Standing Up Against Bullying

True/False

1. Carrington is a bully free school.2. I am always treated by my peers with the

respect that I deserve.3. I always treat others the way that I want

to be treated.4. If I see someone being bullied or

harassed, I would stand up for them or tell an adult what is happening.

What is Bullying?

Bullying is:repeated, intentional, aggressive behavior towards one person from another person or group of people.

Bullying involves: the bully, the victim, and the bystander.

What are the different forms of bullying?

Physical Aggression

Social or Relationship Aggression

Verbal or Written Aggression

Intimidation Cyber bullying

BullyingHarassment

For example…

Physical: Pushing, shoving, hitting, kicking, breaking others’ things

Social:Spreading

rumors, ignoring, excluding, having

friends choose sides, making someone do

something they don’t want to do

Verbal or Written:Name-calling,

insulting, threatening, writing/drawing mean

notes and pictures

Intimidation:Confronting, posturing,

giving dirty looks, causing a threatened feeling Cyber bullying

Bullying

Harassment: Repeatedly bothering

someone, making jokes or

comments that make someone uncomfortable

(sexual or racial).

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying = Sending messages or postings that are used to torment, threaten, harass, humiliate, embarrass or otherwise target another person.

FacebookText messages

Instant messagesSkypeEmailsTwitter

A closer look at bullying What do all these behaviors have in common?

They're examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that's bullying.

Why Students Bully (click for video)What do you think about what the students

say in the video? Why do you think students might bully another student?

Why do people bully others?

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Some are bigger or taller than everyone. Some get in trouble a lot. Some are popular kids who seem to "have it all," with lots of friends and good grades. But look inside their heads and you'll find one thing that they all have in common: Something or someone is making them feel insecure, so they're bullying to make themselves feel better.

For example, some students may bully for these reasons: She's having problems in other parts of her life, like something going on in her family or

she is struggling in school. He may not feel like he's getting enough attention from his parents. She's watched her parents or older siblings get their way by being angry or pushing other

people around. He's has been bullied himself, maybe by another kid or a brother or sister...or even his own

parents. She wants to be popular and gain power over others Peer pressure! Some students are nice to you when they are alone and then are mean to

you around certain friends.

HA HA SOStrategies for dealing with bullying:

Help – Seek assistance from a friend, school official or parent. Also seek help if other strategies are not working.

Assert Yourself – Make assertive statements to the bully. This is only useful in less severe situations, and usually one on one. Use “I statements” such as "I don't like it when you say that to me, please stop” or “Please stop tripping me when I walk by”.

Humor - You can try to make a joke about what the bully said, but not about the bully. For example, when someone makes fun of your new hairstyle “I am glad you care about what I look like”.

Avoid – Avoid places where the bully hangs out.

HA HA SO

Self-Talk - When someone is mean to you, make sure you build yourself back up by thinking positive statements to yourself such as, “I'm okay. They are just being mean because they are insecure. At least I am a nice person”.

Own It - Deflect a put-down by owning it. For example, if some says, "That's an ugly dress." You can say, "I don't like it either, my mom made me wear it”. You can also combine these comments with assertive statements. For example, “Yes, I did fail the test, but I don’t appreciate you looking at my paper.”

What to do if the bullying does not stop:

1. Tell an Adult! It's not "tattling“ or “snitching”. It's asking the people who care about you to help when you really need it. If you feel you can't tell your parents, or your parents don't give you the support you need, talk to another adult you trust: a teacher, principal, school counselor, or someone at your church.

2. Involve the School! If the bullying happens at school, make sure your parents discuss it with a school official, not only with the parents of the bully.

3. Write it Down! If you feel you can't talk to anyone, try writing a letter about what's happening. Keep a copy for yourself and give it to an adult you trust. Keep track of the bullying. It is very helpful for adults to know the details of a situation: when, where, and how the bullying occurred, as well as who what involved, including any witnesses.

4. Bring a Friend! If you don't want to talk to someone alone, bring a friend, sibling, or parent. It especially helps to bring someone who has seen the bullying.

What can you, the bystander do if you witness bullying?

Be a part of the solution (Click for Video)

1. Refuse to join in or walk away when bullies are acting up. Going along with the bully just encourages them. If the bully is your friend, you may tell them you don’t want them to treat others that way.

2. Distract the bully by changing the subject, telling a joke, or encouraging the bully to do something else.

3. Report any bullying you see to a trusted adult.

4. Speak out. This is more difficult and takes courage. If possible, get a friend or two to join you. When you see bullying taking place, speak out against it. Use simple phrases like “leave her alone” or “stop picking on him”.

5. Stand by the victim. Ask the victim to join you and your friends or

talk to the victim afterward and tell them you do not agree with the bully.

Communicating Assertively

There are 3 types of communication styles that people often use:

Passive Assertive Aggressive

You should aim to use an assertive style in communicating with others. This means that you stand up for yourself, but do not offend or attack

others. In a bullying situation, the bully would display Aggressive communication and

behavior, and the victim may appear passive. The bystander has the opportunity to be assertive in the situation and intervene to stop the

bullying.

Communicating Assertively

“I messages” are helpful in communicating how you feel without attacking the other person or putting them on the defense:

I feel _____________________because __________________and I would like you to ________________________________.

Using Assertive Communication to Solve Normal Conflicts

Steps for Solving Conflicts:

1. Cool Off! Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being very calm and 10 being explosively angry. If you are an 8 or 9 for example, this is not the time to resolve a conflict with someone.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

2. Use an “I message” to communicate how you feel without attacking the other person or putting them on the defense.

3. Take turns sharing your perspective and listening to the other person’s perspective with an open mind. Take deep breaths, tell yourself to calm down, and count backwards from 10 (in your head) if you start to feel angry or upset at the response. Remember you can always take a break, walk away, and resume the talk later if you need to.

4. Be willing to Compromise. Offer things you can do to solve the conflict in addition to what you want the other person to do. Usually, when each person gives and gets something they want, both people are happy.

Practice!

Charades and I messages

Music Video

Exit Slip: Journal Page