Stephanie Beniek

Malaurie Heidenescher

Albert Crichton

Julie Dix Jack (Curtis) Greene II

Ashlin Idemoto

Leilani Akana

Christian (David) Lam

Projection Cart

Valerie Lane Bryan Jason Maderas

Justin Maunupau

Carina Pelletier

Kamele Manoa

Joshua Nishimoto

Cody Okada-Krueger

Anissa Pasion

Teachers’

Hitsa Pham Courtney Piche

Charlette Joy Ragudos

Taliau (King)Tavela-Afalava

Renay Dayton-Gerona

Desk

Seating Chart (Period 2)

SEATING CHART(Period 5)

Mahlon Kapule III

Heather Corpuz

Adam Denis Preston Matteo Donato

Leonard Firme Jr.

Kristen Joy Foronda

Petrice Goto Pualani Howard

Lazarus Jove

Projection Cart

Courtney Ledesma

Arianna Lee Johnathan Lonso

Jovy Manzanares

Michael OMeally

Emily Moses Derrick Ogawa-Staples

Joshua Pangayan

Shonnel Patao-Galacgac

Marcus Sabado

Teachers’

Jonnel Santos

Keani Sayles

Miurina Soyon

Ahley Ferreira

Desk

Opening: Bell Work

Four Corners Game

How to play:

• Read the question • Decide on an answer• Move to the corner that you think is the answer

Question 1

Correct Answer: A

Explanation: This is an example of a type of error known as comma splice. You cannot use a comma to link two complete sentences: use a semicolon.

Question 2

Correct Answer: D

Explanation: Misplaced modifier. Including seems to refer to job when it should refer to steps.

Question 3

Correct Answer: C

Explanation: After a present tense in the if clause, we need a future tense in the main clause. Would should be changed to will.

Question 4

Correct Answer: B

Explanation: Change their to its because the union is a singular noun.

Question 5

Correct Answer: C

Explanation: Change have to has because the number requires a singular verb.

Question 6

Correct Answer: A

Explanation: Use fewer not less for countable items.

Question 7

Correct Answer: E

Explanation: No Error

Question 8

Correct Answer: A

Explanation: This is an example of a dangling modifier. It implies that coconuts were shipwrecked. To correct the sentence you could change Shipwrecked to “When he was shipwrecked.”

Question 9

Correct Answer: B

Explanation: But is inappropriate here; change to and.

Question 10

Correct Answer: E

Explanation: No Error

Question 11

Correct Answer: D

Explanation: No need for a past perfect tense here: use went.

Question 12

Correct Answer: D

Explanation: The word people is redundant.

Question 13

Correct Answer: C

Explanation: You cannot say very unique. [Just as you cannot say more superior.]

Question 14

Correct Answer: A

Explanation: Kind is singular so we should use this or that, but not these or those.

Question 15

Correct Answer: D

Explanation: The words “do the same” are ambiguous. Change to “take early retirement” or something similar.

AgendaSeptember 2, 2010

• Objective: We will be able to… Edit our personal narratives

• Opening: Bell Work SAT prep questions

• Editing Activity• Closing: Exit Pass

Explain the changes you have made or will make to your 3rd draft.

Editing Activity

Note:

You will need your personal narrative 3rd draft

and

a colored pen other than black or blue

Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group 4 Group 5 Group 6

King Charlette Justin Hitsa Cody Julie

Ashlin David Malaurie Mele Anissa Bryan

Valerie Carina Renay Courtney Curtis Leilani

Joshua Stephanie Albert

Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left.

Directions: Pass your personal narrative to the left.

Group 1 Group 2 Group 3 Group 4 Group 5 Group 6

Emily Jonnel Shonell Petrice Leonard Arianna

Marcus Mahlon Miurina Adam Courtney Joshua

Derrick Michael Kristen Preston Lance Heather

Ashley Pua John Jovy Keani

Spelling

Search for errors in spelling

Capitalization

Search for errors in capitalization

Rule: Capitalize the first word of a quoted sentence.

Examples:

He said, "Treat her as you would your own daughter.”

"Look out!" she screamed. "You almost ran into my child."

PunctuationSearch for errors in punctuation

“Quotation Marks”

Rule: Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks, even inside single quotes.

Examples:

The sign changed from "Walk," to "Don't Walk," to "Walk" again within 30 seconds.

She said, "Hurry up."

She said, "He said, 'Hurry up.'"

Punctuation

Search for errors in punctuation

Commas,

Rule: Use a comma to separate two adjectives when the word and can be inserted between them.

Examples:

He is a strong, healthy man.

We stayed at an expensive summer resort. You would not say expensive and summer resort, so no comma.

PunctuationA comma splice is an error caused by joining two strong clauses with only a comma instead of separating the clauses with a conjunction, a semicolon, or a period.

A run-on sentence, which is incorrect, is created by joining two strong clauses without any punctuation.

Examples:

Time flies when we are having fun, we are always having fun. (comma splice)

Time flies when we are having fun we are always having fun. (run-on senstence)

Correct: Time flies when we are having fun; we are always having fun.

Time flies when we are having fun, and we are always having fun.

Time flies when we are having fun. We are always having fun.

Drafting

Based on what you’ve learned today, make changes to your 3rd draft.

Note: use a different colored pen.

Closing: Exit Pass

Explain the changes you have made and/or will make to your 3rd draft.

HW (write in your planner):

Bring a hard copy of your personal narrative final draft to class on Tuesday, Sept. 7, 2010.

typed, double-spaced, size 12 Times New Roman font

Also, draw a picture that will go with your personal narrative final draft. This is also due on Tuesday, Sept. 7, 2010

Be prepared to do a read aloud of your personal narrative. This will count as an oral presentation grade.