Amplify YourInfluence

DAY 3: HIGH IMPACT COMMUNICATION

Today’s objectives

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Guessing otherpeople’s types

Using type tocommunicate

better

Communicatingwith groups

Using coachingquestions

Exercise

• Based on your type, write down your keystrengths and key weaknesses

• Now try to identify which type or typescould help you cover off thoseweaknesses

• Who might you know that might be ofthose types?

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Typing others

• Working out someone else’s type is noteasy

• Remember that what you are trying toguess is how people prefer to do things

• But this may not be the behaviour thatyou see!

• So, it’s useful to guess MBTI and thenuse temperament to check your guess

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The methodWorking from the outside in and looking for patterns…

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E or I:• does the person get

energised in crowds, orneed to retreat torecharge?

E S T J

I N F PJ or P:• How punctual are they?• How accepting of others

being late are they?

The method cont…Working from the outside in and looking for patterns…

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• Do they prefer real,concrete, & tangible

• OR theoretical, abstract, &conceptual

E S T J

I N F P• Do they focus on the present or

past and favour the tried andtrue

• OR look for future possibilitiesand change

The method cont…Working from the outside in and looking for patterns…

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• Do they decide with theirheart or their head?

• Can they make harddecisions or deliver badnews?

E S T J

I N F P• Do they need to be reminded to

consider people’s feelings

• OR reminded to consider theprecedent they are setting?

So you’ve had a guess…

• Time to check against the temperament

• If you guessed N, are they an idealist ora rational?

• If you guessed S, are they a guardian oran artisan?

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TemperamentsRationals (NT)• Pragmatic, sceptical, self-contained, and focused on

problem-solving and systems analysis.• Pride themselves on being ingenious, independent,

and strong willed.• Make reasonable mates, individualizing parents, and

strategic leaders• Even-tempered, trust logic, yearn for achievement,

seek knowledge, prize technology, and dream ofunderstanding how the world works

Idealists (NF)• Enthusiastic, trust their intuition, yearn for romance,

seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships,and dream of attaining wisdom

• Pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, andauthentic

• Giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused onpersonal journeys and human potentials

• Intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirationalleaders

Artisans (SP)• Fun-loving, optimistic, realistic, and focused on the

here and now• Pride themselves on being unconventional, bold,

and spontaneous• Make playful mates, creative parents, and

troubleshooting leaders• Excitable, trust their impulses, want to make a

splash, seek stimulation, prize freedom, and dreamof mastering action skills

Guardians (SJ)• Pride themselves on being dependable, helpful, and

hard-working• Loyal mates, responsible parents, and stabilizing

leaders• Dutiful, cautious, humble, and focused on

credentials and traditions• Concerned citizens who trust authority, join groups,

seek security, prize gratitude, and dream of metingout justice

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ce: w

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Last reality check• We all use ourselves as a reference point… so is your

tendency to focus on similarities or differences?

• Are you over-emphasising how different or similar they areto you?

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Rationals (NT)10%

Idealists (NF)17%

Artisans (SP)27%

Guardians (SJ)46%

Frustrations

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Getting specific• When someone is frustrating you, try to determine

what exactly is frustrating:

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E-I

• Too loud/soft• Too slow to

respond• Won’t shut up• Talks too

fast/slow• Gives me

nothing• Doesn’t give

me time tothink

S-N

• Too literal• Not grounded• Scared of

change• Wants to

changeeverything

• Never getsspecific

• Can’t see thebig picture

T-F

• Seems harshor cold

• Seems soft-hearted andweak

• Forgets toconsiderpeople

• Forgets toconsider theprecedent orgroup

J-P

• Unorganised• Too rigid• Messy• Neat freak• Doesn’t get

things done• Takes over

everything• Always late• Too uptight

Adjusting your behaviour

• Once you understand where thefrustration is coming from, you can adjustyour behaviour to overcome it

• Often, all that is required is to allay theperson’s concerns that you have failed toconsider something they think is important

• Guess what? You probably have!

• So use their perspective to help youaddress that aspect and to communicatehow you have done that

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Activity

• Think of someone you have recently disagreedwith

• What was the source of the disagreement?

– Which MBTI letters do you differ on?

– What temperament might they be?

• What do you think their concerns might be?

• How could you adjust your behaviour orcommunication style to help?

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Elements of communication

Listening

Body language

Facial expressions

Tone

Prosody

Words

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Verbal vs. Non-verbal

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BodyLanguage,

55%

Tone, 38%

Words,7%

Sour

ces:

•W

iene

r &

Meh

rabi

an, (

1967

). Im

med

iacy

, dis

com

fort

-rel

ief

quot

ient

, and

con

tent

in v

erba

liza

tion

s ab

out p

osit

ive

and

nega

tive

exp

erie

nces

.Jou

rnal

of P

erso

nali

ty a

nd S

ocia

l Psy

chol

ogy,

7,2

66-2

74.

•M

ehra

bian

&Fe

rris

,(19

67).

Inf

eren

ce o

f at

titu

des

from

non

verb

al c

omm

unic

atio

n in

two

chan

nels

.Jou

rnal

of

Con

sult

ing

Psy

chol

ogy,

31,

248-

252.

The Three C’s

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Context

ClustersCongruence

Aristotle’s art of persuasion

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Ethos(credibility)

Pathos(emotion)

Logos(logic)

Ethos + Logos =True but uninspiring

Ethos + Pathos =Want to believe butdon’t know why

Logos + Pathos = Why should Ibelieve you?

Ethos

• What is your credibility?

– An ongoing process of adding andsubtracting based on your previousbehaviour

– Positional authority

– Different from different people’sperspectives

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Pathos

• What is your passion or emotion?

– Why should we care about what you aresaying?

– Do you care?

– Different people will care for differentreasons

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Logos

• What is your logic or evidence?

– Demonstrate your understanding and howyou know this

– Research, data, logic

– Different types of evidence will bepersuasive to different people

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Persuasion & Temperament

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Ethos(credibility)

Pathos(emotion)

Logos(logic)

Rationals

Guardians Artisans

Idealists

“It is the mark of an educated mind to beable to entertain a thought withoutaccepting it.” - Aristotle

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When you are trying to communicate, donot assume – ask!

Questioning

Find out what the foundation is, so thatyou can build from there.

Quality questions• Open ended

• Judgement free

• Seek to understand, not explain

• Frame positively

• Clarity & brevity

• Partner for solutions

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Exercise

• Pick a scenario out of the bag

• With a partner, work though how youcould communicate effectively to aresolution

• How could you open the conversation?

• What might you want to be careful notto do?

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Next session

Influencing othersTuesday 13 August

9am – 12pmVUSC Deer Park Campus

Coaching sessions22-26 July

19-22 August

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