The Bridge Session2
Transcript of The Bridge Session2
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Characteristics of Christian Leadership
With due credit to: John Piper, Jack Hayford, J Oswald Sanders,
Bob Gordon…and a few others
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• What do you think are theessential characteristics of a
leader in the Kingdom of God?
• What should a man of God
look like in the way he / shelives their life each day?
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1. What is this?
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1. What is this?Change is here to stay!
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Watch this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmwwrGV_aiE
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1. Restless
Leaders know the world ischanging rapidly - they
know they need tounderstand change andwhere to adapt because of
change, where to adoptnew things and where toignore it (due to its lack of relevance to their arena).
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• Spiritual leaders have a holydiscontentment with the status quo
• They are unhappy to let things
remain the same• Non-leaders have inertia
• Leaders want change, movement,
growth - new dimensions of ministry
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• Can you think of
biblical examplesof restless people?
• Are there any
specifically giftedpeople whowould be less or
more likely toaccept / welcomechange?
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Rogers Bell Curve
Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low
• This is called the Rogers Bell Curve andit represents the rate of taking up new
ideas / innovations within a “typical”society / group
• Look at it and consider what if any are
the implications for church leaders
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Rogers Bell Curve
Likelihood of acting / changingHigh Low
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Philippians 3
12Not that I have already obtained all this, orhave already been made perfect, but I press onto take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took
hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not considermyself yet to have taken hold of it. But onething I do: Forgetting what is behind and
straining toward what is ahead, 14I press ontoward the goal to win the prize for which Godhas called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
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2. Optimistic
• Spiritual leaders areoptimistic because God isin control
• Their confidence is basedupon the goodness of Godmanifested in Jesus Christ
• Without optimismrestlessness becomes
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2. Optimistic
• Spiritual leaders areoptimistic because God isin control
• Their confidence is basedupon the goodness of Godmanifested in Jesus Christ
• Without optimismrestlessness becomes
despair
What Biblical verses
and situations showus the need to be
optimistic due toGod’s sovereignty?
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Romans 8
28And we know that in all things God
works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose...32, He who did not spare his
own Son, but gave him up for us all—
how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
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3. Intense
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3. Intense
• Romans 12:8 …if your gift isleadership, “do it with zeal.”
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3. Intense
• Romans 12:8 …if your gift isleadership, “do it with zeal.”
• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in
zeal, boil in the spirit!”
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3. Intense
• Romans 12:8 …if your gift isleadership, “do it with zeal.”
• Romans 12:11 … “Never flag in
zeal, boil in the spirit!”
• Jesus cleansing the temple, "Zeal foryour house has consumed me" John
2:17
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Jonathan Edwardswrote a list of approx.seventy resolutions.
One of which says:
“To live with all
my might while Ilive.”
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Jonathan Edwardswrote a list of approx.seventy resolutions.
One of which says:
“To live with all
my might while Ilive.”
1. Resolved, That I will do whatsoever I think to be most
to the glory of God, and my own good, profit, and
pleasure, in the whole of my duration; without anyconsideration of the time, whether now, or never so
many myriads of ages hence. Resolved, to do whatever I
think to be my duty, and most for the good andadvantage of mankind in general. Resolved, so to do,
whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and
how great soever.
2. Resolved, To be continually endeavouring to find out
some new contrivance and invention to promote the
forementioned things.
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Count Zinzendorf of theMoravians said,
“I have one passion.It is He and He
alone.”
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“If I had 1,000lives, I'd give
them all for China”
Hudson Taylor
(1832-1905)
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“Expectgreat thingsfrom God;
attemptgreat things
for God”
William Carey
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4. Self-controlled
• Gal. 5:23 – a fruit of the Spirit not merewillpower
• Allowing the power of God to masteryour emotions, appetites etc.
• Master of our desires and drives
• Spiritual leaders ruthlessly track down bad habits and break them by thepower of the Spirit
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1 Cor. 6:12,
“Everything is permissible for
me”—but not everything isbeneficial. “Everything is
permissible for me”—but I will not
be mastered by anything.”
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•Jeremiah 18 I went
down to the potter's
house, and I saw him
working at the wheel. 4
But the pot he wasshaping from the clay was
marred in his hands; so
the potter formed it intoanother pot, shaping it as
seemed best to him.
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• Examine your life to seewhether you are enslaved by
leisure: television, alcohol,
coffee, cricket, computer games:people, crises, meetings, your
work and call
• 1 Cor. 9:25ff
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• A work matrix
developed by
StephenCovey - usedto assess and
prioritisework
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• A work matrix
developed by
StephenCovey - usedto assess and
prioritisework
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5. Thick-skinned
• In leading others you will becriticised
• You cannot aim to please others andseek their approval. Gal 1:10
• If criticism disables us, we will never
make it as spiritual leaders - wemight be hurt, but must not be
disabled by it
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5. Thick-skinned
• In leading others you will becriticised
• You cannot aim to please others andseek their approval. Gal 1:10
• If criticism disables us, we will never
make it as spiritual leaders - wemight be hurt, but must not be
disabled by it
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•Criticism is one of Satan's favouriteweapons to try to geteffective Christian
leaders to quit•Being thick skinneddoes not mean being
closed to legitimatecriticism - humbly acceptand apply just criticism
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Look for the truth in every
criticism that comes your way
Criticism can either be just orunjust, objective or unfounded –
the motive behind the criticism
is almost immaterial, your
response is most important
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1. Consider the Source
What is their motivation for criticising?Constructive criticism (loving) or habitualcomplaining.
Experience will help you discern thedifference. Are they people who tear
down rather than build up?Matthew 12.34...out of the overflow of the
heart the mouth speaks
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2. Consider the Observation
See beyond and consider the truth behind the criticism
Will it develop my leadership style orsharpen my effectiveness as a leader?
Proverbs 12.1 speaks plainly:"…he who hates correction is stupid."
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3. Practice Forgiveness
Don’t hit back at the person defending
yourself or by reciprocating with evenharsher criticism.
Exercise grace, mercy and forgiveness
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6. Energetic
• Lazy people cannot be leaders
• Eph. 5:16 making the best use of the
time, because the days are evil.• 1 Cor. 15:58, Therefore, my dear
brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move
you. Always give yourselves fully to thework of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain
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• ‘The world is run by tired men’
• Learn to live with pressure – such
as deadlines, demands for yourtime
• Don’t waste time in excess leisure
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Promises like Matt. 11:28 and Php 4:7,
Isaiah 64:4 prevent pressure becominga worry
28 Come to me, all who labour and are heavy
laden, and I will give you rest...7 And the peaceof God,which surpasses all understanding, will
guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus...From of old no one has heard or perceivedby the ear, no eye has seen a God besides
you, who acts for those who wait for him.
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7. A hard thinker
• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking bemature!" 1 Cor. 14:20
• It is not easy to be a leader of peoplewho can outthink you!
• A leader must be one who, when hesees a set of circumstances, thinksabout it
Who do you think of asthe “great thinkers” in the
Bible?
What do you think ofmost?
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7. A hard thinker
• "Be babes in evil, but in thinking bemature!" 1 Cor. 14:20
• It is not easy to be a leader of peoplewho can outthink you!
• A leader must be one who, when hesees a set of circumstances, thinksabout it
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• Leaders are critical (analytical) -not gullible or faddish or
trendy, weighing things andconsidering pros and cons
• Having a significant rationalefor the decisions that he makes
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• Leaders are critical (analytical) -not gullible or faddish or
trendy, weighing things andconsidering pros and cons
• Having a significant rationalefor the decisions that he makes
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• What are the current areas affectingsociety that you need to be thinking
about as a church leader
• What changes are most affecting the
day-to-day lives of your people?• In what areas do you as a pastor need
to be thinking ahead of your people?
• What should you think about politics,the price of onions, the LOC inKashmir?
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8 A ti l t k l l
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8. Articulate - speak clearly and well
• ar·tic·u·late • (of a person or a person's words)
Having or showing the ability tospeak fluently and coherently.
• Express (an idea or feeling) fluentlyand coherently
• Stating your thoughts clearly
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• Paul persuaded men 2 Cor. 5:11• Colossians 4:4 Paul asked the people
to pray for him, “that I might make it
clear , as I ought to speak.”• Do you complete sentences?
• Is there a progression in yourdiscussion / argument
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9. Able to Teach
1 Timothy 3:2 -
anyone who aspiresto the office of
overseer in the
church should beable to teach
Who was the
best teacher
you ever had?
What made
them a good
teacher?
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9. Able to Teach
1 Timothy 3:2 -
anyone who aspiresto the office of
overseer in the
church should beable to teach
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Wh t i d
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• What is a good
teacher? A few
suggestions from JohnPiper
• Asks himself hard
questions , works
through to answers,
frames provocative
questions for his
learners to stimulate
their thinking
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•Sees the problems
learners will have with his
subject matter and
encourages them and gets
them over the humps of discouragement
•Foresees objections and
thinks them through sothat he can answer them
intelligently
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•Explains hard thingsin terms that are clear
•Is concrete , not
abstract, specific, not
general, precise, not
vague, vulnerable, not
evasive
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•Asks, "So what?" –
relating all issues /
discoveries to life
•Aims for
transformation of life
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Focus on what Scripture hasto say, not your own ideas
and opinions.And allow the Holy Spirit to
make application according to
each members need
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Maintain an atmosphere of love
and acceptance.
Leads to open discussion.
Never put down a person’scomments or contributions
Ask simple, clear, open-endedquestions.
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10. A Good Judge of Character
• Jesus knew the hearts of men Jn. 2:24,
But Jesus would not entrust himself to
them, for he knew all men. He did not needman’s testimony about man, for he knew
what was in a man.
• Jesus urged us to be perceptive inassessing others Matt. 7:15ff
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15"Watch out for false prophets. They come to
you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they areferocious wolves. 16By their fruit you willrecognize them. Do people pick grapes fromthornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17Likewise
every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18A good tree cannot bear badfruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.
19Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cutdown and thrown into the fire. 20Thus, by theirfruit you will recognize them.
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21"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only hewho does the will of my Father who is inheaven. 22Many will say to me on that day,
'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name,and in your name drive out demons andperform many miracles?' 23Then I will tell them
plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, youevildoers!'
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h h
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• Know who is fit for what kind of work
• Detect potential
• Quickly hear the echoes of pride and
hypocrisy and worldliness
• Is careful not to pigeonhole people
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11. ??
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11. ??
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11. Tactful - sensitive,
understanding thoughtful
• Colossians 4:5, 6, Be wise in the way you
act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation
be always full of grace, seasoned with salt,
so that you may know how to answereveryone.
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•Proverbs 25:11- A word
aptly spoken is like apples of
gold in settings of silver.
•Tact wins peoples
confidence•Do people hang their
heads in embarrassment
at the inappropriate orinsensitive things you say
or do?
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•Tact is needed in
confrontation – are you
unwilling to approach a
person who needs
correction or rebuke?•There is a big difference
between saying, "Your
foot is too big for thisshoe" and "This shoe is too
small for your foot"
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12 ??
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12. ??
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12 Th l i ll O i t d
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12. Theologically Oriented
• God centred focussed - all of life has to
do with God
• Colossians 3:17• 1 Corinthians 2:16
• If we are to lead people to see and reflect
God's glory, we must think theologically
about everything
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k d h f ll h
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• Work toward a synthesis of all things -
see how things fit together…war sports,
pornography, birthdays, literature, spacetravel, disease etc.
• How do they relate to God and hispurposes?
• Knows about God and his ways - so that
things generally fit into a pattern andmake sense even when they are
unpleasant - Eph 5:10
• I worship in a church that announces birthdays and wedding anniversaries each
week during the service - what is a biblical
perspective on this ‘celebration’• Does God have any interest in sport? Does
he care if India wins the cricket world
cup? Should we?
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W k d h f ll h
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• Work toward a synthesis of all things -
see how things fit together…war sports,
pornography, birthdays, literature, spacetravel, disease etc.
• How do they relate to God and hispurposes?
• Knows about God and his ways - so that
things generally fit into a pattern andmake sense even when they are
unpleasant - Eph 5:10
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13. ??
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13 A Visionary
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13. A Visionary
• Prov. 29:18
• Joel 2:28 – dreamer
• Acts 26: 19
• The positive counterpart to
restlessness. We must not only be
discontent with the present but alsodreaming dreams of what could be in
the future
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• 2 Kings 6:15-17• Leaders can see the power
of God overshadowing the
problems of the future• Most people are experts at
seeing all the problems
and reasons not to moveforward in a venture
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No significant life can be livedfor God, nor can any significant
work be done for God, unless it
is grounded firmly on the realityof spiritual vision. God-given
vision is what lifts the Christianfrom the level of the ordinary…
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…and enables them to achieve
great things for God…thespiritual vision (these) people get
from God takes hold of them andsets them up for life - all they cando is serve the vision God has
given to themBob Gordon
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When God gives a vision by His
Spirit through His word of whatHe wants, and your mind and
soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of the vision, you will
sink into servitude to a point of view which our Lord never had...
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…You can never be the same
after the unveiling of a truth.That moment marks you for
going on as a more true discipleof Jesus Christ, or for going back
as a deserterOswald Chambers
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•The Availability of the
leader.
• When help or counsel wasneeded the leader was
there
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•The Commitment of the
leader.
• The knowledge that the leader
was committed to the peopleto help them grow and
develop as people kept them joyfully engaged in the task
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•The Vision that the man was
able to impart to them.
• In this he communicated a plan by which their lives became
significant
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Effects of Vision
These will be shown in the life of the leader
but then as they cast the vision the people
will show them too
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1. It gives life
I am called
It provides a life-changing thrust with
new direction and purpose to our lives
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• Examples:
• Jacob / Israel
Genesis 32:22–32
• Jerubaal / Gideon Judges 6,7
• Abram / AbrahamGenesis 17:1–27
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"Dissatisfaction and
discouragement are not caused by
the absence of things but theabsence of vision."
Anonymous
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2. It is Motivating
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g
I will, I can
Vision has goals
implicit within it
Vision carries the
seed of God'spurpose for our
lives
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• The revelation Moses received at the
burning bush contained more than
merely a personal word for Moses, itcarried within it the seed of God's
purpose for His people
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• God would not have called us to go
this way, if we did not have what ittakes in Him to fulfil our part of Hisvision
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3. It is Constraining
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3. It is Constraining
I must only
• People with God's
vision in theirhearts from then
on can only dothings that are in
line with it
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• Life is moulded and shaped by it
• Cut themselves off from their old
life• Moses’ vision was specific
• It had outline and content
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H t f t
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• He was not free to
go beyond that• Moses was told by
God, ‘See that you
make themaccording to the
pattern shown youon the mountain.’
Ex 25:40
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4. It is Sanctifying
I will not
• Get their act together
• Discipline their life in order to
serve God
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• No longer want to please
themselves, but now want to settheir lives apart for God and His
service
• Moses was told, ‘Put off your shoes
from your feet, for the place on
which you are standing is holyground’ Ex 3:5
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• God cut Moses off;
• from his old life
• from any other plans or ideashe might have had
• He could not live for anythingelse ever again
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Some Qualities of Visionary
Leaders
• Prayerful - seeking God's leading
• Aware of God's prompting
• Able to translate vision into action -
a capacity for working to make thevision a reality
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• Personally committed - even if it is
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• Personally committed - even if it isnot an easy task, the need to remain
committed despite opposition
• Able to communicate the vision -
the needed to enlist the support of the people, and share the vision withtheir people so that they became
committed to it.
• Persevering
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"Vision is essential for survival It is
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Vision is essential for survival. It isspawned by faith, sustained by hope,sparked by imagination andstrengthened by enthusiasm. It isgreater than sight, deeper than a dream, broader than an idea. Visionencompasses vast vistas outside therealm of the predictable, the safe, theexpected. No wonder we perish withoutit!”
Charles Swindoll
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14. ??
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14. ??
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14. Decisive
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• In 1 Kings 18:21 Elijah cries out, "Howlong will you go limping with twodifferent opinions: if the Lord is God follow
him; but if Baal then follow him."• A leader cannot be paralysed by
indecisiveness
• He will take risks rather than donothing
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•Leaders soak inprayer and the Wordand then rest in God's
sovereignty, knowingthat he will verylikely make some
mistakes
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15...
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Wednesday, 28 August 13
15. Restful
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• Ps. 127:1,2 - Ultimately productivity restsin God
• Jesus said to his busy disciples, "Come
away by yourselves to a lonely place andrest a while” Mk. 6:31 – also Matt 11:28ff
• Ex. 20:9,10
• Not so addicted to work that he is unableto rest
• A good steward of his life and health
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“Psalm 23 Antithesis”
The clock is my dictator; I shall not rest.
It makes me lie down only when exhausted.
It leads me to deep depression.
It hounds my soul.
It leads me in circles of frenzy for activity’s sake.
Even though I run frantically from task to task,
I will never get it all done,For my “ideal” is with me.
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Deadlines and my need for approval, they drive me.
They demand performance from me, beyond thelimits of my schedule.
They anoint my head with migraines.
My in-basket overflows.Surely fatigue and time pressure shall follow me allthe days of my life,
And I will dwell in the bonds of frustration forever.
Marcia K. Hornok
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16. Anointed
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16. Anointed
• Acts 10:38
• Isaiah 10:27
• Jesus is called the
Christ
• The Anointed One
• Matt 16:13ff
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The Anointing
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Our relationship with [the]
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Holy Spirit
• Baptised Acts 1:5
•
Comes on 1:8• Filled 2:4
•Received 8:17
• Poured out 10:45
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• Lied to 5:3
• Tested 5:8
• Resisted 7:51
• Grieved Eph 4:30
•
Quenched 1Th 5:19• Insulted Heb 10:29
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• Antioch Acts
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Antioch Acts
11:26...For a whole
year they met with the
church and taught a
great many people.
And in Antioch the
disciples were first
called Christians.
• What does this
imply for us
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• OT background is
physical &spiritual
• Exodus
30:22-25
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•The goodness of the
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•The goodness of the
constituents isreleased in the
crushing and mixing
• Perfume, fragrance
• Taste
• The need for brokenness
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• Jacob – Genesis 32
• Isaiah – Isaiah 6
• Jesus – on the cross
• David – rebellion of Absalom,death of Bathsheba's child
• 1 Corinthians 1:26-29• 2 Corinthians 4:7ff
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•It is a holy anointing oil• Set apart for God
• People – Aaron Ps 133
• Things Ex. 30:26ff
• Same physically but spiritually
different! 1 Cor 4:9
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• 2 Samuel 6• David feared God – verse 9
• Feared to touch the anointedmen of God
• 1 Sam 24:4, Ps 105:15, 1 Sam
26:9ff, Heb 10:31
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• Holiness becomes a dynamicprinciple
• Not simply a moral attribute
• God’s anointing brings the value
• Ps 51:10-12
• Heb 12:14
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“[i h li ] Th b i id
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“[in holiness] The basic idea
is not that of separation ... butthe positive thought of
encounter which inevitablydemands certain modes of
response.”H. Seebas
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• It brings a fear of the Lord
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• It brings a fear of the Lord
• A sense of the personal presence of God
• Seen in David 1 Samuel 6
• Acts 2:43
• 1 Samuel 11:6-7
• Prov. 1:7, 8:13, 9:10, 10:27,14:27,15:33, 16:6, 19:23
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Man does notpossess the
anointing – theanointing possesses
man
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The example of Jesus - Luke 4
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•Anointing can attract or repel
• Luke 4:1, 14, 18ff
• 4:14 – attraction – power of Sp.
• 4:22ff – repels
• Recognition
• Demons Lk 4:33ff, Mk 5:9• By men Jn 19 – Pilate recognised
Jesus’ authority, Matt 8:8ff Wednesday, 28 August 13
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•Spirit of the Lord is upon…
• Coming on of HS – frequent in OT
• Judges 6:34 – Gideon
• Judges 13:25 – Samson• Acts 2
• Acts 4• Acts 7:55
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•An apostolic spirit – an impetus tosend
• Apostle – from Greek for sent one
• 2 Corinthians 2:17
• Matt 28:18ff
• Acts 13
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•A dynamic spirit
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•A dynamic spirit
• Real, active power• Acts 10:38
• Acts 2:22 – Gods accreditation –Matt 3:16, 17 – accredited by/ toGod first
• 1 Cor 2:4• Acts 1:8
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17...
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17. Full of Faith
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• Heb 11:6
7 principles of faith
1. Relationship - Matt.6:9
2. Openness - 1 Sam. 3, Speak Lord
3. Memory – Ebeneezers /Thanksgiving
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18
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18...
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18. Persevering
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•Matthew 24:13
•Galatians 6:9…Let
us not become wearyin doing good, for atthe proper time we
will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
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•Today immediate gratification is
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usually demanded – so very few people
excel in the virtue of perseverance andkeep on in the same ministry when
there is significant difficulty
•Vision without perseverance results in
fairy tales not fruitful ministry
•The long haul is hard, but it pays - the big tree is felled by many, many little
chops
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Qualifications for Overseers
3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyoneaspires to the office of overseer, he desires anoble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a
drunkard, not violent but gentle, notquarrelsome,not a lover of money.
What does theBible say?
2 key passages:1 Timothy 3:7-13
Titus 1:5-9
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Qualifications for Overseers
3 The saying is trustworthy: If anyoneaspires to the office of overseer, he desires anoble task.2 Therefore an overseer[a]must be
above reproach, the husband of one wife,[b]sober-minded, self-controlled,respectable,hospitable, able to teach,3 not a
drunkard, not violent but gentle, notquarrelsome,not a lover of money.
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4 He must manage his own household well
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4 He must manage his own household well,
with all dignity keeping his childrensubmissive, 5 for if someone does not knowhow to manage his own household, how willhe care for God's church? 6 He must not be arecent convert, or he may become puffed upwith conceit and fall into the condemnationof the devil.7 Moreover, he must be well
thought of by outsiders, so that he may notfall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.
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Qualifications for Deacons8 Deacons likewise must be dignified, notdouble-tongued, not addicted to much wine,
not greedy for dishonest gain. 9 They musthold the mystery of the faith with a clear
conscience.10 And let them also be tested first;then let them serve as deacons if they prove
themselves blameless.
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11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, notslanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all
things. 12 Let deacons each be the husband of one wife,managing their children and theirown households well.13 For those who servewell as deacons gain a good standing forthemselves and also great confidence in the
faith that is in Christ Jesus.
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Qualifications for Elders5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that youmight put what remained into order, and
appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husbandof one wife, and his children are believers andnot open to the charge of debauchery or
insubordination.
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7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be
above reproach. He must not be arrogant orquick-tempered or a drunkard or violent orgreedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of
good, self-controlled, upright, holy, anddisciplined. 9 He must hold firm to thetrustworthy word as taught, so that he may be
able to give instruction in sound doctrine andalso to rebuke those who contradict it.
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Above Reproach
(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)
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( , ; )
This is the summarising characteristic.
“Guiltless, blameless,
having clean hands, sinless”
In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life abovereproach is the first requirement in both lists.
Thomas suggests that the other items on the listexplain what “above reproach” means.
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Above Reproach
(Titus 1:6, 7; 1 Tim 3:2)
“ l d d b
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( )
This is the summarising characteristic.
“Guiltless, blameless,
having clean hands, sinless”
In the lists in 1Timothy and Titus living a life abovereproach is the first requirement in both lists.
Thomas suggests that the other items on the listexplain what “above reproach” means.
“as a leader you are supposed to be
above reproach, and what thatmeans is that you can’t even give
the appearance that you’re going to
do something wrong”Kevin Thomas
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Rob Wilkersonhttp://www.robwilkerson.net/2010/05/what-is-character-of-gospel-
driven_06.html
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1. A Pastor must be
devoted to his wife
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One-woman man (Titus 1:6; 1Tim 3:2).
The pastor’s marriageillustrates Christ’s love forHis church—His bride (Eph.5:22 ff.). A Pastor must love
his wife exclusively with hismind, will and emotions andnot just his body.
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Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in
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an understanding way , showing honour to
the woman as the weaker vessel, since they
are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7
...in an understanding way - that means that
we need to know our wife , not just women ingeneral.
[http://www.acts29network.org/acts-29-blog/this-beautiful-mess-called-marriage/]
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•It isn't what you get out of
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y gmarriage but what you put
into it that brings glory toGod.
•Do you know your wife'sneeds? Have you discussedthem with her? Have you
asked her what kind of
husband she wants you tobe?
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CJ Mahaney suggests three waysthat husbands can nourish and
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cherish their wives (particularly
in the context of ministry).
1. Care for her soul.
Care for the children in themorning - she can have adevotional time and get ready forthe day.
Help with her spiritual diet -share good books etc.
Give her half of your day off
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Protect your wife re
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yher involvement in thechurch. Your wife is not theassociate pastor
Identify her gifts, her capacity
Protect her fromdiscouragement
Encourage her and her
personal example as wife andmother of our children.
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2. Cultivate consistent
communication
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communication.
Your wife wants to andneeds to talk - do both of you talk, do you have
time to talk?Many pastors have aweekly date night to
cultivate theirrelationship andromance.
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Do you take an interest in her world and ask herabout what she is doing?
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g
Tell her about your world and your heart - she isprobably your number 1 prayer support.
You need to relate to each other, not just relax
together.
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3. Create romantic memories.
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Husbands, it is our privilege and responsibility toromance our wives.
Be intentional about being romantic
Study your wife so that you know what would beromantic for her.
When is the last time you planned and executed a
romantic memory for your wife?
If you don’t know what to do ask her.
Wednesday, 28 August 13
Reasons why marriages
fail - by Crawford Loritts
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Immaturity – age doesn’tmean development.
Lack Of Spiritual Maturity To
udge Character Of YourMate – You marry reality, nota dream.
SelfishnessPassive Men Without MuchDrive.
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Inability For Meaningful CommunicationFear And Lack Of IntimacyLack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two
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Lack Of Connectedness With Desire For Two
Separate LivesLack Of Purposeful Family Development.Technology Hinders Ability To Communicate Face-
To-Face.Not Accepting Responsibility For Problems
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•How could I help us to reconcile our
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•How could I help us to reconcile our
misunderstandings better?•What is one way I could really serve you?
•How do I make you feel emotionally?
•What would help you to be more satisfiedsexually?
•In what ways could I help relieve physicalstress?
Wednesday, 28 August 13
2. A Pastor’s children
must be in submission
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...though not perfect (Titus 1:6; 1 Tim 3:4-5).
If a man does not know how to manage his
own family, he will not know how to takecare of God’s church.
A Pastor’s qualification for the church starts
in his home management as he leads themup in the discipline and admonition of theLord (Eph. 6:4).
Wednesday, 28 August 13
10 Strategies for Raising Healthy
Kids that Most Parents Ignore
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Prioritize familyresponsibilities overextracurricular activities. Eat together as a family.
Let kids begin to solve theirown problems.
Let kids fail when theconsequences are small.
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Don’t reward kids for theirperformance.
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Allow kids to experienceconsequences to their actions.
Don’t become a kid-centric
family.Set boundaries and useappropriate discipline.
Be real and be vulnerable.Make healthy marriage apriority.
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Praying for your children
JD and Kim Crowley
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For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.
Give them faith in Christ from an early age.
Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.
Lead them to be baptized into your church.
Make them members of a strong church withgodly elders.
Sometimes it is easy to repeat thesame (good) prayer requests for
your children. I thought thesesuggestions were excellent and
help bring freshness into yourpraying.
Wednesday, 28 August 13
Praying for your children
JD and Kim Crowley
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For their FaithGrant them a heart of repentance from sin.
Give them faith in Christ from an early age.
Fill them with your Holy Spirit, and may they bear the fruit of the Spirit.
Lead them to be baptized into your church.
Make them members of a strong church withgodly elders.
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Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.
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Make them humbly committed to daily prayer.
Give them hunger for daily Bible reading.
Fill them with love and forbearance towardothers.
Help them endure trials with faith and joy.
Help them guard their conscience.
May their lives be like the sun that rises strongerand stronger until the full of day.
Wednesday, 28 August 13
For their Wisdom
Give them hearts that constantly overflow withthankfulness
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thankfulness.
Make them peacemakers.
Give them a vocation/skill/work that provides fortheir family and is useful to society.
Give them a sense of purpose and joy in their work.
Rescue them from the fear of man.
Provide for them a good education.
Help them apply themselves diligently to theirstudies and other work.
Rescue them from laziness and dishonesty.Wednesday, 28 August 13
For their Influences and Relationships
May they be quick to forgive.
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May they be quick to forgive.
Give them godly friends all their lives who willinfluence them to love God.
Give them godly influences from “uncles and
aunts” and “substitute parents,” especially as ourinfluence wanes.
Don’t let them go through a time of teenage
rebellion.Help them remain pure and enter marriage asvirgins.
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May they marry only strong believers.
S tif d bl th i f t
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Save, sanctify, and bless their future spouse.
Keep divorce away from their lives and theirchildren’s lives for many generations.
Give them the gift of children and the grace to raise
them up in the faith of Christ.
If they are to remain single, make them unusuallyfruitful for God’s kingdom.
Protect them from predators.
Protect them from deviant sexual desires.
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For their Physical Life
Heal and protect them from sicknesses and diseases.
Protect them from accidents.
Give their country peace in their lifetime.
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3. A Pastor is a faithful
Steward (Titus 1:7)
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Here the term used is overseer (Greek episkopos). It is notanother office, but a functional
title of the elder. It is what hedoes.
He is a steward, a manager of
God’s resources and Jesus’ flock.He takes responsibility, but notownership.
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4. A Pastor must be
humble - not arrogant
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Titus 1:7
A pastor must constantly demonstrate the
gospel by admitting when he is wrong andassuming responsibility and restoringrelationships.
“Humility is honestly assessing ourselves in the
light of God’s holiness and our sinfulness” CJMahaney
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Following is an excerpt from the writings of St.J i hi h h l id tif l k f
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•Thinking that what you do or say is betterthan what others do or say
•Always wanting to get your own way
•Arguing when you are not right or —when you are — insisting stubbornly orwith bad manners
Josemaria which can help us identify a lack of
humility in ourselves.
Saint Josemaría Escrivá de Balaguer was aRoman Catholic priest from Spain who founded
Opus Dei, an organization of laypeople andpriests dedicated to the teaching that everyoneis called to holiness and that ordinary life is a
path to sanctity. January 9, 1902 - June 26, 1975
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•Thinking that what you do or say is betterthan what others do or say
•Always wanting to get your own way
•Arguing when you are not right or —when you are — insisting stubbornly orwith bad manners
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•Giving your opinion without being askedfor it when charity does not demand you
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for it, when charity does not demand you
to do so
•Despising the point of view of others
•Not being aware that all the gifts andqualities you have are on loan
•Not acknowledging that youare unworthy of all honour or esteem,even the ground you are treading on orthe things you own
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•Mentioning yourself as an example
•Speaking badly about yourself so that they
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•Speaking badly about yourself, so that they
may form a good opinion of you, or contradictyou
•Making excuses when rebuked
•Hiding some humiliating faults from yourdirector, so that he may not lose the goodopinion he has of you
•Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being gladthat others have spoken well of you
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•Being hurt that others are held in greateresteem than you
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esteem than you
•Refusing to carry out menial tasks
•Seeking or wanting to be singled out
•Letting drop words of self-praisein conversation, or words that might showyour honesty, your wit or skill, yourprofessional prestige…
•Being ashamed of not having certainpossessions…
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5. A Pastor must not be quick-
tempered Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3
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No man will be of any use inthe kingdom that is quick-tempered.
Jesus was angry at the abuseof others in the name of religion and the dishonouring
of God.We get angry at how “things”affects us.
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6. A Pastor must be sober - not a
drunkard(Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3)
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This is at first reading anoverindulgence in alcohol...
But we need to check
ourselves for any addictivebehaviour.
What are you addicted to?
Food, work, success, peoplesapproval, prestige, yourphone...?
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7. A Pastor must be peaceful -
not violent Titus 1:7; 1 Tim 3:3
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The words or carry powerto influence. Do you wordsinfuriate or embarrass? Are
you careful with yourwords?
Are you a peacemaker (Not
a peace-keeper)...Does thepeace of God minister topeople through you?
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8. A Pastor must have
financial integrity
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Not greedy for gain (Titus1:7; 1 Tim 3:3; 1 Peter 5:3)
A pastor is to be upright inhis financial dealings
He must not be open toany accusation of pursuing
money over the kingdomof God.
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9. A pastor must be
hospitable
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Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2
“A pastor’s home is to be
open for others to enjoy. A
pastor’s home is not a heaven
on earth, but rather a place of
ministry.”
Heb 13:2, 1 Peter 4:9, Matt
25:34ff, Rom 12:13
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2 Do not neglect to show
hospitality to strangers, for
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p y g f
thereby some haveentertained angels
unawares.
9 Show hospitality to one
another without grumbling.
13 Contribute to the needs of
the saints and seek to show
hospitality.
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2 Do not neglect to show
hospitality to strangers, for
How can you use your
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p y g f
thereby some haveentertained angels
unawares.
9 Show hospitality to one
another without grumbling.
13 Contribute to the needs of
the saints and seek to show
hospitality.
How can you use your
home for the glory of Godand still retain a proper
family life?
Should you home always
be open or can you say to
people they cannot come
at certain times?
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10. A Pastor must be a
lover of good
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Titus 1:8
A pastor genuinely loveswhat is good.
He does not just think heshould love it.
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10. A Pastor must be a
lover of good
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Titus 1:8
A pastor genuinely loveswhat is good.
He does not just think heshould love it.
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11. A Pastor must be self-
controlled
Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2
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Titus 1:8; 1 Tim 3:2
Self-control is a characteristic of every area of apastor’s life:
Habits, diet, time, mouth, exercise,
relationships, sex, money...
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13. A Pastor must be holy
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Titus 1:8
Holy = set apart.His life is devotedwholeheartedly to Jesusexternally and internally.
Hebrews 12:14
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13. A Pastor must be holy
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Titus 1:8
Holy = set apart.His life is devotedwholeheartedly to Jesusexternally and internally.
Hebrews 12:14
Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being
sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will
be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the
passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who
called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”
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14. A Pastor must be able
to teach
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Titus 1:9; 1 Tim 3:2
All of the otherqualifications are
character qualities. Thisis the only ability-based requirement.
He is to be able to teach
sound doctrine, not justbe able to communicatewell.
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14. A Pastor must be able
to teach
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His teaching can be to oneor two, to twenty, to ahundred or to a thousand.
Most of the churches inCrete were housechurches. The elders wereto defend the faith oncedelivered to the saintsagainst the numerousfalse teachers that arose.
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The chief
occupational hazard
of leadership is
pride.
John Stott
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16. A Pastor must be
respectable
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1 Tim 3:7
That does not mean that
everyone must like himor even appreciate him.
It means that there is nocredible witness to anongoing sinful behavior.
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16. A Pastor must be
respectable
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1 Tim 3:7
That does not mean that
everyone must like himor even appreciate him.
It means that there is nocredible witness to anongoing sinful behavior.
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17. A Pastor must be an
example to the flock
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1 Peter 5:3
Elders are examples of
Biblical expressionsconversations, timemanagement,marriage, parenting,
worship,relationships...
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17. A Pastor must be an
example to the flock
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1 Peter 5:3
Elders are examples of
Biblical expressionsconversations, timemanagement,marriage, parenting,
worship,relationships...
“A pastor should be
someone your sons couldpattern their life after andthe kind of man your
daughter should marry.”
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What should you do if an elder violates one of
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y
these requirements?1 Timothy 5:19-20 warns us not to accuse anelder flippantly, “Do not admit a charge againstan elder except on the evidence of two or three
witnesses. 20 As for those who persist in sin,rebuke them in the presence of all,so that therest may stand in fear.”
Matthew 18:15-18 then gives us the
appropriate steps to take.
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