The 2012 Year-End Awards

Another year has concluded and it’s time to discharge some thoughts, some off-side observations and of course assign our Annual Awards with some humor, a smile and a Mason- Jar full of fine Kentucky bourbon.

SURVIVOR OF THE YEAR AWARD: This award has been discontinued for 2012 since it appears that our CEO has another new bullet-proof Mercedes and would survive any attack verbal or otherwise from any quarter. However - readers will be interested to know that he remains the only CEO within the Sport Canada framework that doesn’t drive a Smart Car…for obvious reasons!

“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.” Rodney Dangerfield

BOARD MEMBER OF THE YEAR AWARD: The fish lodge owner wins this year – despite the “malfunctions” during his long reign at the helm of RC he remained faithful to the cause and gave away more fishing trips in the name of the game than they serve up Big Mac’s in Brandon, Manitoba! For that he has to get a passing grade at least.

QUOTE OF THE YEAR AWARD: Made by the outgoing Communications & Marketing man when he emailed the membership saying… “I believe I am an expert leader in relationship building, sponsorship sales and business development, marketing and promotions, and communications and media relations…”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” Oscar Wilde

Follow-up: This U-Tube video was sent to us immediately after the news broke that our communications guy was departing the RC barn… www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLBKOcUbHR0

RUGBY MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD: This year the award goes to the BCRU’s CEO Jeff Sauve who along with the President John Lecky stood financially firm against the CRC minor league extravagance, who endorsed the BC Elite Sevens Program, spent money developing younger age-grade platforms and who never pushed the panic button when things got hot ‘n heated out there on the western frontier. Well done boys!

RUNNER-UP RUGBY MAN OF THE YEAR: Victoria’ super lawyer George Jones wins – he never looked past what was happening on the field and supported it accordingly. Straight talk, straight vision and straight results – well done Mr. Jones!

RUGBY WOMAN OF THE YEAR AWARD: Honestly this one is impossible to assign as there have been so many women working from the past to the present and keeping Canada’s dream alive on the rugby pitch. Roxanne Butler comes to mind and will get the nod this year - but from St. John’s to Victoria there are so many other super heroes keeping their foot firmly on the floor-boards on behalf of the women’s game. Butler wins.

“Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.”

FOUNDATION AWARD: This goes to the dynamite duo of Mike Holmes and Mark Wyatt for holding firm on the intention of their Foundation, never being swayed by the demanding red coats in Richmond Hill and for supporting grassroots rugby and rugby players on the field. Well done chaps!

MEDICAL PERSON (S) OF THE YEAR: Dr. Paul Watson and the hard working Carla Brash win this year. Dr. Paul - for his years of excellent service to our players and to Carla for surviving the recent sevens trip into the UAR and Port Elizabeth – from all accounts she got no sleep because of treatment demands and still had a smile when it was all done! Honourable mention from years past include: Stefan Fletcher, Mike Yates, Bill Treloar and Vince Avery – thanks guys!

RETURN OF THE JEDI AWARD: The Manager of the National Men’s Team has tried to look busy out at the new COE facility in Langford but carrying a clip board in one hand and a ‘double-double’ in the other hand while waiting for the next interview or TV appearance makes it hard to execute any job description properly. This guy gets more press about his own so-called legendary status than the present players do so something is moving. Just what that is remains a debate. In fact - one of the ‘conference-room crowd’ was heard to say in early September, “Didn’t we fire him already?”

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. Rodney Dangerfield

REFEREE OF THE YEAR AWARD: The retirement of Joyce Henry from refereeing is a blow to rugby in Canada and across the globe. Joyce wins with ease. Thanks Joyce!

Away from the pitch this woman has a pretty unique resume: Joyce is the Director of Appointments for the Privy Council Office. In this role she supports the Prime Minister and Cabinet in the selection and recruitment of public sector leaders. Previously, Joyce worked in the machinery of government and social policy sectors of the Privy Council Office and in policy and issues management at Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada and the Canadian Food Inspection Agency. Joyce has a Bachelor of Journalism degree from Carleton University. She enjoys sport and reading. An international level rugby referee, Joyce has refereed numerous women’s international matches, including at three World Cups. Most recently she refereed Ireland v Italy as part of the 2012 Women’s Six Nations Tournament.

MOVEMBER AWARD: Ryan Hamilton wins going away – the former University of Victoria hooker and national team player has more overnight growth than the entire NSMT put together after a month of effort. Ryan started his challenge on November 01 with just a heavy shadow and by the morning of November 02 had left the rest of the want-to-be chaps far behind in his dust. If Clint Eastwood ever does another spaghetti-western then Ryan’s whole life could change!

Before After “AND… the Morning After”

RUNNER-UP MOVEMBER AWARD: This year we are going to reward attempts only in the Runner-Up category and assign the Award to the guy(s) who started in September and went into December with nothing more than some single strands that looked more like a puberty onset down below! Sean Duke left for Dubai with slim pickings below his nose and returned for his UVIC exams in December with something a J-Cloth could have rubbed off with one swipe – hopefully Sean’s exams go better than this D-grade assignment on the face!

Runner-up winner is Sean Duke.

TUNE-UP OF THE YEAR AWARD: Jeb Sinclair win this year after his Western Province punch in a southern hemisphere game – “Mr. Price” (aka Jean Deysel) went down faster than Manny Pacquiao did against Juan Manuel Marquez at Las Vegas in December - Jeb was subsequently invited to the “Huddy-Huddy Fight Night” following that smack-down but he’ll need more than one punch to win at that famous venue! Plus with his VISA issues he may not make it home for Christmas, New Years…or HH Night!

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. Muhammad Ali

THE TIGER WOODS AWARD: Last year’s champ Edward Fairhurst put away his clubs this year and his former team-mate Ryan Smith from cow-town has been declared ineligible because of score-card discrepancies during a playoff hole with a former RC manager - so this year we have declared that the former University of Victoria Vikes captain and present med student Dave Spicer has won the award – he was ten over par recently at an unnamed Calgary golf course during a blizzard but then he was ten under par with his bedside manner after a selective patient survey during his medical studies at the Foothills Hospital in NW Calgary.

Nice pants Dave…

“If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.” Muhammad Ali

REFEREE SELF-EVALUATION AWARD: This one goes to the VIRRS boys who are always looking at creative ways to improve their performance…it’s either that or this guy just got off his underground shift at the new coal mine in Campbell River, BC. Yes folks - that’s a video camera on his forehead. Truly unique and simply unbelievable!

Try these instead?

PHOTOGRAPHER(S) OF THE YEAR AWARD: Victoria’s Sharon Tiffin, Judy Teasdale and Hugh Jervis share this one AGAIN…simply sensational folks!

REPORTER OF THE YEAR AWARD: At the conclusion of the ARC tournament in Langford this past October a Liaison Officer from the CW club submitted a report to the national union about ways to improve our commitment and our hosting efforts for visiting teams. That LO wins this year’s Reporter Award – however the national union’s CEO was not impressed with the report and issued a curt reply (see below) which basically ‘sacked’ the LO’s efforts in the groin.

“Thanks, will review with staff. I do not foresee any formal feedback in terms of a written reply – but will be arranging a follow-up meeting with the key persons for January (invites to this meeting will take place closer to the date of the meeting – as it will coincide with my travel plans for Victoria in January).”

PHOTO OF THE YEAR AWARD:

Phil Mack in full flight…

RUNNER-UP PHOTO(S) OF THE YEAR AWARD

Mentorship in full flight… Full flight in (or from) Lindsay, Ontario…?

SPONSOR OF THE YEAR AWARD: The businessman (and his associates) who continues to sponsor the Elite BC Rugby Youth Sevens Program which is producing young elite players faster than anything our national union has accomplished to date. Now we need a similar program in Ontario.

BLUNDER OF THE YEAR AWARD: The preparation of the U20 Team that took off to the USA this past summer and bombed out….heads should have rolled after that tournament encounter – instead we had another ‘sideways assignment.’

"You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do." Henry Ford

TYPO OF THE YEAR AWARD: If you have ever wondered why some of our Alumni get their collective blood boiling at the national union website here’s a good example – heading to Bermuda this year the RC site exposed their hand and it wasn’t in Texas HoldEm! (see below)

The Canadian team is equally star-studded with players who became household names while wearing the Maple Leaf. Headed up by former captains Morgan Williams and Kyle Nichols, the 24–man squad will also feature legends such as 62-cap prop Rod Snow and decorated full-back John Graff. (it is certain that John was one of our best scrum-half ever)The squad boasts a combined 442 international senior caps, plus Sevens experience from Cowichan Piggies' Dan Harlow. (Pretty sure Dan last played for JBAA)

RUGBY CANADA TEAM FOR WORLD RUGBY CLASSIC (CAPS) Forwards: Garth Cooke (25), Rod Snow (62), Frank Walsh (4), Kevin Wirachowski (19), Adam Marshall (2), Scott Hendry(5), Mike Burak (29), Adam van Stavaren (20), Ryan Banks (36), Christophe Strubin (2), Aaron Mittler, Scott Franklin (12), Dave Knowles (that’s van STAVEREN chaps and CHRISTOPH…no “E” in his name) Backs: Glen Miller (10), Morgan Williams (58), Jeff Williams (5), Maco DiGirolamo (25), Hadyn Gage, Kyle Nichols (27), Ollie Atkinson (1), Joe Haley (1), Dan Harlow (Canada Sevens), John Graff (54), Julien Loveday (25) (That’s MARCO and OLLIE is most certainly a forward – even in Bermuda)

WORST DECISION OF THE YEAR AWARD: The funding of a west-coast team by the national union to play in the CRC competition. In the past - a provincial competition got our blood boiling and brought out the best in our competitive nature – back to the future boys!

RUNNER-UP WORST DECISION OF THE YEAR AWARD: The continued sideways movement of staff at the COE Langford motel when major screw ups occur…come on people let’s work on the field and not move furniture around in the ‘motel’ conference room!

THE DA VINCI CODE AWARD: With all the daily 7:00AM to Noon practices out at the COE motel one has to ask – what happens after lunch out there?

SONG OF THE YEAR AWARD: A diversion here…Faith Hill wins for her Sunday Night Football theme song – electric and smoking hot!

BONEHEAD OF THE YEAR AWARD: The interference by the NSMT manager in the AAP (carding) process by telling certain student athletes to drop their university courses and take the course next year so they could attend morning practices at the COE Langford facility every day.

“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.” Rodney Dangerfield

BEST IDEA OF THE YEAR AWARD: Recognizing super lawyer and rugby man George Jones for all his work on behalf of the game on the field. George has been forced onto the ‘Banquet Circuit’ this past year with all the accolades coming his way!

WORST IDEA OF THE YEAR AWARD: After a sound BCRU decision to ignore the CRC competition (for financial reasons) our national union came along and conscripted a group of players and tagged-them-Tyees to represent British Columbia – it wasn’t a pathway for those selected - it was an insult to the BC elite players who just wanted a rest after the CDI Premier season on the west coast.

RUNNER-UP FOR THE WORST IDEA OF THE YEAR: Some fool suggested that we trade our CEO for the NHL’s Gary Bettman…seriously? Maybe a better idea is to send both men to co-manage the Best Western Hotel on the BC-Alberta border now that the Long-Gun Registry is on the shelf! That way both guys could model similar leadership qualities and dodge real bullets when they screwed up…

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. Frank Zappa

BEST COMEBACK OF THE YEAR AWARD: After invasive knee surgery and missing a season on the iRB Sevens circuit Phil Mack wins this year after he returned to international rugby. Now Phil wants that Movember Award too!

BEST CLUB TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD (Men): Capilano RFC and Oakville Crusaders RFC

BEST CLUB TEAM OF THE YEAR AWARD (Women): Aurora Barbarians and Velox Valkyries

BEST UNIVERSITY TEAM OF THE YEAR (Women): Saint FX wins with a shutout over last year’s winner Guelph.

CIS PLAYER OF THE YEAR (WOMEN): Our choice this year is Tyson Beukeboom from St FX – word is that her cousin who is residing in Plymouth presently learned all his moves from Tyson. Come home Bret - your cuz has more moves to show you following this year’s CIS Tournament!

RUNNER-UP CIS PLAYER OF THE YEAR (WOMEN): We go a tad against the run of play with our Runner-up Award – three players get our nod – Calgary’s Lizzie MacKinnon, Edmonton’s Chelsea Guthrie and Concordia’s Bianca Farella. Outstanding ladies!

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD (MEN): University of Victoria’s Nathan Yanagiya wins – he stormed into senior rugby via the BC Elite Youth Sevens Program along with runner-up(s) Fergus Hall, Mike Harvey and Jeff Nishima-Miller. Someone from this group will be on the iRB Sevens circuit before 2013 ends.

BEST HIGH SCHOOL TEAM OF THE YEAR (Boys): For the last few years Shawnigan Lake School has lead the way with their top to bottom rugby programs winning accolades at every port-of-call. It may be time for the red blazer crowd to put the school on the ‘national development pathway’ if things continue…which seems highly likely. Good job Tim and his staff!

RUNNER-UP BEST HIGH SCHOOL TEAM OF THE YEAR (Boys): Carson Graham Secondary School wins – despite the obstacles Tom Larish’s boys just got on with it in their usual tenacious and committed play. If we had a “No Fear” award the North Shore boys would win it for sure!

BEST HIGH SCHOOL TEAM OF THE YEAR (Girls): Oakville Trafalgar wins with Ashbury College close behind. The Red Devils from Oakville were simply awesome!

BEST TRADE OF THE YEAR AWARD: The acquisition of Bret Beukeboom from the University of Victoria to Plymouth Albion in England’s West Country. However - apparently the west-country cider and the locally made pasties are getting to the first year Pro and he is considering a return home - or maybe he is just missing his Leafs…?

WORST TRADE OF THE YEAR AWARD: The release by the Castaway-Wanders of international prop Andy Tiedemann to the French divisions – sure the weather is better in France and the French pay a better wage than his ‘tweed-curtain club’ - but it sounds like the French don’t speak Albertan and Andy’s French lessons are receiving a less favorable grade than he was used to getting as an A+ honors student in the Engineering Department at University of Victoria!

THE AUGA AWARD: With the ARC teams sliding into Victoria this past October the tournament director decided to take a page from David Suzuki’s book and insist that the visiting teams drink water from the tap instead of bottled water (as outlined in the iRB/ARC contract) – the resulting ‘Latin response’ got so intense that it woke up some of the Members of the Legislature who offered the visiting team a parliament tour, a dinner with the Lt. Governor and a BC pin to appease the situation. In the end the Argies took it out on our boys in the final game of the tournament – probably next year we should get them some bottled water upon request!

Here’s a deal for next year

PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD (Sevens): The “King” returns after a one year absence following some serious rehab – Phil Mack!

SEVENS COACH OF THE YEAR (Men): A group of sensational graduates emerged from the British Columbia Elite Sevens Program under the guidance of former national seven’s coach and iRB record holder Shane Thompson. He wins going away.

SEVENS PLAYER OF THE YEAR (Women): This one is easy for 2012 – Jen Kish wins – she was simply outstanding at every venue and probably could have won the Tour de France as a follow-up to the last tournament this year! Simply outstanding within a team of Champions and podium winners!

SEVENS COACH OF THE YEAR (Women): The big fella from Mill Bay has to win after 2012 was such a wonderful success. He probably still has some tattoo-space for adding the player’s names on that lengthy frame - and there will be plenty help with the spelling! Well done JT.

PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD (Women): With no fixtures for over a year it may be time to put someone else in charge of finding our Team some games ‘cause they’ve heard the CEO snivel about “lack of money” for far too long now. Here’s a thought – he couldn’t care less! Regardless the entire WOMEN’S TEAM wins this year’s award for their patience and for their loyalty to each other. Buy a calendar everyone!

MANAGER OF THE YEAR (Women): Kristy Martin Hale was fired from her post out at the COE motel for undisclosed reasons – she wins the Award again until RC comes clean on that housekeeping blunder. Her replacement looks worthy and will obviously be in the running next year – however Casey’s tip (noted below) should be a consideration for her looking ahead….

“The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.” Casey Stengel

RUNNER-UP MANAGER OF THE YEAR (Women): The Meraloma Club’s Connie McGinley wins. Rising from manager to club president has made little difference in her behavior – she still does everything on behalf of her club and sings “I’ll do it My Way” as she goes.

MANAGER OF THE YEAR (Men): The winner (again) this year is Brian Hunter (Sevens Manager). He could be catching up to the CEO for award accomplishments except he drives a smaller car and actually works on behalf of players at field level. It should be time for the boys at the RC motel to find a photo of Brian and post it up on their site – either way Hunter wins! Way-to-go Brian! Keep it real.

“Some of us will do our jobs well and some will not, but we will be judged by only one thing - the result.” Vince Lombardi

THE MOST TIRESOME PERSON (S) OF THE YEAR AWARD: This goes to the English 7’s team again for their continued arrogance at every venue stop on the circuit this past year. We are sending each of them an etiquette book so they can read it, digest it and stop talking about themselves in the media scrums and post tournament interviews. Plus if we hear once more “We’re not sending our best team…” in regards to the iRB Women’s Sevens circuit it will make us collectively hurl! Someone suggested to the Dixie Chicks after the “Bush Incident” to Shut-up and Sing…can we suggest with that theme in mind that the English women Shut-the-Hell-up and Play?

It's hard to be humble, when you're as great as I am. Muhammad Ali

MOST OVERUSED WORD OF THE YEAR AWARD: Clearly “PATHWAY” must win this award! Last year’s winner “next-level” was a close second.

Coaches who can outline plays on a black board are a dime a dozen. The ones who win get inside their player and motivate.

THE RC PATHWAY AWARD: This is a new award after the tedious over-use of the word by the upper-level red coats. The fact is - we still are massively short of top flight domestic coaches and the number of players in clubs appears to be wandering away like the exodus from Egypt. “Bring back the Pride” many have shouted – but most folks are just confused as our talented boys continue to head off-shore to play in the European minor leagues. Meanwhile development programs stumble along in varying degrees of purpose depending on who is in charge at the grassroots level. And the really good coaches are few and far between - and are over worked wherever they do reside – meanwhile all is well at the top as the brass continue to prance around the office in their Kooga gear…good thing Armani isn’t our clothing supplier! The boys in red win.

THE SNAKES AND LADDERS AWARD: The upper-management contingent at RC wins the Award this year after the ARC tournament – plus they receive a copy of the kid’s game. They (RC) still haven’t figured out how to treat their volunteers properly – even in this day and age. The snakes outnumber the ladders 10 to 1 and volunteers are treated accordingly. The new GM seems to have an encouraging plan but there are still a lot of snakes to nuke!

"It is no use saying 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed at doing what is necessary." Winston Churchill

PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD (Men): This year Clermont’s Jamie Cudmore wins…he continues to excel in a world of giants. When he turns out for the NSMT we are a totally different group of performers. Jamie wins.

RUNNER-UP PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD: After his November test performances – the Meraloma Club scrum-half Eric Wilson wins. The Delta firefighter was not part of the present RC “pathway” until injures beset the team. Then he showed up on the radar with autobahn speed, skill & guile – as we suggested previously - it may be time for RC to consider some new lingo or at least keep abreast of their domestic talent pool. Way to go Eric!

BEST TRAVEL STORY OF THE YEAR AWARD: Our man Jeb wins this year – he celebrated too long after his Currie Cup win and wasn’t listening carefully enough when some guy said to him in Afrikaans that he needed a VISA in order to return north into Pommyland for the November test window. Now we hear that he’s on the northwest coast of France taking swimming lessons before he makes his night-crossing from Normandy to Dover in the English Channel. Oh Jeb…your followers on Face Book will love this one!

“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money”.

THE OWN THE PODIUM AWARD: This is awarded to the Government of Canada (again) for having the (continued) in-sight to recognize our National Women’s Sevens Team. They remain world class and continue to stand on the podium (on and off the field) across the globe. Way to go JP – three stars baby!

Happy New Year everyone! "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain" Dolly Parton