Singlehood, Hanging out, hooking up, and Cohabitation

Chapter 4

Singlehood• Individuals are staying single longer in America and Abroad.

– Yet 95% of Americans eventually marry

– What are the primary advantages of staying single?– How does marriage limit your freedom?

• Are individuals who stay single discriminated against in American society? How? Are there stereotypes about men and women who stay single into their 30’s? 40’s? 50’s?

• Do others consider you mature if you remain single, opt not to have kids, and instead use your money and time to do other things?

• Are we socialized to seek and enjoy being in a relationship?

• Why are people staying single longer?– What cultural factors influence decision?

The Acceptance of Singlehood

• Acceptance of singlehood as a lifestyle can be attributed to social movements:– Sexual Revolution– Women’s Movement– Gay Liberation movement

Staying Single

• Macro-Level Factors– Things over which we have little or no control

affect our decisions about marriage:• war• technology• social movements• the economy• gender roles

Staying Single

• Individual (micro-level) reasons– Waiting for a “soul mate”– Being independent– Enjoying close relationships with peers– Not wanting to make a commitment– Having children– Fearing divorce– Being healthy and physically attractive

Alternatives to Marriage Project

• Mission Statement:– To advocate “for equality and fairness for

unmarried people, including people who are single, choose not to marry, cannot marry, or live together before marriage”.

Ways of Finding a Partner

• M & F sociologists are interested in the question: How do people find each other and get together and how has this process changed overtime along with cultural norms?

• Do individuals search for mates differently then they did in the past?

– Is dating dead? Does traditional dating still exist?

– What role has technology played in these changes?

The dating spectrum

• In traditional dating, males and females follow clear, culturally defined gender role scripts, at least among the middle class.– What does the traditional date look like? Who

plans? Who drives? Who pays? – Are there sexual expectations that accompany

paying for the date?

Ways of finding a partner

• Hanging out– Refers to going out in groups where the agenda is

to meet others and have fun.• Hooking up– A one-time sexual encounter in which there is little

or no expectation of a relationship.– The nature of the encounter may be making out,

oral sex, and/or sexual intercourse.• If an individual is hooking up with one person, is it OK to

hook up with others?

• What are the advantages and disadvantages of internet dating?

Meeting a New Partner

• The Internet—Meeting Online– There are over 1000 Web sites designed for

meeting a new partner. • Primary advantage: Efficiency

• The Internet: The downside• Do people portray themselves accurately online?

– What do women and men emphasize about themselves?

– Is there social stigma about searching for mates online?

Cohabitation

• Also known as living together.• Becoming a “normative life experience”.– Almost 60% of U.S. women who married in the

1990s reported that they had cohabited before marriage.

– Who disapproves of cohabitation?

• Why do people cohabitate?

Types of Cohabitation

• 8 types?

Consequences of Cohabitation

• Advantages– Sense of well being, delayed marriage, knowledge

about self and partner, and safety• Is cohabitation a better option than marriage?

• Disadvantages?

Cohabitation

• Disadvantages– Feeling used or tricked-Gender differences– Problems with parents– Economic disadvantages– Effects on children

Living Apart Together

• A committed couple who does not live in the same home– Would you consider living apart while married?• Why or why not