The Best of

Kevin Hogan

15 Articles You Need to Read to Succeed

© 2005 Network 3000 Publishing

Can You Motivate Them to Change? Page 3

Communication: MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATION Page 8

Flubbing The Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make Page 16

Five Little Known Factors of Influence and Persuasion Page 22

How to use Steven Spielberg's Key to Success (Influence) for Your Business, Selling, and your SELF Page 24

Transformational Persuasion Techniques That Overcome Resistance Page 29

9 Hidden Factors that Cause "Yes" or "No." Page 36

Persuasion: The Final Answer Your client doesn't think...he just thinks he does... Page

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I'll Think About It Page 44

Influence: Don't Let Them Wonder or Leave ANYTHING to the Imagination Page 48

Belief: Your Power Beyond Scope Page 51

Covert Subliminal Persuasion: Seven Facts that Will Change the Way You Influence

Forever Page 53

Your Subliminal Edge: Factors that Cause Successful Subliminal Persuasion Page 57

Who Are You? Finding Yourself Page 62

Turning Persuasion Strategies into Selling Skills Page 65

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Can You Motivate Them to Change?

Kevin Hogan

The one characteristic of people of great influence. How to develop it. How to master it. How to change people. The cornerstone of all long-term motivation. Give me 9 minutes and I will show you how to change your life...and theirs. You can know all the techniques, strategies and mental linguistics on the planet...but...if you aren't a person of influence, you haven't got a chance when it comes time to use the techniques. Similarly, you can be a person of influence but your client quite simply might not be motivated to change. (at least not yet!) Let's look at both of the people in the process and find out what kind of a person a person of influence is...then find out what your client must feel about you to best be motivated by you.... First: What is influence? Influence is a process where one person motivates another person to change something. Let's look at just what it takes to motivate that person and who the person of influence needs to be to accomplish persuasion. Just Who is the Person of Influence? Who is the great salesman, the great therapist, the great lover, the great President, the great...you get the idea.... There are a number of qualities and characteristics that are crucial to success in persuasion and influence...in every usage from therapy to selling. Above all else is one characteristic that dwarfs all of the rest... What is it?

Empathy.

Nothing is more important than empathy for someone who wants to motivate others to change.

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Empathy?!??!?!?

Sounds hokey doesn’t it? Invest 7 more minutes and I'll show you how to change your life in a second.

It's the ability to feel...to understand...to walk a mile in their shoes...Empathy means that you can feel and see life from the perspective of the other person. If and when you can do that...you can be influential. If you can't, you will only be able to "close a percentage" or get lucky now and then. You can know all the techniques on the planet, but if you can't feel their pain, you will never truly be a great salesman, a great communicator, a powerful person of influence.

• You walk into the hospital, see your loved one with the I.V. in their arm. You paste a smile on your face, but they know it hurts you as much as it does them.That's empathy.

• Your child is home sick from school. You feel as bad for them as they feel. You see the result of their bad decisions and the pain of the future they now face. You feel it too.

When I think of empathy, I think of people like former President Clinton. He has far more empathy than most people in the public eye. Politics aside, when you watched Clinton with people, you sensed he could really be in that person's shoes...and he was. That means he has the capacity to identify and feel what others are feeling at this moment. People of great empathy have three common traits.

• They have experienced pain first hand. • They have a wide range of experiences with all kinds of other people. • They are validated and feel good based upon the approval of others.

I saw a book on the shelf at Barnes & Noble. It was called "Disease to Please." I didn't pick it up. Why? The person doesn't get it. (Just like the guy who wrote "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. It's All Small Stuff.") The book might be helpful, but the title spreads a very bad ideavirus. Why?

In a broad sense, the ideal life is about two things. Giving and receiving pleasure. (Pleasure broadly means anything that is good.) Take away one of the two (giving or receiving) from the person, and you have a half of a person...

Take away the giving part, and in the vernacular, you have a jerk....

I'll bet a nickel the author of "Disease to Please" will tell the reader that the reason people are unhappy and unsatisfied is that they are trying to please other people at their own expense. (And that might be a fact.) The possible solution might be proposed to stop trying to please others, and start doing what the reader has never done perhaps...please themselves.

Problem.

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As soon as the person stops being helpful, kind, loving, supportive, nurturing to others, they lose the other half of who they were. The half of them that IS powerful and useful.

The Complete Influential Person

The real solution, obviously, is to always be supportive, kind and helpful. And then to be supportive, kind and helpful to yourself as well. (It requires no more time or effort. A simple set of choices.) Then, instead of becoming a jerk, they become a complete person...and...a person capable of powerful influence...which means they are only one step away from success at any level they choose.

The influential person has a strong desire to please... and if they are going to be influential, that extends to the desire to help (for both altruistic and selfish purposes) others be happy, feel better, and be useful as a human. This desire to help, to create value, to love will often be paired with some kind of pain and no one should tell this person to try and squelch the feelings of being rebuffed, rejected or hurt. That IS the healthy and normal response. These are the feelings that generate the empathic response.

When people see these characteristics in you, they judge you as a person who cares, is interested and wants to help others. Kindness. The person of influence is typically a kind person. There are plenty of exceptions in history, but in general if a person is empathic and kind, they have the potential to help others create change.

Why Does Being Kind Help Influence?

Because you won't listen to a jerk. Jerks don't care. All they have is their own self-interest and that means you can NOT trust them as they attempt to persuade. It's as simple as that.

The Cornerstone of Motivation

Question: Can a person of influence, someone with great empathy, also be intense, tough-as-nails, focused, able to self-satisfy at many levels? Of course. People are allowed to have as many characteristics as they can...empathy is simply the cornerstone of motivating others.

Fact: If you are empathetic, you will have the instant reservoir to tap into that can create change in other people's lives. This doesn't mean you will successfully utilize your reservoir, it just means that you don't have to work on building it!

So what is the big deal with something as touchy feely as empathy? Well, if you're truly wondering, then it would be useful to begin working on empathy.

We all want to be understood and liked by others. People who are empathetic make it a point to understand others and to look out for the interests of everyone.

Salespeople, take a lesson from the great therapist (who truly is a great salesperson). Numerous studies reveal that 50% of the results they achieve with a client at the one-year point of demarcation is due to the therapist's personal

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qualities, of which the most crucial is empathy. The remaining causes of success in therapy are spread out among the approach, the client's motivation, their environment, etc.

When I say that people don't buy the product or service and that they are buying YOU, I'm not kidding.

In the most simple terms: Your client is buying the empathy they feel in you.

There is little or no resistance toward the salesperson (or therapist) that has the complete best interest of the client in their heart and mind.

What About the Client?

We can talk more about the salesperson (therapist!) in a bit. For now let's switch to the other side of the table. The client.

The client, whether a prospect in a sales context, or a person needing therapy...the elements are identical. In order for you to motivate your client, your client will need to meet several criteria.

• Your client must be capable to change or take action. This simply means that they can literally do something if they chose it. You can try selling an airplane to a guy who can't afford a matchbox car but he won't be able to take action.

• Your client must be ready to change or take action. Remember that most people are mired in the status quo. The client who smokes or drinks too much who doesn't have an interest in changing isn't likely to be motivated to change. Similarly the prospect who really believes that he doesn't need to invest his money or buy a car that will get his family safely from point to point will need to be motivated to get to the "ready" stage. A person is ready when it is the most important thing to them and whatever they were holding onto previously becomes secondary.

• People don't like giving up anything. Attitudes, beliefs, feelings, emotions, thoughts, ANYTHING. People want to hang onto what they are familiar with. People say they want to quit smoking...and "part of them" probably does...but it isn't as important as what they are getting from the experience itself. The person is ready to make a change when they have shifted their priorities.

• The client must be willing to change. Do they want "it" at all? If it doesn't hit their radar, then you haven't experienced a client that even wants to make a change. They see no reason. They feel nothing. And...nothing will happen as a result.

• Your client will need to be approached in a fashion that will trigger change.

The "approach" you use with a client will vary from person to person. Over the years, salespeople have learned that high pressure simply created enemies and can destroy the relationship. 30 years ago various therapeutic styles fell into the category of being confrontational. (Direct challenges to the client.) These styles might work with a specific individual, but overall they were a miserable failure. For the most part confrontation failed.

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Similarly, extremely high pressure challenges fail in other influential settings. Tell someone that if they don't buy the car today that they lose out...well everyone knows the car will still be there tomorrow and it is NOT going UP in value as it sits on the lot. (The new home might, though!) As a rule, the vast majority of people DO need to feel some discomfort to take action, but they normally don't have to feel the fires of Hades to make a good decision. Think of it this way: Your client will not respond to high pressure if it makes no sense to be pressured. A successful person of influence simply doesn't need one person's "sale" that badly. And it will all show in the approach. Observe:

"If you don't buy this today you will have wasted my time and it cost me a lot of money to be here for you and if you did this the way it is you'd get rich and what are you thinking?!?!!?"

That said, if the salesperson is in poverty, and if they don't make the sale then they (the salesperson) lose. This means the salesperson is selling the wrong product for the client and salesperson. However...

"Whether you participate or not is fine with me. I'm happy to help you here today. I'm busy. I might have a chance to help you in the future but you must make a decision that is best for you."

If you use the Science of Influence, you don't have to even think about "closing the sale" any more. It happens because it has to happen. You might need to respond to questions or even natural hesitation and fears of the unknown from your client, but there is no more need for story-telling "closes" or emotional torture of the people who could choose to become your clients. It didn't work in the therapist's office, and it won't work for most clients. (And if it did, is that *who* you want to be!??!!?) So, Who is the Person of Influence? The successful person of influence is the person who has great empathy for the other person. They are inherently kind. They certainly can be disciplined in approach. They can be tough as nails or as soft as a kitten. One thing is certain: They can feel the other person's pain....and... they want to help them feel better. As for the client, make sure you are speaking to the person who is capable of changing. The person who is ready to change and the person is willing to change. You can influence the willingness to come closer to ready (as in NOW) but you can't motivate actual ability. If they can't buy the million dollar house, don't try and sell it to them. What would the point be? Empathy and kindness. Who would have thought it?

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Communication

MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATION

Communication is your door to financial wealth, loving relationships, and all that is good in life. Communication is the most talked about and least understood area of human behavior. Our ability to communicate in so many modes is unique to humans on earth. People who do not have the ability to speak can be wonderful communicators. The loss of one or two senses certainly can impair communication, but it does not have to stop communication. Effective communication is rarely taught and even more rarely learned in our society. What follows is an outline of a few of the many keys to mastering the art of communication. Superior communication skills are unquestionably vital to living a life by design.

BASIC COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION

Interpersonal communication includes at least the following elements:

1. A transmitter. Someone who wants to "send" a message verbally or non-verbally to someone else.

2. A receiver. Someone who will "receive" a message from another person. 3. A message. Information in some form. 4. Noise. Anything that interferes or causes the deletion, distortion or

generalization of the exact replication of information being transmitted from the mind of the transmitter to the mind of the receiver.

5. Feedback. Both the sender and receiver constantly elicit verbal and nonverbal feedback to the other person.

6. Replication. The duplication of understanding in one person that is in the mind of another person. Replication is an approximate goal and philosophically not perfectly possible, though desired.

7. Understanding. An approximation of what the message means to the sender by the receiver.

Excellent communication is the ability to transmit a message by the sender to a receiver and have that message replicated in the receiver's mind. Excellent communication is the ability to receive a transmitted message by the sender and have the receiver be able to replicate the form and intent of the message in the receiver's mind. If the receiver is uncertain about some aspect of a communication, it is the responsibility of the receiver to clarify the communication

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through the artful use of questions. The transmitting communicator also accepts the responsibility for the result of a communication. This means the transmitter must be certain to code a communication so it is received in a manner that is understandable to the receiver. All of this is of no consequence if a person is uncomfortable in the communication process to begin with. Do you ever feel uncomfortable communicating with people in "one on one" setting? If so, you will benefit from the following exercises which are designed to help ease discomfort in one on one situations. Please ask a friend to help you.

INTRODUCTORY INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION EXERCISES

Silence Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. For two minutes you must both sit in silence. You must look at your partner for the entire two minute period. You succeed in this exercise if you are able to keep your eyes on your partner for the entire two minutes. It is not important if your partner maintains eye contact with you. It is only important that you look the entire two minutes at the other person's face or eyes without moving your glance to anything else. When you have your partner's approval for completing this exercise you may move to the closure exercise below. Closure Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. You will ask your partner to look at various objects or locations in the room until you have asked your partner to look at a total of 20 objects. After your partner looks at each of these objects, you will say, "thank you." Once your partner has looked at twenty objects, your partner will tell you that you have successfully accomplished this exercise designed to teach you to close cycles of communication. With your partner's approval you may move to the next exercise. Instigation Deflection Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. In this exercise, you will sit and listen to your partner attempt to harm you emotionally with his words. He has two minutes to go on a verbal rampage against you. He can say anything he wants, using any tone of voice he wants. His objective is to get you to argue or disagree with him. You successfully accomplish this exercise if you remain silent during the entire two minute time period and maintain eye or face contact without looking away. If you laugh or talk, you must start over. At the end of the two minutes, thank your partner and make sure he knows that this was your exercise and that you know what he said was designed by you, to help you. He meant no harm. You asked him to do this exercise to help you deflect the verbal

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abuses of others. With your partner's approval you may move on to the final exercise to help you in confrontational communications. Answer my question Sit between 18 and 48 inches across from your partner. Ask them a specific question.

• "Do dogs meow?"

You are going to say, "thank you," when your partner answers you with "no." However the partner can choose not to respond, change the subject or ask you the question back instead of answering your question with a no. Your partner may do this four times for each of these four questions. He must give you a straight "no" answer on or before the fifth time you ask, "do dogs meow." You succeed if you only say, "Do dogs meow?" after each non-responsive answer and when you say "thank you" to the correct answer to the question. The other three questions are these:

• "Are mailmen all women?" • "Do birds eat sharks?" • "Can you walk on water?"

The correct answer to all the questions is "no," and you must eventually elicit a no response from your partner. You may only use the words in the original question. This is how you succeed. No time limit is necessary, but each question should take no more than two minutes. The purpose of this exercise is to teach you to remain focused on the goal of your communication and your ability to ask the same question after it has been ignored or a new direction has been taken by your partner. When these exercises are completed, have your partner express his or her true feelings about you, to you. If anything he said still has you upset, make certain you discuss this now with your partner. These exercises teach you to communicate and maintain your composure easily and effectively in difficult situations. Having mastered these difficult exercises you will be ready to move toward the macro level of interpersonal communication.

OUTCOME BASED THINKING

When effectively participating in interpersonal communication, a key element on your part is that of outcome based thinking. Outcome based thinking entails knowing what your objective is before entering into a task, communication or project. It is not always necessary to consciously use outcome based thinking in interpersonal communication. There are many times that it is simply nice to 'be' with someone. In these cases it is often far more enjoyable to remain non-directive.

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When do you use outcome based thinking (OBT)? You will use OBT when you are negotiating anything. You will normally use OBT when you are in problem solving and/or task oriented communication. Whenever you want or need something you will use OBT. You will almost always use OBT when you are at work or in your business setting. How do you use OBT for effective thinking and effective communicating? By providing yourself with a road map that allows you to know where you are going is the first step. I've often said that, "once you know where you are and where you are going, it's relatively easy to get there."

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT WHEN COMMUNICATING.

It is difficult to effectively communicate if you do not know what you want in the communication. Living life by design means that you are empowering your life with true purpose and mission. OBT starts at the macro level, then works its way to the micro level. As you live a designer's life, you begin to notice how most of what you do is within the larger context of your mission and purpose in life. The process of OBT is detailed below. Think of an upcoming event, appointment or situation where you will hope to effectively communicate with someone. Once you have something specific in mind, integrate that situation into the model below.

OUTCOME BASED THINKING MODEL

1. What precisely do I want out of the process? 2. What does the other person want? If I don't know, what are they likely to

want? 3. What is the least I will accept out of the process? 4. What problems could come up in the process? 5. How will I deal with each one, and if possible, use the problem as a BENEFIT

for the other person? 6. How will I bring the process to a conclusion?

You can use this model when you are negotiating the purchase of a new home. It's also simple enough to integrate into daily life communications with your life partner, children and friends. Excellence in communication often follows the discovery of your fellow communicator's values. This model allows you to more thoughtfully structure whatever message you are preparing to "give." By actually taking the time to think through this process in a step by step fashion, you become more comfortable in expressing your feelings, thoughts, and emotions with others. Similarly, it makes you very aware of what others needs and wants, or more simply, values are. Everyone has values but values differ from person to person. Even when people have the same values, they can differ greatly in their hierarchy. Two people may each have health and love as extremely important values. One of the people may have

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love as the most important value, the other could have health. This seemingly small differentiation can in and of itself mold different personalities. Learning the key values of other people is therefore tantamount to being an effective communicator. Discovering the values of others can be accomplished by using the values determination model below. A few simple questions of your fellow communicator will help you learn what is truly important to them. It is interesting to note that values are context-dependent. In other words, what is important to someone in a love relationship may have a different value in a business relationship. These differences are accounted for in the model below as you will notice.

VALUES DETERMINATION MODEL

1. "What is most important thing to you about X?" (Buying a house, choosing a restaurant to eat at, your job, etc.)

2. How do you know when you have gotten X? (How do you know when you are happy? How do you know that you have the right house? How do you know that you have gotten a good deal on buying a car? etc.)

3. What's the next most important thing to you about X? 4. What else is important to you about X?

Until then, here are a few more distinctions that can make a difference for you now!

RAPPORT

It is probably fair to say that most people enjoy talking about themselves. This is one reason the values determination model is so effective. You are asking people about their most highly valued feelings and thoughts. This is an excellent way to augment the development of rapport in communication. Rapport is the perceived affinity between two or more people. Rapport is the perceived affinity between two or more people. The ability to build and maintain rapport in communication is one of the key skills of a master communicator. One of the greatest examples of rapport building is found in the New Testament. Notice how the apostle Paul uses rapport to prepare his listeners for what he wants to communicate to them. The setting is this: Paul is in Athens, Greece. Athens has a largely pagan culture. The city is filled with idols and temples to mythological gods. As a Jew, this is repugnant to Paul. Some of the local philosophers have challenged Paul to a debate. They bring him to the infamous Mars Hill. It is here that we pick up Paul's communication mastery...

"Men of Athens, I perceive that in all things you are very religious." (This immediately breaks their skeptical pattern of thinking and creates an instant bridge for Paul to metaphorically walk on.)

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"...for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you."

(Paul uses his persuasive communication skills brilliantly. The altar is one of THEIR objects of worship. The God he wants to discuss is one of THEIR gods. He is not going to talk about some new god!)

"God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is the Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands." (God MADE the world, he tells them. He's OBVIOUSLY much too BIG to live in a human temple!)

Paul continues his discourse, explaining that God gives us life, our breath, and a place to live. He explain that God needs nothing from us.

"...for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of YOUR OWN POETS HAVE SAID, 'For we are also his offspring."

"Therefore, since we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man's devising."

Paul once again maintains rapport by returning to citing the Greeks authorities. Building rapport is one step. Maintaining rapport and bridging into the message you wish to tell is another.

"Truly, these times of IGNORANCE God overlooked, but NOW commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by the man he has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead."

Paul has reached the crux of his message and has held the attention of his audience. It was the rapport that Paul built with the antagonistic philosophers that is the key to his successful communication here. Rapport is much more than verbal compliments of course. It is the non-verbal behavior that is involved as well. (Non-verbal behavior that enhances the building of rapport can be found in my book, The Psychology of Persuasion.)

CLOSURE IN COMMUNICATION

The ability to politely and effectively close a cycle of communication is a skill that more people need to become adept at. Closure is the ability to acknowledge the other person, say "thank you" to the other person or confirm that what was said was understood. Closure is the final step in any segment or cycle of communication.

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You have experienced communication that did not "end." Someone walked out of a room, hung up the phone, switched subjects in mid-conversation without explaining why, etc. When complete cycles of communication are not accomplished, it leaves the person with tremendous frustration and often anger. You can always be certain to have closure in communication by acknowledging that you have heard and understood what a person has said to you. It is not necessary to agree with someone if you are not prepared to. It is necessary to close each cycle of communication. Tape record the following Image-Creation to experience a presentation or speech you will make, in advance. Listen to the Image-Creation before making your presentation.

Image-Creation # 6 An Award Winning Speech

Find a quiet and calm environment. Sit or lay down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take a deep breath and release it. Go out into the future and imagine a time when someone asks you to come and give a speech on the secrets of success as you know them and have applied them in your life to get where you are at this future stage of your life. As you give this speech, listen to the applause. Notice the smiling faces in the audience. Carefully observe what the members of your audience are wearing. What does the room smell like? What is the temperature like in the room? Listen to the sound of your voice as you speak. Be certain that you are looking through your eyes as the speaker as you give this speech. As you close your speech, observe the audience give you a standing ovation. Meet the people in the front row. Shake their hands and thank them for caring so much about you and what you had to say. Confirm for the people you talk to after the speech that they too can be successful if they will simply design their own life. As you feel the most enthusiastic and exhilarated you may return to now. Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes when you are ready. Once your eyes are open, remember the most exciting and exhilarating moment of the speech and squeeze your middle finger. You are anchoring these feelings and this accomplishment to your middle finger.

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BECOME FASCINATED BY WHAT OTHERS CAN SHARE WITH YOU.

Most people seem to try to be interesting when they should be interested. The truly successful communicator is a curious person. He wants to know more about other people. She is truly fascinated by what other people can share with them. You may sincerely wonder how you could be interested in some people. If what interests them doesn't interest you, then discover how they became interested in what they are interested in. In other words, if you don't like fishing and someone you're communicating with does, find out how they became so excited about fishing. What experiences do they have that started this fascination? By making others feel special, they will feel that you are special.

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Flubbing The Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make

Kevin Hogan

Most conversations include at least one story. Some longer conversations include two dozen or more stories! When you tell someone a story it's really important to you that the person you are talking to listens. It makes you feel good when they "oooooh" and "ahhhhhh." When people gloss over your stories you feel let down and sometimes hurt. Our stories are important to us and we want them to be important to others. Everything you have become today is part of your life story, the sum of all of your stories about your life. It means the world to you when people are fascinated by your stories. Remember when the little Texas girl, Jessica McClure fell in the well and got trapped? It took three days to get her out. The nation watched. Would she live or die? Could the rescuers get her in time? That happened in 1987, you don't even know Jessica but you probably remember it to this day! Each year millions of people die and experience incredible events. The story of Jessica was a great story and it unfolded right before our eyes. The media calls these kinds of stories, "human interest" stories. They sell news shows because people are engaged by the drama. Each of us has at least one human interest story to tell about ourselves. A time when you survived something dramatic. You overcame an illness. You persisted until you succeeded. You helped someone in great need and someone found out about it and told someone else who told the news and then you made the news. All of these are great stories. Telling stories well and listening to them with fascination are two important factors in maintaining good communication. You'd think it would be easy to tell and listen to stories but this isn't the case and "flubbing the story" is the first of the mistakes we make when communicating. There are 10 ways to flub a story.

1. Be boring. 2. Talk too long. 3. Speak too slowly. 4. Speak in a garbled way so that people can't understand you. 5. Exaggerate when telling your story. 6. Ignore feedback during your story telling. 7. Respond to other people's stories with a story of your own. 8. Poke holes in other people's special stories. 9. Overtly brag about yourself just a little too much. 10. Not telling your stories with intention.

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Let's look at each of these 10 ways to flub a story and then let's talk about how to tell a story so people will listen, be fascinated and be asking for more! 1) Be boring. Being boring centers around being focused on yourself. Even when telling stories you must be paying attention to the person who is listening to you. You must think ahead of time, "Why do they want to hear this story?" "How can I tell this story so it is interesting to them?" Your stories will usually be about your experiences. How you tell your stories and how you position yourself in your stories will determine just how interested the other person will be. 2) Talk for too long. If you are in an everyday conversation, you probably have less than one minute to tell your story. Learn to tell what I call a "thumb nail" or a "readers digest condensed version" of your story. I remember when my sister was a pre-teen she would come home from the movies and virtually recite all the lines of the movie line for line, scene for scene. My eyes would glaze over by the time she got past the opening credits. 30 minutes later she would finish and I would be nodding my head. I loved my sister. I just didn't have the heart to tell her. Over the years she learned to tell the readers digest condensed version. Today she is an executive with Johnson and Johnson. 3) Speak too slowly. People have very short attention spans. Most companies pitch their products in thirty second commercials on television. The newest wave of men's magazines include the best sellers Stuff and Maxim. These publications feature "articles" as short as a paragraph. Our attention spans are so short that USA Today seems to be filled with articles that are far too detailed for a lot of people. The message needs to be delivered quickly and concisely in print and in everyday conversation. One of the greatest problems people have when telling a story is speaking far too slowly. Think of the people who are enjoyable to listen to. Comedians. Robin Williams: Speaks quickly. Dennis Miller: Speaks quickly. Bill Cosby: Speaks moderately. George Wallace: Speaks quickly. Billy Crystal: Moderate to fast paced. Jerry Seinfeld: Moderate to fast paced. There aren't a lot of people who make you laugh who also speak slowly when they are telling a story. Yes, there is an exception to every rule, but here is the rule: Speak a little more quickly and you have a better chance of having your story heard and enjoyed. 4) Speak in a garbled way so that people can't understand you. Many people look away when they are communicating with you. They think you have a universal translator that translates all languages including garbled English. Remember that millions of people are hard of hearing and they have little chance of hearing the average woman (who speak at frequencies much higher than men) speak at all. When you speak, look at the person you are talking to. Speak clearly. Speak loud enough so they can hear you. All of this may seem obvious but having observed thousands of people communicate, I promise you that this one mistake causes big problems in relationships; problems that could easily be avoided.

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5) Exaggerate when telling your story. "...and there were millions of people watching the parade!" (There were 850 according to newspaper accounts.) "...I never even looked at her!" (Never looked?!) "...before he started the diet he weighed 300 pounds!" (OK it was really 240.) A story worth telling is worth telling accurately. Tell it with enthusiasm, zeal and intensity. Tell it accurately. It's vital that all of your communication is true without being critical or unnecessarily unkind. Exaggeration is an invitation for people to not listen or care. 6) Ignore feedback during your story telling. "...and then she comes in the door and she has this skirt on that is so ridiculously short. I mean who is she kidding. She's not a teenager anymore." (friend nods politely while fighting back a yawn, eyes begin to glaze over) "...do people have no sense of decency anymore? I just wonder what makes some people tick. Don't people pay attention to what they are wearing and see how it makes everybody feel?"(friend shrugs and nods with feigned frustration) The woman telling the story about the short skirted office friend could have spared her listener the despair of this antiquated story had she only seen the feigned frustration, the shrug, the yawn, but it was not something the storyteller was looking for. It should have been. It's critical to always pay attention to how people are receiving the stories you tell. You must pay close attention to your listener's body language while you are telling your story. Is their body language telling you they are interested, or impatient for the end? Are their lips moving, ready to jump in on your story, or are they listening with awe. Later in the book we will discuss body language in depth. Not learning to understand the body language of other people is one of the mistakes we make in communication. 7) Respond to other people's stories with a story of your own. "...and I went to Cancun and you should have seen the beaches. They were beautiful. The Princess Hotel was absolutely breath tak..." "You stayed at the Princess. It's really not bad you know. On our third trip to Cancun we stayed at The Princess, in the Oceanview Suite. They reserved it for us because John helped with the design of the building in '98. I didn't really like The Princess that much. It was a wannabee hotel. But since then we've stayed at the new Sheraton. It just has everything and they take care of you like you are royalty there. I think if we go back and don't go to Tahiti on our next trip, we're going to stay there again." "Cancun sure is nice." (The energy has been discharged from her being and the desire to communicate further with her friend went with her energy.)

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This is one of the really sad things we do in communicating with others. Instead of teasing out the rest of the story from our friend, we immediately jump in with a story of our own. Research shows that people feel better when you pursue their story to it's completion then disclose (share) something of your own. 8) Poke holes in other people's special stories. They are telling you about their adventure to the audit at the IRS office. "I was so nervous, I'm driving to the IRS office and I'm sitting there thinking, oh man, I have to remember to NOT talk. Shut up. Be quiet. Don't say anything." "What did you do to get audited?" "Huh? I filed Schedule C and that means..." "Did you report all of your income?" "I think so." "You THINK so? What are you nuts? You have to report all of your income." "Of course you have to report all of your income. Anyway, I'm on the way to the IRS office and..." "Did you overstate your deductions?" "Of course not. I ..." "If you overstate your deductions they will bust your ..." "I KNOW that and I didn't. Let's Just drop the whole thing." "O.K. I was just trying to help." And so it goes. Our storyteller was preparing to tell the story of her big victory over the IRS auditor and our storyteller's friend poked big holes in the story. So big that it took all the fun and excitement out of sharing the story. The appropriate response would have been to listen with fascination and a sense of curiosity, saving all questions and comments for much, much later. 9) Overtly brag about yourself too much. "I don't want to brag but the place would have gone under without me. I was there every day at dawn and stayed til the sun went down. I built the company and once they had 100 employees there was no appreciation at all. They down sized me. It was unbelievable. I literally designed almost every major piece that we produced and when it came time for them to decide who to let go, it was me. I couldn't believe it. They never would have gone public without me. They never would have met their payroll without me. I just can't believe they didn't see what I was worth to them." True or not, bragging never pays. There are so many effective ways to bolster your reputation and communication credentials when talking to people that you never need to overstate your contribution to a relationship, a project, a business, a deal, or

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anything. Learn how to tell a great story where you were a hero without bragging at all! 10) Not telling your stories with intention. Before you begin speaking, over-ride the compulsion to blurt out your story. Think: What is the intention of your story? Why are you going to tell this story? Will anyone who listens to this story be hurt by what you say? You might think that it's not that important to communicate exactly what you mean but remember December 2002? Quite often someone tells a story and they haven't thought about who they are telling the story to or how it might easily be misinterpreted to mean something else. Trent Lott, A Mississippi Republican got himself stuck in a public relations nightmare and gave up the dream of a lifetime in December of 2002. Destined to become the House Majority Leader in January of 2003, he made a critical mistake that everyone should be attentive to and learn from. Speaking at a party honoring Senator Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday, he opened Pandora's box and never knew what his words of appreciation for the elderly Senator would do. The drama of misunderstood words caused even the President of The United States to distance himself from Lott. Speaking for the President, Ari Fleischer said after one speech that Bush that was not calling for Lott to step aside as leader or as senator. ''The president does not think that Sen. Lott needs to resign,'' Flesicher said. The problem? Thurmond, the South Carolina Republican who ran as a third-party candidate for president in 1948 as a segregationist had changed his views over the ensuing 50 years of public service. But the comments by Lott made it appear that Lott was still in favor of them. . In 1948 most blacks in many southern U.S. states, including Mississippi, were not allowed to vote. Lott actually didn't say anything that was racist but the interpretation by his adversaries was easy to spin into the public mind. Shortly after the speech, Lott called Bush, and his office issued a statement saying the president was right. ''Senator Lott agrees with President Bush that his words were wrong and he is sorry,'' said Lott spokesman Ron Bonjean. ''He repudiates segregation because it is immoral.'' Lott expressed similar sentiments in his call to Bush, Fleischer said. So just what did Lott say at the Thurmond celebration? ''We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over the years,''

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Later he would have to clarify what he meant but it was too late, he hadn't thought through how is words might effect the minds of his greatest adversaries. ''I'm sorry for my words,'' said Lott, who has said he would not step aside as Senate Republican leader. Speaking to WABC radio in New York and then on BET days later, Lott said he had wanted to honor ''Thurmond the man'' but not back segregationist policies. The Congressional Black Caucus called for a formal censure of Lott, saying anything less would be seen as approval of his remarks by Bush, Congress and the Republican party. In Mississippi, civil rights officials said his apology was insufficient, and accused him of having enduring ties to groups that are believed to have racist views. Several major U.S. newspapers on published editorials demanding Republicans reject Lott as their Senate leader. A few misunderstood words caused Lott his reputation and drove many of those closest to him to leave his side. Lesson: When telling your stories, think about how they will be received by your listeners and the people your listeners will talk to. You aren't likely to ever be under media scrutiny like a political leader but the point is clear. Think before speaking. In a conversation with friends, business colleagues and the like you will often hear them say something which frustrates you. You will hear things that you don't understand. Because you really want to know what the person means and feels you must learn to tease out the intention. Did they mean what you thought they just said? Did they mean what you heard? In Lott's case a friend might say to the Senator, "So are you saying you liked the way Thurmond thought about segregation in 1948." He might reply, "Of course not. What a stupid thought. I meant that I really admire Thurmond." It is that simple and difficult. When you don't understand their story, seek to understand before criticizing the person!

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Five Little Known Factors of Influence and Persuasion

Kevin Hogan

What I want you to do is to write down two ways, the first things that come to your mind, as to how you can use each of these factors in dealing with customers and clients. Some of these factors are quite new and will require a little more thought. BUT realize that these are such powerful factors that they are worth every minute you invest in them. 1. Self and Conspicuous Consumption People will buy items that they normally would not buy if they can be SEEN owning such an item. Automobiles for example. Most people buy cars that they can't afford in order to FEEL better as they compare themselves to their neighbors, family and peers. Only two decades ago you couldn't get a car loan for 4 years. Today you can't get many loans for less than 5 or 6. The fact is that research shows that the satisfaction from having something or something that is in excess of your neighbors is an END IN ITSELF. 2. Self Motivation People say they will work harder and longer if they are paid more but the reality is that people work LESS when wages are high and jobs abundant. Similarly, when incomes drop and jobs are hard to get, people work much harder and longer hours. People almost always work to their comfort zone and then stop. 3. Self Certainty of Risk Tolerance Everyone from individuals to financial planners believe that people have "risk tolerance" levels that are measurable through a questionnaire. They are wrong. The fact is that almost all individuals will take significant risk to win an unlikely prize (a lottery, a jackpot) but risk the same amount or less to gain a far more likely result. Similarly, people are very risk averse to very low probability results that have a modest or high cost (like a house burning down, or an early death) but show virtually no aversion to great or certain risk of modest or great losses (buying expensive automobiles which will depreciate rapidly in real dollars, eating out a lot) People underestimate both high and low risk events and their results. People have high degrees of overconfidence when answering very difficult questions (listen to how many people think they have a clue about Quantum physics for

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example)...but the same people have very LOW degrees of confidence and certainty when answering questions that are easy.

4. Self Valuation

Here's a crucial element for which I'll give you some quick highlights.

People completely believe that they are better than other people. In one recent study, 81% of all new business owners said they had a better than 80% chance to succeed in their new venture and also noted that only 39% of others in the SAME BUSINESS would do so.

82% of new drivers say that they are in the top 30% of their peers!

Among managers of mutual funds, 97.3% see themselves better than the average mutual fund manager!!!!

Key: People believe they are better and smarter than others. Are you appealing to this fact? More importantly: People who have expertise are even MORE certain of their superiority to others. If you're missing this button, it's your own fault.

5. Self Rationalization

Research shows that when people can't have what they want and are forced to settle for second or third or fourth best they immediately repair the internal dissonance by rationalizing that they didn't really want what they could have had.

In fact, current research now shows that people not only rationalize but argue that they are BETTER OFF with what they got instead of what they wanted.

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How to use Steven Spielberg's Key to Success (Influence) for Your Business,

Selling, and your SELF

Kevin Hogan

When sales "experts" talk of your doubling or tripling sales if you take their sales course, I can assure you that rarely does the hype meet the reality. (It actually can't for most products and services because of various macroeconomic realities.) Nevertheless if you would like to acquire the business of the vast majority of people who have an interest in you, your product or service, read on. Enter Their World You enter their world so you can grab them and bring them into yours. Few do it. Those that do, succeed. Those that don't, fail. The Rule of 90/10 Here the 90/10 rule applies. 90% don't and 10% do. The reason people have always sold that magical 10% of people they talk with is because of simple math. The world that they are in and how they have been taught to present information to someone matches almost 10% of their "potential market." I remember selling advertising and insurance a long time ago in a galaxy far away. At first I was in the magical 10% result category until it dawned on me that it wasn't necessary to sell the way every other person sold things. The Statistics of "Sales" "If you just see the people, you'll sell one in ten." And I did. Actually I sold a lot more than one in ten, but I never liked to walk in someone's door and three hours later hear, "No thanks." I HATED the idea that theoretically 9 in 10 should say no to me each day. I had a hard enough time stomaching that a good baseball player got a hit only 30% of the time. Understanding math and statistics from a childhood fascination and study of probability, I knew that 1/10 meant that over a period of a week that easily could mean NO INCOME AT ALL. Because 1/10 of appointments converted into sales (and I would indeed have about 10 appointments per day) statistically means that over 20% of all weeks would have ZERO, one or two sales...and if I wasn't the maniac hard worker I was, seeing five

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appointments a day as most people did in advertising and insurance, would lead to almost half the weeks with one or NO sales and that meant NO INCOME. Understanding income was never complicated. You grow up in poverty and you see precisely what causes zero income. You see what causes people to get fired and what causes people to keep their job. You kept your job if your income, plus the raw cost of the product, plus the cost of the company to take care of you all day (space in the building, air conditioning if they had it, a bathroom that brought in no income) was less than the dollars you brought in. (Unless you worked for a government, then it didn't matter.) Essentially, selling 1/10 put a person on the precipice of losing their job, because the program was designed to sell that 1/10 and that meant statistically that by simple BAD LUCK you could EASILY be out of a job in months or weeks. And living in poverty was never indicative of good luck. So understanding math and poverty caused certainty that doing things "the way I was told" might work, but it just as easily might land you on the street. I knew I could do better than that. But how?

Aspiring to Eat

I can do better than that. Way better.

I'll follow statistical probabilities and do them my way.

I wasn't aspiring to greatness. I was aspiring to eat.

Then things got complicated...

When I was sixteen years old, 1/6 of all adult Americans were unemployed and the chances of "getting a job" were going to be a function of statistics and not how smart you were. Teenage unemployment was about half in those days and no matter what happened, that wasn't an option. Those conditions lasted another 4-5 years and then the economy smoothed out for the nation, but a lot of people I knew, who didn't understand statistics the way the poor kid from Chicago did, never had a chance.

What "Works" in Selling?

So from early years through age 25, there were clear-cut choices if I wanted to insure...just having...a job.

From age fourteen forward, I read books about selling. I tested every single technique I ever read. Some of them worked and some of them didn't. I had no religious affiliation to any sales technique or set of rules for selling at any point in early life (or later for that matter). It was all about pragmatism. "What will actually WORK?"

It became obvious that selling was all about relationships (for those who sold more than 1 in 10). It was about persuasiveness and persistence. And it was about "morning decision, development, direction, determination and deliberation."

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The Fuel of Accomplishment

We'll come back to the rest of the story later. For now, simply know that desperation was the fuel of accomplishment...

What is it that Steven Spielberg does so well that, if you do it, you will sell more, influence almost everyone, and achieve greatness as well?

The Landscape Effect

The Landscape Effect is...entering someone else's reality and understanding it, feeling it, living it, being able to communicate it, empathize with it, and work within it...then make the path to your reality seamless as far as entrance, experience, feeling and sensation.

When I saw "War of the Worlds" with Tom Cruise a few weeks ago, I saw Spielberg's mastery but didn't THINK ABOUT IT until after the movie was over.

Spielberg begins the movie with a very short spoken piece by Morgan Freeman, which will be important and discussed in detail in the advanced renderings of this technique.

Early in the movie, we find Cruise and his son playing a game of catch in the backyard of their very modest New York home. And it was the kind of game of catch where two people aren't in a very good mood and they throw a little harder and faster. You witness father and son aggression. Very common in real life.

Soon we have Cruise's ex-wife and her new husband bringing the daughter to the house with all of the discomforts and awkwardness and negative emotions that are typical of that scene...altogether common.

If one of these two elements hasn't struck a chord, the messy house and the teenager driving off in Dad's car will.

And to this point, nothing all that "interesting" has happened. We see a very real family situation in a very real big city with very real people on the streets.

And Spielberg continues to enter our world by having Cruise look to the clouds and note the odd formation the clouds take.

Spielberg in a very short amount of time has visited our reality, showed it to us and then, when we are convinced that this is indeed our reality...he then makes his presentation.

And his presentation, the story begins with a post 9/11 trauma where the result of the trauma is believable in America, largely because of 9/11. Horrifying things happening in the streets of New York with people reacting precisely how they would...and how do we know? Because we have thousands of feet of video from 9/11. We have seen people racing with terror away from a 100-foot building that is

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crumbling before our eyes. Never before has terror been so clearly documented and captured on footage.

So in the bridge from our world to Spielberg's he continues to understand us by vividly portraying what it is like to be part of a crowd...terrified by that which is not understood by the crowd.

The Landscape has been painted and the metaphorical bridge is drawn. Now you enter Spielberg's world.

For years, I've taught people that others will only listen to your novel presentation of your product or service IF they understand that they can see YOU in their shoes from the beginning.

And having put us in our Landscape so clearly, we now are ready for what is different. What is new. We are ready to witness that which is novel: What the product or service will do for us.

The brain has matched the Landscapes of your reality and their reality and NOW the novel experiences will be those that are attended to by the brain.

Had you put them at the beginning of the story, you simply cause your listener to change the channel or simply not believe you. Neither results in the sale being made, gaining a client or a relationship created.

The Landscape is the door to what you have that is different, novel and new.

What does it take to utilize the Landscape Effect?

What it Takes to Utilize the Landscape Effect

Start in your Landscape and you will sell the statistical 1/10 that is so common...even to this day...because using the Landscape Effect takes THINKING and PREPARATION and EMPATHY.

These are tough things to teach in marketing and at sales training...even if they knew what they were doing...people aren't used to communicating effectively, with intention, with the ability to build a relationship, create a client, gain a loyal customer, make someone feel comfortable.

With proper use of the Landscape Effect, you accomplish all of these things.

Now, let me ask you a question.

When we first started reading this article together, did you resonate with my reality of simply needing to have a job that I couldn't afford to lose? Have you ever had that situation in life?

If I truly want you to enter into a relationship with me at any level, I first must enter your landscape and your reality, before showing you what is new and novel. That

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which is unusual. Because, even if "it" is "free," that doesn't mean you will accept it. Only when I have come into your reality does it become accepted.

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Transformational Persuasion Techniques That Overcome Resistance

Kevin Hogan

If you were to completely devour only one article I write this year, and completely immerse yourself in understanding it...this one will probably help you add the most dollars to your wallet and add to your peace of mind. Status Quo vs. Change You are meeting with your client, your customer for one reason only. To cause a change. Something must go. Something must change. You already know that the "status quo" is a wicked problem that each of us faces when dealing with others. Here are a few things that were the status quo that were successfully changed. Watch and see how...

• 8 Track Tapes. Good luck finding one today. • Record Albums. Show me your record player and new "diamond" needle. • Music on Audio Tape. Going the way of the dinosaur...fast. • Video. Same. • Cars without airbags. • Houses without clothes dryers. • Homes without personal computers • The Encyclopedia on the bookshelf.

You get the idea. The status quo is a disaster waiting to happen for almost anyone. If the status quo doesn't serve a basic human desire (sex, food, shelter, clothing, learning, acquisition, security, tranquility, etc, see Covert Hypnosis CD Program for all 16.) it will eventually be killed off by the first person who can successfully appeal to one of the 16 desires. Before I show you the four types of communication that cause rapid change, I want you to consider this. Almost every company in the DOW (stock market) from say, 75 years ago, is long gone. Security is built in change and not the status quo, but your client believes that the status quo is the only security there is. Change Talk and Resistance When you communicate to change, there are only five types of "transformational messaging." You need to know them all.

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And, there are four different processes of resistance. I'm going to show you each of these in this article and get you on the track of understanding, identifying, and solving all of them.

Let's start with the 4 transformational messages that MUST be used in almost every successful communication designed for persuasion.

1. Disadvantages and Pessimism of the Status Quo. 2. Advantages of Change 3. Optimism for Change 4. Intention to Change 5. (I'll get to this later)

Your client must communicate all four of the above elements to you in some fashion that staying "the course" will ultimately lead to disaster. That's right, I said your client must communicate these four to YOU. Exegetical Persuasion. They must tell you what is wrong with the status quo. In their own words. Not yours. They must tell you the advantages of change. They must share with you an optimism for change, even if it is simply acknowledging that it is better than what they have right now. Finally they must intend to change internally. (Then of course, they must change.) Whether your client goes to the medical doctor, the car salesperson, the life insurance gal or the real estate guy, these things must all happen for change to have ANY chance of "sticking." The Problem with Persuaders What happens, though, is that persuaders tend to either tell a few stories without a context or they ask questions without thought for how the client can have flexibility in response. Many salespeople try and take the future client out of the communication interaction by forcing a specific response no matter how obvious. All of these are techniques of people who fail. Example: Speaker 1: So you agree that you must have a speaker who is motivating? Prospective Client: Yes. Speaker 1: And you know you need to have someone that is going to validate your mission statement and communicate that affirmation of the company to your employees? Prospective Client: Yes. Speaker 1: And you want someone who is going to make you look good?

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Prospective Client: Of course. Speaker 1: Then hire me. Prospective Client: I'll think about it John..... Sure. Lots of yeses. Cool huh? That's what you were taught in Selling 101. So this is what to do right? Nope. Not so cool. Not so good. Down right lousy. It turns persuasion in all its forms into a (very small) "numbers game." This is not how you sell by asking questions. It isn't how you sell compliance in the doctor's office. It isn't how you sell a car, a house, or a hamburger. This methodology WAS the status quo of selling technique 30 years ago...and then it was blessedly buried with the dinosaurs. YES: You must get agreement on basics. NO: You do want to treat a client like an automaton. KEY: When you ask questions, you don't have every answer or solution ready to bash them over the head, but you have the ability to figure out the solution with your client. Remember the story I sometimes tell of the wife who tries for hours to fix something at home? The guy comes home from work. She's in a bad mood. He's fine. She tells him how hard her day has been trying to fix this thing. He walks over to it and immediately turns a screw and poof it works instantly. Should make the world a better place and the wife happy, right? You've got to be kidding. People need to FEEL COMPETENT. They don't only want a result. Absolutely, positively NOT. GOLDEN KEY: People do not only want results...they want feelings and experiences as well. They don't ONLY want a problem solved. They want to FEEL competent and as if they are part of the solution. If you fail to accomplish this, you will lose far more often than you win even though you immediately solve their problem.... The Prospective Client above doesn't want to be boxed in to your box with you. They must HAVE and FEEL freedom to think, feel intelligent, experience self esteem when talking to you and KNOW that you get their business, life, problems before they say "yes!" to you.

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Here's what I do when I am communicating with a prospective client about speaking with their group at a meeting or perhaps giving a training in influence or body language.

I formulate a series of questions. Some of these are relevant to my fee, but most aren't. Most are relevant to the content of my presentation and what the current state of the company/department/association is. I'm always sensitive to the reality that the person I'm talking to doesn't want to share a lot of this information that is "private." I also know (and so do they) that if they don't tell me this information they will get just another motivational speech that takes 100 people away from their job for a couple of hours and gets them nothing in return for a couple of hours.

• What is the purpose of the meeting? • What are you hoping to accomplish? • Who else will be speaking? About what? • Why did you contact me instead of Zig Ziglar or Stephen Covey? • What do you want me to communicate to your audience? • I've done a lot of research into your company. What I've discovered is (then I

state the good and the bad things I've found...whatever they are).....do you want ANY of these things positive or negative addressed and reshaped for the future?

• What things DON'T you want me to touch on? • What is your biggest concern about bringing me in to your company? • What is your greatest benefit of bringing me into your company? • If we are successful in increasing cohesion, compliance and improving skills,

would you be interested in a mutually beneficial long term relationship?

Those questions show the planner that she has contacted the right person. I'm not worried about "losing the gig." If the client can't handle working with someone who understands their business, they shouldn't hire me. When I walk in the door I will be able to sell their product or service. I will know it inside and out. I will know how their company "thinks." I will be able to represent them intelligently and ethically both at the meeting and when I talk about them in the future. Based on what the client tells me, I will have figured out at least 5 opportunities for change and three of them will be blockbusters... In other words, all they have to do is the three things I suggest and each of the strategies will bump their business by about 10%. Why? ...and HOW? Understanding RESISTANCE to CHANGE TALK Even though they know some of the techniques and strategies I might share with them, they aren't DOING them and that's the same as not knowing them.... and I will MAKE them do what it takes to be successful in their business or I WON'T come back. I will utilize transformational messaging!

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Remember when your mom told you to save 10% of your money? If you had listened, you are probably wealthy today. If you didn't (and who listened to Mom anyway?) you probably aren't. The Million Dollar Round Table didn't invite me back last year because I'm cute and cuddly (OK, there is that!) but because I do three things that no one else does for them.

1. I learn the business of their membership. I know almost as much as they do about retirement, life insurance, etc.

2. I show them specific strategies that they don't get from Zig, Tony or Brian based upon the unique qualities, challenges, and problems of their business.

3. I love their business and care about them as people because I get to know them.

4. No matter how unlike other speakers I am (because I am not your typical motivational speaker)...the audiences always say the same thing: "best," "learned so much" and most importantly "WILL APPLY and IMPLEMENT."

Get the idea? You hire me and I will DEMAND that you change. If I like the group, I want to come back. (This isn't always the case of course, but when a group is intelligent, fun and has integrity, I want to work with that company/association.) I don't want to be associated with anyone who refuses to improve their business...themselves...to change. I don't want to hang out with people who refuse to excel and be the best they can, refuse to care as much about their customers as I do about my audience and each member's success. Most importantly I stick with a company or association that has high integrity and avoid others like the plague. When you have this attitude, people LISTEN and when you ask questions you aren't boxing them in, you are taking them OUT of their box and making them LOOK inside to see how crummy the status quo is. Then you show them possible futures. Then I get them committed to making changes. And they DO. Everyday I get mail that says, "I started doing X and since I did, sales have gone UP..." The Risks? I might rub someone the wrong way. I might come across as opinionated. I might leave a political comment in the air or tell a quick story about a recent trip I made to let them know that I am NOT trying to B.S. them with some false Kevin Hogan. Everyone who knows me says I'm "a nice guy" ....because I am. But I'm not push over nice. I'm caring nice. Big difference. Solutions and presentations are often different but I am always the same. That's why I ask TONS of questions that are HARD to answer before I walk in the door. Then when I get there I know their business almost as well as they do. (Scary huh?) And I'm the guy who will get them to change because of the research and because of the questions I ask. I do care. I want them to succeed. I will get them to succeed. PLATINUM KEY: I don't want to ask a "yes set" of questions. I want to make the woman who is going to hire me REALLY uncomfortable that if she doesn't, her company will have wasted their five figures on someone who came in and LOOKED good.... Yippee.

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I want the company to have even greater integrity and greater profits and I find out the internal problems and then get inside of the audience's collective head and cause the four elements of change talk noted above. Here they are again for you.

1. Disadvantages and Pessimism of the Status Quo. 2. Advantages of Change 3. Optimism for Change 4. Intention to Change

In order to get to yes though, they (your customer) need to express honest pessimism about the status quo. They have to tell me what the advantages of change are and that they have the efficacy to do so. Finally they have to want to change. Companies are made up of lots of people who can't or don't want to change. Once they tell me how they can change or how I can be the catalyst or the spark...then we can and WILL all win. Processes of Resistance But there will be resistance, even if they are calling me. (and that's how it works in the speaking profession...they call you because they heard you were great, then don't believe their own source and ask to watch a video...is that odd or what?) There are four basic "processes" of resistance (not reactance which we discuss in detail elsewhere in The Science of Influence).

1. They argue. 2. They interrupt. 3. They negate. 4. They ignore.

KEY: The person of influence can communicate something that is completely rational and in the other person's best interest and the other person will want to (and succeed) at arguing. Three things can happen when they are in the process of arguing. These are challenges to your integrity, expertise and knowledge. We'll talk about dealing with these later.

• They can challenge your knowledge and accuracy. • They can discount what you say as being not as important as you say it is. • They can become hostile.

They will interrupt you, cut you off and take over the conversation. They can negate what you are saying as true (about them) in one of many ways.

• Blaming you or other people. • Disagreeing with you. • Excuses for not changing. • Claiming impunity. (They will have plenty for retirement. Their company

doesn't need change.) • Minimizing. They will tell you that things aren't as bad as you suggest. • Pessimism about themselves...not the status quo. They can't do it or make

the change.

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• Unwillingness to change. Complete lack of desire or intention to change.

We'll talk in detail about how to deal with these later. Finally, there is 'ignoring.' Ignoring manifests itself as resistance in three ways.

1. Inattention to you. They simply aren't listening. 2. Nonanswer. They are unresponsive to you. 3. Sidetracking. They change the direction of the conversation and don't face the

core issue or the subject at hand.

Whether you are a minister, a salesperson, a manager, a meeting planner or a counselor you are probably nodding your head salivating, saying, "WOW! I get that all the time.” What does it mean? Don't worry it isn't just about you. It's about everyone. It's how we have developed our mental models for 30 years that cause us to respond in certain ways. And because of that... ...there are ways to handle each of them as well...

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9 Hidden Factors that Cause "Yes" or "No."

Kevin Hogan

If you knew that by tapping three times on your left wrist would cause someone to regularly say "yes," then you would probably never wear a wrist watch again. The real decisions as to whether someone will buy your services or products...or you has very little to do with your actual service or product. It has to do with how people make decisions...what causes their behavior. In this article, I'm going to show you nine categories of "biases" that cause people to make the decisions that they make...nine ways that you can tap on your wrist... Each factor can be directly applied to your work and the promotion and selling of your work. Here's a quick example and a key to understanding everything that follows: If someone has a belief about something, they will see and process only further information that is consistent with that belief. They will disregard all other information no matter how important and accurate it is. When a football player catches a ball and there is a question (a close call) as to whether he is in bounds or out of bounds, typically there is no doubt in the minds of fans watching the same video. They will view the same information and come up with different decisions, based upon their biases. Interviewing Democrats and Republicans this week in the USA (before the election), it was found that the majority of democrats believed the elections in Iraq would not be considered "valid." Republicans thought it would be considered valid. Both groups were equally as certain they were right. The majority of Christians are just as certain as the majority of Jews who are just as certain as the majority of Muslims that their religion is the right and true religion. (Which makes good sense because who wants to be part of the wrong religion?) Of course this can cause a bit of a problem in people's behavior, as the world has witnessed. When people have beliefs which they will defend at every cost, lots of bad things can happen. What about when someone is deciding to buy you, your services or product? The VERY SAME biases that go into whether the player was in bounds, the religion is right, or the election is valid are the SAME BIASES that people filter information through to decide whether they will buy from YOU, whether they will do business with YOU, whether they will even TALK with you. Good or bad, there are certain types of information that cause people to decide what they are going to do.

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9 Core Areas Research currently being done for the U.S. military reveals 9 core areas of "bias," for information. That means there are 9 different categories of information that stop people from thinking about what matters in making good decisions. All of these factors are crucial for influence because decision making is the goal of every attempt to influence someone. (You want them to make a decision.) Simply put, if you want someone to buy you and your products, and you are their best option, you must take advantage of the processes that cause people to make decisions. Here in this article are the preprogrammed biases that people will use to filter you and everything you say.

Research into how people make decisions while under pressure could help the U.S. military improve training for its leaders and lead to better decision-support systems. Studies have shown that when people process information, they develop unconscious strategies – or biases – that simplify their decisions. Now, research at the Georgia Tech Research Institute (GTRI) is revealing how these biases affect people when they're dealing with lots of information – and little time to form conclusions.

"The immediate application for this research is to develop training programs to improve decision-making," said Dennis Folds, a principal research scientist in GTRI's Electronic Systems Laboratory. "Yet our findings could also help design new types of decision-support systems." The research indicated that nine different kinds of biases can lead to errors in judgment when people are dealing with a lot of information. Meanwhile, the error rate was not as high as researchers expected for individuals under time pressure. Also, the study revealed that subjects who were trained to spot conditions that lead to decision-making biases were better at detecting "false-alarm opportunities."

The Army Research Institute funded Folds to conduct a series of experiments that combined a high volume of data with time pressures. The experiments simulated the changing reality of military decision-makers. Commanders today communicate more directly with field personnel. The amount and variety of information at their disposal has escalated with sources ranging from real-time sensors and voice communications to archived data. The result can be ambiguous, disjointed information rather than integrated, organized reports.

"This puts far greater pressure on leaders, who must make faster decisions while sifting through more data," Folds noted. In his experiments, he considered previous research on seven specific biases that affect individuals who must wrestle with large amounts of data:

• Absence of evidence. Missing, relevant information is not properly considered. • Availability. Recent events or well-known conjecture provide convenient

explanations. • Oversensitivity to consistency. People give more weight to multiple reports of

information, even if the data came from the same source.

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• Persistence of discredited information. Information once deemed relevant continues to influence even after it has been discredited.

• Randomness. People perceive a causal relationship when two or more events share some similarity, although the events aren't related.

• Sample size. Evidence from small samples is seen as having the same significance as larger samples.

• Vividness. When people perceive information directly, it has greater impact than information they receive secondhand -- even if the secondhand information has more substance.

To test the affects of these biases, Folds had experiment subjects view an inbox on a computer screen containing a variety of text messages, maps, photographs and video and audio recordings. Subjects (the majority being Georgia Tech ROTC students) were instructed to report certain military situations, such as incidents of sniper fire or acts of suspected sabotage. They were not to report other events, such as normal accidents in an urban area unrelated to enemy activity. To decide whether or not an event should be reported, subjects reviewed a series of messages that contained both bona fide evidence as well as information created to trigger the biases that cause poor decisions. In each trial, subjects were allowed enough time to spend an average of 20 seconds per element data plus one additional minute for reporting; they were also asked to attach information that supported their decision. In the first experiment, all seven biases appeared with the greatest number of errors caused by vividness and oversensitivity to consistency. In addition, Folds discovered two new biases that can hinder the quality of rapid decisions:

• Superficial similarity. Evidence is considered relevant because of some superficial attribute, such as a key word in a message title. For example, a hostage situation might have been reported earlier, and then another message shows up in the inbox with the word "hostage" in its header, although the message's actual content has nothing to do with hostages.

• Sensationalist appeal. Items containing exaggerated claims or threats influence a decision-maker even when there is no substance to the content.

Folds was surprised at how well subjects could perform the task while under pressure, he said. Although he expected an accuracy rate of about 50 percent, subjects correctly reported 70 percent of incidents. In a second experiment, researchers divided subjects into two groups, using one as a control group while training the other group how to spot conditions that spark decision-making biases. Subjects who received training were able to detect about twice as many "false-alarm opportunities" as the control group. The biggest difference between the two groups involved "persistence of discredited information" and "small sample" biases. Forty-eight percent of trained subjects were able to recognize when a "persistence" bias existed compared to 18 percent of the control group. Fifty percent of trained subjects caught the "sample-size" traps versus 11 percent of the control group. Although training helped participants recognize when traps existed, it didn't help them identify the specific bias. "When subjects were under pressure to make decisions rapidly, the distinctiveness of the categories

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fell apart," Folds explained. "That's significant, because it helps us tailor training efforts." The experiments also revealed what kind of information is meaningful to decision-makers, Folds noted. Software designed especially for the trials tracks when subjects open a document for the first time and when they go back for a second time or third look. The amount of time that subjects spend reviewing data – along with the data they attach to reports showed a decided preference for text messages over other formats. Folds' team is conducting more research: Two new sets of trials are examining how decision-making errors occur in groups, while another experiment is trying to pinpoint how rapidly individuals can make good decisions.

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Persuasion: The Final Answer Your client doesn't think...he just thinks

he does...

Kevin Hogan

Your Persuasion Challenge Invest 20 minutes right now as what you read here will directly affect everything you do for the rest of the day. Read this then do it. This article will disappear from the web on Saturday, so please, do it now! Your competition will if you don't. Your boss will pay you a heck of a lot more money in bonuses, and, if you work for yourself ...you will add about 12-13% to your gross income by simply using this information...ready? If you had only one piece of information about other people, how they think, buy, say "yes" or "no" and precisely WHY....then this would be the most useful 20 minutes you ever invested in persuading others to your way of thinking. (More than the law of reciprocity? More than Omega Strategies? More than expectancy? More than your attitude? More than anticipated regret? More than framing? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.) How Do People Think? If people had to "think" about everything that they did or had to do, nothing would ever get done, decisions would never be made, sales would never close and no one would ever get well. Each decision in life would simply take an enormous amount of time and we would all be dead in the morning...

(The car is coming into my lane. Hmmm...should I swerve to the left or to the right. If I go to the left, I will certainly hit him. If I go to the right, I will fall 20 feet into the ravine. These aren't good options.....SPLAT.)

Can't happen. You simply react. Poof. In a split second you spun left or right and whatever happens...happens. So what?

Each hour, you face 50-100 "potential decisions." These are "choice points" where you can choose X, Y, or Z...or other options...or you can simply run on "autopilot" and do or not do what you have always done in these situations.

(Should I start dinner? Wash the car? Take a shower? Switch to Small Cap Value Stocks? Ask her out tonight? Call the prospect or email her? Take a nap or finish the project?)

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Overwhelm? The Brain's "Rules of Thumb" Not usually. Your brain has basic "rules" or "rules of thumb" that it has learned from "experience" in the past and will act instead of taking the time to decide. Sometimes these "instincts" or "intuitions" will turn out to be "good decisions." Other times you will wonder what you were thinking! Because there are about 1000 choice points each day, the brain has a whole bunch of preprogrammed reactions to the things you get yourself into...and everyday situations. These preprogrammed reactions are what make life less overwhelming. They have evolved to help us survive in the jungle and on the Savannah but sometimes they don't do very well in New York City. (The reaction to a loud growling noise in the jungle is almost the same as it is to the loud horn tooting in the Bronx...and reaction is pretty much the same in each case. Oh my....) And what does this have to do with persuasion? Only everything! How to Present in a Winning Way You see, if you present information to someone in a way that triggers a preprogrammed response in your favor, you both win. If you present information in a way that triggers a preprogrammed response against you, you might both lose. It all starts with knowing HOW and WHAT the other person has programmed inside of them. THEN you can determine WHAT information to present to them...and HOW to do it. Result: "Yes!" And....you can know in advance how most people have been programmed. The majority? Yes...the VAST majority. I'm going to show you how...

I'm going to show you how to present information and what will likely happen in each situation. Over the last 30 CD's of Science of Influence, I've shared a number of these with you. (Anticipated regret, framing, overconfidence, hindsight biases, mood, viral contagion and so forth) You've applied them and made a lot more money...and a lot more friends.

I want to show you the basic "categories" for how to present information so it is readily accepted, then I'll give you several dozen more specific "lines of code" so it's easier to think of them as you communicate. There are only...four categories so you shouldn't have any trouble learning them, remembering them and then utilizing them!

The Persuasion Code (and how to decipher it!)

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• Self Deception. Your client believes that he is better looking than the average person. He believes that he is happier than the average person. He believes he is smarter than the average person. He believes he got a good deal on his last car purchase. He believes his doctor is the best. He believes that he "broke even" the last time he went to Vegas. He believes he predicted 9/11 would happen because of lax security in the 1990's at American airports. He believes that he knew the NASDAQ would crash when it hit 5000 in 1999. He thinks he works hard. He thinks he got good grades in school (mostly "A"'s). He thinks he made a lot more money last year than he did. He believes...you get the idea?

Self deception is at the root of understanding how your client is programmed. (Some hardwire...some environmental)

Most people don't make up lies and then tell the world. But your client makes up stories and reasons to support why he behaves in the way he does. (Underline this, highlight it and paste it on your refrigerator.) Why? Because he wasn't thinking. He just did X. There was no thought. He simply swerved one way or the other. Then someone comes along and says "why did you do that."

He says something made up out of thin air...because he has NO idea of WHY he did what he did. He just DID it.

Before digging into just what all this self deception does for your client and how real it is to him...and HOW to work within the framework of his self deception, let's look at the next category.

• Heuristics. (Ugly big word that means "rules of thumb") Your client looks at a huge menu and freezes. He has no idea what to buy. It ALL looks SO good! The waiter points out the New York Strip Steak and of course he orders it. Whew. Menu's freeze people and waiters unfreeze them. (Think that might be valuable in persuading YOUR client?!?!?)

Your client is given tons of information everyday. He muddles his way through 1% of it. His unconscious mind makes 99% of all choices and decisions in the course of the day. This is done by preprogrammed responses to certain types of situations. (Hear gunfire: Run) Rules of thumb sometimes be referred to as assumptions.

There's no thought involved though:

The Cubs have won 7 in a row. Bet them to win today. Red has come up 10 times in a row on the roulette wheel. Bet BIG! The stock is hot. Buy NOW! Heads has come up 10 times in a row. You're on a lucky streak!

And he will be broke in a month if he followed through on all the preprogrammed responses in his brain if he moves to Vegas. • Emotions

"I get a gut instinct and I follow my gut." "It's my intuition."

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That and $4 will get your client a Starbucks but this is how he thinks. He believes his stomach talks to him and tells him what to do and that it is a good thing. If he has a multi million dollar business, a happy marriage of 50 years and kids that are in Harvard, then you might know he's on target. Generally when his stomach talks he needs an acid reliever but you can't tell him that or you're out of the deal. Emotions have nothing to do with reality. They are the interpretive part of reality. I've talked to you a great deal about emotions and how they play into the persuasion process. Just remember this: Your client believes HIS emotions matter in decision making and that they are right. He follows HIS gut. You're going to need to know the six basic ways emotions play out in the persuasion process and how to preframe every bit of your communication so his emotions stay in check while you present information to him. One thing is for sure. He'll get a bad "feeling" about you if you don't agree with his emotional beliefs. • Social Interaction. Your client thinks he is unique in his decisions, that he makes good decisions and that nothing influences him. He would never believe that he will parrot what his neighbors and fellow church members do, say and believe. He would never accept the idea that he could be affected by viral marketing. He thinks he's an independent thinker. He believes he bought his last car based on common sense and not the fact that it makes him LOOK good in the eyes of his neighbors and co-workers. The reality is of course that everything your client does is in large part to impress others and feel like he has received their approval. He wears the clothes he does because he successfully imitates those around him. You may or may not (probably may NOT) want to tell him that you understand this about him. In fact, he isn't paying you to teach him persuasion, decision making, selling, therapy or social psychology. You are with him for one reason and one reason only. Accomplish that goal and move along. Now you have the four broad categories of reactions by which your client will react to information with. They will all happen in an instant. When they don't he will have to think and that is darned inconvenient and your client, like everyone else, will repel the need to think and say. "NO!" IF ALL of your information fits into his filters (there are 26) then he will say "yes." If they don't, he will say "no." It has very little to do with your client needing your services. It has to do with how he FEELS about you...and how he SEES you...and how he SEES OTHERS commenting on his RELATIONSHIP with you.

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I'll Think About It

Kevin Hogan

I'll think about it. In selling you hear those four words a lot.(Everyone does!)You also hear those four little words in every other aspect of your life What do those words REALLY mean? Have you failed somehow? Why do people respond with those words or something very close when the answer to the question or response to the proposal is glaringly obvious? It means they don't "feel" right in at least one way. They can't quantify it because it is a feeling (or feelings) so you better be prepared! Let's look at "feelings" and what they mean in the persuasion process. The pendulum swings back and forth. At each moment in time it's a slightly different place than it was just a fraction of a second before. And so it goes until it stops...where? Right back in the middle..."I don't know." "Maybe." The unconscious mind runs off of survival instincts, sometimes with success, sometimes not. The unconscious mind is very different from the conscious mind. It runs on autopilot. Basically a stimulus/response mechanism that adapts along the way...but slowly. The conscious mind is that "computer", if you will, that thinks, calculates, and can make a decision. But those decisions come at a cost. The unconscious is often drawn in many different directions, not just one or two and to cut off any option is a threat to the freedom of the being. (Write that down. This will be referred to, by people as, "I have a bad feeling," "I'm not sure," "I don't feel comfortable," and so on. ) Eliminating choices to a human (and many other animals) can be quite an experience. You and I hate to see that freedom say, "goodbye." And for good reason. While there are options (escape routes) there is comfort in the status quo. When there is comfort in the status quo (what's going on today) there is seemingly little reason to change. Many animals hunt other animals with this fundamental principle as the guiding principle. "Let them feel secure, safe, then kill." Sun Tzu may have even written about it. People want to "feel good," and "feel comfortable" so they can live in the illusion that they are "happy," when of course the delusion will be shattered in short course. There is no relationship between "feeling comfortable" today and long term happiness. I would suggest the opposite..but... ...is going for the "yes" response like going for the "kill?" That seems...so wrong! And it would be if you were going to kill someone.

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Unfortunately most people perceive every change from the status quo as a threat to their survival, at the unconscious level. Someone wants to quit smoking cigarettes for example. Now at the conscious level that is a no brainer. Lung cancer will chew you up and spit you out. But at the unconscious level the smoking is behaviorally wired into the brain as an adaptation. Just like overeating. You wonder why so many people that live in poverty are grossly obese? They want to FEEL GOOD and they want the most important choice they have to not be taken away. Think you can change that using conventional thinking? Not likely. It has nothing to do with "sense" or "logic." Someone's feelings will challenge all of your persuasive communication and in fact that is just about ALL communication. Take away the option of smoking and the being goes nuts inside. Anxiety hits stellar levels. Take away the option of choosing more food and the being once again goes nuts inside. They know they shouldn't FEEL this way but they do. In Hale Dwoskin's book, The Sedona Method he shares Levenson's tools for letting feelings of fear, anger, shame, resentment and grief ...go. Why? Because feelings are the muck of life. They kill the being. They are the unreliable indicators that destroy lives. And when you feel bad AND your life is going to heck, you have a double dose of disaster. Most people really believe they should "trust their feelings." If you do, you are destined for more than failure in all aspects of your life. You will never persuade or be persuaded of something you currently don't experience. In other words, you will remain S.Q. for the rest of your life. Feelings aren't a barometer of the quality of life. They aren't a barometer of good and bad, (long term) happiness or sadness even... They are a barometer of the unconscious mind's past experiences and genetic programming which more often than not need to be changed. And when you are attempting to persuade someone, you can bet that the person's conscious mind will analyze your offer and come up with a fairly quick rational decision followed immediately by a flood of anticipated regret if they decide to do what you ask. So they say yes then they "feel no." Now the person doesn't trust you. And they...think...it's you! You're manipulating them. Really? Ever see someone buy a $25,000 vehicle right after they quit their job? They needed to fill the option void that would likely exist upon further review. Everyone knows that once you buy it, it's yours in the car biz. So, they buy today BECAUSE they won't have the money tomorrow. Makes no sense because sense doesn't come into play. It's all instinct and behavioral shaping of the unconscious mind that causes people to FEEL. As soon as they feel STRONGLY, then everything can quickly go to heck, unless something is done and fast. People's gut instinct took the Twin Towers down. People's feelings caused the train to be blown up yesterday in Chechnya. They were sure their feelings were "right." They trusted their gut, and "knew" they were "doing the right thing." History only repeats itself every few days or years. In 1999 people were saying "this time it's different" because they felt the greed and euphoria of getting rich fast in the stock market. Um, it's not different. Do not trust those feelings ever. When Saddam gives you the

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big smile you can trust him, but just let the mustache remind you of Adolph. You really want a guy on the run who kills his own people for sport? Feelings. They felt totally in the right. Remember that the next time someone tells you they don't "feel right" or "have a bad feeling." Here's the reality principle: Life: It really is all about persuasion. People must go up one level from feelings to thought and take control of their lives. Part of that is all about being persuaded (changing) and persuading (causing change). Almost every time you open your mouth you want someone to do something for you. You want them to say "yes" to you, "no" to the competitor and do business just with you.

You want the girl to go out with you, dump her boy friend and be eternally devoted to you.

You want the guy to marry you, massage your feet, and bring home the

bacon.

You want them to hold the mayo, bring you a fork, and change your $100 bill.

You want them to pick up their clothes, turn the music down and study. It's all about persuasion. I could show you a lot of books that have some pretty funny ideas about what gets people do things. Sometimes they work, sometimes they rarely work, sometimes they just end up making you look...well...dumb. My outcome for you is to be able to persuade almost anyone to do almost anything in less than eight minutes. Now, here's the rub. I can show you how to get that sale, almost any sale. Once. I can show you how to get that girl, almost any girl. Once. I can show you how to get the kids to listen. Once. I can show you how to get great service. Once. But...after you have that first "yes" your personality and who YOU are becomes crucial. Getting the first "yes" is the toughest. Getting the second is easier but it's a different ball game completely. Once someone has knowledge about you in a certain area or a certain way, you have to utilize a number of new strategies to get to "yes,"

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again. And, of course, I'll give you tips along the way about how to do just that. Nevertheless, this book is about getting the "tough" yes. It's all about converting her from him to you. About getting them to switch from them to you. About getting compliance NOW. And you will be able to do it. Amazed? I was too. You have to deal with the feelings. You have to get people's feelings positively linked to you. Real or illusion, if you have the answer to their problem, the solution to their challenge, you must create positive feelings in that person or you will end up with wider swings of oscillation. You have to assume that people will feel regret or anticipate the feeling of regret and prepare them for that outcome. You absolutely must realize that at any moment people are on the pendulum between the conscious mind response which is probably correct, and their feelings which are probably all over the map trying to "make sense" of your proposal or offer. You must get commitment and reinforce the person's decision as a good one. When you have commitment, in most cultures you have psychological pressures from the inside that almost obligate the person to move forward with what they have agreed to. Hopefully you represent the best product, service, idea...person in the area you excel in. As you become a Master of Influence you truly gain a valuable power that can bring on compliance rapidly in almost all situations.

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Influence: Don't Let Them Wonder or Leave ANYTHING to the Imagination

Kevin Hogan

This article will show you crucial elements in persuasion you have never seen before.

• You will discover the effect of ambiguity in influence. • You will discover the effect of clearly defined choices vs. ambiguously defined

choices in influence.

You will discover precisely when to use ambiguity in influence and all the rest of the times you will be sure that you don't. The results might surprise you... What is Ambiguity? Something can be considered ambiguous when it has an answer or solution but takes time to figure it out. It is not *immediately* obvious. Ambiguous can also mean that something doesn't have a clear-cut answer. That options are largely equal in pluses and minuses. When you present, influence, persuade, sell, manage, tell your kids what to do (all pretty much the same thing) there is one thing you best never do: leave something or anything ambiguous.

"You can see the benefits of having the Sony Laptop PCV 2250."

Inside my mind: "Huh? Um...the benefits, man what is he talking about? The speed or the ..."

"You know...I'll just pass."

Special BONUS KEY: When someone is a Sony customer, has bought the Sony Brand, knows what the Sony PCV 1180 is and is well versed in the distinctions and differences in brand specs, THEN these quirky little codes are effective. Here's how to remember whether you should be using these designations or not. If you aren't in the military, you don't have a clue what the two privates are saying to each other in military lingo. Thus if they tried to sell you something you'd be out of luck. But if you are in the military, then their language makes sense. Is your customer an expert at your product and it's distinctions with other products you sell? If so, great, fire away with FEATURES. If not, shoot for the BENEFITS. I originally was taught that it was often a good idea to use ambiguity when persuading others so that the other person would use their own imagination to construct internal representations about what they want in their own future.

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The concept never resonated with me...thank goodness. If you leave people without information that is necessary for them to make a positive decision, you must make certain that every element that your client needs answered is answered. The more ambiguous information in your proposal, the longer it takes them to decide. The longer it takes them to decide, the less likely they are to say, "yes."... in other words, the more likely the other person is to say no. Ambiguity shuts down logical thinking and causes people to literally re-act. It causes them to do things that make no sense. It loses sales. Let me explain by first giving a couple of examples from research then show you specifically what TO do. Imagine there is a bucket of balls. 30 balls are black. 60 balls are yellow OR white (one color). You win $100 if you guess the correct color of the first ball out of the bucket. What would the average person do? If you said black you are right on the nose. From a strictly mathematical point of view it makes no difference what you do. You've got a 50/50 chance of winning $100 if you say black then pick a ball. If you guess yellow or white, you have a 50/50 chance of guessing the other color but have twice as many balls. So half the people should choose black and half the people should pick yellow or white, but that isn't what happens. The vast majority of people choose black...but that shouldn't be how it is in the real world...it just is! You need to know how their mind is reacting in advance so you can carefully prepare your message! That's not the case, though. Most people choose black because the other option is ambiguous. Here's an even more interesting proposition. A bucket is packed with the same exact amount of black and red balls. Which color would you choose? Write your answer down then move on...

And watch what happens here:

A bucket is packed with the same exact amount of black and red balls. The top layer of balls was poured in last and you will be picking from the top layer. Which color do you choose?

Write your answer down.

Now that top layer of balls contains black or red balls just like the rest of the bucket contains black or red balls and the entire bucket is filled with half black and half red. So it doesn't matter what color you choose, but it takes MUCH longer to decide what to do in this case. Ambiguity.

People will favor options that have no benefit over the other for no logical reason.

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But there is more...

...participants are faced with two buckets. One bucket has balls numbered from 1-1000. The other bucket has 1000 numbers from 1-1000 randomly printed on the balls. Obviously many balls will have the same number...some numbers will not appear.

...a ball is pulled out of the second bucket. The number is 687.

Now, you have a chance to win money if you correctly guess the next number pulled out of one of the buckets. Which bucket do you choose to draw from?

The vast majority of people choose the bucket where they saw the number six eighty-seven pulled out of. There is no logical reason to favor this bucket over the other one. BUT the participants have SEEN a numbered ball out of this bucket. They choose this bucket.

In this case the second bucket is the MOST ambiguous. And indeed when the chances of a positive outcome are remote, people do choose the most ambiguous!!!

Finally check this out: Participants in a research project were asked to fill out a questionnaire for which they would be paid $1.50. Before the money was awarded they were offered a pen worth $2 instead of the money. 75% chose the nice pen.

Makes sense.

But when the experimenters added a third option of two plastic pens to the above two choices, 53% of the people took the money.

KEY! Do not leave ambiguous choices available to your client. Define clear cut differences between your service/product/self than the other available option. (If you choose more than one other competitor or feature, you might just as well slit your throat.) People don't want choices and they don't want a choice where they have to figure something out.

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Belief: Your Power Beyond Scope

Kevin Hogan

Belief. There is a mystical quality to even the word. A sense of power. And indeed it is not just an illusion. Your beliefs do more than shape your behavior, they can shape those around you...in ways you may not even realize. And indeed we are now acquiring evidence that shows that either positive beliefs or negative beliefs are far more powerful than the other. I will show you which in a moment. Time and again, research has demonstrated the power of an individual's self-fulfilling prophecies - if you envision yourself tripping as you walk across a stage, you will be more likely to stumble and fall. New evidence suggests that previous studies have underestimated not only the effect of our own negative prophecies, but also the power of others' false beliefs in promoting negative outcomes. When two or more people have similar false beliefs about another person, it's possible this could influence the person's behavior. Researchers Stephanie Madon, Max Guyll, Richard Spoth, and Jennifer Willard, all at Iowa State University, examined this phenomenon to see how much influence those collective beliefs have in determining a positive or negative reality. The researchers tested whether the false beliefs of mothers and fathers could predict the amount of drinking done by their adolescent children over the course of a year. Their study, "Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: The Synergistic Accumulative Effect of Parents' Beliefs on Children's Drinking Behavior," appeared in the December 2004 issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the American Psychological Society. The study involved 115 parents and their seventh grade children.

Parents filled out questionnaires that measured their beliefs about their children's alcohol use and the children also filled out a questionnaires at the start of the experiment, including items assessing their past alcohol use. Twelve months later, the children answered a questionnaire that ascertained their recent alcohol use. The results showed that parents' beliefs predicted their children's alcohol use beyond the risk factors - the self-fulfilling prophecy effect. This self-fulfilling effect was strongest when both parents overestimated their child's alcohol use - the synergistic accumulative effect.

However, when one or both parents underestimated their child's alcohol use, their child's predicted increase in alcohol use was similar, showing there was not a synergistic accumulation effect for positive beliefs. This pattern of showing synergistic accumulation for negative beliefs but not positive ones might reflect the manner in which people process negative and positive information. For example, research shows that negative information is more salient than positive information, perceived as more useful, and influences evaluations more. In addition, people also weigh costs more than rewards when making important decisions. Thus, the greater power of unfavorable versus favorable beliefs may reside in how people process negative versus positive information.

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These results could be significant when applied to the context of stereotyped groups that frequently bear the brunt of negative, false beliefs. In their everyday lives, individuals from stereotyped groups more often confront unfavorable than favorable beliefs from multiple perceivers due to consensually held stereotypes. A favorable belief may not be able to counteract the harmful effect of an unfavorable belief when there is a preponderance of unfavorable beliefs competing with it. Over time, the negative self-fulfilling prophecy effects could become more powerful as the number of people with negative perceptions increases.

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Covert Subliminal Persuasion: Seven Facts that Will Change the Way You

Influence Forever

Kevin Hogan

(adapted from The Science of Influence Library: 37-48, soon to be released) Can People Be Influenced Subliminally? The girl sees the word "sex" on the TV screen and of course she hypnotically becomes unyielding in her quest to dominate you. (Or guy, if the case is appropriate.) We all dreamed of it when we were younger (it wasn't just me, was it?)...and the images didn't fade much with time. In the last 15 years, subliminal perception and influence has been put back on the front burner, albeit very quietly. The first discovery to share with you is that audio subliminal recordings simply don't work. Priming in Persuasion...and Subliminal Influence Priming is a way we can covertly influence, as we've discussed in The Science of Influence CD Library in numerous contexts. Priming is all about activating conscious and unconscious associations with intention. Some quick examples of every day priming:

• Someone says, "Mr. MacDonald was a nice old man," and the listener has a 'thought' to go to McDonalds and get a hamburger.

• Someone asks you what TV show you want to watch tonight. They are playing "Who are You" on the CD player in the background, and they say, CSI. "Who are You" is the theme song for CSI.

• You hear a commercial for The Apprentice, or 24, or the upcoming special about Elvis on TV. You think, "I wonder what Kevin Hogan will write about in Coffee this week."

Why Don't Auditory Sublminals Work?

Why didn't the subliminals work? Simple. The brain couldn't get the message from outside in the world to the inside of the brain, as there was no vibration for the ear and then auditory cortex to work their magic. It was a shame, too, after all the recordings we bought for better grades and self-esteem in college. (or was that just me again?) Like sleeping on a book and praying for the information to be pumped in by osmosis...well you get the picture...

There's still people who produce "subliminal CDs", but I can assure you that the zealotry of the producers of such materials is utterly and totally unwarranted. They don't work and it's been shown in every single scientific study ever done about it.

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What about video?

An entirely different and very enticing story!

The visual cortex WILL respond to stimuli which are not in conscious awareness and which are NOT able to be seen with conscious attention and effort. The visual cortex will take this information that isn't or can't be seen and share it with other parts of the brain CAUSING actions to be taken on the stimulus.

Scary cool.

What Does New Research Show?

Research out this week shows that if you show a picture of Pamela Anderson to someone, there are literally single cells (neurons) in the brain that "know" that is Pamela Anderson. These neurons react to Pamela (and who wouldn't?) in a "knowing way." In other words it's DIFFERENT neurons that react when pictures of The Beatles are shown and different from those of Jennifer Aniston and so on.

Now don't get the idea that "memory" is single cell. L. Ron Hubbard wasn't that on target with "engrams," but one thing is for sure...Pamela Anderson can excite a cell that wasn't turned on by Jennifer or John Lennon.

And that's crucial in understanding subliminal persuasion. (When I first read about this in popular form last week, I was VERY skeptical. The research bares it out though and my skepticism has been quelled.) I'll go into the research about all of this later in the summer, it's beyond "pretty incredible."

The brain acts on external and internal impulses.

And that's where visually stimulated subliminal persuasion begins. Without someone's awareness, you can cause them to want to drink, for example, via subliminal perception. Carefully look at this example. Out-of-lab scenarios should start popping into your mind shortly.

What Does New Research Show?

***1*** People alter their consumption behavior based on subliminal exposure to faces.

In studies led by Piotr Winkielman, associate professor of psychology at the University of California, San Diego, people altered their consumption behaviors after exposure to subliminal facial expressions.

***2*** Subliminal perception of smiles and frowns have profound effects on behavior.

Hidden smiles persuaded thirsty subjects to pour more and drink more of an unidentified beverage than did neutral expressions. Frowns had the opposite effect.

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***3*** Subliminal perception of happy faces cause people to be willing to spend more money...a lot more money.

Study participants who were unconsciously "primed" with happy faces also reported being willing to pay up to triple the price for the mystery drink. And they reported wanting another half cup instead of just a sip or two more.

***4*** The entire process is covert at the emotional level. People have no idea their feelings have CHANGED.

Remarkably, the test subjects, whose actions had been influenced by these emotional cues, were not aware of their feelings having changed.

"This is the first demonstration that you can influence consequential, real-world behavior without affecting conscious feeling. We can change what you do, without changing how you feel," Winkielman said.

Winkielman, coeditor of the forthcoming book Emotion and Consciousness, believes the findings, presented at the American Psychological Society annual convention in Los Angeles, May 26-29, support the existence of unconscious or "unfelt" emotion.

"Emotional states operating outside conscious awareness can drive behavior. The subjective experience of a feeling is not always necessary to the process," said Winkielman.

"Feelings are often slow," he said. "In a frightening situation, you run first, feel afraid later."

To tease apart emotional reaction and subjective feeling, Winkielman and colleagues devised two different experiments.

In both studies, subjects were first asked to rate how thirsty and hungry they were. Next, they were subliminally exposed to a series of photographs of happy, angry or neutral faces -- masked each time by a neutral face. Consciously, the subjects were aware only of seeing the second, neutral image, which they were then asked to classify as male or female. Immediately afterwards, they were asked (in varying order) to interact with the beverage and rate their moods.

Happy and angry expressions were selected as primes, Winkielman said, because it is easy to extract a simple positive and negative interpretation from them: Grins and glowers are flashed at us in approval and reproach since Day 1 and are essentially equivalent to "stop" and "go" signs.

The researchers chose drinking in part because ingesting an unknown substance can have obvious biological consequences and is therefore not a trivial act -- even if, as in this case, the drink is made of nothing more than water, sugar and lemon-lime Kool-Aid.

In the first experiment, 39 undergraduates freely helped themselves and drank as much as they wanted. Unknown to them, the amounts poured and consumed were

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recorded using an electronic scale. Thirsty participants poured and drank more than twice the amount of the beverage after happy primes than after angry primes.

In the second experiment, 29 undergraduates tasted a small, predetermined sample and were then asked to evaluate it after one sip. Those at the high level of thirst reported willingness to pay 38 cents (U.S.) after happy primes and only 10 cents after angry ones. They also expressed desire for an additional half cup instead of one to two sips.

Learn more of the most important findings.

What Are Some of the Most Important Findings?

***5*** It's all about the predisposing factors being acted upon subconsciously...The Subjects Motivation.

In both studies, thirst proved a necessary precondition for influence. Moderately thirsty participants were only moderately affected. And those not thirsty, not at all. Thirst also correlated positively with ratings of the beverage's deliciousness and thirst-quenching abilities.

"Motivation matters," Winkielman said. "Your motivational state -- your level of need -- prepares you to process relevant information and gives value to the stimulus. Otherwise, the emotional message falls on deaf ears."

***6*** Better act fast or it won't matter.

Can Advertisers Benefit From This?

To businesspeople or politicians tempted to apply these findings to advertising, Winkielman says: It won't work. The effects of subliminal expressions were too short-lived. By the time people arrived at the store or polling booth, all influence would have worn off.

The studies were supported by a grant from the National Science Foundation. Results were published earlier this year in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, with coauthors Kent C. Berridge of the University of Michigan and Julia L. Wilbarger of the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

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Your Subliminal Edge

Factors that Cause Successful Subliminal Persuasion

Kevin Hogan

I've found 13 factors in creating effective subliminal messages. There are probably more. In this article I want you to find out some of these factors and discover how you can use them at the office, the club, the bar and with anyone you choose. Part of my mission on this orb has been about giving my friends the edge in life. The edge over the competition, against the scamsters, the edge on achievement of goals and desires. People buy the "Instant__________" because they are greedier than they are smart.

• Instant Billionaire • Instant Influence • Instant Weight Loss • Instant Fame • Instant Pick a Desire

And, there is a *lot* of money to be made in the "quick buck business." I can confirm to you that I was asked to co-venture a promotion where you would spend $10,000 (I would get paid 1/2) and the claim was that you would be able to simply "imagine" and "think" about something and it would manifest. No kidding. And in fact, I am regularly asked to put someone's junk in Coffee for you to look at....and try to kindly refuse. Let someone else do it. I'm having Coffee with you. Now, if I tell you that something which is claimed to be spectacular... is true..., there is a reason to consider the proposition (which is why I was chosen to be a vehicle of the message to you). You've trusted me for 5 or 6 years or however long you've been with me on Monday morning. And you know that if it's in Coffee, it's worth considering. You've been "primed" to know that what we talk about is worthy, trustable and typically falls in the realm of usefulness, value and fun. So, many would consider that $10,000 is worth exchanging for Kevin Hogan telling them that they would get something for nothing, virtually instantly, like unexpected piles of money in the mailbox. (And I am not kidding, that is precisely what this "opportunity" that I let you miss was about.) How and why was this amazing program going to work?

• Because you imagine it.

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• Because it's the nature of the universe. • Because it's understanding the nature of the universe and utilizing that. • Because you did affirmations for it.

And that is total garbage and though I rarely name names, don't ever fall for it. Let me ask you this. Do we all have a greedy side?

We Are All Wired for Greed

Look, we ALL have a greedy side. It's nothing to feel bad about. We are biologically hooked up that way long before birth. We all have our pride, lust, envy, avarice, vanity, and whatever the rest of the fun things were that when you O.D. on them, they become sins.

(Because, in excess they can cause self destruction.) Everyone has these traits. Mother Teresa did. Gandhi did. Everyone.

KEY POINT: We all have desires that drive us beyond rational thinking and decision making.

You can buy a CD that claims it's filled with subliminal messages that will do XYZ for you, and it is garbage. Pure garbage. I always keep my fingers crossed that those selling such things at least believe that they are performing a service...because when I see people burning dollar bills it pains me...because you only have so many and every purchase in life IS AN INVESTMENT.

So, when we are talking about subliminal persuasion, you can know that it is more than "real." It is profoundly and amazingly powerful. Without hesitation, it is that which is most exciting to me in the field of influence and covert hypnosis, and it is that which makes me the most nervous.

The Negative Side of Subliminal Persuasion

The two negatives are simple.

First, you can misuse every form of influence. We saw the results of influence for random killing in London on the tube a couple of weeks ago. Persuasion is powerful. It is VERY easy to cause people to kill complete strangers (and loved ones) for absolutely no reason other than a belief. Someone once said to me, "hypnosis can't be used to make someone do something they normally wouldn't do." Just about ANYONE can cause anyone else to do something they normally wouldn't do. There's nothing unusual about it.

Secondly, I become concerned because when we're talking about subliminal persuasion, 10 people will come out of the woodwork, make a subliminal DVD and put it on the market, make a few thousand bucks and it will do absolutely nothing for the unwitting customer.

There are so many conditions that have to be met for subliminal persuasion to be effective and that probability that the huckster has studied it and tested it approach nil.

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And they will attempt to sell us this DVD which was made based upon what was written here or something I released...but buyer beware...they don't have the whole story....

They are already cropping up...and I mention no names.

I want to share with you today, factors that cause success or failure in Subliminal Persuasion.

Exciting Developments in the Field of Subliminal Persuasion

Now, let me tell you straight away that I think the idea of being at a website and having subliminal cues there is nothing short of exciting. The idea of having subliminal messages on the restaurant table or at the bar simply fascinates. Using subliminals to get the girl to say "yes," or the client to say "yes"....it's all exciting...and you should be able to know how to do it.

If I invest 200-300 hours into subliminal research, I'm going to write four articles about that work....and then I'm going to create a program of perhaps 5-10 CD's and let you own what I know. You could do all the same research at approximately 20-40 times the cost... but you COULD do it. There are no secrets in HOW to discover what works, there are plenty of secrets in knowing what works. My place is to save you the 9,999 attempts at creating a light bulb before finding the one way that works. What would Edison have paid for that? Exactly.

The subliminal pull occurs when several things are already in place.

Factor One: Person Being Persuaded Must Be Motivated

The person to be persuaded needs to be present. (I swear to you there are people that will tell you that you can influence Bill in Tucson with your mind power because of Quantum blah blah....)

KEYPOINT: The person has to have some motivation. (Remember we talked about the "thirst" study where people who were not thirsty were not motivated to drink or buy *anything* when subliminally "persuaded." Only those that were already thirsty reacted to very specific subliminal messages. Almost all sumbliminal messages fail because people don't know how to create them so they are effective.)

A recent study showed that people who knew they were going to be interacting with someone else responded to an ad for a CD that would put them in a good mood. Those people who were not going to be getting together with someone were not motivated in any way by the subliminal messages to purchase the CD.

In other words, the conscious awareness that they were going to be getting together with someone was a prerequisite to buying a CD that would restore their mood.

Understand that. If you don't want to go to church Sunday or have an aversion to going to church or want to watch the football game or whatever, my subliminal messages for you to go to church are going to fail, period.

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Factor Two: Subliminals Wire into Motivation and Desires

KEYPOINT: If the girl is on the fence and your subliminal hits the right button, she'll happily come off the fence. But if she is repelled, all the subliminals in the world won't cause motivation. As a rule: Subliminals WIRE INTO MOTIVATION and DESIRES, OR, they direct the individual to do or think ONE specific thing.

Return to the "interaction study" for a moment. What do you think motivated people to buy the CD when exposed to the advertisement???

• A message that said,..."feel better and buy the cd" • "appear happier to the next person you meet" • "this cd will make you feel good!" • "feel good!" • "feel better!"

See, all those affirmation goofballs will tell you that is the kind of stuff that will work. It doesn't. The people who bought the CD were exposed to a subliminal SAD face! Factor Three: Know the Priming Factor Before Attempting to Influence FASCINATING: Priming SADNESS enhanced the persuasiveness of an ad for a CD with Mood Restoring music when people expected to interact with someone. A neutral stimulus (an oval) showed no change in whether people would buy the CD or not. Now, the only way you come up with these kind of results is by understanding the process of nonconscious "thought," and fortunately, essentially, no one does.

Let's do something simple for using subliminals in a supraliminal environment. (Fancy way of saying the subliminal image is actually visible in consciousness and possibly even observed but not likely to be DEEMED as important in influencing behavior.)

Factor Four: Don't Dilute the Message

If there is too much noise in your office...too many competing messages...then no environmental prime is going to be that big of an influence (if at all) on someone's behavior or decision making.

Imagine you sell car insurance and people come to your office to consider buying. Here are two exaggerated extremes. Which do you think is going to CAUSE more people to purchase car insurance.

Factor Five: Wire into the Non-conscious Mind

A) A photograph of a family, smiling in their car as they drive down the road. Everyone happy and making lots of eye contact, enjoying the ride.

B) A photograph of a car mangled with people standing by the scene crying, tearful, in agony.

The answer is B.

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The horror of B will FAR outsell that of the pain of A. Remember the person is in the office to consider buying insurance. Seeing a happy family is nice. It's pleasant. It's comforting and causes good feelings inside. But the prime of the accident and what that "means" to the nonconscious mind of the fence sitting individual is overwhelming and CAUSES a purchase decision.

Think about homeowner's insurance. Hurricane coverage doesn't come with homeowner's insurance. It's a separate policy. But the way you SELL homeowners insurance is to show the remnants of a hurricane and all the surroundings THEN show the agent giving a check to the family. Nothing sells like that picture because it wires into the drivers and motivators of who we are as people.

Factor Six: Placement Matters

The location of the photo of the car accident with mourners matters as well. If it's on the desk...that's manipulative and you just killed the sale. People do not OVERTLY wish to be manipulated. (The antithesis is an entirely different article.) If it's on the side wall and visible but not standing out when the people walk in, then it does it's job.

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Who Are You? Finding Yourself

Kevin Hogan

Are we really two personalities woven into one person? I confess, it's a funny thing- the personality of the unconscious mind correlates to a person's behavior and the person's conscious mind correlate to a person's behavior...but the conscious mind and unconscious mind of that person don't correlate to each other! People typically look to make sense of themselves and the world around them. Because we all do and say things that truly surprise us, we must construct (fabricate) a narrative (story) that makes sense of those behaviors that conflict with our intentions. The rationales and explanations help us put the incongruency behind us and move on to other things. What makes understanding our selves and others even more difficult is the painfully distorted memories we all carry in the three pound universe. The brain simply isn't a video tape recorder that records events. The brain is a vast array of storehouses and interpreting functions that constantly store, re-store, interpret and reinterpret our memories and beliefs. False memories are so common that almost every conversation of any length includes reference to at least one memory that never happened. Recognizing these two defective elements of the human experience (our suspect memory and the dual nature of our personality), one can understand the arguments, the fights, arguments and butting of heads that take place in relationships and communication in general between people who have lived through the same events and remembered and interpreted them so differently. 5 Parts of the Unconscious Mind There appear to be five specific parts of the unconscious mind that establish the rules for our behavior

• how people construct themselves and others • expectations about themselves and the social world • goals and values • emotions • competencies and self regulatory plans

What's interesting is that people do not have access to these elements of our unconscious experience, therefore we may be poor at "knowing who our unconscious mind is...and how it will cause us to behave in a given situation." Recent research does show that there is some predictability in how we will respond to other people. If for example a person is fond of their sister, they will tend to be fond of people who exhibit similar behaviors as their sister.

So, how do you actually come to know your "self?"

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Pay attention to your behavior in any given situation and you learn "who you are." And of course, even that is suspect because we don't see ourselves anywhere as clearly as we see others. Research reveals that we are better judges of others future behavior than we are our own. We tend to see ourselves in a much better light than we see others and that light creates a halo effect that most of us believe about ourselves. We tend to see others more accurately.

Real estate agents observe the lack of sense of self knowledge in others every day. They listen while their clients describe the exact house they want and then show them several houses which their clients love and one which they eventually buy that has little in common with what the individual detailed just hours or days before!

And when we do see ourselves behave in some fashion, we often have no idea why we did what we did.

Danger and Arousal

A research project had women approach men on a somewhat dangerous footbridge and start a conversation. The same women later approached men seated on a bench away from the footbridge. 65% of the men who were approached on the footbridge asked for a date. 30% of those on the bench asked for a date. Arousal was attributed incorrectly to the woman on the bridge instead of the actual anxiety provoking feelings that the person felt on the bridge.

Unfortunately we don't have the ability to access the reasons we do these kinds of things and observation only helps to some degree. Our need to find a reason for behavior, any reason, helps us make sense of our world and make us happy, even if it isn't accurate.

And, what about those faced with difficult decisions in life? Beginning or ending a relationship? Buying a business or not?

To Ponder or Not to Ponder

The research is compelling. After initially analyzing the problem once, the individual stands a far better opportunity of having made a good determination than the other individual who ponders for days, weeks, or months.

This is true even when people write out their reasons for their decisions on paper or on computer. In comparison studies, individuals seem to make better decisions when gathering enough information, thinking about it then deciding vs. writing all the reasons for and against an idea. (Ben Franklin is rolling over in his grave...and I'm sure I will too!)

So, with this rather bleak picture of how poorly we make decisions and how poorly we know each other, what is the answer?!

What is the Answer?

It appears that going out into the future, and speculating on what events and experiences might take place is the best option for creating the changes necessary

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when conflicted. To be sure, we can't accurately predict how we will feel in the future. This has been shown in volumes of studies. However, we can gain foresight by specifically seeing ourselves in future situations and determine what course(s) of action will ensure the success of those determined course(s).

For years it was thought that journaling was a grand way to determine insight and learn about ourselves. And this is true as long as we do not journal after particularly negative or traumatic experiences which will later taint the story of our life into being something it was/is not.

Instead, it's best to journal on a consistent basis and describe events and experiences with the realization that negative emotions happen daily in everyone and that in itself is not necessarily a bad thing as long as action is taken on those states to improve the quality of life each and every day.

Numerous studies have shown that people who think about the negative emotions that have been recorded actually end up far worse than had they not reviewed the emotions of the past. Such is the nature of writing history then re-writing it without the benefit of all the other experiences that occured that day/week/month/year. Result: These people tend to predict a more negative future for themselves than those who do not ruminate.

Timothy Wilson, Ph.D., says it this way: "Unhappiness and ruminating about your unhappiness is a bad combination that leads to more depression."

In the final analysis, the road to changing the self is about creating behavioral change first which will almost always lead to attitudinal change and thus change feelings from sadness and depression to feelings of contentment and perhaps even happiness.

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Turning Persuasion Strategies into Selling Skills

Kevin Hogan

How do you take all of these techniques and strategies of persuasion that you learn in Coffee with Kevin Hogan every week, and apply them to selling a specific product or service? I'm going to give you a template (and there are a few that can be very effective...this is one such template) for interacting with roughly half of all of your clients. It is called the "Zero Choice-- Do What I Tell You To" process. (All completed in a very kind, loving and gentle manner!) Every day, new research comes in that helps us refine our understanding of how the human brain and mind work. In the last 15 years, more has been learned about memory, learning and decision making than in the prior 2,000,000 years we have walked on the planet. Today the data comes in on reams of paper instead of the little trickles that were dripping when I wrote The Psychology of Persuasion. In fact, since that book was written, we have a completely new understanding of brain, mind, thinking, the nonconscious mind, nonverbal communication, learning, decision making, marketing and selling. That means that armed with "the right stuff", you can get people to commit, say "yes", approve your proposal, buy your products and services with far more ease than ever was the case. Over the past three years (in particular, and since we began back in 1996) I've shared with you what I have found to be the most crucial pieces of the mind-change puzzle. Here's an important one that I touched on last week. Fewer Choices = More Sales You've seen me share with you this same concept over and over in study after study. People like to SAMPLE variety but they will BUY from few choices. Now just STOP and think about this ONE simple concept and how it relates to you...

Imagine you sell financial "products." (They aren't products any more than they are services...as if those are the only two things that can be sold...really more of investment coaches, advisors and growers of money!)

You can sell me (persuade me) on the idea of having me invest in:

Universal Life Whole Life Term Life Annuity Variable Annuity

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Growth Stock Funds Value Funds Balanced Funds Asset Allocation Funds Long Term Bond Funds Short Term Bond Funds Municipal Bond Funds Small Cap Funds Large Cap Funds Global Growth Funds International Funds Gold and Precious Metal Funds Precious Metals

Well...you get the idea. And I've just scratched the surface right?

If you show me your portfolio of all these cool options, you are out of luck.

You have given me TMI (too much information). Your chances of being the cause of my investing with you, your company or in the funds you recommend are remote. Less than one in 10... and that was with a qualified appointment. (Qualified = I have the money, I said yes to the appointment, I want to invest my money...)

What is the RIGHT thing to do?

Remember the "jam study" where people could stop at one of two tables in the retail store?

7 times as many people stopped at the table with the dozens of jellies. 10 times as many people BOUGHT from the table with SIX.

Try this approach and tailor it to the prospect after learning their specific needs...WANTS and DESIRES...

The right thing to do is open the newspaper (NOT a financial newspaper...the LOCAL newspaper that I READ!). Show me the pages that have the lists of the 7000 choices that I have for investing...and that's just in the mutual fund arena. (This approach will vary from prospect to prospect.)

OH...Do NOT be stupid and give your client a complicated test to determine his risk tolerance. Ask a few questions. Make a call. You are an EXPERT not a test proctor for heaven's sake.

"Kevin to look at all of these funds and predict which will actually make you the most money (you MUST say MOST money because humans filter by PRIMACY and if you say "might make you money," you have lost the sale immediately) in the next five years is something that I get paid to do.

"You can imagine (slide right into the unconscious mind with imagine....) that there is a lot of money being made out there and I confess I follow the men and women

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that are making the money. I watch the people at Wasatch Funds and look at the incredible amount of money they generate over the years and it gives me chills. The same is true for all the others that I follow.

"There are 7000 funds where you can put your money and virtually all of them will make you SOME money. Less than 2% will make you rich. Here are five funds that I like for someone who is 50 years old with two kids just about ready to go to college...(or whatever the parameters are.)

"I like the Blah Blah Fund because it consistently returns a lot of money. When the market got killed several years ago (a LONGGGGG time ago) the Blah Blah Fund was steady. It was one of the boats that stayed afloat when many others were sinking. And when things are good like they've been the last couple of years? They manufacture money like the government presses do.

"Why? They are simply smarter than everyone else out there. I suggest you put 20% of your money there. Let it sit there and if history is any indicator, you would have X times the amount of money in 15 years that you do today. In other words Y dollars. But that only solves the LONG TERM CHALLENGES.

"You need to have money that is earning you money...and right now you don't. Your bank account is paying you no interest and might be charging you a fee. The Ya Ya Municipal Bond Fund gives you a checking account, a return of about 4% per year and best of all it's free from most taxes unlike interest that is earned in a bank account...if they were paying you interest. I suggest you keep HALF (people can relate to HALF) of your money in there for the balance of the year...and maybe next year. (They probably know NOTHING about investing...risk...return...nothing. Don't let them get spooked that you are going to GIVE more than HALF of their money away to a nasty FUND that doesn't have a checking account attached to it. Remember, they are familiar with a checking account. There is a psychology that says that if there is a checking account the money is immediately accessible. It's the same with almost all funds, but they don't FEEL that way.)

"Now the remaining 30% of your money is for your midterm needs. That's about 2-10 years out there. You want your money to be secure, stable and making you money. The Elf Elf Value Fund is precisely that kind of fund. It's been around for 120 years and has returned about 10% per year forever. That means your money doubles every 7 years instead of what happens in your bank account where it doubles about every 120 years. The best thing about Funds like Elf Elf is that it's like they go to work in the morning for you and give you a nice paycheck at the end of the week. You even make money while you sleep because some of this money is invested into the Wal Marts and Coca Colas in France and Germany... and that is a good thing. Making money while you sleep helps you sleep better! (46% of all Americans have insomnia....)

"That's it. We can get fancy next year. I don't want to get fancy now. There is no need to. These three funds (they can BUY this few options) should take care of everything for quite some time. If I find something that is even better, I will call you and let you know. For today, I'd like to see you do this, and get your checking accounts immediately switched over to the checking accounts with the Blah Blah Fund. It works EXACTLY the same way your checking account does...well...almost...remember IT is paying you money to have your money there.

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"So, write a check to the Gergenschmit Group for $20,000 and in the morning the computer will move your money into the three funds and I will have your new check book for you by the end of the week. Do you have any questions?"

Answer their questions.

Help them feel SECURE.

They are TERRIFIED.

They see you as taking their money and putting it somewhere (like above the refrigerator or hiding it somewhere mysterious) they can't get to. They aren't secure. They don't feel comfortable.

By limiting their choices (or giving them only one with specific INSTRUCTIONS)...and making their money accessible to them you are helping them feel safe.

They need to feel safe. They must feel safe AND certain that this is SMART.