Stages of Marriage12312

8/10/2019 Stages of Marriage12312

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Stages of Marriage

Most experts agree that marriage (and other long-term) relationships tend to evolve in common stages:

Romance or Honeymoon Stage - Couples are swept up in the excitement and romance of their relationship. Differences seem relativelyunimportant (and can even be exciting), as they focus on discovering each other and sharing life together. Sexual attraction is usually strong.'Getting bonded' brain chemistry prevails. Many couples assume that their relationship will naturally work itself out over time with love assufficient motivation. Sometimes this stage lasts through early marriage, but the next 'reality' stage often sets in even before the wedding andcan be the source of 'cold feet'. (See article on cold feet.)

Reality Stage - Couples learn more about themselves and each other in situations they havent faced together before. Some of what theyencounter may not be congruent with their pre-existing assumptions and expectations and may be conflictual. Once married, there is a lotmore to disagree about than during dating or even living together. Some feelings of disappointment, aloneness and other reactions are normal,along with a let-down after the activity and excitement of the wedding period.

Because of challenging nature of this normal stage, the first two years of marriage have the highest risk of affairs and divorce. Many couplesmisinterpret this normal transition for incompatibility and often worry that they've made a mistake. They don't understand that manysignificant conflicts, while not resolvable, can be successfully managed and that this is normal in successful, happy marriages. They're oftenembarrassed to admit these reactions to their spouse, especially if they don't understand that these reactions are normal.

Often sex seems more routine as the initial 'rush' of sexual excitement and 'getting bonded' brain chemistry subsides and 'partner novelty'diminishes. Many people begin to feel that the 'spark' has left their relationship; that they aren't 'in love' any longer. This is another factor thatcouples often misinterpret. (See article on married sexuality.)

Childrearing Sub-Stage - The arrival of children is a particularly critical 'new reality' transition for marriages. Kids transform the focus of afamily and can dramatically increase the stress level. There is simply so much more work, distraction, time pressure and potential conflictinherent in childrearing. Most marriages are not adequately equipped to cope well with this new family reality. It's very difficult to keepsufficient focus on the marriage relationship with the attention that kids demands, but it is essential to do so. The infancy of the second child isone of the riskiest periods in a marriage, since all these stress factors are multiplied with two young children requiring intensive attention in thefamily. (See our article on Becoming Parents.)

Couples who don't intentionally strategize and plan to keep their intimacy strong can begin to feel alienated and drift apart. This is why it's soimportant to have marriage preparation before the wedding or immediately after, before the more demanding marriage phases begin. It's a loteasier to plan to keep up the positive momentum of your relationship during the early phases than after problem patterns and habits haveemerged. Unfortunately, many couples don't understand the need for this until negativity begins to be more of a factor.

Accommodation Stage - Couples work to renew their relationship on a down-to-earth basis by learning about their needs and managing theirdifferences and areas of conflict. (See our article on Bonding & Marriage Success.)

Transformation or Success Stage - Couples enjoy the benefits of a marriage that satisfies their needs and provides mutual support. This leadsto more profound intimacy over the years as the couple shares the experience of ups and downs. They work to keep it that way. There isanother risky transition after about 16 years (when the first child enters adolescence.

It is very important to the success of your marriage that you understand these normal stages of marriage development, so you will be preparedfor marriages challenges. MST helps to minimize adjustment issues by helping you to lay the groundwork for mutual understanding andrealistic expectations. The skills and habits that you develop in MST will facilitate your accommodation work and assist you in transformingyour relationship to reach long-term success. With these stages in mind, you can see how important it is to begin the process of preparationearly in your relationship.


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Benefits of dating and the social graces recommended

1. Benefits of Dating and the Social Graces Recommended During Dating2. Benefits of Dating Dating i s a part of exploration of looking around to find one person whom you want toenjoy your time with and share your experiences. Although it can start on friendly dating, this friendship canbe nurtured until it develops into true love.3. Social Graces Recommended During Dating When b oy asks a girl for a date, they should be aware of theresponsibilities and privileges that go with it. For a date to be successful and pleasant the following socialgraces are recommended: 1. Boys and girls should make it their obligation to inform their parents about theirplans. 2. Boys should always take the initiative in making dates, except for some instances when girls neededhelp. 3. Be considerate when accepting or rejecting a date. 4. A girl should be ready when the boys call forher dressed a nd groomed for the occasion. 5. A boy is expected to arrive at the girls house on time. 4. Social Graces Recommended During Dating 6. When having his own or hiring a car, the boy must escort thegirl to the car and opens the door for her before getting in. in leaving the car he gets out first before the girl.7. When taking a bus, the boy helps the girl first and follows her to her seat. When leaving the bus, boy getsoff first so that he can assist the girl on getting off. 8. When walking together the girl must be on the rightside of the boy. 9. When entering a restaurant, the boy pulls out the door for her and follows her in. Heshould also pull out a chair for the girl and seats her. 10. When the boy takes the girl home after a date, heshould escort her to the door. If the parents are waiting she may invite the boy to come in for a while.5. Social Graces Recommended During Dating 11.It is the girl responsibility to say when to go home and tokeep track of the time. 12.Both boys and girls must have an understanding with their parents about the timethey will be home after the date. 13.The parents or family must be informed of any changes of plan. 14.Theboy takes care of the expenses of the date for which he has extended the invitation. It can be a Dutch treat ifthere is any agreement of both to share in the expenses.6. Possible Risk in Dating Dating usually starts in groups. After a certain period of time and experience ingroup dating, two girls and two boys may plan a double date. As teenagers mature, they occasionally go outon single dates. Just as there are benefits which may be derived from dating, there are also certain risk ordanger in going out when young people are not emotionally stable.7. Possible Risk in Dating 1. Strong emotional involvement may develop which may lead to marriage beforethey are ready. 2. Social growth of both boys and girls may not be develop which may lead to failure inschool. 3. It might be lead to exploitation. One partner may take advantage of the partner's popularity, sexualdesires and revenge. 4. Financial problems may occur on the part of the body. 5. It can be cause of conflictbetween the parents and the teenager.
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Adjustment were made early in their married

As one young woman said, "Marriage is not what I had assumed it would be....Marriage is like taking anairplane to Florida for a relaxing vacation in January, and when you get off the plane you find you're inthe Swiss Alps. There is cold and snow instead of swimming and sunshine. Well, after a while, when youbuy winter clothes and learn how to ski and learn to talk a new foreign language, you can have just asgood a vacation in the Swiss Alps as you can in Florida."This young woman was able to work to make her marriage a happy one, but she first went through aperiod of "disillusionment" when the difference between the realities of marriage and her romanticideals became very clear.When couples realize that some things aren't what they expected, they are likely to think thatsomething is wrong with their marriage and perhaps things would have gone better in a differentmarriage to a different person.That's not necessarily true, though. Almost everyone suffers some serious disappointments within a fewmonths after marriage. The main reason disappointment with marriage is almost inevitable is that ourculture views a happy marriage as one of unending romance. Romantic love, however, is almost certain

to fade with time. This is because romantic love is based on physical and emotional longing and desire.Once these desires are filled, that "big turn on" of romantic love becomes less intense.In addition, the romantic approach we take to courtship and mate selection leads us to idealize ourspouse unrealistically. Sooner or later, these expectations are re-examined and compared to morerealistic ones. Spouses sometimes accuse each other of changing but it is more likely that they are justfinally seeing each other as they really are.There have been many definitions of love, and love means something a little different to each of us. Ilike the definition given by psychologist Harry Stack Sullivan best: "When the satisfaction or the securityof another person becomes as significant for one as is one's own satisfaction or security, then the stateof love exists."The good news about the disappointment couples might experience in the early years of marriage is that

once spouses accept one another as they really are, they are able to develop the kind of bond Sullivandescribes. That kind of attachment is far more durable, secure, and rewarding than the romantic loveusually depicted in the media today.To turn this "honeymoon's over" period into a growth experience requires work. Here are a fewimportant points:1. Look at this period as a transition all couples go through, not as a sign of a bad marriage.2. Concentrate on adapting yourself rather than trying to change the other person. In doing so, you'llfind attitude may be responsible for a good share of the problem and the best way to change someoneelse's behavior is to change your own. People are more likely to change when they feel accepted.3. Share your feelings about the adjustment with your spouse. This can, of course, be destructive if it isnot done with consideration. Don't attack, accuse, or name call. "You lied to me about yourself," will notbe very helpful. "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling like things are different than I expected" canopen the door to discussion. It will probably be reassuring to both to realize that the spouse has also hadfeelings of disappointment and the need for adjustment.4. Strengthen the marital commitment. Rather than using energy to wish for someone else (with whomthere will be just as many or even more adjustments) invest effort in being a good partner and doing allyou can to be considerate of your partner.5. Pour on positives. One of the simplest, but most significant things couples can do is to ignore thenegative and lavish each other with positive appreciation, praise, and affection. Research has shownthat strong marriages need a balance of five positives to one negative.


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Discomforts of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a time of radical change in a womans whole body. The signs and symptoms of thesechanges can manifest themselves in many ways. A woman may experience one, few or all of thenormal discomforts of pregnancy.

Breast tenderness or tingling - This may one of the first signs and symptoms of pregnancyor in subsequent pregnancies may not be very apparent. Either way the breasts will readythemselves for the job of providing nourishment for the new baby.

Abdominal Cramping or Backache The enlarging uterus and stretching and growinground ligaments can cause cramping and pain along the sides of the abdomen and pain in thelower back. This usually does not last long and but can be very uncomfortable. It is notaccompanied by any other symptoms and may be helped by rest or a warm bath

Frequent urination Because the bladder is in such close proximity to the uterus, theadditional bulk of the uterus pressing on the bladder (especially in the 1 st and 3 rd trimesters)can make frequent trips to the bathroom necessary. Report symptoms of burning or pain aturination, or fever, to your care provider immediately. as this can be signs of a UTI (urinarytract infection).

Fatigue When you think about it, it would be very unusual for a pregnant woman to not betired. The body is in a production mode that is not to be believed. It is making hormones,uterine muscle, baby, placenta, breast tissue and connective tissue. Let your fatigue be asignal to set rest as a top priority.

Constipation, Diarrhea, Bloating, Indigestion or Heartburn These discomforts probablystem from the large production of pregnancy hormones and their effect of relaxing andslowing the entire gastrointestinal tract. These symptoms are very uncomfortable but may inturn make for better nutrient absorption for the baby.

Dizziness or Shortness of Breath During the early weeks of pregnancy, you may findyourself gasping for air halfway up a staircase that you previously climbed two steps at atime. You may also find yourself dizzy and grabbing for something to hold on to the next timeyou get up rapidly. These symptoms are due to a circulatory system that is rapidly expandingwithout the fluid to fill it completely. This is why pregnant women are encouraged to drinkplenty of extra fluid.

Headaches In the first trimester, an increase in the incidence of headaches is common.This probably due to the fluid balance changes brought on by the increase of femalehormones.

Nasal Stuffiness, Nose Bleeds - Again those pesky pregnancy hormones contribute to anincrease of blood flow to the mucous membranes of the nose causing stuffiness and possiblypost-nasal drainage.

Excessive Salivation - The saliva glands also step up production. This is often worse forthose women experiencing nausea.

Food Aversions or Cravings You used to like cauliflower but now the smell has yourunning for the bathroom or youve never really liked fruit but suddenly you are eating 7oranges a day. These pregnancy food cravings or aversions are perfectly normal and again arebrought on by increasing hormones. If you are craving strange things like dirt, let your careprovider know.

Mood Swings "Wearing your heart on your sleeve" is certainly a phrase that is appropriateduring pregnancy. Laughing one minute and crying the next and leaving your partner totally

confused in the process, can be the reality that some women experience during pregnancy.Again the stress of the situation (pregnancy) coupled with those wild hormonal fluctuationsmay keep your emotions just under the surface ready to spring forth at the next inopportunemoment.


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Successful married life

1. Love Comes First: Physical love is good, but there has to be genuine spiritual lovealso in your heart. Your immediate neighbor is your own spouse. So let charity begin athome and set an example by loving your spouse first and foremost. Follow the scripture:"Love thy neighbor as thyself".2. Narrow the Gulf: Whether it is a love marriage, arranged marriage or forcedmarriage, differences are bound to arise. Both of you come from different backgrounds,upbringings and environments. You must be ready to overlook the sharp differences,lapses or shortcomings.3. Forgive & Forget: Remember, to forgive is divine, and keep doing it, even if you have

to repeat this process for infinite times.

4. Begin the Day Cool: Early in the morning, both spouses should try to remain calm andcool. No discussions or arguments in the early morning hours.

5. Silence Can Save: When you leave home for work in the morning, be at your best behavior. If one of you is provoked or complains, silence is the best answer. Conversely,you can say, "We will discuss it in the evening".6. Inquire & Appreciate: After you return home, inquire and take interest in oneanother's activity during the day: "How was your day?" You must show your genuineappreciation and sympathy. Top it with a pleasant smile.7. Listen & Sympathize: Do listen to your spouse attentively and sympathetically. Neverignore. Even at your place of work, if you get a telephone call from your partner, be

polite and courteous, in spite of your busy schedule.8. Don't Forget to Compliment: Make use of "Thank you", "Well done", "You have

done a good job", and "I am sorry", as frequently as is necessary. Be generous in your praise and compliments.9. Don't Compare: Do not enter into comparisons. No one is 100% perfect or 100%imperfect. We all have flaws and shortcomings. Always look at the good qualities of your

spouse.

10. Keep Smiling: Be cheerful and smile away your problems. Give a smile as often asyou can. Only a human person is endowed with this blessing. Animals do not have thisrare faculty. Did you know you use only 20 muscles for a smile but 70 muscles for afrown? So, keep smiling!


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The Importance of Pre- and

Post-natal Care

When a woman's pregnancy has been diagnosed, she should immediately go to an antenatal clinicto receive regular check-ups before the baby is born. These are designed to detect problems of theunborn baby before symptoms occur so that more help can be given.

The doctor will also examine the mother, checking heart and lungs, spine, stomach and pelvis - allvital tests to ensure that she has no disease. Her urine will also be checked for protein (to excludekidney disease) and sugar (to exclude diabetes). A small blood sample will also be taken from herarm to be examined for iron content and to check the blood group.

Post natal care is likewise necessary to ensure that no complications have developed in the womanafter childbirth.This will include an examination of the stomach and pelvis to see to it that the pelvicorgans have returned to their pre-pregnant state.Other concerns such as post-natal depression,

contraception and planning of the family, and how to get back into shape may also be discussed.


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"Rude"

Saturday morning jumped out of bedAnd put on my best suit

Got in my car and raced like a jet

All the way to youKnocked on your door with heart in my

handTo ask you a question

'Cause I know that you're an old-fashioned man, yeah

Can I have your daughter for the rest ofmy life?

Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to knowYou say I'll never get your blessing 'til the

day I dieTough luck, my friend, but the answer is

'No'

Why you gotta be so rude?Don't you know I'm human too?

Why you gotta be so rude?I'm gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girlMarry her anyway

Marry that girlYeah, no matter what you say

Marry that girl

And we'll be a familyWhy you gotta be so

Rude

I hate to do this, you leave no choiceCan't live without her

Love me or hate me we will be boysStanding at that altarOr we will run away

To another galaxy, you knowYou know she's in love with me

She will go anywhere I go


Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to knowYou say I'll never get your blessing 'til the

day I dieTough luck, my friend, 'cause the answer's

still 'No"

Why you gotta be so rude?

Don't you know I'm human too?Why you gotta be so rude?

I'm gonna marry her anyway


Marry that girlNo matter what you say

Marry that girlAnd we'll be a familyWhy you gotta be so

RudeRude


Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to knowYou say, I'll never get your blessing 'til the

day I dieTough luck, my friend, but 'No' still means

'No'!

Why you gotta be so rude?Don't you know I'm human too?

Why you gotta be so rude?

I'm gonna marry her anyway


Marry that girlNo matter what you say

Marry that girlAnd we'll be a familyWhy you gotta be so

RudeWhy you gotta be so

RudeWhy you gotta be so rude?


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"Animals"

Baby, I'm preying on youtonight

Hunt you down eat youalive

Just like animalsAnimals

Like animals

Maybe you think that youcan hide

I can smell your scent formiles


Like animalsBaby, I'm

So what you trying to doto me

It's like we can't stopwe're enemies

But we get along whenI'm inside you

You're like a drug that'skilling me

I cut you out entirelyBut I get so high when

I'm inside you

Yeah you can start overyou can run free

You can find other fish inthe sea

You can pretend it'smeant to be

But you can't stay awayfrom me

I can still hear youmaking that sound

Taking me down rollingon the ground

You can pretend that itwas meBut no




Like animals





So if I run it's not enoughYou're still in my head

forever stuckSo you can do what you

wanna doI love your lies I'll eat 'em

upBut don't deny the animal

That comes alive whenI'm inside you

Yeah you can start overyou can run free

You can find other fish inthe sea

You can pretend it'smeant to be

But you can't stay awayfrom me

I can still hear you

making that soundTaking me down rollingon the ground

You can pretend that itwas meBut no




Like animals




Like animals

Baby, I'm

Don't tell no lie, lie lie lieYou can't deny, ny ny ny

That beast inside, sideside side

Yeah yeah yeah

No girl don't lie, lie lie lieYou can't deny, ny ny ny

The beast inside, sideside side

Yeah yeah yeah

Yo...Whoa...Whoa...


Like animalsJust like animals (yeah...)

Animals (yeah...)Like animals (yeah...)

Ow




Like animals





Don't tell no lie, lie lie lieYou can't deny, ny ny ny


Yeah yeah yeah

No girl don't lie, lie lie lieYou can't deny, ny ny ny


Yeah yeah yeah


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Kung alam mo lang lyricsBy roxie barceloPosted by: joie:p

Woohh..yeah..yeaahh..ehhyeaaaahhh..Yeaauhh..ohhh..huuu..hmmm..

Hindi mo na kailangan paIto?y sabihin paNa mayro?ng nagbagoSa loob ng puso mo

Wala akong magagawaKung ?di palayain ka

Kaya pinilit kongHuwag aminin sa iyo

Kung alam mo lang kayaAng tunay na nadaramaNanaisin mo pa bangLumayo sa piling ko

At kung alam mo lang sanaKailan ma?y di mawawalaAng pag-ibig ko sa ?yoLaging nasa puso ko

Akala ko ay kaya naNgayong wala ka naNgunit hindi palaLimutin ka?y ?di magawa

Palagi kong tinatanongSa sarili kong itoIkaw ba?y lalayoKung lahat ay inamin ko

Kung alam mo lang kayaAng tunay na nadaramaNanaisin mo pa bangLumayo sa piling ko?ohhh

At kung alam mo lang sanaKailan ma?y ?di mawawalaAng pag-ibig ko sa ?yoLaging nasa puso ko

Hmmm..

Pipilitin kong itago ang lahat n?itoNgunit patuloy kong tanongKailan kaya magwawakasOhh..ito

Kung alam mo lang kayaAng tunay na nadaramaNanaisin mo pa bang

Lumayo sa piling ko?ohhh

At kung alam mo lang sanaKailan ma?y ?di mawawalaAng pag-ibig ko sa ?yoLaging nasa puso ko

Kung alam mo lang kayaAng tunay na nadaramaNanaisin mo pa baLumayo sa piling ko

Ohhhh..ohhh..uhh..

Stages of Marriage12312

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