SUNDAY Waiting to exhale! - The Times of...
Transcript of SUNDAY Waiting to exhale! - The Times of...
More about the appIt claims to determine,
through a series of 20
questions, whether or
not the survey-taker's
offspring is a homo-
sexual.These are:
� Does he like to
dress up nicely?
Does he pay close attention to his
outfits and brand names?
� Does he like football?
� Before he was born did you wish
he would be a girl?
� Has he ever gotten into or
participated in a fight?
� Does he read sports magazines?
� Does he have a best friend?
� Does he like team sports?
� Is he prudish/modest?
� Does he like diva singers?
� Does he spend a long time in the
bathroom?
� Does he have a tongue, nose or
ear piercing?
� Does he spend time getting
ready before being seen in public?
� Have you asked yourself
questions about your son's sexual
orientation?
� Are you divorced?
� Does he like musical comedies?
� Has he introduced you to a
girlfriend ever?
� Is the father (you) very strict or
authoritarian with his son?
� In your family is the father
absent?
� Was he shy as a child?
� Is he close to his father?
WITHIN days of
bringing baby num-
ber four into this
world, mom Victo-
ria Beckham was seen giving new-
born Harper Seven her introduc-
tory shopping experience, bal-
ancing both the baby and her dan-
gerously high heels with equal
ease. But that’s Posh, and you’d
expect no less from her. No trace
of flab, no just-had-baby bulge,
not any the worse for wear.
Model mums!Posh is not the only yummy
mummy out there. New-age new-
ly-minted moms these days are
knocking off the pounds and get-
ting back to their pre-pregnancy
figures before you can even say
‘hey baby’. Actors Malaika Arora,
Tara Sharma, Suzanne Roshan, J
Lo, just to name a few.
Motherhood is no longer about
making allowances for the ro-
tund shape in the belief that it
ties in with the new role, or re-
signing oneself to the fact that
from hereon the XL series takes
over. These days it’s a sprint from
the delivery room to the treadmill
for many mothers.
Says fit and fabulous first-time
mother Aparna Gupta, “I had
seen some women around me
letting go after they had their ba-
bies. I didn’t want to be that.I
didn’t want to look at my
wardrobe and sigh, ‘those were
the clothes I once wore’.”
Selfless, no moreWhat happened to notions that
motherhood was about selfless
love, and all that mattered was
how healthy and happy the new
arrival looked? When moth-
ers obsessing about their ap-
pearances would at worst be
called selfish and at best nar-
cissistic. Explaining this at-
titudinal shift, Dr Ajaya
Kashyap, senior cosmetic
consultant at the Fortis La
Femme Hospital, says,
“Even though the joy of
motherhood is unparalleled,
it does cause changes to
the body that can
leave some women
yearning for their
pre-pregnancy
figure. Unhappi-
ness with their
bodies can cause
them to feel con-
scious, thus, af-
fecting their behaviour, so-
cial engagements and emo-
tional wellbeing.”
The drill!Another gorgeous mom, actor
Tara Sharma, insists that getting
back to one's former glory after
delivery is not as tough as it
might seem. Tara, who’s pas-
sionate about fitness and inspir-
ing new mothers to take up fit-
ness-related activities, walks her
talk. “My secret to be-
ing back to being size
zero after my pregnan-
cies is a combination of
exercising, eating right,
breastfeeding, keeping
on my toes with potty
cleaning, diaper chang-
ing, playing with Zen
and Kai, and as my hus-
band says, the fact that
years of exercise have prob-
ably helped me have a fast
metabolism,” shares the
pretty actor on her blog.
Barely three days after her
first kid Zen was born and
the very next day follow-
ing her second son’s Kai’s
birth, Tara was back to
WHEN pop sensation Lady Gaga
paid tribute to our existence as
human beings accepting who we
are with her song Born This Way,
the lyrics found a connect with people who had
been mocked for being different.
Coming out of the closet and accepting
one’s sexuality is an important phase in a per-
son’s journey towards self-realisation. How-
ever, the process is not easy for the individual
or their loved ones. French developers
Emmene Moi (which translates in English as
Bring Me) aim to clear your doubts about your
offspring’s sexual orientation with a new app
called ‘Is my son gay?’
While gay and lesbian activists in the West
have slammed the app for its ‘stereotypical ques-
tions’, some have even asked Google to revoke
it. So, what do people back home think?
Is it an apt app?Sapna Desai, a working professional, says, “I
don’t know how I would react if my teenage
son came out and told me he was gay. It’s not
something I am ready for. However, I would
not use an app, because I don’t think it’s
something I would rely on. I
would prefer to discuss it
with him in person.
Does the app deliver?Ashok Row Kavi, a prominent
LGBT rights activist, says, “I
found the questions so silly
and stereotypical as to be
laughable. However, I know
what might happen with ap-
prehensive mothers — they
might force their sons to go for psychiatric coun-
selling or worse ‘revulsion therapy’, which de-
pends on using shock treatment to cure homo-
sexuality. There are no ‘20 questions’ I’ve seen
or find possible to find out a man’s (or woman’s)
sexuality. It’s mostly a journey of self-discovery,
and the best way to deal with that is for mothers
to sit down and talk sensitively to their children.
One way is to ask him whether he would like to
talk about this life in general and take it through
several episodes called ‘life-stories’. It may not be
about sexuality at all. So why worry till he brings
up the subject?”
Vikram Doctor of Gay Bombay, says it cre-
ates safe spaces for gays, and adds, “I think the
application should be ignored. I doubt people
would use an app in the first place to find
out their son’s sexuality. You may be curi-
ous about your child’s sexual orientation,
but you have to let them come to you and
open up about it. All you can do is be sup-
portive and let them know that you won’t
shun them for their decision.”
ExpertspeakDr Kurien S Thomas, clinical psychologist and
psychotherapist, says, “I do not think the giv-
en parameters are enough to label a guy as
‘gay’. Going by recent trends, we see that many
guys like to look a bit feminine. Guys today ap-
ply make up, bleach their face, wax their body,
etc. Does it mean that a guy who does all this
should be labelled as ‘gay’? Parents and friends
must refrain from using such tests. ”
Clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany,
adds, “ I’m completely against such applica-
tions as they are misleading. These traits can
also be in a heterosexual per-
son. And some of these traits
do change over a period of
time. We have had cases
where parents have under-
gone depression because they
had wrong information on
several topics. The right way of
testing the sexual orientation
is taking a proper clinical in-
terview with a person, who
seems confused.”� TIMES NEWS NETWORK
brisk walking every morning.
Having had a C-section deliv-
ery, Aparna’s regimen was a lit-
tle different regimen. “I started
with simple exercises and walks.
I had the typical maalishwalimassages for three months
post delivery. This helped
tone my sagging mus-
cles. For tummy fat, I
think nothing
works better than
crunches/yoga.
To prevent
stretch marks, I ap-
plied Clarins anti-
stretch mark cream + oil
from the second trimester and
made sure I didn’t scratch my
tummy.”
Sculpted shapes!Not all new mothers, how-
ever, take the long, hard
route to the gym. Many prefer
the easier, if more expensive,
option of going under the
knife. Says Dr Rashmi Taneja,
senior consultant, plastic & re-
constructive cosmetic surgery,
Fortis Group of Hospitals, “ Avail-
ability of medically approved, safe
aesthetic procedures has
made it easier for
women to achieve their
pre-pregnancy body
shapes.”
But do surgical inter-
ventions sustain in the
long run? “If one fol-
lows the post-oper-
ative advice
carefully, im-
plants can
last very
l o n g .
However,
post certain
procedures like
liposuction, a per-
son has to main-
tain a healthy lifestyle
to ensure sustainable
results. In any pro-
cedure, it is impor-
tant to follow the
doctor’s post-operative instruc-
tions,” says Dr Rashmi.
The main concern areas
women have post pregnancy, says
Dr Ajaya, are related to the tum-
my and breasts. “Excess skin and
fat deposits near the tummy and
loss of volume and shape of the
breasts are common complaints.
These can be rectified through
cosmetic procedures like tummy
tucks liposuction and breast aug-
mentation. Usually, women
should give their bodies about six
months to a year after their deliv-
ery before going in for cosmetic
surgery, provided they are not
breastfeeding.”
Their little bundles of joy will
always be the centre of attention,
but these yummy mummies too
are revelling in the admiring
glances coming their way and
even loving the tinge of green in
the eyes of those who… umm…
don’t quite measure up.
� You can hit the gym in less than 20
days after delivery, though you need
to take permission from your gynaec.� A 45-minute routine should be good
to get started.� Do not go on a low-cal diet while
nursing the baby.� Even during pregnancy, while the
first three months are a no-no for
workouts, from the second trimester
you can hit the treadmill and continue
with it right to the end.� Core strengthening exercises for the
abdominal and back muscles are
important.� Do normal workouts, crunches,
cobra position, Swiss ball, treadmill
and elliptical trainers, but go easy
with it.� Get a fitness assessment done before
enrolling in a gym or deciding to work out.� Finally, place your favourite pair of
jeans that you used to live in before
pregnancy on a hanger, and use that
to motivate you.
Inputs from Leena Mogre,
director Leena Mogre’s Fitness
Getting fit
SUNDAY | OCTOBER 9 ,2011 3
‘Is my son gay?’A new Android app promises to help parents answer this
question in seconds. Melissa D’costa gauges its acceptability
New Age moms can’t wait to get back into shape the minute they’re done
delivering the baby. Purba Dutt tracks the trend
Tara Sharma
� TIMES NEWS NETWORK
MalaikaArora Khan
“AVAILABILITY
OF SAFE AESTHETIC
PROCEDURES HAS
MADE IT EASIER
FOR WOMEN TO ACHIEVE
PRE-PREGNANCY
SHAPES“— Dr Rashmi Taneja
Waiting to exhale!
Victoria Beckham
© C
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