Stanford Class Presidents, Session One: Feedback
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Feedback & Photo by Ashraful Kadir [link ] Coaching, Part 1 October 19, 2015 Ed Batista @ the Stanford Class Presidents
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Transcript of Stanford Class Presidents, Session One: Feedback
Feedback &
Photo by Ashraful Kadir [link]
Coaching, Part 1
October 19, 2015Ed Batista@ the Stanford Class Presidents
Photo:
Seth
Anders
on
Who am I?
Executive coachInstructor & GSB alumwww.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
Photo:
Seth
Anders
on
Why feedbackmatters to me…Touchy FeelyChanged my view of myselfImpact on my professional path & life
Photo:
Seth
Anders
on
& why coachingdoes, too
Started as a clientChanged my view of leadershipImpact on my clients & GSB students
Photo by Alex Eflon [link]
Where are weToday: Feedback as an interpersonal skillNext time: Coaching as a leadership tool
going?
How will weDiscussion (~40 min)Exercises & debriefs (~1 hr 15 mins)Work as a group & in pairs
get there?
Photo by Chloe Fan [link]
Concepts #1Today’s headlineThe simplest feedback modelFeelings
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
The headlineFeedback is stressfulSo critique with skill& express more heartfelt appreciation
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
ReadMore
The simplestWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
FeelingsDisclosing feelings = vulnerableBut feelings influenceAnd vulnerability closenessComfort with discomfort
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
ReadMore
Concepts #25 levelsHierarchy of needsSafety, trust, intimacySocial threatSCARF model
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
5 levels
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Richard FranciscoIn what ways do we communicate?Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
5 levels1: Ritual2: Extended Ritual3: Content4: Feelings About Content
5: Feelings About Each Other
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
5 levels
5: Feelings About Each Other
HardestRiskiest
Most powerful for feedback
Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Abraham MaslowWhat motivates us as human beings?
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Physiological
Safety
Love & belonging
Esteem
Self-actualization
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Parallels in groups & relationships
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability
Learning, self-awareness & change
In groups & relationships…
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
Safety, trust,intimacySafety = I won’t get hurtTrust = I believe you & you believe meIntimacy = We can make the private public
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Safety, trust,intimacyFeedback can create these qualitiesBut there’s a problem…
Can I give you
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
some feedback?
Feedback and
Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
social threat
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
Physiological
Photo by State Farm [link]
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
Emotional
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat responseaka “Fight, flight or freeze”
CognitiveDecision-makingProblem-solvingCollaboration
Social threat(Some) social situations ≈ Physical threatsMany times/dayMost common location?
Social threat
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Social threatPhysiological/emotional response plus…Cognitive impairmentDecision-makingProblem-solvingCollaboration
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Social threatResult?Massive communication failureWe give feedback ineffectivelyWe receive it poorly
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
ReadMore
SCARF modelDavid RockWhat social situations trigger a threat response?How can we minimize the risk of social threat?How can we create safety?
ReadMore
SCARF modelStatusCertaintyAutonomyRelatednessFairness
Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
Use the modelWhen giving feedback…Be mindful of statusMinimize uncertaintyMaximize autonomyBuild the relationship*Play fair*
Use the modelWhen getting feedback…Cultivate in-the-moment awarenessRecognize our threat responseManage our emotionsSlow things down
RelationshipsJohn GottmanWhat characterizes successful relationships?
RelationshipsFeeling known by the otherA culture of appreciationResponding to “bids”Mutual influence
ReadMore
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The netDavid BradfordHow to improve communication?How to minimize defensiveness?How can we play fair?
The netMe You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
orMyintention
What I knowMe
Myintention
Mybehavi
or
What I don’tYou
Yourrespons
e
What you know
You
Yourrespons
e
Mybehavi
or
What you don’tMe
Myintention
Use the modelIntent ≠ impactMy intention doesn’t guarantee your responseImpact ≠ intentYour response wasn’t necessarily my intention
Use the modelStay on our side of the netFocus on observed behaviorDisclose our responseWhen you do [X], I feel [Y].
Use the modelResult?Lower risk of social threatLess chance of defensivenessIncreased sense of fairness
To sum upBuild safety, trust & intimacyRemember SCARF & the NetMinimize social threatLess stressful feedbackMore learning
Thank you!
Photo by Brett Casadonte [link]
www.edbatista.com
