The relationship between alcohol and transport has always been much more closely entwined than you might think (and perhaps more than

it should be). Everyone recognises the horror of being the designated driver – sitting sullenly in the corner sipping tonic water while inwardly cursing your ungrateful friends for having a whale of a time. So, it’s no wonder that when Brits find themselves on a form of transport that they do not have to actively operate, they lose the plot a bit.

Think back to the last time you were on a train. Depending on the time of day you probably saw at least one of the following. The fed–up man in need of a shave, with bags under his eyes and a dog–eared tie, who has three empty cans in front of him, as if to say: “I’ve had a hell of a day, and one pint just wasn’t going to cut it.” The table of middle–aged women on their way to a day out at the races. They’ve brought prosecco and all giggle manically as they open it. Or maybe you’re in a carriage full of football fans clutching cans and suspiciously neon bottles – my sympathy if that cruel fate has befallen you.

Drinking on trains is a cause for contention at the moment. Some railway operators have banned it; others positively encourage it. Virgin Trains even have their very own beer and cider, produced for them by Redwillow Brewery in Macclesfield and Thistly Cross in East Lothian. According to Virgin, Tilting Ale and Tilting Cider have been “inspired by, and designed to evoke the spirit of our trains as they speed and tilt on their journey across the country”.

What might be hard to grasp for anyone whose regular commute involves sitting cross-legged on the floor outside the toilet, is that train travel can be the height of glamour. The Venice Simplon-Orient-Express even has its very own Champagne bar. Historically, drinking on trains was a

necessity rather than a treat. Most of the passengers would be seated in open carriages, with no windows or roofs, exposing them completely to the elements. No doubt terrifying, not to mention freezing, and so something to warm the cockles and calm the nerves was deemed essential. When Britain’s first intercity train from Birmingham to Euston opened in 1838, the train would stop halfway at Wolverton Station, where a buffet was laid on. Historian Phil Marsh says: “The trains, the passengers and the staff couldn’t manage more than two to two-and-a-half hours at a time without recovering – they would

Emily Scaife explores the notion that when it comes to drinking, it’s the journey that matters, not the destination

Tipsy travelling

WORDS: Emily Scaife ILLUSTRATION: Delphine Lee

need a new steam engine, there were no toilets on the train so they had to get off to use them and then they would fortify themselves for the next two hours by drinking lots. Wolverton Station employed about 15 staff and they poured food and alcohol down the passengers’ mouths.” Marsh adds that accounts from the time detail exactly how terrifying it was – as the train went through tunnels there would be an immense amount of smoke, loads of noise and a few sparks thrown in for good measure. Let’s face it – you’d probably need a tipple to get you through another two hours of that too. If you also consider the fact that when trains started running from Birmingham to London there was found to be a time difference of 15 minutes, it wouldn’t just have been the alcohol causing confusion by the time it came to disembark.

Nowadays, we don’t have quite such a good excuse for a drink, but that doesn’t stop us. The concept of a ‘train beer’ was introduced to me by a fellow who simply cannot contemplate the notion of

“The table of middle–aged women on their

way to a day out at the races. They’ve

brought prosecco and all giggle manically as

they open it”www.hotrumcow.co.uk82 83

boarding a train without a can. It appears he isn’t the only one either – Marks & Spencer spotted a hole in the market and fi lled it with booze; a range of canned tipples including Cosmopolitans, Gin and Tonics and Mojitos, and a variety of glasses of wine. These are so popular with people boarding trains that they’re nicknamed ‘travellers’ by M&S.

You can’t actually drink on the London underground any more (thanks, Boris), which is a shame, because it put an end to a long history. Once upon a time there used to be pubs inside the stations, largely because of an inevitable truth: where there is travel, there is also waiting. These were especially popular during the First World War because, for reasons that no one really understands, they managed to dodge the introduction of licensing hours imposed to prevent workers from having one too many at lunchtime and not doing their bit for the war eff ort. Most of the pubs were in ticket halls, but a couple were actually on the platforms – one example was the Hole in the Wall at Sloane Square Station, which featured in A Word Child, by Iris Murdoch. Murdoch wrote that they were a “source of dark excitement, places of profound communication with London, with the sources of life”. At Liverpool Street Station, Pat–Mac’s Drinking Den had a serving hatch onto the platform, so you could enjoy a pint while you waited. A bar at South Kensington Station was nicknamed The Snake Pit, which is what I will call my pub if I ever open one. All these pubs have since closed down, partially because (in theory) you don’t have to wait as long for a train to turn up any more. However, if you fancy a taste of the past, there is a way: the Cahoots bar near Oxford Street contains an entire tube carriage.

And then there are planes. Airports are probably the only place it’s positively encouraged to partake in a pint at 7am with your breakfast.

a lot more stewardesses on board, guaranteeing better service. Sound

good? Well, before you wish yourself back to the 50s, bear in mind the following: a few drinks were probably necessary for nerves because the odds of you actually reaching your destination intact weren’t great. And that’s not just if your plane crashed – rubbish seatbelts meant that turbulence was no laughing matter and the interior of the plane was in no way designed with safety in mind, so a simple trip to the toilet and a little jolt meant you could end up impaling yourself on something sharp.

So it’s no wonder these tin death traps were full of inebriated people, praying they made it off alive.

But is there any truth in the urban myth that you get drunk more quickly on a plane? Well, yes and no. Medically, your brain isn’t altered in a way that makes alcohol aff ect you more. But, because planes aren’t pressurised to sea level and there is less oxygen in the air, it can make you feel drunk. Plus, you’re more likely to be dehydrated and tired, both of which will have an eff ect too.

Who doesn’t love having a drink in the departure lounge? Enjoy it – but a word of caution. By all means, fi ll your boots before you get on board, but do so in the knowledge that if the fl ight is grounded, you won’t be able to use the toilet. And that’s speaking from experience, after being on a delayed Friday evening fl ight to Dublin. The longest 30 minutes of my life, and I wasn’t one of the 10 lads on a stag trip practically begging the stewardess to open the door. Also bear in mind the following: NO ONE LIKES THE DRUNKARD ON THE AEROPLANE. Add that to the risk of getting kicked off the fl ight or being tasered, and you’re probably best off with a couple of the tiny, tiny bottles that they hand round. Yes, they look like they were designed for the Borrowers to drink from, but they’ll save you from being public enemy number one. n

“A pub at Liverpool Street Station,

Pat–Mac’s Drinking Den, had a serving

hatch onto the platform, so you

could enjoy a pint while you waited”

However, the ‘glory days’ of international travel were in the 1950s and 1960s, when names such as Pan Am and Concorde entered the public consciousness. Back then, the cost of your ticket included as much free alcohol as you could drink. And there was literally nothing else to do – no TV screens with the latest fi lms, no music. The only alternative was to write postcards to your nearest and dearest. It’s no wonder people opted for boozing instead.

There were plenty of plus points to fl ying back then – loads of room because people weren’t squished together like sardines, no security so you could rock up 20 minutes before your fl ight and walk straight on, and

Advert

84