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SPOTNIK
CHILDREN'S ACTION ADVENTURE
A Russian Test Animal crash-lands in Kecksburg, PA, which sets in motion a "classified" UFO scare that ultimately leads to healing
the heart of an orphaned young boy.
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SPOTNIK
FADE IN:
EXT. STARRY SKY - NIGHT
TITLES appear against a beautiful night sky:
“On December 9th, 1965an Unidentified Flying Object
crash-landed near Kecksburg, Pennsylvania.What follows is the untold truthbehind this mysterious event...
More or less.”
EXT. MOSCOW - NIGHT
The Kremlin. Red Square. Cold and snow. A young Russian
woman in a fur coat walks down a sidewalk.
SUPERIMPOSE: “Moscow, 1965”
A FEMALE VOICE with a Russian accent tells us:
MIR (V.O.)This is the story of how a simpleRussian girl comes to America andfinds her happily-ever-after.
The girl walks past an alley. A shivering, scrappy stray doglooks for food. We follow the girl but...
MIR (V.O.)Nyet. Not her. Me.
The camera WHIP PANS from the girl back to the dog. This isMIR. Our narrator and canine heroine. Mir tips over a trashcan and scavenges the food.
MIR (V.O.)Da. I know. A bit dirty. Butsurviving a Russian winter is noteasy when you’re a stray.
As Mir eats, YURI YURCHENKO (31), a gangly, earnest Sovietscientist, creeps toward her, wielding a dog-catching net.
ANTON LASKA (36), a K.G.B. agent, slight, sardonic and short,supervises, jotting down observations in a little notebook.
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ANTONYuri Yurchenko, astro-zoologistextraordinaire, braves a brutal winter night to capture the WildDog of Moscow.
YURIAgent Laska, would you mindK.G.B.’ing somewhere else?
ANTONThe K.G.B. is never somewhere else.We are everywhere. Omnipresent.
YURIFine. Then watch as I mesmerizethe prey.
(sings his best Elvis)“Love me tender, love me sweet,
Never let me go / You have made mylife complete / And I love you...”
WHAM! The capture net comes down.
YURI (CONT’D)(his singing goes flat)
“So...”
The net misses its prey! With a BARK, Mir dashes away.
ANTON(writes in notebook)
Note -- Comrade Yurchenko continueshis obsession with idiotic YankeeElvis foolishness.
YURINote -- Agent Laska continues to bea killjoy.
Mir scrambles up a board to the top of a brick wall. Shelooks back: “Suckers.” Yuri pursues and tries to scoop thedog off the ledge with the net. Mir bobs and weaves.
ANTON
You always find the special ones.
MIR (V.O.)Special. That’s me. Runt of thelitter. Abandoned on the streets.But I certainly am...
ANTONNimble!
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CAYLOR PIERCE (11), at a full-length mirror, puts on a cowboyhat.
CAYLORStranger. You new in these parts?
Playing both good guy and bad guy in his lonely Western:CAYLOR (CONT’D)
(as good guy)Got an issue with that?
(as bad guy)Who in tarnation do you think youare?
(back to good guy)Me? I’m a problem solver.
(as bad guy)Well then, solve this!
Caylor as the bad guy draws on himself. He double shoots...the bad guy and good guy hit each other.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Bang! Bang-Bang!
He frowns. Caylor gets no pleasure from this. Glancing overat A FAMILY PICTURE in an “old west” cardboard frame, Caylor wears the same hat he is wearing now. In full western gear,Caylor and his mom and dad, pose in front of a stage coach.
Glum, Caylor looks from the picture back to the mirror. Thenhe hears...
MACY (O.S.)Caylor, come help with dinner!
INT. MACY’S HOUSE - DOWNSTAIRS KITCHEN - NIGHT
Caylor joins his aunt, MACY PIERCE (31), who preparesThanksgiving dinner with suspiciously brand-spanking-newutensils, while anxiously checking “The Joy Of Cooking.” HerSiamese cat, SHEBA, underfoot.
MACY
There you are. Set the table whileI finish up here.
Caylor stares at a shiny stainless-steel PRESSURE COOKER which sputters and shakes on the stove.
CAYLORThat doesn’t look good.
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MACYDon’t worry. It’s all undercontrol.
CAYLORCome on, Aunt Macy, you’ve never
cooked a Thanksgiving dinner inyour life.
MACYI have a doctorate in AnimalMedicine. How hard could it be?
Macy attempts to peel open a “Pop n‘ Fresh Doughboy” package.She fails. Caylor takes the package and SLAMS it against thecounter. It pops open. He hands it back to her.
CAYLORYou don’t have to do this.
MACYSure I do. Being as it’s our firstThanksgiving together without your--
(interrupts herself)Together, as a family. I want to make it fun. It’s going to be fun,right?
Macy pulls off a dough piece and makes a Thanksgiving shape.
CAYLORWhat’s that?
MACYA cornucopia. A symbol of plenty.
CAYLORIt looks like a run-over squirrel.
The pressure cooker’s rattling gets worse.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Uh, Aunt Macy I think--
MACY
I read the instructions threetimes. Hoagie and Cheesesteaks,it’s fine.
CAYLORYeah, but--
MACY(”You worry too much”)
It’s just like an autoclave.
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Suddenly, A HIGH WHISTLING SOUND! Very urgent!
CAYLORDuck!
THE PRESSURE COOKER TOP BLOWS! BOOM! Potatoes and turkey
bits explode all over the kitchen. SPLAT! PLUNTNK! SPLUCH!Macy ducks behind a cabinet door. Caylor grabs a frying pan.The pressure cooker cover, now literally a FLYING SAUCER,slices through the air straight toward her head.
In the nick of time, Caylor knocks the lid away with a wickedbackhand.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Hi-YAH!
KLONG! The lid plows across a counter-top. Macy emergesfrom behind the door, looks at Caylor, and surveys her potato-shrapnel-covered kitchen. A cardboard Thanksgiving turkeyrefrigerator decoration falls to the ground.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Okay, that was kind of fun.
EXT. COSMODROME - DAY
Amidst grand trees sits a modern 60’s facility, sleek andefficient, like the agency that it houses.
SUPERIMPOSE: “THE COSMODROME, USSR -- Headquarters of the
Russian Space Agency.”
MIR (V.O.)When Yuri first rescued me off thestreets, I had visions of long walks, games of fetch, and bringinghim his morning copy of Pravda.
In a park-like area of the facility, Yuri fastens a leathercollar with an ENGRAVED NAME PLATE onto the stray dog.
YURIMir. Pretty name, no? It means,‘Peace.’
MIR (V.O.)And it certainly looked like we were off to a good start. Whatgirl doesn’t love jewelry?
Mir yips with approval. Anton walks up to the pair with hisbuff pit bull, NEVSKY. More scientists file in with dogs.
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ANTONFifty rubles your runt can’t beatNevsky.
Everyone takes their position. At the starting gate for aCOMPLICATED OBSTACLE COURSE, Yuri evaluates Nevsky and the
competition.
YURIYou’re on.
(holding Mir)Okay, girl, you know what to do.
BARK! The start gun goes off. Yuri releases Mir who chargesinto the Test Course along with Nevsky and five other dogs.
YURI (CONT’D)Go, Mir! Go!
Nevsky takes the early lead, dashing through a tunnel,scrambling across a catwalk, blasting over a teeter board.Mir follows close behind.
ANTON(turns to Yuri)
Your dog is ridiculous, like thatVoshkod 3 Life Support System.Premiere Brezhnev’s orders were tostay ahead of the Americans in ourrace to the moon.
YURI
Moon-schmoon. Colonizing space isthe key to victory over thoseYankee dogs. Mir will prove it.
The course narrows and dead-ends at a closed door. Mir spiesa hanging cord and pulls it. Nothing. Nevsky tries to forcethe hatch. No luck. Mir pushes a lever.
The hatch releases. Nevsky shoves Mir aside and bulls his way through first. Mir YIPS defiantly and follows.
ANTONYou see? No chance.
YURI(irritated, competitive)
Double or nothing?
ANTONA hundred it is.
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Nevsky negotiates a series of jumps, and weaves his waythrough a sequence of poles.
Mir, more nimble, zips through the poles. She catches up toNevsky who growls. They race side by side to...
A FISHING NET SUSPENDED OVER A POOL OF WATERPaws step carefully on the knotted foothold areas. Nevskyconcentrates, trips. Mir dances nimbly across the net andzooms ahead of Nevsky. BARK! Yuri breaks into a big smile.
MIR (V.O.)Obviously, my picking up the morning Pravda wasn’t really Yuri’sthing. But wining a contest,however? That put a smile on hisface.
Nevsky, trying to catch up, loses his balance, falls off thenet and SPLASHES into the pool below.
Mir crosses the finish line, well ahead of the other dogs.Red and blue flashing lights signal Mir’s win.
YURIThat’ll be one hundred rubles!
Anton throws a one-hundred-dollar ruble on the ground. Mirjumps into Yuri’s arms. Anton pats Mir, maybe just a littletoo hard.
ANTONCongratulations! You just won thedoggie death lottery.
Yuri looks down at Mir, feeling guilty. But she licks hisface happily.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. COSMODROME - G-FORCE ROOM - DAY
CLOSE ON: Mir who wears goggles and a crash helmet...
MIR (V.O.)So... pink bows, doggie booties andtrotting next to a babushka’scarriage were not to be my lot inlife. Though...
WIDEN TO REVEAL: Mir whirls through space in a G-Force machine.
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MIR (V.O.)Honestly? Somebody should have warned me about that spin cycle.
The stress of the G-forces shows in Mir’s BUNCHED FUR andWRINKLED FACE.
RING! RING! RING! A timer signals her success...
INT. U.S.A.F. - PROJECT BLUE BOOK LABORATORY - DAY
CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! A warning bell sounds. Air ForceOfficer, GENERAL TWIST, commanding, impatient, and well-decorated, watches as...
TECHNICAL SERGEANT HIBBLE, also Air Force, grasps a lever.Right about now, Hibble wishes he had a desk job at H.Q.
SERGEANT HIBBLE
Testing mock-up!
Hibble pulls the lever releasing a miniature FLYING SAUCER which flies straight toward the General’s head. The Generalducks. CRASH! The mock-up smashes against the wall.
SERGEANT HIBBLE (CONT’D)Uh. Oops. Sir.
GENERAL TWISTMajor Quimera! Get your butt inhere, now!
MAJOR JUSTIN QUIMERA, late 30’s, calculating, over-reaching,and egotistical, slides into the room.
MAJOR QUIMERA Sorry, General. Dealing with asituation in Utah. Lights in thedesert--
GENERAL TWISTLights in the sky, lights in thedesert. It’s always lights withyou, Quimera.
MAJOR QUIMERA Assessing the threat posed by UFOsis of vital interest to--
GENERAL TWISTCan it, Major. Congress doesn’tcare about your UFOs. It’s allVietnam this and Vietnam that.We’re shutting you down.
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RI-IING! Hibble deploys an anti-flying saucer missile whichhits a new miniature target. The General smiles, regardless,he has his orders.
GENERAL TWIST (CONT’D)Americans aren’t afraid of little
green men anymore.
MAJOR QUIMERA But they should be. Our real waris the war on complacency. To mobilize people, you need fear.
(pleads)Six months. Give me six months toshow the value of Project BlueBook.
SERGEANT HIBBLE(interrupting)
Fire in the hole!
Hibble triggers a SHAPE CHARGE strapped to a life-sized AlienDummy. BOOM! The Alien Dummy explodes, splattering meatypig guts all over Major Quimera and General Twist.
GENERAL TWIST(picks at his lapel)
What in the hell?(to Quimera)
You’ve got two weeks.
With that, the General exits slamming the door behind him.
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - FALLOUT SHELTER - DAY
The school bell: RIIIIING -- RING-RING -- RIIIIING -- RING!
Caylor and his classmates gather in front of their teacher,VERNON BARNHARDT (42), paunchy, a bit of a fuddy-duddy, whostudies a FLIP CHART showing how to open the shelter door.
BARNHARDTLift, pull, and turn the handle tothe right. Once inside the
shelter, we’ll be protected from whatever the Russians throw at us.
Most of the kids are bored. Some are annoyed. LEWISWYZNECKI(11), hurls a rock at a squirrel. THWACK! The rocklands at the squirrel’s feet. The squirrel runs off.
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LEWISWe should nuke those Russkies justlike we did the Japs. Problem solved.
JENNIFER SWEENEY (11) looks at Lewis in disapproval.
JENNIFERBombing people is stupid. Everyonejust dies.
LEWISThat’s the point, dummy. What areyou? Afraid of dying?
(pointedly)Like your mother?
Caylor interposes himself between Lewis and Jennifer.
CAYLORLeave her alone.
Barnhardt doesn’t notice this drama, he’s too busy struggling with the door.
BARNHARDTDarn this thing. Lift, pull, andturn the handle to the right.
LEWIS(turns on Caylor)
Back off, beach boy. Who do you
think you are?
Reflexively, Caylor slips into his western fantasy...
CAYLORMe? I’m a problem solver.
LEWIS(pushes Caylor)
Go back to California where youbelong, you commie-pinko-sissy.
BARNHARDT
(hears scuffle)Boys. Rein it in.
LEWISOh, that’s right. You can’t gohome. Cause mommy and daddy wentdown in flames in an airplanecrash!
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(MORE)
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(imitates airplane crash)Twhooo... pbbbooom!
That does it!
CAYLOR
You shut up about my family!
Caylor charges Lewis. The boys trade blows. Barnhardtbreaks them up.
BARNHARDTThe entire point of this drill isto keep us safe from the Russkies.
(pushes boys apart)Now everyone, inside. Because in areal attack, this shelter is theonly thing that will keep us safe.
Barnhardt yanks the shelter door open... and with a loudCREAKING NOISE... CLANG! The rusted iron door falls off itsfrozen hinges.
INT. COSMODROME - LAUNCH FACILITY — HANGAR - DAY
CLANG! Soviet ground crews yank open the hatch of a SPACECAPSULE resting on a platform next to its launch rocket. A picture of Leonid Brezhnev decorates the scaffolding.
SUPERIMPOSE: “COSMODROME, USSR -- Launch Facility”
Mir sits on a table as Yuri fastens on her space harness.Mir’s got a tug toy in her mouth. Yuri shows her a St.Christopher’s medal.
YURISaint Christopher. Patron oftravellers. When I was a littleboy, my grandmother gave this to mefor good luck.
Yuri secretly tucks the St. Christopher medal into a hiddenslot in Mir’s leather collar.
YURI (CONT’D)Don’t tell anyone. Ukrainiansaren’t supposed to be Catholicanymore.
Mir shakes the toy, inviting Yuri to play. He pulls on it, aquick game of tug-of-war. The tender moment is interruptedby Anton who snaps a Polaroid picture... FLASH!
12.
LEWIS (CONT'D)
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ANTONSmile!
FLASH! FLASH! Caught by surprise, Mir and Yuri smile, mid-tug. Anton pulls out the Polaroid film and peels off the toplayer. After waving and blowing on the developing film, he
hands it to Yuri:
ANTON (CONT’D)A gift.
YURI(accepts picture)
What? No chicken scratches todayin your little notebook?
ANTONSeems you impressed the Kremlin with your stupid ideas of life
support systems and mannedsatellites.
YURIShe goes twenty-two days in orbitand it’s the ‘Order of Lenin’ andan apartment in Moscow, right Mir?
Anton picks Mir up in her space harness, examining her like aside of ham.
ANTONProvided your ‘new record’ doesn’t
burn up on re-entry.(then smiling evilly)Which would mean the grave for herand Siberia for you.
Mir growls and pees on Anton’s chest. Anton drops Mir backonto the table, wiping his shirt angrily.
ANTON (CONT’D)This is my best suit!
(as he storms off)I hope you like snow, DoctorDoggie!
YURIBah. Don’t listen to that K.G.B.blowhard, Mir. You and I will makehistory together.
Yuri throws Mir a biscuit, which she gobbles up.
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MIR (V.O.)Da. History. Whatever that was.I was all about the doggie treats.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. COSMODROME - LAUNCH PAD - DAY
ROCKET THRUSTERS fire. PLUMES of smoke.
WIDEN: Mir’s space capsule sits atop a rocket. The bracingsfall away and...
And we have lift-off!
EXT. SPACE CAPSULE - DAY
As the launch rocket and capsule push into the atmosphere,
Mir peers out of a porthole window trying to stay calm.
MIR (V.O.)The rocket-powered-roller-coasterride scared me a little, but at thetime, all I could think of was...
The second stage engines fire and...
INT. SPACE CAPSULE - CONTINUOUS
Everything, including Mir, jiggles violently as the capsule
breaks through the atmosphere into the dark of space.
MIR (V.O.)Yuri? Yuri! Where’s my biscuit?
EXT. EARTH ORBIT
Mir, in her capsule, arcs through space. Night turns to day.Thrusters fire, adjusting her course.
MIR (V.O.)Yuri was right to put his faith in me. I was trained to handle space.
Plus, I am Russian. Very brave.
EXT. SPACE CAPSULE - DAY
Suddenly, something is not well. On one panel, A CHUNK OFICE has built up. Mir looks out her small window and the...
Ice breaks free and slams into a maneuvering thruster. Thethruster comes undone from its mounting. BANG. WHAM!
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MIR (V.O.)...Or not.
Thrusters go kablooey. There’s an external fire. Inside thecapsule, red and yellow WARNING LIGHTS FLASH as Mir YELPS,then HOWLS...
Mir and her space capsule veers back towards Earth.
INT. COSMODROME - CONTROL ROOM - DAY
Red and yellow WARNING LIGHTS FLASH on Yuri’s control panel.Scientists panic.
SUPERIMPOSE: “Twenty-three Days Later”
On the TV FEED, Yuri and Anton see a HOWLING MIR.
YURI
(grim, works a slide rule)She’s off course. Returning toEarth.
ANTONDead dog, no record, discontinuedorbital program. Shame for theKremlin. So sad.
Upset, Yuri with his hand, covers the monitor and the blurryimage of Mir.
YURIAccording to my calculations,she’ll land in forty-eight hours.In...
(big pause)America.
Anton looks at Yuri as the reflection of warning lightscontinue to flash against their worried faces...
ANTONThat’s not going to put you in anapartment in Moscow, Comrade.
EXT. CARGO PLANE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT
Red and Yellow WING-LIGHTS FLASH, cutting through clouds in a moon-lit sky. A Hammer and Sickle decorate the fuselage...
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INT. CARGO PLANE - NIGHT
Yuri looks wistfully out the window at the wing-lights asAnton studies an American phrase book, frustrated.
ANTON
Without living proof, the Kremlincannot claim a breakthrough inouter space life support systems.How can you, a simple Astro-Zoologist happen to be the only doghandler in R.K.A. who knows how tospeak fluent English?
(spits on floor)Dirty, enemy language!
Anton throws the book at Yuri. Yuri dodges it.
YURIWith great melodies.
(shows off fluency)“It’s now or never / Come hold metight / Kiss me my darling / Be mine tonight...”
Anton bangs his head against the bulkhead. Yuri, with ahidden smile, looks through the window, skyward:
YURI (CONT’D)Don’t worry, Mir. I’ll find you.
The blinking wing-lights reflect against Yuri’s face.
INT. AIRPLANE CABIN - DAY (DREAM)
Red and Yellow WARNING LIGHTS FLASH next to an American flag decal on a pilot’s instrument panel. Flight attendants and frightened passengers line up next to an emergency exit door.
Caylor’s parents: SHERIDAN PIERCE (36) wearing a tuxedo alaJames Bond, and FLO PIERCE (34) wearing a sexy pantsuit areequipped with parachutes, they clink martini glasses.
FLO PIERCE Darling. I’m so glad you broughtenough parachutes for everyone.
SHERIDAN PIERCE A good cinematographer is always prepared.
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CAYLOR(coming up through crowd)
Mom. Dad. Vamoose! Get off the plane! Now!
Sheridan pulls out his light meter. He addresses the
frightened passengers, as he checks the cabin lighting.
SHERIDAN PIERCE Everyone remain calm. The light is perfect!
A LIGHTNING FLASH.
SHERIDAN PIERCE (CONT’D)Right on cue!
CAYLOR(checks parachutes)
You got the lightning. Jump!
FLO PIERCE (whips out lipstick)
Emergency lipstick is deployed.
Flo writes on the emergency door, “This way out.” A frightened Flight Attendant moves up next to the door.
FLO PIERCE (CONT’D)Let me touch that up, honey. Whenyou look good, you’ll always besafe.
Flo dabs the lipstick across the Flight Attendant’s lips.The rest of the passengers crowd around the emergency exit.
CAYLORMom. Dad. Just go!
SHERIDAN PIERCE Hey buckaroo, we’ll get you afringe jacket to match that fancy hat of yours...
FLO PIERCE We’re coming home, sweetheart.Just like we promised.
Sheridan and Flo yank the door open and jump into a BRIGHT WHITE LIGHT, which floods the interior cabin.
MATCH CUT TO:
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INT. BARN - HAYLOFT - NIGHT
The ORANGE LIGHT of an explosion in the sky reflects onCaylor’s sleeping face.
SUPERIMPOSE: “December 9th, 1965”
Surrounded by a cardboard fort, Caylor startles awake.
CAYLORMom? Dad?
Through the gambrel loft door, Caylor sees a FLAMING OBJECTarc across the sky.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Aces and Indians! A shooting star!
PHWOOM! The flaming object crashes into the nearby woods.
MIR (V.O.)For some, this was Pennsylvania’sRoswell. But for me? It was myblazing entrance into America.
Caylor hurries down, grabs a flashlight and jacket from atopa stack of boxes, and rushes out of the barn as he dons hiscowboy hat.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
Caylor makes his way through the forest. It’s dark andspooky. A strange orange glow illuminates the trees ahead.
Caylor finds a cattle path leading towards the glow. He runsdown the track... SPLAT! It’s a cow pie.
CAYLORBeans and Jesus!
Caylor continues down the path hopping and scraping off thecow manure.
AT THE END OF THE CATTLE PATH--
Caylor slows down. Nervous. Up ahead, there’s a fire.Caylor hesitates coughing from the smoke. Then...
WHAM! A HUGE SHEET OF BURNING METAL...
...falls from the branches into Caylor’s path! This ignitesa trail of gas that flares into...
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A WALL OF FIRE--
Caylor quickly dodges the chaos and follows the wall of fire.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)A crash. People could be hurt.
Determined, Caylor hurries towards the crash site.
EXT. GABE’S HOUSE - NIGHT
A dairy farmer, GABE WESTERVELDT (55), emerges from his frontdoor, eyeing the FIERY GLOW in the distance. Gabe carries ashotgun. Vernon Barnhardt, Caylor’s teacher and also Gabe’sneighbor, waits for Gabe outside.
GABEOkay. Sheriff’s on his way.
BARNHARDTYou sure we shouldn’t wait for him?
GABE(cocks rifle)
Hell, no. That don’t look like noplane crash to me.
BARNHARDTYou’re thinking... Martians?
GABE
Or worse. Russkies. Either way,I’m aiming to find out.
EXT. GULLY - NIGHT
Caylor, following the gully, picks his way through the brush,then climbs up into the...
EXT. CRASH SITE - NIGHT
Caylor’s eyes widen as he sees...
MIR’S CAPSULE SITTING ON A BURM ABOVE HIM
Six feet high and six feet wide, the capsule looks like agiant glowing GOLDEN METAL ACORN hot from re-entry, matchingeyewitness accounts from the actual Kecksburg incident.
CAYLORHoly Flaming Mergatroid!
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ALIEN SHADOWS, reflected on trees, expand and contract by thelight of the fire. At the snap of a tree branch, Caylor whirls around, stiffens, and raises his arms.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Giant Acorn Men, I come in peace!
Whew! Nothing comes at him. He cautiously approaches theglowing pod. A BLOOD-CURDLING HOWL emits from the capsule.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Uh...
Suddenly, with a loud CRACK, the SPACE CAPSULE dislodges from its tentative mooring and rolls right at Caylor.
SCREECH! CRUNCH! BANG! WHIRR-A. WHIRR-A, WHIRR-A.
Caylor dodges the burning capsule careening past him, as it
plunges into the gully below.
POOF! A big cloud of dust and debris. Suddenly...
AN EERIE BEAM OF BLUE LIGHT--
The capsule’s locator beacon shoots into the night sky.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
Gabe and Barnhardt negotiate the same cattle path and burninglandscape Caylor went through... then stop dead in theirtracks as they see...
BARNHARDTMother McGillicudy!
The blue beam of light cuts through the night sky.
EXT. CRASH SITE - NIGHT
Hearing clawing sounds and desperate WHINING from inside,Caylor scrambles down to the capsule door.
CAYLOR
Hello? Are you okay in there?
Caylor sees a HATCH RELEASE, mangled and obviously stuck.Using his jacket, Caylor smothers the fire around the hatchrelease.
More painful WHINING. With a big heave-ho, Caylor yanks openthe mangled door:
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CAYLOR (CONT’D)Space Aliens, I mean you no harm.
INSIDE THE CAPSULE--
Caylor sees matted fur. Mutilated instruments. Sparking
electrical connections. And then...Mir struggles to lift her head--
CAYLOR (CONT’D)You’re not a Martian!
A LONG PAINFUL HOWL... and Mir scrabbles furiously with herpaws trying to get out. Sparks fly inside the compartment.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Stop. Stop! You’ll hurt yourself.
MIRBark! Bark! YELP!
CAYLORI got you!
Caylor rips Mir free of the burning capsule, pulling her andher Life Support gear away from its mountings... which makesthe sparks inside the capsule go really crazy.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Uh-oh.
Caylor runs! The sparks arc, flare and...
THE CAPSULE EXPLODES!
Caylor and Mir are blown back by the force of the blast. Thecapsule is engulfed in flames. Mir passes out.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)No way! You can’t kick the bucketon me now!
Desperate, Caylor untangles Mir from the Life Support gear.She’s limp. No breath. He gives Mir mouth-to-mouth
rescusitation. No response. He breathes into her again.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Please! God...
Tears. Frustration. And then... MIR OPENS HER EYES. She’sgrateful. Loving. Though weak, she painfully wags her tail.
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CAYLOR (CONT’D)You’re alive!
Caylor checks Mir’s disfigured name collar. Caylor doesn’trecognize the Cyrillic and tries to make out what it says--
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Mrnp? Moonpup?(realizing)
A doggie Sputnik.
Mir stirs and whines.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)I’ll call you Spotnik!
Mir licks Caylor’s face. “Spotnik” works for her.
EXT. CATTLE PASTURE - NIGHT
A crowd has gathered, drawn by the crash and the eerie bluelight in the distance.
Fire Chief BRAD KENTER (40) is joined by County Sheriff JIMSWEENEY(38). Firemen herd spooked dairy cattle out of thepasture onto a livestock truck.
SHERIFF JIMLooks like that blue light’s comingfrom behind Gabe’s farm.
Brad whistles the theme from “The Twilight Zone.”
SHERIFF JIM (CONT’D)Lasers. That’s a fire, isn’t it?
FIREMAN BRADMartians. That’s your department.
Bystanders linger nervously on the roadside. Macy stops herChevy Corvair Van in front of the cattle pasture. She runsup to Sheriff Jim:
MACYJim? You seen my nephew, Caylor?
SHERIFF JIMEvery lookie-loo in WestmorelandCounty’s out here. If he hasn’t upshowed yet, he will soon.
Just then...
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A LINE OF MILITARY TRUCKS--
--including a flatbed, roar up to the scene, screeching tohalt right in front of Fireman Brad, Sheriff Jim, and Macy.
MACY
Where the heck did they come from?
Major Quimera emerges from the lead truck wearing sunglassesdespite the fact it’s night.
MAJOR QUIMERA Who’s in charge here?
SHERIFF JIMI guess I am.
MAJOR QUIMERA Quimera. Project Blue Book. You
report to me now.
MACYAccording to who?
MAJOR QUIMERA According to whom.
The trucks unload a swarm of airmen, including SergeantHibble and his pugnacious subordinate, AIRMAN DUGGERY.
SERGEANT HIBBLEAll right, boys. Got us a
classified. Not a satellite or aplane. Intel indicates this isunidentified.
AIRMAN DUGGERYA UFO? Gonna shoot us some littlegreen men.
Hibble tries to keep things a bit more... real.
SERGEANT HIBBLEI’m thinking Russians.
AIRMAN DUGGERY(aside to Hibble)
Reds. Greens. So long as we getto shoot something.
Duggery cocks his rifle for emphasis. Quimera strides downinto the pasture.
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MAJOR QUIMERA (calls out)
Hibble, deploy the men.
MACYMajor? Best look out for the...
SQUISH. Quimera steps in a cow pie and looks down at hisformerly perfectly polished boots.
Macy, Jim and Brad share a smile. City folk.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
BOOM! KA-POW! Gabe and Barnhardt hear Mir’s Space Capsuleexploding in the distance. Gabe whirls and...
BANG! Gabe fires on something in the burning woods.
BARNHARDTFlibberdy jibbit, Gabe! What doyou think you’re doing?
GABEShush! Something’s in there.
Between the fire, the smoke, the blue beacon and the strangeshadows, it’s no wonder Gabe’s trigger happy. BANG-BANG!
BARNHARDTAnd gunshots aren’t a dead
giveaway?
GABEThere!
BANG! Gabe fires again.
BARNHARDT(frustrated, mocks Gabe)
Be vewy, vewy quiet. Gabe’shuntin’ deadly Wussian Wabbits.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHTCaylor ducks as he hears the gunfire. Mir is now securedinto the remains of her life support unit, which is strappedonto Caylor like a back-pack.
CAYLORJiminy Cricket in a Thicket, whatthe heck’re they shooting at?
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Caylor runs, following a cattle path to get out.
MIR (V.O.)I didn’t know who Jiminy Cricket was, but who they were shooting at?That I knew. Me.
Caylor ducks as...
EXT. WOODS - MOMENTS LATER
BANG! BANG! Gabe shoots wildly into the brush ahead of him.
BARNHARDTDammit, Gabe. What if you hit anuke? Or... or... Cubaninfiltrators.
GABE
That’s exactly what I’m aiming todo!
Gabe moves forward firing wildly. BANG! BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG! P-TING! CRACK! Gabe’s hit something.
No explosion. Barnhardt wipes his brow, relieved. It’s nota nuke. Is it Caylor? Gabe and Barnhardt plow into aclearing and discover...
THE CAPSULE’S SMOLDERING REMAINS
With its blue beacon piercing the night, Gabe and Barnhardttake in the bizarre sight.
BARNHARDTThat doesn’t look Russian or Cuban.
GABEYou don’t think... Martians?
Off the blue light reflecting in their faces...
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - LATER
A blue porch-light shines overhead as Caylor opens a sidedoor and carries Mir into a back room surgical area.
MIR (V.O.)It’s funny how life works. Oneday, an orphan dog on the streetsof Moscow. Next, a caninecosmonaut shot through space...
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Caylor unstraps Mir from his impromptu backpack:
MIR (V.O.)All to end up where every dog wantsto be. Crash-landing into the armsof a loving boy...
Caylor carries Mir to a wash basin and turns on the hot water.
MIR (V.O.)...But a bath? Yuck.
Mir turns the water off.
CAYLORHey. Where’d you learn that trick?
Mir looks proud of herself. Pants.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)No ninnying around, I need to cleanyou up.
Caylor moves to turn the water back on, but Mir beats him toit. She looks at Caylor for approval.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Smart girl.
Caylor pets her then begins to clean Mir up. As he pulls offMir’s mangled name collar, it breaks and accidentally falls
into the basin. The ST. CHRISTOPHER MEDAL spills out of itssecret hiding place.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Hey! What’s this?
(picks up medal)Adam’s apple. A good luck charm.Someone was worried about you.
Caylor pockets the St. Christopher medal and mangled collar.Mir nuzzles him, then YIPS.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)
(checking Mir)No broken bones. Just some cutsand bruises. You’re one lucky dog.Guess your good luck charm did itsjob.
Mir in agreement: BARK!
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INT. CARGO PLANE - NIGHT
Yuri, in a parachute, stands as Anton shoves the Polaroidcamera into Yuri’s satchel and throws Yuri’s American phrasebook at him. Yuri scrambles to pick it up.
ANTONI would say don’t do anythingstupid, but we all know that wouldbe wishful thinking.
YURIYou K.G.B. Jinx everything withyour bad attitudes. There is areason the Kremlin’s entrusted meto get Mir back.
ANTONDa! Because you, we can afford tolose. You are an idiot. And ifyou are captured, Americans willlearn nothing.
Anton gets a signal from the pilot.
ANTON (CONT’D)We’re at the mark.
Anton yanks open an exit door. A WHOOSH of wind blows Yuriback into Anton. Against the wind, Anton yells:
ANTON (CONT’D)You know the mission. Recover theproof. Get to a Russian Embassy.And one of us will take you home.Of course, we both know you’redoomed to fail.
YURIThat’s what I love about you Anton,you’re always wrong. I will getyou the circuit board...
Yuri turns and jumps out of the open door, adding...
YURI (CONT’D)(falling)
And the doooo-oooog!!
EXT. CARGO PLANE - NIGHT SKY - CONTINUOUS
Yuri’s parachute deploys -- a red canopy with a gold starbillows out into the moonlight. From under the canopy:
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YURIExpendable. Bah!
Yuri sees the BLUE BEAM of light in the distance and guideshis chute that way.
EXT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Caylor crosses the yard, carrying the Life Support wreckage,a cleaned up Mir, and a can of dog food to the barn.
INT. BARN - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Amid the packed up remains of his old life, Caylor sets Mirdown...
CAYLORThere. Better?
MIR (V.O.)Like the most skilled perfume- maker, I can smell a bit of food ahundred yards away, a cat that hadcrossed an alley a week ago, and...
Curious, Mir sniffs and finds a particularly interesting box.BARK! Mir puts her paw on top of a half-opened box labelled:“Pierce Family Mementos.”
MIR (V.O.)The smells of a broken heart.
Mir grabs the picture. In the picture are Caylor, hisparents, and an old dog. Mir WHINES.
CAYLORWhat? That? That’s just my...forget about it, okay? Me and you.That’s what matters now.
Caylor takes the picture and puts it back on the box. Heopens another box labelled “Flo’s Make-Up and Costumes” andpulls out a lipstick, then heads to...
EXT. BARN DOOR - CONTINUOUS
Caylor writes with the lipstick:
“PRIVATE PROPERTY, NO ENTRY. KEEP OUT!”
Caylor returns to...
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CAYLORNo such thing. Didn’t mean to worry you. You work so hard totake care of me. You’re the bestAunt a kid could ever have. Inever say thank you--
MACY(suddenly suspicious)
Why’re you being so nice?
Something shifts in the loft.
MACY (CONT’D)(eyeing the loft)
What’s going on up there?
CAYLORShifting. Boxes. I was shifting
boxes.
MACY(hopeful)
Getting Christmas ornaments?
CAYLORI was just fetchin’...
Caylor spies the picture of him, Sheridan, Flo and the olddog. He grabs it.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)
This. Good ‘ole Baxter. He diedthree years ago, today.
A BIG BEAT... Macy is aware of the loss surrounding Caylor.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Can I have some private time,please?
MACYOkay. Ten minutes, then...
(takes gun, sets it down)Get to bed when you’re done.
Macy leaves. Caylor shuts the doors behind her. Alone,Caylor climbs up into...
INT. BARN LOFT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
Caylor shines his flashlight which lands on Mir. Mir, inplain sight, drops her name collar at Caylor’s feet. BARK!Wagging her tail:
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CAYLORYou’re supposed to be hiding.
MIR (V.O.)At the time, I thought, why shouldI be hiding when we could be
playing?CAYLOR
Come on. Time to get some shut-eye.
Caylor picks up the collar. Mir grabs the other end andholds on tight. It’s Tug-of-War.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Spotnik! Let go!
Mir tugs and pulls Caylor off balance. They both fall into
the hay bale. Caylor comes up the winner holding the collar.
Mir emerges blowing hay off her nose. Caylor laughs. YIP!
CAYLOR (CONT’D)I won. So you gotta hit the haynow, okay?
Caylor puts Mir’s collar in his sweatshirt. A big hug, then:
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Stay.
Caylor leaves Mir in the loft. She moves to follow.CAYLOR (CONT’D)
No. Sit.
Mir watches Caylor descend the ladder. Then she quickly goesto the edge of the loft. Mir whines and paws the air. From the bottom of the ladder, Caylor waves at Mir to...
CAYLOR (CONT’D)No. Stay! Just for one night.While I figure out what to do aboutAunt Macy.
Mir lies down, dejected.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Good girl.
Off Mir, sad and alone.
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INT. CRASH SITE TENT - NIGHT
A huge tent has been erected over the space capsule. MajorQuimera and Sheriff Jim examine the capsule remains. Quimeratakes note of the passenger compartment.
SHERIFF JIMThis is amazing! I can’t wait toshow this to the boys.
MAJOR QUIMERA No show. No tell. Not now. Notever. See this gizmo here?
(re: wreckage)An ejection system. But it didn’tgo off. And if someone were doinghis job, we should’ve found a body.
SHERIFF JIM
Right. So, space aliens andastronauts are suddenly myjurisdiction? I don’t even know what we’re looking for.
MAJOR QUIMERA This propellent charge is too smallfor a human.
SHERIFF JIMSo you’re thinking a monkey?
MAJOR QUIMERA Or a dog.
Off Jim as he studies at the propellent charge.
INT. BARN LOFT - NIGHT
Mir paces in front of a hay bale.
MIR (V.O.)I didn’t understand. I’d finallyfound my very own boy. I’d doneeverything I could to make him happy. Even made him laugh. Yetstill... he left me alone.
Sheba pushes her way in through a crack in the double barndoors. Mir hears this and rushes to the edge of the loft.
MIR (V.O.)Having just clocked twenty-two daysin space, at that point...
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even a Siamese cat was better thanno company at all.
Sheba, chasing a bug, clambers up a beam into the loft. Mirruns over to “play.” Annoyed, Sheba moves away. Mir followsSheba down the beam.
MIR (V.O.)But what I really wanted...
EXT. MACY’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Mir chases Sheba through a cat door...
MIR (V.O.)Was to be with the boy.
INT. MACY’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Slipping and sliding across the linoleum floor... THWACK!Mir and Sheba slam into a bucket of kitty litter. CLATTER,CLATTER...
MACYSheba?
MEOW! CRASH! THUNK!
Macy comes in and flicks on the lights. Mir hides just intime. Macy sees Sheba underneath an overturned bucket. MEOW-MEOW! Kitty litter is everywhere. Macy grabs Sheba.
MACY (CONT’D)Man alive, what am I going to do with you?
Mir slips past Macy and goes up the stairs to...
INT. CAYLOR’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mir jumps onto Caylor’s bed and sits on Caylor’s head,smothering him. He startles awake under a butt-full of dog.
CAYLOR
Spotnik! You need to go back.
MACY (O.S.)(yells from kitchen)
Caylor! Get to sleep! It’s goingpast your bedtime.
Mir goes to bark. Caylor catches her muzzle and quiets herjust in time. MURF!
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CAYLOR(yells down)
Sorry, Aunt Macy. I was just...unpacking some stuff...
Caylor tries to hide Mir in a toy chest.
MIR (V.O.)Tight quarters. Cubicles andcompartments. The last timesomeone put me into a small space,I was shot out into space.
Mir refuses to go in. Toys go flying.
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
Sweeping up kitty litter, Macy hears: THUNK. THUNK-A-THUNK.
MACYCheese and crackers!
She puts up the broom. Exits and...
INT. CAYLOR’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Hearing Macy’s FOOTSTEPS on the stairs, Caylor hides Mir in adrawer. As soon as he closes it, the drawer flies open andMir jumps away from the mess. Caylor scoops her up and dumpsMir into a hamper. Mir won’t let him close the hamper top.
CAYLOR(pushing Mir’s head)Jumping Johesphat’s Jackhammer.Just. Go. Down.
With wide eyes, Mir trembles and “panics.” Banging her bodyagainst the sides of the hamper, Mir looks up at Caylorimploringly, then jumps into his arms.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Adam’s apple! You’re closet-closed, cluster-phobe, what’s that word? Claus... Claustrophobic!
Macy knocks on Caylor’s door.
MACY (O.S.)What is going on in there? You’resupposed to be in bed.
Macy opens the door just as--
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Caylor covers Mir with his sweat shirt and some clothes making her look like...
A PILE OF LAUNDRY--
MACY (CONT’D)
Caylor, what the cobb is thatlaundry pile doing on the floor?
The pile moves. Caylor covers.
CAYLORWhat pile?
MACY(shakes head)
You wash those clothes tomorrow,young man. And redd up this mess.
Caylor nods, smiles, and picks up a stray towel. Shebasneaks around and tries to reveal Mir. Caylor tosses thetowel onto the pair.
MACY (CONT’D)That’s not cleaning.
CAYLORJust putting everything all in oneplace, Aunt Macy.
Macy grabs Sheba and misses Mir whose paws stick out of thesweatshirt in plain sight. Too busy with Sheba, Macy doesn’t
notice.
MACYTomorrow. Be up early. We’ve gota load of errands to do.
Macy exits with Sheba, closing the door behind her. Finallyalone, Caylor extracts Mir from the sweatshirt.
CAYLOROkay. You win. No more smallspaces.
Mir licks Caylor’s face in gratitude.
INT. CAYLOR’S BEDROOM - MORNING
Caylor sleeps next to Mir. They both look happy. Suddenly,the doorknob jiggles loudly. Caylor wakes up. Mir runsaround confused in the blankets.
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CAYLOROh no! Hide! You need to hide.
(calls out to Macy)Wait, I’m getting dressed!
Caylor throws on his dirty sweatshirt, with the name collar
and St. Christopher medal still in its pocket.
MACY (O.S.)Locked doors don’t fly in thishouse--
CLICK. CLICK-CLICK.
The door opens just as Mir crawls into Caylor’s bookbag. Mirdoesn’t like it, but she has no choice. Caylor stands in the middle of his room. Macy waves a hairpin.
MACY (CONT’D)
Your father taught me that one.(re: the sweatshirt)
Didn’t you wear that yesterday?
CAYLORSorry. It’s the cleanest I got.
MACYGet a-stepping. I want to go foodshopping and put up a Christmastree. We have to cut one downbefore dark.
Caylor slings on his bookbag. He hides his reaction to Mir’s weight as Macy exits.
CAYLOR(under his breath, to Mir)
I thought you didn’t like smallspaces.
The bookbag wiggles. Mir’s nose pokes out the side as Caylorfollows Macy down.
EXT. KECKSBURG - TOWN SQUARE - DAY
Yuri emerges onto the Town Square unnoticed. He seesQuimera’s airmen wandering the town. But Yuri’s used to military. He snaps pictures of the town.
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YURI(singing to himself)
“Secret agent man/ Secret agent man/ They've given you a number andtaken away your name...”
Like a tourist, Yuri photographs... a bandstand. A city hall with a tall steeple. A grocery store with an attached sodafountain. A movie theater. All the features of 1965 smalltown America.
A little too enthusiastic in his singing, Yuri notices he’sattracting attention and nods to a passerby. He covers...
YURI (CONT’D)(heavy Russian accent)
Another beautiful day in America,right, fellow citizen?
Yuri ducks into a grocery store. Behind him...
MACY PARKS HER VAN ON THE TOWNSQUARE--
Mir stirs in the bookbag as Caylor looks around. Sighs.
CAYLORThis has to be the most podunk townin the world.
MACYYour father thought so, too. Leftas soon as he could. I think it’s
charming. How many places arestill like this?
CAYLORNone. The rest died ofembarrassment.
Macy rolls her eyes as they head toward the Grocery Store.
INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY
Yuri reacts in shock at rows and rows of PERFECTLY STACKEDCANNED AND PACKAGED FOODS--
YURIAmerikosy . I’ve never seen such athing.
Wandering through the aisles, Yuri snaps pictures of thegrocery store with his Polaroid Camera. Just then...
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Macy comes in with Caylor in tow. They don’t see Yuri, andhe doesn’t see them.
MIR (V.O.)One thing you have to understand.Russia was not blessed like
America. There was never enoughfood. Not on the cold streets ofMoscow and certainly not in space.
MACYOkay, we’re here for the dog chow.Don’t get distracted.
CAYLORI won’t Aunt-- waaah!
Caylor is suddenly jerked back away from Macy. From withinthe backpack, Mir’s head has emerged and she’s bit down onto
a juicy salami dangling ever so temptingly nearby on:
A RACK OF SALAMIS--
CAYLOR (CONT’D)No.
(off a look from Macy)I mean, oh. My back. Bag. I’m stuck.
Caylor covers, shifting his book bag, so Macy can’t see Mir.
MIR (V.O.)
At that moment, when all the smellshit me, all I could think of wasfood! Endless rows and rows ofgourmet, human food.
MACY(moves off, in a hurry)
Remember. No distractions.
Caylor yanks at his bookbag. It’s “stuck” on the rack. Mir wriggles like a mad dog, trying to yank free the salami.
CAYLOR
(a harsh whisper)Spotnik!
Caylor struggles against her. It looks as if he is duelling with the Salami rack. Then Caylor loses his grip and...
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Oh no.
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The RACK OF SALAMIS tilts, wobbles... and comes crashingdown.... Salamis everywhere.
The Mir-filled bag lands with a THUD. Mir loses her grip onher prize salami which rolls away.
The falling salami display has toppled... into a PYRAMID ofCANNED PEACHES.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Watch out!
Canned peaches tumble down, right into Macy. Seeing thislooming disaster (but not its cause), a heroic Yuri leapsonto Macy.
YURI(in Russian)
[Look out!]
Caylor dodges the whole fiasco. Yuri manages to cover Macyas the cans crash down on both of them.
Peach cans and salamis roll across the floor.
The bookbag inchworms and scrabbles as Mir propels herselfforward in pursuit of her salami. Caylor gives chase.
CAYLORDarn it, Spotnik! Why can’t you doas you’re told? Come! I said,‘Come!’
YURI AND MACY RISE--
Emerging from beneath the canned peaches. Macy’s dress istorn. Her bra is showing. Stumbling to get up, Yuriaccidentally places his hand on Macy’s chest. He pulls itaway, quickly. Oops!
MACYUm, excuse me?!
YURI(confused, in Russian,
then French)Prastite. Excusez-moi.(then English)
I’m sorry?
BEHIND MACY--
The backpack continues scrabbling after a rolling salami.Caylor lunges for the bookbag, misses. Suddenly...
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MAJOR QUIMERA What does it take to get a CocaCola in this town?
Macy turns toward the sound, then the attendant.
GROCERY STORE ATTENDANTMacy Pierce! Did you do all this?
MACYThis handsome Frenchman, here...
Macy turns back towards Yuri, but he’s nowhere in sight.
MACY (CONT’D)He’s gone. And, uh... sorry aboutthe mess.
Macy flees out the front door past Quimera and into...
EXT. ALLEY - DAY
Caylor and Mir hide behind a dumpster near the back door ofthe grocery store. Mir eats her stolen salami.
CAYLORWhat was that? How am I supposedto fend for you when you won’t stayhidden?
Mir looks at Caylor. Focused. Proud. The last of theprized salami disappearing into her jaws... when suddenly:
MACYCaylor! There you are. What’reyou doing out here? With that dog?
Mir jumps up, slobbering on Macy. Macy’s coat comes open.
MACY (CONT’D)No! Get off. Stop!
Macy’s dress, caught on a claw, is torn in half. RI-IIIIP!
CAYLOR
Spotnik. Off. Down.
Mir complies, lays in front of a flustered Macy who quicklycloses her coat.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)She was just trying to be yourfriend.
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MACYSpotnik? You know this dog?
CAYLORNo. I mean. I just found her.Right now. Here. Yeah. In this
alley. Can I keep her?
MACYKeep her?
CAYLORLook how smart she is. ‘Come.’
Caylor motions for Mir to come to his side, which she does.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)We could use a dog like her. Shecould keep me company and be a real
help around the house.
MACYAs if I haven’t got enough to takecare of, without picking up anotherstray--
Mir barks. Macy realizes. Oops. Too late. Macy’s pushed abutton. Caylor starts to walk away.
CAYLORCome on, Spotnik. Us ‘strays’ know when we’re not wanted.
MACYCaylor, I didn’t mean it like that.
CAYLOR(walks away faster)
You meant it.
MACY(chasing)
Please, I was just--
CAYLOR
(whirls on her)Another mouth to feed. Someoneelse to worry about. I’m just aburden to you, like I was to Mom and Dad. You don’t want me any more than they did.
Mir whines, then runs between Macy and Caylor. Mir looks atCaylor. Hard.
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MACYCaylor...
CAYLOR(shrugging her off)
Just leave me alone.
Mir barks. Looks from Macy to Caylor. Then Caylor to Macy.Mir turns to Caylor. And pushes him into Macy.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)Spotnik. Stop that. What’re youdoing, you stupid dog?
Another push, and Caylor stumbles into Macy who catches him.Realizing what Mir just did...
MACYNo. She’s not stupid at all.
EXT. KECKSBURG - TOWN SQUARE - DAY
Macy puts Mir into the van as Caylor finishes loading theclinic dog food in the back.
MACYFar as we understand each other,you can keep the dog until we findher owner. Deal?
CAYLORThat’s the best decision you’ve
ever made. She’s going to be a bighelp around here, you’ll see.
Mir goes unnoticed as Hibble and an airman walk by. Quimeracomes out of the grocery store with his soda.
MAJOR QUIMERA Ten minutes to get a Coke? Thoseyokels can’t tell their butt from ahole in the ground. Organization.Order. That’s what this placeneeds. And I’m going to give it tothem.
EXT. GROCERY STORE LOADING DOCK - DAY
Yuri sneaks out the back door, eating a stolen salami. Helooks at his Polaroid. Sees a cute Macy. Then he notices afamiliar nose:
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YURIMir?
Macy and Caylor drive past the alley, just as Yuri emerges tosee Macy in her van. On the side of her vehicle:
“WESTMORELAND COUNTY VETERINARY HOSPITAL”YURI (CONT’D)
Veterinary Hospital...
Off a thoughtful Yuri.
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - DAY
Macy pushes, while Mir pulls, the last PALLET of DOG FOODinto the back kennel area.
CAYLOR
See? I told ya. A great help--
Having pulled the dog food as far as she can, Mir falls onher rear and upon landing, lets out... a BIG DOG FART!
MACY(waving at her nose)
Argh! That’s why I like cats.
Then... BUZZ. BUZZ. BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ! BUZZ!
MACY (CONT’D)Someone’s in the front office.
Macy rushes out. Caylor holding his nose, glares at Mir.
CAYLORThat’s what you get for eatingsalami!
Mir looks at her back end and sniffs the air, apologetic.
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - FRONT OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Yuri, at the front desk, hits the call buzzer again. Macy
runs in from the back kennel area.
Away from Yuri’s line-of-sight, Caylor crosses the kenneldoorway, waving a blanket to dispel the smell.
YURIHello. You are Miss Peaches? I mean, Pierce. You are Macy Pierce?
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MACYYou tracked me down? That’sflattering.
YURIYes. I mean, no. I mean... I come
for doctor. Is he in?
MACYYou’re looking at him, buddy. Bestveterinary doctor -- male or female-- in Westmoreland County.
Caylor continues to wave the blanket. The smell hits thefront office. Yuri puts his arm up to his nose.
MACY (CONT’D)Don’t look at me bub, maybe that was you.
YURIPerhaps you need to clean kennel?
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - BACK KENNEL - CONTINUOUS
Mir hears Yuri’s voice. She goes to bark. Caylor mufflesher, and covers her bark with his hand.
MIRMurf!
CAYLORWhat’s got into you? Quiet, girl.
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - FRONT OFFICE - CONTINUOUS
Yuri sizes up Macy as she opens the front door to clear thesmell.
YURISo... a female veterinarian.
MACYGot a problem with that?
YURINo. It is... impressive. We have much admiration for female doctorsin Ru... France! Rural France.
(pulls out Polaroid)I have photo.
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YURIUh, number?
Yuri gets nervous. He doesn’t have a number. Suddenly,Major Quimera and Sheriff Jim walk in on the trio.
SHERIFF JIMHey, Doctor Pierce. Anyone broughtin an injured animal today?
Yuri quickly pockets his pre-launch photo. Macy notices.
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - BACK KENNEL - CONTINUOUS
Mir slips out of Caylor’s grasp and tries to make a dash tothe front room. Caylor tackles Mir. They fall into a pile.
CAYLOR(sotto, to Mir, “stop”)
Come on. He’s just some Frenchguy!
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - FRONT ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Macy looks from Sheriff Jim to Major Quimera.
MACYIt’s been quiet. No squirrelpancakes. No buckshot cows. Nobirds with broken wings.
This seems to mollify Jim but not Major Quimera.MAJOR QUIMERA
You sure about that? What about monkeys? Chimps? Dogs with crushand head injuries?
MACYLike I said. It’s been quiet.
MAJOR QUIMERA And this is your husband?
YURI(shakes Quimera’s hand)Monsieur Jean-Muir. I work for‘Savoir Faire.’ I have been senthere to photograph ‘le U.F.O.’
MAJOR QUIMERA You’ve been talking to a Frenchreporter about your very quiet day?
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MACYI just met him.
MAJOR QUIMERA Better not be holding out on me,girlie.
Yuri sees Macy about to blow her top at the “girlie”reference. Going on the offensive, Yuri snaps off a seriesof Polaroids of Quimera. FLASH! FLASH-FLASH!
YURIFlashing! You want to giveexclusive to intrepid reporter?Tell me why you are botheringsimple but beautiful country animaldoctor? Perhaps inform my Frenchreaders about mysterious crash in woods?
Yuri pulls off the top layers of the Polaroids then raisesthe camera to take another picture. Close up.
MAJOR QUIMERA Get that camera out of my face!
SHERIFF JIMMajor. Let’s just keep a lowprofile, okay? It’s fine, Macy.We can come back later. Give us abuzz if anything comes in.
MACYAny monkey, dog, rat, rabbit, frog,earthworm, or ‘alien’ and you’ll bethe first to know.
Sheriff Jim and Major Quimera leave. Macy turns to Yuri.
MACY (CONT’D)‘Simple but beautiful?’ Let meguess. The dog you’re looking foris the dog they’re looking for?
YURI
You are most intelligent doctor. I must go. Spasib a. I mean, mercí.I am very grateful. Au revoir!
Yuri quickly follows the departed Major and Sheriff. Macygoes to...
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INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - BACK KENNEL - CONTINUOUS
Caylor and Mir are still piled on top of one another. Caylorlooks up at Macy in the doorway.
MACY
Just found her at the food market?
CAYLORHe’s not her owner! She doesn’tbelong to him! I think he’sRussian.
MACYHe said her name was ‘Mir.’
Mir barks at the mention of her name.
CAYLOR
Spotnik! No. Your name isSpotnik.
Mir whines and pulls her name collar out of Caylor’s pocket.
MACYBet your briefs, your dog here might’ve just found her owner.
CAYLORIt’s a broken collar. It doesn’t mean anything.
MACYThen why’d you keep it?
CAYLOR(stalling)
Because--
MACYBecause you want to do the rightthing.
CAYLORDo right, act right. Blah. Blah.
Blah. That’s all you grown-upsever care about.
MACYWhat would you do if you had thepower to give back to someonesomething they loved?
Off Caylor stricken by a guilty conscience.
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CAYLORNever mind that, Comrade. I havethis!
Caylor pulls out Mir’s damaged name collar. Off Yuri as...
INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL - DAY
Macy looks at her grocery store photo and holds the pictureup against Mir. The noses match. Mir yips and nuzzles Macy.
MACYI haven’t seen Caylor this workedup about anything since he came tostay with me.
(off Mir’s whine)Hey, thanks for that alley thingyou did.
Macy opens up a kennel door. MIR’S POV of the enclosure--
It’s small. Mir’s panic about cramped spaces kicks in, plusMir wants to find Yuri. Suddenly, Mir dashes off.
MACY (CONT’D)Man alive, I don’t need anymoretrouble. Spotnik!
Mir sprints out the back door, scents Yuri and follows histrail. Macy pockets her grocery store photo and pursues.
EXT. “COUNTY ROAD” - DAY
Yuri eyes Mir’s damaged name collar in Caylor’s hand.
YURIWhere did you get that? Is she allright? My Mir?
CAYLORLook. You shot her into space.She landed in America. Finderskeepers!
YURIBut she is very important to me.Life saver. Please, understand I--
CAYLORNo, you need to understand! Ifound her! I saved her. She’s mydog now. When my parents werekilled, I--
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YURIWait! Cheater! Mir! Come!Ellee, Mir, ellee!
Mir veers toward Caylor then toward Yuri... then stops,again, in the middle of both of them.
Macy comes on the scene.
MACYCaylor, what are you doing?
CAYLORWe’re in the middle of something!
Caylor and Yuri redouble their efforts. Caylor shakes thename collar, Yuri shakes the tug toy.
CAYLOR (CONT’D)
You don’t want that dumb Russian.Come on, Spotnik. Come!
YURI(in Russian, subtitled)
[Who’s your daddy? I’m yourdaddy.]
Then Yuri and Caylor together:
CAYLORThat’s a good girl, Spotnik.Right over here. Come on...
YURI(in English)
That’s a good girl, Mir.
Right over here. Come on...
Surprised, they look at each other. Mir doesn’t budge.
MACYStop! Can’t you see she doesn’t want to pick? She loves you both.
CAYLORHow can she love him? He’s acommunist, pinko-spy, dog-killer who shot her out into space... andhe’s entirely not French.
YURINot dog-killer! Esteemed Astro-Zoologist! My name is Yurchenko.Doctor Yuri Yurchenko, R.K.A.
CAYLORRossaviakosmos! See? The Russiandog-murdering Space Agency!
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YURIPlease. If I go back to Russia without dog, I will be executed.
CAYLORIf I let you take her, then she’ll
get chopped up or shot out intospace again and killed for good.
MACYIf you two don’t stop arguing, allfour of us will be thrown in jail
Lewis rides by on his bike. Passing the foursome, he yellsout...
LEWISHey chicken-boy, get this... theArmy’s looking for an alien.
Shouldn’t you be running now?
Macy shoots Lewis a dirty look. Yells after him:
MACYLewis Wyznecki! Don’t make me callyour mother!
(turns to Caylor and Yuri)We need to go someplace private.Come on, both of you. I’ve got theperfect errand that’ll take us outof sight. And Doctor Dog-killer,if we run into anyone, tell them
you’re my cousin from France.
YURIOh. Very good. We are, how yousay in America? Kissing cousins?
Macy pushes Yuri and Caylor towards the woods.
INT. MAJOR QUIMERA’S TENT - DAY
A picture of the crash site is paper-clipped to a brief.
AN OPEN FILE--A hand-written note reads:
“Wreckage indicates technology for pressurized cabin. Initialanalysis suggests Russian testanimal may have survived re-entry.”
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Sheriff Jim walks in on Major Quimera reading the file. InJim’s hand are a fistful of papers.
SHERIFF JIMDo you know what’s gonna happen when I hand these papers to Gabe?
To take over his farm for someclassified dog compound?
MAJOR QUIMERA What’s going to happen is, you’regoing to do your job, Sheriff.Crowd control and helping me withthe recovery of governmentproperty.
Off Jim, concerned...
INT. WOODS - DAY
A convoy of military trucks rolls down the main road.
Caylor, Macy, Yuri and Mir duck into an isolated area of pinetrees. Once the trucks pass, Macy points to a tree and handsYuri an axe.
MACYChop it up-under the base. Soit’ll fit in a stand.
YURIYou want me to cut Christmas tree?
MACYWhat else would ‘family’ be doingin the woods this time of year?
Mir barks and runs figure-eights around Yuri and the tree.
CAYLOREight ball in a corner pocket.This guy’s staying with us?
MACYCaylor, he’s just a scientist.Trying to get back his dog. Do youreally want him sent to prison? Orexecuted? Or worse?
Caylor sizes up Yuri. His rival for Mir’s affections. It would be easier if he were gone... and even better if Macydidn’t like him so much. Still...
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CAYLOR...I guess not.
YURISo I stay?
MACYYou heard what he said. Get a-chopping!
INT. MACY’S HOUSE - LIVINGROOM - NIGHT
Sheba sits on a stereo console mesmerized by a spinningrecord. Elvis’s “Santa Bring My Baby Back” plays.
YURI(with a big smile)
I have not done this since I waslittle boy!
With one last whack, a stand is secured to the bottom of thefresh-cut Christmas tree. Caylor, Macy, Yuri and Mir prop-upthe tree. It’s a family scene as they start decorating it.
BEGIN MONTAGE:
--Mir pulls out a string of Christmas lights.
--Caylor helps Mir put low-hanging ornaments onto the base ofthe tree.
--Yuri and Macy laugh, flirt, and get in each other’s way as
they fill the tree with ornaments.
--Caylor and Mir put on the last ornament. It’s a clothMartian.
--The Christmas tree, adorned with lights, turns on. It’sbeautiful. Mir jumps up-and-down delighted.
END MONTAGE.
For Caylor, it’s a bittersweet moment. It’s his firstChristmas without his parents. He watches Yuri turn to Macy,filled with sentiment:
YURI (CONT’D)That is most fun I’ve in had in along time.
(subtitled, “Will youMarry Me?”)
Ti viy-desh za me-nyA?(then, quickly in English)
You don’t speak Russian, do you?
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BARNHARDTQuarantine! What do you mean,quarantine? Where’s Doctor Pierce!
Lewis rides up on his bike and parks in front of Hibble.
LEWISWhy are you taking the dogs?
SERGEANT HIBBLETo keep them safe.
AIRMAN DUGGERY(sneering)
What with rockets, germs, andaliens, oh my.
LEWISAliens? You’re protecting us from
aliens? I want to help.
Airman Duggery pokes at a dog in a locked crate. The doglunges violently baring its teeth. Duggery jumps back.
LEWIS (CONT’D)No! Quiet, Reggie.
The dog whines and lies down. Sergeant Hibble sees this.
SERGEANT HIBBLEOkay, son. Get in the back.
Lewis smiles broadly, locks his bike and climbs into the cab.
INT. MACY’S HOUSE - DAY
Yuri, Caylor, and Macy finish their breakfast of sausage andeggs. Yuri swallows a bite of sausage, then slips the lastpiece under the table to Mir.
YURIThis ‘Farmer’s John’s’ is most wonderful.
Macy gets up and clears the dishes, giving Caylor a private moment with Yuri.
CAYLORYou’ve got a hankering for my Aunt,don’t you?
YURIHankering? What means hankering?
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CAYLORYou know. That thing that makesgrown-ups all googly-boogly.
YURII... your Masorchka, she is very
special. Like Mir. Like you.
CAYLORDon’t think, you can just come inand be my new uncle!
YURII would never presume. Nikogda.
CAYLORBreak your arm? And swear to God?
YURI
May the shattered bones of my arm plague me into the Gulags of hell.
MACYWhat are you two whispering about?
As she returns to Yuri and Caylor, Sheba gets underfoot.
MACY (CONT’D)Sheba! Ahhhh!
Macy trips over Sheba and falls right into Yuri arms. It’s aRhett and Scarlett moment. Will they kiss? Caylor doesn’t
want that to happen.
CAYLORGulags of hell. Gulags of hell!
When suddenly, at the kitchen door... KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!Jennifer, Caylor’s friend from school, bursts in.
JENNIFER(breathless)
Doctor Pierce! Caylor! They’retaking all the dogs, and your yardis full of--
(notices Mir)Hey. I’ve never seen that dogbefore.
Mir looks through the back door. She sees movement.INTRUDERS! BARK! BARK-BARK! Mir rushes out.
JENNIFER (CONT’D)Wait! Don’t let her go!
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Macy, Yuri, and Caylor chase Mir outside. Jennifer follows,and...
EXT. MACY’S YARD - DAY
Major Quimera, Sheriff Jim, Sergeant Hibble and various
Airmen have exited their vehicles, which is when Lewis yells:
LEWISSheriff Jim. That’s the one I toldyou about!
(points)Over there! Get it before it getsaway!
CAYLORSpotnik! Run!
Mir dashes through the maze of military trucks and gear. Theyard looks like...
AN AGILITY COURSE FROM HELL--
Sheriff Jim, Major Quimera, and Sergeant Hibble give chase.
MAJOR QUIMERA Capture that dog!
JENNIFER(to Sheriff Jim)
Dad! What’re you doing?
SHERIFF JIMI... uh...
MAJOR QUIMERA Sheriff! You’re under my orders!
Airmen slip and slide on the frosted ground in hot pursuit.Mir expertly negotiates the “obstacle course” of parkedvehicles, scattered tools and equipment, and humans.
Caylor sees a truck is about to back into Mir.
CAYLORSpotnik! Watch out!
Warned, Mir dodges the truck which accidentally backs intoLewis who hits the truck with A LOUD WHACK to avoid beingcrushed just in time. Lewis yells out to the driver:
LEWISHey! I’m on your side.
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Mir rounds a corner into:
YURIMir!
Yuri trips over Mir and goes down. Mir stops to help him.
YURI (CONT’D)No! Go. Run!
(in Russian, subtitled)[Get out! Go! Away!]
Mir “runs away,” to the edge of the woods, but stops. Lewiscatches up to Yuri. Mir slinks back, just out of sight.
LEWISRed dog infiltrator!
(holds Yuri down)I got the Russian!
(sees Caylor)Benedict Arnold!
MAJOR QUIMERA You’re all under arrest!
YURI(gets up, surrendering)
Comrades. No need to imprisoninnocent boy or lovely lady. I am only communist-pinko-traitor-spyhere.
MACYHe’s not a spy! He’s just ascientist.
CAYLORDon’t listen to them! He’s areporter. French! You know,‘Savoir Faire, paparazzi for thepopulists.’
YURIAnd what if popular Russian-Reporter-Scientist-Spy would like
to defect? Then you must protect me and valuable scientific items,no?
SHERIFF JIMWell--
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SERGEANT HIBBLEDefecting. We could work withthat.
MAJOR QUIMERA Defection? Protection?
Correction! I do the commandinghere, and I command...(to Yuri)
You! To keep your trap shut.Captain! Sheriff! What are you waiting for? Arrest them!
Quimera pulls his gun and raises it on Yuri. Caylorinterposes himself. This surprises everyone, includingHibble. Quimera does not bring down his gun.
CAYLORWhat are you, crazy? He’s unarmed.
MAJOR QUIMERA Get out of my way, boy!
SHERIFF JIMWhoa, Major! That is not the way we do things in this town!
SERGEANT HIBBLESir, uh. Can you put down the gun?
MAJOR QUIMERA Your job is to obey my orders,
Sergeant... not to tell me what Ican and cannot do!
MIR (V.O.)Humans. When they get something intheir silly heads, and it doesn’t want to budge, well, sometimesaction is the only answer.
Shooting out of the woods, Mir takes a flying leap and slamsinto Quimera, knocking the gun out of his hand.
YURI
Mir.
CAYLOR
Spotnik!
Quimera’s gun flies skyward. The TWIRLING GUN... OPENJAWS... Mir catches the pistol and takes off.
MACYRun!
CAYLORRun!
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Lewis intercepts and tackles Mir. OOMPH! The gun ricochetsagainst the ground... then...
BANG! YELP! The misfire grazes Mir’s thigh.
YURI
Mir!Yuri makes it to Mir. Cradles her. Quimera grabs the gunand puts it to Yuri’s head.
MAJOR QUIMERA Any more nonsense, and the Russkiegets it.
MACYCaylor! Shoo! Out of here!
SHERIFF JIM
(to Jennifer)Go! With the boy! Get!
MAJOR QUIMERA That’s right. Shoo, littlekiddies. Go home. It’s time forthe grown-ups to do some business.
Jennifer grabs Caylor by the arm and hauls him into...
EXT. EDGE OF WOODS - CONTINUOUS
Jennifer manages to get Caylor behind a tree, but he resists
and attempts to double back. Jennifer stops him.
JENNIFERDon’t! Let the grown-ups deal withit. You’ll just make things worse.
CAYLORHow could things get any worse?
JENNIFERYou’ve already lost your parentsand I’ve already lost my mom. If we’re not careful we could loseeverybody we have left.
Caylor lets Jennifer pull him into hiding. They watch as...
EXT. MACY’S YARD - DAY
Macy and Yuri are loaded into the back of a truck. AirmanDuggery throws Mir into a crate. A HOWL as her wound bleeds.
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Macy rushes over to Mir. Checks her. Then, glaringdefiantly over at Quimera and Duggery:
MACYYou... horrible men.
The trucks pull out and head down the Turnpike.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Caylor and Jennifer pursue the trucks, cutting through the woods...
CAYLORThey’re heading for MisterWesterveldt’s place. We can cutthrough Woody Holler. This way!
EXT. DOG DETENTION CENTER - DAY
Macy, Yuri and Mir’s convoy rolls through the entrance of anewly assembled compound -- Quonset huts and tents litter anopen field.
In the middle of the encampment, lit by prison lights is...
A BLOCK OF ANIMAL CAGES--
One quarter of the cages are occupied. The rest are beingfilled with animals as they come in on trucks.
Airmen stand guard talking and smoking, not worried. It’sonly dogs they’re guarding in small town America after all.
EXT. WOODS - DAY
Just outside the encampment, Caylor and Jennifer study theblock of animal cages.
CAYLORDo you see Spotnik?
JENNIFERNo.
Lewis comes up from behind and intrudes on them.
LEWISTailed, ya.
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JENNIFERWhat are you, my kid brother? Yougot nothing better to do thanfollow us around?
CAYLOR
(charges Lewis)You side-winding rattle snake!
LEWIS(fights back)
Whoa! I’m here protecting Americafrom traitors. Like you!
JENNIFER(hears another convoy)
Stop it. Both of you! Look!
Surprisingly, Lewis stops. A convoy passes by. If we didn’t
know any better, it would seem like Lewis has a crush onJennifer.
LEWISSorry, Jennifer.
Then Lewis sees in the back of a truck, his dog...
LEWIS (CONT’D)Wait a minute! Samson?! Thatlooks like Samson!
CAYLOR
Guess Samson’s a traitor too.
JENNIFERWait. That’s my dog! Boston!
LEWISNo good dirty rats! We had a deal.
Suddenly in the encampment, the kids see Sergeant Hibble andAirman Duggery take Yuri and Macy from a staging area to aquonset hut. In the distance they hear:
MACY
(yelling)This is ridiculous. That Major ofyours is over-stepping hisauthority! What about due process?I’m a citizen for goodness sakes!
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MAJOR QUIMERA Not until we’re sure. The only wayto know if this is our dog is tocut her up... slice her bones,extract her internal organs. Tosee what happens in space.
SERGEANT HIBBLECut her up?
MIR (V.O.)Cut me up? What kind of reward isthat for being a hero?
MAJOR QUIMERA Based on the Oh-Two Tanks, whatever was in that capsule was in orbitfor twenty-two days! A new record.And I want--
SERGEANT HIBBLE(realizing)
The in-vitro data...
Mir protests and struggles as Quimera snaps on head gear thenattempts to lock Mir’s head into an immobilization rig. Inher avoidance, Mir’s re-opened wound bleeds more.
SERGEANT HIBBLE (CONT’D)And if she’s the wrong dog?
MAJOR QUIMERA
Then we cut up the next one. Andthe next one. We keep cuttinguntil we find our canine cosmonaut.Now help me with this rig!
SERGEANT HIBBLE(distressed)
Here. Let me! Easy, girl. Easy.
Under Hibble’s gentling, Mir quiets to a whimper, as she paysvery close attention to Hibble who locks her into theimmobilization rig.
Down--left--under--and--click. Off Mir as...
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
Caylor, Lewis, Jennifer and their friends and classmatesgather on the outskirts of the Dog Detention Center. We seea variety of headgear and mis-matched outfits...
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Caylor in his cowboy hat. Jennifer in her girl scout beret.Lewis in his fedora, an INDIGNANT BOY in a colonial tricorncap, an ANGRY GIRL in a World-War-One tin-pot helmet, and aSCARED BOY in a high-fan military hat.
Everyone has brought a walkie-talkie and is armed with a
household tool or toy weapon to match.
CAYLOR(cocks Red Ryder BB Gun)
I’ve brought you all together for avital mission. To liberate ourdogs and secure our freedom from the clutches of a power-mad, back-stabbing invader. Namely, oneMajor Quimera, U.S.A.F.
ANGRY GIRL(swings axe)
Just point me at him!
INDIGNANT BOY(clicks wire-cutters)
No one dog-naps, Ralphie! ‘Quarter-tine’ or not.
SCARED BOY(leans on sledgehammer)
I don’t know, that’s a lot of grown-ups. Maybe we should turn back.
LEWIS
(shakes Tommy Gun)What are you? A crumb bum? Dis’here’s my law. I’m getting Samsonback no matter what.
CAYLORWhatever’s going on in there, itcan’t be good. If you want to getyour dogs back, here’s what wegotta to do.
The kids huddle together. Caylor draws quick diagrams in the
dirt as he tells them the plan.
INT. LABORATORY TRAILER - NIGHT
Mir, locked into immobilization rig, eyes Quimera as he picksup a hypodermic needle and syringe.
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MIR (V.O.)Starving in winter is bad.Crashing from space is bad. Butnever in my life had I ever seenbad the way I saw it in thathuman’s eyes.
MAJOR QUIMERA All right, one little shot to putyou to sleep--
Mir squirms. HOWLS. Hibble can’t take it any more andblocks Quimera.
SERGEANT HIBBLEMajor, with all due respect, youcould overdose the dog beforegetting any useful data. Let meget the vet.
MAJOR QUIMERA Fine! You got no stomach for this?Get your vet. You got ten minutes.
Sergeant Hibble leaves to get Macy.
INT. QUONSET HUT - NIGHT
Yuri and Macy sit tied, back-to-back. Macy struggles withthe rope. Yuri sits stoically.
MACYAll I wanted was a nice familyouting. A happy nephew. And nowlook at me. All this for a dog.
YURINot just dog. New friend. Family.Your boy, very passionate.
MACY(imitating Yuri)
Passion lead to big Americantrouble.
YURIWhat trouble? This not trouble.
MACYArrested and handcuffed to a chair?
YURILook. Your boy. He has somethinghe cares about.
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CAYLORIt’s the signal.
(into walkie-talkie)Move out.
Everyone makes their way into camp.
EXT. DOG DETENTION CENTER - NIGHT
At the Dog Compound, the dogs know something is up. Theypace, whine, and bark.
Unseen by the airmen, the kids set tripwires, plantfirecrackers, hang sacks of potatoes and water balloons booby-trapping quonset huts, tents and storage facilities.
INT. QUONSET HUT - NIGHT
Yuri stands behind Macy at the door. CLICK! The door opens.
YURII told you love would set us free--
MACY(puts away hairpin)
It was a hairpin. Wait ‘til thecoast is clear.
Yuri takes the opening and plants a big kiss on Macy incelebration. She can’t tell if the kiss is from happiness orif there is more. But then she feels the spark. A moment of
real connection, then--
Hibble walks in on them.
SERGEANT HIBBLEAm I interrupting something?
INT. LABORATORY TRAILER - NIGHT
Major Quimera looms over Mir. Irritated. He tries toexamine Mir.
MAJOR QUIMERA
I won’t tolerate this lack ofcooperation. Stop moving!
MIR (V.O.)Normally I am very compliant dog.But that day, was an exception.
Quimera lunges at Mir who donkey-kicks him. Angry, he grabsa scalpel. The DOOR OPENS and Macy, Yuri and Hibble enter.
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MACYI would put that down if I wereyou. You insist on kidnapping anddrugging four-legged family membersand carving them up to kingdom come, you’re going to have one
rebellious town.
MAJOR QUIMERA (waves scalpel at Macy)
This town isn’t my concern.
YURI(steps in front of Macy)
It should be.
MAJOR QUIMERA You!
Mir contorts her body, reversing everything Hibble did. Over--right--up--and--click! The immobilization device unlocks!
Mir jumps off the table and BITES QUIMERA. He drops thescalpel but swings around with the syringe.
MAJOR QUIMERA (CONT’D)You little rat buzzard! Hibble!Restrain the prisoners!
Quimera tries to stab Mir who dodges him. Hibble engagesYuri. Quimera sees Macy about to grab the fallen scalpel.He gets it first.
EXT. DOG DETENTION CENTER - NIGHT
Caylor and his team are ready at their stations.
CAYLOR(into walkie-talkie)
It’s showdown at the Okay Corral,pardners! The caribou howls at midnight! Repeat: The caribouhowls at midnight. Light ‘em up!
Everyone lights their fuses.
AND ALL THE FIRECRACKERS GO OFF! PSHOONG! BOOM! CRACK-CRACK-CRACK! PHESHEEEEEUW!
CHAOS! MADNESS! THE CAMP GOES NUTS!
The kids whoop and stream out from their hiding places.Lewis stands with his Tommy Burst Gun. An eruption of fire:
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LEWISLights out!
A rolling pin bashes tent stakes and tents come tumblingdown. Arrows pierce jeep tires.
A lariat pulls away a barrel from a stack; the entire stackgoes rolling.
Wirecutters sever guy wires, and an axe smashes fuse boxes.Airmen get clobbered by booby-trapped potato sacks.
Quimera’s men muster up through the chaos but quickly see what they are dealing with.
AIRMAN DUGGERYHold your fire! It’s kids!
Lewis rounds a corner. Duggery gets pelleted with cap gunshot.
AIRMAN DUGGERY (CONT’D)Did you really have to do that?
LEWISThat’s for Samson.
Lewis runs. Duggery pursues. Lewis jumps a guy wire. Theairman trips over it. A sack of potatoes falls, torpedoingDuggery, followed by a net, which entangles him.
LEWIS (CONT’D)Sucker!
Lewis escapes, heading to the dog detainment area.
EXT. DOG COMPOUND - NIGHT
Lewis joins Caylor and Jennifer as the kids reach the cages.
CAYLORFree the dogs!
The kids rush to their locked-up dogs. Caylor jams his BBgun stock against a lock. Hard. It breaks open. The Scared
Boy’s pug, Bandit, is freed and rushes to his owner.
SCARED BOYBandit! Puggly-wuggly, Bandit-boo!
Other children follow suit. The Indignant Boy uses his wirecutters, freeing his dog. The Angry Girl whacks her axeagainst cage hinges, freeing her chihuahua. Jennifer, withher rolling pin, wallops a lock. It comes open.
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INDIGNANT BOYRalphie!
ANGRY GIRLPetunia!
JENNIFERBoston!
Lewis uses his lock-pick to release Samson.LEWIS
Come on Samson, time to go!
Lewis and Samson take off. All the kids and dogs scatter.The cages are emptied. Everyone has their dog except:
CAYLORSpotnik! You seen Spotnik?
JENNIFERI don’t see her. What do we do?
Caylor thinks... looks at:
CAYLORBoston! He’s a bloodhound.
(takes out Mir’s collar)Can he find whoever was wearingthis?
INT. LABORATORY TRAILER - NIGHT
Macy, unarmed, gets between Quimera and Mir. Hibble holdsback Yuri. Mir growls in a corner.
MAJOR QUIMERA No dog is going to take down mydepartment!
MACYWhat you’re doing is not evenlegal!
Major Quimera, scalpel flashing in the light, lunges at Macyand Mir.
HIBBLEWait! No! YURI(in Russian)[Son of a bitch!]
Hibble lets go of Yuri. Both men move to stop Quimera. Macyand Mir scatter. Suddenly...
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INT. LABORATORY TRAILER - CONTINUOUS
Macy sees Caylor, Jennifer and Boston rush by outside.
MACYCaylor? Caylor!
She goes to the door, but Hibble steps in her way.
SERGEANT HIBBLEI’m sorry, ma’am. I have myorders.
WHAM! Yuri hits Hibble over the head with a dog crate.Hibble goes down, unconscious...
YURISorry. Very sorry.
Macy and Yuri rush out into the chaos.
EXT. DOG DETENTION CENTER - NIGHT
Avoiding ensnared airmen, sputtering fireworks, swingingpotato sacks and assorted sprung booby-traps, Macy and Yuri make their way through the camp. Yuri hears a DOG WHINE.
YURIMir! This way.
Following the sound, they find...
CAYLOR AND MIR--
Along with Jennifer and Boston. Mir paws at her head gear.She whines pitifully. Macy looks at Caylor and thesurrounding chaos.
MACYOh my laundry! You did this?
Caylor looks up, sees Macy. Runs to her. A big hug.
CAYLORAunt Macy. Look... what they didto her.
YURIYou see? He acts out of love.
MACYTo save the dog.
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CAYLORI wasn’t just saving Spotnik.
Macy knows Caylor means her. Mir whines. Paws her head.
MACY
First things first, we need to gether out of this.
Macy grabs a buckle to unlock Mir. Yuri butts in.
YURIThis. Over here. Go like this.
MACYYou’re in my way, buddy. What?You think I’m your girlfriend now,so you can boss me around?
CAYLORGirlfriend?
MACYYou have no idea what you’re doing.
YURIOf course I do. I have PhD inAstro-Zoology. Best animal man inentire Science Ministry.
MACYDoctor of Veterina