turned into civil war!

OMBY AMBYWhat do you want from me, Jelia?The Wizard commands and we -

Sudden alarms all over the building.

JELIA JAMBOmby?

OMBY AMBYDon't look at me, I don't knowwhat's happening.

shouting( )Faramant!

Faramant rushes past.

FARAMANTCan't talk, being invaded.

JELIA JAMBWhat!?

OMBY AMBYFaramant, what's happening.

193.

FARAMANTinto communicator ring( )

Storkgard platoons four, twelve andfifteen, take position on the eastand south borders. I repeat, eastand south. I don't want anythingelse coming in from the rear whilewe're all looking ahead.

to Omby( )You haven't heard?

JELIA JAMBWe've heard the alarms!

FARAMANTWinged Monkeys. Coming in from theWest.

OMBY AMBYThis is it then. Battle stations.

FARAMANTAlready on it.

JELIA JAMBThe Witch is finally invading?

OMBY AMBYGuess sending that girl was onestep too far. I'll have to briefthe Wizard -

FARAMANTWait a second

into communicator( )Say again Storkguard?

pause( )They're going to land in the PalaceSquare.

OMBY AMBYThen shoot them down, Faramant!

FARAMANTYou can't shoot down WingedMonkeys, you know that.

to communicator( )All guards to the Palace Square.Repeat, all guards to the Square.

They all rush from the room.

194.

EXT. EMERALD CITY SQUARE62

A crowd has formed. People everywhere, mostly citizens,onlookers, checking out what's going on. Guards hold themback. Faramant, Omby Amby and Jelia Jamb rush in.

OMBY AMBYWhat are all these citizens doinghere? They'll get themselveskilled!

FARAMANTIt's lunchtime on a weekday, thisplace is always packed.

OMBY AMBYWell get them out! It'll be abloodbath!

JELIA JAMBIt's too late! Look!

The screech of the Winged Monkeys comes closer. Then we hearDorothy's laugh as they land and disappear.

DOROTHYMiss me?

OMBY AMBYYou... you’re dead!

DOROTHYYou don’t look so fresh yourself,buster.

FARAMANTBut you went to the Witch of theWest.

JELIA JAMBWillingly!

OMBY AMBYYou either died or she made you herslaves!

TIN WOODMANWell, both, technically.

SCARECROWBut we came back. Aren’t we good?

195.

LIONNot until we’d killed her ofcourse.

DOROTHYWe? How was this a 'we' thing? Itwas my bucket of water.

OMBY AMBYThis is ... well it’s... you killedher?

DOROTHYYes. We’d like to see the Wizardnow please.

OMBY AMBYI -

DOROTHYHe did ask us to return once we didwhat he asked, and not before. Andwe’re in a hurry so if you couldjust show us the way -

OMBY AMBYStay where you are! The Great Ozdoes not take audiences on thewhims of -

DOROTHYGuys, I do believe this guardhasn’t been listening to what we‘vebeen saying.

TIN WOODMANWax in the ears. Always gives youflesh people trouble.

DOROTHYLet me explain this again. I’mDorothy Gale. You’ve just seen mecommand the Winged Monkeys. You’vebeen informed that I’ve battled anddestroyed the Wicked Witch of theWest. You will notice I have beenblessed by the Witch of the Northand I’m wearing the shoes of theWitch of the East, whom you recallI also killed. Granted, I haven’tyet met the Witch of the South butthree out of four ain't bad. Sowhat does this tell you? It tellsyou that I am one super powerful

(MORE)

196.

person and you had better not messDOROTHY (cont'd)

with me. Do I make myself clear?

OMBY AMBYgulp( )

Perfectly.

DOROTHYTake us to see the Wizard.

OMBY AMBYRight away.

FADE OUT

INT. THRONE ROOM63

DOROTHY (V.O.)There was no way I was letting themsend us in one at a time. All ornothing, and I wouldn't acceptnothing. It’s amazing how much youcan get away with once you kill offhalf the ruling caste of a country.

The doors open ominously and the four friends enter timidly.

DOROTHY (V.O.)That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scaredout of my wits as we entered thethrone room together.

SCARECROWwhisper( )

I don’t see him anywhere.

TIN WOODMANwhisper( )

Me neither.

LIONwhisper( )

I think I’m going to wait outside,let me know how it goes.

DOROTHYnormal volume( )

Don’t you move. I’m fed up withthis, I want to go home already.

yelling( )Wizard! Are you here? I am DorothyGale and I demand you showyourself!

197.

WIZARDbooming voice( )

I am Oz the Great and Terrible! Whydo you seek me?

SCARECROWWhere did the voice come from?

WIZARDI am everywhere. To the eyes ofcommon, pitiful mortals I aminvisible. You may address me by mythrone. Now explain how you dareapproach me in such a manner!

DOROTHYfalse bravado( )

We come to claim what you promisedto us.

WIZARDWhat promise?

DOROTHYWhat do you mean what promise?

SCARECROWYou, you promised me a brain, andthe Lion some courage.

TIN WOODMANAnd me a heart.

DOROTHYAnd you were going to send me hometo Kansas.

WIZARDIs the Witch of the West trulydestroyed as we agreed?

DOROTHYI-I melted her with a bucket ofwater myself.

Pause

DOROTHYAre you still there?

WIZARDI will need to consider thiscarefully. Come back tomorrow.

198.

DOROTHYExcuse me?

WIZARDThe Great Oz has spoken!

TIN WOODMANNo, I don’t think so.

SCARECROWYou’ve had plenty of time already!

WIZARDlouder and boomier( )

Do not speak to me in such a tone!I am the Great and Terrible Wizardof Oz! I should crush you into aninfinitesimal atom!

Toto yelps and runs away to a corner to hide.

DOROTHYToto, come back here!

to Wizard( )You frightened him!

LIONHe’s in trouble now. She gets madwhen people frighten her dog.

WIZARDYou should all show such wisdom asthe animal! I am the Wizard of Oz!Obey me and leave this place beforeI bring a terrible something uponyou -

Toto yelps and knocks over a screen. The Wizard’s rantechoes into feedback as his microphone falls over.

WIZARDnormal voice( )

Oh crumbs.

DOROTHYCan everyone else see that weirdlittle man with the microphonetrying to hide behind the screen?

WIZARDAhh... pay no attention to me, I’mjust a little friend of theWizard’s here...

199.

TIN WOODMANshouting at the throne( )

Wizard! Do you hear me! Give uswhat we want or we will end yourlittle friend here! I’m notkidding!

SCARECROWTin Woodman, wait. I think ... heis the Wizard.

Pause

DOROTHYBut he’s just... you’re just...

WIZARDvery humble( )

I’m the ... Great and TerribleWizard of Oz. Yes.

LIONI don’t believe it.

WIZARDI’m afraid it’s true. I’m very,very sorry for fooling you all...

DOROTHYBut you can’t be. The Wizard is allpowerful. The entire country isafraid of him. Wicked Witches areafraid. You’re just a a little ...old...

TIN WOODMANNice try. All right, Wizard, enoughmind games - show yourself! I’llkill him, I will! I’m heartlessremember, I’ll do it.

WIZARDPlease, don’t strike me, please! Ireally am the Wizard, I promiseyou. My name is Oscar ZoroastorDiggs, balloonist extraordinaire,Ruler of the City of Emeralds andthe greater lands in Oz for manyyears now.

DOROTHYIt’s ... it’s another disguisethen? You’re only pretending to be

(MORE)

200.

a little old man, you’re still allDOROTHY (cont'd)

powerful, right.

SCARECROWI don’t think he is, Dorothy. Idon’t think he has any powers atall.

DOROTHYBut he has to.

SCARECROWAll-powerful wizards don’t cower inthe corner like that.

DOROTHYBut ... you were my only hope. Theonly one who could possibly helpme. Help us.

WIZARDI’m sorry my dear, I’m reallysorry.

LIONSorry? You’re a humbug!

WIZARDShh! Please keep your voices down.If somebody heard you out there I’dbe finished. Nobody besides youknows I’m a fraud. You have topromise not to tell anyone.

LIONWhy should we?

DOROTHYYou’ve been lying to the people ofOz for so long, don’t they deserveto know the truth?

WIZARDAnd what do you think they’d do tome then? Please, I beg of you, tellnobody. Oh I knew I shouldn’t havelet you in here. They said you wereso demanding, and when they saidyou killed the Witch of the West Iwas so afraid you’d come in byforce...

201.

SCARECROWIf you’re not really a wizard, howdid you do all those things youdid? The booming voice and theglowing heads and... stuff.

WIZARDOh, nothing to it, just a few videoprojections, some hidden speakersand a microphone or two. Lots oflittle tricks that have kept thepeople of Oz mystified...

TIN WOODMANWhat’s a video projection?

DOROTHYWhat do you mean, what’s a videoprojection?

realising( )Oh, you don’t know what videos are,do you? Nobody in Oz does, causethey don’t have them here. Whichmeans you mustn’t be from Oz.That’s how you knew about Kansasand the United States.

WIZARDYou’re right. I’m originally fromOmaha, Nebraska. I used to work ina circus, travelling from town totown, showing the locals littlemagic tricks, that sort of thing. Iwas hoping to become a ringmastersomeday. I guess I got my wish, ina way.

DOROTHYWhat happened? How did you end uphere?

WIZARDI don’t know. I was working as aballoonist, giving folks ridesaround the circus grounds - just abit of fun. Anyway, one day I wasup in the balloon, in the airwaiting for customers, when a stormwhipped up. The ropes twisted and Icouldn’t lower myself down again.Then the wind picked up - the ropessnapped and before I knew it theballoon and I were flung away intothe storm, tossing and turning.

202.

DOROTHYSounds like what happened to me andmy house.

WIZARDWell what goes up must come down,and eventually the balloon came torest here in Oz, right outside thegates of the Emerald City. Theywere having a spot of trouble atthe time. The king was dying, therewere wicked witches trying to takecontrol and, well, they neededsomeone to lead them. So when theysaw my balloon land from the sky,with my initials painted on theside... they assumed I must havebeen sent to help them.

TIN WOODMANYour initials? Oscar Zoroaster...

WIZARDO. Z. The name of your country,yes. So I did a few tricks forthem, I managed a small sound andlight show which scared the wickedwitches away from their beautifulcity. After that, well, they allcalled me a Wonderful Wizard. Andwho was I to disagree?

SCARECROWSo you lied to everyone?

WIZARDI merely accepted the positionoffered to me. And being trapped inanother world, unable to get backhome, I thought it was the bestaction to take at the time. And Ihaven’t been bad for Oz in the longrun. I’ve kept the Wicked Witchesat bay for years. The EmeraldCitizens have been kept safe.

DOROTHYYou’ve not done much for Oz ingeneral though have you? It’s amess! The Winkies have spent thelast decade possessed, theMunchkins have descended into civilwar. That doesn’t sound toowonderful to me.

203.

WIZARDI do what I can, but -

DOROTHYHow long has it been since you leftthis room? Have you spoken to yoursubjects out there? Everyone thinksyou’re all powerful, you can doanything. Want a brain? Want aheart? Need a way to get back homeagain - go see the Wizard! Theycall him wonderful! He’s great andterrible, fantastic powers at hiscommand, because of the wonderfulthings he does. And in the end I’vegot more power in my little fingerthan you do, and I’m just a girlfrom Kansas. You’re a very bad man,Mr Diggs.

WIZARDNo, no, I’m really a very good man.I’m just a very bad wizard.

DOROTHYI beg to differ. Come on guys,let’s go.

SCARECROWWait, isn’t he -

DOROTHYHe can’t give you your brainsScarecrow. He can’t give the TinWoodman his heart or the Lion hiscourage. He’d need to have allthose himself first, and he’s justproven he hasn’t got any of them.And as for getting Toto and me backhome... Well, best we can do istell the Emerald Citizens what weknow.

TIN WOODMANI agree.

WIZARDWhat? No, you can’t!

LIONThey deserve to know the truth.

204.

WIZARDPlease, you don’t know what theywill do to me. You’ll bring Oz toits knees! The people are alreadydistressed with the sudden deathsof the witches - you expose me nowand you doom Oz to chaos and war!They need me now more than ever tokeep them safe!

DOROTHYYou can’t keep them safe! Youhaven’t got any power!

WIZARDBut they don’t know that! Withoutme there will be panic. People willdie.

DOROTHYI think you’re more concerned withwhat they’ll do to you when theyfind out. And you know what, Idon’t care. You sent me to theWitch of the West knowing she wouldprobably kill me and you didn’tcare. I think it’s your turn.

WIZARDWait! I’ll do anything. I’ll giveyou what you came here for!

SCARECROWYou will?

WIZARDI can give you your brain,Scarecrow. I’ll give you a heart,I’ll give you some courage, I’lleven send you back home if I can,just please don’t let them knowwhat I am!

SCARECROWHe might be able to do it.

DOROTHYHow? You’re a fake.

WIZARDGive me a chance, please. Let meprove myself to you.

205.

LIONIt can’t hurt to give him a chanceDorothy.

SCARECROWWe haven’t got much to lose at thispoint.

TIN WOODMANIt would be worse to have beenthrough all we have to come outwith nothing.

WIZARDPlease, Dorothy. Don’t go out thatdoor. Not yet.

Pause

DOROTHYAll right. Show us what you’ve got,'Mister Wizard'.

INT. PALACE CORRIDOR64

Faramant listens to the final few moments of the previousscene.

FARAMANTwhispering( )

I don't believe it...

JELIA JAMBFaramant!

FARAMANTShh!

JELIA JAMBYou're not listening in at thethrone room door? The Wizard will -

FARAMANTThe Wizard's a fake!

JELIA JAMBHe's what?

FARAMANTI just heard it. They figured itout. The Wizard... he's a fake! Ineed to tell Omby Amby!

206.

He rushes off down the corridor.

JELIA JAMBFaramant, wait! What do you mean!

She follows behind him.

INT. EMERALD CITY OFFICE65

OMBY AMBYFaramant, are you drunk?

FARAMANTI heard it as clearly as I hear younow.

OMBY AMBYThat's not a no.

FARAMANTOf course I'm not drunk. Theyworked it out. He was begging themnot to tell anybody. The Wizard -begging!

OMBY AMBYJelia, shut the door.

He waits for her to close it.

OMBY AMBYHave you told anybody else this?Either of you?

JELIA JAMBNo, we came straight here.

OMBY AMBYKeep it that way. We don't wantthis sort of nonsense getting out.The city is nervous enough as itis.

FARAMANTYou believe me, sir?

OMBY AMBYOf course I don't, it's nonsense.Of course the Wizard is real. Youdon't think he could fool the wholeof Oz for this long, do you?

207.

JELIA JAMBNo, but...

OMBY AMBYWhat?

JELIA JAMBWell it's just it makes a bit ofsense.

OMBY AMBYOh Jelia...

JELIA JAMBWell have you heard of anyone who'sactually seen the Wizard? Lately Imean? Omby, you're the only one whospeaks with him on a regular basis,but even you only hear a voice inthe room, don't you.

OMBY AMBYThis is ridiculous.

JELIA JAMBHe's never seen in public, hehardly ever takes audiences andwhen he does he appears as strangefantastical beings -

FARAMANTFantastical beings from afar. Neverclose up.

OMBY AMBYBecause he's a Wizard and hechooses these shapes -

JELIA JAMBAnd let's be honest, there's alwaysbeen those theories -

OMBY AMBYAnd I expect better of you tobelieve in them. Yes, crackpotshave said for decades the Wizardisn't real. They also say thegovernment puts implants in theirheads, and crossing the DeadlyDesert won't turn you into sand.Idiots will believe anything.

JELIA JAMBThat's exactly what I'm afraid of.

208.

FARAMANTAnd I'm not just a crackpot -

OMBY AMBYHa!

FARAMANT- I heard him. I heard the Wizardhimself admit it.

OMBY AMBYNow that's enough.

FARAMANTOmby, I'm telling you -

OMBY AMBYAnd I'm telling you to drop it.Both of you. We are entering aperiod of uncertainty that Ozhasn't seen since Pastoria died.The Emerald City needs a strongleader now more than ever. They donot need rumours seeding doubt andsuspicion in the Wizard that theyneed to depend on -

FARAMANTBut -

OMBY AMBYDrop it, and that's an order.

He marches out and slams the door.

JELIA JAMBI think we've been told.

FARAMANTI can't. I can't drop this. It'stoo important. I need a Ring.

JELIA JAMBFaramant, no, don't do it.

FARAMANTopening a ring( )

Operator, put me through to thebroadcasters. I have breaking news.

INT. THRONE ROOM66

The Wizard is seeing the Scarecrow first.

209.

WIZARDMister Scarecrow, if you could justsit here.

SCARECROWOf course.

WIZARDNow, I have something here that Ithink could do the job quite well.If you’ll just allow me to open theseam at the back of your head I’llmake the installation and you’ll bethinking genius thoughts in notime.

SCARECROWWhat are you putting in?

WIZARDIt’s a bag of bran. Oh, I mean,erm, bran-new brains, of course.Yes, here we go.

SCARECROWIt’s a bit pointy for brains, isn’tit?

WIZARDI put some pins in there, that wayyou’ll know your brains are sharp.

DOROTHYOh brother.

SCARECROWDoes that make me a pinhead?

DOROTHYYes.

WIZARDQuiet, please, I am about to makethe first incision.

EXT. EMERALD CITY SQUARE67

A crowd is forming, an uncomfortable crowd, listening to ageneral broadcast.

210.

RADIO REPORTERdistorted( )

Wonderful or worthless? That's whatthe Emerald Citizens are asking ofthe Wizard today after a surprisingrevelation from deep in theWizard's inner circle. Faramant,the Guardian of the Gates himself,issued a statement a few hours ago,declaring the Wizard of Oz is infact a fake with no true power. Heclaims to have only discovered thistoday, and feels it his civic dutyto spread the news. He has alsomade it clear that this statementis from him personally and is notthe official position of theEmerald City administration.

Of course, rumours of the trueextent of the Wizard's power havecirculated among certain circlesfor many years. However this is thefirst time someone so close to theWizard himself has made such aclaim. In the hours since this thestatement was made, members of thepublic have began to gather in thestreets and outside the Wizard'sPalace. And all of us are askingthe same question - is the Wizardtruly as wonderful as we were ledto believe? If so, then will theWizard give us a demonstration ofhis powers and settle this issueonce and for all?

INT. THRONE ROOM68

The Wizard attends to the Tin Woodman.

TIN WOODMANAll right, my turn. I want my heartand I want it now.

WIZARDEasy son, easy. I’m not sure Ishould give you one while you’rethis excited. Might give you anattack, eh?

He chuckles, awkwardly.

211.

TIN WOODMANFunny. Are we doing this or not?

WIZARDDon’t get your cast iron knickersin a twist. Here we are.

TIN WOODMANIs that meant to be a joke?

WIZARDIt’s a heart, isn’t it?

TIN WOODMANIt’s a bit of silk shaped like aheart.

WIZARDYes, quite. What I thought I’d dois cut a hole in your chest andplace it in there. You’ll haveemotions before you can blink!

TIN WOODMANWhy do I feel doubtful?

WIZARDSee, it’s already working! You feelsomething! Imagine how much betterit’ll work once it’s installed!

EXT. EMERALD CITY OFFICE69

Faramant, Jelia Jamb and Omby Amby are inside. The sound ofa building mob can be heard outside.

OMBY AMBYYou are so fired.

FARAMANTI had a duty.

OMBY AMBYYou're also under arrest fortreason!

JELIA JAMBFaramant, don't you realise whatyou've done?

FARAMANTI had a duty.

212.

JELIA JAMBYou have a city about to tear thispalace apart!

OMBY AMBYI told you the people were alreadynervous. I warned you that lettingthis sort of thing get out wouldstart a panic. I'd lock you in theprisons except leading you throughthe crowds in chains would justmake things worse.

FARAMANTIs that why there's a guardpointing a sword at me?

OMBY AMBYI should make him cut your headoff.

JELIA JAMBOmby, enough.

OMBY AMBYYou're right. We need to focus ondamage control.

JELIA JAMBI don't know what we can do. We canissue a blanket denial, but thatmight give this credibility -

OMBY AMBYIt's got credibility! He's theGuardian of the Gates! Until nowanyway.

JELIA JAMBAnd I don't think it would do anygood to just deny it. They'reassembling at the Palace steps, andthey're not going away.

OMBY AMBYThis is just what I was afraid of.The Munchkins are in revolt, theWinkies are a mess. Now the EmeraldCitizens are taking up arms.

JELIA JAMBThey haven't taken up arms yet. Butgive them time.

213.

OMBY AMBYYou're the expert in publicrelations, Guardian of the People.What do we do from here?

JELIA JAMBWe have to handle it delicately -

FARAMANTWhy not ask the Wizard to provehe's not a fake?

OMBY AMBYShut up.

FARAMANTGet him to do something wonderful,that will fix it.

OMBY AMBYSomeone get him out of here. Lockhim in a cupboard.

JELIA JAMBI think he might be right.

OMBY AMBYNo he's not.

JELIA JAMBIf our stance is that the Wizard isreally a Wizard, then we're goingto have to back it up. Faramant mayhave done the wrong thing, but he'stapped into nagging doubts thathave been there for decades. That'snot going to be undone with justwords.

FARAMANTAnd what do you do when the Wizardcan't deliver?

JELIA JAMBThen we - well maybe that'ssomething the people need to knowtoo.

OMBY AMBYThere will be chaos. A whole cityrealising their all-powerful rulerisn't nearly as powerful as theybelieved? They'll put our heads onpikes before you can blink. It'll

(MORE)

214.

be worse than the Munchkin war everOMBY AMBY (cont'd)

was.

FARAMANTBut you've got nothing to worryabout, do you Omby? The Wizard isreal, isn't he? Why not ask him toprove it so we can all go home.

OMBY AMBYFaramant I swear if you don't...You know what? Fine. I'll go askhim. I'll seek an audience, I'llalert him to the problem, I'llrequest a special one offdemonstration of his power. Thenyou'll see.

INT. THRONE ROOM70

The Lion’s turn to see the Wizard.

WIZARDIt’s all right Lion, you don’t needto be scared.

LIONI’m not scared, I’m p-p-petrified.

WIZARDI understand completely. I’ve beenscared an awful lot in my time.Actually, I don’t know many whohaven’t.

LIONNot as frightened as me.

WIZARDI don’t know. You should have seenme when I tried to battle the Witchof the West. You should have seenme squirm!

LIONMaybe you need some courage too?

WIZARDWouldn’t say no, I don’t mindtelling you. How about some ofthis?

He uncorks a bottle. The Lion takes a sniff.

215.

LIONWhat is it?

WIZARDA bottle of courage, I mixed itmyself. Quite a good vintage if Idare say so - have a drink.

LIONI have to drink that?

WIZARDWell, courage can only come fromwithin, can’t it? So for it towork, you have to drink.

LIONWell, ok, if you say so...

He drinks the bottle.

WIZARDWhat do you think?

LIONhiccup( )

Smooth.

WIZARDEveryone’s a critic.

Mystical beeping noise - a Ring is ringing.

DOROTHYWhat's that?

WIZARDJust a Ring. One of the littlecommunications devices we have herein the Emerald City. Somebody needsthe Wizard's attention.

he answers it and puts on(a voice)

Who seeks the Great Oz?

OMBY AMBYdistorted( )

Your Ozness. It is the Guardian ofthe Throne. I- I seek your wisdomand advice.

WIZARDYou may speak!

216.

OMBY AMBYdistorted( )

Your people have... they have cometo doubt your... they've stoppedbelieving you’re really a Wizard.

WIZARDwhisper( )

What?

OMBY AMBYThere was a rumour. There's alwaysa rumour but this is... They'reassembling on the Palace steps.They're demanding proof of yourmighty power.

WIZARDangry( )

You told them!

DOROTHYWe haven’t left this room, howcould we?

WIZARDYou promised me that if I helpedyou you’d keep this quiet, and nowthey all know!

TIN WOODMANYou don’t think they might haveworked it all out for themselves?

SCARECROWAnyone with a brain could guess iteventually. Which actually includesme now, thanks for asking.

WIZARDI shouldn’t have trusted you. Ishould have kept you out while Ihad the chance.

OMBY AMBYdistorted( )

Great Oz, if you could make anappearance, show them you are trulythe Wonderful Wizard that they havecome to trust -

WIZARDI need to get away from here.

217.

DOROTHYWhere do you think you’re going?

WIZARDI have to escape.

DOROTHYYou can’t leave us to deal with allthis. What about getting me back toKansas?

WIZARDI haven’t got time, they're comingfor me!

TIN WOODMANYou can’t just run away.

SCARECROWWho's going to rule the EmeraldCity?

WIZARDYou do it. With your bran-newbrains you might be better at itthan I was.

He runs out of the back of the throne room.

DOROTHYMr Diggs, get back here! Wizard!Lion, what are you smiling at?

LIONtipsy( )

My face has gone all numb.hiccup( )

DOROTHYOh God. Wizard, get your ass backin here and face the music!

to the others( )You guys stall them, I’m going todrag Oz the Great and Terrible backwhether he likes it or not.

She rushes after the Wizard.

SCARECROWRightio, I’m sure I’ll be able tothink of something!

he laughs( )I got a brain you know.

218.

TIN WOODMANGood. Then maybe you can think ofsomething to tell the Guardian ofthe Throne out there!

INT. WIZARD’S TOWER71

DOROTHY (V.O.)At the back of the throne room wasa hidden door that led to a windystaircase that led to what Ipresumed was the Wizard’s privaterooftop courtyard. There I found ahuge orange hot-air balloon with -just as he’d said - the letters 'O'and 'Z' emblazoned on the basket.The Wizard himself was alreadyinside and firing up the burner.

WIZARDKeep back, Dorothy! I mean it!

DOROTHYOh no you don’t. Get out of thereand face your people!

WIZARDI can’t, I’m sorry.

DOROTHYYou can and you will, even if Ihave to drag you out! You lied tothem, you owe them the truth!

WIZARDThey’ll destroy me!

DOROTHYNot if you come clean they won’t!Tell them what happened, be honestand you’ll be fine.

WIZARDDon’t be so naïve, what would youdo if you were in their position?

DOROTHYI am in their position! I trustedin your great power too, remember,and look where it’s got me!

219.

WIZARDI’m sorry, I really am. But I can’tstay here. I just can’t. I had thisballoon prepared for just thissituation, ready to go at any time.And that time has come.

DOROTHYDon’t you even think about dumpingthis on us. What are we supposed totell your people?

WIZARDWhatever you like. Tell them I waskilled. Tell them I went to heaven.Tell them I was a Wicked Wizard whoabandoned them all, I don’t care!Oz is yours now, tell them what youlike!

He fires the burner again and starts to float away.

DOROTHYDon’t you float away while I’myelling at you. Get back down hereright now!

WIZARDdrifting away( )

Goodbye Dorothy! I hope you findyour way back to Kansas. Perhapswe’ll meet again there someday!

DOROTHYYou’d better pray I never see youagain! Wizard! Wizard!!!!

WIZARDnow far away( )

Goodbye and good luck!

DOROTHYto herself( )

I’m gonna kill him. If I ever seethat man again I am going to killhim...

The crowd below screams in surprise as the balloon flies by.

DOROTHYAs long as the Emerald Citizensdon't kill us first...

CLOSING CREDITS

220.