Summer Holiday Script

8/13/2019 Summer Holiday Script

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Stage Adaptation by

Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan

Based on the film SUMMER HOLIDAY

Directed by Peter Yates Screenplay by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass

By special arrangement with Studio Canal

LIBRETTO / VOCAL BOOK

Josef Weinberger Limited12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJTel: +44 (0)20-7580 2827 Fax: +44 (0)20-7436 [email protected] www.josef-weinberger.com



Adaptation © Copyright 2004 by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan

Edition © Copyright 2004 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., LondonAll Rights Reserved

This edition published in 2004 by Josef Weinberger Limited

12 - 14 Mortimer StreetLondon

W1T 3JJ

Printed in England by Commercial Colour Press

Vocal Material and Band Parts forthis musical are available on hire only

Application for a licence to perform this musicalmust be made, before rehe rs ls commence , to:

JOSEF WEINBERGER LIMITED 12 - 14 Mortimer Street

London W1T 3JJt: +44 (0)20-7580 2827f: +44 (0)20-7436 9616

[email protected]



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Note s on Pe r fo rmanceBy Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan

I have an allergy to actor/musicians. I admire them, I can appreciate the economic need for them, butmy heart sinks as soon as I realise I’m about to watch a show that uses them. (It’s not as bad as the

other modern disease: the hidden band, they’re playing live but they’re in a soundproofed roomsomewhere, giving their all while we are denied the gritty, live experience and their work is delivered tous fully processed).

The reason I mention this is that in the 2003 production of Summer Holiday, the band was visible thewhole time - seated, standing, and in some cases squeezed into cubby holes in the ingenious set wallsdesigned by Paul Farnsworth. Drums excepted (although we tried - we couldn’t find a way to make thatwork), from the opening image, we set up the fact that the band were a part of it all, the brass, guitarsetc. and the whole cast introduced the convention that they are the show. They threw themselves aroundas they dissembled a mound of furniture and created the opening scene and beyond.

But I have to be honest, the other reason to have them around was that our Europe was vastly under-populated - we needed the bodies. If this is not possible in your production then lose no sleep. Chancesare, you have a lot more bodies than us to create a sense of the European community in other ways.

The other good-natured rant is against “theatre that looks like film.” Of course, Summer Holiday isadapted from the 1963 film of the same name, but there is no point going to the theatre and expectinga production to be as smooth and seamless or as thrilling as a film. It should be theatre - exciting,surprising, and allow the use of the least developed sense in this technological world of ours - theimagination. A sheet can become a mountain, benches on a truck become the ground floor of a double

decker bus and a bunch of suitcases become a broken-down car.

My last point is - the bus. In 1996 we mistakenly went along with the idea that the bus has to be onstage. That was the brief - ‘we must have the bus’. And so the designer and director of that productiondelivered. A full-scale bus arrived on stage, got a round of applause, all seemed happy. Unfortunately, itthen sat there like a crimson monolith for the rest of the show dwarfing everything and contributingnothing other than a reminder that this was once a film. So, in 2003, we went for a kind of ‘essence ofbus’, a particularly pretentious way of saying ‘don’t spell it out, let the audience fill in the blanks.’ Isuggest you do the same.

PL YING STYLE Truth and simplicity. It’s an irony free world. These guys have no dark side - though they are notwithout their ups and downs, they are all relative. Nowadays, a bus journey like this would be fraughtwith tension and arguments, culminating in at least one person being punched and hitch hiking home intears. But in this world, a strangely dressed ‘boy’ is immediately accepted as part of the gang, and agroup of co-workers will happily give up seven days of free time just so some lads can nip off to Francefor two weeks.

Although they are collectively referred to as the ‘kids’, the characters are quite different. DON is the

easy-going alpha male, strong, handsome and dependable. STEVE thinks he’s all of the former, but thatdoesn’t necessarily mean he is. EDWIN is the youngest, obviously a sensitive soul who, if he took his



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glasses off, could play DON on weekday matinees. CYRIL is the cheeky chappy with hidden depths.ALMA is vague, quirky but innocent. MIMSIE is blonde, confident and mature. ANGIE is over-ambitiousbut has a heart of gold. Lastly, BARBARA is a sixties “Britney”, wise beyond her years.

The grown-ups, I think, are more clearly defined in the script. They are classic musical comedy grown-ups who clearly don’t understand the kids’ constant need to just have a good time and not worry aboutthe future, careers, money etc. JERRY does as he’s told, but actually holds a fair amount of power.

STELLA, despite her single-minded need to live through her daughter, does think she is doing it for allthe right reasons.

Sharply defined playing is the key to it, and above all, don’t hang about. It’s very lightweight stuff but,played snappily and truthfully, the audience should be happily carried along.

We live in a very cynical world, but what this show does remind us is that for a bunch of kids in theearly sixties, a trip abroad would be almost unthinkable, let alone affordable. It is, for them, a goldensummer, their halcyon days and above all, an unforgettable adventure.

BRIDESM IDS

There’s no underestimating the ‘ahh’ factor. We used four real kids for the bridesmaids and if you havea cute little one, she should produce the necessary ‘ahh’ in ‘L IVING D OLL ’ and beyond.

C STBRE KDOWN

This is how we broke it down in the touring version. If you have more cast members available you canshare out the smaller parts accordingly.

Late teens / early twenties:

MaleM1 EDWIN M2 CYRIL M3 STEVE M4 DON M5 GREASER /FELLA / FLOOR MANAGER / BEATNIK / JEAN D’ARM / COMMANDER /

BRIDEGROOM/ CUSTOMS MAN / WRIGHTMORE

FemaleF1 SCHOOLGIRL / FELLA / ANGIE F2 YOUNG LADY / FELLA / MIMSIE F3 YOUNG MUM / FELLA / ALMA F4 BARBARA / SANDRA F5 SCHOOLGIRL / FELLA / JOGGER / WARDROBE LADY / BEATNIK / WPC / GUARD /

BRIDE / PR GIRL

Mid Forties and up:

F6 OAP / STELLA M6 OAP / JERRY



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Other parts:

WILF was played by our Musical Director.

The non-speaking role of ‘STRANGE LOOKING GIRL’ in the Paris Nightclub was gamely played byCharles – the ASM.

The BRIDEMAIDS were played by four local children. If you have more kids available and lots of extrabodies then by all means fill up that wedding party.

The Wedding Band, Alpine Cafe Band, Paris Nightclub Band were, not surprisingly, played by theband.

RECOMMENDED V IEWING THE YOUNG O NES , SUMMER HOLID Y and W ONDERFUL L IF E. I would also seek out the Elvis filmV IV L SV EG S for Ann Margaret in ‘What’d I Say ,’ Jean-Luc Godard’s B NDE À P RT for the ‘I

Could Easily Fall In Love With You’ dance sequence.

TH NKS…

…to all who have been involved both directly and indirectly over the years but more specifically to:Keith Strachan, Kevin Oliver Jones, Myers and Cass on whose screenplay the show is based, TheShadows (Brian Bennett, Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch etc.) and, of course, Sir Cliff Richard, GillianGregory, Paul Farnsworth, Ross King, David Watson, Anita Land, Christopher Biggins, AimiMacdonald and the cast and crew of both the original 1996 versions and the 2003 version. The

Theatre Royal, Plymouth, all at Richard Temple Productions, Bill Kenwright, David Pugh and DafyddRogers, Ron Halpern at Studio Canal, Catherine Anderson, Gavin Plumley and Patricia Macnaughton.

Lastly, a huge thanks to both the Haddigan and Gyngell families for their love and patience.

Michael Gyngell and Mark Hadd iganLondonSeptember 2004

In s t rumenta t ion Tenor Saxophone dbl. Flute & Clarinet Electric Guitar dbl. Tenor SaxTrumpet dbl. Keyboard Electric BassPiano / Keyboard dbl. Acoustic Guitar & Tenor Sax (MD) Drums

NOTE: The instrumental parts for this show are intended to be played by actor-musicians and containsome unusual doublings. If it is not possible to find musicians able to double the extra Tenor

Saxophone parts, a book containing these parts only (for use by an extra player) is available on request.



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Scene s and Mus i c a l Number s

A C T O N E 1. Overture (Instrumental).............................................................................................................................. 1

SCENE ONE: A DINGY LONDON CAFÉ .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... 12. Foot Tapper (Is It Still Raining?) (Wilf, Edwin, Cyril, Steve, All) ...................................................13. Seven Days To A Holiday - Part 1 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin) .........................................................64. In The Country (Don, Boys) .....................................................................................................................7

SCENE TWO: SEVEN DAYS MONTAGE SEQUENCE .................... ................... ...................... .............95. Seven Days To A Holiday - Part 2 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Fellas) ............................................9

6. Summer Holiday (Don, Boys) .................. ..................... ...................... ................... ...................... .......... 11SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD IN FRANCE.................. ..................... ..................... ................... ......... 127. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 128. Gee Whizz, It’s You (Mimsie, Alma, Angie) .................... .................... ...................... ................... ..... 149. Let Us Take You For A Ride (Cyril, Edwin, Don, Steve, Angie, Alma, Mimsie) ...................... 16

SCENE FOUR: A TV STUDIO........ ..................... ................... .................... ..................... ...................... .......... 1810. Constantly (Barbara) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..................... ........ 1811. Constantly - Reprise (Instrumental with backing vocals only) ........................................................ 21

SCENE FIVE: PARIS NIGHTCLUB............. ................... ..................... ...................... .................. ................... 2112. Round And Round (Instrumental) ................... .................. ...................... ................... ..................... ..... 21 13. I Could Easily Fall In Love With You (Steve) ................... ....................... .................. ...................... . 2214. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 23

SCENE SIX: ON THE BUS......... ..................... ................... .................... ..................... ...................... ................. 2415. The Savage (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... ..................... .................. ................... 28

SCENE SEVEN: A ROADSIDE VERGE ....................................................................................................... 2816. Time Drags By (Steve, Cyril, Edwin).................................................................................................... 28

17. Les Girls (Instrumental) ................... ..................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ................... 33

SCENE EIGHT: THE SHOWER..................................................................................................................... 3318. Bachelor Boy (Don, Boys) .................... ..................... ..................... ..................... .................. ................... 3419. The Savage (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... ..................... .................. ................... 36

SCENE NINE: STELLA’S HOTEL SUITE ................... ..................... ...................... .................. ................... 3620. Les Girls / Valderee (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 39

SCENE TEN: SWITZERLAND........................ ..................... ..................... ...................... ...................... .......... 39

21. Dancing Shoes (Angie, Mimsie, Alma, Barbara, Boys) ...................................................................... 4022. We Say Yeah (Don) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..................... ........ 42



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A C T T W O SCENE ONE: AN ALPINE CAFÉ .................. ...................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 4423. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 4424. Move It (Edwin) .................. ..................... ..................... ...................... ...................... ..................... ........... 44

25. A Swinging Affair (Don, Barbara) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..... 4826. The Frightened City (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 49

SCENE TWO: THE ITALIAN BORDER..................................................................................................... 4927. Shindig (Instrumental) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 52

SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD .................................................................................................................. 52

SCENE FOUR (Part One): DRIVING TROUGH ITALY ....................................................................... 5328. I’ve Got A Funny Feeling (Edwin, Alma, Angie, Cyril, Mimsie, Steve) ......................................... 53

SCENE FOUR (Part Two): THE BRIDESMAIDS..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..... 5629. Living Doll (Barbara, Boys, Girls) ................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ...................... . 58

SCENE FIVE: THE WEDDING RECEPTION .................... .................... ...................... ................... ......... 6030. Lei Vuole Ballare (All) .................... .................. ..................... .................... .................... ..................... ..... 6031. Do You Wanna Dance? (All) ................... ..................... ...................... ................... ...................... .......... 6032. Sleepwalk (Instrumental) ..................... ..................... ..................... .................. ..................... ................... 6233. La La La Song (Stella, Jerry, All) .................... ...................... ..................... .................. ..................... ..... 6334. The Young Ones (Don, Barbara) ................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ...................... . 65

35. The Frightened City (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 67SCENE SIX: BARI – PORTSIDE ................... ................... ..................... ...................... .................. ................... 6736. Summer Holiday (Reprise) Ferry Version (The Kids) ..................................................................... 6937. The Savage / Zorba (Instrumental) .................. ..................... ...................... .................. ...................... . 70

SCENE SEVEN: ATHENS....... .................... ...................... .................. .................... ...................... .................... . 7038. The Next Time (Don, Barbara) ................... ..................... ..................... .................... ................... ......... 72

SCENE EIGHT: THE PRESS CONFERENCE ..................... ..................... ...................... .................. ......... 7339. Big News (Don, Company) .................... ..................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 74

SCENE NINE: ON THE BEACH.................... ..................... ..................... ................... ...................... .............. 7640. I’m The Lonely One (Angie, Mimsie, Alma) .................... .................... ...................... ................... ..... 76

BOWS SEQUENCE.................. ...................... ..................... ..................... .................. ...................... ..................... 7841. On The Beach (Don, Company) ..................... ..................... ..................... ................... ..................... ..... 7842. Summer Holiday (Reprise) (Company) .................. ..................... ..................... ..................... .............. 7943. Do You Wanna Dance? (Reprise) (Company) ................... ....................... .................. ...................... . 8044. Les Girls (Instrumental) ................... ..................... ..................... ...................... ..................... ................... 81



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Act One SUMMER HOLIDAY 1

ACT ONE

Music No. 1: OVERTU RE Music

(Instrumental)

The full company and the band are onstage. The opening chords of ‘M OVE I T ’ are playedincredibly loudly. As the cast begin to set up the first scene, grabbing bits and pieces fromaround the set, the band make their way to their positions.

As the overture builds to a climax W ILF , the owner of the café, ceremoniously turns theclosed sign to open and...

SCENE ONE: A DINGY LON DON CAFE

…the lights snap up on the scene - we segue into…

Music No. 2: FOOT TAPPER IS IT STILL RAINING ?)(Wilf , Edwin, Cyril, Steve, All)

A dingy London café. The punters start to stream in, some OAP’s, a couple of school kids,a young mum, maybe a greaser. It is all very grim and grey, possibly even monochrome.

N.B. As the song progresses these other punters’ movements become more stylised andrhythmical.E DWIN enters. He is a chirpy but over-knowledgeable young man who takes things very

seriously. As he unwraps himself and shakes the rain from of his broken umbrella. W ILF

observes him with amusement. The following number is semi-spoken (or half-sung,depending on how you look at it.)

W ILF : IS IT STILL RAINING?

EDWIN : NO, I’M JUST CONSTANTLY WETRUNS IN THE FAMILY

W ILF : YOU NEED A TRIP TO THE VETWhat can I get you?

EDWIN : THERE’S NO NEED FOR A THREATONE TEA AND TOAST, TWO SUGARS

Music continues underneath. E DWIN opens a small book and sits cheerfully.

EDWIN : It’s like a hurricane out there, Wilf.



SUMMER HOLIDAY Act One2

W ILF looks bemused.

EDWIN :

You know…? Lots of rain. Very windy.

W ILF gets it.

C YRIL runs past the window and bombs through the door. He is the same age as E DWIN though a thoroughly different temperament. He’s never stuck for an answer.

W ILF : IS IT STILL RAINING? CYRIL: NO, I’VE BEEN FOR A DIPIT’S ALL THE RAGE NOW

W ILF : THAT’S WHY YOU LOOK SUCH A DRIPWHAT CAN I GET YOU?

CYRIL: HOW ’BOUT AN EGG AND A CHIP?IF THAT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE

He jumps onto a chair next to E DWIN , who barely reacts. He flicks his damp hair ontoE DWIN ’s book. Music continues underneath.

CYRIL: Afternoon Professor. What you reading?

EDWIN : It’s a fifty year meteorological report for the London area.

CYRIL: Any good? Tea, three sugars, Wilf. Cheer up Edwin, we'll be on ourholiday in seven days.

EDWIN : Cyril. Be realistic. We cannot afford it.

A figure dashes in and furiously attempts to pull the door open. This is S TEVE . An ultrafashion-conscious lad-about-town. Bags of energy but nowhere to direct it. As he battleswith the door, getting wetter and wetter, W ILF comes round the counter and pulls the dooropen. S TEVE enters and looks around expectantly.

W ILF : IS IT STILL RAINING?

STEVE: NO, I’VE JUST WASHED MY HAIR

WHY AIN’T THAT DOOR FIXED?




W ILF : It is.

STEVE: (Looking in a mirror) AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A SQUARE I’m on a promise.

CYRIL: Who with? Yogi Bear?

EDWIN : Teeth like that…

CYRIL/EDWIN : MORE LIKE BUGS BUNNY

STEVE:

Frothy coffee Charlie, black, four sugars…Bugs Bunny!!

EDWIN : Glad you’re here Steve, we have a slight problem.

STEVE: I haven’t got any problems. I’m on my holiday in seven days. EDWIN : That’s just it. The holiday’s looking very ropey.

STEVE: Why?

EDWIN : Well, I’ve added up all our savings and - assuming we can hitch hikefree to the French Riviera, and taking into account present prices there,we get to stay for approximately three hours and fifteen minutes.

STEVE: (A beat) We’re still going though, yeah?

EDWIN/CYRIL: No!!!

W ILF : (Shouts) Tea’s up!

W ILF serves as in a western, sliding his coffees and teas along the counter to the music,interspersed with shouts of ‘Tea one sugar’, etc. The other punters move and dance around getting irritated with each other and, in the case of the OAP’s, quite unpleasant. The B OYS go through a ritual of who sits where on the bench.

A bar’s silence. Huge thunderclap. A young lady arrives and is about to tell them it’sraining.

ALL : WE KNOW, IT’S RAINING!




EDWIN : THAT’S WHY I'M CONSTANTLY WET

CYRIL: THINK I’LL GO FOR A DIP

STEVE: AND I’VE JUST WASHED MY HAIR E./C./S.: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

EDWIN : I NEED A TRIP TO THE VET

CYRIL: THAT’S WHY I LOOK SUCH A DRIP

STEVE: AND NOW I LOOK LIKE A SQUARE

E./C./S.: IT’S BLEEDIN’ RAINING

EDWIN : BUT IT IS NOT OVER YET

CYRIL: HOW ’BOUT TWO EGG AND TWO CHIP?

STEVE: MY QUIFF’LL GIVE ’EM A SCARE.

EDWIN : IF WE CAN JUST ARRANGE IT

CYRIL: IF THAT’S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE Together.

STEVE: I’M NOTHING LIKE BUGS BUNNY

By now all in the café have had enough.

ALL : BUT WE CAN NEVER CHANGE IT OR TRY TO REARRANGE ITIT LOOKS LIKE WE’LL BE STAYING HERE

Song ends.

CYRIL: I’m starving. Oi, Sandra! What’s the special?

SANDRA : Tomato Soup.

CYRIL: What’s special about that?




SANDRA : It’s green.

STEVE: Wait a second. All this ‘three hours on holiday.’ (To E DWIN ) It’s all awind up, isn’t it? Course we’re going. You had me going for a bit.

CYRIL: Is it? Is it a wind up?

STEVE: It is, isn’t it?

E DWIN tries to speak but they don’t let him. They are too excited.

CYRIL: So go on then Edwin, where are we really going? What part of the

French Riviera must we force ourselves to enjoy?

STEVE: I can’t wait to breeze down St Tropez High St. Just wait till those birdssee me in my shorts.

CYRIL: I’ll be laying on the beach. ‘Another caviar sandwich, Brigitte?’ ‘Half aChampagne shandy please, Jean Pierre.’ Where we going?

EDWIN : Clacton.

STEVE/CYRIL: Clacton!

STEVE: Are you telling me that I’ve worked for 344 days…

CYRIL: 342.

STEVE: Eh?

CYRIL: You were off with a gippy tummy.

STEVE: Oh, yeah. 342 days! - sweated and toiled, keeping London Transport’sfinest double deckers on the road. We have all, in fact, put up with thestresses and strains of being the best bus mechanics in the building andall so we can spend two weeks playing soggy Bingo on the beach?

EDWIN : Steve. I want a holiday just as much as you. But you and Cyril are going

to have to face it. It’s two weeks in Clacton!

STEVE: We can’t stay in Britain. Look at this weather!




Thunderclap.

STEVE: I’m getting webbed feet.

CYRIL: Listen - Don will know what to do. He always does. Where is he by theway? He’s late.

STEVE : I’m starting to develop gills.

EDWIN : Will you stop? He’s coming straight from the bus depot, said to waitfor him. He’s got a surprise.

STEVE: Who?

EDWIN/CYRIL: Don!

Music No. 3: SEVEN DAYS T O A H OLIDAY - Part One(Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin)

D ON enters full of energy and excitement, he is carrying a large box. A natural leader,

confident and charming.

DON : I’ve got it!

STEVE: Got what?

DON : GOT THIS BUS, LONDON TRANSPORT SAID OK

CYRIL: Ok?

EDWIN : Ok to what?

DON : OK TO USE A BUS FOR TRANSPORT ON OUR HOLIDAYThey’re with it.

STEVE: With what?

DON :

WITH THE PLAN I OUTLINED TO THEM TODAY

CYRIL: What plan?




EDWIN : That’s right, what plan?

DON :

IF WE CAN DO IT ONCE,THEY’LL BACK US ALL THE WAY I’ve got the answer to all our holiday problems.

Music continues underneath. He gets out a toy Red London Bus and lays it carefully on thetable. All in the café have gathered round, interested.

STEVE: Bit small, isn’t it?

DON :

Here’s the plan. We borrow an old bus from London Transport, we doit up and kit it out with all mod cons and travel to the South of Franceon it. If it works out, next year we might be able to charge people forthe trip. You know run it as a business? What do you think?

STEVE: Crazy, Charlie!

EDWIN : It’s a brilliant idea. When do we start?

DON : Tomorrow. We’ve got one week to do it in or the deal’s off.

CYRIL: We? As in “us”? As in “you and me and him and him to renovate abus”? In one week?

DON : Cyril... It’s easy when you got friends. We’ll get some of the fellas at thegarage to help us. So are we all in or not?

They lock hands, á la 3 Musketeers.

DON : Gentlemen, I give you - the holiday of a lifetime!

As they burst out of this position…

Music No. 4: IN THE CO UNT RY(Don, Boys)

DON : WHEN THE WORLD IN WHICH YOU’RE LIVINGGETS A BIT TOO MUCH TO BEAR,AND YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LEAN ONWHEN YOU LOOK THERE’S NO-ONE THERE




YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,OUT IN THE COUNTRY

YEAH, YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY

DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINE

DON : IN THE COUNTRY,

DON

/BOYS

: IN THE COUNTRY

They start to move out of the cafe as the cafe set is taken offstage. The door ends up in thecentre of the stage. D ON leads everyone through the doors into the ‘open air’.

DON : IF YOU’RE WALKING IN THE CITYAND YOU’RE FEELING RATHER SMALLAND THE PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALKSEEM TO FORM A SOLID WALL

YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,OUT IN THE COUNTRYYEAH, YOU’RE GONNA FIND ME,WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY

DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINEIN THE COUNTRY, IN THE COUNTRY

DON : HURRY, HURRY, HURRY FOR THE TIME IS SLIPPING BYYOU DON'T NEED A TICKET, IT BELONGS TO YOU AND ICOME ON AND JOIN ME,HEY, OUT IN THE COUNTRY

The cast remove their drab clothing to reveal a brighter shinier kind of clothingunderneath. Just a small glimpse of the fun and colour that is to come.

DON/BOYS: WHERE THE AIR IS GOOD AND THE DAY IS FINEAND A PRETTY GIRL HAS HER HAND IN MINEAND THE SILVER STREAM IS A POOR MAN’S WINE




DON : IN THE COUNTRY,

DON/BOYS: IN THE COUNTRY

The B OYS and cast disperse, leaving the OAP’s dancing happily till they realise they arealone. Embarrassed, they revert to their normal grumpy selves and exit.

SCENE TWO: SEVEN DAYS MON TAGE SEQUENCE

D ON and the B OYS are facing a small group of London Transport mechanics.

Music No. 5: SEVEN DAYS T O A H OLIDAY - Part Two(Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Fellas)

DON : ...And that’s about it, fellas. If we can make it work then it’s jobs for theboys next year, but for this year it’s one whole week’s unpaid overtime.We need your help. The clock’s already running. We’ve got just…

SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND THERE’S SUCH A LOT TO DO

COME ON FELLAS, IT’S UP TO YOUWE’RE IN AN AWFUL STEWGET US OUT OF A SPOT,ARE YOU WITH US OR NOT?

The ‘fellas’ cheer their support immediately. The B OYS rejoice and the lights fade on themas the music builds. (Throughout the sequence everyone onstage bring on bits and pieces ofthe bus and appear to assemble it.) E DWIN daydreams.

EDWIN : SIX DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND I CAN’T BELIEVE IT'S TRUEOF COURSE I’M NERVOUS, I’LL MISS MY MUMAND CROSSING THE CHANNEL TO FRANCEIS AVERY BIG STEPI THINK I’LL PHONE FROM DIEPPE

Activity is all around D ON as the mechanics fix up the bus.

DON : FIVE MORE DAYS, JUST FIVE MORE DAYSTO FIX UP DOZENS OF THINGS.

OTHERS: LET’S SPRING CLEAN IT FROM FRONT TO REAR




M ARJORIE: YES, I’LL CLEAN ALL THE SPRINGS

Lights down on D ON and up on C YRIL .

CYRIL: FOUR DAYS TO A HOLIDAY AND YOU KNOW I JUST CAN’T WAITTO LOUNGE AROUND ON A SUNNY BEACHTO DIP IN THE BRINY,GET ALL NICE AND SHINY AND TANIT’S ALL YOU CAN DO AT CANNES

DON : THREE DAYS TO A HOLIDAYAND THOUGH SUNNY SKIES ARE BLUE,BY THE TIME THAT IT LEAVES OUR SHEDOUR BUS WILL BE BRIGHT REDAND WE KNOW THAT WE WILL…

M ALCOLM : Paint Paree redder still.

STEVE: TWO DAYS TO A HOLIDAY

ST. TROPEZ’S THE PLACE TO BEIT’S FULL OF FILM STARS, AMAZING BIRDSPERHAPS I’LL BE PICKED FROM THE CROWDTO APPEAR IN A FLICKWITH A GORGEOUS FRENCH CHICK

DON : ONE MORE DAY, JUST ONE MORE DAYSO WE MUST NOT WASTE AN HOURCOME ON, LET’S GET THE PLUMBING INGOR BLIMEY, WHAT A SHOWER!

The B OYS have joined D ON now as they put the finishing touches to the bus.

ALL : OFF WE GO ON OUR HOLIDAY(To workers)THANKS TO YOU OUR PLAN CAME THROUGHWE’LL ESCAPE FROM THE WIND AND HAILPERHAPS THERE’S A FAIRY TALETHAT’S ABOUT TO APPEARNOW OUR HOLIDAY’S HERE,

The bus pieces finally come together to reveal the front of the bus.




ALL : NOW OUR HOLIDAY’S HERE

We hear a ‘ding, ding’ of the conductors bell.

Music No. 6: SUM MER H OLIDAY(Don, Boys)

The B OYS wave and shout their thanks to the fellas as they appear to move off. They sitback and relax, enjoying the start of their first holiday abroad. The road appears to bemoving underneath them.

They are all very excited, looking out front to the horizon. As the song progresses variouslocals pass by, moving upstage, and signs around the set flag up the first stages of their journey.

DON : WE’RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYNO MORE WORKING FOR A WEEK OR TWOFUN AND LAUGHTER ON OUR SUMMER HOLIDAYNO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,FOR A WEEK OR TWO

WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUEWE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT'S TRUE

EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYTO MAKE OUR DREAM COME TRUE,FOR ME AND YOU

WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUEWE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT’S TRUE

They begin to pass a French jogger who tries to race the bus and fails.

EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY




NO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,TO MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE

FOR A WEEK OR TWOFOR ME AND YOU

FOR ME AND YOU

SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD IN FRANCE

M usic No. 7: SHIN DIG Underscore)

(Instrumental)

Lights up on a medium sized model bus making its way across the stage - it disappearsoffstage only to reappear in a smaller version further upstage.

The bus passes three girls who are sitting in a battered old Mini. They are: ALMA a young,vacant looking, but ultimately aware cookie. She is checking a map. M IMSIE blonde andfeisty. And ANGIE , a hyper-enthusiastic girl who takes things very literally. ANGIE isdriving, or rather trying to start the car. After a few goes…

ANGIE: Come on Shandy, don’t give up. Come on girl…

M IMSIE: I think, Angie, you will find that Shandy is knackered.

ANGIE: Well that’s it, then we’re completely macarooned.

M IMSIE: Don’t you mean marooned, Angie?

ANGIE: I know what I mean. (Beat) Anyway, marooned means you’ve gonepurple.

M IMSIE: Whatever it is, we’re stuck.

ALMA : Why don’t we get the bus?

M IMSIE: Bus? Bus? We’re in the middle of the back of beyond. There is no bus.

ALMA : Then what’s that parked over there?

They look.

M IMSIE: It’s a bus.




ANGIE: And a London bus at that.

ALMA : They might be English.

M IMSIE and ANGIE shoot her a look.

M IMSIE: Do you think? Ooh, there’s some boys!

ANGIE: They’re coming over.

The B OYS enter.

STEVE: Eye eye. Young ladies at ten o’clock.

CYRIL: Blimey! These foreign girls are gorgeous, aren’t they?

EDWIN : Look like their car’s packed in. Shall we help them?

STEVE: Of course, but let me do the talking, ok?

EDWIN : But you don’t speak French.

STEVE: I don’t need to. I specialise in body language.

CYRIL: With your body we’ve got no chance.

S TEVE , C YRIL and E DWIN saunter over.

STEVE: Bonjour. Bonjour. Probleme? Je suis en Steve. Plus Cyril et Edwin…Don il est…brushing his hair… Balham… Habite Balham. Et vous?

M IMSIE: We’re from London.

STEVE: Oh really? What part?… (He realises.) Hey! You’re English!

M IMSIE: Hey! You’re stupid.

STEVE: (Trying to regain composure) Well…yeah but I can learn, you’ll alwaysbe English.

D ON arrives.




DON : Hi. What’s the problem ladies. Can I help?

ANGIE: Well you can certainly help me.

DON : Oh dear… looks like this car has had it, I’m afraid. Come on, we’ll towyou to a garage.

ALMA : Oh, no. We’ve got to get to an engagement in six days. Now we’re nevergonna make it.

EDWIN : An engagement? Are you getting married?

ALMA : No, we’re a singing group. Professionals.

EDWIN : Great name.

ANGIE: No, no, no. We're called Do - Re - Mi. (To M IMSIE ) Get the tape.We’ll show you. Hit it, girls!

Music No. 8: GEE W HIZZ, IT’S YOU(Mimsie, Alma, Angie)

M IMSIE switches on their reel-to-reel tape recorder. After grabbing their microphones, theybreak into their act. Crackly FX.

WELL, WHO’S THAT A-WALKING DOWN THE STREETPICKING UP THOSE DINKY LITTLE FEET?WHO’S THE ONE THAT CATCHES MY EYEEVERY TIME HE PASSES BY?

GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU

In a perfect world they’d be fantastic, but their act is no more than competent. Very“fifties” and innocent, thrown together by themselves. Very charming though. The B OYS are enjoying it.

EVER SINCE WE SAID GOODBYEALL BECAUSE OF A LITTLE WHITE LIELET ME TELL YOU WHY WE PARTED

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT MY HEART SAIDGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUYOU’RE THE ONE THAT MAKES ME BLUEGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU




YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CAN’T BE TRUE

ANGIE tries out some of her audience chat.

ANGIE: Good evening…

ALMA : Good afternoon!

ANGIE: … afternoon Ladies and gentlemen. We’d like to welcome you to…name of club . My name is Angie and this is…

ALMA

: Alma!

ANGIE: And this is…

M IMSIE: Mimsie!

ALL : And together we are, DO, RE, MI…5,6,7,8…

LITTLE DARLING,WON’T YOU HEAR MY PLEAWON’T YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO MEWE CAN PICK UP WHERE WE STARTEDLISTEN NOW TO WHAT MY HEART SAIDMMM, GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUGEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOUTA-DA!…

The B OYS are speechless, apart from C YRIL .

CYRIL: They are brilliant.

DON : Gentlemen, I think it’s time for a conference. (They huddle downstage,leaving the girls eyeing them suspiciously.) Well, what do you think?

STEVE: The blonde one wants me.

EDWIN : We’ve got to help them Don. Their car is ruined.

CYRIL: Yes. We are gentleman. It’s the right thing to do.




DON : Well let’s vote on it. Those in favour? (They give the thumbs up.)Those against? (None.) Then it’s agreed (They return to the ladies.)

Cyril you tell ’em.

CYRIL: Look, ladies, we’ve talked it over and in view of the fact that your car ispractically a write-off…

ANGIE: A write-off? Shandy is fine and besides, how can you tell from there?We can sort it ourselves, come on girls…

There is a loud bang - they all turn to see smoke coming out of ANGIE ' S car.

ANGIE: Shandy!!

A pause. S TEVE looks at M IMSIE .

STEVE: She likes a drink, does she?

M IMSIE: No, no. Shandy was the name of her car.

CYRIL: Ladies, I am an expert. Please, allow me…

He inspects the car.

Music No. 9: LET US TAK E YOU FO R A RIDE(Cyril, Edwin, Steve, Don, Angie, Alma, Mimsie)

CYRIL: THE BUSH UPON THE ROTOR PUMPIS PUSHED INTO THE FLOATER SUMP

IT’S WEARING OUT THE GRUNNION TEETHBY BEARING ON THE COG BENEATH

EDWIN : WHICH MEANS IN TERMS OF TENSION SWINGSTHE SEAMS OF YOUR SUSPENSION SPRINGSIN CYCLIC THIRDS ARE SET APART

DON : IN VERY SIMPLE WORDS, DEAR LADIES,YOUR CAR WON'T START

BOYS : SO WE’RE MAKING THIS OFFER,COME RIDE WITH US, COME RIDE WITH US




THROUGH THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH USFOR OUR BUS HAS EVERY COMFORT INSIDE

WE ARE PLEADING PLEASELET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE

After some playful to-ing and fro-ing and some failed attempts to start the car, the G IRLS have a quick conference as music continues.

ANGIE: Girls? (They gather round) Well as far as I can see it we’ve got twochoices. We either take a fast, clinical train to Athens or we take arickety old bus to Athens. All those in favour of the train? (ALMA puts

her hand up, M IMSIE pulls it down.) All those in favour of the bus.(Hands straight up. Except ALMA , who slowly complies.) Then lets doit. (Back to the boys) Ok boys, you’re on!!

As the girls start to sing, they gradually start to dismantle the car. (The car is made up oftheir suitcases.)

G IRLS : YOU KNOW WE WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED,THAT GASKET HOOD LOOKS PULVERISED

THE SHOCK RECOIL IS NOW REVERSEDWE’LL NEED OUR ROLL-TIN REIMBURSEDCOMPRESSION SEEP WILL SOON DISTENDTHE LEAK THAT LEAKS IN OUR BIG END

+ BOYS: THE LOUSY COKE HAS GOT A HITCHAROUND THE CHOKE ADJUSTMENT SWITCHTHE PISTON SPOUT IS DYNAMITEAND CUTTING OUT THE PARKING LIGHT

AND, FROM ITS SHAKE, YOUR OUTSIDE BRAKEIS NEEDING A NEW DRUM!

ALL : IN FACT, MAKE NO MISTAKEWE’VE REALLY HAD IT CHUM

SO RIDE WITH US, COME RIDE WITH USYOU’LL BE SATISFIED WITH USPAST THE FOREST AND THE RIVERSIDETAKE A TOUR WITH US THAT’S REALLY NATIONWIDE

BOYS : FOR AS GUIDES WE’RE REALLY QUALIFIEDYOU WILL BE COMPLETELY SATISFIED




FOR WHEN YOU HAVE TRIEDYOU WILL SAY WIDE-EYED

ALL : WE ARE JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR SPECIFIEDWE’RE REPEATING, PLEASE LET US TAKE YOUFOR A RIDE WITH US, RIDE WITH USPLEASE LET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE

And as they begin to go off with the bags, the music plays out.

ANGIE: This is ever so nice of you boys.

CYRIL: Don’t worry, we were on way to the South of France anyway.

ANGIE: You mean Athens.

CYRIL: Sorry, Athens…

Double take.

BOYS :

Athens!

They drop the cases. Blackout.

SCENE FOUR: A TV STUDIO

Music No. 10: CON STANT LY(Barbara)

As the intro to the song plays, silhouetted in a doorway is a young woman. Though glamorous and gorgeous, she is dressed slightly older than her years.

ANNOUNCER V/O: Mesdames et Messieurs. Miss Barbara…Winters.

This is B ARBARA W INTERS , she is nineteen, possibly twenty. Having spent most of her lifein show business, she knows how to do this - sell a song and light up the stage.

BARBARA : ALL DAY I’M WALKING IN A DREAM

I THINK ABOUT YOU CONSTANTLY JUST LIKE AN EVER FLOWING STREAMYOUR MEMORY HAUNTS ME CONSTANTLYSHADOWS FALL AND I TRY




TO DRIVE YOU FROM MY MINDSO YOU’RE NO LONGER NEAR TO ME

BUT MY HEART SEES YOU THERE WITH MEEVERY SUNSET YOU SHARE WITH METHE RAIN THAT PATTERS THROUGH THE TREESREMINDS ME OF YOU CONSTANTLYYOUR NAME IS WHISPERED BY THE BREEZEAND LOVEBIRDS BRING YOUR SONG TO ME

JUST AS SURE AS THE STARSKEEP BURNING IN THE SKY

YOUR LOVE WILL STAY AFLAME IN MEA FLAME THAT BURNS SO BRIGHT,NOT ONLY THROUGH THE NIGHTBUT CONSTANTLY

JUST AS SURE AS THE STARSKEEP BURNING IN THE SKYYOUR LOVE WILL STAY AFLAME IN MEA FLAME THAT BURNS SO BRIGHT,NOT ONLY THROUGH THE NIGHTBUT CONSTANTLY

THOUGH WE MAY BE FAR APARTYOU’RE CONSTANTLYDEEP IN MY HEART

Suddenly from the back of the stalls we hear…

STELLA: No! No! Let’s do it again!!!

A loud woman thunders down the aisle.

STELLA: Barbara, what the heck is the matter with you?

The floor manager comes out, annoyed with the interruption as he talks on his headphonesto the director in the gallery. As the M AKE U P L ADY fusses around B ARBARA , a dress railfull of assorted clothes is also placed on the side of the stage.

The woman has arrived at the front of stage. This is S TELLA , B ARBARA’s mother. A womanof a certain age, a fighter who is always ready to defend her little girl, she makes EthelMerman look like a play school teacher. A quick wit, a sharp tongue and a dress sense like




Joan Collins in a blender. Tagging supportively behind is a middle-aged mouse of a man.This is J ERRY , B ARBARA’s business manager. He has penchant for loud blazers and wears

an obvious cheap hairpiece.

STELLA: What’s going on?

BARBARA : I don’t know mother. You stopped it.

STELLA: Where’s the passion? You have to believe this is the love of your life,you looked like you were making a shopping list.

BARBARA : How can I believe this person is the love of my life? I’ve never been inlove and I’ve certainly never had a life.

STELLA: Don’t get smart, young lady.

JERRY : Stella…

STELLA: Not now, Jerry. We only have twelve minutes before this goes out live.We’ll talk about it back at the hotel. (To the gallery) She’s going to be

fine, uh… tres bien! Go from the middle. (To the musicians) From themiddle! Allez.

BARBARA : I’m not doing it.

STELLA: Now come on, Barbara, we need this show! This is prime time.

BARBARA : I don’t know what I’m singing about.

STELLA: Now you need to know? Love. It’s what makes the world go round.That and money.

BARBARA : How can I sing about something I’ve never done?

STELLA: If that’s the case, tell Sinatra not to sing ‘Fly Me To The Moon’ , tellElvis not to sing ‘Jailhouse Rock’ … you-make-it-up!

BARBARA : You don’t understand.




STELLA: That’s right, I don’t. Nobody does but you. (J ERRY gestures for her tocalm down. She does so.) Look… just do the show tonight. Then we’ll

have a break, a little holiday, just the two of us.

BARBARA : What about Jerry?

STELLA: Oh yeah - him too, but he doesn’t count as a person, he’s an agent. Ipromise you, you’ll have time to live after you’ve had a lifelong career.Ok, sugar?

STELLA: Ok… from the middle of the bridge!!

She starts to leave down the aisle. The music starts.

Music No. 11: CON STANT LY Reprise)(Instrumental with Backing Vocals only)

STELLA: Jerry! Get Hedda Hopper on the phone. We need press coverage!

JERRY : I keep trying - she’s incommunicado.

STELLA: I don’t care where she is, I want to speak to her…

As the music swells B ARBARA refuses to sing, then she notices the clothes rail and has anidea. Quickly she grabs some clothes - jeans, a jacket and a baseball hat - and rushes off.

SCENE FIVE: PARIS NIGHTCLU B

Music No. 12: ROUND AN D RO UND

(Instrumental)

The guys arrive at a nightclub - they are feeling a bit intimidated. A small group of localbeatniks is dancing very formally to the music played by the onstage band. The kids stay atthe sides and watch. Music plays underneath the following…

STEVE: Who wants a drink? (To M IMSIE ) Charlie?

M IMSIE: My name’s Mimsie and I’m fine, thank you.

STEVE: I can see you’re fine. I just want to know if you’re thirsty, that’s all.




EDWIN : It’s Alma, isn’t it?

ALMA : That’s right, and you’re Edward?

EDWIN : Win, actually. Edwin.

ANGIE: I’m Angie, by the way. We haven’t been formally introduced.

CYRIL: Sorry, my fault.

ANGIE: No, no, it’s fine. Do you dance?

CYRIL: Oh, no…

ANGIE: Just asking.

CYRIL: Oh, no… I mean I’ll dance with you. I thought you meant… oh, nevermind.

‘ROUND AND ROUND ’ ends. Some faint applause from everyone.

Music No. 13: I COULD EASILY…(Steve)

STEVE: Oh I love this one! Do you wanna dance?

M IMSIE: Yes.

She goes and dances, leaving him standing. A kind of Gallic line dance is taking place. Oneby one, they join and pick up the steps. S TEVE grabs M IMSIE and tries to charm her.

STEVE: DON’T EVER CHANGE THAT SMILEYOU’RE SMILING NOW,AND PLEASE DON’T LET ME SEE YOU BLUETHEN I CAN TELL YOU I COULD EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

She’s so not interested, but he doesn’t give up.

IF YOU SHOULD TELL ME THAT I’LL ALWAYS BETHE ONE YOU’LL ALWAYS LOVE SO TRUE




THEN I CAN TELL YOU OH SO EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

She’s not interested, so S TEVE rushes back up to try ALMA.

I’VE BEEN TOO LONG ON MY OWNSOME NOW,I’VE BEEN TOO LONG BY MYSELFI COULDN’T FEEL MORE LONESOME NOW,IF I WAS LEFT ON THE SHELF

He moves on to ANGIE .

IT WASN’T LONG AGO I SAW YOU THERE.BUT EVEN THEN I THOUGHT I KNEW,THAT GIVEN HALF A CHANCE I’D EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

I’VE BEEN TOO LONG ON MY OWNSOME NOW,I’VE BEEN TOO LONG BY MYSELFI COULDN’T FEEL MORE LONESOME NOW,IF I WAS LEFT ON THE SHELF

No luck. So finally to the strange looking girl who’s definitely on her own.

DON’T EVER CHANGE THAT SMILEYOU’RE SMILING NOW.AND PLEASE DON’T LET ME SEE YOU BLUETHEN I CAN TELL YOU OH SO EASILY,I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUI COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

S TEVE makes a grab for her - she seems interested. She turns around - it is obvious thatthe girl is a boy. S TEVE is terrified.

STEVE: Come on guys… we’ve got to go… !

Music No. 14: SHINDIG(Instrumental)

If they are able to, the band should move forward, “à la Shadows”, during the followingscene change. In the original production, five small trucks which slotted together (withappropriate bus furniture on them) formed the lower floor of the double decker.




SCENE SIX: ON T HE BUS

They are back at the bus. C YRIL is a little worse for drink. D ON is driving. Some of themare still dancing. The music continues under the following…

CYRIL: Are we back yet?

STEVE: Well we’re back, I don't know about you.

CYRIL: Tha’s good, lovely. Where are we back to?

ALMA is exhausted. She lies down.

ALMA : Goodnight everyone.

ANGIE: Alma, what are you doing? You can’t go to sleep there.

EDWIN : Yeah, Alma don’t kip there - we’ve decided that you girls should takethe upstairs bunks and we’ll be down here.

STEVE: When did we do that?

M IMSIE: (To E DWIN ) Oh, isn’t he sweet?

ALMA : (She slowly makes her way upstairs) Goodnight everyone.

DON : …Cyril, we’re on the bus.

CYRIL: Oh, right. I’ll have a single to Streatham, please.

ANGIE: Tea? Coffee?

DON : I think a black coffee for Cyril. What were you guys up to in that place?

STEVE: Oh you should have been there, Charlie. It was a scream.

ALMA screams. D ON stops the bus. Music stops. ALMA runs back in, terrified.

ANGIE: Whatever’s the matter, Alma?

ALMA : …There’s something out there.




DON : Lads. Come on. Grab a weapon and follow me.

S TEVE grabs a potato masher, E DWIN a rolled up newspaper and C YRIL a large spoon.They creep to the edge of the curtain. The G IRLS are cowering behind a bench.

ALMA : Be careful, boys.

ANGIE: Yes, don’t do anything rash.

Preparing for the worst, D ON dramatically pulls back the curtain. They are disappointed todiscover B ARBARA , although B ARBARA dressed as a fourteen year old boy in her baseball

hat and jeans.

STEVE: Oi mate, what do you think you’re doing in there?

DON : What do you know, our first stowaway.

They pull her in.

ALMA : What’s happening?

CYRIL: We’ve found a French midget.

ANGIE: What?

The G IRLS rush out. The following dialogue overlaps chaotically.

ANGIE: It’s a boy. Aaah.

M IMSIE: Oh, bless him.

ALMA : Can’t he talk?

EDWIN : He can’t understand you, he must be a native.

STEVE: Are you lost Charlie? Et vous lost?

ANGIE: Are you hungry? Eh? Mange? (She nods.) Wait there a second…

She dashes to find some food…




DON : Are you English?

EDWIN : French?

STEVE: Stupid?

ANGIE: What shall we give him to eat?

BARBARA : I’m American.

DON : Oh, right. How old are you?

BARBARA : (She doesn’t want to say, so makes it up.) Fourteen.

EDWIN : Why did you break into our bus? Are you running away?

BARBARA : I’m sorry about that. I’m trying to catch up with my family.

DON : Where are they?

M IMSIE: I hope it’s Athens.

BARBARA : …Athens.

M IMSIE: (Quietly) Hooray!

Angie is back and gives ‘him’ a tin of cold beans and a spoon. ‘He’ is grateful.

BARBARA : Thanks.

ANGIE: That’s ok.

DON : Guys, I think we’d better check the tyres, eh?

He gestures discreetly and they follow him out of the bus.

ANGIE: (As if he is deaf.) Where - are - you - from?

M IMSIE: Angie, he’s American, not deaf…

STEVE: What do you reckon, Don?




DON : Well we can’t leave him here, that’s a certainty.

STEVE: Maybe we should drop him off at the next Police Station.

EDWIN : No - if we do that we’ll get caught up in loads of red tape which willput us back a few days. Don’t forget, we’ve still got Switzerland, Italy,and a ferry to Greece to get through in only four days. Not that I’mcounting.

DON : So, do we take him? (They all show thumbs up) Then let’s do it.

STEVE: Crazy.

They nip back in.

DON : Well it looks as if you’ve got yourself a ride. Uh…actually, we don’tknow your name, what is it?

BARBARA : Bah… Bah… Bobby.

DON : Well, Bobby. Welcome on board. I’m Don and this is… everyone else.(They all say hello together) Well, I guess we’d better turn in, everyone.It’s an early start tomorrow.

The girls go out as if to go upstairs (but make their way offstage).

M IMSIE: ’Night. Did you boys put the luggage on my bed?

STEVE

: Yeah, that’s right, and the champagne’s on the roof terrace.

ANGIE: Oh, really?…

STEVE: Yeh!

ANGIE: Oh, very funny, ha, ha.

The girls have now all gone. Lights fade as the B OYS get into bed etc.

ALMA : (Off) Goodnight everyone. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

DON : See you in the morning.




STEVE: Bobby, where are you going? The girls are upstairs the boys are downhere.

BARBARA : Oh, alright.

B ARBARA grabs a blanket and turns to go straight to sleep on a seat.

DON : Do you always sleep with your coat on?

BARBARA : Yes. Goodnight.

ANGIE: (Off) Sweet dreams.

STEVE: ’Night, Charlie.

M IMSIE: (Off) See ya. Wouldn’t want to be ya.

EDWIN : Goodnight.

They are all tucked up. Silence. A loud raspberry.

ALL : Oh, Cyril!

Music No. 15: THE SAVAGE(Instrumental)

SCENE SEVEN: A ROADSIDE VERGE

As the medium-sized model bus crosses the stage in the dark with its internal lights on, the

trucks for the interior scene are struck. The bus slows down and eventually stops. Musicfades. Lights slowly up on the scene.

The next morning. A perfect, still morning spoilt only by the fact that the bus won’t start.The model bus is upstage, on its side, being repaired by D ON . The G IRLS are practisingtheir routines being watched and occasionally helped by B ARBARA. The rest of the boys arebored, C YRIL reading the back of the paper, E DWIN reading a guide book.

Music No. 16: TIME D RAGS BY

(Steve, Cyril, Edwin)

STEVE: SITTIN’ IN THE SUN LIKE AN OLD TOM CATTHAT DON’T KNOW JUST-A WHERE HE’S AT




AND I MUST ADMIT TO YOURIGHT NOW I FEEL THAT WAY TOO

AIN’T GOT NOWHERE TO GONOBODY WANTS TO KNOWAND TIME DRAGS BY REAL SLOW

EDWIN : (Reading his guide book) This is amazing. They have to import thegoats specially?

STEVE: For what?

EDWIN : For that Goat-throwing contest in Athens.

STEVE: Goat throwing?

EDWIN : Well yes, it’s an annual event. The World Goat-Throwingchampionship. We’ll be in time to see it if all goes to plan.

STEVE: (A beat.) Fingers crossed, eh?

CYRIL: SITTIN’ ON A LOG WATCH THE WORLD GO BYFAT OLD FROG THINKIN’ MY OH MYFUNNY THING, THE HUMAN RACERUSH HERE, RUSH THERE, GET NO PLACE

AIN’T GOT NOWHERE TO GONOBODY WANTS TO KNOWAND TIME DRAGS BY REAL SLOW

The girls are unable to agree on the routine.

ALMA : I don’t understand. I just don’t understand.

ANGIE: It’s easy, Alma. Step on the left first.

ALMA : Left? Since when did we step on the left?

She starts to cry.

M IMSIE: Alma, don’t panic. It’s only a dance step.




CYRIL: Oi! What are you doing?

BARBARA : I thought you’d finished

B ARBARA hangs back to unwrap the paper and read it.

BARBARA : “Barbara Winters reported missing…mother distraught…blah, blah,blah (She skims over the unnecessary details) …possible kidnapping!!!”…Oh no, mother!…

She grabs a phone and dials quickly. We hear it ringing on the opposite side of the stage.

J ERRY comes on carrying a telephone on a long lead.

JERRY : Stella Winters’ Suite.

BARBARA : Jerry, thank God it’s you and not mother.

JERRY : Oh, don’t worry about her, she’s meditating. Getting in touch with herchakra.

We hear S TELLA meditating off stage right.

JERRY : How are you?

BARBARA : I’m fine. How are you?

JERRY : Well, I’ve put cream on it, but it’s still there!

S TELLA bursts onstage.

STELLA: Jerry! Do you mind? (Realises he’s on the phone) Sorry if I’minterrupting your happy hour, but will you get off the damn phone?!

JERRY : Of course, sorry! Barbara, are you still there? Your mother wants me…

S TELLA throws herself at the phone.

STELLA: Give me that phone. (Into phone) Barbara, where are you? (Stella putsher hand over the phone. Looks at Jerry ) Put a trace on this call!! ( Jerrylooks at her blankly ) Trace the call! (Still nothing) Tap the phone, forChrist’s sake!!!




J ERRY thinks for a moment then lightly taps the phone.

STELLA: No! Find out where she’s ringing from.

J ERRY goes out to do so.

STELLA: (To phone) Barbara, where are you ringing from?

BARBARA : I could tell you mother, but I wont. I’m fine, please don’t look for me. Ijust need a few days away to think.

STELLA: Why can’t you tell me? Have they got a gun? How much do they want?10K? 50K? 100K? Those evil pigs, how dare they only ask for a 100K!You’re worth a million, at least!!

BARBARA : For heaven’s sake, Mother. No one has kidnapped me. I’m having morefun than I’ve ever had and I’m not coming back.

D ON comes down to get her.

DON : Come on, Bobby. We’ve got to get going.

B ARBARA puts on a butch voice.

BARBARA : (To phone) It’s great talking to you Johnny. Stay out of trouble, ok?Cool.

D ON is now out of earshot.

STELLA: (Stella puts her hand over the receiver.) She’s on drugs, they’ve druggedher!! (To Barbara) Wait a second. Is this is a crazy joke to test my lovefor you and you’re actually in the hotel lobby? What a gal. That’s great.You got me.

BARBARA : It’s not a joke.

STELLA: Why don’t you just kick out all my teeth and wear them as a necklace?!

BARBARA : Mother, will you calm down?




STELLA: Calm down, she tells me? Calm down? That’s like telling the Pope tolift up his skirt and show a little leg. It ain’t gonna happen.

BARBARA : I’ll call you in a couple of days. Bye.

She drops the phone and rushes away, but it doesn’t cut off.

STELLA: Come back here young lady or I swear to God I'll reach down thisphone and drag you back here. Are you listening? Are you? She’s gone. Jerry!! Where was she phoning from?

JERRY : (Coming triumphantly through the doors.) She was phoning from ahotel suite in Paris.

S TELLA screams and lunges for J ERRY . He protects his hairpiece.

JERRY : Not the Sheitel!

Blackout.

M usic No. 17: LES GIRL S(Instrumental)

SCENE EIGHT: THE SHOW ER

D ON is in the shower. B ARBARA walks past to get something. D ON pops his head out.

DON : Hey Bobby, can you pass me a towel!?

Barbara is really embarrassed but does so.

BARBARA : There you go.

He reaches out to get the towel. She goes to rush away, embarrassed.

DON : Hey, don’t go away, I’d like to speak to you a moment.

BARBARA : About what?

DON : About you? (He is drying himself off. She doesn’t know where to putherself. During the following, he dresses.) Bobby, I’m not doubting all




that you’ve told us but I think you’re holding out. Pass me my shorts,would you? (She does so but is mortified. If she had tongs she would

use them.) Thanks. Towel? (He is now out of the shower. She holds thetowel for him, covering his modesty and trying not to look.) Nowwhatever the reason for running away, you can tell me about it. Maybe Ican help you out. Ok?

BARBARA : Sure. Is that all?

DON : Yeah, I guess so.

He is quite close now and still bare-chested. She may pass out.

BARBARA : I’ll get your shirt. (She does so.) Oh no, it’s ripped. Do you want me tosew it up for you… because that’s not going to happen.

DON : Sew it up? Me?

BARBARA : Maybe you need a woman to look after you.

DON : No mate, not me. Girls are great, but at a distance. They get serious tooquickly.

BARBARA : Yeah. They don’t think the same way we do, do they?

DON : Do you know? You are so right.

Music No. 18: BACHELO R BOY(Don, Boys)

As the song progresses D ON finishes getting dressed. Much to the embarrassment ofB ARBARA , she finds herself in increasingly awkward positions.

DON : WHEN I WAS YOUNG MY FATHER SAID“SON, I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY”AND WHAT HE OLD ME I’LL NEVER FORGETUNTIL MY DYING DAY, HE SAID

“SON YOU ARE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT’S THE WAY TO STAYSON YOU BE A BACHELOR BOY




UNTIL YOUR DYING DAY”

BARBARA : Oh, I see.

DON : Don’t get involved. It’s a bit of fun, sure, but once your heart takes overthen it all becomes muddy. I got burnt once. Never again.

BARBARA : But what about closeness and doing things as a couple and sharing yourlife with someone… that I’ve heard about.

DON : Overrated mate, overrated. Don’t allow a woman to own you.

WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN I FELL IN LOVEWITH A GIRL AS SWEET AS CAN BEBUT I REMEMBERED JUST IN TIMEWHAT MY FATHER SAID TO ME, HE SAID

“SON YOU ARE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT'S THE WAY TO STAYSON YOU BE A BACHELOR BOY

UNTIL YOUR DYING DAY”

BARBARA : What if she doesn’t want to own you? Just wants to be with you whenshe can and let you have freedom to breath.

S TEVE , E DWIN and C YRIL arrive.

DON : It’s easy to be confident about something you’ve never experienced. Youare only fourteen.

BARBARA : Oh yes. I’d forgotten.

DON : AS TIME GOES BY I PROBABLY WILLMEET A GIRL AND FALL IN LOVETHEN I’LL GET MARRIED,HAVE A WIFE AND A CHILDAND THEY’LL BE MY TURTLE DOVESBUT UNTIL THEN

B OYS join in.

DON/BOYS: I’LL BE A BACHELOR BOY




AND THAT'S THE WAY I’LL STAYHAPPY TO BE A BACHELOR BOY

UNTIL MY DYING DAY

I’LL BE A BACHELOR BOYAND THAT'S THE WAY I'LL STAYHAPPY TO BE A BACHELOR BOYUNTIL MY DYING DAY

Blackout.

Music No. 19: THE SAVAGE(Instrumental)

SCENE NINE: STELLA’S HOTEL SUITE

A lightly disguised J ERRY rushes across the stage looking for S TELLA. She is lying on a sofaupstage talking seductively on the phone.

JERRY : Stella!

STELLA: I’ll call you back, Rodney.

She puts the phone down.

JERRY : Stella! Stella!

J ERRY runs in, excited.

STELLA: You’re late!

JERRY : Yeah, I couldn’t get in the building. It’s a wall of journalists down there.They’re not letting anyone in. Hence the disguise. Any word fromBarbara?

STELLA: Not a bean.

JERRY : Good.

STELLA: Good?




JERRY : Yes, good.

STELLA: In what way good?

JERRY : As in good good. Good in a very good way, as in goodie goodie gumdrops. Why do you think all the press are piling up outside? Barbara.Missing. In peril. When she was here she couldn’t get an inch of presscoverage. But now she’s not here, she’s on the front page.

STELLA: Good.

JERRY : Just look at this headline. (He pulls out a paper from his overcoat .)“Où est Barbara?” (And another) “Barbara - C’est fini?” (And yetanother ) It’s even made the British papers - “Barbara WintersAbducted by Aliens.”

STELLA: This is great… Does it mention me? (Reading paper ) I am not FortyEight!!!

She throws down the paper.

JERRY : Oh, that reminds me. Hedda Hopper rang from L.A.

STELLA: Oh really?

JERRY : She heard all about it - having met you she couldn’t understand whyBarbara hadn’t run away years ago.

STELLA: Oh isn’t that sweet?

JERRY : Yeah!

STELLA: Where did Barbara ring from again?

JERRY : Charmont.

STELLA: (To J ERRY ) Right, we’d better get down to Charmont to make sure she

stays there and undiscovered.

JERRY : She’s not going to be there now, is she? The man I spoke to said theywere on a London Bus on their way to Greece.




STELLA: No, we’ve got to stop them. If we can keep ’em off the main roads for acouple more days then the whole world will be worried about her.

JERRY : And in a week, she’ll be a national heroine.

STELLA: So where’s the next stop?

JERRY : Hang on I’ll look for it. (He checks a map) Wait a second. Are yousure it was Barbara? That man told me that the call was made by a boy.

STELLA: Of course it was Barbara. I should know her voice when I hear it. She

was disguised. Though why she’s covering up her lovely hair I don’tknow.

JERRY : Basle. (Pronounced Basil)

STELLA: She’s changed her name?

JERRY : Basle, Switzerland. They’ve got to go through there, there’s a mountainin the way.

STELLA: OK. Leave this to me. (She grabs the phone and dials.) I know theAmerican Ambassador, charming man. (Into the phone) Hello, Rodney?(confidentially) It’s “Marshmallow”. Listen Sweetheart, I need a favour.There’s a Red London bus on its way to the Swiss border with a bunchof kids on board. Now I’ve reason to believe that they do not have alicence to carry passengers…

JERRY : That’s very clever, but what about when they find out that it’s not true?They’ll let them carry on travelling.

STELLA: (Covering the mouthpiece) I know. I know that. Hang on! (To phone.She is a little embarrassed) I’m wearing them now.

JERRY : (Afraid to ask) What did he give you?

She points to earrings. He is relieved.

STELLA: I saw them pick up passengers right before my eyes and chargemoney…Can I leave that with you snake-hips? You know how I hate




confrontation. You are a darling man. This is your little Marshmallowsaying goodbye!

She puts the phone down triumphantly.

STELLA: See!

JERRY : Marshmallow? (Stella lunges for him) Not the Sheitel …

Blackout.

Music No. 20: LES GIRLS / VALD EREE(Instrumental)

Lights up on the model bus crossing the stage as a large piece of white tarpaulin isceremonially brought on stage by two officials (J EAN D’ ARM and WPC). Slowly, one sideis raised like a sail. The bus passes underneath it and a much smaller bus appears round theside of the cloth. It makes its way up the edge of the cloth. Lit well, this then looks amountain. Lit badly, it’ll look like laundry!

SCENE TEN: SWITZERLAND

A local Policeman blows his whistle, the music stops and the kids enter. They are carryingtheir luggage, bedding, guitars and most of their worldly goods. They have been thrown offthe bus.

JEAN D’ARM : You have been reported as travelling with no licence.

WPC: You are strangers in this country - you should respect the laws.

JEAN D’ARM : You cannot travel further and your bus will be impounded.

ALMA : Oh, no. We’re done for.

WPC: Keys?

E DWIN has to hand him the keys to the bus. The guys all moan.

DON : No, no. It’s ok, I’ve got an idea. (To Jean) Monsieur. We areperformers. You know… pop group?

He laughs. They laugh nervously with him. He stops. They stop.




JEAN D’ARM : Pop group? Non.

DON : Oui, oui. Le truth.

JEAN D’ARM : Ok. Prove it.

DON : (To G IRLS ) You’ve got to do something. Prove we’re legitimate.

STEVE: Think of something, Charlie.

ALMA : I could show him a time step.

EDWIN : We’ll never convince him we’re all in a group. We’re done for.

ANGIE: Now come on guys. We can do it. We’re going to busk like we’ve neverbusked before.

M IMSIE: It’s nine o’clock in the morning!!! I don’t do Matinees.

CYRIL: Come on guys, it’s our only chance!

DON : So are we all in? Then let’s go! A-1,2,3,4!!

Music No. 21: DAN CING SHO ES(Angie, Mimsie, Alma, Barbara, Boys)

D ON plays the guitar. The other boys shake whatever they can while the girls use theirmikes and “busk” a routine.

ANGIE: YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF A-LITTLE BO BEEPSHE WAS THE GIRL WITH ALL THE SHEEPWELL ONE DAY, IT’S A-SAD TO SAYTHE SHEEP ALL RAN AWAYSHE WAS LONELY AND SHE WAS BLUESHE WAS SAD AND A-CRYIN’ TOOSO I TOLD HER WHAT TO DOI SAID PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES

G IRLS : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES




The officials are unconvinced.

M IMSIE: A FRIEND OF MINE HAD AN ACCIDENTLAUGHED SO HARD, OFF THE WALL HE WENTA-HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS HIS NAMEI GUESS YOU HEARD THE SAMEHE WAS LYING ON THE GROUNDA-BITS AND PIECES ALL AROUNDSO I TOLD HIM WHAT TO DOI SAID PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES

G IRLS : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES

The girls do a big dance routine. Against his better judgement the policeman is tapping hisfeet. The WPC is harder to please and wants to go.

ALMA : I’M SURE YOU KNOW ABOUT JACK AND JILLTHEY’RE THE ONES THAT WENT UP THE HILL JACK FELL DOWN BROKE HIS CROWN JILL CAME TUMBLING AFTERWHAT A NOISE THEIR CRYING MADEIT WAS A-RINGING THROUGH THE GLADESO I TOLD THEM WHAT TO DOAND I CHANGED THEIR TEARS TO LAUGHTER

G IRLS +EVERYONE ELSE : PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES

PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESAND DANCE AWAY YOUR BLUES

PUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOESPUT ON YOUR DANCIN’ SHOES

DON : Well?

The policeman throws the keys over to Don. They cheer. All the girls give the policeman akiss. Cyril goes to give the WPC a kiss but thinks better of it. They launch themselves intothe next song and a party ensues.




Music No. 22: W E SAY YE AH(Don)

DON : MOMMY SAYS NO, DADDY SAYS NOBROTHER SAYS NO, BUT THEY ALL GOTTA GO’CAUSE WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)

IF WE DIDN’T GO AHEAD,

IF WE THOUGHT OF ALL THEY SAIDMIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP, MANWE MIGHT AS WELL BE DEADOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)

WE’RE A-MOVIN’ UP FRONTSINGIN’ OUR SONGALL THE ONES THEY TAUGHT USTHEY’RE ALL DEAD AND GONEOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)

WE’LL AIM FOR THE SKYKEEP ON SHOOTIN’ HIGH

FORGET ABOUT THOSE PROBLEMS BABYDON’T JUST SIT AND SIGHOH WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)

NOW MOMMY SAYS YEAH, DADDY SAYS YEAHBROTHER SAYS YEAH,

WELL MAYBE THEY’RE NOT SO SQUAREWE ALL SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE ALL SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH-YEAH)




WE SAY YEAH, (YEAH…)

Gradually Barbara’s dancing gets wilder and wilder. Everyone else stops and admireshim/her. Unfortunately, her baseball cap comes off and her long hair flops down. The party stops. Everyone stares. Silence.

DON : Bobby?

ANGIE: Bobby?

CYRIL: You need a haircut, mate.

Final chord of W E S AY Y EAH . Then quick blackout. Curtain in.

END OF ACT ONE



44 SUMMER HOLIDAY Act Two

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE: AN ALPINE CAFE

Music No. 23: SHINDIG(Instrumental)

Halfway through the song, the curtain rises on the terrace of an out-of-season mountainrestaurant, a few chairs and tables around. W ILF ’s long-lost twin is serving everyone milk.The band are on stage and our K IDS have taken over the place and are conducting animpromptu jam session. E DWIN plays a guitar. C YRIL accompanies on the harmonica and

S TEVE on the bongos. M IMSIE shakes her maracas, ALMA wildly plays the spoons andANGIE reluctantly bangs a wood block. Subject to availability, some of these can be mimed.The song ends.

The K IDS start to move away. The lead guitarist plays the first three notes of ‘M OVE I T ’ toE DWIN as a challenge (think ‘D UELLING B ANJOS ’ from ‘D ELIVERANCE ’). E DWIN playsthem back. The guitarist plays some more, E DWIN plays it back. Before we know it we areinto the song.

Music No. 24: MO VE IT(Edwin)

As he sings, he throws himself around with a great deal of energy, no skill, but a lot ofcharm.

EDWIN : COME ON PRETTY BABYLET’S A-MOVE IT AND A-GROOVE IT!SHAKE OH BABY SHAKE, BUT HONEYPLEASE DON’T LOSE ITTHE RHYTHM THAT GETSINTO YOUR HEART AND SOULWELL LET ME TELL YOU BABYIT’S CALLED ROCK AND ROLL

THEY SAY IT’S GONNA DIEBUT HONEY PLEASE LET’S FACE ITTHEY JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’SA-GOIN’ TO REPLACE IT

WELL BALLADS AND CALYPSOSHAVE GOT NOTHIN’ ONA REAL COUNTRY MUSICTHAT JUST DRIVES ALONG



Act Two SUMMER HOLIDAY 45

WELL A-MOVE IT

COME ON PRETTY BABYLET'S A-MOVE IT AND A-GROOVE IT!SHAKE OH BABY SHAKE, BUT HONEYPLEASE DON’T LOSE ITTHE RHYTHM THAT GETSINTO YOUR HEART AND SOULLET ME TELL YOU BABYIT’S CALLED ROCK AND ROLL

THEY SAY IT’S GONNA DIEBUT HONEY PLEASE LET’S FACE ITTHEY JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT’SA-GOIN’ TO REPLACE ITBALLADS AND CALYPSOSHAVE GOT NOTHIN’A REAL COUNTRY MUSICTHAT JUST DRIVES ALONGA-HONEY MOVE ITA-HONEY MOVE ITWELL A- MOVE IT

Towards the end of the song E DWIN has been getting more ‘rock and roll’, lots of jumpsand turns, caught up in the music. At the finish he collapses, exhausted. During theapplause he gets up, a little bit shocked and embarrassed that he did it. The K IDS

congratulate him. S TELLA arrives on the other side of the terrace.

STELLA: Jerry!! (She realises she is alone) Stop sulking. Will you come out from

behind there?

JERRY : (Offstage) I feel stupid.

STELLA: Trust in your feelings honey. Now come on!

J ERRY appears. He is wearing a milkmaid’s outfit.

STELLA: You see? Nobody noticed.

JERRY : I still don’t see why you had to give the guard my suit.




STELLA: Mainly because it was you and your big mouth that got us arrested inthe first place.

JERRY : How was I to know the Swiss haven’t got a sense of humour?

STELLA: Well they’re laughing now!

JERRY : It could be worse. At least I’m pretty.

STELLA: (She sees the K IDS .) You gotta be joking!

JERRY : The man with the goats wanted to marry me!

STELLA: They’re here. Those freaky bus kids. Right under our schnozzes.

JERRY : What shall we do?

STELLA: …I have an idea. (She takes off her pendant.)

JERRY : You take the pendant…

STELLA: Exactly…

JERRY : Plant it on the bus…

STELLA: Exactly…

JERRY : You phone the Border and tell them the kids stole it.

STELLA: Exactly…

JERRY : They will be off the road…

JERRY …and we’ll be in the papers.

STELLA: Exactly. That’s brilliant…Godammit, I’m good…Okay Heidi, we got ajob to do…

They leave. D ON arrives back. The K IDS greet him as if they haven’t seen him for ages,which they haven’t.




EDWIN : Don! Where’ve you been? We’ve been really worried about you.

ANGIE :

Did you find her?

DON : No, no sign of her anywhere. I guess she was too embarrassed.

ALMA : No, I remember her saying how pleased she was that we knew the truth.

CYRIL: What, the truth about being a ‘female transvestite’?

Barbara enters in a dress, looking sensational. E DWIN doesn’t see her.

EDWIN : She’s not a female transvestite. Bobby…Barbara, whatever her name

is…is a bit mixed up, I suppose. Perhaps she’s just a little crazy or mad,you know, Americans… She’s right behind me, isn’t she?…

BARBARA : I guess I have some explaining to do about my behaviour.

STEVE : (Taking a seat) This should be good.

BARBARA : Well, I’m sorry if I’ve deceived you. The thing is…I guess I didn’t thinkit through…I’m sorry. There’s a lot of reasons why I need to get away.In time I’ll be able to tell you why, but for now…can I stay?

M IMSIE: Girls?

DON : Guys?

Thumbs up.

M IMSIE: Then it’s a deal

CYRIL: Let’s drink to it. Garçon! More drinks, Sylvia Plath.

They all chat wildly. As they move away, D ON and B ARBARA are momentarily next to eachother. There is an awkward pause.

DON : I…uh, I guess I must be a bit of a joke to you, eh?

BARBARA : What do you mean?

DON : Well, because of all those things I said to you yesterday.




BARBARA : Oh, the ‘bachelor boy’. On the contrary, I agree with you. Why shoulda girl think that she owns a fellow just because she holds his hand?

Things should be easy and casual.

DON : Fun?

BARBARA : That’s right, fun. You know, swinging.

He thinks for a second.

DON : Yeah, swinging. You know, I could be interested in you.

BARBARA : Really?

DON : Absolutely…

Music No. 25: A SWING ING AFFAIR(Don, Barbara)

DON : OURS WILL BE A SWINGING AFFAIR

WE WONT BE TIED, WE’LL BE AS FREE AS AIRFOR WE WON’T CARE WHAT TOMORROW BRINGSIT’LL BE JUST ONE OF THOSE SWINGING THINGS

OURS WILL BE A SWINGING AFFAIRWE WILL JUST BE A VERY CASUAL PAIRFOR LOVE WON’T MAKE US AN APRIL FOOLNOW WE’VE BOTH DECIDED TO PLAY IT COOL

BARBARA : WE’LL SHARE A FEW LAUGHS,WE’LL SHARE AN ODD DATEWE’LL SHARE A FEW KISSESWHEN IT’S GROWING LATEAND THOUGH THE STARS AND THE MOONMAY SHINE UP ABOVE,WE’LL ENJOY THE MAGICBUT WE WON’T FALL IN LOVE.

BOTH : OURS WILL BE A RING-A-DING-DING JUST FOR KICKS WE TWO WILL HAVE OUR FLINGAND WE’LL HAVE FUN WHILE THERE’S TIME TO SPAREFOR WE’LL BOTH ENJOY OUR SWINGING AFFAIR




Barbara starts to go.

DON : What’s wrong?

BARBARA : Nothing, It was fun while it lasted.

DON : But…

BARBARA : Hey, nothing lasts for ever.

She taps one of the boys on the shoulder and dances with him. Gradually she includes all

the boys in the fun, but eventually she ends up next to Don.

BOTH : WE’LL ENJOY THE MAGICBUT WE WON’T FALL IN LOVE

OURS WILL BE A RING-A-DING-DING JUST FOR KICKS WE TWO WILL HAVE OUR FLINGAND WE’LL PRETEND WE ARE NOT AWARETHIS IS MORE, SO MUCH MORE

THAN A SWINGING AFFAIR

As they all disperse…

ANGIE : Come on everyone, we’ve got to get moving. The Italianborder closes in three hours!

CYRIL: Guys!

D ON and B ARBARA are about to kiss when C YRIL comes between them - they end upkissing him. As they react, blackout.

Music No. 26: THE FR IGHTEN ED CITY(Instrumental)

SCENE TWO : THE ITALIAN BORDER

The model bus crosses the stage. It is dark. As it exits…

We see the bus headlights pull up and approach offstage. Suddenly a huge floodlight isswitched on, followed by a series of smaller beams from the band and everywhere possible.On loudhailers we repeatedly hear…




GUARDS : (On loudhailers) Per cortesia scendete dalla autobus! (“Please make your way out of the vehicle”.)

The K IDS quickly assemble in a line-up with their hands in the air. A B ORDER G UARD stands and stares at them.

EDWIN : …Is this ‘cos Cyril shouted “Mussolini” out of the window? I promiseyou he didn’t mean anything by it. (The G UARD looks sharply towardshim.) But if it’s a crime, he made me do it.

The G UARD starts to systematically frisk the K IDS .

ANGIE : What do you think they’re looking for?

STEVE : I knew we shouldn’t have tried to smuggle a bus.

CYRIL: Here, look out! I’m British, you know? I’ve got a British Passport. Look,there’s my face. (He looks at the passport himself.)

M IMSIE: Maybe they’re looking for offensive weapons.

S TEVE starts to say something but D ON stops him.

STEVE : I…

DON : Leave it!

ALMA : What do they wear in Italian prisons?

EDWIN : Don’t panic, Alma. We won’t have to go to prison.

ANGIE : Of course not.

M IMSIE: We’re innocent, after all.

STEVE : Try telling that to ‘Charletto Frostini’ over there.

They all smile at the F EMALE G UARD . She shakes her head and remains frosty.

CYRIL: It’ll be fine - I’ll explain, use my charm.

STEVE : (To ANGIE ) Twelve months. With good behaviour, we’ll be out in six.




C YRIL walks over, grinning.

CYRIL: Hello! Please - let - me - explain. (Very fast, with lots of appropriate gestures.) We’re London bus mechanics on our way to the St. Tropezin a Bus, or rather we were, till we met these lovely girls, who are asinging group on their way to Athens, which is in Greece, so we decidedto drive them there ‘cos they broke down, bit out of our way but we’revery easy going, so all going well till we find this French midget whoalso happens to be on his way to Athens, so we give him a lift as well,back on track, lots of laughs, arm punching, dancing etc, etc, then -spanner in the works, we get stopped by some Swiss police people, bit

grumpy to start with but they warmed up lovely, we’ll keep in touch,Christmas cards and so on, only then, the midget boy turns out to be amidget girl, well not midget for a girl, she’s just right, all in the rightplace and everything, bit odd, was a boy - now a girl, but we’re goingwith it, so right now we’re trying to get to the port of Bari, which incase you didn’t know, imagine Italy’s a boot, Bari’s on the heel, so we’retrying to get there to catch the only ferry this week to get the girls, thesinging group, remember them, to Greece in time for their gig, if wedon’t get there, no gig, hence us here, you there, and so we’re notcriminals or anything, clearly there’s been some terriblemisunderstanding! (He has run out of breath. He gets it back.) So, we’lljust go…

They start to leave. She barks at them to stop. Another guard rushes on holding S TELLA’s pendant and presents it to the guard. B ARBARA recognises it and has to do some quickthinking. She lunges forward.

GUARD : Otro Vato Questo.

BARBARA : No, that’s mine. Look it’s mine…you see?

B ARBARA opens the clasp on the pendant to reveal a photo of herself which she offers tohim for inspection. The K IDS all lean in and have a look. ALMA : Oh yes, look. It’s a picture of you. How old were you ?

CYRIL: She looks about eight in there.

M IMSIE: No, at least ten. Lovely dimples.

COMMANDER : Silencio!




He takes B ARBARA’s hand and kisses it.

COMMANDER : Mi dispiace. Senora, my apologies. You are free to go.

He waves them through. They thank him and as they go out the C OMMANDER turns to theG UARD puts his megaphone to his ear.

COMMANDER Idiote!

Music No 27: SHINDIG

(Instrumental)

SCENE THREE: ON THE ROAD

S TELLA and J ERRY arrive for a leisurely picnic lunch.

JERRY : How about here, Stella?

STELLA: No, not there. This is a good spot, in the shade. I suggest you get out of

the sun - bad for the sheitel!

JERRY : I’m so glad to get out of that dress…heaven knows how thoseshepherds manage.

STELLA: Poor Barbara.

JERRY : What?

STELLA: You reminded me of Barbara.

JERRY : Really? Naturally I’m flattered but…oh, I thought you meant…

STELLA: My poor baby, suffering, wasting away in a border jail. Starving.

JERRY : Pizza?

STELLA: Thank you. A single bed, a bare lightbulb. Only her thoughts to keep

her company.

JERRY : Lambrusco?




STELLA: Probably. She’s got very sensitive skin. This is cold (Throws the Pizzaback into the Picnic hamper). Anyways…at least the bus is off the road.

My Baby is becoming a huge star.

The small model bus drives noisily past them. Sounds of laughter, music etc. They watch itslowly disappear off the other side of the stage…

JERRY : Sorry where was I?…Aah…

They realise it’s the K IDS and react.

STELLA: We’ve gotta get ’em off the main road or she’ll get recognised and beobscure all over again. Where did you park the car?

JERRY : I gave the keys to the man.

STELLA: What man?

JERRY : The man who asked for the keys.

STELLA: Was this the man who asked you to put your head in the oven? Yougave away my car!!!? How are we gonna follow that bus now?

JERRY : My cousin has a car.

STELLA: Can chimps drive? Find me some transport, you big numbskull!

As they leave…

SCENE FOU R (Part One): DRIVING T HRO UGH ITALY

Music No. 28: I’VE GOT A FUNN Y FEELING(Edwin, Alma, Angie, Cyril, Mimsie, Steve)

…we see E DWIN onstage driving the bus and ALMA behind him reading the map. They areapparently driving fast. ALMA is panicking, trying to read the road signs. Music vampsunder the dialogue until the kiss.

EDWIN : Hurry up, Alma. There’s a junction coming up.

ALMA : Ok. Follow the signs for…uh…




EDWIN : Quickly. I’m driving in a second language remember.

ALMA : Hang on…Turin! Turn right.

He starts to indicate right.

ALMA : No, Milan! Left!

He starts to indicate left.

ALMA : No! Keep going straight. Straight. Yes, that’s right. Keep on this road

till you get to Genoa. (She is relieved. He is stressed out.) This is funisn’t it?

He looks at her, tries to stay annoyed, but can’t. They break up laughing.

EDWIN : You’re mad.

She kisses him on the cheek.

EDWIN/ALMA : I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUI’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOUYES, I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

They move away as we see ANGIE and C YRIL on board the bus.

ANGIE : Well, the immediate plan, if we get to Athens on time, is to startperforming in this club and take it from there. But we’d love to get intorecords. Girl groups are going to be really big.

CYRIL: Well if you need a manager or something…

ANGIE : Oh no, we’ll manage ourselves.

CYRIL: But…you’re a girl.

ANGIE : (Outraged) What difference does that make? Haven’t you heard of theWomen’s movement?




CYRIL: Course I have. It’s a dance, isn’t it?

She realises that he’s been winding her up. They start laughing.

ANGIE/CYRIL: MY HEART GOES BOBBIN’EVERY TIME I GET A SIGHT OF YOUMY HEART GOES BOBBIN’EVERY TIME I GET A SIGHT OF YOU JUST SAY THE WORDAND TELL ME THAT I’LL DO’CAUSE I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT

I’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

They go and we see Steve is now driving with Mimsie on map duty. Mimsie isconcentrating really hard.

STEVE : You’re a good map reader, Charlie.

M IMSIE: Well that’s a first.

STEVE : What?

M IMSIE: A compliment from you.

STEVE : What do you mean? I’m always giving you compliments.

M IMSIE: No you’re not.

STEVE : Well...would you like some more compliments?

M IMSIE: Worth a go.

STEVE : (He cant think of one) Ummm…

M IMSIE gets distracted by something on the map and misses the whole of the followingverse.

STEVE : I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

I’VE GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOU




YES, I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU

M IMSIE: Sorry, did you say something?

STEVE: No, not important. We should be getting to Rome pretty soon. How

far is it?

M IMSIE: In kilometres or in minutes?

STEVE: In English.

She laughs and playfully clips him round the ear.

M IMSIE: You are too cheeky for your own good. 12kms to Rome. Shame we

can’t stop. Cup of tea?

STEVE: Yeah. D’you know you make superb tea…

M IMSIE: Don’t push your luck. Oh, by the way, I’ve got a ‘funny feeling’ too.

STEVE: Oh, right. (He realises.) Oh right!

STEVE/M IMSIE: I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT

I’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUI GOT A FUNNY FEELING THATI’M FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOUEVERY DAY AND NIGHTI DREAM OF DREAMS OF YOU

ALL : I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT I’M FALLING IN LOVE…I GOT A FUNNY FEELING THAT I’M FALLING IN LOVE…

M IMSIE: Watch out for those girls in middle of the road!

They scream as the bus appears to screech to a halt. Blackout.

SCENE FOUR Part Two): THE BRIDESMAIDS

Lights up on a stage which is bare, except for a young B RIDE with her B RIDESMAIDS . Theyare all crying. The B OYS - S TEVE , C YRIL and E DWIN - enter. They’re much too forcefuland scare the girls.




STEVE : Hey, Charlie. What’s the problem?

EDWIN : Today’s a good day, isn’t it? The best day of your life?

CYRIL: Yeah, but you can’t get married in the middle of the road can you? Sowhy not…shift…

He tries to move her. She screams. The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS scream. D ON and the girls arrive. B ARBARA takes the initiative.

BARBARA : Scusi, Senora. (They stop. They stare at her.) Va bene?

ANGIE : Well done, Babs. Keep going.

BARBARA : I don’t know any more Italian.

STEVE : Well think of something, before Charlie has a breakdown.

ALMA : What about the universal language?

CYRIL: What? Esperanto?

ALMA : No, music!

BARBARA : Yeah, that’s it - guys, come here. How about this…Cyril do this…

She demonstrates an a capella bass line. He sings it.

BARBARA

: Steve…

She demonstrates another line, again he copies.

BARBARA : Don…Edwin…

She shows him another part, which he does. Then she talks to the B RIDE / B RIDESMAIDS .

BARBARA : Can you say LI?…

They repeat it…

BARBARA : …FING




And again…

BARBARA : …DAA

Again…

BARBARA : …LLLL

…Once more

BARBARA : Now say it all together…

BRIDE / B’MAIDS : (Tentatively) Li - ving d - oll?

M usic No. 29: LIVING DO LL(Barbara, Boys, Girls)

BARBARA : GOT MYSELF A CRYIN’, TALKIN’, SLEEPIN’, WALKIN’,

(Each time she gets to this part she points to the B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS to shout ‘Living

Doll’)

…LIVIN’ DOLLGOT TO DO MY BEST TO PLEASE HER JUST ’CAUSE SHE’S A LIVIN’ DOLLGOT A ROVIN’ EYE AND THAT IS WHYSHE SATISFIES MY SOULGOT THE ONE AND ONLYWALKIN’, TALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLL

She uses Edwin to demonstrate. The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS laugh.

TAKE A LOOK AT HER HAIR, IT’S REALIF YOU DON’T BELIEVE WHAT I SAY, JUST FEELGONNA LOCK HER UP IN A TRUNKSO NO BIG HUNKCAN STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME

B ARBARA catches D ON looking at her. He is starting to fall for her and is unable to hide it.She smiles back…

GOT MYSELF A CRYIN’, TALKIN’,




SLEEPIN’, WALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLLGOT TO DO MY BEST TO PLEASE HER

JUST ’CAUSE SHE’S A LIVIN’ DOLLGOT A ROVIN’ EYE AND THAT IS WHYSHE SATISFIES MY SOULGOT THE ONE AND ONLYWALKIN’, TALKIN’, LIVIN’ DOLL

The song ends. The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS are happy and understand that these K IDS mean no harm. They point stage left, indicating where they need to get to.

BRIDE : Amalfi?

CYRIL: I’m Cyril, how d’ya do?

BARBARA : Your wedding’s in Amalfi?

They nod their heads.

DON : That’s not too far, is it?

E DWIN checks the map.

EDWIN : 40km. Hour each way.

STEVE : We don’t have time. (To B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS ) Girls have gig!

ANGIE : Oh, we can’t leave them here.

ALMA : It’s worth a risk, isn’t it?

M IMSIE: Yes, Don - we can still make the ferry and be in time for the gig.

CYRIL: Yeah, if we just stay for five minutes, we can do it.

DON : Are we all sure? (Thumbs up.) Then let’s go.

The B RIDE and B RIDESMAIDS are thrilled and start to leave with them. D ON watches

B ARBARA from a slight distance. The smallest B RIDESMAID is left on stage unseen by D ON .

DON : GOT A ROVIN’ EYE AND THAT IS WHY




SHE SATISFIES MY SOULGOT THE ONE AND ONLY

WALKIN’, TALKIN’,

He notices the B RIDESMAID and takes her by the hand.

LIVIN’ DOLL

They leave to catch up with the others.

SCENE FIVE: THE W EDDING RECEPTION

The K IDS , B RIDE , G ROOM , B RIDESMAIDS (and B AND ) enter as if in a church. A formal procession.

Music No. 30: LEI VUOLE BA LLARE(All)

In the original production the solo part was sung by the musical director. If this isn’t possible, anyone apart from “the kids” may sing it.

SOLO : LEI VUOLE BALLARE E TIENELA MIA MANO?SPREMERME, IL MIELEIO M’IL SUO UOMOMIO CAROLEI VUOLE BALLARE?

WELL…

Music No. 31: DO YO U W ANNA D ANCE(All)

Suddenly, they all break out of the procession and we are in the middle of the reception.The BRIDE throws the bouquet. It is caught by B ARBARA.

The celebration continues Italian style - passionate, wild and spontaneous. The kind ofspontaneity that you only get after four weeks of rehearsals.

BOYS : WELL DO YOU WANNA DANCEAND HOLD MY HAND?SQUEEZE ME BABY, I’M YOUR MAN




OH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHT?SQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO WANNA DANCE?

G IRLS : DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

BOYS : DO YOU WANNA DANCETO A ROCK AND ROLL BAND?COME ON BABY, GIVE ME YOUR HANDOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

G IRLS : DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHTSQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

ALL : DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

Big dance break, whisper chorus and a final rally.

DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,




DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,

DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

As the K IDS celebrate and relax into smooching mode, the band begins to play a slow song.

Music No. 32: SLEEPW ALK(Instrumental)

S TELLA and J ERRY arrive downstage.

As they remove their crash helmets we can see that S TELLA looks like Gina Lollabrigida’srougher second cousin, wearing a loud headscarf wrapped round most of her face. J ERRY ,meanwhile, is wearing a some sort of ‘Chico-the-bus-boy’ outfit, one size too small. S TELLA is not happy.

STELLA: Next time I hit you on the shoulder it means stop!

JERRY : I thought you were drumming.

STELLA: Quiet! What they doing over there? And why are they picking up straybrides, for Christ’s sake?

JERRY : Maybe they were being nice.

STELLA: Nice? Nobody’s nice anymore! It’s everywoman for herself. Dog eat

dog. Kill or be killed.

JERRY : How’s the anger therapy going?

STELLA: Now, you remember the plan?

JERRY : Of course. ‘Distract them’.

STELLA: …by being street entertainers.




E DWIN is waving the keys at D ON indicating that they should go.

JERRY : …and get the keys to the bus. Can’t we just leave her alone? She looksvery happy.

STELLA: Happy? She’s not happy. She thinks Happy’s a dwarf! She’ll know what

happy is when I turn her into a superstar. It’s what any loving mother

would do for her kid. So grab these and shake ‘em!

S TELLA grabs some maracas from her bag.

(In a thick Italian accent) Come in, Chico! Reeba, Reeba, Reeba! Please,please, please, please. Musica…Maestro…

She rounds them all up with a wild tarantella. The K IDS are confused.

M usic No. 33: LA LA LA SONG(Stella, Jerry, All)

STEVE : What’s wrong with Charlie?

STELLA: THERE’S A SONG I KNOW, THIS IS HOW IT GOESTHERE IS NOTHING IN IT COMPLICATEDTAKE THE MELODY, SIMPLE AS CAN BETHERE IS NOTHING IN IT THAT CAN DATE ITTHERE’S NO LANGUAGE PROBLEM IN ITCHILDREN EVERYWHERE CAN SWING IT,(Spoken) Sing it!

She points directly at J ERRY . He has no idea what to do. After a short pause he tentativelysings…

JERRY : LA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LA……TUTTI FRUTTI…

He gets them all to sing it with him. Gradually they do. He is getting into this!

ALL : LA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LALA LA LA LA LA




S TELLA pushes J ERRY out of the way, so he moves around the crowd trying to find thekeys.

STELLA: THERE’S NO LANGUAGE PROBLEM IN ITCHILDREN EVERYWHERE CAN SING IT,SWING IT!

J ERRY gets the keys and waves them at S TELLA.

STELLA: (To J ERRY ) SEE I TOLD YOU SOBUT NOW WE MUST GO

(To the crowd) LEAVING YOU WITHSOMETHING TO REMEMBER (To J ERRY ) NOW BE ON YOUR WAY (To the crowd)WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?THERE IS REALLY NOTHING TO ITALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS DO ITALL YOU HAVE TO SING IS LA LA LA

She starts to leave, dragging J ERRY with her.

ALL : LA LA LA

STELLA: SING LA LA LA…

ALL : LA LA LA

STELLA: SING LA LA LA…

ALL : LA LA LA…LA LA…

J ERRY is trying to tell her something.

STELLA: What?

JERRY : I got the keys!!!

STELLA: Quiet!

CYRIL: Hey. He’s nicked our keys!




BARBARA : TOMORROW,WHY WAIT UNTIL TOMORROW

’CAUSE TOMORROWSOMETIMES NEVER COMESSO LOVE ME,THERE’S A SONG TO BE SUNGAND THE BEST TIME IS TO SING ITWHILE WE’RE YOUNG

They embrace.

DON : I swore I’d never tell another girl I loved her. But I’m telling you now(Barbara looks worried.) Hey, I got so carried away with the way I felt. I

haven’t asked you how you feel.

BARBARA : I think about you constantly. In fact… I’ve loved you ever since I was a

little boy.

DON/BARBARA: ONCE IN EVERY LIFETIMECOMES A LOVE LIKE THIS

OH I NEED YOU, AND YOU NEED MEOH MY DARLING CAN’T YOU SEE?

YOUNG DREAMSSHOULD BE DREAMED TOGETHERAND YOUNG HEARTSSHOULDN’T BE AFRAIDAND SOMEDAYWHEN THE YEARS HAVE FLOWNDARLING, THEN WE’LLTEACH THE YOUNG ONES OF OUR OWNDARLING, THEN WE’LLTEACH THE YOUNG ONES OF OUR OWN

They kiss.

BARBARA : Don, there’s something I’ve got to tell you…

The K IDS come rushing back, exhausted…

K ID S: Don!…Don!! Quick…the ferry, we’ve got to go or we’ll miss the ferry

to Greece.




DON : The ferry.

BARBARA : The ferry?

DON : Of course. Come on. It leaves at midnight.

They rush off.

M usic No. 35: THE FRIGHTENED CITY(Instrumental)

SCENE SIX: BARI - PORTSIDE

A Customs / boarding point for the ferry. A C USTOMS M AN is about to lower the gatewhen we hear the sound of a small motorcycle drawing near. He looks offstage. J ERRY arrives on the Lambretta. He chats to S TELLA , but she is not on board.

JERRY : I think this is it, Stella. (He notices the C USTOMS M AN lowering the gate.) Wait a second Pedro, you got two more here. (He doesn’tunderstand.) Dos por le boat. (To C USTOMS M AN ) Two! (He begins

to spell it out) Two - person - for - the - ferry. Yeah? I don't believethis. Stella, you speak to him. Stella? Stella? (He notices she isn’t there.)Oh my word.

He stops the Lambretta and dashes about trying to find her. S TELLA enters. She is trying tobe dignified but she has one broken heel. Her clothes are dishevelled, her hair is now totallyhorizontal due to lack of wind resistance and her mascara and make up have travelled generally all over her face. She slowly approaches J ERRY .

JERRY : (Tentatively) How are you?…When did you get off? At the levelcrossing? (She shakes her head.) At the traffic lights? (Again, no.) Where then?

STELLA: At the humpback bridge!!

JERRY : Well…why didn’t you call out?

STELLA: I was lying flat on my back gasping for air. If it hadn’t been for a small

child kicking me to see if I was dead, I would still be there.

JERRY : Sorry.




STELLA: Redeem yourself. Get us on this boat.

CUSTOMS M AN : Sacred Goats Day.

JERRY : What?

CUSTOMS M AN : You come to see the goats?

STELLA: See the goats? I’ve seen Sinatra.

CUSTOMS M AN : You like goats?

JERRY : I wear one dress and the whole world knows about it.

STELLA: I think he is trying to tell us something. What about the goats?

CUSTOMS M AN : Sacred Goat Throwing Day. Big day for Greece. Big day for ferry too.

STELLA: Oh fabulous. I gotta share a ferry with a bunch of goats?

CUSTOMS M AN : No…(Indicating Left ) People …(Indicating Right ) Goats…

STELLA: I travel all over Northern Europe keeping my baby safe and missing soshe can rejoin the world to maximum effect. And when she does, she’s

gonna be sharing the front page with a livestock chuck-a-thon!

JERRY : Wait a second, wait a second. I’ve heard of this thing. It’s big. Very big.World-wide coverage. Why, only last year Life Magazine did a wholeissue on it.

STELLA: (S TELLA realises the potential.) I vote for the goat. Get me on the boat.When does it all start?

JERRY : When does it start?

CUSTOMS M AN : Tomorrow.

JERRY

: Tomorrow

STELLA: Perfect.




JERRY : (To C USTOMS M AN ) Perfect.

STELLA: Give him a dollar. (He does so) Barbara should arrive just in time forthe world’s press to interview her. Avanti!

They go off and board the ferry. As the K IDS arrive, the ferry moves off. The fog hornsounds. They stop and look on in disbelief. As they slump one by one on the ground andstare out at the water, the band strikes up a discordant ‘S UMMER H OLIDAY ’.

Music No. 36: SUMMER HOLIDAY (Reprise) Ferry Version(The Kids)

M IMSIE: WE’RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY

CYRIL: NO MORE WORKING FOR A WEEK OR TWO

ALMA : FUN AND LAUGHTER ON OUR SUMMER HOLIDAY

STEVE : NO MORE WORRIES FOR ME OR YOU,

ALL : FOR A WEEK OR TWO

Music continues underneath.

DON : I’m so sorry girls, it was my fault.

EDWIN : No it wasn’t, it was mine. I let that man with the maracas steal my keys

STEVE : If only we’d let you get a train to Athens you’d have made it.

ALMA : Yes, but we wouldn’t have had half so much fun.

M IMSIE: Yes, thanks anyway. It’s been great.

The boys feel terrible as they watch the girls leave.

ANGIE : I was going to go back with a record contract.

M IMSIE: I was going to go back a millionairess.

ALMA : I wasn’t going to go back.




DON : Wait! Listen, this can’t be it. We can’t finish here. We’ve come too far.Everyone think. There must be a way out.

They pace around trying to come up with a plan.

EDWIN : Well…how about…no.

ANGIE : We could…maybe not.

M IMSIE: Perhaps if…forget it.

DON : That’s it. It’s no use. Only a miracle can save us.

A goat bleats. They look at each other. Another bleat. Then another and another. Then awhole herd is heard offstage being herded onto something. Foghorn. The K IDS all look atD ON .

DON : I’ve got it!

ALL : The Goats!

Blackout.

M usic No. 37: THE SAVAGE / ZORBA(Instrumental)

SCENE SEVEN: ATHENS

The model bus is now on a model ferry full of model goats. It crosses the stage. Once it

reaches the other side, the K IDS arrive in Athens carrying the girls’ luggage.

STEVE : I can’t believe we made it to Grecian turf, Charlie.

CYRIL: I can’t believe we made it on time, as well.

EDWIN : I can’t believe we bumped into the Italian Goat Throwing Team andhitched a lift on their specially commissioned ferry. Now that was amiracle!

DON : Ladies, we give you Athens, with seconds, if not minutes to spare.

ANGIE : We can’t thank you enough, boys.




ALMA : Sorry we can’t stop but ‘stardom’ beckons.

M IMSIE: Guys, we want to look really professional, Would you be our roadies?

BOYS : Yeah.

M IMSIE: Ta.

STEVE : What’s a roadie?…

They all pile the suitcases on him and leave, except D ON and B ARBARA.

STEVE : Oh…Taramasalata! (He follows the others off.)

DON : And what about us?

BARBARA : Yeah, what about us?

As they embrace, S TELLA and J ERRY enter.

STELLA: Barbara Winters. Stop that immediately.

BARBARA : Oh no! Mother!!

STELLA: Take your grubby hands off her. My baby. Barbara, my love. Where

have you been? Get away from her. You’re not fit to be seen on the armof Miss Barbara Winters. She is a star!!!

DON : You’re famous?

BARBARA : Yes, I wanted…

STELLA: Now come on, the press are waiting for us. It’s all worked out

fabulously. The whole world has been worried about you…

BARBARA : Mother, what are you talking about?

As they go…

STELLA: A million dollars worth of publicity.




BARBARA : Publicity? (To S TELLA ) Let go of me, you’ve ruined everything. (ToD ON ) I swear, I didn’t know anything about this.

STELLA: Now you listen to me, young lady. Pull yourself together. You got anofficial press conference in half an hour. I have found the most fabulous

dress.

JERRY : Yeah, and if you don’t like it, I’ll have it.

She leads B ARBARA off. J ERRY follows. Don is alone.

M usic No. 38: THE NEXT TIME(Don, Barbara)

DON : THEY SAY I’LL LOVE AGAIN SOMEDAYA TRUER LOVE WILL COME MY WAYTHE NEXT TIMEBUT AFTER YOU THERE’LL NEVER BEA NEXT TIME FOR ME

THEY SAY THAT I’LL FIND HAPPINESSIN SOMEONE ELSE’S WARM CARESSTHE NEXT TIMEI’LL SOON FORGET YOUR KISSAND HEARTACHE SUCH AS THISWILL JUST BE ANCIENT HISTORY

Barbara returns and watches him.

THEY SAY THAT I’M A FOOL TO WEEP,THAT I WON'T GO ON LOSING SLEEPTHE NEXT TIMETHAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL MEND THE HEARTYOU’VE BROKEN IN TWO

BUT HOW CAN I FALL IN LOVETHE NEXT TIMEWHEN I’M STILL SO VERY MUCHIN LOVE WITH YOU?

BARBARA : Don, I can explain…I never meant to deceive you. I couldn’t tell youwho I was in case you thought of me differently.




DON : I think you’ve been performing so long you can’t tell where fantasy endsand reality begins.

BARBARA : I know about reality. I love you - that’s real.

DON : If publicity is what you’re after, why not go the whole hog. I can see it

now. Ten inch banner headlines, “Bus mechanic marries Pop Star”.

BARBARA : Ok then. I’d love to marry you.

DON : Yes, why not, and then “Bus mechanic”…what did you say?

BARBARA : I said, I’d love to marry you.

DON : Well…just what makes you think that I want to marry you?

BARBARA : Call it instinct. Call it intuition. But you do. Well?

D ON gets down on one knee.

DON : Barbara Winters, if you promise not to keep any more secrets from me,and share my life with me and, most of all, not dress up as a bloke…

Will you marry me?

BARBARA : I’d love to.

They embrace.

DON/BARBARA: I GUESS I’M STILL SO VERY MUCHIN LOVE WITH YOU

BARBARA : Now we’ve just got to persuade mother.

DON : You leave her to me.

They exit.

SCENE EIGHT: THE PRESS CONFERENCE

A very large poster drops down. It’s S TELLA and B ARBARA , the picture of togetherness asimagined by Andy Warhol.




In front of it walk S TELLA and J ERRY who then take their place at a lectern and address theaudience as if it’s the world’s press. (SFX: Rowdy foreign press.)

JERRY : (Taps microphone, then speaks into it.) Ladies and Gentlemen.Mesdames and Messieurs. Meine Dames unt Meine Dambusters.Welcome to the Stella Winters press conference. Ms. Winters will readout a short statement; then we will answer any questions…and here sheis…

Stella steps up melodramatically.

STELLA

:

My girl was kidnapped six days ago. (She falters.) Excuse me, thetrauma of the past few days has taken its toll. I feel a little faint.Support me, Jerry!

She reaches out for his arm.

JERRY : You’re doing great, Stella!

STELLA: (She reacts, then smiles to the crowd.) This incident has shown us howmuch the world values its own bright young star. Right now I ask onlyone thing. I’d like to meet up with one of those hoodlums face to face.

D ON , S TEVE , C YRIL and E DWIN enter through the auditorium.

DON : Well that shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m one of them.

STELLA: You! You’ve got a nerve turning up here!

Music No. 39: BIG NEW S(Don)

DON : There are two sides to every story and I thought the press would like tohear our side. If it’s news you’re all after, here’s an exclusive…

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?HERE’S SOME NEWS TO HIT THE HEADLINESTELL YOUR PAPERSBETTER HOLD PAGE ONEMMM, I WANT TO MAKE A STATEMENT

I WANT YOU ALL TO HEARLISTEN CLOSELY TO MEFOR THE STORY OF THE YEARTEN INCH BANNER HEADLINES




FOR EVERYONE TO SEEI’M GONNA TO WED THIS GIRL OF MINE

BECAUSE SHE’S IN LOVE WITH ME

STELLA: This is ridiculous. Why, if Barbara were here, she’d tell you it was all apack of lies. If I thought for even one second, my daughter loved thatboy I’d happily drop all charges.

BARBARA : Well, I do love him, Mother.

JERRY : Taxi!

DON : HERE’S ANOTHER STATEMENTTO ALL OF YOU HERE TODAYWHEN YOU GET MY STORYTHEN PRINT THE WORDS I SAYI’VE FOUND A PLAN FOR LIVINGTO LAST ME ALL THROUGH LIFEI’M GONNA TAKE THAT GIRL OF MINEAND THEN MAKE HER MY WIFE

STELLA: Over my dead body!

JERRY : Don’t give ’em any ideas, Stella.

Apparently from nowhere an official looking man appears.

W RIGHTMORE : Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. Donald Preston?

DON : Ah, yes.

W RIGHTMORE : Oh, congratulations. My name’s Wrightmore. I’m with the BritishConsul here. I’m glad I caught you - this telegram’s for you.

He hands him a telegram.

DON : (Opening it) How did you know we were here?

W RIGHTMORE : Well, you’ve caused quite a sensation. The sight of a London Bus

travelling on the continent has aroused tremendous curiosity and thepress have been playing it big.




DON : (Reading aloud) “London Transport congratulate you - Stop - Futurefunding now available - Stop.” That’s it, guys. We’re in business. Next

year the sky’s the limit.

STELLA: Business…sky’s the limit…what you need is…

JERRY : Stella, NO!!

STELLA: What you need is…each other.

DON : Double Decker Tours will be ready for business in about two weeks’

time. First, we’re going to have the holiday we set out to have!

They all pose for a major press photo call. Flashbulbs going off everywhere.

ALL : BIG NEWS, BIG NEWS, BIG NEWS,BIG NEWS, HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS?

Blackout.

SCENE NINE: ON THE BEACH.

A glitter slash curtain drops in, a sign to the right of it announcing that Do Re Mi areopening tonight. The manager of the Halkidiki Tropicana Lounge gets on the mike.

V/O: And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, direct from London Town – Do, Re,Mi!

Music No. 40: I M THE LO NELY ONE(Angie, Mimsie, Alma)

One by one, the G IRLS appear through the curtain. They have really got it together - theyare brilliant. They have now matured and become a full professional outfit.

A./M./A.: WELL YOU DON’T KNOW,WELL YOU DON’T KNOWHOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO MEI SAID GOODBYEI LEFT YOU THERE TO CRY

WELL YOU DON’T KNOW,HOW MUCH I’VE MISSED YOU SOBUT NOW IT’S DONEWELL I’M THE LONELY ONE




YOU HEARD ME SAYUPON THAT RAINY DAY

PLEASE SET ME FREE,’CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO KNOWWELL YOU DON’T KNOWHOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO MEI SAID GOODBYEI LEFT YOU THERE TO CRY

WELL YOU DON’T KNOWHOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

I LOVE YOU SO, BABY COME ON HOMEI HOPE AND PRAYTHAT YOU’LL COME BACK SOMEDAYI’VE HAD MY FUNNOW I’M THE LONELY ONE

ANGIE : Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the HalkidikiTropicana Lounge revue…I’m Angie.

ALMA : I’m Alma.

M IMSIE: I’m Mimsie.

A./M./A.: And together we are…

ANGIE : Do…

ALMA : Re…

M IMSIE: Mi…but were here for Y.O.U.

YOU DON’T KNOWHOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO MEI LOVE YOU SO, BABY COME ON HOMEI HOPE AND PRAYTHAT YOU’LL COME BACK SOMEDAYI’VE HAD MY FUNNOW I’M THE LONELY ONE

I’VE HAD MY FUNNOW I’M THE LONELY ONE

Blackout. In the dark the girls celebrate.




BOWS SEQUENCE

Music No. 41: ON T HE BEAC H

(Company)

We hear the sound of a the sea gently lapping the shore. As the lights fade up we find D ON onstage strumming a guitar.

DON : I CAN THINK OF NOTHING BETTERTHAN DANCIN’ ON THE BEACHSEE A GIRL YOU CAN GO AND GET HER

YOUR TROUBLES WILL BE OUT OF REACHON THE BEACHYOU CAN DANCE TO A ROCK AND ROLLHEAR A BOSSA NOVA PLAYED WITH SOULYOU CAN DANCE, TWIST AND SHOUTEVERYBODY HEAR ME COME ON OUTON THE BEACHCOME ON EVERYBODY STOMP YOUR FEETON THE BEACHYOU CAN DANCE WITH ANYONE YOU MEET’CAUSE YOUR TROUBLES ARE OUT OF REACHON THE BEACH

The whole cast run on stage. They have changed into what can only be described as finalecostumes. In the original production they all wore white as a welcome relief from the brightcolours that had gone before, but it can be any unifying change of costume. They throwbeach balls and have beach-type fun.

DON/ALL : I CAN THINK OF NOTHING BETTER

THAN DANCIN’ ON THE BEACHSEE A GIRL YOU CAN GO AND GET HERYOUR TROUBLES WILL BE OUT OF REACH(ON THE BEACH)YOU CAN DANCE TO A ROCK N ROLL(ON THE BEACH)HEAR A BOSSA NOVA PLAYED WITH SOUL(ON THE BEACH)YOU CAN DANCE, TWIST AND SHOUT

(ON THE BEACH)EVERYBODY HEAR ME COME ON OUTON THE BEACHCOME ON EVERYBODY STOMP YOUR FEET




WE’RE GOING WHERE THE SUN SHINES BRIGHTLYWE’RE GOING WHERE THE SEA IS BLUE

WE’VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIESNOW LET’S SEE IF IT'S TRUE

EVERYBODY HAS A SUMMER HOLIDAYDOING THINGS THEY ALWAYS WANTED TOSO WE’RE GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAYTO MAKE OUR DREAM COME TRUE,FOR ME AND YOUMMM, FOR ME AND YOU

MMM, FOR ME AND YOU

Music No. 43: DO Y OU W ANN A DAN CE (Reprise)(Company)

ALL : WELL DO YOU WANNA DANCEAND HOLD MY HAND?SQUEEZE ME BABY, I’M YOUR MANOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHT?SQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?


DO YOU WANNA DANCETO A ROCK AND ROLL BAND?COME ON BABY, GIVE ME YOUR HANDOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

DO YOU WANNA DANCEUNDER THE MOONLIGHTSQUEEZE AND HUG ME ALL THROUGH THE NIGHTOH BABY, DO YOU WANNA DANCE?





DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?DO YOU, DO YOU, DO YOU,DO YOU WANNA DANCE?

Etc.

As the cast leave the stage, the band play their final “Shadows” tune.

M usic No. 44: LES GIRL S(Instrumental)

THE END



ii

MUSICAL NUMBERS

A C T O N E

1. OVERTURE (Instrumental) ..............................................................................................................................................................1Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch, Cliff Richard and Bobby Freeman.

2. FOOT TAPPER (IS IT STILL RAINING) (Wilf, Edwin, Cyril, Steve, Café Customers) .......................................................1Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.Additional lyrics by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan.

3. SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAY - Part 1 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin) .....................................................................................5Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.

4. IN THE COUNTRY (Don, Boys) ....................................................................................................................................................6Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.

5. SEVEN DAYS TO A HOLIDAY - PART 2 (Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Marjorie, Malcolm) .......................................... 14Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.Additional lyrics by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan.

6. SUMMER HOLIDAY (Don) ........................................................................................................................................................... 18Music and Lyrics by Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.

7. SHINDIG (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................................................ 20Music by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.

8. GEE WHIZZ, IT’S YOU (Mimsie, Alma, Angie) ...................................................................................................................... 20Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Ian Samwell.

9. LET US TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE (Cyril, Edwin, Don, Steve, Angie, Alma, Mimsie) .................................................... 23Music and Lyrics by Peter Myers and Ronald Cass.

10. CONSTANTLY(Barbara) ................................................................................................................................................................ 28Music and Lyrics by Saverio Seracini, Vincenzo D’Aquisto and Michael Julien.

11. CONSTANTLY – REPRISE (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................. 31Music and Lyrics by Saverio Seracini, Vincenzo D’Aquisto and Michael Julien.

12. ROUND AND ROUND (Instrumental) ....................................................................................................................................... 32Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.

13. I COULD EASILY FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU (Steve) ........................................................................................................... 32Music and Lyrics by Ian Samwell.

14. SHINDIG (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................................................ 35Music by Hank Marvin and Bruce Welch.

15. THE SAVAGE (Instrumental) ........................................................................................................................................................ 35Music by Norrie Paramor.

16. TIME DRAGS BY (Steve, Cyril, Edwin) ...................................................................................................................................... 35Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch, Brian Bennett and John Rostill.

17. LES GIRLS (Instrumental) ............................................................................................................................................................. 38Music by Hank B. Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett.

18. BACHELOR BOY (Don, Boys) ....................................................................................................................................................... 38Music and Lyrics by Cliff Richard and Bruce Welch.

19. THE SAVAGE (Instrumental) ........................................................................................................................................................ 40Music by Norrie Paramor.

20. LES GIRLS / VALDEREE (Instrumental) ................................................................................................................................... 40Music by Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch and Brian Bennett / Antonio Ridge and Friedrich Moller

21. DANCING SHOES (Angie, Mimsie, Alma) ................................................................................................................................. 41Music and Lyrics by Hank B. Marvin and Bruce Welch.



iv



No. 1 - Overture

Summer Holiday

No. 2 - Foot Tapper (Is It Still Raining?)(Wilf, Edwin, Cyril, Steve, Café Customers)

q = 184

Act I

A

(Instrumental)

2

7

B

Wilf

Edwin

Cyril

Is

Is

it

it

still

still

rain

rain

ing?

ing?

-

-

No

sing 1x only

I'm just

sing 2x only

No I've

20

Wilf

Edwin

Cyril

That's

you need

why

a

you

trip

look

to

such

the

a

vet

drip

d'you

what

want

can I

the

con stant- ly- wet

Runs in the fam

'ly

-

been for a dip

It's all the rage

now

Adaptation © Copyright 2004 by Michael Gyngell and Mark Haddigan Edition © Copyright 2004 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., London PHOTOCOPYING THIS COPYRIGHT MATERIAL IS ILLEGAL

23

Wilf

Edwin

Cyril

us

get

ual?

you?

-

There's no need

for a threat

one

tea

and

toast,

two

su

gars

-

How 'bout an egg

and a chip?

if

that's

not

too

much

trou

ble

-



89 G

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

All

We know, it's rain

ing!

-

We know, it's rain

ing!

-

thats why I'm con

stant- ly- wet

We know, it's rain

ing!

-

think I'll go

for a dip

We know, it's rain

ing!

-

and I've

93

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

i can't be lieve

- it

I need a trip

to the vet

i can't be lieve

- it

that's why I

just washed my hair

i can't be lieve

- it

96

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

It's bleed ing- rain

ing

-

but it's

look such a drip


ing

-

and now I look

like a square


ing

-

Foot Tapper 3



99

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

not o ver- yet

If

we

can

how 'bout two egg

and two chip?

If

that's

not

my quiff 'll- give

'em a scare

I'm

no

thing

-

103 H

Wilf

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

+ All

+ All

But

we

can

ne

ver

- change

it

or

try

to

just

ar

range

- it

But

we

can

ne

ver

- change

it

or

try

to

too much trou ble-

But we can ne ver- change it or

try

to

like

Bugs

Bun

ny

-

But

we

can

ne

ver

- change

it

or

try

to

109

Wilf

Edwin

Cyril

Steve

re+ All

ar

- range- it

it

looks

like

we'll

be

stay ing

- here

re

ar

- range

- it

it

looks

like

we'll

be

stay

ing

- here

re

ar

- range

- it

it

looks

like

we'll

be

stay

ing

- here

re arrange- it it

looks like we'll be stay ing- here

Foot Tapper 4



= 160

No. 3 - Seven Days To A HolidayPart 1

(Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin)

CyrilEdwinSteve

Don

Cue: Steve: "Who?" Edwin / Cyril: "Don!"

got

Stevewhat?

i

got it

got this

11

C/E/S

Don

o

Cyril

kay?

-

o

Edwin

kay- to what?

bus,

lon don- trans

port- said

o kay

-

o kay- to

15

C/E/S

Don

with

Steve

use this bus for tran

sport- on our

ho

li- day-

they're

with it

18

C/E/S

Don

what?

what

Cyril

plan?

that's

Edwin

right, what

with the plan

i have lan

ded- them to day

-

22 molto rall.

C/E/S

Don

plan?

UNDERSCORE

if we can do it once, they'll back us all the way

5



q = 160

No. 4 - In The Country

(Don, Boys)

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

2nd Time Only

when the

Ba

f ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

p

Ba

f ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

p

Ba

f

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

p

6

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

worldwalk

ining

-

whichin

you're the

lici

tyving-

-

andgets a

you'rebitfee

tooling

-

much ra

to

ther- smallbear,

andand

you the

ooh

p ooh

ooh

p ooh

ooh

p ooh

6



10

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

needpeo some

ple

- onone- to

theleanside

onwalk-

whenseem

you to

lookform

there'sa no

so one

lid--

therewall

You're gon na- find

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

14

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

me,

out in the coun

try

-

yea

you're gon na- find

ba

f

ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba

f

ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba

f

ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

In The Country 7



18

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

me,

way out

in the coun

try-

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

21

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Where the air

is

good

and the day

is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the day

is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the day

is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the day

is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her

In The Country 8



25

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

hand in mine the sil

ver

- stream is a poor man's wine

hand in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a poor

man's

wine

hand in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a poor

man's

wine

hand in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a poor

man's

wine

29

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

in the coun

try

-

in the coun

try

-

If

(1x only)

you're Hur

ry

- hur

ry- hur

-

in the coun

try

-

ooh

in the coun

try

-

ooh

in the coun

try

-

ooh

In The Country 9



35

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

ry- foR the time is slip ping- by you don't need a tic ket- it be -

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

ooh

40

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

longs

to

you

and i

Come on and join

me,

hey,

out in the coun

-

ah

f

ba ba ba ba

ah

f ba ba ba ba

ah

f

ba ba ba ba

In The Country 10



44

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

try-

Where the air is

good and the

ba ba ba ba

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the

ba ba ba ba

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the

ba ba ba ba

Where

p

the air

is

good

and the

51

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

day is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her hand

in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a

day is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her hand

in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a

day is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her hand

in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a

day is

fine

and the pret

ty

- girl

has her hand

in

mine

the sil

ver

- stream

is a

In The Country 11



55

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

poor man's wine

in the coun

try,

- in the coun

try

-

poor

man's

wine

in the coun

try

-

poor

man's

wine

in the coun

try

-

poor

man's

wine

in the coun

try

-

61

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

In The Country 12



65 a capella molto rit.

Don

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

baba ba ba

3

ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

baba

ba

ba

3

ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

baba

ba

ba

3

ba

Ba

ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba

baba

ba

ba

3

ba

In The Country 13



q = 160

Repeat till Cue - Don: "And that's about it... we've just got..."'

No. 5 - Seven Days To A HolidayPart 2

(Don, Steve, Cyril, Edwin, Fellas)

Se

DON

ven- days

to

a ho

li- day-

5

and there's such a lot

to

do

Come

on fel

las,

- it's up

to you

9

we're

in

an

3

aw

ful- stew

get

us out

of

a

3

spot

Are you with

us

or

13

not?

Six

EDWIN

days

to

a ho

li- day-

19

and i can't be lieve

- it's

true

Of course

i 'm ner

vous,

- i'll miss

my mum

and

23

cros

sing

- the

3

chan

nel

- to

3

france

is

a

3

ve

ry

- big

3

step

i think i'll phone

from

di

-

27

eppe Five

DON

more days just five more days to fix up do zens- of

14



32

Let's

othersspring clean it

from front

to rear,

things

Let's

spring clean

it

from front

to rear,

yes

marjorie

I'll

clean

all

the

36

yeah

others

Four

days

to

a ho

li- day-

springs

Four

cyril

days

to

a ho

li- day-

41

and you know i just

can't

wait

to lounge

a round-

on

a sun

ny- beach

To

45

dip

in

the

3

bri

ny,

- get

3

all

nice

and

3

shi

ny

- and

3

tan

Its all

you can do

at

Cannes

49

Three

DON

days to a ho li- day-

Seven Days To A Holiday - Part 2 15



53

and though sun ny- skies are blue,

by

the time that

it leaves

our shed

57

our

bus

will

3

be

bright red

and

we know

that

we

3

will...

Paint

malcolm

Pa ree

- red der-

61

still

Two

steve

days

to

a ho

li- day-

St. Tro pez's- the place

to

66

be

It's full

of film

stars,

a ma

- zing- birds

Per haps

- I'll

be

3

picked

from the

70

crowd

to ap pear

- in

a

3

flick

with a gor

geous

- French

3

chick

74

One

don

more day just one more day so

we must not waste an hour

79

Come

otherson, let's

get

the plumb

ing- in

Come on, let's get the plumb ing- in, gor bli mey,- what a shower!




83

yeah

Off

all

we go on our ho li- day

Thanks to you our plan came

Off

don

we go

on

our ho

li- day

Thanks to you our plan

came

88

through

We'll

es cape-

from

the wind

and hail

Per haps

- there's a fai

ry- tale

through

We'll

es cape-

from

the wind

and hail

Per haps

- there's a fai

ry- tale

92

that's

a bout

- to

ap

3

pear

-

now our ho

li- day's

-

that's

a bout

- to

ap

3

pear

-

now our ho

li- day's

-

95

here

now our ho

li- day's

- here

here

now our ho li- day's - here




q = 132

No. 6 - Summer Holiday

(Don, Boys)

WE'RE

don

ALL

GO ING- ON

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

8

NO MORE WOR

KIN'- FOR

A

WEEK OR

TWO

FUN

AND

LAUGH TER- ON

OUR

11

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

- NO MORE

WOR

RIES- FOR

ME

OR

YOU

FOR A WEEK

OR

15

TWO

WE'RE GO

ING- WHERE

THE SUN

SHINES BRIGHT

LY

-

WE'RE GO

IN'- WHERE

THE SEA

IS

3

19

BLUE

WE'VE SEEN

IT IN

THE MO

VIES-

NOW LET'S

SEE

IF

IT'S

23

TRUE

EV

'RY

- BO- DY- HAS

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

DO IN'- THINGS

THEY AL

WAYS-

MM

Boys

MM27

WAN TED

- TO

SO

WE'RE

GO IN'- ON

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

TO MAKE

OUR DREAM

COME

MM

18



31

TRUE

FOR ME

AND

YOU

MM

43

WE'RE

don

GO

IN'- WHERE

THE SUN

SHINES BRIGHT

LY

-

WE'RE GO

IN'- WHERE

THE SEA

IS

3

47

BLUE

WE'VE SEEN

IT IN

THE MO

VIES

-

NOW LET'S

SEE

IF

IT'S

BLUE

WE'VE SEEN

IT IN

THE MO

VIES

-

NOW LET'S

SEE

IF

IT'S

51

TRUE

(All)

don

EV 'RY- BO

- DY- HAS

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

54

DO IN'- THINGS

THEY AL

WAYS-

WAN TED

- TO

SO

WE'RE

GO IN'- ON

A

57

SUM MER- HO LI- DAY - TO MAKE

OUR DREAMS COME TRUE FOR ME AND

OO

61 molto rall.

YOU

MMM

don + Boys

FOR ME

AND YOU YOU

don

MMM

FOR

ME

AND

YOU

Summer Holiday 19



q = 168

(Mimsie, Alma, Angie)

(Instrumental)

No. 8 - Gee Whizz, It’s You

No. 7 - Shindig (Underscore)

Lead Vocal

Backing Vocals

Well,

yeah yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

yeah

6

who's

that a wal

- kin'

- down

the street

pic kin'- up

those

din ky- lit tle- feet?

ooh

ah

ooh

-

10

Who's the one

that

cat ches- my

eye

ev' ry- time

he

pas

ses- by?

ooh

ah

ooh

- pas

ses- by?

14

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

E ver- since

we

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

yeh yeh

yeh

20



19

said good bye- all be cause - of a lit tle- white lie

yea yea

yea

yea yea

yea

yea yea

yea

22

let me tell

you

why

we par

ted-

Let me tell

you

what

my heart

said

yeah yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

yeah

yeah yeah

yeah

ah

26

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

you're the one

that

makes

me blue

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

you're the one

that

makes

me blue

30

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

You're

the

one

who

can't

be

true

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

You're

the

one

who

can't

be

true

Gee Whizz, It's You 21



repeat over dialogue until cue:

"Together we are, do re mi...."

34

"5, 6, 7, 8..."

Lit tle- dar lin'- won't you hear my plea "5, 6, 7, 8..."

Lit tle- dar

lin'- won't you hear

my plea

38

won't you please

come

back

to me

We can pick

up

where

we star

ted-

won't you please

come

back

to me

ooh

42

lis ten- now

to

what

my heart

said

mmm

Gee

whizz

it's

you

ah

mmm

Gee

whizz

it's

you

47

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

Ta Da!

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

Gee

whizz,

it's

you

Ta Da!

Gee Whizz, It's You 22



q. = 76

No. 9 - Let Us Take You For A Ride

(Cyril, Edwin, Don, Steve, Angie, Alma, Mimsie)

The

Cyril

bush

u pon

-

the ro

tor- pump

is

7

pushed

in to

-

the floa

ter- sump

it's wear

ing-

out

the grun

nion- teeth

by

9

bear ing-

on

the cog

be neath-

which

Edwin

means

in terms

of ten

sion- swings

the

11

seams

of your

sus pen

- sion- springs

in cyc

lic- thirds

are set

a part-

in

Don

13

h = 160

ve ry-

sim ple-

words,

dear la

dies,

-

your car

won't

start

Boys

sO

we're

ma

-

16

king

- this

of fer,- come

ride

with us, come

ride

with us

23

through

the

coun

try

- side

- with

us

for

our

28

bus has ev 'ry- com fort- in3

side- we are3

23



34

plea

ding- please

3

let us take

3

you for a

3

ride

q = 17041

q = 160 (a tad slower)

ANGIE: "Girls? Well as far as I can see . . ."

glock + pizz. str.

61

you

Girls

69

know we would n't- be

sur prised,- that gas

ket- hood looks pul

ve- rised- the

71

shock re coil- is now

re versed- you'll need

our roll tin- re

im- bursed- com

-

73

pres sion- seep will soon

dis tend- the leak

that leaks in our

big end the

the

Boys

75

lou sy- coke Has got

a hitch a round

- the choke ad just

- ment- switch the

lou sy- coke Has got a hitch a round - the choke ad just - ment- switch the

Let Us Take You For A Ride 24



77

pis ton- spout is dy

na- mite- and cut

ting- out the par

king- light and

pis ton- spout is dy

na- mite-

and cut

ting- out the par

king- light and

79 q. = 70

from its shake your out

side- brake is nee

ding- a new drum

in

from its shake your out

side- brake is nee

ding- a new drum

in

81

h = 160

fact

21

make no

mis take

- we've real

ly-

had

it chum

fact

31

make no

mis take

- you've real

ly-

had

it chum

so

Don Ride

with

us

84

so

Steve

ride

with

us

so

Edwin

ride

with

us

come

ride ride

withwith

usus

so

Cyril

ride

with

us

come

ride

with

us

you'll

be

(Don)

come ride with us you'll be sat is- fied- with us




90

Girls

past the fo rest- and the ri ver- side-

past

the

fo

rest

-

and

the

ri

ver

- side

-

pastpast

the the

fofo

rest

--

and

the

ri

ver

- side

-

sat

is

- fied

- with

us

and

the

ri

ver

- side

-

past

the

fo

rest

-

and

the

ri

ver

- side

-

97

that's

Girls

rea

lly

- na

tion

- wide

-

Boys

Take

a

tour

with

us

that's

rea

lly

- na

tion

- wide

-

104 With Swing (1/2 time feel)

Boys

For

as

3

guides

we're

rea

lly

qua

li

- fied

-

you

will

be

com

-

110

plete ly- sa tis- fied- for when3

you have tried youyou will3

say wide eyed-




116

Girls

we

(8vb opt)

are just what

the doc

tor- spe

ci- fied- we're re pea

- ting

- please

3

Boyswe

are

just

what

the

doc

tor

- spe

ci

- fied

-

we're

re

pea

- ting

- please

3

122

let

us

take

3

you

For

a

ride

with

us

let

us

take

3

you

For

a

ride

with

us

128

ride

with

us

ride

with

us

139 molto rall.

Please

let

us

take

you

for

a

ride

Please

let

us

take

you

for

a

ride

145

Play 3x Boys: "athens!"




q = 98

(Barbara)

No. 10 - Constantly

Barbara

BackingVocals

ALL

DAY

I'M WAL

KIN'- IN A DREAM

I THINK

A BOUT- YOU

9

CON

STANT- LY

-

JUST LIKE

AN E

VER- FLOW ING- STREAM

YOUR MEM

'RY- HAUNTS ME

13

CON

STANT- LY

-

SHA DOWS- FALL

AND I TRY

TO DRIVE

YOU FROM MY

AH

AH

16

MIND

SO YOU'RE

NO LONG ER- NEAR

TO ME

BUT MY HEART

SEES

YOU

3

NEAR

TO ME

NEAR

TO ME

28



19

THERE WITH ME EV 'RY- SUN SET- YOU

3

SHARE WITH ME THE

THERE

WITH ME

SHARE

WITH ME

THERE

WITH ME

SHARE

WITH ME

23

RAIN

THAT PAT

TERS- THROUGH THE TREES

RE MINDS

- ME OF YOU CON

STANT- LY

-

26

YOUR NAME

IS WHIS

PERED- BY THE BREEZE

AND LOVE

BIRDS- BRING YOUR

29

SONG TO ME JUST AS SURE AS THE STARS KEEP BURN ING- IN THE

AH

AH

Constantly 29



32

SKY

YOUR LOVE WILL STAY A FLAME - IN ME A FLAME THAT BURNS SO

FLAME

IN ME

FLAME

IN ME

35

BRIGHT,

NOT ON

LY- THROUGH THE NIGHT

BUT CON

STANT- LY

-

JUST AS SURE

AS THE

39

STARS

KEEP BURN

ING- IN THE SKY

YOUR LOVE

WILL STAY A FLAME

- IN ME

AH

FLAME

IN ME

AH

FLAME

IN ME

42

A FLAME

THAT BURNS SO BRIGHT,

NOT ON

LY- THROUGH THE NIGHT

BUT

Constantly 30



45

CON STANT- LY - THOUGH WE MAY BE FAR

A

-

49

PART

YOU'RE

CON

STANT- LY

-

DEEP

IN

MY

53 rall.

HEART

Ah

Ah

(Instrumental with Backing Vocals only)

No. 11 - Constantly (Reprise)

Cue - Stella: "Ok...from the middle of the bridge!!"

AH

FLAME

IN ME

CON

STAN- TLY

-

AH

FLAME

IN ME

CON

STAN- TLY

-

Constantly 31



No. 12 - Round And Round(Instrumental)

q = 152 Swing

PLAY 3X

No. 13 - I Could Easily Fall In Love With You(Steve, Band)

Steve

Band

BackingVocals

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

(Drums)

handclaps

6

Steve

B/V

DON'T

IF

YOU

E VER

SHOULD

- CHANGE

TELL

THAT

ME

SMILE

THAT

YOU'RE

I'LL

SMIL

AL

ING

WAYS

-

-

NOW

BE

10

Steve

B/V

AND THE

PLEASEONE

DON'TYOU'LL

LETAL

ME

WAYS

-

SEELOVE

YOUSO

BLUE TRUE

THEN THEN

II

CANCAN

TELL TELL

YOUYOU

OHI

SO

COULD

16

Steve

Band

EAEA

SISI

--

LYLY

--

II

COULDCOULD

EAEA

SISI

--

LYLY

--

FALLFALL

ININ

LOVELOVE

WITHWITH

YOU

I COULD EA SI- LY- FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU

32



21 2

Steve

B/V

YOU I'VE BEEN TOO

LONG

ON MY

OOH

Sing 2nd Time only (Boys 8va)

26

Steve

B/V

OWN SOME- NOW,

I'VE

BEEN TOO

LONG

BY MY

SELF-

OOH

31

Steve

Band

B/V

I

COULD N'T

- FEEL

MORE

LONE

SOME

- NOW,

IF I

IF I

OOH

36

Steve

Band

B/V

WAS LEFT

ON THE

SHELF

WAS LEFT

ON THE

SHELF

AH

handclaps

I Could Easily Fall In Love With You 33



40

Steve

B/V

IT

DON'T WAS

E N'T

VER

-

-

LONG

CHANGE A

THE GO

SMILE

- I

YOU'RE SAW

SMI

YOU

LIN' -

THERE

NOW

handclaps

44

Steve

B/V

AND BUT

PLEASEE

VENDON'T

- THEN

LET

I

ME

THOUGHT

SEE

I

YOU

KNEW BLUE

THAT THEN

GII

VENCAN

-

49

Steve

Band

HALF

TELL

AYOU

CHANCE

OH

I'DSO

EAEA

SISI

--

LYLY

--

II

COULDCOULD

EAEA

SISI

--

LYLY

-- FALL

FALL

ININ

LOVELOVE

WITHWITH

YOU

I

COULD

EA

SI

- LY

- FALL

IN

LOVE

WITH

YOU

55 2

Steve

Band

YOU

I

COULD

EA

SI

- LY

- FALL

IN

LOVE

WITH

YOU

YOU

I

COULD

EA

SI

- LY

- FALL

IN

LOVE

WITH

YOU

61

Band

B/V

AHAH HA

AH HA

AH HA

AH HA

handclaps

I Could Easily Fall In Love With You 34



46

sit u- a- tions- such as these if there is then tell us please

sit

u

- a

- tions

- such as

these

if

there

is

then

tell us

please

ain't

got

no

-

51

ain't

got

no

where to

go

no

bo

- dy

- wants

to know

and

where

where

to go

no

bo

- dy

- wants

wants

to know

and

55

time

drags

by

real

slow,

time

drags

by

real

slow

time

drags

by

real

slow,

time

drags

by

real

slow

62

don't you just know

that

time

drags

by

real

slow

don't you just know

that

time

drags

by

real

slow

slow

Time Drags By 37



(Instrumental)

(Don, Boys)

q. = 63

No. 18 - Bachelor Boy

No. 17 - Les Girls

colla voce

Don

BackingVocals

WHEN I WAS YOUNG

MY FA

THER- SAID,

"SON I HAVE SOME

THING- TO

9

SAY"

AND WHAT HE TOLD

ME I 'LL NE

VER- FOR GET

- UN TIL

- MY DY

ING- DAY

HE SAID,

a tempo14

"SON

YOU ARE A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

AND THAT'S

THE WAY

TO STAY

SON,

YOU BE A

19

REPEAT TILL CUE:

"Don't allow a woman to own you"

BACH E- LOR- BOY

UN TIL

YOUR DY

IN'- DAY"

25

WHEN I WAS SIX

TEEN- I FELL

IN LOVE

WITH A GIRL

AS SWEET

AS CAN BE

29

BUT I RE MEM

- BERED- JUST

IN TIME

WHAT MY DAD

DY- SAID

TO ME

HE SAID

38



33

"SON,

YOU ARE A BACH E- LOR- BOY AND THAT'S THE WAY

TO STAY

37

REPEAT TILL CUE:

"Oh yes. I'd forgotten""

SON,

YOU BE A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

UN TIL

- YOUR DY

IN'- DAY"

43

AS TIME GOES BY

I PRO

BAB- LY- WILL

MEET A GIRL

AND

47

FALL IN LOVE

THEN I'LL GET MAR

RIED- HAVEA A

WIFE AND A

CHILD AND

50

THEY'LL BE MY TUR

TLE- DOVES

BUT UN TIL- THEN

I'LL BE A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

AND

+ Boys

THEN

I'LL BE A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

AND

54

THAT'S THE WAY

I'LL STAY

HAP PY- TO BE

A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

UN

-

THAT'S

THE WAY

I'LL STAY

HAP PY- TO BE

A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

UN

-

Bachelor Boy 39



58

TIL MY DY IN'- Day

BUT UN TIL-

THEN

I'LL BE A BACH E- LOR- BOY

AND

TIL

MY DY

IN'- Day

THEN

I'LL BE A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

AND

62

THAT'S THE WAY

I'LL STAY

HAP PY- TO BE

A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

UN

-

THAT'S

THE WAY

I'LL STAY

HAP PY- TO BE

A BACH

E- LOR- BOY

UN

-

66

(Instrumental)

(Instrumental)

No. 20 - Les Girls / Valderee

No. 19 - The Savage

TIL

MY DY

IN'- DAY

TIL

MY DY

IN'- DAY

Bachelor Boy 40



q = 172

(Angie, Mimsie, Alma)

No. 21 - Dancing Shoes

CUE - Don: "So are we all in? Then let's go! A-1,2,3,4!!"...

(DRUMS)

YOU

Angie

MUST HAVE HEARD

OF A LIT

- TLE- BO

PEEP

SHE WAS THE GIRL

WITH ALL

9

THE SHEEP

WELL ONE DAY, IT'S A SAD - TO SAY

THE SHEEP

ALL

RAN

A

WAY

-

14

SHE WAS LONE

LY- AND

SHE WAS

BLUE

SHE WAS SAD

AND A CRY

- IN'

- TOO

AND

18

SO

I

TOLD

HER

WHAT

TO DO

I SAID PUT

ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'

- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

Mimsie, Alma

PUT ON

YOUR

23

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

27

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

AND DANCE

A

WAY

- YOUR

BLUES

DAN CIN'- SHOES AND DANCE

A WAY- YOUR BLUES

41



34

Mimsie

A FRIEND OF MINE HAD AN AC CI- DENT- LAUGHED

SOHARD, OFF THE WALL HE WENT

OOH

Angie, Alma

OOH

38

A HUMP- TY- DUMP

TY

-

WAS HIS

NAME

I GUESS

YOU

HEARD

THE

SAME

OOH

42

HE WAS LY

ING

- ON

- THE

GROUND

A BITS- AND PIE

CES

- ALL

A ROUND

SO I TOLD

HIM

OOH

OOH

OOH

47

WHAT

TO DO

I SAID

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'

- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

52

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

AND DANCE

A

WAY

- YOUR

PUT ON YOUR DAN CIN'- SHOES PUT ON YOUR DAN CIN'- SHOES AND DANCE A WAY- YOUR

Dancing Shoes 42



57

BLUES

Kazoo (Comb & Paper?)

BLUES

62

67

72

Alma

I'M SURE YOU KNOW

A BOUT

- JACK

AND

JILL

OOH

Angie, Mimsie

JACK AND

JILL

80

THEY'RE THE ONES

THAT WENT

UP

THE

HILL

JACK

FELL DOWN

AND A- BROKE

HIS

CROWN

AH

UP THE

HILL

FELL DOWN

AND A- BROKE

HIS

CROWN

84

JILL

CAME

TUM

BLIN'

- AF

TER

-

WHAT A NOISE

THEIR

CRY IN'

- MADE

IT WAS A RING

- IN'

-

JILL CAME TUM BLIN'- AF TER- WHAT A NOISE THEIR CRY IN'- MADE AH

(breathy)

Dancing Shoes 43



89

THROUGH THE GLADE SO I TOLD THEM WHAT TO DO AND I CHANGED THEIR TEARS TO

OOH

AH

93

LAUGH

TER

-

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

Girls & Everyone else

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

97

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

AND DANCE

A

WAY

- YOUR

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR DAN

CIN'- SHOES

AND DANCE

A

WAY

- YOUR

101

BLUES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

CIN'

- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

-

BLUES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

CIN'

- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

-

105

CIN'

- SHOES

PUT ON

YOUR

DAN

CIN'

- SHOES

CIN'- SHOES

PUT ON YOUR

DAN

CIN'- SHOES

Dancing Shoes 44



q = 228

No. 22 - We Say Yeah

(Don)

Don

MOM

MY

- SAYS

NO

DAD

DY

- SAYS

NO

9

BRO

THER

- SAYS

NO

BUT

THEY

ALL

GOT

TO

GO

'CAUSE

WE

SAY

13

YEAH

WE

SAY

YEAH

WE

SAY

YEAH

YEAH

Backing VocalsYEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

18

WE

SAY

YEAH

IF

WE

YEAH

YEAH

23

AIM

MOV

DID

N'T

IN'

-

- GO

UP

FOR

A

THE

HEAD

SKY

FRONT

-

IF

WE THOUGHT

SING

KEEP

ON

OF

IN'

-

ALL

OUR

SHOOT

THEY

IN'

- HIGH

SAID

SONG

27

FOR

MIGHT

GET

ALL

-

AS

A

THE

WELL

BOUT

ONES

-

GIVE

THOSE

THEY

PROB

UP

TAUGHT

LEMS

US

MAN

- BA

WE

THEY'RE

BY

-

MIGHT

ALL

DON'T

AS

JUST

WELL

DEAD

SIT

BE

AND

AND

DEADDEAD

GONE

SIGH

OH

WE

SAY

45



31

YEAH WE SAY YEAH WE SAY YEAH WE SAY

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

37

2

3

YEAH

WE'RE A -

WE'LL

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

44

tpt.

64

MMMMM

70

NOW

MOM

MY

- SAYS

YEAH

AND

DAD

DY

- SAYS

YEAH

We Say Yeah 46



75

BRO

THER

- SAYS YEAH WELL MAY BE- THEY'RE

NOT

SO SQUARE WE ALL

SAY

79

YEAH

WE ALL

SAY

YEAH

WE

SAY

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

YEAH

End of Act 1

84

WE

SAY

YEAH

Barbara's baseball cap comes off and her long hair flops down.

The music "falls apart" and comes to a stop as the party stops.

Cyril: "You need a

haircut, mate!"

YEAH

YEAH

We Say Yeah 47



(Instrumental)

q = 168

No. 24 - Move It

No. 23 - Shindig

Act II

(Edwin)

Edwin

The lead guitarist plays the first three notes of ‘Move It’ to Edwin as a challenge (think ‘Duelling Banjos’ from ‘Deliverance’).Edwin plays them back. The guitarist plays some more, Edwin plays it back. Before we know it we are into the song.

(Guitar)

8

COME ON

PRET TY- BA

BY- LET'S A MOVE

- IT AND A GROOVE

- IT!

11

SHAKE, OH BA BY- SHAKE,

BUT HO NEY- PLEASE DON'T LOSE

IT

16

THE RHY

THM- THAT GETS

IN TO- YOUR HEART

AND SOUL

20

WELL LET ME TELL YOU BA

BY- IT'S CALLED ROCK

AND ROLL

24

THEY SAY

IT'S GON NA- DIE

BUT HO NEY- PLEASE

LET'S

FACE

IT

28

THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT'S A GO - IN'- TO RE PLACE IT

48



32

WELL

BAL LADS- AND CA LYP - SOS- HAVE GOT NO THIN' - ON

A

35

REAL COUN TRY- MU

SIC- THAT JUST

DRIVES

A LONG

-

38

WELL A MOVE

- IT

Gtr.

43

47

51

COME ON

PRET TY- BA

BY- LET'S A MOVE

- IT AND A GROOVE

- IT

61

SHAKE OH BA BY- SHAKE

BUT HO NEY- PLEASE

DON'T

LOSE

IT A HUH

- HUH-

66

THE RHY

THM- THAT GET'S

IN TO- YOUR HEART

AND SOUL

Move It 49



71

LET ME TELL YOU BA

BY- IT'S CALLED ROCK

AND ROLL

THEY75

SAY IT'S GON NA- DIE

BUT HO NEY- PLEASE

LET'S

FACE

IT

THEY

79

JUST

DON'T

KNOW

WHAT's A GO

- IN'- TO RE PLACE

- IT

WELL

83

BAL LADS- AND CA LYP

- SOS- HAVE GOT NO

THIN'

- ON

A REAL

COUN TRY- MU

SIC- THAT JUST

86

DRIVES

A LONG

-

A HO- NEY- MOVE

IT

90

A HO- NEY- MOVE

IT

WELL

A

93 molto rall.

MOVE IT

Move It 50



C Beguine

34

We'll

Barbara

share a few laughs we'll share an odd date 38

we'll

share a few

kis

ses

- when

it's

grow

ing- late

and

D Swing42

though

the

stars

and

moon

may

shi ine

-

up a

bove-

46

we'll

en

joy

- the

ma

gic

-

but

we

won't

fall

in

love

E50

Barbara

Ours

will be

a ring

a- ding

- ding

just

for

Backing Vocals

Ours

will be

a ring

a- ding

- ding

ooh

55

kicks

we

two

will

have

our

fling

and

we'll

have

fun

while there's time

to

and

we'll

have

fun

while there's time

to

A Swinging Affair 52



105

be

Barbara

just for kicks we

be

Don

a ring

a- ding

- ding

we

Backing Vocals

we

110

two

will

have

our

fling

two

will

have

our

fling

and

we'll

pre

tend- we are

not

a ware-

two

will

have

our

fling

115 I

This

is

more,

so

much

more

than

a

3

swing

inging- af

3

fair

-

This

is

more,

so

much

more

than

a

3

swing

inging

- af

3

fair

-

This

is

more,

so

much

more

than

a

3

swing

inging

- af

3

fair

-

A Swinging Affair 54



q = 148 rock'n'roll swing

Bell note on kiss

(Edwin, Alma, Angie, Cyril, Mimsie, Steve)

No. 28 - I've Got A Funny Feeling

(Instrumental)

No. 26 - The Frightened City (Underscore) / No. 27 - Shindig

Vamp under dialogue

until kiss

CUE- Edwin: "You're mad".

Alma kisses him on the cheek.

I’ve

edwingot a fun ny- feel

ing- that I’m fall

ing- in love

with

you

6

I’ve

Alma

got a fun ny- fee

ling- that I’m fall

ing- in love

with

you

10

edwin

ev’ ry- day

and night

I dream

of

dreams

of

you

Alma

ev’ ry- day

and night

I dream

of

dreams

of

you

14

Yes, I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

Yes, I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

Repeat Until Cue "Course I Have. It's A Dance, Isn't It?"

19

55



20

Angie

Umm, my

heart goes bob bin’- ev ry- time I get a sight of you

Cyril

Umm, my

heart

goes

bob bin’- ev ry- time

I get a sight

of

you

24

my heart goes bob bin’- ev 'ry- time I get a sight of you

my

heart

goes

bob bin’- ev 'ry- time

I get a sight

of

you

28

Just say the word and tell me that I’ll do ‘Cause I

Just

say

the word

and tell

me

that

I’ll

do

‘Cause I

33 Dialogue

got a fun ny- feel ing- that I’m fall ing- in love with you

got a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

45

Steve

I've

got a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

I've Got A Funny Feeling 56



49

I’ve

got a fun ny- feel

ing- that I’m fall ing- in love

with you

53

Ev’ ry- day

and night

I dream

of

dreams

of

you

57

Yes, I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

Repeat Until Cue "I've got a funny feeling too"

62

63

Alma & Angie

ooh

I got a feel

in'-

i'm

Edwin & Cyril

ooh I got a feel in'- i'm

Mimsie

I've

got a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you

Steve

I've

got a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you




67

fall ing- in love

ooh

fall ing- in love

ooh

I’ve got a fun ny- feel ing- that I’m fall ing- in love

with you

I’ve

got a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with you

70

ä fun ny- feel

in'- I'm in love

with you

Ah

ä fun ny- feel

in'- I'm in love

with you

Ah

Ev’ ry- day

and night

I dream

of

dreams

of

Ev’ ry- day

and night

I dream

of

dreams

of




74

Yes I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

Yes I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

you Yes, I got a fun ny- feel ing- that I’m fall ing- in love with

you

Yes, I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

with

78

Repeat till bus screeches to a halt

you

YesYes I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

I

you

YesYes I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

I

you

Mimsie: "Watch out for those girls standing in the road!"

you

Yes,Yes, I got

a fun ny- feel


ing- in love

I




q = 152 SWING

No. 29 - Living Doll

(Barbara, Boys, Girls - Unaccompanied vocals)

Barbara

3 Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

Finger clicks throughout. . . . . . . . .



ooh


ooh

doo

doo

den- doo den- doo

doo

den- doo den- doo

doo

den- doo den-

4

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

falsetto

ooh

doo

doo

den- doo den- doo

doo

den- doo den- doo

doo

den- doo den-

60



7

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

CUE - Barbara: "Now say it all together".

Bride / Bridesmaids: "Li...ving... d.....oll?"

Got my self- a cry

ing

- talk

ing- sleep

ing

- walk

ing-

ah

ba

ba

ba

ba

ah

ba ba ba ba

ah

ba

ba

ba

ba

doo doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

11

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

liv ing

- doll

Got to do my best

to

please

her

just

'cause

she's

a

ooh

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

Living Doll 61



15

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

liv in'

- doll

got a rov in'- eye

and

that

is why

she

sa

tis- -

ooh

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh liv in'- doll ba ba ba ba

ooh

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

19

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

fies my

soul

got the one and on

ly

- walk

in'

-

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

ah

sa tis

- fies-

my soul

on

ly

- walk

in'

-

Living Doll 62



22

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

talk in'-

liv in'- doll

Take a look at her

ba

ba

ba

talk in'-

liv in'

- doll

25

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

hair

it's real

if you don't

be lieve-

what I say

just

ooh

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

Living Doll 63



28

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

feel

gon na- lock her

up

in a trunk

so no

big hunk

can

wa

ooh

wa

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

wa

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

wa

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

doo doo

wa

gon na- lock

her

doo doo

doo doo

doodoo doo

doodoo doo

31

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

steal her a way-

from

me

got my self- a cry

ing

- talk

ing

-

from

me

oo be- doo

- we-

doo doo

from

me

ba

ba

doo doo

from

me

ba

ba

doo doo

from

me

ba

ba

doodoodoo doo

doodoodoo doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

Living Doll 64



34

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

sleep

ing

- walk

ing- liv in'

- doll

Got to do my

doo be- do- wa-

oo be- doo

- we-

doo be- do- wa-

ba

ba

ooh

li vin'-

doll

ba

ba

ooh

li vin'-

doll

ba

ba

ooh

li vin'-

doll

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

37

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

best

to

please

her

just

'cause

she's

a

liv in'

- doll

oo be- doo

- - we

doo be- do- wa-

oo be- doo

- we-

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh

ba

ba

ba

ba

ooh

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

Living Doll 65



40

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

got a rov in'- eye

and

that

is why

she

sa

tis- -

doo be- do- wa-

oo be- doo

- we-

doo be- do- wa-

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

liv in'-

doll

ba

ba

ba

ba

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

doo

43

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

fies my

soul

got the one and on

ly

- wal

kin'

-

oo be- doo

- we-

doo be- do- wa-

oo be- doo

- we-

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

sa tis- fies

- my

soul

ba

ba

ah

sa tis

- fies-

my soul

on

ly

- wal

kin'

-

Living Doll 66



46

Barbara

Girls

Boy 1

Boy 2

Boy 3

Boy 4

talk in'-

liv in'- doll

wa

yeah

ba

yeah

ba

yeah

ba

yeah

talk in'-

liv in'

- doll

Living Doll 67



Rubato q = 150

No. 30 - Lei Vuole Ballare

(All)

Solo

Soprano

Alto

Tenor

Baritone

In the original production the solo part was sung by the musical director.

If this isn't possible, anyone apart from "The Kids" may sing it.

Le i- vu o

- le

-

bal la

- re

- e ti e

- ne

-

la

mi a-

ma

3

-

Ah

Ah

Ah

Ah 8

Solo

S.

A.

T.

B

no?

Spre mer

- me

- il mi e

- le

-

io’m

il

3

Ah

Ah

Ah

Ah

68



15

molto rall.

Solo

S.

A.

T.

B

su

o

- u o

- mo

- Mi o- ca

ro

-

Ah

Ah

Ah

Ah

21

SEGUE: Do You Wanna Dance - Solo voice sings "Well..." through drum intro

Solo

S.

A.

T.

B

le i- vu o

- le

-

bal la

- re? re?

-

Well.....

3

Lei Vuole Ballare 69



q = 168

(All)

No. 31 - Do You Wanna Dance?

(Drums)

WELL

Boys

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

AND

7

HOLD

MY

HAND?

SQUEEZE

ME

BA BY,- I'M

YOUR

MAN

OH

BA

BY,-

11

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WELL DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

UN

DER-

15

THE MOON

LIGHT?

-

SQUEEZE AND HUG

ME ALL

THROUGH THE NIGHT

OH

18

BA

BY,-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

22

DO

Girls

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

25

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

29

Boys

WELL DO YOU WAN NA- DANCE TO A ROCK 'n' ROLL BAND? COME ON BA BY,- GIVE

70



33

ME YOUR

HAND

OH

BA

BY-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

37

Girls

WELL DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

UN

DER-

THE MOON

LIGHT?

-

SQUEEZE AND HUG

ME ALL

41

THROUGH THE NIGHT

OH

BA

BY-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

45

DO

Girls

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

DO

Boys

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

49

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

53

Tpt.

Do You Wanna Dance? 71



64

68

2

72

(key change)

DO

p a capella

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

DO

p

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

76

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

80

mf

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

mf

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU




q = 128

(Stella, Jerry, All)

No. 33 - La La La Song

(Instrumental)

No. 32 - Sleepwalk

CUE - Stella: "Please, please, please, please. Musica....Maestro...."

There's

la

1st Time: Stella

2nd Time: Jerry / All

a

la song

la

I

la

know

la

this

la is

la how

la

it

la

goes

la there

la

la

is no

la la

thing

- in

la

la

Backing Vocals

la

la la

la

la

la

la la

la

la

la

la la

la

10

it

la

com

la

pli

la

- ca

la

- ted

la

-

Take

la

the

la

me

la

lo

la

- dy

la

-

la

la

la

la

la

la

la

la la

la

15

sim

la ple

la- as

la

can

la

be

la

There

la is

la no

la

thing

la

- in

la

it

la

that

la can

la

date

la

it

la

la

la

la la

la

la

la

la la

la

la

la

la

la

la

21

There's

Stella

no

lan

guage

- pro

blem

- in

it

chil

dren

- ev'

ry

- where

can

74



27

2

sing it swing it sing it swing it

See

(to Jerry)

I told you so

33

but

now

we must

go

lea

(to The Crowd)

ving

- you with

some

thing

- to

re

-

38

mem

ber

-

Now

(to Jerry)

be

on your

way

what

(to The Crowd)

else

can I

say?

44

there

is

rea

lly

- no

thing

- to it

all

you

have to

do

is

do

it

48

all

you

have to

sing

is

la la

la

sing

la la

la

All

la la

la

52 molto rall.

sing

la la

la

la

la la

la

la la

la

la

la

la la

la

La La La Song 75



q = 110

No. 34 - The Young Ones

(Don, Barbara)

Once

CUE - Don: "No, it's ok. It doesn't matter. I think i understand, this time is different."

Barbara: "Don...." Don: "No, listen..."

Don

in ev' ry- life

time

-

comes a love like this

oh

5

I

need

you

and you

need

me

oh

my

dar

ling

- can't

you

see? the

9

Young

ones

dar ling,- we're the young

ones

and the

13

young

ones

should n't- be a fraid

-

to

live,

love,

19

while the flame

has

sprung

'cause we may

not

be the young

ones

ve ry- long

24

Barbara

To

mo

- rrow,-

why wait till to mor

- row-

76



28

'cause to mo - rrow- some times- ne ver- comes so33

love

me

there's a song

to be

sung

and the

37

best time is to sing it while we're young

48

Once

Barbara

in ev' ry- life

time

-


oh

Once

Don

in ev' ry- life

time

-


oh

52

I

need

you

and you

need

me

oh

my

dar

ling

- can't

you

see

I

need

you

and you

need

me

oh

my

dar

ling

- can't

you

see

56

Young

dreams

should be dreamed to ge

- ther-

and

Young

dreams

should be dreamed to ge

- ther-

and

The Young Ones 77



60

young hearts should n't- be a fraid - and some -

young

hearts

should n't- be a fraid

-

and

some

-

65

day

when the years

have

flown

dar ling,- then

we'll

teach the

day

when the years

have

flown

dar ling,- then

we'll

teach the

69 molto rall.

young

ones

of our own

dar ling- then

we'll

teach the

young

ones

of our own

dar ling- then

we'll

teach the

73

young

ones

of our own

young

ones

of our own

The Young Ones 78



q = 80 RUBATO

No. 36 - Summer Holiday (Reprise) Ferry Version

(The Kids)

No. 35 - The Frightened City

(Instrumental)

We're

Mimsie

all

go ing- on a

sum mer- ho

li- day

-

no

Cyril

more

wor king- for a

6

fun

Alma

and

laugh ter- on our

sum mer- ho

li- day

-

week or two

no

Steve

more wor

ries- for

10

for

Girls

a week

or

two,

ooh

ooh,

for a week

or

two

me

or

you

for

Boys

a week

or

two

79



q = 80

(Don, Barbara)

No. 38 - The Next Time

(Instrumental)

No. 37 - The Savage / Zorba

Don

THEY SAY

I'LL LOVE

A GAIN

- SOME DAY

- A

3 3 3 3 3

6

TRU

ER- LOVE

WILL COME

MY WAY

THE NEXT

TIME

BUT

3 3 3 3 3 3

9

AF

TER- YOU

THERE'LL NE

VER- BE

A NEXT

TIME

FOR ME

3 3 3 3 3

12

THEY SAY

THAT I'LL

FIND HAP

PI- NESS-

IN SOME

ONE- EL

SE'S- WARM

CA RESS

-

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

15

THE NEXT

TIME

I'LL SOON

FOR GET

- YOUR

3

KISS

AND 3 3 3 3

18

HEART

ACHE-

SUCH AS THIS

WILL JUST

BE AN

CIENT- HIS

TO

- RY-

THEY

3 3 3 3 3 3 3

21

SAY

THAT I'M

A FOOL

TO WEEP,

THAT I

WON'T

GO ON

LOS ING- SLEEP

THE NEXT

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

80



24

TIME THAT SOME ONE- ELSE WILL MEND

THE HEART YOU'VE BRO

KEN- IN TWO

3 3 3 3 3 3

28

BUT

HOW

CAN

I

3

FALL

IN LOVE

THE NEXT

TIME

3 3 3

32

WHEN I'M STILL SO VE RY- MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOU?

3 3 3 3 3

36

Dialogue

Fl.

3

3 3 3 3 3

43

3 3 33 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

47

33 3 3 3 3 3 3

51

3

3 3 3

56 rall.

Barbara

I GUESS

I'M STILL

SO VE

RY- MUCH

IN LOVE

WITH

YOU

3 3 3 3 3

Don

I GUESS I'M STILL SO VE RY- MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOU 3 3 3 3 3

The Next Time 81



q = 204

(Don, Company)

No. 39 - Big News

Repeat Till Cue: "Here's an exclusive"

CUE - Stella: "You! You've got a nerve turning up here!"

HAVE

Don

YOU HEARD

THE NEWS?

7

HERE'S SOME NEWS

TO

HIT

THE HEAD

LINES

-

TELL

YOUR

PA

PERS

-

BET TER- HOLD

PAGE

11

$

ONE

MMM

I

WANT

HERE'S

TO

A

MAKE

NO-

A

THER

-

STATE

STATE

MENT

MENT

-

-

I

FOR

15

WANT

ALL

YOU

OF

ALL

YOU

TO

TO

HEAR

DAY-

LIS

WHEN

TEN

YOU

- CLOSE

GET

LY

MY

- TO

STO

ME

RY-

FOR THE

THEN

STO

PRINT

-

19

RY

THE

- OF

WORDS

THE

I

YEAR

SAY

I'VE

TEN

FOUND A

INCH

BAN

PLAN

NER

FOR

- HEAD

LIV

LINES

ING

-

-

FOR

TO

23

EV

LAST

'RY

ME

- ONE

ALL

- TO

THROUGH

SEE

LIFE

I'M

I'M

GON

GON

NA

NA

-

-

WED

TAKE

THIS

THAT

GIRL

GIRL

OF

OF

MINE

MINE

BE

AND

CAUSE

-

27

2nd Time: To Coda Ø DS al oda

Repeat Till Cue: "Taxi"

SHE'S

THEN

IN

MAKE

LOVE

HER

WITH

MY

ME

WIFE

82



Play six times38

Repeat Till Cue:

"Next Year the sky's the limit"

Ø

REpeat Till Cue:

"The holiday we set out to have"

Drum Solo Drum Solo

46

Big

All news

Big

news

Big

news

51

Big

news

have you heard

the

news?

Big News 83



q = 224

(Angie, Mimsie, Alma)

No. 40 - I'm The Lonely One

LeadVocal

BackingVocals

CUE - V/O: "And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, direct from London Town, Do, Re, Mi!"

WELL

YOU DON'T

KNOW

9

HOW

MUCH

YOU

MEAN

TO

ME

I

SAID

GOOD

BYE-

I

WELL YOU DON'T

KNOW

I SAID GOOD BYE-

14

LEFT

YOU

THERE

TO

CRY

WELL

YOU DON'T

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

I'VE

WELL

YOU DON'T

KNOW

19

MISSED

YOU

SO

BUT

NOW

IT'S

DONE

WELL

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

- ONE

YOU

HEARD

ME

BUT BUT

NOW

IT'S

DONE

WELL

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

- ONE

YOU

HEARD

ME

84



25

SAY U PON- THAT RAI NY- DAY PLEASE SET ME FREE

'CAUSE

SAY

U

PON

- THAT

RAI

NY

- DAY

PLEASE

SET

ME

FREE

'CAUSE

30

I

DON'T

WANT

TO

KNOW

WELL

YOU DON'T

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

YOU

I

DON'T

WANT

TO

KNOW

WELL

YOU DON'T

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

YOU

35

MEAN

TO

ME

I

SAID GOOD

BYE-

I LEFT

YOU

THERE

TO

MEAN

TO

ME

I

SAID GOOD

BYE-

I LEFT

YOU

THERE

TO

39

CRY

WELL

YOU

DON'T

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

YOU

MEAN

TO

CRY

WELL

YOU

DON'T

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

YOU

MEAN

TO

I'm The Lonely One 85



44

ME I LOVE YOU SO

BA BY,- COME ON

HOME I HOPE AND

ME

I

LOVE

YOU

SO

BA BY,-

COME ON

HOME

I

HOPE

AND

49

PRAY

THAT

YOU'LL

COME

BACK

SOME

DAY

I'VE

HAD

MY

FUN

NOW

PRAY

THAT

YOU'LL

COME

BACK

SOME

DAY

I'VE

HAD

MY

FUN

54

I'M

THE

LONE LY

- ONE

Gtr.

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

- ONE

66

71 DIALOGUE

WELL

YOU

DON'T

WELL

YOU

DON'T




89

KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN

TO

ME I LOVE YOU SO

KNOW

HOW

MUCH

YOU

MEAN

TO

ME

I

LOVE

YOU

SO

94

BA BY,-

COME ON

HOME

I

HOPE

AND

PRAY

THAT

YOU'LL

COME

BA BY,-

COME ON

HOME

I

HOPE

AND

PRAY

THAT

YOU'LL

COME

99

BACK

SOME

DAY

I'VE

HAD

MY

FUN

NOW

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

-

BACK

SOME

DAY

I'VE

HAD

MY

FUN

I'M

THE

LONE

- LY

103

ONE

I'VE

HAD MY

FUN

NOW

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

- ONE

ONE

I'VE

HAD MY

FUN

NOW

I'M

THE

LONE

LY

- ONE




No. 41 - On The Beach

(Don, Company)

Bows Sequence

Guitar:

Don, strumming a guitar

I

A

CANTHINK

OF

NO

D THING

- BET TER

A

THAN

DAN

CIN'

- ON

E

THE

BEACH

5

ASEE A GIRL

YOU CAN GO

D AND

GET HER YOUR TROU

E

BLES- WILL BE OUT

OF

8

REACH

A

ON

THE

BEACH

E

YOU CAN DANCE

TO A ROCK

AND

ROLL

HEAR

A

THE BOS

SA- NO VA-

12

PLAYED

WITH

SOUL

ON THE BEACH

E

YOU CAN DANCE,

TWIST AND

SHOUT

A

EV 'RY- BO

- DY- HEAR ME

16

COME ON

OUT

ON THE BEACH

D

ON THE BEACH

A

20

F#m7

'CAUSE YOUR TROU

Bm7

BLES- ARE OUT OF REACH

E7

ON THE BEACH

D

A

88



q = 162

I

All

CAN THINK OF NO THING- BET TER- THAN DAN CIN'-

8

ON THE

BEACH

SEE A GIRL

YOU CAN GO

AND

GET HER YOUR TROU

-

11

BLES- WILL BE OUT

OF REACH

YOU

Don

CAN DANCE

TO A

All

(Girls 8vb)

ON

THE

BEACH

14

ROCK AND

ROLL

HEAR A BOS

SA- NO VA- PLAYED

WITH

SOUL

YOU CAN DANCE,

ON

THE

BEACH

ON

THE

BEACH

18

TWIST AND

SHOUT

EV 'RY- BO

- DY- HEAR ME COME

ON

OUT

ON THE BEACH

ON

THE

BEACH

On The Beach 89



21

ON THE BEACH

COME ON EV

'RY- BO- DY- STOMP

YOUR

FEET

YOU CAN DANCE

WITH A

-

24

'CauSe YOUR TROU

BLES ARE

OUT

OF REACH

ON THE

NY- ONE- YOU MEET

27

BEACH

MMM

THIS IS FUN

EACH

EACH

32

MMM

WON'T YOU TELL

ME I'M THE ONE

YOU'RE GON NA-

36

DANCE

WITH

YEAH

BOS

SA- NO

VA

-

49

MMM THIS IS FUN MMM

On The Beach 90



54

NOW I KNOW I 'M THE ONE YOU'RE GON NA- DANCE WITH

59

YEAH

TWIST

AND

3

SHOUT

NOW

YOU CAN DO

THE DANCE

70

THAT YOU WANT

TO

WITH A

NY- ONE

THAT YOU

MEET

AND IF THE BOS

SA- NO

-

74

VA- DOES N'T- GET

YOU THE TWIST

WILL HAVE YOU ON

YOUR FEET

ON THE

77

YOU CAN DANCE

TO A ROCK

AND

ROLL

HEAR THE BOS

SA- NO VA-

BEACH

ON THE

BEACH

80

PLAYED

WITH SOUL

YOU CAN DANCE

AND TWIST

AND

SHOUT

ON

THE

BEACH

ON

THE

On The Beach 91



83

EV 'RY- BO

- DY- HEAR ME COME

ON

OUT

ON THE BEACH

BEACH

COME ON EV

'RY- BO- DY-

86

ON THE BEACH

'CAUSE YOUR

STOMP YOUR

FEET

YOU CAN DANCE

WITH A

NY- ONE- YOU MEET

89

TROU BLES- ARE

OUT

OF REACH

ON

THE

BEACH

EACH

EACH

On The Beach 92



LIGHT SWING

q = 132

No. 42 - Summer Holiday (Reprise)

(Company)

Girls

Boys

WE'RE

ALL

GO ING- ON

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

WE'RE

ALL

GO ING- ON

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

8

NO MORE WOR

KIN'- FOR

A

WEEK OR

TWO

FUN

AND

LAUGH TER- ON

OUR

NO MORE WOR

KIN'- FOR

A

WEEK OR

TWO

FUN

AND

LAUGH TER- ON

OUR

11

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

- NO MORE

WOR

RIES- FOR

ME

OR

YOU

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

- NO MORE

WOR

RIES- FOR

ME

OR

YOU

14

FOR A WEEK

OR

TWO

FOR A WEEK

OR

TWO

WE'RE GO

IN'- WHERE

THE SUN

SHINES

93



17

WE'RE GO

IN'- WHERE THE SEA

IS

3

BLUE

WE'VEWE'VE

BRIGHT

LY

-

WE'VEWE'VE

20

SEEN

IT IN

THE MO

VIES

-

NOW LET'S

SEE

IF

IT'S

SEEN

IT IN

THE MO

VIES

-

NOW LET'S

SEE

IF

IT'S

23

TRUE

EV 'RY- BO

DY- HAS

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

TRUE

EV 'RY- BO

DY- HAS

A

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

26

DO IN'- THINGS

THEY AL

WAYS-

WAN TED

- TO

SO

WE'RE

GO IN'- ON

A

DO IN'- THINGS

THEY AL

WAYS-

WAN TED

- TO

SO

WE'RE

GO IN'- ON

A

29

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

TO MAKE

OUR DREAMS

COME

TRUE

SUM MER- HO

LI- DAY

-

TO MAKE

OUR DREAMS

COME

TRUE

Summer Holiday - Reprise 94



32

FOR ME AND YOU MMM FOR ME AND YOU

FOR ME

AND

YOU

MMM

FOR ME

AND YOU

35 molto rall.

YOU

MMM

FOR

ME

AND

YOU

YOU

MMM

FOR

ME

AND

YOU

Summer Holiday - Reprise 95



q = 168

(Company)

No. 43 - Do You Wanna Dance? (Reprise)

WELL

Boys

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

AND

7

HOLD

MY

HAND?

SQUEEZE

ME

BA BY,- I'M

YOUR

MAN

OH

BA

BY,-

11

DO YOU WAN

- NA DANCE?

WELL DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

UN

DER-

15

THE MOON

LIGHT?

-

SQUEEZE AND HUG

ME ALL

THROUGH THE NIGHT

OH

18

BA

BY,-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

22

DO

Girls

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

25

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

29

Boys

WELL DO YOU WAN NA- DANCE TO A ROCK 'n' ROLL BAND? COME ON BA BY,- GIVE

96



33

ME YOUR

HAND

OH

BA

BY-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

37

Girls

WELL DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE

UN

DER-

THE MOON

LIGHT?

-

SQUEEZE AND HUG

ME ALL

41

THROUGH THE NIGHT

OH

BA

BY-

DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

45

DO

Girls

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

DO

Boys

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

49

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

53

Tpt.




64

68

2

72

(key change)

DO

p a capella

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

DO

p

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

76

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

80

mf

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU

mf

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU




84

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

WAN NA- DANCE?

DO YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

87

(key change)

DO

f

YOU DO YOU DO

YOU DO YOU WAN

NA- DANCE?

f


Summer Holiday Script

Documents

Transcript of Summer Holiday Script