Jan Bak

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TITLE LAYOUT

She Said It

Doesn’t Matter

It Does

But A Lot Of Them Are Annoying

The Thought Is Gross!

Say It

Isn’t So!

Cut Your Nails, You

Filthy Mofo

What You Think That

Joint Account Is For?

All The Other Guys

Meant Nothing!

It Was Just

Physical

You’re The Real

Star

Sure I Do

The Impact Of

Post-Internet Globalization

On Humanity

Evergreen

Jan Bak

I’ve been

called crazy,

That’s cool

with me.

2016The cream rises to the top

Because in

You don’t have to tell white

lies to make people like you

Easy way out is to smile in

a man’s face thengossip behind his back

But what happens when

your child points the finger at you?

I chase these bills,

I don’t chase cheap thrills

You don’t want

me in your

insurance pool…

Why would I want to

subsidize the health

care of a bunch of

spoiled adults?

Barriers To EntryJan Bak

5

GUESS THAT’S JUST HUMAN NATURE

A classic insult men employ is to tell other men that their goals/dreams/plans/ambitions are an illusion

It’s a good thing American Women don’t have time for that

Money can’t buy love – Being practical might get you invited for coffee though

George Costanza – I can’t drink coffee late at night

Too late to be drinking coffee

$5 Cover

$5 – All you needed to enjoy an evening downtown

with your friends…maybe it was two 5’s…

Chanel No 5

Separates the upper class from the middle class

DJ Mustard 95 BPM Beats

You can call the music stupid,

but she’s too busy partying to hear you

Wrigley’s 5 Gum

It’s a universal thing how one’s reaction to being

offered gum tells volumes about one’s personality

5th Amendment

Chappelle Show – Tron

••

•

LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

E X P L A I N E D B Y ‘ M U R I C AW I T H H E L P F R O M T H A T P O S T M A N A G I T A T O R N E W M A N

Childhood

Adulthood

W O R K , W O R K , W O R K , PAY TA X E STHEN WORK SOME MORE

In the meantime, there’s so much great music to listen to

And just as many great album covers

Some are pure perfection

Others are dope as hell

And there are those that appeal to the attributes prized by

both the superficial and non-superficial man and

the superficial and non-superficial woman

SIDENOTE

DJ Premier

is the man

I’ve got some secrets to tellListen up…

Why I Love Change

In the city, you need quarters to wash your clothes and the moment you need to

do laundry is when quarters magically vanish from the Earth

Why I Use Many Credit Cards

When you marry for money, you earn every penny, so I guess I’m single for the time

being…and that’s absolutely fine with me

Why I Enjoy Foreign Cars

They are quite nice, and they bring quite nice moments into my life. In addition, the service required to maintain them creates new forms

of gainful employment, so it’s not just “American cars” that are good to buy

That’s It

Jules Don’t Play

When I’m in business mode, I like to focus by watching Pulp Fiction

GOING THROUGH SOME THINGSJAN BAK

LUXURY CARS ASIDE,

GERMAN ENGINEERING IS OKAY,

AMERICAN WORKMANSHIP IS REALLY WHAT’S UP

NICE DIPLOMA ON THE WALLWAS IT WORTH THE TIME AND MONEY PUT IN TO GET IT?

BUSINESS OVER BUFFOONERY

THE ONLY THING PEOPLE LOVE MORE THAN PAYING LIP SERVICE TO THINGS

THEY NEVER PLAN TO ACTUALLY DO IS TO GET PAID FOR ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING

PROPERTY ZONES, STUDENT LOANS, AUTO LOANS, CELL PHONES

Nobody wants to work hard for 15 years and not have a car to drive

Nobody ever thought they would end up homeless

Nobody ever believed that “This Economy” could happen to them

Nobody ever expected to pay “That Much!” in alimony

Nobody always thought Everybody was dumber than him, and he always felt like

Somebody until he realized that Anybody could do his job and Anybody’s friend

treated his wife in a way that Nobody could never understand

The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about, but just

remember that people are almost always talking

If tomorrow never comes, then it doesn’t come, but just in case it does, be ready

IF YOU DO IT SMART, YOU WON’T HAVE TO FACE THOSE PROBLEMS

Think with your head

This is better than Days Of Our Lives, this is Real Life

I made it to where I want to be in life

And everybody I know that’s still chasing their goals

Thinks I owe them something

And every person that was down with me

Or wanted to be, wants to be just like me

They think I owe them something

Every woman I stopped spending time with

Thinks I owe them something

A man can't even ride in his car

Can't even walk through the streets

Without a joker thinking that he owes them something

I got mine, you need to get yours

People I used to call family,

They don’t understand me,

They think a man just got beaucoup money,

Just to blow on them, just to give to some m**********rs

That don’t want to do anything for themselves

Be a real m**********r, be a true player, get your own

I Enjoy Covers & Samples

GOON COLLUSIONFUTURISTIC FICTION

GCFF

It’s not real

WE’RE GOING TO BLAME OTHERS FOR RANDOM NONSENSE AND BLOW MINOR THINGS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION WHILE WE SECRETLY COLLUDE

TO GOUGE PRICES

JK, JKWE’RE JUST DOING OUR JOBS

BUT SERIOUSLY, WHAT NUMBER SHOULD I PLUG

INTO THE COMPUTER FOR THE DISCOUNT RATE?

PRAY.HUSTLE.COLLECT.PARTYJAN BAK

PRAY

HUSTLE

COLLECT

PARTY

Feeling Depressed? Angry? Bored? Eager? Overstimulated? Upset? Lost?

Confused? Frustrated?

SOMETIMES THE BEST SOLUTION IS TO GO TUNNEL VISION ON THE MONEY

Tunnel VisionMoney, Money, Money, Money, Money

You Don’t Know My NameJ. BAK

The Evolution Of My Name

Bak Jawnqs Jon

Silent Q

Why would anyone want to ‘Climb the Ladder’ when it’s much smarter to ‘Walk the Steps’

1

2.4

6

The Steps

Learning The Game Winning The Game Defining The Game

Nowadays, call me what you want –Just don’t forget the ‘J’

J JJJ

StoryboardProtagonist

The Shirtless Man

PremiseProtagonist yells at other dudes to seem tough in front of his lady pal –

Hilarity ensues

Executive Summary for a potential television program entitled Bums Making Money

The Friends, The FoesHere & Abroad

Jan Bak

What you know about repatriating finances?

>

Quite Nice Moments™ − Marked by Paul Wall Music

Chillin’ With The Homies

Living, Laughing, Lounging

Working At The Intercontinental

More Money Making Music

You already know

in case you don’t have enough

Ain’t The Same Ballpark,

Ain’t The Same League,

Ain’t Even The Same Sport

“

”

“

”

Sup

Jumpman

Jumpman

Jumpman

JumpmanTrumpman

WORKING

Since 2001