Text twitter tweet - Technology and Relationships

Text, Twitter, Tweet

Couples, the Internet and Social Media

www.prepare-enrich.com.au© 2015 PREPARE/ENRICH Australia

Objectives

• How digital technology matters in the lives of Australian couples

• The impact of the internet, mobile phones and social media on couple relationships

• Important or emerging issue for many couples and as a Marriage and Relationship Educator

CatholicCare Marriage and Relationship Educators:• Build a sense of connectedness with their

co educators and facilitators.• Learn new skills and knowledge to inform

their work.• Gain a deeper understanding of the role,

influence and implications of social media in committed couple relationships.

• Share skills, knowledge and processes when presenting different sessions.

• Enjoy the day and have fun!


Text, Twitter or Tweet

#MREPDDay#CatholicCareMRE

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/PrepareEnrichAU

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Slide pack: http://www.slideshare.net/shanemichaelsmith/


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https://twitter.com/PrepareEnrichAU

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http://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=9848730



http://www.slideshare.net/shanemichaelsmith/

http://www.slideshare.net/shanemichaelsmith/

Key messages:

What can I do differently today to make a difference for tomorrow?

• As a professional?

• Personally in my relationships?

• As an advocate for change?

Marriage and Relationship

EducatorAs a Partner

With individuals

and couples


Agenda:

• The internet, mobile phones and social media

• A tool for couple communication

• A tool for learning

• Being distracted by the wired world

• Turing toward each other

• Solving your solvable Problems

• Ethics and Social Media


Questions

1. Internet/broadband connection?

2. Mobile phone?

3. Is your mobile a smartphone (connected to the internet)

4. Facebook? Twitter?

5. Blogging?

6. Facetime, Skype, Hangouts?

7. Dual screening?


The Internet and Mobile Communication

As at December 2014 *• ~21.2M internet subscribers (90%) [26th, 3.2Bn worldwide]• 79% household, 21% business/Government• >99% are broadband connections

48% are mobile and fix wireless

40% are DSL

10% are cable, fibre or satellite

1.3% Dialup (from 47% in 2006)• Download speed 8 - 24Mbps (up 24% from 2013)

[nbn = 12 - 100mbps]

• 21M mobile handsets (Pop 23m); Data download 53MTB (x2)

• http://www.internetlivestats.com/


http://www.internetlivestats.com/

Tech use 2000 v 2015

Tech use 2000 Tech use 2015Almost everyone had landlines, 28% response rate

41% of households are wireless-only9% Response Rate

Less than half the country were online, not much social media, no smartphones

Access is increasingly on-the-go. People engage with a host of devices, platforms, and news sources, all throughout the day

Vast majority of online access took place in a stationary environment

Things like “going online”, “getting news”, or “talking politics” are continuous activities

“Going online” was typically a discrete activity oriented around a specific task

Hard for ordinary users to recall and discuss specific actions they might have taken

Pretty easy to ask people about their device usage and online behaviours

Untangling the “impact” of any single device, article, event, tweet, etc. is really hard


What is Social Media?

Social Media refers to the use of web-based and mobile technologies to turn communication into an interactive dialogue

Websites, Blogs, Forums, Social Media Sites, Mobile Applications

https://player.vimeo.com/video/80387678

What sort of Content do we post to Social Media Sites?

Generally Text, Pictures, Video about:

- What we are doing?- Where we are?- What subjects are topical?- What we are working on next?

Compelling content:

- Text – easy- Picture – medium- Video - hard




Social Media Facts ^ http://www.internetlivestats.com/

Worldwide internet users 2012 >3.1 billion; Facebook > 1.4bn

Australian internet users 90% (21.2M); 62% on social sites; Facebook 14M

Australian average >2.1hrs/day on social sites; 53% women and 47% men

78% say it helps maintain relationships with friends & family

95% are worried about online privacy;

87% to the time their partner is online

In the US, Facebook is cited in 1 in 5 divorces

In the UK: 1 in 8 partners claim they use their phone more than talking to them^ Source: Oxygen Media and Lightspeed Research; Sensis Social Media Report May 2011; 7th Relationships Indicators Survey, Relationships Australia 2011




Social Media sitesAs at December 2015 #

1. Facebook – 14M users (steady)

2. YouTube – 13.7M unique visitors

3. WordPress.com – 5.9M

4. Instagram – 5M

5. Tumblr – 4.6M

6. LinkedIn – 3.5M

7. Blogspot – 2.8M

8. Twitter – 2.8M

9. WhatsApp – 2.5M

10.TripAdvisor – 2M

# SocialMediaNews.com.au, May 2015

Facebook – Looks like the internet user population, just younger Twitter – Young, ethnically diverse, mobile-centric Instagram – See Twitter Pinterest – Lots of women LinkedIn – Middle-aged professionals


What site for what content?

Discover what MAREAA has to

offer

Marriage and

Relationship tips and

info.

Blog information, events and distribute

across various channels


visual discovery, collection, sharing.

Video, Online PresentationsPromotion via

Webinars/Webcasts,

Promote MAREAA to the

business communitywww.prepare-enrich.com.au

© 2015 PREPARE/ENRICH Australia

Device UseHandout: https://youtube.com/watch?v=IFJU6g-CVvQ

1. Which electronic device do you use?

2. Which Internet-enabled mobile devices do you use?

3. How many devices do you own?

4. What activities?

5. When and where do you find yourself using your mobile device?

6. How many hours a week do you spend on your devices?

7. Do you implement strategies to manage device usage?

8. How do you feel about your partners use?


https://youtube.com/watch?v=IFJU6g-CVvQ

Global comparison


Australia Social Media


Case study: Facebook

Over 14 million members ~60.5% of the population

Male/Female: 47%/53%

Average Facebook user in Australia is spending >8 hours per month on the site.

68% - Connect with friends/family62% - See photos/videos 38% - Chat or message 17% - Post personal updates 16% - Get news 14% - Play games

Demographics:

= 13yrs of age = 114,000 (1.1%)

14 – 17yrs of age = 1,261,500 (11.9%)

18 – 24yrs of age = 2,626,140 (24.7%)

25 – 34yrs of age = 2,766,200 (26.1%)

35 – 44yrs of age = 1,775,540 (16.7%)

45 – 54yrs of age = 1,136,960 (10.7%

55 – 64yrs of age = 592,680 (5.6%)

65yrs of age + = 337,980 (3.2%)


Other sites have comparable levels of user engagement

% of users who check in daily:

63% - Facebook

57% - Instagram

46% - Twitter

23% - Pinterest

13% - LinkedIn


Demographics


Mature age use of new technologies #

The ‘New Age Retiree’:

• They are well and truly online

• 500k online every month, 1.8 million page-views

• Massive users of mobile devices

• 95% considered themselves healthy

• 75% have paid off their home

• 40% of people plan to travel overseas in the next year

• 26% shop online

• Only 50% of online over 60s are retired# Rebecca Wilson, founder and CEO of Starts at 60


Questions?

1. How has the Internet and Social Media has changed the lives of couples?

2. How has the Internet and Social Media changed your role as a MRE?

3. How has the Internet and Social Media impacted on your relationship?


How Social Media has changed the lives of couples

• The way couples find and receive news and information

• How they stay in touch with others (and reconnect)

• How people reveal themselves and share information

• How couples make friends and find acquaintances

• The way people find potential partners

• How couples do business

• How businesses connect to buyers and potential buyers

• How they learn.


How Social Media has changed your role

Up to 80% of Australian practitioners have counselled clients who have concerns about the impact of digital communications tools on their relationships.

Results from the practitioner survey revealed:

• 80% of respondents had counselled clients who raised concerns about the impact of Facebook on relationships;

• 72% had encountered concerns about email; and

• 50% had encountered concerns about mobile internet devices, blogs and forums.

Working with couples enables a conversation about Social Media and the issues and dangers for couples.

* Source: Knight, K. Child Family Community Australia (CFCA) information exchange, 28 May 2012. www.prepare-enrich.com.au© 2015 PREPARE/ENRICH Australia

How Social Media has changed your relationship

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage work (Gottman, John and Silver, Nan: 2015 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work):

1. Enhance your love maps

2. Nurture your fondness and admiration

3. Turn toward each other instead of away

4. Let your partner influence you

5. Solve your Solvable Problems

6. Overcome gridlock

7. Create shared meaning


1. Enhance you Love Maps

Handout: Gottman The Love Map 20 Questions Game (p58-59)

1. Describe our first meeting?

2. Describe what each of us was wearing on that first meeting?

3. What hobbies does my partner like to do on his or her own?

4. What areas/countries has my partner lived in their life?

5. What are my partner’s current stressors? (People or things)

https://www.mareaa.asn.au/attachments/article/134/Gottman%20Questions.pdf


2. Nurture your fondness and admiration

Exercise (p.72):

Fondness and Admiration questionnaireTo assess the current state of your fondness and admiration in your relationship, answer the following.

Read each statement and circle T for “True” or F for “False”.

Scoring: Give yourself 1 point for each “true” answer.



Couples who stay together, end to turn toward each other

on average of 86% of the time

Couples who divorce, tend to turn toward each other

on average of 33% of the time



Exercise (p 90):

Is your relationship primed for Romance?To get a good sense of how your relationship is faring (or is likely to fare in the future), answer the following.

Read each statement and circle T for “True” or F for “False”.

Scoring: Give yourself 1 point for each “true” answer.



Two obstacles to turning toward each other:

1. Missing a bid because it is wrapped in anger or a negative emotion

2. Being distracted by the wired world



The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains (Carr, Nicholas, G: 2010):

“Self-distraction has become a permanent, unconscious habit for many”

Devices enable turning away!



Questions:

1. Who is very uncomfortable when they are without their phone?

2. Have you had to acknowledge that there is a problem?

3. Do you implement strategies to manage device usage?



Self-assessment for couples on why they are using online sites:

1. Assess how much time you are talking to the opposite sex or particular individuals online

2. Spell out your expectations with others when online

3. Do not engage in intimate conversations with someone other than your partner

4. Share passwords with your partner

5. Set parameters around how much time and when you are online



Another approach: The emotional bank account

• Reunite at the end of the day and talk

• Shop together

• Cook, Clean, Garden together

• Go away for the weekend

• Volunteer together

• Double date with friends

• Write a letter or card

• Talk



69% of marital conflict is related to Perpetual Problems

The top five (now six) areas of relationship conflict:

1. Work Stress (in and out of the house)

2. In Laws

3. Finances

4. Sex

5. Children

6. Being distracted by the wired world



Sample of Australian Couples: PREPARE/ENRICH*

42%

18% 19%21%

0%

50%

19% 19%

12%

0%

18%

10%

17%

21%

34%

0%

10%

20%

30%

40%

50%

60%

Vitalised Harmonious Conventional Conflicted Devitalised

Dating

Engaged

Married

*(12 months to July 31, 2014)www.prepare-enrich.com.au© 2015 PREPARE/ENRICH Australia


After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship (Wile, Daniel, B: 2008)

“When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular

set of unresolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next

10, 20 or 50 years”



Exercise (p.196-198):

Unplugging from Distractions: QuizTo get a good sense of whether the issue of high-tech distractions is a significant one for your relationship and requires some extra attention, answer the following.

Read each statement and circle ‘Rarely’, ‘At times’, ‘Usually’ or ‘Often’.

Scoring: Add up the points (indicated in each column).



Pornography:

• Estimated 500 millions pages of sexually explicit material

• 20 – 33% of Internet Users go online for sexual purposes*

• Research indicates that habitual use impacts the nature and quality of sex in relationships:

o Less frequent sex

o Less sexual communications

o Less Mutually satisfying sex

o Increased risk of betrayal

* American Association for Marriage and Family Therapywww.prepare-enrich.com.au© 2015 PREPARE/ENRICH Australia

Ethics and Social Media

MREs are not expected to avoid social media but must engage in social media in an ethically appropriate and professional manner.

MREs need to separate their personal social media use from their professional social media use.

Ethical concerns as an MRE*:

• Client Confidentiality concerns

• Dual roles/multiple relationships

• Conflicts of interest

• Advertising

* American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy

The biggest potential problem with Facebook tends to be around managing Friend requests and controlling who posts on your Wall.



Quick tips*:

Personal Accounts Professional Accounts

Use an email account that is not associated with your

professional activities and that is never used to interact with

clients

Use an email account that is not associated with your

personal activities and that is never used to interact with

clientsFamiliarise yourself with each

site’s terms of use, privacy policy, etc.

Familiarise yourself with each site’s terms of use, privacy

policy, etc.




Familiarise yourself with how each site makes

recommendations for friends/followers/connections

Familiarise yourself with how each site makes

recommendations for friends/followers/connections

Take full advantage of each site’s privacy settings and lock

down personal accounts to decrease the chances of clients finding your personal accounts

Implement a social media policy and clearly convey that

policy to clients



* American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy


Do not post work related information on personal accounts

Familiarise yourself with the different types of accounts and

pages that are available on each site and choose options that minimise risks associated with client confidentiality, dual roles, conflicts of interest, etc.

Comply with the MAREAA Code of Ethics for Marriage, Relationship and Family Educators ensuring that descriptions of

yourself and your work are accuratehttps://www.mareaa.asn.au/about-us/ethics


https://www.mareaa.asn.au/about-us/ethics

References, additional resources:

A Psychotherapist’s Guide to Facebook and Twitter: Why Clinicians Should Give a Tweet!

http://www.psychotherapy.net/article/psychotherapists-guide-social-media

To Accept or Not to Accept? How to Respond When Clients Send “Friend Request” to their psychotherapists or counsellors on social networking sites

http://www.zurinstitute.com/socialnetworking.html







Key messages:

What can I do differently today to make a difference for tomorrow?

• As a professional?

• Personally in my relationships?

• As an advocate for change?


EducatorAs a Partner

With individuals

and couples


Objectives

• How digital technology matters in the lives of Australian couples

• The impact of the internet, mobile phones and social media on couple relationships

• Important or emerging issue for many couples and as a Marriage and Relationship Educator


Text twitter tweet - Technology and Relationships

Education

Transcript of Text twitter tweet - Technology and Relationships