SIZING UP THE SITUATION

Lessons 6 and 7

STEP 1

STEP 3

STEP 4

STEP 2

Think-First Model

SIZING UP THE SITUATION

When you size up the situation you develop a better way of:

•Understanding the problem •Staying cool-headed•Getting additional information•Understanding where others are coming from •Defining the problem in a way that will prevent a fight

Size Up the Situation

Jerome, Brian, Alfonse, and some other students are playing basketball during recess. The game becomes pretty rough and all of the students are really tired. Suddenly, Alfonse jabs Brian in the eye. Brian seems really mad.

Size up the Situation 1Brian: “You jerk! You did that on purpose!!”

Alfonse: “Hey sucker, this is a basketball game, not golf.”

Jerome: “OOH!! Brian, it looks he’s got you.”

Brian: “I don’t think so.”

Alfonse: “Why don’t we settled this after school! Or are you too much of a punk?”

• Did the boys effectively size up the situation?

Size up the Situation 2

• Brian: “You jerk! You did that on purpose!!!!”

• Jerome: “Hey, Brian, Shake it off! Shake it off! It was an accident.”

• Brian: “You know he did that on purpose….”

• Alfonse: “Hey Brian, it probably was an accident. You know as well as I do that the game was getting pretty rough anyway.”

• Jerome: “Lets get on with the game.”

•Did the boys effectively size up the situation?

Baggage...

This is the array of weighty or stressful experiences people

bring to a conflict situation. “Baggage” can influence the

way you deal with conflict and sometimes create conflict.

Example: Ralph is having a really bad day: His parents yelled at him this morning, he got in trouble in school for not doing his homework, and two older kids were making fun of him during lunch. Ralph is ready to lose his temper. In the afternoon, he is unable to see his way clear of a situation and gets into a fight with another kid who is spreading rumors about his family. Had the rumor incident happened on another day, Ralph might have been able to address the real problem without fighting. Baggage changes day to day, so some days we carry a heavier load then others.

People often pass judgment before they know the whole story and act

before they get the critical facts. When people are in a hurry, surprised,

confused or angry, they can easily jump to the wrong conclusions. They

might make snap judgments.

To size up the situation so that you are able to resolve conflicts and

prevent fights, you must be aware of several things. You need to know

yourself and others, what baggage you are bringing to the conflict. You also need to know what all the facts are before you jump to conclusions and impulsively define the problem.

When we are able to size up the situation well, we can handle conflict without fighting. We avoid acting on our hot headed thoughts, we avoid jumping to conclusions, we try to understand where others are coming from, and define our problems in ways that do not lead to fights.