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THE 2015 VEET SPAWAX EMPOWERMENT REPORT

with Debbie Spellman

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INTRODUCTION

Hasn’t this year flown by? Yes, we think so too. Time certainly flies when you’re having fun, or you’re just really, really busy. In this day and age we seem to be constantly engaged, contacted or distracted via modern technology, work commitments, and/or family and friends, leaving little time left in the week for YOU.

That’s why beauty brand Veet has partnered with one of Australia’s leading experts in female empowerment, life coach Debbie Spellman, to develop the Veet Spawax Empowerment Report.

Following a recent survey of 151 women across Australia, the Veet Spawax Empowerment Report is filled with the latest insights and expert advice on what makes women tick. With counsel from Debbie, the Veet Spawax Empowerment Report aims to encourage women to invest in some M.E TIME – M.E standing for Mindful Empowerment – to help them feel and look their best selves this Summer – from the inside out.

With a focus on promoting wellbeing, the Report release coincides with the launch of Veet SpaWax: an innovative new beauty kit that helps women take the hassle out of hair removal and make it a pleasurable pampering spa experience at home – that they can do in their own time.

“There are simple tactics you can do as part of your daily routine that can leave you feeling more empowered – be it practice positive self-talk to mindfully taking time out to pamper yourself without distraction. Whatever the task or tactic, it’s evident from the latest survey results that women need to do more.” Debbie Spellman

ABOUT DEBBIE SPELLMAN

Debbie is a Mind Detox Therapist, Life Coach, Writer and Speaker who is on a mission to redefine how women see themselves. Her commitment lies in equipping and empowering women to release their self-defeating inner voice to embrace who they are and create a life that matters. She does this through her luxury women’s retreats, online programs, events and speaking.

Her message reaches women in over 63 countries via her online TV show ‘Detox Your Mind TV’. A regular columnist in Women’s Fitness Magazine as their ‘Think Fit’ expert she has also been featured in Women’s Day, Cosmopolitan, Australian Natural Health Magazine, Marie Claire and Lorna Jane’s, Move Nourish Believe movement and is the Mind Detox Expert for Sarah Wilson’s global ‘I Quit Sugar’ program.

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WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT REPORT

In 2015, 151 women from across Australia were surveyed on the subject of empowerment. The key findings included:

More than 1 in 4 women (27%) allow other people’s opinions of them influence how good they feel about themselves.

Around 1 in 4 women cited being confident in their own skin, with only 62% ‘sometimes’ feeling confident.

More than a third of women (37%) admit to beating themselves up internally a few times a day, with only 6% citing they ‘hardly ever’ beat themselves internally. Nearly 10% (9.93%) of women said they beat themselves up ‘most of the day’, really struggling with negative thoughts about themselves.

Over half of the women (61%) surveyed cited that negative things do affect them regularly, only feeling ‘sometimes strong’ in mindset to handle whatever life throws their way. Around a third (32%) said that can let things go very easily.

Only 1 in 4 women accepted their body and appearance…

…Though a significant 83% wish they were kinder towards themselves, recognising that their own worst enemy sometimes. Demonstrating that women need to do more for themselves, only 17% cited they were kind towards themselves regularly.

Over half of the women surveyed (52%) don’t consciously take time out each to have a regular self-care routine at home (i.e. apply a hair or face mask, wax etc), despite Debbie highlighting this is key to feeling a sense of positivity and empowerment.

More than 1 in 3 (39%) do not make self care, such as beauty and exercise a priority putting work and other priorities first.

To help them feel empowered, women turn to themselves most (27.33%), followed by family (26.67%), and then their partner (24%). Not surprisingly they feel that they are also their biggest barrier to feeling empowered (3 out of 4 women agreed on this).

Overcoming fears makes women feel empowered.

The research highlighted that what makes a woman sexy the most is a woman who is comfortable in her own skin (83%).

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Cate Blanchett, followed by Carrie Bickmore and Lisa Wilkinson are seen as the most inspiring role models when it comes to empowering others, beating Julie Bishop, Jacinta Campbell and Delta Goodrum.

These findings highlight the need for women to take a more mindful approach to empowerment: investing in ME Time, as in Mindful Empowerment.

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FOUNDATION OF EMPOWERMENT

A NOTE FROM DEBBIE SPELLMAN

The most common theme I have witnessed in working with hundreds of women is just how disempowered they feel on a daily basis. The battle within their own minds combined with the pressures and stress of their busy lives leaves them feeling anxious and depleted.

Through my client questionnaires women have divulged just how often they struggle with negative self-talk and emotions with many experiencing daily anxiety. In addition rarely do they make their own wellbeing a priority often giving to work and others before themselves. The Foundation Of Empowerment provides simple daily practices which when implemented will enable women to feel more empowered in their mindset and life.

INTRODUCING THE 4 PILLARS

There are four pillars that make up the Foundation Of Empowerment.

The internal pillars relate to a woman’s mindset providing her with tools to gain control of her thoughts and emotions as well as helping her show more kindness towards herself, strengthening her self-belief and self-worth. The external pillars equip her with practical strategies to set healthy boundaries, manage her time and embrace self-care therefore allowing her to feel more in control of her life.

Each pillar contains questions, tips and guidance to help women implement the strategies into their lives so they can feel more empowered, inside and out.

Internal:

Conquer Your Inner VoiceKnow Your Worth

External

Make Yourself A PriorityEmbrace Self-Care

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PILLAR 1: Conquer Your Inner Voice

The way a woman thinks including what she believes about herself and her abilities determines her actions and therefore the results she creates in her own life. Our research shows 83% of women admit to being their own worst enemy. So how can women begin to change their thinking to embody a more empowered mindset?

The first step is awareness. Women can find it confronting as they become very aware of their self-talk and how their current mindset negatively impacts how they feel and behave. Yet in doing so they are inspired to think differently. Taking responsibility for their mindset through empowered thinking enables a woman to control the inner voice creating positive change within herself and her life.

1. Awareness:

The first step in conquering the negative voice inside of our head is to become very aware of how we naturally think.

I recommend doing a 1 Day Mind Detox which involves writing down every negative thought from the moment the eyes open until bedtime. Yes, it takes a little time but it’s well worth the effort.

In doing this many women notice just how negative they are towards themselves and others. They also notice how much their minds jump from the past to the future, regret to worry, ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s’, doubt and self-criticism and a whole lot of judgment.... WOW, all of this in one day! It’s no wonder many women are feeling exhausted, moody and stressed!

After this first step comes a choice and that is to make a decision to no longer think this way.

This decision is a powerful way to draw a line in the sand by saying to themselves, ‘this is not serving me anymore’.

2. Empowered Thinking:

Women can influence how they feel about their current life experience by choosing to think differently.Once they have become aware of just how much negativity fills their mind on a daily basis the solution is to shift into empowered thinking.

Developing the right mindset by consciously thinking and behaving ‘differently’ to how they have in the past is the key to reprogramming these unhealthy thoughts.

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Unfortunately many women remain stuck in disempowered thinking such as:

Victim mentality (blame, complaining, gossip, ‘hard done by’ mentality and helplessness)

Being paralysed by self-defeating thoughts such as “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough” and “I will never...”

Focusing on all the negatives in their lives such as what they don’t have or can’t do

Holding onto past failures, hurts and mistakes and allowing these to influence their current self-belief

Unable to move towards what they want because they are stuck in all of the excuses and reasons as to why they can’t.

Women who take full responsibility for how they choose to think can shift into an empowered frame of mind where they:

Become pro-active and solution driven. Rather than succumb to the limitations placed upon them by their negative inner voice they choose to overcome any obstacles or problems efficiently and effectively

Develop resourcefulness by asking themselves ‘How can I achieve/get/create X, Y or Z’ and following through with action

Know what they want and create a clear vision for their future

Are focused on creating ‘results’ in their lives and letting go of the past and their excuses

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PILLAR 2: Know Your Worth

Women have shared they regularly determine their own worth and value based on whether or not they are liked, accepted, validated or praised. Seeking their sense of self-worth through external factors such as how they look, their job title, social status or other people’s opinions sets them up for disappointment. Why? Because when they fail to receive the validation they need they believe there is something wrong with them.

Looking to others to validate our own worthiness results in a rollercoaster of negative emotions and self-depreciating thoughts. True self-worth is found from within and it begins with practicing self-kindness and understanding who we are and what we want.

1. Be kind to yourself

Imagine if we spoke to our friends the way we talk to ourselves...we wouldn’t be friends! Many women have unknowingly created a damaging relationship with themselves via the thoughts they think. Rebuilding this relationship begins with changing the way they talk to themselves.

Instead of beating ourselves up it’s imperative we choose instead to be kind, encouraging and forgiving. Nobody is perfect nor is life about portraying an image of perfection. Being a woman of integrity and honesty and developing a strong character is far more important than attempting to live up to our own (and others’) expectations.

Practice self-kindness by:

Forgiving yourself when you make a mistake and apologise where necessary. Humility breeds courage.

Work on your strengths and accept your weaknesses (you are not superwoman!).

Instead of saying ‘I can’t do that’, encourage yourself like you would a close friend and give it a try. Become your own coach and cheerleader.

2. Develop worth from within

Much of the regret we feel in life can be due to doing that which was against who we are and what we believe.

Unfortunately many women don’t know who they are and so they change according to what others want. Developing worth from within and strengthening your self-image means never allowing anyone or anything to compromise who you are.

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Discovering who you are and what you want begins with:

Identifying your virtues That is understanding who you are as a woman and/or the woman you desire to be. Virtues are character traits such as kindness, integrity and honesty.

Uncovering your values Values are that which are most important to us such as family, ambition or travel. Aligning your lifestyle with your highest values equals immense fulfilment.

Creating a clear vision Without vision many women feel helpless and hopeless about their life situation. Crafting a clear vision and moving towards this each day gives you a sense of inspired purpose.

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EXTERNAL

PILLAR 3: Make Yourself A Priority

Many women feel like they are always giving of themselves yet not feeling appreciated in return. More so if they struggle with low self-esteem as they tend to seek validation from others and therefore allow people to take advantage of them.

Whether in the workplace or with family and friends this behaviour can leave a woman feeling stressed, overwhelmed and depleted. Setting boundaries and realigning their weekly schedule according to what is most important empowers women to take control of their lives.

1. Set healthy boundaries that will allow you to prioritise yourself more.

Setting healthy boundaries is key to protecting our most valuable assets; time and energy.

Important questions to ask in order to set healthy boundaries:

Relationships: where do I need to speak up and honour my own value?

Workplace: what changes do I need to make in the workplace to communicate my value?

Friendships: where do I need to set boundaries with negative and toxic friends?

Learn to say ‘No’: where do I need to say ‘no’ more often?

2. Co-ordinate your weekly schedule around your highest priorities

Managing time ineffectively and feeling overwhelmed is a common complaint I hear from women.

Many women say ‘yes’ to staying back at work, attending social engagements and giving of themselves to others only then fitting in their own priorities with what time is left.

I recommend women identify their priorities by numbering what is most important from highest to lowest from this list:

Family

Social/Friends

Career/Work

Financial

Spirituality

Health and Self-Care

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If a woman holds health as her number one priority yet spends most of her week stuck at work missing her gym appointments and having no energy to enjoy her down-time she will feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled.

Re-prioritising our calendars to spend the most amount of time on the things that are important to us and the least amount of time on what isn’t will not only eliminate overwhelm and stress it empowers us to live a life that matters.

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PILLAR 4: Embrace Self-Care

As women we can fail to put our own needs first. If women don’t value themselves enough to make self-care a priority it can leave them feeling burnt out. We only have so much energy and if we keep going without replenishing something has to give.

Committing to a regular self-care practice and carving out time in our schedule just for ourselves shows we value our own health and wellbeing.

1. Identify the barriers preventing self-care and implement self- care practices regularly

In the latest research 39% of women admitted they did not have a self-care routine and put work and other priorities before their own.

In order to determine why this is I recommend asking these key questions:

1. What beliefs and excuses are preventing you from making self-care a priority? (such as “I don’t have time”, “Work is too busy” or “I don’t have the money”)

2. How would life be different if you didn’t have those beliefs and excuses?

3. What changes could you make to put self-care first?

4. Create a list of self-care practices to incorporate regularly into your lifestyle

Suggested self-care practices:

Buy yourself flowers...just because.

Create a regular beauty routine at home i.e. every Sunday morning, dedicate 1 hour to self-pampering be it doing your nails, hair removal, face masks

Drink 8 glasses of water per day

Commit to eating healthy and nourishing food

Move your body every day

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2. Create a Morning & Evening routine and incorporate beauty/ pampering time.

In speaking with hundreds of women as a coach the most common response I receive when I ask a woman ‘What does your morning look like?’ is usually something along the lines of:

I press snooze far too many times.

I check social media and email before I get out of bed.

I rush around getting ready.

I eat breakfast at work or sometimes I just have a coffee and don’t eat at all.

You can imagine how this sets up their mindset for the day.

Creating a morning routine creates space in the beginning of the day just for us. In our busy society carving out this time for ourselves will ensure we begin the day with a sharp mind and an energised body.

Suggested elements of a morning routine:

Wake up earlier to do exercise (walk, jog, yoga)

Enjoy breakfast at home. A green smoothie is ideal for giving energy to the body and clarity to the mind.

Delay checking email and social media until on the way to work or even better wait until you get to work.

Refocus on your goals and set a positive intention for the day.

Similarly winding down with an evening routine relaxes and calms the mind and body.

Many women admit to collapsing in front of the TV or spending hours on the internet when they arrive home just to ‘zone out’ from their busy day. After creating a morning routine and implementing no TV nights as well as limiting internet use 100% of my clients reported feeling less stressed, more productive and recognised just how much time they actually have in their day to focus on themselves.

Suggested elements of an evening routine:

Cook a healthy dinner and enjoy without digital distractions

Switch off the phone (and TV) at 7pm and do a mindful activity such as reading a book, journaling, meditation or self-care practices

Create a nurturing self-care routine (such as running a bath, putting on a face mask, waxing, doing your nails or investing in beautiful cleansing products that make you feel pampered)

Focus on your goals and take steps to achieve them.

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“It is within every woman’s reach to feel more confident in her own skin. Embracing Mindful Empowerment means taking responsibility for our

mindset and lifestyle and recognising we don’t need to wait for anyone or

anything to make us feel more beautiful or empowered. Each of us has the

power within to feel and look our best.”

Debbie Spellman