Supporting pupils bereaved by COVID-19• Welcome to this webinar!

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Introduction

• We are expecting that more children and young people are likely to have experienced bereavement through the effects of the coronavirus (COVID-19) over the next couple of months

• This Webinar aims to offer support to schools or settings and parents and carers on how best to support children and young people who have experienced loss at this uncertain time

Chloe GibsonEducation

Psychologist

Jennie HattanJigsaw SE

Maria DawesCEO Schools Alliance

for Excellence

COVID-19 and Bereavement

Chloe GibsonSurrey Education Psychologist

Aims

To consider the grieving process and specifically in isolation

To increase confidence in supporting bereaved youngsters

To look at what can help and sources of support

Principles

Grief is a normal reaction to loss.

Most young people do not need grief

counselling but need support.

Young people are active in constructing their recovery from

loss.

Experience of loss is unique so the young person’s perspective must be considered.

A knowledge base of loss and bereavement

is empowering to those giving support.

The Grieving Process

• There are many models aiming to illustrate the process. The process is different for each individual, based on their experiences.

• The seven stage model gives some ideas of the feelings and stages which an individual may encounter when grieving .

Normal grief responses

Cognitive/thinking Emotional Physical Behavioural

Grieving and isolation

Being bereaved can be an extremely lonely experience

Grief at this time if further impacted by social distancing/self isolation

The impact of dealing with a bereavement compounded by feelings

of worry about external situations beyond your control could mean that

feelings of grief may not be fully expressed

Current climate means that school communities are dramatically altered

with children and young people now at home. This reduces the structure and

routine in their lives and their exposure to their friends and peer group all of which can help during

grieving

Children may already be experiencing anxiety because of the current

situation and as a result may show a stronger reaction to death and may

worry that others close to them may die

Explaining someone has died through CORONAVIRUS

How to speak to children about death

Although COVID-19 is an new situation the general advice on talking to children about death remains the same and this includes:

Use simple language appropriate to the child’s developmental age

Use the terms ‘died’, ‘death’ and ‘dead’ and avoid euphemisms

Keep children informed about what has happened and be as honest as possible

Answer questions openly and if you don’t know the answer say you will find out and come back to them

Reassure them that they are not to blame

Listen to their feelings, worries, memories

Complicating factors to be aware of in CURRENT CLIMATE

There are some factors about death from COVID-19 that may

impact on children

1. Suddenness – children may have very little time to prepare as people may get sick and die

quite rapidly

2. Distance – children won’t be able to visit or spend time with the dying relative. They won’t

be able to touch or hug them or be in the same space

3. Unpredictability – it is not only the old and frail people

who are dying. People who they know who appeared perfectly

well before they contracted the virus may die

4. Separation – Children may not have support mechanisms in place from those who might normally support them such as

school, friends, wider family members, commuity

Complicated Factors

A lack of normality to routine means that children have fewer opportunities to

switch off and focus on something else for example

school, sport, clubs

Absence of rituals – less chance to say ‘goodbye’

Constant reminder – hard to get away from news,

social media

Anxiety – worry about other family members dying

Identifying individuals who may be at risk

Directly involved

Witnesses

Siblings/relations

Close friendships

Pre existing bereavement/ trauma

Pre existing mental health issues

Pre existing home instability/stress

Leaning difficulties

Culture and/or language barriers

Any perceived culpability/responsibility (especially related to virus spread)

How can we help

Active Listening Relational contagion Connection

Active Listening can be defined as;

Having eye contact with

the person who is speaking

Giving full attention

Sitting quietly without

distracting the person who is

speaking

Focussing on the speaker’s

needs

Showing that you understand

Letting the speaker express

feelings without

interruptions or putdowns.

Show you are listening by

smiling, nodding etc at

the appropriate times.

Communicating acceptance-

that no matter what is said the speaker is still

OK.

Relational Contagion

Emotions are contagious. Perry informs us that, “The same way anxiety and panic is

contagious, so is calm…Don’t underestimate your power to bring calm to others

When supporting children who have been bereaved one of the best ways to support is to model calmness and help contain the emotional responses of others

Connection

Connecting with others is one of our greatest tools. Perry tells us, “The most powerful buffer in times of stress and distress is our social connectedness; so let’s all remember to stay physically distant but emotionally close.

Reach out and connect.” Handling such unprecedented circumstances is nearly impossible on our own. It is ok to reach out, seek help, and accept assistance. Taking care of our own needs is vital when it comes to meeting the needs of our children. An unregulated child cannot be regulated by an unregulated parent.

Sources of Support

Coronavirus: How schools can support children and young people (Winston’s Wish)

Coronavirus: How to say goodbye when a funeral isn’t possible (Winston’s Wish)

Bereavement: Advice and information for parents (Young Minds)

Coronavirus: Grief and Trauma (Cruse)

Resources for children and young people (Child Bereavement UK)

Support from Educational Psychology Service

Short term: during school

closures

• signposting to resources

• providing support remotely about how best to manage communications around loss

• Supporting schools with managing communication processes

Medium term: when schools

return

• Further support and information about how to support pupils and staff after transition back to school

Your Questions

Bereavement support within schools during

Covid 19

Prevalence pre COVID 19

Child Bereavement Network estimate that in 2015, 23,600 parents died in the UK, leaving dependent children (23,200 in 2014).

That's one parent every 22 minutes.

We calculate that this equates to 600 children in Surrey every year.

By the age of 16, 1 in 20 young people will have experienced the death of one or both of their parents (Parsons, 2011).

1 in 30 children will have experienced a bereavement (1 in every class).

What does good support look like?

http://www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/media/96900/grief-matters-for-children-2017.pdf

School support

Jigsaw

Specialist

School's role in bereavement support

Whilst schools consistently report bereavement support was important, there was less clarity in the role that schools should take.

Teachers voiced a desire to support bereaved children but expressed finding themselves ill prepared for dealing with loss and worried about causing them further distress.

These concerns seemed to be a significant hindering factor in encouraging schools to offer such support and staff generally requested more training on how to support bereaved children.

(Winston' Wish, 2019)

Supporting pupils during school closures

For those facing the loss of a loved one

Establish a route of contact and agree when and how often to get in touch

Offer flexibility and support with school work

Have resources to hand to share with the family

Consider offering the child access to school

Supporting pupils during school closures

For those recently bereaved

Keep in touch

Keep a routine

Listen and reassure

Keep remote support going through chosen

contacts

Don't forget those who were bereaved prior to

Covid-19 – this may be a time of heightened

anxiety or complicated grief

Preparations for the return to school

Consider allocating a bereavement lead within each school

Create a network that can support these bereavement leads

Review current school policies, guidance and available support

Do you know which pupils or staff have been bereaved during closure?

What about those who have a terminally ill member of the family?

How is this recorded?

What support is available for them?

Preparations for the return to schoolLaunched in November 2019

Whole-school framework, free to primary and secondary, special and mainstream schools across the UK.

The programme aims to help schools plan ahead to support pupils facing or following the death of someone important in their live

Prepare pupils to manage loss and bereavement in their lives.

http://www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/campaigns/growing-in-grief-awareness.aspx

Audit and Action Plan

Downloadable tool to audit current practice

An automatically populated action plan tailored to the school’s needs

Targeted resources to help address bereavement

Links to local and national specialist training and support organisations

Preparing for Loss

For children and young people aged 0-19, who have a family member with a life-threatening condition.

Initial meeting at home via telephone or video link

Individual support for children and young people via telephone or video link where appropriate.

Telephone advice and information

Signposting to other agencies and organisations

Information, resources and support to professionals working with families

Grief Support

Early grief support and reassurance to families, around the loss of a loved one, by telephone or video link

Information and advice around funerals

Signposting to other agencies and organisations, e.g. for financial advice, coronavirus and its impact on children and families

Peer to peer support

Ongoing support to families – piloting our support online

How can Jigsaw (South East) help?

Support to families – new helpline

Provide support for network of bereavement leads – disseminate up to date advice and resources

Provide bereavement training that meets your requirements right now

What do you

think?

Polls: Bereavement Training

Thank you to Schools Alliance for Excellence for inviting us to take part today

Thank you to schools for all your amazing work supporting children and young people

Your Questions

Promoting Wellbeing: A Long term Approach

A Surrey Healthy Schools Approach to wellbeing and achievement:

• promotes the whole health of the individual, enabling our communities to thrive

• supports services, partners and schools by highlighting and joining up a wide range of elements which can positively impact outcomes for children and young people

All Surrey schools can access the Surrey online Healthy Schools Self-Evaluation Tool.

For more information visit: https://www.healthysurrey.org.uk/healthy-schools

Supporting pupils bereaved by COVID-19

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