Statement by TSgt Jennifer Norris, USAF Retired Review of ...
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Statement by TSgt Jennifer Norris, USAF Retired Before the U.S. House Armed Services Committee Review of sexual misconduct by basic training instructors at Lackland Air Force Base January 23, 2013 It is with a heavy heart that I sit here today. Because, I am not only speaking for myself but I am speaking for thousands and thousands of male and female survivors, both military and civilian, whose lives have been forever altered by the military’s sexual assault epidemic, a culture that punishes the victim and a broken military justice system. My name is Tsgt Jennifer Norris; I am an Air Force veteran, wife to my dear husband, Lee, national advocate for the Military Rape Crisis Center, and Protect Our Defenders Advocacy Board member. Protect Our Defenders is a place for survivors to build community, amplify our voices, provide resources, support one another and take collective action. I want to recognize the service members who have not survived due to non‐combat deaths, murder, and suicide and their families who are still waiting for answers. Nearly six months ago, I stood outside these doors with fellow veterans and survivors, many of whom are here with me in this room today. We delivered a petition asking this Committee to hold an “open and complete” hearing into the criminal scandal at Lackland Air Force Base. Back then there were 30 victims. Six months later there are at least 59 known female and male victims. Since that day in August, according to Department of Defense estimates, roughly ten thousand more men and women in uniform have been assaulted. This is no longer a “silent epidemic.” We are hopeful, as we wrap up the day, that this hearing becomes the beginning of fundamental reform to change a military culture and fix the broken military justice system. It is our hope that this will be the first in a series of hearings to fully explore the reasons why Lackland and similar abuses are occurring and what must be done to prevent it from happening in the future. The Committee should hear from current Lackland victims and from independent experts on issues regarding victim treatment and the military justice system. The Lackland scandal must become more than another footnote in this tragic history. As the hometown paper of Lackland AFB, the San Antonio Express-News, aptly put it, when writing about this hearing, “criminal trials correctly examine the acts of individuals.
Transcript of Statement by TSgt Jennifer Norris, USAF Retired Review of ...
StatementbyTSgtJenniferNorris,USAFRetiredBeforetheU.S.HouseArmedServicesCommittee
ReviewofsexualmisconductbybasictraininginstructorsatLacklandAirForceBaseJanuary23,2013
ItiswithaheavyheartthatIsitheretoday.Because,IamnotonlyspeakingformyselfbutIamspeakingforthousandsandthousandsofmaleandfemalesurvivors,bothmilitaryandcivilian,whoseliveshavebeenforeveralteredbythemilitary’ssexualassaultepidemic,aculturethatpunishesthevictimandabrokenmilitaryjusticesystem.
MynameisTsgtJenniferNorris;IamanAirForceveteran,wifetomydearhusband,Lee,nationaladvocatefortheMilitaryRapeCrisisCenter,andProtectOurDefendersAdvocacyBoardmember.ProtectOurDefendersisaplaceforsurvivorstobuildcommunity,amplifyourvoices,provideresources,supportoneanotherandtakecollectiveaction.
Iwanttorecognizetheservicememberswhohavenotsurvivedduetonon‐combatdeaths,murder,andsuicideandtheirfamilieswhoarestillwaitingforanswers.
Nearlysixmonthsago,Istoodoutsidethesedoorswithfellowveteransandsurvivors,manyofwhomareherewithmeinthisroomtoday.WedeliveredapetitionaskingthisCommitteetoholdan“openandcomplete”hearingintothecriminalscandalatLacklandAirForceBase.Backthentherewere30victims.Sixmonthslaterthereareatleast59knownfemaleandmalevictims.SincethatdayinAugust,accordingtoDepartmentofDefenseestimates,roughlytenthousandmoremenandwomeninuniformhavebeenassaulted.Thisisnolongera“silentepidemic.”
Wearehopeful,aswewrapuptheday,thatthishearingbecomesthebeginningoffundamentalreformtochangeamilitarycultureandfixthebrokenmilitaryjusticesystem.ItisourhopethatthiswillbethefirstinaseriesofhearingstofullyexplorethereasonswhyLacklandandsimilarabusesareoccurringandwhatmustbedonetopreventitfromhappeninginthefuture.TheCommitteeshouldhearfromcurrentLacklandvictimsandfromindependentexpertsonissuesregardingvictimtreatmentandthemilitaryjusticesystem.TheLacklandscandalmustbecomemorethananotherfootnoteinthistragichistory.
AsthehometownpaperofLacklandAFB,theSanAntonioExpressNews,aptlyputit,whenwritingaboutthishearing,“criminaltrialscorrectlyexaminetheactsofindividuals.
Congressionalhearingslookatthesystemicfailingsthattrialscannotandreinforcetheconceptofcivilianoversight.Bothareneeded.”
Coreissuesmustbeaddressed.Themilitaryjusticesystemelevatesanindividual’sdiscretionovertheruleoflaw.Thesystemisencumberedwithpersonalbias,conflictsofinterestandabuseofauthority.Thecycleofrepeatedscandals,self‐investigations,andineffectivereforms‐mustbebroken.
Becausenovictimsfromthecurrentscandalhavebeenpermittedtotestify,Iwillshareoneoftheirstoriestoillustratethescopeofthisepidemic‐‐thisisfromtheSanAntonioExpress’SigChristensonandKarisaKing.
“AyoungAirForcerecruitwhosaidherbasictraininginstructorsexuallyassaultedhertestified….aftertwomonthsofobeyinghisorders,shewastoofrightenedtoprotesthisadvancesinadarksupplyroom.
‘You'reintheworstpositionthatyoucouldthinkof.He'syourinstructor,’shesaid.‘Whenyou'reinapositionlikethat,youdon'tknowwhattothink.’
Thedefense…stressedthatAirman1nevertriedtostopthesexualencounterwithEstacio,andoneoftheattorneys,Capt.JerroldBlack,askedthewomanifsheresistedEstacio'sadvances.
‘Iwastooscaredto,”shereplied.“Sometimeswhensomebody'stooscaredtotalk,doesthatmeantheywanttodosomething?’
Amilitaryjudge…foundStaffSgt.KwintonEstacionotguiltyofsexuallyassaulting[the]trainee…allowingthebasictraininginstructortofaceamaximumone‐yearprisonsentence—ratherthanthe30yearsprosecutorsinitiallysought.”
Airman1’sstoryisverysimilartomystory.Iwas24yearsoldwhenIjoinedthemilitaryandalsojoinedtheranksoftheoverhalfamillionveteranswhoarevictimsofsexualassaultinourmilitary.Iwasasmalltowngirlwhohadneverbeenharmedandbasicallyhadanidyllicchildhood.Ididnotknowthatthiskindofbehaviorexistedintheworld,letaloneinourbelovedmilitary.
IwaschemicallyrestrainedandrapedbymyrecruiterandsexuallyassaultedbymytechnicalschoolinstructoratKeeslerAirForceBase.Ididnotreporttheseincidents;Ijustsuckeditupandkeptmymouthshut.Why?BecauseIwatchedanairman,whoistodayoneofmybestfriends,getswiftlybootedoutsimplybecauseshereportedthatoneofherinstructorsmadederogatoryremarkstoherduringclass.Thisgirlwas19yearsold.Themilitarytrainingmanagersengagedinwhatappearedtobeawitch‐huntandlookedfor
anythingandeverythingtokickherout.Intheend,theyweresuccessful.TodayshehasseverePTSDfromthatexperience.
AsIcontinuedonwithmycareerwiththeMaineAirNationalGuard,IfoundmyselfinaneerilysimilarsituationtotheoneIfacedwiththerecruiterwhosetuptheattackandrapedme.MyNCOICbeganassigningmejobsthatwouldisolatemesothathecouldmakehismove.Hewouldgivemetheassignmentthenshowupunexpectedlyto“checkinonme,”butinsteadforcedhimselfonmeeverychancehegot.Eventually,Ididreportthesecrimes.Mycommanderdidnothavetheauthoritytopursuechargesagainsttherecruiterandmytechnicaltraininginstructor.HedidpursuechargesagainstmyNCOICandhisfriend.Theywerechargedwithsexualassault.ThedaybeforetheAdministrativeHearingtheperpetratorspleadguilty.ThepunishmentimposedbytheCommanderwasthatbothwerepermittedtoresignhonorablyandsincemyNCOIChad18yearsofservicehewasallowedtostayinfortwomoreyearssohecouldreachhistwentyyears.Bothpredatorseventuallyreceivedtheirfullmilitarybenefits.
Meanwhile,myCommanderwaspromotedandanewCommanderwasincharge.MyNCOICandhisfriendandtheirfriendsbegananefforttodiscreditandretaliateagainstme.Iwenttoanewsquadron,butIwaslabeledasatroublemakerandmycareerwasover.
Wearehurtingourselvesandsocietybynotdealingwiththefactthatthecurrentmilitaryenvironmentprovidesatargetrichopportunityforpredatorsintheranks.Thepredatorsoftenappeartobe“greattroops,”highranking,andverycharismaticandmanipulative,butthatisonlyapartoftheproblem.
Themilitaryjusticesystemisbroken.Inmyworkasanadvocate,itbreaksmyhearttoseethissamekindofbehaviorin2013thatexistedwhenIjoinedtheservice.Iknowhowpainfulitistobeviolatedbyanotherandthendisregardedandthrownaway,asifyouarethetroublemaker.ItwassomethingIneverexpectedafterreportingacrime,afelonycrime.Thecountryisloosinggoodandvaluabletroops.
Andweallknowcommandersatalllevelsarejustascapableastheirjuniorsofcommittingtheseoffenses.Thirty‐ninepercentoffemalevictimsreportthattheirperpetratorwasofahigherrankand23%reportitwassomeonewithintheirchainofcommand.Wehaveseentoomanyinstanceswhereabadcommandatalllevelscananddoesendagoodsoldier'scareer.HowmanycasesofsexualassaultdidGeneralJeffreySinclair,whofacesacourt‐martialforallegedlysexuallyassaultinghissubordinates,sweepundertherug?
And,goodcommandersarebeingplacedinimpossiblepositions.Theyarenottrainedinthemodusoperandiofpredators,theyoftenfallvictimtotheirmanipulation,astheyareoftenregardedas“greattroops.”Thisoftenresultsincommandersignoringtheproblem,therebypunishingthevictim.Andwhenvictimsarepunished,perpetratorsgofreeand
everyoneknowsittobethecase‐‐trust,theessentialingredienttoaneffective,functioningmilitary,isundermined.
TheAirForce’sofficialreportonLackland,asinotherreportsofpreviousscandals,indicatesthereisafailureofleadership.HowmanytimeswillCongresshearfromthemilitarythatitsleadershiphasfailed,beforeCongressinstitutesfundamentalchangetoaddressthiscrisis?Meanwhile,peoplearesuffering,peoplearedying,andpeoplearebecomingdisabledduetotheprolongedexposuretotheabuse,harassment,sexualviolenceandretaliationbytheirownmilitaryfamily,atalllevelsinthechainofcommand.
AsthescandalatLacklandcontinuestounfoldandtheAirForce’sreportmakesclear,itisfartooeasyforan18‐year‐oldkidthatjoinstheAirForcetobesexuallyabusedbytheonepersonintheirlifethathasthemostcontroloverthem.MTIsuseadirectivetrainingmethodandthatmeanstraineesdon’thaveanopinion.Theymustdoastheyaretold;asAirman1’sLacklandexperiencethatIsharedwithyouhighlights.Thatisbeatintoyourheadfromtheverybeginning.Icannotimagine,basedonmyexperiencewithpredators,howtrappedIwouldhavefeltifmybasictraininginstructorabusedhispowerandthreatenedmewiththefactthathecouldendmycareerwiththestrokeofapen.Abuseofauthorityexiststhroughoutalllevelsofcommand.ThetraineeinstructordynamicatLacklandisbutoneexample.
AndhowmanyofthecommandersabovetheseLacklandMTIswerecomplicitinturningablindeyeorsimplygoingalongtogetalong?Howlongdiditlast?Theself‐investigationsalwaysstopshort.Whydidn’ttheAirForceinterviewvictimstodetermineifanyofthemtriedtoreportorfeareddoingsoandifsowhy?
IknowthatmanyofthoseLacklandvictimswantedtoprotecttheircareersanddidnotbelievetheywouldreceiveafairshake,sotheyremainedsilent.Wearespeakingforthem.And,wearespeakingforthethousandsofsurvivorswhofeelthesamewaythatIdoandwillcontinuetospeakoutandmobilizeuntilindividualdiscretion,biasandconflictofinterestembeddedinthemilitaryjusticesystemisremovedfromthereporting,investigationandprosecutionoftheseviolentcrimes.
Weknowalltoowellthatthisisn’tjustanAirForceproblem.ThisisanArmedServicesproblem.Congresshastheresponsibility.CongressestablishedtheUniformMilitaryCodeofJustice.Andasademocraticinstitution,youhavethesacredresponsibilityofcivilianoversightoftheDepartmentofDefense,onbehalfofthepeoplewhoelectedyou.
Weneedyoutofacethissystemiccrisiswithinourmilitaryandfundamentallyfixit.
Asasurvivor,anadvocate,andanactivist,Iregularlyseewell‐intentionedreformsfallshort.LawspassedbyCongressareignoredorinconsistentlyapplied,unnecessarily
encumberedornotimplemented.RecentlytheMilitaryRapeCrisisCenterandProtectOurDefendersworkedonacaseofayoungairmanwhotriedtoobtainanExpeditedTransferaftertwoassaults.Foreightmonths,sheandherparentsrepeatedlyaskedforatransfer.Theyweretoldtherewasnosuchthing,noteligible,thendeniedbecauseofmedhold.ItwasonlygrantedafterinterventionbyaSenatorandthenamemberofthiscommittee,tosimplyfollowalawpassedbyCongress.
Restrictedreportswerelegislatedinthehopethatmorevictimswouldconfidentiallycomeforwardtoreceiveneededmedicalandpsychologicalcare.Nocriminalinvestigationisinitiatedandnoperpetratorisnamed.Fartoooften,wehavebeentoldthatconfidentialityisnotmaintained,thevictimdoesnotreceiveadequatesupportorcare,andisstillsubjecttoretaliation.AccordingtotheDoD’sowndata47%ofservicemembersareafraidtoreport,becauseofwhathappenstothosewhoreport.Andofcoursetheunintendedconsequenceofthispolicyisthatperpetratorsremainfreetorepeatthecrime.Andwhentheyretirethesepredatorscometoliveinyourneighborhoods.
TheWingmanor“BattleBuddy”policythatwaspartoftheAirForce’srecommendationsforfixingtheLacklandscandalplacestheburdenonthepotentialvictim.Thispolicyrequirestraineesofbothgenderstobeaccompaniedatalltimes.Thewayitisstructured,itbecomesavehicleforholdingvictimsaccountableforhavingbeenattacked.AirForceSgt.JenniferSmith,whohadgonetothegymalonetoexercisewhenshewasassaulted,didnotreportthecrimeatthetime.Accordingtoheradministrativecomplaint,copiesofwhichyouallweregiven,“sheknewthattheAirForcewouldblameher,thevictim,andreprimandherfornothavinga“BattleBuddy”withheratalltimes.”Wehaveheardmanysimilarreportsfromothersurvivors.
Accordingtovictimsandtheirfamilies,victims’confidentialcommunicationswithpsychotherapistsandothermedicalpersonnel,andtheirmedicalrecords,areregularlyinappropriatelydisclosed.TheirrighttolegalcounselprovidedbyS1565bpassedbyCongressDecember31,2011(NDAA2012)wasintendedtoprovidelegalassistancetosexualassaultvictimstoprotecttheirprivacyandprivilegesincourts‐martialproceedings.ButcurrentlyS1565bisbeingmisinterpretedandsomeJAGSarerefusingtoprovideassistancetohelpvictimsprotecttheirprivacyrights.TheAirForcerecentlyannounceditintendstocorrectthisandprovidelegalassistancetovictims,butthereispushbackfromtheotherservices.Ithasevenbeenallegedthatthelawwasonlyintendedtoassistthevictiminwritingtherapistoutoftheirwillortobreakaleasetoallowavictimtomoveawayfromtherapist.
ThisisclearlynotwhatCongressintended.AndtheAirForce’snewSpecialVictimsCounsel(SVC)programtoprovidelegalaidtovictimsisimportantbutitwillbedependentonaparticularmilitaryjudge’ssupporttopermitaSVCtoactonavictim’sbehalf.AndtheNavy
VWAP(VictimWitnessAdvocacyProgram)hasgoodprotectionsinplacebutmanytrialshopsfailtouseit.
DefenseSecretaryPanettaandmanySecretariesbeforehimhavedeclaredapolicyof“zerotolerance,”yetrecentDoDactionschallengethatnotion.
InDecember2011,afederaljudgedismissedaclassactionlawsuit(Ciocav.Rumsfeld)filedonbehalfof28assaultvictimsagainstthemilitaryforfailuretoprotectthem,providejusticeandfortheretaliationtheysuffered.Thejudgeagreedwiththemilitarydefenseattorney’sargumentthat“theallegedharmsareincidenttoplaintiffs’(victims)militaryservice.”HadIknownthatrapeisdismissedbythemilitaryasan“occupationalhazard,”Iwouldnothavejoined.
Itisanationalsecurityrisknottodosomethingaboutthesexualassaultepidemic.Itadverselyaffectsunitcohesionandunderminesmissionreadiness.People’slives,livelihoods,dreams,andcareersarebeingthwarted,atthediscretionofonepersoninthechainofcommand.Isittoomuchtoaskforsomechecksandbalances?OurConstitutionguaranteesAmericansbasichumanrights.Theserightsshouldbeextendedtoourmilitarypersonnel.
Lastyear,SecretaryPanettaopinedthatthecoreoftheproblemisalackofconvictions,whichhesays,“mustbeimproved.”Yet,inSeptember2012,theSecretaryproposedthePresidentsignanExecutiveOrder,whichwouldhaveeffectivelyevisceratedtheMilitary’sRapeShieldRule.Therule(MRE412)ascurrentlyappliedisdeficientinprotectingvictims.ProtectOurDefenderstookaction.WewrotethePresidentandwewrotetheSecretaryaskinghimtorescindtherequest.Wesubsequentlylearneditwasnotincludedintheorder,butwhyisitthatwemustremainevervigilanttoprotectthefewrightsthatexistforvictimsinthemilitary?
Overtwentyyearsago,InSeptember1992,accordingtotheLATimes,“severallawmakers”inresponsetotheTailhookscandal“proposedstrippingthearmedservicesoftheirroleinprobingsexualmolestationcases.”ThepatienceanddeferencethatcongressandtheAmericanpublichaveshowntheDefenseDepartmentingivingittheopportunitytofixthisproblem,hascomeatgreatcosttoourservicemembers,veteransandultimatelytooursociety.
Ilovedservingourcountry.Likesomanyservicememberswhoarevictimsofthisviolentcrime,Ididnotwantmycareerended.Weaskthatin2013youprovidemoreoversightandleadershipandnomorehalf‐measuresoremptypromises.Themilitaryleadershiphasfailedmeandtoomanyofourdaughters,sons,husbands,wives,friendsandneighborswhoonlywantedtoserveourcountry.
Thiscrisiscannotbeeffectivelyaddressedincrementally.RetiredBrigadierGeneralLoreeSuttonrecentlysaid,“Theonlycrediblesolutionisanindependentspecialvictimsunitcompletelyoutsidethe(unit)chainofcommand,underprofessionalcivilianoversight.”Weagree.
Weaskyou,asourelectedrepresentatives,pleasedon’tletthiswaitonedaymore.GodblessAmericaandourbravemenandwomeninuniform.
NOTE:Norrispersonalstoryattachedwithsupportingdocumentation
MyPersonalStory
TSgt.JenniferNorris,USAirForce,retired
IamoldernowandIhavehadalotoftimetoreflectbackonwhathappenedtome.AnditisnowevidenttomethatIamoneofmanywhohaveexperiencedthesamekindoftreatmentsimplybecauseIreportedsexualassaultbyafellow,higher‐rankingsoldier.
Iwasraisedbyafatherwhoworkedhardasaloggerhisentirelife.HetaughtmeearlyinmychildhoodthatIwasequalwithmybrothers.Iwasexpectedtohelppreparethefirewoodeveryseason,Iwasexpectedtohelpmowthefields,andIwasincludedinanyandallactivities.Igrewupinasmalltownandneveronceexperiencedsomeonetryingtoharmmeinaviolentwayordiscriminationbasedsolelyonmygender.IgrewupwithasenseofconfidenceanddeterminationthatIcoulddoanythingIwantedtowithmylife.ThatistheAmericandream,right?
IlearnedquicklyafterjoiningtheUSAFthatIhadsteppedintoawholenewworld,onethateventuallymademefeellikeIwasdealingwithanundergroundmob.ShortlyafterIenlisted,Iwasinvitedtoa“newrecruit”party.IwasreallyexcitedtoattendsothatIcouldmeetotherswhowerealsogoingthroughtheexcitementandfearofbecomingasoldier.InsteadIbecamethevictimofacalculatingpredatorwhousedthe“party”asawaytosetuphisattack.And,asIcommonlyseeinmanyofthecasesinmyworkwiththeMilitaryRapeCrisisCenter,heusedalcoholashisweapon.Whenhewasunabletopressuremetodrink,heusedwhatevermeansnecessarytoincapacitatehisvictim.WhenIwasraped,Iwaschemicallyrestrainedandcouldnotmove;yetIknewwhatwashappeningtome.AtProtectOurDefendersandtheMilitaryRapeCrisisCenter,wefrequentlyseethissamemodusoperandi.
Ididn’treportthatcrimeandhereiswhy.Icouldnotfacethatithappened.Ididn’twanttostartoutmymilitarycareerlikethatandsoIdeterminedthatIwouldnevertalkaboutittoanyone.Fromthatdayforward,Iavoidedtherecruiteratallcostsandsoldieredon.Ihaveneverseenhimsince.
IhadanamazingbasictrainingexperienceatLackland.MymilitarytraininginstructorwasSSgtKnightandthatprofessionalNCOtaughtmehowtobeagoodfollowerandhealsobelievedinmyleadershipskills.
ThemajorityofthepeoplethatIservedwithwereamazing,inspiringindividualswhotrulywerededicatedtothemission.Butjustlikeme,therearefartoomanywhofallvictimtomanipulationandabuseofauthoritybyperpetratorswhoarehigherrankingandhave
morecredibilitywiththosewhoareincharge.WehavenochoicebuttoacquiescewhenundertheleadershipofaheavyfistedChainofCommand.
IwasassaultedasecondtimeatKeeslerAirForceBaseafterBasicTrainingbymyinstructor.IwasattendingSatelliteandWidebandCommunicationstechnicalschool.Iwastherefor6months.Whilethere,Ilearnedveryquicklythatifyoureportedsexualharassment,assault,orwereoffendedbysomeone’slewdandcruderemarksthatyouwillbequicklyturnedoutoftheAirForce.So,Iplannedtogetthroughit,gobackhomeandservewiththeMaineAirNationalGuard,whereIthoughtIwouldbesafe.IjustsuckeditupandkeptmymouthshutsoIcouldgraduate.IwatchedanActiveDutyAirForcefemale,whotothisdayisoneofmybestfriends,getswiftlybootedfromthemilitary,aftershereportedthatoneofherinstructor’smadederogatoryremarkstoherduringclass.Thisgirlwas19yearsold.Themilitarytrainingmanagersengagedinwhatappearedtobeawitch‐huntandlookedforanythingandeverythingtokickherout.Intheend,theyweresuccessful.TodayshesuffersseverePTSDfromthisexperience.
AfewverysignificantthingshappenedwhileIwasatKeesler.OneofthefemaleairmanthatIwasgoingtoschoolwithadmittedthatshehadsexwithherrecruiter.ThisconversationwasinthepresenceofanotherMaineAirNationalGuardsmanwhosharedthatthesamerecruiterwhorapedmehadalsosexuallyassaultedhiscousin,whoasaresultdidnotjointhemilitary.Whenheexplainedtomehowitoccurred,mybloodbegantoboilwithragebecauseIrecognizedthepatternimmediately.TherecruiterhaddonethesamethingtomeandIdeterminedIwasgoingtopresschargesagainsthim,whenIreturnedhome,tostophimfromharminganyoneelse.
ThePostTraumaticStress,whichIdidn’trealizeIhad,kickedintooverdriveafterlearningthisinformation.Iwantedtotakeaction.Ididanimpulsivething.IcalleduptherecruiterwhorapedmeandtoldhimIwasgoingtopresschargesagainsthimandthatIknewwhathehaddonetoanothergirlaswell.Hequicklyhunguponme.Mythinkingwasmaybejustmaybehewouldbetooscaredtotrythisagain.
AbouttwoweeksbeforegraduationfromKeesler,Iwasperformingamaintenancelooponamobilesatellitecommunicationsvanaspartofthetestingtomoveontothenextblock.Ihaditdown.Ilovedmyjobandeverythingstuck.Forthistest,weneededtostepinsidetheenclosedsatellitecommunicationsmaintenancevan.TheinstructorshutthedoorandstoodtherewithhisclipboardbehindmewhileIconfiguredthevan.Shortlyafterstartingthetask,hecameupfrombehindme,attackedme,pushedmeintothewallofthevan,rubbedhisgroinareaonmybodyandwhisperedinmyear,“letmehelpyou,letmehelpyou.”Thosewordstriggermetothisday.
Igotangry,Iflippedoutandpushedhimawayandtoldhimnottotouchmeeveragain.Hewassurprisedanddidn’tsayaword.Myfightorflightresponsehadkickedintooverdrive
andmyanxietywassohighthatIwasshakingwhileIfinishedconfiguringthatvanandwaitedforhimtogivemepermissiontoleavetheenclosedvan.But,Ididit.Ipassedthetest.
Unfortunately,itdidnotendthere.ThisTSgttoldmetostaybehindafterclass.BecauseIcouldnotdisobeyadirectorderwithoutconsequences,IstayedonlyforhimtotellmethathewasgoingtofailmeforattitudeeventhoughIpassedthefinaltest.Iimmediatelybrokedownandstartedcrying.AllIcouldsayiswhyareyoudoingthistome?Why?Ibeggedhimtoreconsider.Hetoldmetoreportthenextmorninganhourbeforetherestoftheclassandhewouldreconsider.IdidnotdoasorderedandIneversawhimagain.
Insteadofgoingtoschoolthenextmorning,IinsteadwenttotheAirNationalGuardliaison,whoIhadestablishedanicerelationshipwith,andIinformedherthatmyinstructorwantedtofailmeforattitude,despitepassingmytest.TheGuardgavetheTSgt.acall.HeacquiescedandIwastoldtoreporttomynextclass.WhileatKeesler,Ineversawhimagain.Ididnotreportthiscrimeforanumberofreasons.FirstIwitnessedfirsthandwhathappenswhenyoureportthattypeofbehavior.Second,Iwasonlytwoweeksawayfromgraduation,and,third,Ididnotwantaninvestigationlaunchedandriskbeingstuckonthatbasewiththatpredator.Lastly,IdidnotwanttobestigmatizedasafemalewhoallegessexualassaultbeforeIhadevenenteredtheoperationAirForce.Thesefearsandattitudesexisttothisveryday.
WhenIgotbacktotheMaineAirNationalGuard,therecruiterwasgone.HehadquithisfulltimeAGRposition,whichrarelyhappensintheNationalGuard.HewasaMSgtandheeffectivelygaveuphiscareerandhisretirement.HemovedtoNorthCarolina.Iwassorelievedthathewasgone.Again,IdidnotreportbecauseIknewIcouldpotentiallylosemycareer.Iletmyselfbecomeexcitedaboutstartingmynewcareer.Iplannedonstayinginfor20plusyearsanddespitebeingrapedandassaultedinthefirstyearofmycareer,Ilovedbeinginthemilitary,Ilovedmyjob,andIlovedbeingapartofafamilyandateam.
IthoughtIwouldbesafeattheMaineAirNationalGuard.TheCommanderputmetoworkassoonasIgotbackfromTechnicalSchooltohelpmetransitionbackintocivilianlifeandItotallyexcelledandbecameasuperiorperformer.Asaresult,unbeknownsttomemyCommanderaskedmyNCOICtocoordinatehiringmeastemporaryfederaltechnician.MyNCOICnotifiedmeandbeganthehiringprocess.IwasecstaticbeyondbeliefandmadethemostmoneyIhadevermadefordoingajobIloved!
Shortlyafterbeginningmyjob,InoticedthattheMaintenanceSuperintendent,alsomyNCOIC,andbossbegantreatingmedifferentlythantheguys.Itmademefeeluncomfortable,becauseIdidn’twanttheguysIworkedwithtoberesentful.But,IalsoknewthatIwasagreattroop,soIateupalltheextraresponsibilitythatwasassignedthinkinghemustrecognizethatIamatrueleader.No,thatwasnotthecaseatall.Eerily
similartotherecruiter,myNCOICwasbeginningtosetuphisattack.Hebeganassigningmejobsthatwouldisolatemesothathecouldmakehismove.Hewouldgivemetheassignment,thenshowupunexpectedlyto“checkinonme,”butinsteadforcedhimselfonmeeverychancehegot.Icouldnotescape.TheabuseescalatedovertimeandhebecamemoreabusivethemoreIresistedandtoldhimNO.HisattitudewasthatIshouldbeflatteredthathewantedme.Iwasinpain.Iwastheretodoajob,toservemycountry,whymustIdealwiththis?
ThemoreIfoughthimoffandbeggedhimtostop,themorehewouldescalate.Heregularlyforcedhimselfonme,butwhenIfoughtback,hecalledmenamesandbelittledme.Hewouldtellmethatmybreastsweretoosmallandtellmethatitwouldbeinmybestinterest.IwastooscaredtoreportthisbehaviorbecausehewastheCommander’srighthandman.Andinthemilitary,rankdoescomewithitsprivilegesincludingthehigherrankyouarethemorecredibilityyouhavewiththeCommander.Afterwhathappenedwiththerecruiterandthetechnicalschoolinstructor,Iwasalreadyfearfulofrankandabuseofauthority.
Meanwhile,whilemyNCOICwassexuallyassaultingmeandabusingmeduringtheweek,therewasanotherNationalGuardsman,whowasconsideredaweekendwarrior,doingthesameexactthingtome.IdidmybesttostayclearofbothbuttheywouldsneakuponmewhenIwasleastexpectingit.Itwaslikeitbecameasickgameforthem.Tothisday,Icannothandleanyonecomingupbehindmeorhoveringnearme.IwatchedbothofthemescalatewhileIfeltpowerlesstodoanythingaboutit,ifIwantedtosavemycareer.Afterawhile,theydiditinfrontofpeopleaswellandnobodysaidordidanything.Whywouldbystandersputtheircareeratriskforme?Ifelttotallyisolated.
OnenightwhenmyNCOICattemptedtorapemeinadrunkenrage,Istartedscreamingandsomeoneheardme.IescapedbutIfellapart.Iturnedintoanemotionlessrobot.IcontinuedtodoagoodjobbutIwasdyinginside.Myattitudebegantosuffer.Iwaslookingforawayout.Oneday,oneoftheprofessionalNCOsinoursquadronapproachedmeandsaidhewasconcernedaboutme.IhadjustreceivedanawardforSuperiorPerformerduringanOperationalReadinessExercise,butIwantedtogetoutandhewantedtoknowwhy.Allittookwasthatonepersonshowinggenuineconcernandcareforthefloodgatestoopen.
Iimmediatelystartedcryingandopeneduptohimforgettingthatbymilitarylaw,hewassupposedtoreportanycrimesthathebecameawareof.IbeggedhimnottoreportbecauseIwasafraidthatitwouldendmycareer.HetoldmeifIdidnotreportthathewould.IthenreportedallfouroftheperpetratorstomyCommander.
TheCommanderinitiallydoubtedme.ItwasnotuntilafterIprovidedhimwithproofthatheraisedfromaseatingpositioninangerandscreamedwithpowerfulemotion,“he
betrayedme.”TheCommanderthentoldmehehadinstructedmyNCOICtohiremebecauseofmyexcellentworkperformance.Wediscussedtherecruiterandheadmittedhewasconfusedwhytherecruitersuddenlygaveuphiscareerandretirement,butitallmadesensetohimnow.Allofthesepredatorsappearedtobestellartroops.Allofthemhadhistoriesofsexuallyassaultingothers.
Inmanyways,Iamoneoftheluckyones,whichissadtosay.MyCommanderbelievedme.HedidthebesthecouldtohandlethecaseagainstmyNCOICandhisfriendgiventhecomplexitiesinvolved.Hestrovetobefair,neutral,andimpartial.IwasforcedtoleavetheSquadronifIwantedtobesafe,whileheconductedtheinvestigation.BecausehecouldonlyinvestigateonGuardweekends,thecasegotdraggedoutformonths.WhileIwasisolatedatHeadquarters,thetwopredatorswereabletostayandinjecttheirversionofhowthingswentdown.TheyhadallthattimetoconvincemanyinthesquadronthatIwasthebadguy.Aftertheyadmittedguiltthedaypriortotheadministrativehearing,theywerebothforcedtoleavemysquadronandIwasallowedtoreturn.
Soundslikeasuccessstoryright?Wrong.MyCommanderdeemedthecrimessexualassault.WhenthecrimeswerereportedtotheAdjutantGeneralforthestate,itsomehowbecamesexualharassment.OuronlyrecoursewastofileanEEOcomplaint.Ifiledthecomplaintsagainsttwoofthefourperpetrators,becausewedidn’thavejurisdictionovertheActiveDutyAirForceTechnicalSchoolInstructorandtheRecruiterhadskippedtown.Ihadnooneassistingme.
Iwascontactedbytheoneoftheperpetrator’slawyerbothonthephoneandinwriting.Ineverresponded.Whilewaitingfortheinvestigationtoconclude,Iwasphysicallyattackedbyafriendofoneoftheperpetrator’s.Ipressedchargesbutunfortunatelythecivilianauthoritiesdidnotpursuethecase.ItoldmyCommanderandhesaidtherewasnothinghecoulddobecauseithappenedoffbase.ThedaybeforeIwastogototheAdministrativeHearingsforthe“trial”ofmyNCOICandhisfriendbothofthemcoppedaplea.TheyagreedtothepunishmentsthattheCommanderrecommended.TheCommandertoldmetheywerewillingtopleadguilty.HeaskedifIwasokaywithitsohecouldproceedwithremovingthemfromtheSquadron.IwassotiredandbeatdownbythispointthatIjustwantedittobeover.IwantedtogobacktoworkandresumethecareerthatIloved.WhenIagreedtothetermsofthepunishmentitcausedtheEEOcomplainttobewithdrawn.Therefore,theMaineAirNationalGuardeitherdidn’thavetoreportthecrimesatalltothePentagonortheycouldreportthecrimesassexualharassment.
ThepunishmentimposedbytheCommanderwasthatbothperpetratorswerepermittedtoagreetoresigninlieuofAdministrativeHearings,whichwouldhavebecomeamatterofpublicrecord.Iwasn’tofferedthechancetoproceedwithacourtmartial.Iwasgladtheyweregone,butthereasonIpressedchargeswastopreventanyotherwomanfromhaving
togothroughthis.Myeffortswerefutile.IwastoldthatbecausemyNCOIChadover18yearsofservicethathewasallowedtostayinthemilitaryuntilhereachedhistwentyyears.Whenhereachedhistwenty,hewouldbeforcedout.Nosexoffenderrecord,nothing.Becausewedidn’thaveasmuchevidenceagainsttheotherperpetrator,theNationalGuardsman,hewaskickedoutoftheMaineAirNationalGuardandgivenaLOR.Hewasdischargedhonorably;hejoinedtheNewHampshireAirNationalGuard.Ironically,thelasttimeIsawhimhewasinchargeofatrainingconferenceIwasattendingandhewasaMSgtworkingatthePentagon.Bothoftheseperpetratorsretiredwithfullmilitarybenefits.Meanwhile,IwasretaliatedagainstbytheenlistedChainofCommand.
In2006,TheNCOintheMaineAirNationalGuard,whohadmephysicallybeat,wasfoundguiltyofmanslaughterandleavingthesceneofanaccidentinanothercase.Butbecausehehadatop‐secretsecurityclearancehesomehowgotoff.AndasIwentbacktomysquadron,Ihadtoworkwiththisman.Itriedtopullmyselftogetherandcontinuewithmycareer,butinsteadIwasmetwithresistancefromalmosteveryoneIencountered.Iwasthebadguy,becauseImadethepredatorslosetheirjobs.Asacrueljoke,menliterallyhuggedthewallasIpassedbypretendingImightfalselyaccusethemofassault.Iwastreatedlikealeper.Iwaspulledfromleadershippositions.IwasdeniedtrainingIneededtobecomeeligibleformySSgtstripe.Icontinuallyaskedtocompletemytrainingandwascalledaspoiledbrat,bytheOfficerinCharge.AndIwasassignedmenialtasksthatisolatedme.Bythistime,theCommanderwhoinvestigatedthecasehadbeenpromotedtoHeadquartersandanewCommanderwasincharge.Hedependedheavilyontheenlistedchainofcommandandwaswillingtosellmeoutforthemission.
Ifeltlikeanoutcastandpeopledidnothidetheirdisdainforme.Ihadnomorefightleftinme.Ididn’twanttogiveupmycareer,soItransferredtotheMassachusettsNationalGuard,whichwasafour‐hourdriveoneway.Itwastheonlywaytocontinuemycareerprogressionandpromotions.Ineededtoremaininthesamecareerfield,atleastuntilIwasaTSgt.
Iwentfromonesnake’spittoanother.MyoldsquadroncalledupmynewsquadronandinformedthemthatIwasatroublemaker.Aperson,inmyenlistedchainofcommand,sharedthiswithmewhenIaskedwhyeveryonewastreatingmesobadly.Iwasmetwithresistancefromthegetgo,despitethefactthatIwasasupertroopandworkedveryhardatmyjob.WhileservingattheMassachusettsAirNationalGuard,Iexperiencedgenderdiscrimination.Iwasheldtodoublestandards.Ifotherscameinlate,itwasnobigdeal.IfIcameinoneminutelate,Iwasgettinghauledintoanofficeforabigmeetingwith3or4people.MynewCommanderrecognizedmyskillsandconsideredmeasubjectmatterexpert.Heevenhiredmeduringtheweektohelpkeepthingsrunningsmoothlybecauseofthemultipledeploymentsthesquadronenduredafter9/11.Ihelpedkeepthingsrunningsmoothlybackhomeandcontinuedtotrainallthenewairmenthatcameintothe
squadron.Wehadalotoffolksleaveaftertheirfirstdeploymentandtheonlyonesleftweretheoneswhowantedtobethere.Asaresult,wegotalotofnewairman.
MynewsquadronCommanderrecognizedthatIwasasuperiorperformerandpromotedmetoSSgtshortlyaftertransferringtothatbase.TheMaineAirNationalGuardwouldnotgivememySSgtstripeclaimingthatIlackedleadershipskills,despitethefactthatIwasanAirmanLeadershipSchoolinstructor,notonlymetthestandardsbutexceededthem,includinggoingtoAirmanLeadershipSchoolinperson,unlikealotofNationalGuardsman.And,IhadtofighttheMassachusettsAirNationalGuardformyTSgtstripedespitethefactthatIhadnotonlymetthestandardsbutalsofarexceededthem.Ihadbecomeaveryeffectivesatellitecommunicationstrainerandhadarecordsetuptime.Thestrawthatbrokethecamel’sbackwasthedaythatmyNCOICtoldmethathewasgoingtomakeoneoftheAirmanthatItrainedtheTeamChief.Ihad8yearsinthefield,whilethisairmanhadonlytwo.IdemandedtoseetheFirstShirtregardingthisissuebecauseIdidn’twanttoturnthisintoanEEOissue.
MyChainofCommandeventuallyacquiescedandgavememyTSgtstripeandtheTeamChiefposition.Iwasthemostqualifiedtodothejob.But,thisjobcamewithbigconsequences.Insteadofsupportingmeinmyposition,Iwasoverworked,blamedforthingsoutofmycontrol,andnotrespected.IwasleftwithnosupportordirectionsoIhadtocomeinduringtheweekandteachmyself.Afterteachingmyself,Iwouldthencreatestandardoperatingprocedurestohelptrainmytroops.IalwaystrainedmyselfoutofajobbecauseItookservingseriously.Ifanythingwastohappentome,IneededtohavepeoplethatcouldseamlesslypickupwhereIleftoff.
AftermonthsofsettingmeuptofailtheythreatenedtopullmyTSgtstripefrommeasapunishmentfor“substandardperformance.”Theyhadbeenplanningitforquitesometimebecausebythistime,theyhadtheCommanderontheirsideandIdidn’tstandachance.Asaresult,IfiledanEEOcomplaintagainstmyNCOICforgenderdiscrimination.IchosetoreportinformallybecauseIhadbeenthroughaformalreportingprocessbefore.Ididnothavetheenergy.
MyCommanderconductedhisinvestigationanddeterminedthatmyallegationscouldnotbesubstantiated,butinthesamebreathtoldmethatIcouldhaveanythingIwanted.AllIwantedwastogotomyplannedNCOAcademySchoolandbetransferredoutofthatsquadron.Ialsonolongerwantedtoworkformyabusiveandbelittlingbossandrefusedtoreturnbacktosatellitecommunications.Again,notahugevictorybutatleastIwasabletoescapethathorriblyoppressiveenvironment.Bythistimeinmycareer,Iwasbeginningtounravelandfeelcompletelyreadytobreak.IdecidedtotransferbacktotheMaineAirNationalGuardandthistimeIchoseacriticalcareerfieldwherewomenmightbetreatedalittlebetterthaninthemaintenancefield.MybosswaspromotedtoSMSgtshortlyafter.
ImetmyhusbandatKeeslerwhileattendinganothertrainingschoolin2001.Wefinallymadethecommitmenttooneanotherin2005eventhoughIrealizedIwasseverelydamagedbytherape,sexualharassment,sexualassault,abuse,retaliation,andgenderdiscrimination.Loveistheonlythingthatpulledmethroughthisrelationship,becauseIwasliterallyincapableofhavinginterpersonalrelationships.Iwashardened,damaged,hypervigilant,anddefensive.
Becauseofhim,IreachedouttotheVAwhenIfoundoutthattheyfinallyweretreatingMilitarySexualTrauma.IhavebeengettingcounselingandtreatmentattheVAsince2006.Asaresultofgettingthathelp,IwasforcedtolistonmysecurityclearanceformthatIwasreceivingcounselingformilitarysexualtrauma.ThesecurityclearancefolkswantedareleaseofinformationsignedsotheycouldgainaccesstomymedicalrecordsfromtheVA.Isignedthem,outoffear.But,theythencalledtheVAandrevokedit,essentiallyendingmycareer.IdidnotwanttojeopardizemyfuturecareeropportunitiesbecauseIhadbeenlabeledanddiagnosedwithPTSDfrommilitarysexualassault.
AfterbeingmedicallyretiredfromtheAirForceforPTSDduetoMST,Ifeltlikeafishoutofwater.Ihadnopurposeinlife.Iwastakingatonofprescriptionmedications,tohelpmefeellessangry,depressed,andhelpmelivewithoutconstantanxietyandfear.IfeltlikeIhadlostmylife’sdreamandtherewasnoreasontoliveanymore.Icameveryclosetoendingmyownlife,becauseIfeltbroken,damaged,andunsureofmyself.IliterallyfeltlikeIwasinvisibleandwhatIthoughtorfeltdidnotmatter.IwantedtodiebecauseIbasicallygotfiredforbeingraped.
Afterretiringfromthemilitaryin2010,haditnotbeenformyworkwiththeMilitaryRapeCrisisCenterandProtectOurDefendersandorganizationslikeSWAN,Idon’tknowifIwouldbeheretoday.
Workingwithveteransandactivedutypersonnelwhoarevictimsofmilitarysexualassault,IcametorecognizethatIhadbeenshamedintosilence.Myfellowveteranshelpedmefindmyvoiceagain.
Ifanyoneevertellsyouthatwomenaretheweakersex,don’tyoubelieveit.
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Letter from Jennifer Stowell Norris' NCOIC at Maine Air National Guard (1998) Page 1 of 3
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Letter from Jennifer Stowell Norris' NCOIC at Maine Air National Guard (1998) Page 2 of 3
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Letter from Jennifer Stowell Norris' NCOIC at Maine Air National Guard (1998) Page 3 of 3
