Technically Write
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Transcript of Technically Write
Technically Technically WriteWrite
with Alistair King
Welcome to
Spoken vs Written
Spoken Language Written Languageis
impermanentis
permanent
and negotiable
and non-negotiable
Note that Written Note that Written Language and Spoken Language and Spoken
Language have different Language have different structures.structures.
Spoken Spoken LanguageLanguage
EvaluationNew machines
Old machines
New product
Company
Demand
TopicWhat is the document
about?
Revised Maintenance Procedures
We refer to the above.We refer to the above subject.We refer to the above-mentioned subject.
Topic
This report describes the revised maintenance procedures, initiated in March, 2009 and assesses their impact on production capacity.
Topic Sentence:
A topic sentenceA topic sentence¤ expands or extends the title.¤ Identifies, introduces or summarizes the topic.
Topic
Final Particulars of Extension of Final Particulars of Extension of Time for CompletionTime for Completion
In accordance with the Clause _______, of the Conditions of Contract,we enclose the final details in respect of the event referred to in our notification / letter of _______ .
We write to inform you that the progress of We write to inform you that the progress of the Works has been suspended by reason of the Works has been suspended by reason of
climatic conditions on the Site …climatic conditions on the Site …
Suspension of the Works due to Suspension of the Works due to Climatic Conditions on the Site Climatic Conditions on the Site
Read this paragraph and devise a title and a topic sentence.
The globalization trend is moving programming jobs from Europe and the US to low-labour countries such as China or India. This appears to place computer science research and departments at risk of being considered as working on obsolete technologyHowever, the opposite is true. Computer science is on the verge of a new generation of computing that is leading to innovation not only in computing but also in business, science, and all other endeavours that depend on computing. It could be that this very volatile situation with regard to the l;abour market is of benefit to the industry.
Computer science appears to be in a period of Computer science appears to be in a period of crisis.crisis.
Topicestablish the topicmaintain the topic
Washing clothesWashing clothes is simple. is simple. First, arrange the First, arrange the clothesclothes into groups according to into groups according to their colours. In some their colours. In some cases, you may find that one cases, you may find that one group is sufficient. If you group is sufficient. If you lack a lack a washing machinewashing machine, you , you may have to take the may have to take the clothesclothes to a to a laundrylaundry. It is . It is important not to important not to washwash too too many many clothesclothes at one time at one time because faults in the because faults in the washing machinewashing machine may may occur. occur. Washing machineWashing machine repairs are often expensive repairs are often expensive and time-consuming. …and time-consuming. … 1/2
Washing ClothesAt first, At first, washing clotheswashing clothes may appear may appear complicated; soon however, it will become complicated; soon however, it will become part of life. It is difficult to imagine part of life. It is difficult to imagine dispensing with the need for dispensing with the need for washing washing clothesclothes, but, in the future, it may be , but, in the future, it may be possible. After you have completed possible. After you have completed washing the clotheswashing the clothes, arrange the , arrange the clothesclothes into groups according to who owns them into groups according to who owns them and place them in their respective and place them in their respective cupboardscupboards. In due course, they will be . In due course, they will be removed and removed and wornworn again and then the cycle again and then the cycle of of washing clotheswashing clothes will be repeated. will be repeated. 2/2
PatientPatientActionActionAgentAgent
The cleanerThe cleaner cleanscleans the floorthe floor
A policemanA policeman is going to arrestis going to arrest that manthat man
SomebodySomebody has stolenhas stolen my walletmy wallet
unimportantunimportant
unnecessaryunnecessary
unknownunknown
The Passive Version:(focus on the patient)
The floor is cleaned.
The Passive Version:(focus on the patient)
That man is going to be arrested.
The Passive Version:(focus on the patient)
My wallet has been stolen.
Passive FormsPassive FormsPatientPatient(receives the action)(receives the action)
““to be”to be”(tense and mood)(tense and mood)
Past ParticiplePast Participle(action)(action)
The systemThe systemThe machineThe machineThe houseThe houseThe windowThe windowThe supplierThe supplierThe lensThe lens
isisarearewaswaswerewerehas beenhas beenhad beenhad beenwill bewill bemust bemust becould becould be
installedinstalledrepairedrepairedbuiltbuiltstolenstolencleanedcleanedcontactedcontactedbrokenbrokenupdatedupdated
Active or Passive?• A thorough investigation has been
conducted and the causes have been identified.
• We have conducted a thorough investigation and we have identified the causes.
Active or Passive?
The technicians have identified the following faults: • Technicians• Technicians• Technicians• Technicians
The following faults have been identified:• Faults• Faults• Faults• Faults• Faults
• The Contractor shall take every reasonable precaution to protect any section of the Works …
• Every reasonable precaution shall be taken by the Contractor to protect any section of the Works …
• The Contractor shall give the Engineer, in writing, twenty-one days notice of the date …
• The Engineer shall be given, in writing by the Contractor, twenty-one days
notice of the date …
First we subjected the blintzer coils to the Hinzlefetzer stress test. Then we measured the stress effects in bluto units. We found an unusually low aggregation of blutomin in the coil material. Then we initiated another round of tests. Finally, we placed a telephone order for pizza and diet Coke.
Passive: Passive: The form must be signed by the employee to The form must be signed by the employee to authorize release of physician information to the authorize release of physician information to the insurance company. insurance company. Active: Active: The employee must sign the form to authorize The employee must sign the form to authorize release of physician information to the insurance release of physician information to the insurance companycompany.
Passive: Passive: It should be noted that any change to the It should be noted that any change to the procedure must be recorded in the master procedure must be recorded in the master file. file. Active/ Imperative: Active/ Imperative: Note: When you change the procedure, Note: When you change the procedure, record the change in the master file. record the change in the master file.
Passive:Passive:Static-sensitive components are Static-sensitive components are stored in protective enclosures. stored in protective enclosures. Active/ Imperative: Active/ Imperative: Store static-sensitive components Store static-sensitive components in protective enclosures. in protective enclosures.
Grammatical Differences
Description
Explanation
Instruction
WHAT?
WHY?
HOW?
Constructing a Solar Still
About 1 MetrePan to collect water
Water will collect on underside of plastic
sheet
Plastic Sheet
Stones to weigh down sheet
Smooth Stone
1 Metre
B r e a kfor
Lunch
LanguageLanguage
??
The basic message transmitted from the The basic message transmitted from the speaker/writer to the listener/readerspeaker/writer to the listener/reader
Two Aspects of Communication
TTransactionalransactional
Please settle your bill by … otherwise we shall have to resort to legal action.
Pay now or we’ll take you to court!
Kindly be advised that failure to effect immediate payment will inevitably
lead to the commencement of legal action.
Please give this your utmost priority.Please give this your utmost priority.
I want it and I want it NOW! I want it and I want it NOW!
I wonder if I could possibly ask you if you might …
The basic message transmitted from the The basic message transmitted from the speaker/writer to the listener/readerspeaker/writer to the listener/reader
Two Aspects of Communication
TTransactionalransactional
The reaction elicited by the way in which The reaction elicited by the way in which the message is presentedthe message is presented
IInteractionalnteractional
Transactional - Interactional
Transactional language is used to convey "factual or propositional information" and has the primary purpose of "the efficient transference of information". Interactional language, by contrast, is used to establish and maintain social relationships.
Discourse Analysis Brown, G and Yule,G (1983)
Sit Down !Kindly assume a seated position.Would you mind sitting down ?
Please take a seat.Would you like to take a seat ?
Effective Effective communiccommunic
ation is ation is about about
making making the right the right choiceschoices
Do you:Do you:demanddemand or or requestrequest??
rejectreject or or declinedecline??
complaincomplain or or highlighthighlight??
Transactional + Interactional
= Effective CommunicationCertain features of some business documents militate against Effective Communication:
VERBOSITYVERBOSITY
CIRCUMLOCUTIONCIRCUMLOCUTION
TAUTOLOGYTAUTOLOGY
We hereby wish to inform of the We hereby wish to inform of the following alterations to the schedule.following alterations to the schedule.
OR …
Please note the following alterations to the schedule.
VerboseVerboseUngrammaticalUngrammatical
OR …
We are enclosing a copy of the report which you requested.
As per your valued recent request, enclosed herewith please find a copy of the above-mentioned report for your kind perusal and necessary action.
VerboseVerboseArchaicArchaic
TautologousTautologous
Kindly be advised of our revised Kindly be advised of our revised operating procedure, as noted below:operating procedure, as noted below:
Or …
Please note our revised operating procedure:
VerboseVerboseImpersonalImpersonal
The teleconversation this morning with The teleconversation this morning with your goodself refers your goodself refers ……
OR …
As I/you/we suggested/clarified/requested/agreed/decided/highlighted on the telephone this morning, …
VerboseVerboseArchaicArchaic
Unfocused Unfocused
In the event of any enquiries, please do In the event of any enquiries, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.not hesitate to contact the undersigned.
OR
Please contact me/us if you have any enquiries.
VerboseVerboseCircumlocutiousCircumlocutious
ImpersonalImpersonal
We would appreciate it, if you could We would appreciate it, if you could attend to the above-mentioned matter attend to the above-mentioned matter at your earliest possible convenience.at your earliest possible convenience.
Or …
We would appreciate your prompt attention to this matter.
VerboseVerboseCircumlocutiousCircumlocutious
Dear Valued Customer,
We look forward to your favourable reply.XX
We refer to the above.We refer to the above.XX
XX
The five ‘C’sCLEAR: The document can be
understood on the first reading.CONCISE: The document is down to an
intelligent and intelligible minimum.COMPLETE: All necessary material has
been included.CORRECT: The document is accurately
written and the points verifiable.COURTEOUS: The document treats the
reader with respect.
CommunicativeCommunicative
[email protected]@aksb.com.my
aa TENSE TENSE afternafternoon!oon!
We have accepted the invitation to the We have accepted the invitation to the function.function.
We accepted the invitation on 25We accepted the invitation on 25thth January. January.
They cancelled the function on 26They cancelled the function on 26thth January. January.
We had accepted the invitation to the We had accepted the invitation to the function when they cancelled the function.function when they cancelled the function.
Present PerfectPresent Perfect
Simple PastSimple Past
Simple PastSimple Past
Past PerfectPast Perfect
Simple PastSimple Past
The bridge collapsed because it rained
heavily.
The bridge collapsed because it rained heavily.
The bridge collapsed because it had rained
heavily.
The bridge collapsed because it rained
heavily.
The student failed his The student failed his exam because he played exam because he played football the whole time.football the whole time.
The student failed his exam becauseThe student failed his exam because he HAD played football the whole time.he HAD played football the whole time.
He sustained an electric shock
because he had touched the live
wire.
XX
SIMPLE PAST NOW
PRESENT PERFECT
PRESENT
PERFECT
PAST PERFECT
Time Line
1989SIMPLE PAST
2013NOW
“Since 1989, I have visited Los Angeles.”
“In / By 1989, I had visited Los Angeles.”
Time Line
“I have visited Los Angeles.”
“I visited Los Angeles in 1989.”
Iwamatsu Ltd.Iwamatsu Limited ____________ (establish) in 1935 to
manufacture machine tools and mining equipment. In 1985, the company ____________ (expand) its production to include farm tractors. Since then, Iwamatsu _____________ (develop) a wide range of sophisticated mining equipment. The workforce ___________ (grow) to its current strength of 15,600 worldwide. In 1995, it __________ (rank) No.4 in the world in the production of construction equipment.
In the last fifteen years, sales __________ (increase) by an average of 14% annually. Sales in 1995 __________ (total) 583 billion Yen, which was a jump of 21% over the previous year.
Since 1965, the company _____________ (receive) the prestigious Bentley Prize for quality control no fewer than seven times.
was established
expanded
has developed
has grownranked
have increasedtotalled
has received
AC200In 2001, the AC200 ____________ (introduce) onto
the market to replace AC100, which ___________ (become) unable to cope with the increased workload of many users. In 2001, the sustainable market life of the AC200 ___________ (expect) to be five years. However, sales ___________ (surpass) expectations. Indeed, in the last twelve months sales ___________ (show) an increase of 12%.
In order to capitalise on the success of the AC200, a modified version, the AC200e, _____________ (develop) and ___________ (launch) before the end of this year.
was introducedhad become
was expectedhave surpassed
have shown
has been developedwill be launched
Dear ……. Super-Sealer Concrete We would like to draw your attention to Super-Sealer Concrete, which [1]__________ (arrive) on the Malaysian market within the last month. Yesterday morning, we [2]__________ (meet) with representatives of Maxwell Mixwell Cement Sdn Bhd, the company which has the sole distribution rights for this product in Malaysia. The MMC representatives [3]________ (show) us samples of this product before and after mixing and [4]__________ (provide) us with ingredient specifications, a copy of which we are enclosing.
has arrived
met
showedprovided
Super-Sealer Concrete contains the water-resistant substance Impervion, which [5]_____________ (be developed) by Swedish scientists in 2002. Since then, Impervion [6]_____________ (be used) in a variety of construction projects with flat concrete roofs, for example, the 35-storey Political Prisoner Rehabilitation Centre in Yangon and the shark-shaped New Sydney Opera House. Super-Sealer Concrete comes with a 25-year warranty against leaks.
was developed
has been used
When we [7]__________ (present) our proposal with estimate of cost to you in October, Super-Sealer Concrete [8]______________ (not become) available in Malaysia. However, we now feel that this concrete would be of great benefit if used in the concrete roofing slabs for both the main office block and the adjacent car park. This would incur an additional cost to you of approximately RM70,000. Please let us know if you agree to this in principle and we will provide you with a new, detailed estimate to reflect the additional cost. Yours sincerely
presented
had not become
1. installed; have encountered2. noticed; had cracked3. switched; came4. bought; has serviced5. began; had used6. reported; had seen7. cost; have risen8. occurred; had forgotten9. took; have not repaired10.have replaced; replaced
`
BreBreakak
* * WelcomWelcom
ee * *Day 2
It was raining and I opened my umbrella.
and
It was raining so I opened my umbrella.
RelativesRelatives
QualificationsQualifications
AnticipationsAnticipations
Linking Devices
COHESION
BecauseBecause Windows was not shut down properly,one or more of your drives may have errors on it.
Exit
100%
Microsoft Scandisk
Relatives
1. Tin, which is one of Malaysia’s most important natural resources, is exported to many countries.2. Tin, which is exported to many countries, is one of Malaysia’s
most important natural resources.
Principal Clause
Subordinate Clause
Tin is exported to many countries.
Relative Clause Tin is one of Malaysia’s most important natural resources.
which
E
P S R
E = Clause
P = PrincipalS = Subordinate
R = Relative
Clause
Relatives
Tin, which is one of Malaysia’s most important natural resources, is exported to many countries.
Tin, which is exported to many countries, is one of Malaysia’s most important natural resources.
1.
Relatives
Tin is mined in Perak, which is one of Malaysia’s richest states.
Perak, where tin is mined, is one of Malaysia’s richest states.
2.
Relatives
The price of tin is heavily dependent on world demand, which has fluctuated considerably in recent years.
World demand, on which the price of tin is heavily dependent, has fluctuated considerably in recent years.
3.
Relatives
These fluctuations have seriously affected some tin producers, who have gone out of business.
Some tin producers, whom these fluctuations have seriously affected, have gone out of business.
4.
Relatives
Many tin workers, whose tin mines have been closed, have had to look for other work.
5.
Relatives
Place the relative pronoun next to what it refers to.
Place the principal information in the principal clause.
What is the capital of France ?
“Paris”or
“Paris which stands on the River Seine”
““Capital of France ?”Capital of France ?”
Project Feasibility ProjectProject Feasibility Project
Grammatical ParallelismGrammatical Parallelism
Grammatical Parallelism is a term Grammatical Parallelism is a term which indicates that all of the which indicates that all of the items in a list should share the items in a list should share the same grammatical feature.same grammatical feature.
Observe Observe Grammatical Grammatical ParallelismParallelism
• Turn the screw anti-clockwise to loosen.Turn the screw anti-clockwise to loosen.• Pull the red-coated wire out from the clamp.Pull the red-coated wire out from the clamp.• Repeat the same procedure for the black-coated wire.Repeat the same procedure for the black-coated wire.
OROR• The screw must be turned anti-clockwise to loosen.The screw must be turned anti-clockwise to loosen.• The red-coated wire must be pulled out from the clamp.The red-coated wire must be pulled out from the clamp.• The same procedure must be repeated for the black-coated wire.The same procedure must be repeated for the black-coated wire.
Red lever - place in a vertical position
Say what is wrong with this and correct it:
I enjoy playing tennis, swimming and to climb mountains.
A.
B.Say what is wrong with this and correct it:
Post of Marketing Trainee• SPM graduate of any discipline• Good communication and customer
service skills• Experience is an ADVANTAGE BUT NOT
required• Possess drive to succeed• Fresh graduates / school leavers are
encouraged to apply
C.Say what is wrong with this and correct it:
• Instructions1.Switch off the mains power supply2.Remove the plug from the wall socket3.Unscrewing of the four nuts marked “A”4.The metal cover must be removed5.Red lever - place in a vertical position
Sample 1
• Dismental old unit OB and replace the new unit. After testing, the problem still around.
• Checking and troubleshooting the have relay separation signal having trouble due to supply and relay not enough current to support the coil induction.
• Change the different type relay …• Tested OK, New OB taken back, currently still
using old.
Sample 2
• • • Troubleshooting intercom ….• Checking and trace cable• Trace jelly …
Sample 3
• Send maintenance checklist to …• Collect maintenance checklist …
Sample 4
• Quarter yearly service and maintenance for UPS for the month of June 2011
• Record the battery reading and UPS condition completed
• Sample 5• Install 2 units controller …• Setting database for mixed mode …• Testing and commissioning …
B r e a kfor
L u n c h
WelcomWelcome back!e back!
Manual of Operations
Accounting software user’s manual
Procedures for manufacturing
Owner’s Operation Manual
Human Resource Policies Manual
Operations Manual for opening a restaurant franchise
Manual of Operations
What does it have?
What can it do?
How to do it?
Manual of Operations
Sequencing
PrerequisitesPrerequisites InstructionsInstructions WarningsWarnings
PrerequisitesPrerequisites InstructionsInstructionsWarningsWarnings
Manual of Operations
Rewiring a table lamp
LabLab ReportsReports
Lab Lab ReportsReports
LabLab ReportsReports• Title PageTitle Page• IntroductioIntroductio
nn• MaterialsMaterials• MethodMethod• DataData• ResultsResults
• AnalysisAnalysis• DeductionDeduction• RecommendationsRecommendations• Figures and Figures and GraphsGraphs• ReferencesReferences
Diagnosis
Treatment
Introduction
SymptomsFindings
Conclusions
Recommendations
Components of a Technical Report
Diagnosis
Treatment
Introduction
Conclusions
Recommendations
Components of an Executive Summary
INTERGON INCINTERGON INC
Report on Problems Report on Problems with Machines 3 and 6with Machines 3 and 6
Intergon Inc.
Introduction
This report sets out the reasons for the frequent breakdowns on Machine 3 and 6 and identifies the measures to prevent similar recurrences. The problems need to be addressed since there have been hold-ups in production.
Intergon Inc.
Machine 3
ConclusionsInadequate internal 1st level supportPoor response time from vendorTraining Issues
Operators are not trained prior to machine installation
Inadequate number of operators are trained
Intergon Inc.
Machine 3
ConclusionsNo proper procedures in place
• Machine handling• Quality assurance• Contingency plan for breakdown• Duty schedule
No spare parts kept for emergency breakdown
Intergon Inc.
Machine 6
ConclusionsNo regular maintenanceNo safety measures in place
• Workplace• Personnel
Intergon Inc.
Recommendations Train Internal technicians to provide 1st level
support Institute training for workforce
• Negotiate training package with vendor• Introduce peer training by supervisors
Revise and enforce maintenance contract to include:• Vendors’ response time• Liability for consequential losses and damages
Formulate Operations Manual
Intergon Inc.
Recommendations
Set up quality assurance team Set up Business Continuity and Contingency Plan
to include:• Using other machines as temporary replacement• Requesting other factories in group to despatch stocks
Provide training on first aid and purchase first aid kits
Intergon Inc.
Recommendations
Introduce insurance scheme for staff Carry out regular maintenance on machinesIdentify critical machine parts and keep
stocks for contingenciesSet in place a Duty Schedule and allocate
relief staff
Intergon Inc.
Recommendation
It is imperative for the Management to look into the conclusions and the recommendations to solve the frequent breakdowns and delay in production.
Intergon Inc.
Thank Thank You!You!
All the All the veryvery best!best!
Thank Thank You!You!
A good report is :
CLEAR(may be understood on the first
reading)CONCISE
COMPLETE
CORRECT
(down to an intelligent and intelligible minimum)
(includes all necessary information)
(accurate and verifiable)
All the best in your technical writing!
