The Busy-Proof Way To Lasting Change€¦ · Habits shouldn’t constrain you, they shouldn’t...

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module 3 | training 1The Busy-Proof Way To Lasting Change

1.

Hello, there, it’s Michelle McQuaid here and welcome to our �nal module. Before we

dive into today’s content I want to just take a moment and say congratulations! You’re

almost there and the courage and commitment you’ve demonstrated to get to this

point will make these last steps easy to take. Trust me, we’re on the downhill run home

now that you know what your strengths-fueled future looks like and you’ve mapped

your hopes to get from where you are to where you want to be. You’ll want to make sure

you’ve got your hope map handy for today’s session as it’ll make some of your choices

a whole lot easier.

This module is all about delivering on these changes so you can consistently show up,

shine, and succeed at work. Let’s be honest; by now you’re probably wondering how

will you �t this in with everything else that’s happening in your of�ce? How will you �nd

the time to prioritize developing your strengths on a daily basis even if it’s not of�cially

part of your job?

The good news is that when it comes to changing your behavior, studies suggest that

small, regular actions are the best way to create lasting differences. This is because

when you shrink the changes you want to create into tiny, busy-proof steps, you stop

feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, and instead start notching up success after

success after success. As your con�dence grows and your fear of failure withers, your

progress begins to accumulate into an upward spiral of positive, sustainable behavior.

So let’s get started by discovering the busy-proof way to make lasting changes.

Here’s what we’ll cover today:

• What’s the smallest change that will make the biggest difference in helping you

show up, shine, and succeed? I know how busy you are, so I’m a big believer in

small changes that’ll make a big difference.

• What are the three simple steps you can take to creating the changes that

you crave?

To do this, we’ll be guided by the wisdom of William James, the father of modern

psychology, who said, “All our life, so far as it has de�nite form, is but a mass of habits –

practical, emotional, and intellectual – systematically organized for our weal or our woe,

and bearing us irresistibly towards our destiny, whatever the latter may be.”

Decades ahead of what neuroscientists would later uncover in their research, James

understood that it was our habits that created so many of the outcomes in our life.

And yet, how often do we tune into what those habits actually are?

One paper published by Duke University in 2006 found that more than 40% of the actions

we perform each day aren’t actual decisions, but mere habits. That’s a little more than

six hours a day! So, in order to take your hopes and turn them into reality, building

positive habits that guide you, rather than govern you, is one of the easiest ways to

consistently show up, shine, and succeed at work.

The trick here is to �nd the right way to build habits, just like we found the right way to

build hopes. Habits shouldn’t constrain you, they shouldn’t constrict you, and they

shouldn’t be a burden in your life. Rather, the kind of habits we want to create should

guide you in a way that liberates your energy to do more of the things that you love.



2.

• What would you do with a gift of 11 minutes each day just to be the best that

you can be?

• And why does it take courage and grace to show up, shine, and succeed

consistently?

Why do habits matter?

Despite our best intentions, building positive habits can be hard work, which is why

80% of New Year’s resolutions get broken every year. Why? Well, because we think we

can go from 0 to 100 in an instant, building ingrained life habits through the sheer force

of willpower. The problem with this approach is that social psychologists have

discovered that we each have a limited supply of willpower. The more we use it, the

more it wears out, making new habits dif�cult to sustain.

So, drawing on the wisdom of James, who urged us to make our nervous systems our

allies, today I want to show you how you can create strengths-based habits that will

make it easier for you to consistently show up, shine, and succeed in your work.

Luckily, researchers at MIT have found that there’s a simple neurological loop at the

core of every habit. The loop consists of three paths: a cue, a routine, and a reward.

Over time, this loop – cue, routine, reward, cue, routine, reward – becomes more and

more automatic until a habit is born. By using this model to break a habit into these

three components, it becomes possible to �ddle with the gears to make your strengths

habits easier, more enjoyable, and lasting.

The problem I found in applying this simple loop was … well, life gets busy. Bosses are

demanding. Projects need juggling. And families and friends are waiting. There just

never seemed to be enough time to �t everything in. Eventually, sick of hearing my own

excuses about why I was too busy to ever start, I decided I’d try just for 10 minutes each

day to develop my strengths so I could start living more of the life I wanted.

Now, there was no science behind the 10 minutes. It was simply that it was excuse-proof.

No matter how busy my day was, I could always �nd 10 minutes somewhere, be it getting

up a little earlier in the morning, squeezing it in at lunch, or doing it before I went to bed.



3.

How can you create the changes that you crave?

However, after learning more about our neurological habit loops, I discovered that an

11-minute strength development habit was a far more effective way to leverage the

science. Let me explain why.

A cue can be almost anything, from a visual trigger such as a chocolate, or a TV

commercial, to a certain place, a time of day, an emotion, a sequence of thoughts,

or the company of particular people. It just needs to be clear and simple. So I started

using the �rst 30 seconds to make it easier to identify the cue that would set my habit

off. And this helped to lower the amount of activation energy my brain needed to kick

the habit into gear.

Once the habit’s started, you want to spend some time simply practicing the routine so

that you can build up the neural connections that will support the behavior. Now, the

routine can be physical, mental, or emotional, and it can be incredibly complex or

fantastically simple. So, I began using these 10 minutes routines to simply engage one

of my strengths in a way that I helped create that feeling of �ow and allowed me to hit

my golden mean.

The last piece was the one that I had always overlooked in my rush to get the next thing

on my to-do list, and yet it’s perhaps the most important. And that’s taking the time to

celebrate whatever it is you’ve done. You see, when you reward yourself for your habits,

it activates a cascade of the happy hormone dopamine in your brain, and this helps to

build neurological cravings for this particular behavior. It means you’re much more likely

to want to do it next time and that the habit will stick faster. So, I started making sure in

the last 30 seconds of my habit that I took the time to celebrate what I had achieved and

started creating those cravings for more of it.



4.

Well as Simon Sinek, one of the world’s leading researchers on leadership discovered:

“The trick to balance is to not make sacri�cing important things become the norm.”

Strengths-based habits are powerful because they ensure that the important things,

like developing your strengths each day, becomes the norm to a point where you don’t

even have to think too hard about it.

Research suggests that there are four ways that you can create cues for a new habit,

and the good news is none of them will take you more than 30 seconds. In fact, some

of them don’t even need that.

The �rst way is to anchor it to an existing habit you already have, like getting out of bed

each morning, travelling into work, turning on your computer, grabbing your morning

coffee, packing up to go home, or anything else that’s part of your regular routine.

The existing habit becomes a cue for the new habit to follow. For example, when I

wanted to use my strength of curiosity more in my work, I anchored it to turning on

my computer each morning.

The second thing you can do is to embed the cue into your environment so you almost

literally fall into the habit. It’s unavoidable. So, when I was working on building my

strength of curiosity, I would leave a book that I was reading across the keyboard, so

I couldn’t turn my computer on without picking up the book. Once it was in my hand

the easiest thing in the world was to read it.



5.

Why are habits so powerful?

How can you make it easy to get your habits started?

Once your habit is all cued up what will you practice so you can train your brain to

develop your strengths more frequently and truly show up, shine, and succeed in

your work?



6.

The third approach you can try is based on research coming out of Harvard, which is

called “when/then programming.” Now, this helps your brain minimize the choices it

needs to make so that when you �nd yourself in a situation, then your brain already

knows what you need to be doing. So, for example, “When I get to work, then I will spend

10 minutes learning something new” was the one that I used when I was working on

my curiosity habit. Or you could try, when I go to the restaurant, then I will order the

healthy salad; when I get to work, then I will spend ten minutes checking in with a

colleague; or when I eat my lunch, then I will research one new idea.

Finally, research into our old friend self-regulation suggests that it’s better to cue up

new habits earlier in the day when your tank of self-regulation is full. As your self-regulation

depletes over the course of the day, you’ll �nd it harder to get your habit activated.

You can combine all of these approaches to create super-charged cues to get your

habit started, or just use the one that works best for you. Just try to ensure that your

cue – in addition to triggering your routine – also triggers a craving for the reward.

You see, when your brain starts to associate cues with certain rewards, a subconscious

craving emerges that starts the habit loop spinning. Cravings are what drive habits and

make forming a new habit easier. So, as the cue triggers your behavior, give yourself a

moment to really anticipate and savor the reward that will follow to make your habit

more automatic.

What will you practice?

If your hope map suggests improving a habit you’ve been underplaying you’re going

to need to wire that new strength habit into your brain by practicing the behavior again

and again so you get that loop really working. So for example when I wanted to use my

strength of gratitude more then I practiced once a day taking the time to thank

someone for how they made my life a little easier or a little better and getting used to

having this behavior hardwired into the way I went about my work.

If your hope map suggests consistently hitting the golden mean of a strength you’re

already using then you need to become clear on the routines that are already working

well for you and why they feel rewarding, and then set up a more regular cue so the

habit happens more frequently. For example, when I wanted to use my strength of

curiosity every day – not just occasionally – I created a daily cue by leaving my book

across my computer to ensure I took the time to read and learn one new thing each

day, rather than just reading when I had a spare moment to �t it in.

On the other hand, if your hope map suggests there’s a strength you’re overplaying then

you might actually need to rewire an existing habit that’s undermining your performance.

You can do this by keeping the old cue and delivering the old reward, but inserting a

new routine.

For example, when I wanted to work on improving my strength of zest as a leader so I

wasn’t constantly leaving half of my team behind me, I learnt that there was a cue – an

emotion of excitement about a new idea – that would trigger off this behavior. There was

also the reward of feeling like we were working on something really exciting that was

going to make a difference for the business. So I kept both of those elements but I learnt

to insert a new routine. Instead of running off and thinking of 101 ways we could execute

an idea, I changed my routine to run towards my team and sit down to have a conversation

about all the ways they thought we might be able to come together to execute the idea.

I still got the reward of that feeling that we were making progress and were going to do

something great, and even better I got to take my team with me on the journey instead of

leaving them behind.



7.

So your routine to improve the use of your strengths could work on wiring a new

strength habit to improve strengths you’re underplaying, building more consistently

around a strength you’re already performing well, or rewiring an old strength habit to

improve strengths you’re overplaying. You’ll �nd more than 70 different

strength-development habits you can try in the appendix of my book Your

Strengths Blueprint.

Once you’ve completed your routine, it’s important that you take the time to celebrate

what you’ve achieved. Don’t make the same mistake I did for years by rushing forward

and not actually acknowledging what you’ve done. Rewards are the secret to

consolidating your habits because they trigger a cascade of dopamine in your brain that

helps to accelerate the creation of those neural connections you’ve been building and

helps to create neurological cravings.

Most of the time, these cravings emerge so gradually that we’re not really aware they exist,

so we’re often completely blind to their in�uence. But as we associate cues with certain

rewards, a subconscious craving emerges in our brains that starts our habit loop spinning.

Again, it doesn’t have to be a big exercise. Thirty seconds is often enough to make the

reward happen.

Rewards can range from experiences that cause pleasurable physical sensations – such

as food or relaxation – to emotional payoffs, like the feelings of pride that accompany

praise or self-congratulation. For example, you might treat yourself to a green smoothie,

a relaxing massage, or a new book to read. Or you might tick your habit off the list, use

social media to share your accomplishments with friends, or report what you’ve achieved

to a coach. Just try to do something in order to ensure a natural rush of dopamine hits your

brain and sets up the craving for repeating the habit again.



8.

What will you do to celebrate your habit?



9.

Often we’re not conscious of the cravings that drive our behaviors, so initially you may

need to experiment with different rewards to see what works best for you. If you can, try

to stay away from chocolate or alcohol and choose a reward that’s good for your body,

mind, and soul.

For me, I’m a bit anal, so I often like to tick things off the list. Sometimes, when I do my

running habit, I come home across the porch with a happy dance so that I get the muscle

memory for it. When I was working on my curiosity habit, I decided my reward would be

sharing what I’d learnt with at least one other person. I love sharing new knowledge with

other people, and getting to talk about it with somebody gave me that lovely rush of

dopamine to the brain.

There’s no doubt, and anyone who knows me well would agree, that learning how to use

my strengths in these 11-minute habit loops made a signi�cant difference in my ability to

be able to consistently and truly show up, shine, and succeed in my work. Finally, the

excuses were gone. My �xed mindsets started to shift as I focused on the effort I was

making rather than just the outcomes and as a result my “not good enough” stories

started to melt away. Day by day as I grew more con�dent about my ability to apply my

strengths, and how I could use these small habits to put my hope map into action, my

strengths-fueled future started to come closer and closer to reality.

As Glenda the Good Witch famously said, “You always had the power, my dear, you just

had to learn it for yourself.”

The secret to using your habits to show up, shine, and succeed

As you get ready to play with creating strengths-based habits, there’s one more element

that I want to give you as you get started, and that’s �nding the grace to hold your habits

lightly.

To consistently show up, shine, and succeed, you need to hold yourself accountable to

your habits, your hopes, and your best possible self, so that you can face the truth about

any gaps that might arise between your intentions and your actual behaviors. And that

way, you can adjust your course or celebrate your efforts as required.



10.

But it’s important that holding your own feet to the �re doesn’t require judging or

punishing yourself when you fall short. Instead, take the time to investigate what’s

happening and why, and correct your efforts as required.

In the words of Samuel Beckett who said, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again.

Fail again. Fail better.” Remember that growth mindset.

Below this video you’ll �nd a play sheet called ‘My Strength Development Habit’ to guide

you through these steps. Again, listen to the explanation and the examples I’ll give as it’ll

make your play much easier.

We’re going to turn one of your hope pathways into a new habit that can develop one of

your strengths each day in your work for at least the next month. To achieve this pathway,

you’re going to start by thinking about which strengths-based habit you could build.

Again, you might want to work on a strength that you’re underplaying, a strength you want

to do more consistently, or a strength that you’re overplaying.

Whichever you choose, think about how you can use the first 30 seconds to automate

and accelerate getting started. Remember to use your environment, anchor it to things

you already do, try when/then programming, and do it early in the day.

What will you practice for 10 minutes each day just to use your strength in a way that

enables you to truly show up, shine, and succeed? Remember the appendix of my book

Your Strengths Blueprint has more than 70 different strength development habits you can

try.

And then how will you use the last 30 seconds to celebrate your success? How will you

get that reward and build that neurological craving so that you’ll want to do more of this

habit each day?

Ready to put it to the test?

For example ...



11.

If I was going to create an 11-minute strengths-based habit based on one of my hope

pathways, which was to use my in�uence and gratitude strengths for 11 minutes each

day to nurture the community I’m building through social media, then it might look a little

something like this: When I turn on my computer in the morning, then I will spend 10

minutes reaching out and supporting others on social media through Hootsuite and keep

a list of relationships I’m building.

You can see there I’ve put a couple of cues in to try and make it easy to get started. I’ve

got a when/then statement: when I turn on my computer, then I will spend 10 minutes.

I’ve cued it up early in the day when I’m likely to have more self-regulation, and I’ve tried

to anchor it to a habit that I already have, like turning on my computer, which is something

that happens every morning.

Then I’m being speci�c about what I’ll spend 10 minutes doing: reaching out and

supporting others on social media. This is a great way to use my in�uence and gratitude

strengths together to build my tribe.

And then to reward my efforts, I’m going to keep a list of the relationships I’m building.

This way, I can see the progress that I’m making and how my tribe is building and

growing over time, and what I’m able to give back to others.

Now it might be hard to imagine that 11-minutes a day of anything is going to make much

of a difference in your life, and to be honest I was skeptical as well when I started. But

starting seemed better than doing nothing and so I gave my curiosity developing habit

my best shot. Each day when I got to work I’d spend ten minutes reading and I’d write

down one new thing that I’d learnt and on a Friday I’d package these up in an email and

send them to my boss with the three things I’d learnt this week and the ideas they’d

prompted about how we could work better together.

What have we learnt today?



12.

This habit began as a sanity saver in a job I didn’t really like and it helped me to start

looking forward to getting to work each day. But something interesting happened as

this tiny habit quickly became the highlight of my day. As the weekly emails accumulated

my boss started to see my strengths differently and rather than just seeing me as the

marketing executive I’d been, he began to recognize my passion and ability to bring out

the best in people.

This was instrumental in him later promoting me to a HR position that was much better

suited to my strengths and really had me looking forward to getting into work. He also

began forwarding this email to people inside and outside the company and soon it

reached more than 100 people every week. When I was finally ready to leave the company

this list of people became my �rst clients for the business I run today. All of this from

11-minutes of developing of my strengths each day so I could show up, shine, and succeed

at what mattered to me most.

So if you had the gift of 11 minutes a day just to do what you do best, to show up, shine,

and succeed at what matters to you most, where would you start?

Building positive habits to guide you rather than govern you is the busy-proof way to turn

hopes into reality. Think of that 40% of activity every day that you’re probably not even

aware of doing.

Habits are created by identifying our cues, understanding our routines, and using rewards

to meet our neurological cravings.



13.

It takes just 11-minutes a day to give yourself the gift of developing your strengths so

you can show up, shine, and succeed at work. You can cue up your habit in just 30

seconds by anchoring it to a habit you already have, embedding it in your environment,

using a when/then statement, and relying on your old friend self-regulation by starting

early in the day. Then for ten minutes practice your strengths-development routine

(remember there are more than 70 examples for these in the appendix of my book).

And make sure you use the last 30 seconds to reward your efforts and set up that

craving for more of this habit.

Don’t be rigid in your habits. If you miss a day, it’s okay. Turn up tomorrow and start

again. If you don’t quite land it where you want that habit to be, that’s okay, try at

something differently tomorrow. Have the grace to hold them lightly and appreciate

the value that they bring.

So knowing without doing is a waste of your time. Complete the “My Strength

Development Habit” Play Sheet now. Start with one habit. And you might expect the

�rst 10 days are going to feel a little awkward, but when it starts to become easier

and easier, then you know you’re ready to build in a new strengths habit. Hold your

habit lightly. If it’s not providing you with joy, then keep experimenting with the habit

until it’s something you �nd rewarding. Remember, developing your strengths is meant

to be engaging, and energizing, and enjoyable, and your habit should feel this way as well.

Thank you so much for joining me. Until next time, take care.

The Busy-Proof Way To Lasting Change€¦ · Habits shouldn’t constrain you, they shouldn’t...

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