Speak STRONG, Smart, & Sweet The 3 Sources of Power for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations.
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Transcript of Speak STRONG, Smart, & Sweet The 3 Sources of Power for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations.
Speak STRONG,
Smart, &
Sweet The 3 Sources of Power
for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations
Note
This PowerPoint accompanies the DVD and MP3Speak STRONG, Smart & Sweet The 3 Sources of Power for Assistants to Master Tough Conversations
Available at http://www.speakstrong.com/store/
Read the accompanying article:Key Conversations for Administrative Assistants located
here: http://www.speakstrong.com/articles/assts-support/savvy-assistants.html
Poison Phrase of the Week
- Blame it on your assistant
Teach Your Children Well
Codes
•A system used for brevity or secrecy of communication
•A set of standards
Code of Ethics for Administrative Professionals
1. The administrative professional shall act as a trusted agent in professional relations, implementing responsibilities in the most competent manner and exercising knowledge and skill to promote the interests of the immediate and corporate employer.
2. The administrative professional shall strive to maintain and enhance the dignity, status, competence, and standards of the profession and its practitioners.
3. The administrative professional shall insist that judgments concerning continued employment, compensation, and promotion be based upon professional knowledge, ability, experience, and performance.
4. The administrative professional must consider the promotion and preservation of the safety and welfare of the public to be the paramount duty.
Maria’s Job Description
•Write memos•Set up meetings•Handle complaints•Sort mail•Order supplies
•Compose memos•Coordinate events•Manage customer relations•Prioritize communication•Make purchasing decisions
Codes WeCan Cling To
Three sources of communication power
1.Strength / determination / toughness
2.Smarts / savvy / clarity
3.Sweetness / saintliness / heart
Full-brain communication
As strong as…
A PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to be and no stronger…
You’ve got to be tough if you’re going to be stupid
Calm Down!!
BreatheBreatheThe Power of Integrated
Communication
A real tear-stopper
Get them…
•Thinking (objective)•Feeling (connection, team)
•Acting (results, goals)
Communication Options
What kind of idiot are you?-The same kind of idiot as the person who hired me
I will not allow you to talk with me that way. I expect to be treated as a professional.
Calling me an idiot is counterproductive to our efficiency…
and to our working relationship.
Communication Options
Can’t you follow any directions?
-I could if they weren’t being given by a moron
Stop.
Learning curves are natural.
Let’s work as a team.
Communication Options
My dog can do a better job than you can.
- Hire your dogThat remark is insulting.
I’m on your team.
I am a professional and I expect to be treated as one.
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to ChooseLose: Pathetically Passive
Encumbered with a low self image, Bob takes a job as a speed-bump.
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Lose: Annoyingly Aggressive
Bob’s group encounter sessions were not working out.
Bottle and BlowDo You Go From…
Silence to violence?Holding back to attack?
Mute to brute?
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Lose: Deceptively Passive-Aggressive
I love your hair! Do you cut it yourself?
Three Approaches to LoseOne Approach to Choose
Choose: Effectively Assertive!
Claim your authority
I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to your boss.
I can pass your question on to my boss – she’ll get back to you in a few days. However, there’s a good chance I can help you now. Which do you prefer?
Speak with your boss’ voice
I can’t help you
(Boss’s name) sent me here to get this, and (name) expects me to return with the information she sent me to get. I will tell (name) that you told me you won’t give me the information she sent me to get.
Clear job descriptions
(Boss) has told me that my first priority is to do this project. If she gives approval to prioritize your request over hers, Ill be happy to do that. Let me know if she does that.
Clear work relationship
1. Weekly written updates2. Daily meetings3. Weekly meetings4. Judgment calls
Take charge without taking over
What would they want me to do?
Keep on walking until someone tells
you to stop
PowerPhrases: Short. Specific. Targeted. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Not mean when you say it.
Craft Clear Phrases
Be Brief
Whoa! Way too much information!
A PowerPhrase is as long as it needs to be…
…and no longer.
Dive right in
I have three questions for you and I need five minutes of your time.
Be Specific
PowerPhrases are Specific
No dear, when I said I was leaving this morning, it wasn’t for good. I should be home around seven.
Task clarification
1.Specs2.Deadline3.Budget4.Priority relating to
other tasks
Be specific
I’ll get this to you by 3 PM TuesdayIn order to complete this project, I need three things from you. They are…I need your authority. Will you please tell the team that you expect them to respond to my requests as they would respond to yours. I’m leaving at 4:15 today.
I’ll get this to you soon.
This is not clear.
Get the team to listen to me.
I’m leaving early.
PowerPhrases are Targeted
Know what you want
1. Be clear about your boundaries2. Keep your job3. Get information
Say What You Mean…
Think / factsFeel / connectionWant / act
Thoughts/Facts
(I think) that’s a great idea.(I think) it may be unrealistic to try to
get that by tonight.I think you’re an idiot to ask that.
Feel/connection
I care about your request.I’m concerned that if I try to make that
happen, something else will not get done.
I respect you and want to honor your request.
We would love that.That would bring us together.
Want / Action
I want to be able to do what you ask without dropping a ball that I’m already juggling.
I will check on it and get back to you. I will do my best to research that once
I’ve fought the fires that are blazing right now. Is that acceptable?
Mean what you say
Back your words up with action
I mean what I say
Please log your request into my assignment book.
While I’d like to honor your request, I’ve already committed my time to Mary. If you want me to give your project priority, please talk to her.
I will be leaving on time today.
Don’t be mean when you say it
Fact-finding, not fault-finding.
That’s the way you gave it to me.You’re not making sense.You never told me that.
Before leaving last week I asked the department members if they had all that was needed to hold down the fort while I was gone. My part time assistant shoots me the comment
Yeah, for you not to make any mistakes before you leave.
Facts. Feeling. Action.
• (I think) you are asking me to do something illegal.
• I feel uncomfortable with that.• I will notarize it if I see your wife sign it.
• (I think) by transferring this, I put myself at risk.
• I feel afraid to do that.• I will transfer it when I know Cliff has
signed off on it.
Administrative Assistant’s Ultimate Communication Formula
Say What You MeanMean What You Say
Without being Mean When You Say It
Maria’s Job Description
•Write memos•Set up meetings•Handle complaints•Sort mail•Order supplies
•Compose memos•Coordinate events•Manage customer relations•Prioritize communication•Make purchasing decisions
Proactive
Not an order-takerComputerized process that used to
be done by hand?Just an assistant?We have a problem. I have a
solution.No trash can? I’ll just get one.
Action Steps
1. Determine what conversations you need to have
2. Define your codes3. Develop PowerPhrases
for common situations4. Practice your phrases5. Start small6. Applaud baby steps7. Workup to the big one8. Keep on walking until
someone tells you to stop
For more information…
Get the DVD or MP3 of this presentation at: www.speakstrong.com/store/
Bring Meryl to your meeting or organization. Visit: www.speakstrong.com/hire_meryl/keynotes.html#power